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RIP to my guy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6gx6JwqQ 457978523 rate me 1-10. girls say im creepy also im a virgin bcuz of that xD 02/12/2013 04:49:54 AM Anonymous x3Gpümik 457985081 You look like what happens when you click randomize in the Oblivion character creation screen 02/12/2013 05:52:01 AM Anonymous 1AQ2Wjih 457985145 >>457985081 Enter charactar name >my sides Breton 02/12/2013 05:52:39 AM Face Anonymous WcSENIZI 457985329 Oliled >>457978523 Brawn >>457985081 Compotion It. It's you! THE HERO OF KVATCH! This is truly an honour! bane 02/12/2013 05:54:26 AM
Anonymous 6gx6JwqQ 457978523 rate me 1-10. girls say im creepy also im a virgin bcuz of that xD 02/12/2013 04:49:54 AM Anonymous x3Gpümik 457985081 You look like what happens when you click randomize in the Oblivion character creation screen 02/12/2013 05:52:01 AM Anonymous 1AQ2Wjih 457985145 >>457985081 Enter charactar name >my sides Breton 02/12/2013 05:52:39 AM Face Anonymous WcSENIZI 457985329 Oliled >>457978523 Brawn >>457985081 Compotion It. It's you! THE HERO OF KVATCH! This is truly an honour! bane 02/12/2013 05:54:26 AM

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Anon moves arm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG

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Anon likes animals | /r/Greentext

>at the museum >exhibit of extinct Australian animals >dinosaurs and giant echidnas and s--- >a group of teenage girls walk around going "ew ew ew!!" Are they actually disgusted by what they see? 37 KB JPG What is going on
>at the museum >exhibit of extinct Australian animals >dinosaurs and giant echidnas and s--- >a group of teenage girls walk around going "ew ew ew!!" Are they actually disgusted by what they see? 37 KB JPG What is going on

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Anon misread the situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:05:56 No.62283737 0C5A8D42549E48788FB2C376B11649A4.jpg 308 KB JPG >just now realizing my friends gf had a crush on me 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:58:14 No.62284378 >>62283737 (OP) # she was just being nice to you because she was your friend's gf anon.
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:05:56 No.62283737 0C5A8D42549E48788FB2C376B11649A4.jpg 308 KB JPG >just now realizing my friends gf had a crush on me 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:58:14 No.62284378 >>62283737 (OP) # she was just being nice to you because she was your friend's gf anon.

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Getting your groove back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:52:13 No.62388763 All the plane of existance says is: TOIL, SUFFER, GRILL CONSUME DEGRADE >sister comes over to my parents house with my aunt and cousin because she just broke up with her bf of 7 years or so >i don't even leave my room IJUSTAVANNA because my sister is a bitch but i overhear most of her whining and 60 KB JPG crying >my sister is leaving her kid here and going to jamaica with our cousin to get stuffed full of d--- her words not mine. this is a f------ joke. the kid is already here and luckily there's a spare room anyway but what the f---.
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:52:13 No.62388763 All the plane of existance says is: TOIL, SUFFER, GRILL CONSUME DEGRADE >sister comes over to my parents house with my aunt and cousin because she just broke up with her bf of 7 years or so >i don't even leave my room IJUSTAVANNA because my sister is a bitch but i overhear most of her whining and 60 KB JPG crying >my sister is leaving her kid here and going to jamaica with our cousin to get stuffed full of d--- her words not mine. this is a f------ joke. the kid is already here and luckily there's a spare room anyway but what the f---.

