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Anon does meth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)07:16:13 No.848279473 >orderd really good darkweb meth >1 day of being high + 2 days at a hotel by myself >went full paranoid schizo the 2nd day, couldnt help but think some1 going to bust in my room, 95 KB JPG >3rd day, super tired, got high even more, hallucinated about showering w/ another guy, turned out it was real except i was talking to myself >f----- myself anally w/ 2 dildos, one monster chode and a 14" >mind melting orgasm, coom'd a stream w/ my 15mm shrink d--- >high gets even more intense, eyes are pitch black >realized my shower dream was actually real & it only 30min has passed >freaked out and call my gf to take me home Think i'm done with meth for now... I can't believe I lost my mind. I know the hotel neighbors had to have heard me, like 2 families with kids. Pretty sure they heard me accidentally blast p---- really loud in the middle of the night and heard me moaning/talking hard in the shower. LOL.
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)07:16:13 No.848279473 >orderd really good darkweb meth >1 day of being high + 2 days at a hotel by myself >went full paranoid schizo the 2nd day, couldnt help but think some1 going to bust in my room, 95 KB JPG >3rd day, super tired, got high even more, hallucinated about showering w/ another guy, turned out it was real except i was talking to myself >f----- myself anally w/ 2 dildos, one monster chode and a 14" >mind melting orgasm, coom'd a stream w/ my 15mm shrink d--- >high gets even more intense, eyes are pitch black >realized my shower dream was actually real & it only 30min has passed >freaked out and call my gf to take me home Think i'm done with meth for now... I can't believe I lost my mind. I know the hotel neighbors had to have heard me, like 2 families with kids. Pretty sure they heard me accidentally blast p---- really loud in the middle of the night and heard me moaning/talking hard in the shower. LOL.

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Anons take on modern solutions | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)10:11:40 No.848262376 >find a phone in the uni bathroom >requires Face ID to unlock >throw it in the toilet 645 KB PNG
E Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)10:11:40 No.848262376 >find a phone in the uni bathroom >requires Face ID to unlock >throw it in the toilet 645 KB PNG

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Anon LARPS as driver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Times you acted like the drive(...) 02/25/21(Thu)20:45:21 No.147168561 >Buy a 500 toothpick bag at the, some antifreeze and gloves at the gas station >Cashier girl asks 'would you like a bag?' after l've paid >Stare her down until I walk out 23 KB JPG >Circle the block a few times >Walk back in >Walk up to her ..sure' I'M GIVING YOU A NIGHT CALL
: Anonymous Times you acted like the drive(...) 02/25/21(Thu)20:45:21 No.147168561 >Buy a 500 toothpick bag at the, some antifreeze and gloves at the gas station >Cashier girl asks 'would you like a bag?' after l've paid >Stare her down until I walk out 23 KB JPG >Circle the block a few times >Walk back in >Walk up to her ..sure' I'M GIVING YOU A NIGHT CALL

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Anon is thrilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:59:05 No.848296090 >be me >movie theater, 2018 >going with some friends to see the latest action movie >on the walk in, i see some really sketchy guy hanging around the entrance >put it in the back of my mind, it's 375 KB JPG probably nothing >grab our snacks and sit down for the previews >about a minute after we sit down, the lights get killed suddenly whatthefuck.jpg >the screen goes red >i see the guy from outside walk in front of the screen >everyone is s------- themselves, friends are flipping out >this m----------- starts dancing while zombies start eating people >they've got the funk of 40,000 years on them >rip the arm off my chair and start beating these undead f---- >fighting for my life inside a >killer >thriller >toniiiight
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:59:05 No.848296090 >be me >movie theater, 2018 >going with some friends to see the latest action movie >on the walk in, i see some really sketchy guy hanging around the entrance >put it in the back of my mind, it's 375 KB JPG probably nothing >grab our snacks and sit down for the previews >about a minute after we sit down, the lights get killed suddenly whatthefuck.jpg >the screen goes red >i see the guy from outside walk in front of the screen >everyone is s------- themselves, friends are flipping out >this m----------- starts dancing while zombies start eating people >they've got the funk of 40,000 years on them >rip the arm off my chair and start beating these undead f---- >fighting for my life inside a >killer >thriller >toniiiight

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Anon is tired | /r/Greentext

