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Anon is a philosopher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)20:26:41 No.849995996 >be me >a philosopher >be me? they are based, do not quarrel wilth them; Tthey are shills, ignore them."-Pepetetus 338 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)20:26:41 No.849995996 >be me >a philosopher >be me? they are based, do not quarrel wilth them; Tthey are shills, ignore them."-Pepetetus 338 KB JPG

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Anon experiences a low | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)04:12:07 No.849964469 >be me >nobody calls or texts to check up on me anymore >nobody wants to hang out >insecure >havent been able to make friends 27 KB PNG or get into a relationship >losing friends >lonely sack of s--- >sad Why the f--- is life like this anon's? I feel so down and nobody seems to care about me anymore
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)04:12:07 No.849964469 >be me >nobody calls or texts to check up on me anymore >nobody wants to hang out >insecure >havent been able to make friends 27 KB PNG or get into a relationship >losing friends >lonely sack of s--- >sad Why the f--- is life like this anon's? I feel so down and nobody seems to care about me anymore

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Anon collaborates with a musician | /r/Greentext

I worked on the set of Billie Eilish's music video Bury A Friend shot back in November 2018. I can tell you that Billie is a verified retarded person. >She loudly farts and burps in front of everyone and although I didn't ask anyone I'm fairly certain she was wearing adult diapers >her assistant led her around the set by holding her hand and when we said something to her the assistant would translate it to her with different words and by pointing at things >Billie wanted a Capri Sun so I sat one in front of her and she stared at it for nearly an hour untilI put the straw in it and then she sucked down the entire thing in one gulp >I had to place 10 Animal Crackers on a paper towel for her and as soon as she finished eating them she would look at me like a puppy and I had to place exactly 10 more Animal Crackers on her paper towel >she would stare at an IPad with a big smile on her face between shots and when I looked over her shoulder I saw she was watching Paw Patrol >she definitely has Turrettes that makes her twitch and contort her face and speaks of herself in third person, ie. "Billie wants to sleep" or "Billie need drink" The list goes on but I give you my 100% guarantee that Billie Eilish is an adult with special needs.
I worked on the set of Billie Eilish's music video Bury A Friend shot back in November 2018. I can tell you that Billie is a verified retarded person. >She loudly farts and burps in front of everyone and although I didn't ask anyone I'm fairly certain she was wearing adult diapers >her assistant led her around the set by holding her hand and when we said something to her the assistant would translate it to her with different words and by pointing at things >Billie wanted a Capri Sun so I sat one in front of her and she stared at it for nearly an hour untilI put the straw in it and then she sucked down the entire thing in one gulp >I had to place 10 Animal Crackers on a paper towel for her and as soon as she finished eating them she would look at me like a puppy and I had to place exactly 10 more Animal Crackers on her paper towel >she would stare at an IPad with a big smile on her face between shots and when I looked over her shoulder I saw she was watching Paw Patrol >she definitely has Turrettes that makes her twitch and contort her face and speaks of herself in third person, ie. "Billie wants to sleep" or "Billie need drink" The list goes on but I give you my 100% guarantee that Billie Eilish is an adult with special needs.

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Anon is a bigger Chad than his Dad | /r/Greentext

A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse “yes" >l don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin
A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse “yes" >l don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin

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Anon Hacks | /r/Greentext

|(gidsetsize <= NGROUPS_SMALL) group_ _infr 3] = group_info->small_block; for (i i++) { gi Crict roup nfa groupe toc(int gidcersizH locks- a Htruck group tnfo goup_info; _page (GFP_USER); kkeire ksnea ltorae at Zeast mae dndirect hl >Be me >Hacker >Go on 4chan >See anime bitch on my screen N---- hwat >Alexa, turn on my hacking playlist >Playing cotton eye joe >Get my dewy and anonymous mask >Right click on the w---- >Inspect element Finnabouttamakeverdunlooklikeachildrens fight.jpeg >Press back space >anime girl is gone >Trump calls me >"Anon, I need your skills to hack the election results" >Will do >Trump wins in all 50 US states because of me >mfw all he had to do was use inspect element to change results >mfw boomers are retarded
|(gidsetsize <= NGROUPS_SMALL) group_ _infr 3] = group_info->small_block; for (i i++) { gi Crict roup nfa groupe toc(int gidcersizH locks- a Htruck group tnfo goup_info; _page (GFP_USER); kkeire ksnea ltorae at Zeast mae dndirect hl >Be me >Hacker >Go on 4chan >See anime bitch on my screen N---- hwat >Alexa, turn on my hacking playlist >Playing cotton eye joe >Get my dewy and anonymous mask >Right click on the w---- >Inspect element Finnabouttamakeverdunlooklikeachildrens fight.jpeg >Press back space >anime girl is gone >Trump calls me >"Anon, I need your skills to hack the election results" >Will do >Trump wins in all 50 US states because of me >mfw all he had to do was use inspect element to change results >mfw boomers are retarded

