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Anon is in hell | /r/Greentext

File: schizojak.png (226 KB, 500x430) Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:03:07 No.847732485 > be me > be schizanon > psychosis in remission for a year now > finally doing better, don't want to kill myself > wake up >i am in hell > literally, in hell > lava in the kitchen > cannot touch anything because it is unholy oh god it is happening again they are back > scream > hear devil chanting > someone is banging on my door yelling in a language i dont recognize > run back to my room and open laptop > go on 4chan > help me /b/
File: schizojak.png (226 KB, 500x430) Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:03:07 No.847732485 > be me > be schizanon > psychosis in remission for a year now > finally doing better, don't want to kill myself > wake up >i am in hell > literally, in hell > lava in the kitchen > cannot touch anything because it is unholy oh god it is happening again they are back > scream > hear devil chanting > someone is banging on my door yelling in a language i dont recognize > run back to my room and open laptop > go on 4chan > help me /b/

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anon likes hippos | /r/Greentext

File: hippo-sunscreen.jpg (305 KB, 1600x900) Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)13:16:16 No.3689682 >>3689693 >>3689747 >>3689748 >>3689771 >>3689 hippos are the most based animal in the wild >herbivore so they dont f--- with anyone just chill in the water all day comfy >any time an alligator comes in their group they just f------ eat it up like nothing and curb stomp it >rescue small animals being attacked by lions and hyenas >can take on groups of tigers, lions, and hyenas >big friendly based boys (may attack humans)
File: hippo-sunscreen.jpg (305 KB, 1600x900) Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)13:16:16 No.3689682 >>3689693 >>3689747 >>3689748 >>3689771 >>3689 hippos are the most based animal in the wild >herbivore so they dont f--- with anyone just chill in the water all day comfy >any time an alligator comes in their group they just f------ eat it up like nothing and curb stomp it >rescue small animals being attacked by lions and hyenas >can take on groups of tigers, lions, and hyenas >big friendly based boys (may attack humans)

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Anon loves sprite | /r/Greentext

>be you >coke or pepsi normalfag >s--- goes flat in like three hours Sprite and tastes like satan cummed in your grandmas constipated a------ and then she s--- her pants 96 KB JPG >be me >sprite chad >stays considerably fizzy for at least 36 hours before it noticeably goes flat >tastes like the archangel Gabriel p----- in to a lemon tree garden and spread his sweat in a lime tree garden also >also less sugar and processed and fake ingredients >ultimately healthier choice for a carbonated drink addiction make better choices you f------. sprite gang
>be you >coke or pepsi normalfag >s--- goes flat in like three hours Sprite and tastes like satan cummed in your grandmas constipated a------ and then she s--- her pants 96 KB JPG >be me >sprite chad >stays considerably fizzy for at least 36 hours before it noticeably goes flat >tastes like the archangel Gabriel p----- in to a lemon tree garden and spread his sweat in a lime tree garden also >also less sugar and processed and fake ingredients >ultimately healthier choice for a carbonated drink addiction make better choices you f------. sprite gang

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anon is a painter | /r/Greentext

: Chad Warrior Art Challenge 11/03/20(Tue)23:14:25 No.4633739 Show me your drawing abilities FB_IMG 1604463139010.jpg 16 KB JPG Are you creative enough /aco/? : Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)23:19:18 No.4633747 deb.png 60 KB PNG
: Chad Warrior Art Challenge 11/03/20(Tue)23:14:25 No.4633739 Show me your drawing abilities FB_IMG 1604463139010.jpg 16 KB JPG Are you creative enough /aco/? : Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)23:19:18 No.4633747 deb.png 60 KB PNG

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Anon likes grapes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)13:21:21 No.545026328 grapes_625x350_61443376353.jpg 31 KB JPG take the grape pill /v/ >easy to eat >easy to store >healthy >tasty >doesn't get s--- on your hands >won't make you a fatass
: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)13:21:21 No.545026328 grapes_625x350_61443376353.jpg 31 KB JPG take the grape pill /v/ >easy to eat >easy to store >healthy >tasty >doesn't get s--- on your hands >won't make you a fatass

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Anon is a railway enthusiast | /r/Greentext

8559 8550 8539 8539 >be me >active in a discord server daily >made friends there >people talking about haters accusing the server of distributing cp >thought it would be funny to joke about that >>GUYS LETS START DISTRIBUTING CP (Canadian pacific railway) >send pic related in spoiler >get insta banned >people I know from there blocked me w-- have I done. My retardation has reached peak levels.
8559 8550 8539 8539 >be me >active in a discord server daily >made friends there >people talking about haters accusing the server of distributing cp >thought it would be funny to joke about that >>GUYS LETS START DISTRIBUTING CP (Canadian pacific railway) >send pic related in spoiler >get insta banned >people I know from there blocked me w-- have I done. My retardation has reached peak levels.