>be 16 yo me >things getting sexy with boyfriend >really have to pee but things are so in the moment >start f------ like normal >at one point he's angled really far up against my bladder >one strong thrust and a short burst of piss comes out >he thinks he made me squirt and tries to do it every time because he thinks it's hot >5 years later meet qt boy, get along really well >around 3 months into dating he asks if i've ever squirted >"Uhhhh yeah my ex used to angle himself really far forward" >he spends like 40 mins trying the "come hither motion" >still don't know how to not be weird, i know i should just say it's just piss >eventually I just piss hard in intervals for a few seconds >now he almost exclusively fingers me and never actually f---- me because "he's into pleasuring me" this has been going on for almost a year. I'm so f------ tired of washing towels and bedsheets every day or two. I feel bad about lying but I didn't think it would go this far. He never touches my clit
>be 16 yo me >things getting sexy with boyfriend >really have to pee but things are so in the moment >start f------ like normal >at one point he's angled really far up against my bladder >one strong thrust and a short burst of piss comes out >he thinks he made me squirt and tries to do it every time because he thinks it's hot >5 years later meet qt boy, get along really well >around 3 months into dating he asks if i've ever squirted >"Uhhhh yeah my ex used to angle himself really far forward" >he spends like 40 mins trying the "come hither motion" >still don't know how to not be weird, i know i should just say it's just piss >eventually I just piss hard in intervals for a few seconds >now he almost exclusively fingers me and never actually f---- me because "he's into pleasuring me" this has been going on for almost a year. I'm so f------ tired of washing towels and bedsheets every day or two. I feel bad about lying but I didn't think it would go this far. He never touches my clit

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Anon is jacked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:15:13 No.60042703 >am jacked >tell everyone who asks I don't work out 13 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:15:13 No.60042703 >am jacked >tell everyone who asks I don't work out 13 KB JPG

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Anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0

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Anon buys a pc | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 848321259 32 min. ago •.. >Be me >Buy a pc for 1500 dollars >the pc is loud > be sad > my mouse stops working > go to an online store to buy a mouse > see an ad for better pc that cost less > pic related > 24.8 kB PNG
Anonymous | 848321259 32 min. ago •.. >Be me >Buy a pc for 1500 dollars >the pc is loud > be sad > my mouse stops working > go to an online store to buy a mouse > see an ad for better pc that cost less > pic related > 24.8 kB PNG

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Anon cucks himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:25:37 No.62500114 坂 >Was just having it on with a girl >Get hard YO, YO, YO, WHERE THE PINK NIPPLED BITCHES AT? >Go to put condom on >Get soft >She wanks me until hard again >Put on another condom 323 KB PNG >Get soft again Literally want to kill myself, what the f--- do I do? O ggg
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)22:25:37 No.62500114 坂 >Was just having it on with a girl >Get hard YO, YO, YO, WHERE THE PINK NIPPLED BITCHES AT? >Go to put condom on >Get soft >She wanks me until hard again >Put on another condom 323 KB PNG >Get soft again Literally want to kill myself, what the f--- do I do? O ggg

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Anon is bored | /r/Greentext

13h (2/24 22:49) · 62479958 2 Re 1 Img JPG 56KB (720 x 483) 2 Replies ได้โปรดรักฉัน >Bored >J------- >Dopamine RUUUUUUSH >Nut >Immediately go back to hating women
13h (2/24 22:49) · 62479958 2 Re 1 Img JPG 56KB (720 x 483) 2 Replies ได้โปรดรักฉัน >Bored >J------- >Dopamine RUUUUUUSH >Nut >Immediately go back to hating women

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Anon get political | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:41:01 No.848314238 >no $15 minimum wage >no $2,000 checks >already bombing Syria >gas prices rising heavily across the country >f------ up border security >trying to tie anyone who disagrees with them to some boomers who broke some s--- in the Capitol building and using it as justification for Bush era 383 KB JPG level s--- >new covid strains popping up everywhere Why did democrats tell us this guy was our hero again?
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:41:01 No.848314238 >no $15 minimum wage >no $2,000 checks >already bombing Syria >gas prices rising heavily across the country >f------ up border security >trying to tie anyone who disagrees with them to some boomers who broke some s--- in the Capitol building and using it as justification for Bush era 383 KB JPG level s--- >new covid strains popping up everywhere Why did democrats tell us this guy was our hero again?

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Restrictor plate | /r/Greentext

File: FAC3BF04-8D0A-476A-A405-C(...).jpg (34 KB, 300x405) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)18:50:53 No.60045845 [Reply] I think I've found a way around my 'tism lads. I'm good looking (thanks mum) and ripped (thanks to you) but I would always mess everything up by talking about autistic s--- and going on rants. Now I just don't talk and it f------ works every time, girls are all over it. Example >l'm in a group we're sitting at a nice bar and I really like the concrete terraces they have set up so I stare at them >girls asks "why so quiet anon, what are you looking at" >normally I would respond something autistic like "those balconies, there's something brutalist about them, can you imagine the concrete covered in vines," etc and freak her out >this time I responded "I don't know, I just like the balcony I guess" >and then she was the one that kept the conversation going >kept all responses equally vague and simple >got laid for the third time this month I recommend trying this method out my fellow autismo anons
File: FAC3BF04-8D0A-476A-A405-C(...).jpg (34 KB, 300x405) O Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)18:50:53 No.60045845 [Reply] I think I've found a way around my 'tism lads. I'm good looking (thanks mum) and ripped (thanks to you) but I would always mess everything up by talking about autistic s--- and going on rants. Now I just don't talk and it f------ works every time, girls are all over it. Example >l'm in a group we're sitting at a nice bar and I really like the concrete terraces they have set up so I stare at them >girls asks "why so quiet anon, what are you looking at" >normally I would respond something autistic like "those balconies, there's something brutalist about them, can you imagine the concrete covered in vines," etc and freak her out >this time I responded "I don't know, I just like the balcony I guess" >and then she was the one that kept the conversation going >kept all responses equally vague and simple >got laid for the third time this month I recommend trying this method out my fellow autismo anons