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Anon escaped punishment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48403167 3 hours ago >be me >9th grade >bored af in class >decide to create some calculator art >made the nazi flag with my ti-84 plus >greatidea.jpg >decide to show my masterpiece to the 8.2 kB JPG austistic kid >show it to him >"thats a really nice pinwheel anon" >kek my sides >teacher says "anon ill see you after class" >imfucked.png >fast forward to when class ends >asks me to show him my calculator >decide to show him because im f----- anyway >he sees it >gets up and pats me on the back >"anon i always new we had something in common" >whattheactualfuck.mp4 >he says heil hitler and lets me go with no punishments >mfw my teacher thought i was a nazi
Anonymous | 48403167 3 hours ago >be me >9th grade >bored af in class >decide to create some calculator art >made the nazi flag with my ti-84 plus >greatidea.jpg >decide to show my masterpiece to the 8.2 kB JPG austistic kid >show it to him >"thats a really nice pinwheel anon" >kek my sides >teacher says "anon ill see you after class" >imfucked.png >fast forward to when class ends >asks me to show him my calculator >decide to show him because im f----- anyway >he sees it >gets up and pats me on the back >"anon i always new we had something in common" >whattheactualfuck.mp4 >he says heil hitler and lets me go with no punishments >mfw my teacher thought i was a nazi

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Anon gets a brand new phone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles >Haven't been there for a couple 83 KB JPG of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles >Haven't been there for a couple 83 KB JPG of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw

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Anon is Jeffrey Dahmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)14:48:18 No.62764167 >why did you beat up my boyfriend, anon? now I have to fight you to avenge him! 379 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)14:49:58 No.62764181 >>62764167 (OP) # >get down on my knees and bite off her labia shut up bitch
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)14:48:18 No.62764167 >why did you beat up my boyfriend, anon? now I have to fight you to avenge him! 379 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)14:49:58 No.62764181 >>62764167 (OP) # >get down on my knees and bite off her labia shut up bitch

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Anon has a mic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/19(Fri)22:21:18 No.466515790 >mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADO O000" >police sirens >dog barking
: Anonymous 06/14/19(Fri)22:21:18 No.466515790 >mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADO O000" >police sirens >dog barking

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Anon likes grapes | /r/Greentext

File: 88FE2E12-7B36-4472-A128-9(..).jpg (21 KB, 554x554) Today was a good day Grapes 03/19/21(Fri)18:48:37 No.62818681 ► >>62818710 >>62818718 >>62818956 >>62818998 >>62819074 >>be me >>beta virgin supermarket worker >>at work >> see grapes are on special, only $3.90 per kilogram >>end of shift go to grape section >>grapes are freshly delivered and put on show >>buy a bag of grapes >>later in the day eat grapes F--- yes, Lads! Things are finally starting to go my way
File: 88FE2E12-7B36-4472-A128-9(..).jpg (21 KB, 554x554) Today was a good day Grapes 03/19/21(Fri)18:48:37 No.62818681 ► >>62818710 >>62818718 >>62818956 >>62818998 >>62819074 >>be me >>beta virgin supermarket worker >>at work >> see grapes are on special, only $3.90 per kilogram >>end of shift go to grape section >>grapes are freshly delivered and put on show >>buy a bag of grapes >>later in the day eat grapes F--- yes, Lads! Things are finally starting to go my way

