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Anon has a happy dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:36:18 No.62247299 >be me in dream last night >taking a walk on a road in the middle of a field next to some guy >he's apparently a friend of mine in this dream >he's significantly taller than me and very handsome 54 KB JPG >we walk up to a crossroad >as we're about to part ways he wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses me on the head >instantly feel extreme relief and joy >he walks off and i lose sight of him >wake up Did I just become gay?
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:36:18 No.62247299 >be me in dream last night >taking a walk on a road in the middle of a field next to some guy >he's apparently a friend of mine in this dream >he's significantly taller than me and very handsome 54 KB JPG >we walk up to a crossroad >as we're about to part ways he wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses me on the head >instantly feel extreme relief and joy >he walks off and i lose sight of him >wake up Did I just become gay?

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I can't believe you've done this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File 1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334 jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave
Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File 1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334 jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave

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Anon has a panic attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the 46 KB JPG target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore
: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the 46 KB JPG target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore

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Anon buys a belt | /r/Greentext

>be black GLOCI >cant pay rent >kids are starving >just got payed GUCCI >go to mall >guccibelt.jpg 25 KB JPG >have to have it >go home >flex on kids >life is good
>be black GLOCI >cant pay rent >kids are starving >just got payed GUCCI >go to mall >guccibelt.jpg 25 KB JPG >have to have it >go home >flex on kids >life is good

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Anon has no clue | /r/Greentext

>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon fucks an alien | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)06:48:35 No.62430158 >got back from a hotel room 30 minutes ago >f----- a hot asian escort >despite being hot she also looks eerily like an alien >keep staring at her face but she seems to really enjoy it 212 KB JPG >she starts dirty talking >i'm completely horned into retardation and say YEAH TAKE THAT HUMAN D--- >she seems confused which almost makes me burst out laughing >she continues dirty talking >tell her i'm going to c-- on her alien face >she thinks i'm calling her an illegal immigrant >mfw she starts doing race based dirty talk about her being a dirty chink
: Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)06:48:35 No.62430158 >got back from a hotel room 30 minutes ago >f----- a hot asian escort >despite being hot she also looks eerily like an alien >keep staring at her face but she seems to really enjoy it 212 KB JPG >she starts dirty talking >i'm completely horned into retardation and say YEAH TAKE THAT HUMAN D--- >she seems confused which almost makes me burst out laughing >she continues dirty talking >tell her i'm going to c-- on her alien face >she thinks i'm calling her an illegal immigrant >mfw she starts doing race based dirty talk about her being a dirty chink

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RIP to my guy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6gx6JwqQ 457978523 rate me 1-10. girls say im creepy also im a virgin bcuz of that xD 02/12/2013 04:49:54 AM Anonymous x3Gpümik 457985081 You look like what happens when you click randomize in the Oblivion character creation screen 02/12/2013 05:52:01 AM Anonymous 1AQ2Wjih 457985145 >>457985081 Enter charactar name >my sides Breton 02/12/2013 05:52:39 AM Face Anonymous WcSENIZI 457985329 Oliled >>457978523 Brawn >>457985081 Compotion It. It's you! THE HERO OF KVATCH! This is truly an honour! bane 02/12/2013 05:54:26 AM
Anonymous 6gx6JwqQ 457978523 rate me 1-10. girls say im creepy also im a virgin bcuz of that xD 02/12/2013 04:49:54 AM Anonymous x3Gpümik 457985081 You look like what happens when you click randomize in the Oblivion character creation screen 02/12/2013 05:52:01 AM Anonymous 1AQ2Wjih 457985145 >>457985081 Enter charactar name >my sides Breton 02/12/2013 05:52:39 AM Face Anonymous WcSENIZI 457985329 Oliled >>457978523 Brawn >>457985081 Compotion It. It's you! THE HERO OF KVATCH! This is truly an honour! bane 02/12/2013 05:54:26 AM

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Anon moves arm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG

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Anon likes animals | /r/Greentext

>at the museum >exhibit of extinct Australian animals >dinosaurs and giant echidnas and s--- >a group of teenage girls walk around going "ew ew ew!!" Are they actually disgusted by what they see? 37 KB JPG What is going on
>at the museum >exhibit of extinct Australian animals >dinosaurs and giant echidnas and s--- >a group of teenage girls walk around going "ew ew ew!!" Are they actually disgusted by what they see? 37 KB JPG What is going on