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anon hears recorded laugh | /r/Greentext

File: Blank+_183eabaf2cddef2937(.)png (60 KB, 256x200) O Anonymous 05/16/17(Tue)09:10:52 No.82825888 [Reply] >be 1930s Hollywood >be poor, great depression n s--- >doing odd jobs around the city just to make a living >help wanted ad comes in the mail >says "we record your laughter, you get paid" >fuckyeah.jpg >go to the studio listed on the sheet >whole crowd of people in their >sit down anywhere and laugh when some guy tells us to >get paid $50 >buy NY strip for dinner >be current year >I'm old as s--- now >wonder what they did with my recording >find out it's used as stock sound for TV shows >Most recent time it's used is in a show called "the big bang theory" >never watched it, so just find a random episode on TV >halfway through the episode, the Sheldon character says "bazinga" >Hear my stock laughter in the background >Mfw the joke wasn't funny >Mfw this is my only imprint on human history >Mfw l'll die knowing this
File: Blank+_183eabaf2cddef2937(.)png (60 KB, 256x200) O Anonymous 05/16/17(Tue)09:10:52 No.82825888 [Reply] >be 1930s Hollywood >be poor, great depression n s--- >doing odd jobs around the city just to make a living >help wanted ad comes in the mail >says "we record your laughter, you get paid" >fuckyeah.jpg >go to the studio listed on the sheet >whole crowd of people in their >sit down anywhere and laugh when some guy tells us to >get paid $50 >buy NY strip for dinner >be current year >I'm old as s--- now >wonder what they did with my recording >find out it's used as stock sound for TV shows >Most recent time it's used is in a show called "the big bang theory" >never watched it, so just find a random episode on TV >halfway through the episode, the Sheldon character says "bazinga" >Hear my stock laughter in the background >Mfw the joke wasn't funny >Mfw this is my only imprint on human history >Mfw l'll die knowing this

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Anon goes to borg kinge | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (295 KB, 480x480) BURGER KING Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)20:33:56 No.8162811 ► >>8163512 when u go 2 borg kinge
File: file.png (295 KB, 480x480) BURGER KING Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)20:33:56 No.8162811 ► >>8163512 when u go 2 borg kinge

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Fucking Gringos | /r/Greentext

>>554396264 (OP) # >be 15 >move from Alabama to Texas in freshman year >don't know anyone >hang out with a bunch of the edgy mexican f--- bc don't know anyone >they start playing truth or dare at lunch one day >my turn, I pick dare because what the f--- >one kid pulls out a jar of salsa and says I have to drink half of it >it was bretty gud and hot but i drank like 3 cartons of milk to wash it down >7th period rolls around >volcano in my intestines has detonated >about 30 seconds left in class >l am about to s--- out the child of Satan and puke out a blue-heat star at the same time >run out of class towards the bathroom >both stalls occupied >ohshit.jpg >either have to s--- in urinal or on the floor >urinal it is >simultaneously explode diarrhea with the heat of a thousand suns and throw up unidentifiable fluids at the same time >urinal is literally overflowing, clothes covered in puke >run out as mexican janitor is walking in >hear him scream 'f------ gringos' as i leave >mfw the urinal broke for a couple weeks and the restroom was never totally devoid of the smell
>>554396264 (OP) # >be 15 >move from Alabama to Texas in freshman year >don't know anyone >hang out with a bunch of the edgy mexican f--- bc don't know anyone >they start playing truth or dare at lunch one day >my turn, I pick dare because what the f--- >one kid pulls out a jar of salsa and says I have to drink half of it >it was bretty gud and hot but i drank like 3 cartons of milk to wash it down >7th period rolls around >volcano in my intestines has detonated >about 30 seconds left in class >l am about to s--- out the child of Satan and puke out a blue-heat star at the same time >run out of class towards the bathroom >both stalls occupied >ohshit.jpg >either have to s--- in urinal or on the floor >urinal it is >simultaneously explode diarrhea with the heat of a thousand suns and throw up unidentifiable fluids at the same time >urinal is literally overflowing, clothes covered in puke >run out as mexican janitor is walking in >hear him scream 'f------ gringos' as i leave >mfw the urinal broke for a couple weeks and the restroom was never totally devoid of the smell

