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Anon loves his cat | /r/Greentext

>be me >depressed anorexic >cut and starve almost every day >family knows about the starving but not the cutting >they don't care anyway lol >mom makes a negative comment 1.58 MB JPG about my body >make sewer slide plan >while I'm setting things up my cat starts meowing at me for food >sigh and feed her one last time, give her goodbye pets >she keeps headbutting me because she loves me >realize that if I'm dead i can't give her the love she deserves >start sobbing uncontrollably bc I love my cat with my whole heart >decide not to kms >realize that with the way I'm treating my body i could quite possibly die on accident >tell my mom about my problems >start getting help and meds >my cat saved my life >pic related
>be me >depressed anorexic >cut and starve almost every day >family knows about the starving but not the cutting >they don't care anyway lol >mom makes a negative comment 1.58 MB JPG about my body >make sewer slide plan >while I'm setting things up my cat starts meowing at me for food >sigh and feed her one last time, give her goodbye pets >she keeps headbutting me because she loves me >realize that if I'm dead i can't give her the love she deserves >start sobbing uncontrollably bc I love my cat with my whole heart >decide not to kms >realize that with the way I'm treating my body i could quite possibly die on accident >tell my mom about my problems >start getting help and meds >my cat saved my life >pic related

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Anon likes plants | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)19:53:39 No.62777589 tfw autismo >Be the start of COVID >Start getting into plants because inside all day >Have a few special plants I like >Fast forwards to Christmas, home for the holidays >Showing my family pics of the rare plants I have that look kinda 195 KB PNG nice now >Telling my mom about one plant while she's doing some s--- idk >She stops what she's doing and looks at me the way you'd look at a 5 year old showing you their rock collection >In this moment I realize my family think I'm retarded >Have since been afraid to express interests to other people or really talk to them in general >Daily reminder that I am a burden on those around me Anyone else experience this feel? How do you cope with knowing/thinking that people just wish you would stop talking every time you start?
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)19:53:39 No.62777589 tfw autismo >Be the start of COVID >Start getting into plants because inside all day >Have a few special plants I like >Fast forwards to Christmas, home for the holidays >Showing my family pics of the rare plants I have that look kinda 195 KB PNG nice now >Telling my mom about one plant while she's doing some s--- idk >She stops what she's doing and looks at me the way you'd look at a 5 year old showing you their rock collection >In this moment I realize my family think I'm retarded >Have since been afraid to express interests to other people or really talk to them in general >Daily reminder that I am a burden on those around me Anyone else experience this feel? How do you cope with knowing/thinking that people just wish you would stop talking every time you start?

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Fat Albert dream | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a black neighbor | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a player | /r/Greentext

>Mfw I realize life is literally like an RPG. >People treat you differently depending on your race/class. >Each race has advantages and disadvantages. >Get XP by learning things through 46 KB JPG books. >lf you commit a crime in a town or city you will spend time in jail/prison. >Tfw only one save.
>Mfw I realize life is literally like an RPG. >People treat you differently depending on your race/class. >Each race has advantages and disadvantages. >Get XP by learning things through 46 KB JPG books. >lf you commit a crime in a town or city you will spend time in jail/prison. >Tfw only one save.

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Anon ruins neighbors life | /r/Greentext

Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago >live next to roastie This isn't even my final form, 148 KB PNG >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >I try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES!!! YES! F--- MY ASS!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it
Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago >live next to roastie This isn't even my final form, 148 KB PNG >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >I try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES!!! YES! F--- MY ASS!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it

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Anon is a superhero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG
: Anonymous 06/18/18(Mon)18:23:03 No.46191575 >finally tell mom im a superhero >bitch doesnt believe me >shoot my web on her >grounded >mfw 9 KB PNG

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Anon watches South Park | /r/Greentext

> Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. Cartman you dumbass TOu know nothing about Women I know enough To explolt it 113 KB JPG > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?
> Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. Cartman you dumbass TOu know nothing about Women I know enough To explolt it 113 KB JPG > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?

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Law of conservation of momentum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:40:43 No.849619464 >f------ wife up ass >about ready to c-- >she farts on my balls So disrespectful Tolerance 0% 246 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:40:43 No.849619464 >f------ wife up ass >about ready to c-- >she farts on my balls So disrespectful Tolerance 0% 246 KB PNG

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Anon can't even simp correctly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/20(Tue)20:22:42 No.58239841 >girl from high school posts cashapp on snapchat >"cashapp me i'm so broke lol" >decide to be nice and send her $10 >ассеpts it >get blocked 14 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/19/20(Tue)20:22:42 No.58239841 >girl from high school posts cashapp on snapchat >"cashapp me i'm so broke lol" >decide to be nice and send her $10 >ассеpts it >get blocked 14 KB JPG