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Anon goes to Malta | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)10:25:02 No.849978910 >Be in Malta for vacation >Be 13 >Sister is 15 WHOA >Hear mom and dad talking about how most people over there are more perverted, and how they see grown men staring at little girls >Be walking in this plaza square place 136 KB JPG >Mom says she wants her photo taken >Sister pulls out phone, stands back to take picture in front of fountain >This places her by a bench with someone sitting on it >40 yr old guy stares at her ass >p--- pulls out phone and takes picture of her ass >I decide to step in > "What the f--- is your problem?!" > "She's literally 15, you sick pervert. You want to go to jail?!" >Dadon steps in >Dadon tells me to stop > "Anon, stop!" > Dadon grabs me and apologizes to perv > We get inside car and drive off > Dadon berates me on how I ruined the day >Tfw my father defends a literal p--- >Pic related
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)10:25:02 No.849978910 >Be in Malta for vacation >Be 13 >Sister is 15 WHOA >Hear mom and dad talking about how most people over there are more perverted, and how they see grown men staring at little girls >Be walking in this plaza square place 136 KB JPG >Mom says she wants her photo taken >Sister pulls out phone, stands back to take picture in front of fountain >This places her by a bench with someone sitting on it >40 yr old guy stares at her ass >p--- pulls out phone and takes picture of her ass >I decide to step in > "What the f--- is your problem?!" > "She's literally 15, you sick pervert. You want to go to jail?!" >Dadon steps in >Dadon tells me to stop > "Anon, stop!" > Dadon grabs me and apologizes to perv > We get inside car and drive off > Dadon berates me on how I ruined the day >Tfw my father defends a literal p--- >Pic related

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Anon's gf is nonbinary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)08:13:19 No.844801065 >gf of three years announces that she's nonbinary >demands to be called they/them, glares at every mislabeling of her gender >slowly deviates from feminine attire, dressing more and more "androgynous" Just about McFuckina had it 40 KB JPG >cuts hair super short >everything she enjoys now has something to do with the LGBT, and her entire personality has taken a shift >just recently told me she wants to be called "moss" as her enby name It's such a shift, and it keeps getting more and more extreme. I'm trying so hard to accept who she is, and I want to be supportive. Everyone told me she wouldn't change as a person, but she's just... Less attractive now. Both in personality and in looks. Am I an a------? I don't understand her change, and it's borderline cringe to me. 84 Replies / 7 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)08:13:19 No.844801065 >gf of three years announces that she's nonbinary >demands to be called they/them, glares at every mislabeling of her gender >slowly deviates from feminine attire, dressing more and more "androgynous" Just about McFuckina had it 40 KB JPG >cuts hair super short >everything she enjoys now has something to do with the LGBT, and her entire personality has taken a shift >just recently told me she wants to be called "moss" as her enby name It's such a shift, and it keeps getting more and more extreme. I'm trying so hard to accept who she is, and I want to be supportive. Everyone told me she wouldn't change as a person, but she's just... Less attractive now. Both in personality and in looks. Am I an a------? I don't understand her change, and it's borderline cringe to me. 84 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anon gets Mahjonged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)01:41:05 No.62815030 >talk with this girl on discord >we met on a /r9k/ thread >we message each other a lot over the next couple of days >starting to open up to her more >sister has to go to the hospital, so I help my parents watch her kids >didn't have much time to chat on discord I HAVE GIVEN 42 KB JPG (nephews grab my phone every chance they get), let her know why >she acts concerned and tells me its cool >l was ghosted before, so I didn't want her to think that I wasn't interested in her anymore >four days later, finally have free time, message her >no response >no big deal, maybe she's busy with work >two days later, send her another message >"hey, hadn't heard from you in a while, you doing good?" >no response >hear back from her >tells me she wants to meet at the park >go there, see no one there >get hit from behind and knocked to the ground >turn around, culprit is an elderly Chinese man >ohfuckno.jpg >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat him or he will banish me to the land of the Yi (the term for barbarians) forever
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)01:41:05 No.62815030 >talk with this girl on discord >we met on a /r9k/ thread >we message each other a lot over the next couple of days >starting to open up to her more >sister has to go to the hospital, so I help my parents watch her kids >didn't have much time to chat on discord I HAVE GIVEN 42 KB JPG (nephews grab my phone every chance they get), let her know why >she acts concerned and tells me its cool >l was ghosted before, so I didn't want her to think that I wasn't interested in her anymore >four days later, finally have free time, message her >no response >no big deal, maybe she's busy with work >two days later, send her another message >"hey, hadn't heard from you in a while, you doing good?" >no response >hear back from her >tells me she wants to meet at the park >go there, see no one there >get hit from behind and knocked to the ground >turn around, culprit is an elderly Chinese man >ohfuckno.jpg >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat him or he will banish me to the land of the Yi (the term for barbarians) forever

