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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week
>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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anon is horny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/20(Mon)14:49:14 No.841216045 >Pandemic >Millions of QTs short on rent and food So why aren't you taking advantage of this /b? 70 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/30/20(Mon)14:49:59 No.841216095 Because I'm not a degenerate shitheel. >>841217081 #
: Anonymous 11/30/20(Mon)14:49:14 No.841216045 >Pandemic >Millions of QTs short on rent and food So why aren't you taking advantage of this /b? 70 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/30/20(Mon)14:49:59 No.841216095 Because I'm not a degenerate shitheel. >>841217081 #

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anon clicks a button | /r/Greentext

Greentext thread. >be me >in class >playing games on my computer cuz the teacher can't see my screen from her 162 KB JPG angle >go to an indie devs website >browsing his games when I find one about a button >its literally just a button with a message at the top saying "click the button 11 times to win!" >i click it >"click the button 10 times to win!" >l keep clicking it until I reach 11 clicks and then it says >"congratulations! you win!" >click button again >"You lose. Forever." >i click again >it doesnt change >i refresh the page >it doesnt change >i close the tab, delete my history and go back in incognito mode >it doesnt change
Greentext thread. >be me >in class >playing games on my computer cuz the teacher can't see my screen from her 162 KB JPG angle >go to an indie devs website >browsing his games when I find one about a button >its literally just a button with a message at the top saying "click the button 11 times to win!" >i click it >"click the button 10 times to win!" >l keep clicking it until I reach 11 clicks and then it says >"congratulations! you win!" >click button again >"You lose. Forever." >i click again >it doesnt change >i refresh the page >it doesnt change >i close the tab, delete my history and go back in incognito mode >it doesnt change

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Anon says “Later virgins” | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)21:25:10 No.790753828 >Girl looks at me >The image of me is now pulsing through her neurons >Technically am inside her >Later virgins 29 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)21:25:10 No.790753828 >Girl looks at me >The image of me is now pulsing through her neurons >Technically am inside her >Later virgins 29 KB JPG

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Anon goes through a phase | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)18:26:22 No.47414971 1524085735334.jpg 122 KB JPG >tfw had a general grievous phase when i was younger >would wrap a blanket around my shoulders like a cape while walking around hunched over coughing and doing the voice i-i wasn't the only one right?

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Anon got a compliment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)20:41:52 No.59973539 v 082 - xfcFWAG.png (879 KB, 680x778) google yandex iqdb wait >>59972433 (OP) >Be at work a few days ago >Walking to the cafeteria with a few co-workers >Female co-worker: "You can really tell whom works out by the way the work attire fits" >Me: What do you mean? >Her: Like you, the clothes fit so good like it's custom tailored, especially the shoulders. Still thinking about it.
Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)20:41:52 No.59973539 v 082 - xfcFWAG.png (879 KB, 680x778) google yandex iqdb wait >>59972433 (OP) >Be at work a few days ago >Walking to the cafeteria with a few co-workers >Female co-worker: "You can really tell whom works out by the way the work attire fits" >Me: What do you mean? >Her: Like you, the clothes fit so good like it's custom tailored, especially the shoulders. Still thinking about it.

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Anon praise italians | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/15/18(Fri)09:47:08 No.38254737 >>38254911 >>38254980 >>38257272 >>38259506 >>38259665 >>38259884 >>38259973 >>38260451 >>38261346 >>38261583 >>38261592 >>38261967 >>38261998 >>38262007 >>38262945 File: 174.photobucket.com album().jpg (55 KB, 640x480) Italians have always copied good inventions from other cultures and made them exceptional Beretta took Walther's designs and made them sexy. They discovered noodles from China, removed the dog, and created pasta. They stole the idea of arches from the Etruscans and built colleseums and aqueducts. They took the Gladius from the celt-iberians and conquered the world with it. They learned about sex from the Greeks and realized you could also have it with women. Etc.
Anonymous 06/15/18(Fri)09:47:08 No.38254737 >>38254911 >>38254980 >>38257272 >>38259506 >>38259665 >>38259884 >>38259973 >>38260451 >>38261346 >>38261583 >>38261592 >>38261967 >>38261998 >>38262007 >>38262945 File: 174.photobucket.com album().jpg (55 KB, 640x480) Italians have always copied good inventions from other cultures and made them exceptional Beretta took Walther's designs and made them sexy. They discovered noodles from China, removed the dog, and created pasta. They stole the idea of arches from the Etruscans and built colleseums and aqueducts. They took the Gladius from the celt-iberians and conquered the world with it. They learned about sex from the Greeks and realized you could also have it with women. Etc.