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Anon misread the situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:05:56 No.62283737 0C5A8D42549E48788FB2C376B11649A4.jpg 308 KB JPG >just now realizing my friends gf had a crush on me 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:58:14 No.62284378 >>62283737 (OP) # she was just being nice to you because she was your friend's gf anon.
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:05:56 No.62283737 0C5A8D42549E48788FB2C376B11649A4.jpg 308 KB JPG >just now realizing my friends gf had a crush on me 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:58:14 No.62284378 >>62283737 (OP) # she was just being nice to you because she was your friend's gf anon.

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Getting your groove back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:52:13 No.62388763 All the plane of existance says is: TOIL, SUFFER, GRILL CONSUME DEGRADE >sister comes over to my parents house with my aunt and cousin because she just broke up with her bf of 7 years or so >i don't even leave my room IJUSTAVANNA because my sister is a bitch but i overhear most of her whining and 60 KB JPG crying >my sister is leaving her kid here and going to jamaica with our cousin to get stuffed full of d--- her words not mine. this is a f------ joke. the kid is already here and luckily there's a spare room anyway but what the f---.
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:52:13 No.62388763 All the plane of existance says is: TOIL, SUFFER, GRILL CONSUME DEGRADE >sister comes over to my parents house with my aunt and cousin because she just broke up with her bf of 7 years or so >i don't even leave my room IJUSTAVANNA because my sister is a bitch but i overhear most of her whining and 60 KB JPG crying >my sister is leaving her kid here and going to jamaica with our cousin to get stuffed full of d--- her words not mine. this is a f------ joke. the kid is already here and luckily there's a spare room anyway but what the f---.

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anon hears recorded laugh | /r/Greentext

File: Blank+_183eabaf2cddef2937(.)png (60 KB, 256x200) O Anonymous 05/16/17(Tue)09:10:52 No.82825888 [Reply] >be 1930s Hollywood >be poor, great depression n s--- >doing odd jobs around the city just to make a living >help wanted ad comes in the mail >says "we record your laughter, you get paid" >fuckyeah.jpg >go to the studio listed on the sheet >whole crowd of people in their >sit down anywhere and laugh when some guy tells us to >get paid $50 >buy NY strip for dinner >be current year >I'm old as s--- now >wonder what they did with my recording >find out it's used as stock sound for TV shows >Most recent time it's used is in a show called "the big bang theory" >never watched it, so just find a random episode on TV >halfway through the episode, the Sheldon character says "bazinga" >Hear my stock laughter in the background >Mfw the joke wasn't funny >Mfw this is my only imprint on human history >Mfw l'll die knowing this
File: Blank+_183eabaf2cddef2937(.)png (60 KB, 256x200) O Anonymous 05/16/17(Tue)09:10:52 No.82825888 [Reply] >be 1930s Hollywood >be poor, great depression n s--- >doing odd jobs around the city just to make a living >help wanted ad comes in the mail >says "we record your laughter, you get paid" >fuckyeah.jpg >go to the studio listed on the sheet >whole crowd of people in their >sit down anywhere and laugh when some guy tells us to >get paid $50 >buy NY strip for dinner >be current year >I'm old as s--- now >wonder what they did with my recording >find out it's used as stock sound for TV shows >Most recent time it's used is in a show called "the big bang theory" >never watched it, so just find a random episode on TV >halfway through the episode, the Sheldon character says "bazinga" >Hear my stock laughter in the background >Mfw the joke wasn't funny >Mfw this is my only imprint on human history >Mfw l'll die knowing this

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Anon goes to borg kinge | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (295 KB, 480x480) BURGER KING Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)20:33:56 No.8162811 ► >>8163512 when u go 2 borg kinge
File: file.png (295 KB, 480x480) BURGER KING Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)20:33:56 No.8162811 ► >>8163512 when u go 2 borg kinge

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Fucking Gringos | /r/Greentext