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Anon chats with a scammer. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)19:18:49 No.62346640 >tfw so lonely I actually talk to scammers online and string them along for as long as possible just so I have someone to speak with Wouldn't be so bad if they weren't using broken english 220 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)19:18:49 No.62346640 >tfw so lonely I actually talk to scammers online and string them along for as long as possible just so I have someone to speak with Wouldn't be so bad if they weren't using broken english 220 KB PNG

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anon is tasty | /r/Greentext

> be me > 18yo > first b------- > feelsamazing > c--- buckets in her mouth > she swallows > your c-- tastes really bad anon 43 KB JPG > haha I know What have I done
> be me > 18yo > first b------- > feelsamazing > c--- buckets in her mouth > she swallows > your c-- tastes really bad anon 43 KB JPG > haha I know What have I done

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Anon goes for a drive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)12:30:34 No.789444903 >be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and l'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >I hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)12:30:34 No.789444903 >be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and l'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >I hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.

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Anon sticks to his guns | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous le: wat.jpg (6 KB, 247x204) 02/20/21(Sat)12:17:26 No.139893975 >on third date with this girl >asks me if I have any kink >not really >she says her kink is that her partner watches as she gets dicked by a black guy >tell her it was our last date since I'm not into degeneracy >calls me a racist what the f---
O Anonymous le: wat.jpg (6 KB, 247x204) 02/20/21(Sat)12:17:26 No.139893975 >on third date with this girl >asks me if I have any kink >not really >she says her kink is that her partner watches as she gets dicked by a black guy >tell her it was our last date since I'm not into degeneracy >calls me a racist what the f---

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Anon goes to a fancy Japanese resturaunt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)22:21:35 No.62427563 >be me >go down to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner >a cute 8/10 Japanese girl comes to take my order >l order some sushi, but I stop her before she goes back to the kitchen 446 KB PNG >"Hey, would you wanna get a drink or something after this?" >"Sorry, but-" >l immediately get out of my seat and head home >I come back 1 hour later with my dad's harpoon gun >walk over to the artificial pond and shoot the biggest koi fish I can see >pull it out and take a bite That'll teach her
: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)22:21:35 No.62427563 >be me >go down to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner >a cute 8/10 Japanese girl comes to take my order >l order some sushi, but I stop her before she goes back to the kitchen 446 KB PNG >"Hey, would you wanna get a drink or something after this?" >"Sorry, but-" >l immediately get out of my seat and head home >I come back 1 hour later with my dad's harpoon gun >walk over to the artificial pond and shoot the biggest koi fish I can see >pull it out and take a bite That'll teach her

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Anon then, anon now | /r/Greentext

10:301 : Anonymous Sad things you do 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Вe a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my 22 KB PNG SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken
10:301 : Anonymous Sad things you do 11/12/15(Thu)22:15:16 No.24222146 >Вe a kid >Come home from school >Mom works an evening shift at a gas station >She leaves pizza for me >Have two games for my 22 KB PNG SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >Put pizza in oven and use watch to time it >Play game while pizza cooks, often get distracted by my games. >Have burnt pizza most nights but eat it anyway. >Usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >We'd chat for a while if I was still up playing games. >One night on her way home she was hit by a drunk driver and she died. >In my 20s now >Occasionally I'll play TMNT and Addams Family on a SNES and fat old CRT TV and eat burnt pizza. >Eating burnt pizza comforts me regardless of the taste. >Pretend Mom is still out there working at the gas station >Go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

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Anon is Mr White | /r/Greentext

НАААААААNK.png 936 КВ PNG НААААААААААААААAANK НАААААААААААAАААAAAAAAAAAAAANK GET THE SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE НААААААААААAANK THE SWEET AND SOUR NOT BARBEQUE НААААААААААААААAААААААААAAAAAАAAAA
НАААААААNK.png 936 КВ PNG НААААААААААААААAANK НАААААААААААAАААAAAAAAAAAAAANK GET THE SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE НААААААААААAANK THE SWEET AND SOUR NOT BARBEQUE НААААААААААААААAААААААААAAAAAАAAAA