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Anon is a thief | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Mozarella Theft 02/21/21(Sun)08:31:21 No.62431240 >buy 4 blocks of mozarella cheese >go through self checkout >3 are fancy kind 1 >1 is low cost discount kind >ring up low cost discount kind 4 times 25 KB JPG >say goodbye to the nice security lady out front
: Anonymous Mozarella Theft 02/21/21(Sun)08:31:21 No.62431240 >buy 4 blocks of mozarella cheese >go through self checkout >3 are fancy kind 1 >1 is low cost discount kind >ring up low cost discount kind 4 times 25 KB JPG >say goodbye to the nice security lady out front

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Anon finally makes it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/18(Thu)16:49:15 No.44875069 >fap all around my neighborhood, in bushes, behind trees etc >get noticed several times >"Police are looking for a man aged 20-30, muscular build" 158 KB JPG >"muscular build" >ffw finally made it Tell me your success stories, bros
: Anonymous 02/22/18(Thu)16:49:15 No.44875069 >fap all around my neighborhood, in bushes, behind trees etc >get noticed several times >"Police are looking for a man aged 20-30, muscular build" 158 KB JPG >"muscular build" >ffw finally made it Tell me your success stories, bros

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what have you done | /r/Greentext

File: 1346384153922.jpg-(22 KB, 398x500, Thumbs_up_kid_big.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: Uw3JUTaa) 08/30/12(Thu)23:35:53 No.422259943 Time for a story, /b/ >Bring girlfriend home >No one else is there >Ask for a b------ >She give it >S--- is cash >uh oh >S--- is literal cash >start rocketing 50's out of my ass >Never stops >Nation wide inflation occurs >Thousands of families lose their jobs and homes >America loses its position as a super power >Russia sees our weakness >After 17 long years of war, America falls >Russia takes over, enstates communism >Because of communist laws, my girlfiend is entitled to a b------ >She begins s------- rubbles, 10,000 a second >inflation occurs again >Russian controlled America falls victim to widespread poverty >The cycle continues >mfw despite spiraling the world into chaos I still got head Anonymous (ID: 6timwWoF) 08/30/12(Thu)23:36:36 No.422260087 wat Anonymous (ID: 12TZNJ+A) 08/30/12(Thu)23:37:27 No.422260236 wat Anonymous (ID: FZIVPL9X) 08/30/12(Thu)23:38:04 No.422260347 wat
File: 1346384153922.jpg-(22 KB, 398x500, Thumbs_up_kid_big.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: Uw3JUTaa) 08/30/12(Thu)23:35:53 No.422259943 Time for a story, /b/ >Bring girlfriend home >No one else is there >Ask for a b------ >She give it >S--- is cash >uh oh >S--- is literal cash >start rocketing 50's out of my ass >Never stops >Nation wide inflation occurs >Thousands of families lose their jobs and homes >America loses its position as a super power >Russia sees our weakness >After 17 long years of war, America falls >Russia takes over, enstates communism >Because of communist laws, my girlfiend is entitled to a b------ >She begins s------- rubbles, 10,000 a second >inflation occurs again >Russian controlled America falls victim to widespread poverty >The cycle continues >mfw despite spiraling the world into chaos I still got head Anonymous (ID: 6timwWoF) 08/30/12(Thu)23:36:36 No.422260087 wat Anonymous (ID: 12TZNJ+A) 08/30/12(Thu)23:37:27 No.422260236 wat Anonymous (ID: FZIVPL9X) 08/30/12(Thu)23:38:04 No.422260347 wat

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Anon is sneaky | /r/Greentext

File: CD2A9086-BF36-4583-9397-6(...).jpg (10 KB, 300x250) O Anonymous 11/23/19(Sat)06:01:06 No.814682992 >be 22-year-old manchild >get new girlfriend >8/10 >f--- all the time >still play video games >still watch movies >still party with friends >dream life >i'm lovin' it >girlfriend allows it >but says things are gonna change once we have kids >three years go by >still living it up >girlfriend's getting impatient >wants to settle down >wants to seriously try for baby >f--- to our hearts' content >no pregnancies >girlfriend's frustrated as hell >breaks up with me >walks out door >devilish_smirk.jpg >mfw i got a vasectomy 2 years before we met
File: CD2A9086-BF36-4583-9397-6(...).jpg (10 KB, 300x250) O Anonymous 11/23/19(Sat)06:01:06 No.814682992 >be 22-year-old manchild >get new girlfriend >8/10 >f--- all the time >still play video games >still watch movies >still party with friends >dream life >i'm lovin' it >girlfriend allows it >but says things are gonna change once we have kids >three years go by >still living it up >girlfriend's getting impatient >wants to settle down >wants to seriously try for baby >f--- to our hearts' content >no pregnancies >girlfriend's frustrated as hell >breaks up with me >walks out door >devilish_smirk.jpg >mfw i got a vasectomy 2 years before we met

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Anon moves to Alabama | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.
Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.