>>554396264 (OP) # >be 15 >move from Alabama to Texas in freshman year >don't know anyone >hang out with a bunch of the edgy mexican f--- bc don't know anyone >they start playing truth or dare at lunch one day >my turn, I pick dare because what the f--- >one kid pulls out a jar of salsa and says I have to drink half of it >it was bretty gud and hot but i drank like 3 cartons of milk to wash it down >7th period rolls around >volcano in my intestines has detonated >about 30 seconds left in class >l am about to s--- out the child of Satan and puke out a blue-heat star at the same time >run out of class towards the bathroom >both stalls occupied >ohshit.jpg >either have to s--- in urinal or on the floor >urinal it is >simultaneously explode diarrhea with the heat of a thousand suns and throw up unidentifiable fluids at the same time >urinal is literally overflowing, clothes covered in puke >run out as mexican janitor is walking in >hear him scream 'f------ gringos' as i leave >mfw the urinal broke for a couple weeks and the restroom was never totally devoid of the smell
>>554396264 (OP) # >be 15 >move from Alabama to Texas in freshman year >don't know anyone >hang out with a bunch of the edgy mexican f--- bc don't know anyone >they start playing truth or dare at lunch one day >my turn, I pick dare because what the f--- >one kid pulls out a jar of salsa and says I have to drink half of it >it was bretty gud and hot but i drank like 3 cartons of milk to wash it down >7th period rolls around >volcano in my intestines has detonated >about 30 seconds left in class >l am about to s--- out the child of Satan and puke out a blue-heat star at the same time >run out of class towards the bathroom >both stalls occupied >ohshit.jpg >either have to s--- in urinal or on the floor >urinal it is >simultaneously explode diarrhea with the heat of a thousand suns and throw up unidentifiable fluids at the same time >urinal is literally overflowing, clothes covered in puke >run out as mexican janitor is walking in >hear him scream 'f------ gringos' as i leave >mfw the urinal broke for a couple weeks and the restroom was never totally devoid of the smell

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Anon chats with a scammer. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)19:18:49 No.62346640 >tfw so lonely I actually talk to scammers online and string them along for as long as possible just so I have someone to speak with Wouldn't be so bad if they weren't using broken english 220 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)19:18:49 No.62346640 >tfw so lonely I actually talk to scammers online and string them along for as long as possible just so I have someone to speak with Wouldn't be so bad if they weren't using broken english 220 KB PNG

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anon is tasty | /r/Greentext

> be me > 18yo > first b------- > feelsamazing > c--- buckets in her mouth > she swallows > your c-- tastes really bad anon 43 KB JPG > haha I know What have I done
> be me > 18yo > first b------- > feelsamazing > c--- buckets in her mouth > she swallows > your c-- tastes really bad anon 43 KB JPG > haha I know What have I done

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Anon goes for a drive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)12:30:34 No.789444903 >be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and l'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >I hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)12:30:34 No.789444903 >be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and l'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >I hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.

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Anon sticks to his guns | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous le: wat.jpg (6 KB, 247x204) 02/20/21(Sat)12:17:26 No.139893975 >on third date with this girl >asks me if I have any kink >not really >she says her kink is that her partner watches as she gets dicked by a black guy >tell her it was our last date since I'm not into degeneracy >calls me a racist what the f---
O Anonymous le: wat.jpg (6 KB, 247x204) 02/20/21(Sat)12:17:26 No.139893975 >on third date with this girl >asks me if I have any kink >not really >she says her kink is that her partner watches as she gets dicked by a black guy >tell her it was our last date since I'm not into degeneracy >calls me a racist what the f---

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Anon goes to a fancy Japanese resturaunt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)22:21:35 No.62427563 >be me >go down to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner >a cute 8/10 Japanese girl comes to take my order >l order some sushi, but I stop her before she goes back to the kitchen 446 KB PNG >"Hey, would you wanna get a drink or something after this?" >"Sorry, but-" >l immediately get out of my seat and head home >I come back 1 hour later with my dad's harpoon gun >walk over to the artificial pond and shoot the biggest koi fish I can see >pull it out and take a bite That'll teach her
: Anonymous 02/20/21(Sat)22:21:35 No.62427563 >be me >go down to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner >a cute 8/10 Japanese girl comes to take my order >l order some sushi, but I stop her before she goes back to the kitchen 446 KB PNG >"Hey, would you wanna get a drink or something after this?" >"Sorry, but-" >l immediately get out of my seat and head home >I come back 1 hour later with my dad's harpoon gun >walk over to the artificial pond and shoot the biggest koi fish I can see >pull it out and take a bite That'll teach her

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