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Anon misses out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)05:04:37 No.62595863 Sprayerhead GF KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSK SKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKKSKss KŚKSKSKSKSKS KSSKSKSKSKSK Screenshot 20210301-080252_Facebook.jpg 239 KB JPG >tfw no sprayerhead gf
: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)05:04:37 No.62595863 Sprayerhead GF KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKS KSKSKSKSKSK SKSKSKSKSKS KSKSKKSKss KŚKSKSKSKSKS KSSKSKSKSKSK Screenshot 20210301-080252_Facebook.jpg 239 KB JPG >tfw no sprayerhead gf

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Anon converts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)15:18:07 No.62780438 >be me >Get VR headset >Download VR chat >Get a counter strike terrorist avatar >Go in furry and weeb servers and LARP as a Muslim/Jihadist 184 KB PNG >Get called out a couple of times for not being a Muslim >Watch some videos on islam, learn a bit of basic arabic, listen to Muslim music >Also read Koran so I could recite various passages >Pretty good read >My jihad larping abilities improve quite a bit >Eventually visit a local mosque >People there are very welcoming, expirence was quite calming and I felt very good afterwards >Want to go back again this weekend What's going on guys. My parents aren't religious and I've been an atheist my whole life. What do I do?
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)15:18:07 No.62780438 >be me >Get VR headset >Download VR chat >Get a counter strike terrorist avatar >Go in furry and weeb servers and LARP as a Muslim/Jihadist 184 KB PNG >Get called out a couple of times for not being a Muslim >Watch some videos on islam, learn a bit of basic arabic, listen to Muslim music >Also read Koran so I could recite various passages >Pretty good read >My jihad larping abilities improve quite a bit >Eventually visit a local mosque >People there are very welcoming, expirence was quite calming and I felt very good afterwards >Want to go back again this weekend What's going on guys. My parents aren't religious and I've been an atheist my whole life. What do I do?

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Anon invests | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)22:23:28 No.849767512 >be me >notice people dont even use computers >make an operating system >spend my profits on people making a better operating system >opened programs look like 25 KB JPG windows >name it windows >become a billionaire >i have enough money to end world hunger >dont end world hunger >create a virus instead
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)22:23:28 No.849767512 >be me >notice people dont even use computers >make an operating system >spend my profits on people making a better operating system >opened programs look like 25 KB JPG windows >name it windows >become a billionaire >i have enough money to end world hunger >dont end world hunger >create a virus instead

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Anon is grateful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Gratitude Thread 03/05/21(Fri)10:07:09 No.62610856 Let's have a gratitude thread. Post all the things you are grateful for >Not a manlet >Not poor >Not balding 967 KB PNG >Not Indian : Anonymous 03/05/21(Fri)10:08:29 No.62610862 >be white >be rich >have a dad that loves me : Anonymous 03/05/21(Fri)10:08:53 No.62610870 >mom still in good health >dad still in good health >both are gainfully employed >we still have a roof over our heads, the basic necessities and 1st world creature comforts >still have a full head of beautiful luscious hair Life could be a lot worse. Gratitude is important.
: Anonymous Gratitude Thread 03/05/21(Fri)10:07:09 No.62610856 Let's have a gratitude thread. Post all the things you are grateful for >Not a manlet >Not poor >Not balding 967 KB PNG >Not Indian : Anonymous 03/05/21(Fri)10:08:29 No.62610862 >be white >be rich >have a dad that loves me : Anonymous 03/05/21(Fri)10:08:53 No.62610870 >mom still in good health >dad still in good health >both are gainfully employed >we still have a roof over our heads, the basic necessities and 1st world creature comforts >still have a full head of beautiful luscious hair Life could be a lot worse. Gratitude is important.

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Anon uses up his phone credit. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:11:56 No.62775126 >a few months away from graduating uni >got a phone interview with a massive company to work as a junior software developer >starting pay is 40k which is way above average pay in my country from a graduate role >told mom who was really excited 54 KB PNG >she told everyone in my family >fast foward to today >try calling from my computer >for some reason it isn't working even though it was working fine last night >"no problem, l'Il just call from my phone instead." >start interview >it's going really well, can answer all of the questions flawlessly, interviewer is laughing at my jokes etc etc >4/5ths into the interview >phone cuts off >try calling back >"Sorry, you have exceeded your monthly phone credit" >send email to interviewer apologising and explaining what happened >"sorry anon, we've decided to move forward with different applicants" >told mom >she screamed at me and called me a f------ retard daily reminder that the worst day of your life has not yet arrived.
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:11:56 No.62775126 >a few months away from graduating uni >got a phone interview with a massive company to work as a junior software developer >starting pay is 40k which is way above average pay in my country from a graduate role >told mom who was really excited 54 KB PNG >she told everyone in my family >fast foward to today >try calling from my computer >for some reason it isn't working even though it was working fine last night >"no problem, l'Il just call from my phone instead." >start interview >it's going really well, can answer all of the questions flawlessly, interviewer is laughing at my jokes etc etc >4/5ths into the interview >phone cuts off >try calling back >"Sorry, you have exceeded your monthly phone credit" >send email to interviewer apologising and explaining what happened >"sorry anon, we've decided to move forward with different applicants" >told mom >she screamed at me and called me a f------ retard daily reminder that the worst day of your life has not yet arrived.