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Anon doesn’t wanna streetshit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)23:01:42 No.55439257 >wanting to kill yourself >remembering your chances of spawning back as indian are too high 280 KB GIF View Thread
: Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)23:01:42 No.55439257 >wanting to kill yourself >remembering your chances of spawning back as indian are too high 280 KB GIF View Thread

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Anon Reminisces | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 847881179 1 hr. ago >8th grade >English class >Tard kid named Ben Jacobson sits in the back >Makes weird noises and farts all the time. We get used to it >One day we have a sub so we get to watch a movie >Tard starts making his normal tard noises >Everyone ignores it like usual >Suddenly the girl sitting in front of him jumps out of her chair >OH MY GOD BEN WHAT THE F--- >Tard starts yelling and moaning and saying "I sowwy" and s--- >Girl turns around and runs out of the room screaming and crying >Her back and hair are splattered with the most massive load of c-- l've ever seen >Turns out Ben decided it was time to crank his hog once the lights were out for the movie >Literally a horse-sized load >Ben stands up and tries to run away, revealing his gigantic uncut retard d--- >Takes two steps and trips over a backpack >Eats s--- and smashes his face directly into the corner of a table >Blood everywhere, Ben is screaming. C--- dangling wildly. >Substitute orders everyone out of the classroom and literally locks him inside the room alone until the school cop can come and deal with it He somehow didn't get expelled. We all called him Ben Jack-offson until the end of high school. Kek. 1 REPLY
Anonymous 847881179 1 hr. ago >8th grade >English class >Tard kid named Ben Jacobson sits in the back >Makes weird noises and farts all the time. We get used to it >One day we have a sub so we get to watch a movie >Tard starts making his normal tard noises >Everyone ignores it like usual >Suddenly the girl sitting in front of him jumps out of her chair >OH MY GOD BEN WHAT THE F--- >Tard starts yelling and moaning and saying "I sowwy" and s--- >Girl turns around and runs out of the room screaming and crying >Her back and hair are splattered with the most massive load of c-- l've ever seen >Turns out Ben decided it was time to crank his hog once the lights were out for the movie >Literally a horse-sized load >Ben stands up and tries to run away, revealing his gigantic uncut retard d--- >Takes two steps and trips over a backpack >Eats s--- and smashes his face directly into the corner of a table >Blood everywhere, Ben is screaming. C--- dangling wildly. >Substitute orders everyone out of the classroom and literally locks him inside the room alone until the school cop can come and deal with it He somehow didn't get expelled. We all called him Ben Jack-offson until the end of high school. Kek. 1 REPLY

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>mommy gf? | /r/Greentext

FALHNER おMRITM OAnonymous 02/02/21(Tue)04:27:07 No.59652376 2259653591 2259654059 >>59654623 >»59654659 >>59654943 »>59655216 2»59655244 File: Screen Shot 2021-02-02 at(..). png (471 KB, 1686x942) >>59651551 that son of a bitch, you can see it in his eyes. Looking right back at you. Knowing that you know that he knows that you know that he knows that you know he motorboats those tiddies on his tippytoes every night in pure ecstasy. That he gets to plow into his snu snu bride, holding one leg up in each hand like he's pushing open two huge oak doors, and getting to slam her with no restraint whatsoever. Her huge milkers bouncing around, hitting each other with meaty thick smacks after every thrust as he busts his nuts into his giantess. You know this, and he knows you know this. And that's why he looks at you that way. He won a game you didn't even know you could play. That son of a bitch ious
FALHNER おMRITM OAnonymous 02/02/21(Tue)04:27:07 No.59652376 2259653591 2259654059 >>59654623 >»59654659 >>59654943 »>59655216 2»59655244 File: Screen Shot 2021-02-02 at(..). png (471 KB, 1686x942) >>59651551 that son of a bitch, you can see it in his eyes. Looking right back at you. Knowing that you know that he knows that you know that he knows that you know he motorboats those tiddies on his tippytoes every night in pure ecstasy. That he gets to plow into his snu snu bride, holding one leg up in each hand like he's pushing open two huge oak doors, and getting to slam her with no restraint whatsoever. Her huge milkers bouncing around, hitting each other with meaty thick smacks after every thrust as he busts his nuts into his giantess. You know this, and he knows you know this. And that's why he looks at you that way. He won a game you didn't even know you could play. That son of a bitch ious