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Anon has Layers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/13(Thu)23:48 No.183046917 ! File: 1364528896218.jpg-(4 KB, 150x156, 135405779949.jpg) >Today's the big day. I'll be getting my driver's license if I pass my driving test. >At the DMV, waiting in my car for the driving instructor to come. >Listening to Smash Mouth CD. >Driving instructor comes in, turns off the cd player saying l'm not allowed to listen to music while doing the driving test. >l tell her I have to be listening to Smash Mouth because it's my lucky charm. >She doesn't give a f---, doesn't let me turn it back on. >Start driving test >Making a lot of f------ mistakes, my heart is pounding because I don't want to fail >Time to parallel park >Look in my rear view mirror >See two green ears >Smell onions >Hear "I'm a Believer" start to play even though I didn't turn on the CD player >Driving instructor gives me a look, begins to write that I've failed the driving test on her clipboard >Suddenly a large green hand yanks the clipboards from her grip >A deep Sottish accent says "This test is now ogre" >l get an erection >Shrek gets out of the car, grabs the driving instructor and begins to beat her with an onion >Shrek runs off into the distance >some time passes, I drive the bitch back to the DMV >l ended up passing my test and now I'm a school bus driver.
Anonymous 03/28/13(Thu)23:48 No.183046917 ! File: 1364528896218.jpg-(4 KB, 150x156, 135405779949.jpg) >Today's the big day. I'll be getting my driver's license if I pass my driving test. >At the DMV, waiting in my car for the driving instructor to come. >Listening to Smash Mouth CD. >Driving instructor comes in, turns off the cd player saying l'm not allowed to listen to music while doing the driving test. >l tell her I have to be listening to Smash Mouth because it's my lucky charm. >She doesn't give a f---, doesn't let me turn it back on. >Start driving test >Making a lot of f------ mistakes, my heart is pounding because I don't want to fail >Time to parallel park >Look in my rear view mirror >See two green ears >Smell onions >Hear "I'm a Believer" start to play even though I didn't turn on the CD player >Driving instructor gives me a look, begins to write that I've failed the driving test on her clipboard >Suddenly a large green hand yanks the clipboards from her grip >A deep Sottish accent says "This test is now ogre" >l get an erection >Shrek gets out of the car, grabs the driving instructor and begins to beat her with an onion >Shrek runs off into the distance >some time passes, I drive the bitch back to the DMV >l ended up passing my test and now I'm a school bus driver.

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Anon is a joo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)05:28:46 No.62814426 >be me >look at myself in the mirror >i notice i have a hook nose >my parents dont >i ask my dad about it >you are old enough to be told the truth anon. you are adopted. your 96 KB JPG parents were jewish and died when you were a month old. >im a joo >first think i do is ask dad where the shekels are and how i can now contribute to the judas plan >dad tells me the judas plan isnt real >no shekels for me
: Anonymous 03/19/21(Fri)05:28:46 No.62814426 >be me >look at myself in the mirror >i notice i have a hook nose >my parents dont >i ask my dad about it >you are old enough to be told the truth anon. you are adopted. your 96 KB JPG parents were jewish and died when you were a month old. >im a joo >first think i do is ask dad where the shekels are and how i can now contribute to the judas plan >dad tells me the judas plan isnt real >no shekels for me

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Anon works in a foundry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SOBGN6J+ 03/19/21(Fri)09:29:03 No.31347220 >work in foundry >only good paying job left in town >half of the shift is in cooling station because molten metal is so hot >union head gets dummy son job as foreman >he's nearly killed people breaking safety rules >he tries to rush an important job and didn't heat steel enough to form properly >this needs to be fixed ASAP >but we're out of the fancy coal that burns hot enough >foreman says he's got this >comes back 45 minutes later >borrowed kerosene truck from friend at airport >puts that on the air intake line in the furnace >runs it until the tank is empty >didn't melt the ingots at all >we're still f----- >but dummy foreman learned something important >jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams >>31347266 # >>31347337 # >>31347672 # >>31347916 # >>31348226 # >>31349445 #
: Anonymous (ID: SOBGN6J+ 03/19/21(Fri)09:29:03 No.31347220 >work in foundry >only good paying job left in town >half of the shift is in cooling station because molten metal is so hot >union head gets dummy son job as foreman >he's nearly killed people breaking safety rules >he tries to rush an important job and didn't heat steel enough to form properly >this needs to be fixed ASAP >but we're out of the fancy coal that burns hot enough >foreman says he's got this >comes back 45 minutes later >borrowed kerosene truck from friend at airport >puts that on the air intake line in the furnace >runs it until the tank is empty >didn't melt the ingots at all >we're still f----- >but dummy foreman learned something important >jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams >>31347266 # >>31347337 # >>31347672 # >>31347916 # >>31348226 # >>31349445 #

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We can trust anon | /r/Greentext