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Anon likes the smell of new cars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/2021(So.)16:46:05 No.849582310 Tard stories time. >at car dealership with dad >f------ around in the model cars >in drivers seat TER L AM >tard enters back seat >tard screeches "EEEE" >w--.jpg >I turn around >"Eee?" >Tard responds in the affirmative >"EEEE!" >tard grunts >he s--- his pants in the new car >his dad opens the door >"hey buddy how- OH GOD DAMMIT DAVID AGAIN?!" >dad got me McDonald's on the way home
Anonymous 03/14/2021(So.)16:46:05 No.849582310 Tard stories time. >at car dealership with dad >f------ around in the model cars >in drivers seat TER L AM >tard enters back seat >tard screeches "EEEE" >w--.jpg >I turn around >"Eee?" >Tard responds in the affirmative >"EEEE!" >tard grunts >he s--- his pants in the new car >his dad opens the door >"hey buddy how- OH GOD DAMMIT DAVID AGAIN?!" >dad got me McDonald's on the way home

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Anons bad trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)09:37:11 No.840736170 >be me >16 >take acid with drug dealers I knew >drug dealers say that their cousin is on his way because they haven't seen him in 137 KB JPG a while >surewhynot.exe >about an hour later and i'm really tripping balls >cousin walks in with a helmet on >he is severely f------ retarded >cousin starts talking to me about how he got a new pogo stick and how has been practicing and asks me if I want to see him hop around outside >l'm sweating, tripping balls and a retarded kid just asked me if I want to watch him bounce around on a pogo stick >he gets really close to me and keeps asking me over and over if I want to see him bounce on his pogo stick >for some reason I start to convince myself that i'm retarded >bad trip starts up >ohnoimretardedandimgoingtodie >asks me to watch him go on his pogo stick again >his downy face morphs into a demon >get scared >punch him as hard as I can in his face >he starts squealing and rolling around the floor >l feel the deepest terror I have in my entire life >run out of the apartment all the way home >hide under my blanket for hours crying because I thought that a demon had cursed me and turned me retarded
: Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)09:37:11 No.840736170 >be me >16 >take acid with drug dealers I knew >drug dealers say that their cousin is on his way because they haven't seen him in 137 KB JPG a while >surewhynot.exe >about an hour later and i'm really tripping balls >cousin walks in with a helmet on >he is severely f------ retarded >cousin starts talking to me about how he got a new pogo stick and how has been practicing and asks me if I want to see him hop around outside >l'm sweating, tripping balls and a retarded kid just asked me if I want to watch him bounce around on a pogo stick >he gets really close to me and keeps asking me over and over if I want to see him bounce on his pogo stick >for some reason I start to convince myself that i'm retarded >bad trip starts up >ohnoimretardedandimgoingtodie >asks me to watch him go on his pogo stick again >his downy face morphs into a demon >get scared >punch him as hard as I can in his face >he starts squealing and rolling around the floor >l feel the deepest terror I have in my entire life >run out of the apartment all the way home >hide under my blanket for hours crying because I thought that a demon had cursed me and turned me retarded

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Anon's mom is honest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)06:23:14 No.62773079 >tfw the only persons who say I was handsome were my mom and little kids Why ut's difficult to find someone of my age 21 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)06:25:43 No.62773097 At least you have somebody to say you're handsome. I'm so ugly even my mom doesn't lie to me about my deformities.
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)06:23:14 No.62773079 >tfw the only persons who say I was handsome were my mom and little kids Why ut's difficult to find someone of my age 21 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)06:25:43 No.62773097 At least you have somebody to say you're handsome. I'm so ugly even my mom doesn't lie to me about my deformities.

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Anon has experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/19(Wed)14:17:06 No.52095217 >unclasp girls bra behind her back >she assumes i have a lot of experience with women >its actually because i used to cross dress 22 KB PNG who /devilish/ here View Thread
: Anonymous 04/24/19(Wed)14:17:06 No.52095217 >unclasp girls bra behind her back >she assumes i have a lot of experience with women >its actually because i used to cross dress 22 KB PNG who /devilish/ here View Thread

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Anon gets a bonsai tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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