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Anon stops being bullied | /r/Greentext

Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again
Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again

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Anon reveals alternate ending to Endgame | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb + 1525206920649.jpg, 1MIB, 1920x2496 SauceNAO Anonymous Sat 27 Apr 2019 01:27:30 No.107226208 View Report >>107213801 >Thanos is winning >proclaims "is there no man who can beat me?!" >suddenly "who says it has to be a man?" >everybody turns around, it's Black Widow >she jumps and punches Thanos in the nuts >his eyes roll in pain >says in high pitched voice "My Infinity Stones!" >everybody high fives >dog covers his eyes with his paws >all the guy shield their crotch in sympathy pain >Uncanny Valley CGI Stan Lee says "NUFF SAID" at the camera >I AM GROOT! >New York cabby turns to the camera and says "ooh dats gotta hurt" >Judge bangs his gavel and says "I'll allow it" >Black church choir begin to sing >Old lady starts breakdancing >Fat guy falls off his chair and farts >black guy exclaims "oh s---" but the scene cuts before he finishes saying it >Smash Mouth All Star start playing >STOP >FREEZE FRAME >Yeah, that's me. I'm the big Purple guy getting punched in the nuts. >l bet you're wondering how I got into this mess. >Well, it all started three millennia ago..
View Same Google ImgOps iqdb + 1525206920649.jpg, 1MIB, 1920x2496 SauceNAO Anonymous Sat 27 Apr 2019 01:27:30 No.107226208 View Report >>107213801 >Thanos is winning >proclaims "is there no man who can beat me?!" >suddenly "who says it has to be a man?" >everybody turns around, it's Black Widow >she jumps and punches Thanos in the nuts >his eyes roll in pain >says in high pitched voice "My Infinity Stones!" >everybody high fives >dog covers his eyes with his paws >all the guy shield their crotch in sympathy pain >Uncanny Valley CGI Stan Lee says "NUFF SAID" at the camera >I AM GROOT! >New York cabby turns to the camera and says "ooh dats gotta hurt" >Judge bangs his gavel and says "I'll allow it" >Black church choir begin to sing >Old lady starts breakdancing >Fat guy falls off his chair and farts >black guy exclaims "oh s---" but the scene cuts before he finishes saying it >Smash Mouth All Star start playing >STOP >FREEZE FRAME >Yeah, that's me. I'm the big Purple guy getting punched in the nuts. >l bet you're wondering how I got into this mess. >Well, it all started three millennia ago..

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Anon has Spain without the s | /r/Greentext

No.62397470 1 hour ago wojak-rain-feels.gif GIF 852.1 KİB 500x717 >Cute girl invites me to come over to her house to work on school project >we're making quick progress >we finish early >tell her i should probably head home, don't want to be a nuisance >"aww, well that's alright, thank you for helping me" >"wait anon, before you go i want to show you something!" >"i know you said you liked this music, so i checked it out and they're pretty great!" >impressed that a girl would actually take the time to listen to my autistic taste in music >music playlist changes to some generic pop you'd hear on the radio > she's groovin >Come on anon, let's dance before you have to go! >l don't dance, i never dance. not even by myself >"uhh okay sure" >okay anon show me your moves! >i do some awkward disco moves, chicken dance >she thinks its hilarious, >i laugh harder than i have in years >music changes again, this time to a slow dance song >she yanks my hand and puts the other on her waist >anon, i absolutely love spending time with you. >"Me too, i had alot of fun today" >she smiles and looks down hiding her smile. >"Do you, like me?" >"yes of course i do! i've had a crush on you since the day we met" >"can i.?" >She closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss >i purse my lips to greet hers >RING RING RING RING RING RING >i wake up in bed >mfw
No.62397470 1 hour ago wojak-rain-feels.gif GIF 852.1 KİB 500x717 >Cute girl invites me to come over to her house to work on school project >we're making quick progress >we finish early >tell her i should probably head home, don't want to be a nuisance >"aww, well that's alright, thank you for helping me" >"wait anon, before you go i want to show you something!" >"i know you said you liked this music, so i checked it out and they're pretty great!" >impressed that a girl would actually take the time to listen to my autistic taste in music >music playlist changes to some generic pop you'd hear on the radio > she's groovin >Come on anon, let's dance before you have to go! >l don't dance, i never dance. not even by myself >"uhh okay sure" >okay anon show me your moves! >i do some awkward disco moves, chicken dance >she thinks its hilarious, >i laugh harder than i have in years >music changes again, this time to a slow dance song >she yanks my hand and puts the other on her waist >anon, i absolutely love spending time with you. >"Me too, i had alot of fun today" >she smiles and looks down hiding her smile. >"Do you, like me?" >"yes of course i do! i've had a crush on you since the day we met" >"can i.?" >She closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss >i purse my lips to greet hers >RING RING RING RING RING RING >i wake up in bed >mfw