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Cum pounding interest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)18:29:59 No.62422971 >NEET >horny as f--- >join a p--- site for $3 (trial) because I can't find the videos anywhere else for free >think I'm gonna download a fuckton of p--- for the next 3 days 27 KB JPG >it's all just 5 minute previews >can't cancel it >charged $30 which I don't have >get charged an extra $35 by the bank for overdraft >don't want to explain to my mom that l'm $75 in debt for p--- >just got charged another $30 plus $35 in overdraft >now $150 in the hole
: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)18:29:59 No.62422971 >NEET >horny as f--- >join a p--- site for $3 (trial) because I can't find the videos anywhere else for free >think I'm gonna download a fuckton of p--- for the next 3 days 27 KB JPG >it's all just 5 minute previews >can't cancel it >charged $30 which I don't have >get charged an extra $35 by the bank for overdraft >don't want to explain to my mom that l'm $75 in debt for p--- >just got charged another $30 plus $35 in overdraft >now $150 in the hole

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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)20:30:02 No.847866200 >live in Tolerance Zone #65 >be nu-trans fourth-trimester transsensual Angst Profile ZETA-8 genderqueer pseudo- d--- reformed lesbiophilic heteromollusc >see cis thin white male at the zoo >ask "mommies, what's that?" >they don't know 1016 KB PNG >Genderless Polyamorous Parental Unit #2 takes me into a Safe Zone and engages the Feelings Shield >tells me that it is a monster from the beforetime >tells me not to be scared, because the monsters' penisocracy was smashed by the forces of the LBJQGTA5 Coalition in the Patriarchy Wars >start to cry >s/he opens his and/or her rainbow mesh vest and retrieves an estrogen pill to cheer me up >feeling the calming femininity wash over me >s/he tells me that the monsters aren't allowed to hurt anyone anymore, only to work, to support our glorious society >throw Privilege Peanuts at him >everyone laughs >take some soma >go home, tune in to CNN and celebrate the first month of Joe Biden's Presidency of the United States of America >mfw : Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)20:31:38 No.847866298 Put me in the reddit screenshot to raise awareness for the mentally ill.
: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)20:30:02 No.847866200 >live in Tolerance Zone #65 >be nu-trans fourth-trimester transsensual Angst Profile ZETA-8 genderqueer pseudo- d--- reformed lesbiophilic heteromollusc >see cis thin white male at the zoo >ask "mommies, what's that?" >they don't know 1016 KB PNG >Genderless Polyamorous Parental Unit #2 takes me into a Safe Zone and engages the Feelings Shield >tells me that it is a monster from the beforetime >tells me not to be scared, because the monsters' penisocracy was smashed by the forces of the LBJQGTA5 Coalition in the Patriarchy Wars >start to cry >s/he opens his and/or her rainbow mesh vest and retrieves an estrogen pill to cheer me up >feeling the calming femininity wash over me >s/he tells me that the monsters aren't allowed to hurt anyone anymore, only to work, to support our glorious society >throw Privilege Peanuts at him >everyone laughs >take some soma >go home, tune in to CNN and celebrate the first month of Joe Biden's Presidency of the United States of America >mfw : Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)20:31:38 No.847866298 Put me in the reddit screenshot to raise awareness for the mentally ill.

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