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Anon tries lifting in the dark | /r/Greentext

F748910B-1FE5-408B-90AA-55E16AED1C16.jpg 1.92 MB JPG Anybody ever try lifting in the dark? My mom grounded me from the gym light because I'm always leaving it on; so I just haven't been using it. I don't even need to use the mirror anymore to know I have good form. Thread Theme: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p32b5 nNq1zw [Open] : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)20:46:53 No.55341825 Yeah, it's kinda based actually. What I do is pretend I'm Illidan and I was imprisoned by my brother, so to exact revenge I spend my time lifting so that I could go out and bang the s--- out of Tyrande. It's a little bit tough putting on the plates on and adjusting the safeties, but you get used to it. I like to turn on the Warcraft II OST on my bluetooth speaker and say his lines in-between my set. Makes me feel powerful and edgy. Malfurion can go f--- himself 7 KB JPG
F748910B-1FE5-408B-90AA-55E16AED1C16.jpg 1.92 MB JPG Anybody ever try lifting in the dark? My mom grounded me from the gym light because I'm always leaving it on; so I just haven't been using it. I don't even need to use the mirror anymore to know I have good form. Thread Theme: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p32b5 nNq1zw [Open] : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)20:46:53 No.55341825 Yeah, it's kinda based actually. What I do is pretend I'm Illidan and I was imprisoned by my brother, so to exact revenge I spend my time lifting so that I could go out and bang the s--- out of Tyrande. It's a little bit tough putting on the plates on and adjusting the safeties, but you get used to it. I like to turn on the Warcraft II OST on my bluetooth speaker and say his lines in-between my set. Makes me feel powerful and edgy. Malfurion can go f--- himself 7 KB JPG

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Anon has a happy dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:36:18 No.62247299 >be me in dream last night >taking a walk on a road in the middle of a field next to some guy >he's apparently a friend of mine in this dream >he's significantly taller than me and very handsome 54 KB JPG >we walk up to a crossroad >as we're about to part ways he wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses me on the head >instantly feel extreme relief and joy >he walks off and i lose sight of him >wake up Did I just become gay?
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:36:18 No.62247299 >be me in dream last night >taking a walk on a road in the middle of a field next to some guy >he's apparently a friend of mine in this dream >he's significantly taller than me and very handsome 54 KB JPG >we walk up to a crossroad >as we're about to part ways he wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses me on the head >instantly feel extreme relief and joy >he walks off and i lose sight of him >wake up Did I just become gay?

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I can't believe you've done this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File 1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334 jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave
Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File 1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334 jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave

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Anon has a panic attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the 46 KB JPG target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore
: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the 46 KB JPG target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore

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Anon buys a belt | /r/Greentext

>be black GLOCI >cant pay rent >kids are starving >just got payed GUCCI >go to mall >guccibelt.jpg 25 KB JPG >have to have it >go home >flex on kids >life is good
>be black GLOCI >cant pay rent >kids are starving >just got payed GUCCI >go to mall >guccibelt.jpg 25 KB JPG >have to have it >go home >flex on kids >life is good

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Anon has no clue | /r/Greentext

>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon fucks an alien | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)06:48:35 No.62430158 >got back from a hotel room 30 minutes ago >f----- a hot asian escort >despite being hot she also looks eerily like an alien >keep staring at her face but she seems to really enjoy it 212 KB JPG >she starts dirty talking >i'm completely horned into retardation and say YEAH TAKE THAT HUMAN D--- >she seems confused which almost makes me burst out laughing >she continues dirty talking >tell her i'm going to c-- on her alien face >she thinks i'm calling her an illegal immigrant >mfw she starts doing race based dirty talk about her being a dirty chink
: Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)06:48:35 No.62430158 >got back from a hotel room 30 minutes ago >f----- a hot asian escort >despite being hot she also looks eerily like an alien >keep staring at her face but she seems to really enjoy it 212 KB JPG >she starts dirty talking >i'm completely horned into retardation and say YEAH TAKE THAT HUMAN D--- >she seems confused which almost makes me burst out laughing >she continues dirty talking >tell her i'm going to c-- on her alien face >she thinks i'm calling her an illegal immigrant >mfw she starts doing race based dirty talk about her being a dirty chink

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