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Anon is tall | /r/Greentext

64f501db467c44445285591ab8ca8512.jpg| 51 KB JPG >be me >Dad is 5'9", mom is 5'2" >Destined to be a manley >Only 5'9" in high school >Get in car accident at 16 >Lose my legs >Get prosthetics >Allowed to choose how long they are >l am now 6'1" I finally made it guys
64f501db467c44445285591ab8ca8512.jpg| 51 KB JPG >be me >Dad is 5'9", mom is 5'2" >Destined to be a manley >Only 5'9" in high school >Get in car accident at 16 >Lose my legs >Get prosthetics >Allowed to choose how long they are >l am now 6'1" I finally made it guys

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

>>45160329 (OP) # >me, at uni >enter the bathroom >open the first booth i see >see teacher s------- there >not being prepared for it, i autistically stare at him >he silently raises his hand, as in, "close the door 17 KB JPG you imbecile" >i shake it
>>45160329 (OP) # >me, at uni >enter the bathroom >open the first booth i see >see teacher s------- there >not being prepared for it, i autistically stare at him >he silently raises his hand, as in, "close the door 17 KB JPG you imbecile" >i shake it

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Swiss anon has an epiphany | /r/Greentext

Anonymous D 03/30/20(M >>120534148 (OP) >there is Spain >there is no Spleasure
Anonymous D 03/30/20(M >>120534148 (OP) >there is Spain >there is no Spleasure

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Anon has a bad dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)04:07:35 No.62290937 >be sleeping inside the dream >mom breaks into my room >she wakes me up >she calls me short >begin to chimp out uncontrollably >start screaming like i'm possessed >get up and start throwing things around >throw a computer at her all while screeching madly non- stop I'm not short. My mother has never tried to imply that I'm short. I think the stress, anger and hatred towards everything and everyone, is just seeping into my dreams now.
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)04:07:35 No.62290937 >be sleeping inside the dream >mom breaks into my room >she wakes me up >she calls me short >begin to chimp out uncontrollably >start screaming like i'm possessed >get up and start throwing things around >throw a computer at her all while screeching madly non- stop I'm not short. My mother has never tried to imply that I'm short. I think the stress, anger and hatred towards everything and everyone, is just seeping into my dreams now.

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Anon visits 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/18(Tue)06:19:52 No.777133570 >be me >be active poster on r/greentext and r/4Chan >decide to go to 4chans actual site >mfw all that shows up is 62 KB JPG loli p--- and pics of ex girlfriends >mfw im probably on a watchlist now >mfw I'm scarred for life >mfw F--- y'all I can't unsee this s---
: Anonymous 08/14/18(Tue)06:19:52 No.777133570 >be me >be active poster on r/greentext and r/4Chan >decide to go to 4chans actual site >mfw all that shows up is 62 KB JPG loli p--- and pics of ex girlfriends >mfw im probably on a watchlist now >mfw I'm scarred for life >mfw F--- y'all I can't unsee this s---