>The scientific/medical community is compromised >Academia is pozzed >Trust me I just know these things, even though l'm a rural hick living in my mom's trailer and barely got my GED
>The scientific/medical community is compromised >Academia is pozzed >Trust me I just know these things, even though l'm a rural hick living in my mom's trailer and barely got my GED

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Anon is good at greentexts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)21:29:25 No.849935933 >be me >reddit f-- >get PM from poplar dude on subreddit greentexts >mess around in dms >write fake greentext cuz why not >tells me l'm good at it >feelsgoodman.jpg| 8 KB JPG >wait >if I'm good at writing greentext than I have retard syndrome mfw I'm told i should go post on 4chan
: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)21:29:25 No.849935933 >be me >reddit f-- >get PM from poplar dude on subreddit greentexts >mess around in dms >write fake greentext cuz why not >tells me l'm good at it >feelsgoodman.jpg| 8 KB JPG >wait >if I'm good at writing greentext than I have retard syndrome mfw I'm told i should go post on 4chan

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Anon is a Sexual Predator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)17:53:05 No.46362460 I f----- everything up, robots. I think I might kms now >Cousin (female) staysat my home for a few days >Last night she stayed, be horny af 70 KB JPG >We slept in the same bed >Groped her while she was asleep >Everything is cool next day >A few hours after she left >"Anon, we gotta talk" >"What you did to me in the morning, never do it again" >fuckfuckfuck >Try to act like idkwtf she's talking about >Leaves me on seen What can I do anons? Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)17:53:05 No.46362460 I f----- everything up, robots. I think I might kms now >Cousin (female) staysat my home for a few days >Last night she stayed, be horny af 70 KB JPG >We slept in the same bed >Groped her while she was asleep >Everything is cool next day >A few hours after she left >"Anon, we gotta talk" >"What you did to me in the morning, never do it again" >fuckfuckfuck >Try to act like idkwtf she's talking about >Leaves me on seen What can I do anons? Pic unrelated

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Anon likes tendies tuesdays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)23:36:10 No.849927462 >Tendies Tuesday >be me 500 pound mommy's special boy >wake up after a long night of hentai binge watching to the smell of those delicious treats imstarving.wav >wiggle myself out of bed only knocking 1 piss bottle 225 КВ PNG >bed leg cracks and breaks from all the Good Boy Points that I carry >try to find the least full piss bottle >start pissing but it gets full and starts falling on the ground idgaf.jpg >clean my piss with my sister's panties that ive been c------ to for a year now >scream "TENDIES TUESDAY" over and over again as i slide myself down the stairs >kitchen is near >i can feel the tendies near >take my deserved breaks after walking two steps >trip on the carpet and fall through the hardfloor onto the basement >clear the debris off me >this is not keeping this good boy from his tendies >manage to get myself up after trying for 20 minutes >climb the basement stairs while sweating all the mountain dew from my body >kick the door screaming "MOMMY WHERE ARE MY TENDIES?" >bitch doesn't answer REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.mp3 >manage to get to the kitchen after 1 hour >see a paper note from mommy saying goodbye next to a plate of the beloved tendies >feast my tendies like a vaccum in 2 seconds >see mommy sleeping in the tub with a bunch of skittles all over the floor >let her sleep for 3 days so i can get more Good Boy Points for more tendies
: Anonymous 03/18/21(Thu)23:36:10 No.849927462 >Tendies Tuesday >be me 500 pound mommy's special boy >wake up after a long night of hentai binge watching to the smell of those delicious treats imstarving.wav >wiggle myself out of bed only knocking 1 piss bottle 225 КВ PNG >bed leg cracks and breaks from all the Good Boy Points that I carry >try to find the least full piss bottle >start pissing but it gets full and starts falling on the ground idgaf.jpg >clean my piss with my sister's panties that ive been c------ to for a year now >scream "TENDIES TUESDAY" over and over again as i slide myself down the stairs >kitchen is near >i can feel the tendies near >take my deserved breaks after walking two steps >trip on the carpet and fall through the hardfloor onto the basement >clear the debris off me >this is not keeping this good boy from his tendies >manage to get myself up after trying for 20 minutes >climb the basement stairs while sweating all the mountain dew from my body >kick the door screaming "MOMMY WHERE ARE MY TENDIES?" >bitch doesn't answer REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.mp3 >manage to get to the kitchen after 1 hour >see a paper note from mommy saying goodbye next to a plate of the beloved tendies >feast my tendies like a vaccum in 2 seconds >see mommy sleeping in the tub with a bunch of skittles all over the floor >let her sleep for 3 days so i can get more Good Boy Points for more tendies

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