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Anon's mother makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

File: 1598426557588.jpg (115 KB, 412x400) O Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:28:52 No.62503027 [Reply] ► >mom found the c-- cockroaches >> Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:30:40 No.62503039 ► What in the goddamn..?
File: 1598426557588.jpg (115 KB, 412x400) O Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:28:52 No.62503027 [Reply] ► >mom found the c-- cockroaches >> Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:30:40 No.62503039 ► What in the goddamn..?

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anon is stupid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/21 (Mon)23:51:50 No.848073272 > be me > use my teeth to open up 9 volt batteries > Permanent brain damage and learning issues Ask me anything /b/. Don't chew open batteries. 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/22/21 (Mon)23:51:50 No.848073272 > be me > use my teeth to open up 9 volt batteries > Permanent brain damage and learning issues Ask me anything /b/. Don't chew open batteries. 65 KB JPG

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Anon councred one of his demons. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)16:14:24 No.62494213 >just beat up my high school bully I've never felt better >at home because of 'rona-chan >walking to shops to buy some chicken breast for dinner 55 KB JPG >see bully >back in highschool he was athletic and I was fat, now l'm /fit/ and he's skinny fat >he says "Hey anon, how are you doing" >feel the blood rushing to my head >brain is scrambled with a hundred different thoughts >as I walk up to him I suddenly get the impulse to hit him as hard as I can >do it before I even realised what happens >he's on the floor out cold >spit on him and walk off >mfw eating the chicken breast right now probably going to get a visit from the police any day now but I don't give a f---
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)16:14:24 No.62494213 >just beat up my high school bully I've never felt better >at home because of 'rona-chan >walking to shops to buy some chicken breast for dinner 55 KB JPG >see bully >back in highschool he was athletic and I was fat, now l'm /fit/ and he's skinny fat >he says "Hey anon, how are you doing" >feel the blood rushing to my head >brain is scrambled with a hundred different thoughts >as I walk up to him I suddenly get the impulse to hit him as hard as I can >do it before I even realised what happens >he's on the floor out cold >spit on him and walk off >mfw eating the chicken breast right now probably going to get a visit from the police any day now but I don't give a f---

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Anon is skinny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21 (Thu)16:22:06 No.60043732 >be me >123lbs >6'1 what do? 404 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/25/21 (Thu)16:22:06 No.60043732 >be me >123lbs >6'1 what do? 404 KB PNG

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Anon cums in a facemask | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)03:02:59 No.848318125 >be me >about 15, horny as f--- >regular sunday, beating my meat >c-- >feelsgoodman.png >reach for tissue >don't have any 87 KB JPG >fuckfuckfuck >reach for one of those cloth masks >wipe up my seed. works well enough. >be next day. older sister getting ready for school, needs a mask and can't find it because the last time she used one was before the weekend >give her my c-- mask >she doesn't notice the whole day and gives it back to me when she gets home 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)03:08:07 No.848318370 >>848318125 (OP) # That is how babys are made! You are in big trouble!
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)03:02:59 No.848318125 >be me >about 15, horny as f--- >regular sunday, beating my meat >c-- >feelsgoodman.png >reach for tissue >don't have any 87 KB JPG >fuckfuckfuck >reach for one of those cloth masks >wipe up my seed. works well enough. >be next day. older sister getting ready for school, needs a mask and can't find it because the last time she used one was before the weekend >give her my c-- mask >she doesn't notice the whole day and gives it back to me when she gets home 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)03:08:07 No.848318370 >>848318125 (OP) # That is how babys are made! You are in big trouble!

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:28:11 No.848309936 >need muh hot bean water or my whole morning is f----- >need muh rotten grain water to have fun party time >need muh sour grape juice to unwind Do boomers actually? 129 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)00:28:11 No.848309936 >need muh hot bean water or my whole morning is f----- >need muh rotten grain water to have fun party time >need muh sour grape juice to unwind Do boomers actually? 129 KB JPG

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:56:20 No.62501023 >Be with girl >Can't get hard >J------- an hour later thinking about it >Rock hard What did they mean by this? 17 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:56:52 No.62501035 >>62501023 (OP) # Stop jacking off for 3 days and you're good >>62501196 #
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:56:20 No.62501023 >Be with girl >Can't get hard >J------- an hour later thinking about it >Rock hard What did they mean by this? 17 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)23:56:52 No.62501035 >>62501023 (OP) # Stop jacking off for 3 days and you're good >>62501196 #

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Anon missing social cues | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night
O Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

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