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Anon Calls Out Biden | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)12:52:33 No.847710353 >l wont ban fracking bans fracking first day killing tens of thousands of jobs >we'll slowly get away from Keystone over 2 years bans Keystone first day killing tens of thousands of jobs in Canada and 205 KB JPG US >we will forgive $50k in student loan debt last night at town hall he said he will not be doing any student loan debt. literally $0. >we will stand up to Putin and Xi last night said Chinese Islam internment camps are "just differences between nations" we have to overlook >we will give $15/hr national minimum wage day 1 if we have the house and senate Not happening. Now its talk of only Federal employees getting $15/hr with reduced work weeks >we will be giving 2k covid relief checks "out the door on day 1 of my presidency" may only be 1k and wont come until March/April >Has already solidified $248million in weapons deals with Raytheon $440million in the works to be signed next week >Trump is mismanaging Covid and killing people. We have a plan day 1 to slow the virus and deaths. tens of thousands have died due to covid since Biden took office and appears cuomo is responsible for 1/3 of the deaths when Trump was in office >We will lower health costs Insulin went from $60 to $360 day 1 due to an executive order reversing Trumps order reducing the cost (for no reason other than Trump bad) made with mematic
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)12:52:33 No.847710353 >l wont ban fracking bans fracking first day killing tens of thousands of jobs >we'll slowly get away from Keystone over 2 years bans Keystone first day killing tens of thousands of jobs in Canada and 205 KB JPG US >we will forgive $50k in student loan debt last night at town hall he said he will not be doing any student loan debt. literally $0. >we will stand up to Putin and Xi last night said Chinese Islam internment camps are "just differences between nations" we have to overlook >we will give $15/hr national minimum wage day 1 if we have the house and senate Not happening. Now its talk of only Federal employees getting $15/hr with reduced work weeks >we will be giving 2k covid relief checks "out the door on day 1 of my presidency" may only be 1k and wont come until March/April >Has already solidified $248million in weapons deals with Raytheon $440million in the works to be signed next week >Trump is mismanaging Covid and killing people. We have a plan day 1 to slow the virus and deaths. tens of thousands have died due to covid since Biden took office and appears cuomo is responsible for 1/3 of the deaths when Trump was in office >We will lower health costs Insulin went from $60 to $360 day 1 due to an executive order reversing Trumps order reducing the cost (for no reason other than Trump bad) made with mematic

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Anon watches a horror film | /r/Greentext

21m (2/19 14:26) 146849008 1 Re 1 Img JPG 6KB (213 x 237) 1 Reply >watching some horror film >it's not particularly good but its entertaining >feel the need to go to the toilet >too lazy to get out of my chair >i know i could just pause it but I don't want to >end up s------- myself the worst part of all this is.... i ended up s------- myself becauseI was too lazy. it's not like I was "enthralled" by the movie or anything. is this the point of no return?
21m (2/19 14:26) 146849008 1 Re 1 Img JPG 6KB (213 x 237) 1 Reply >watching some horror film >it's not particularly good but its entertaining >feel the need to go to the toilet >too lazy to get out of my chair >i know i could just pause it but I don't want to >end up s------- myself the worst part of all this is.... i ended up s------- myself becauseI was too lazy. it's not like I was "enthralled" by the movie or anything. is this the point of no return?

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Anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

SUONE AREASI 3456785845354345.jpg 181 KB JPG I just got my PS2 : Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)17:30:47 No.378896270 why are you black
SUONE AREASI 3456785845354345.jpg 181 KB JPG I just got my PS2 : Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)17:30:47 No.378896270 why are you black

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Anon had a baby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)01:15:45 No.62399655 >be in library >have a baby with me >baby goes uh oh stinky poop >foot change the diaper >there's some russian lady, ask her directions for the 63 KB JPG toilets where I can change >responds in broken English, she's also going there >go first >start unwrapping the package >accidentally pull too hard, both legs are now in my hand >baby screams >start sweating, we can fix this >a few moments later the whole baby is disassembled on the changing table and I'm trying to figure out how the brains are supposed to go together like some three dimensional puzzle >f--- this, throw all the baby pieces to the garbage can >walk out, tell the russian lady it's all yours >walk away, hear a woman screaming behind me >wake up Why are all my dreams like this?
: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)01:15:45 No.62399655 >be in library >have a baby with me >baby goes uh oh stinky poop >foot change the diaper >there's some russian lady, ask her directions for the 63 KB JPG toilets where I can change >responds in broken English, she's also going there >go first >start unwrapping the package >accidentally pull too hard, both legs are now in my hand >baby screams >start sweating, we can fix this >a few moments later the whole baby is disassembled on the changing table and I'm trying to figure out how the brains are supposed to go together like some three dimensional puzzle >f--- this, throw all the baby pieces to the garbage can >walk out, tell the russian lady it's all yours >walk away, hear a woman screaming behind me >wake up Why are all my dreams like this?

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The art of de-escalation | /r/Greentext

File: juhlapuluja jpg (53 KB, 640x424) O Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri) 12:14:35 No.847760032 Being in quarantine really makes you think back to all the weird s--- you've seen. >Kópavogur, Iceland, saturday night, either 2016 or 2017, can't remember for sure >go out into clubs alone because all my schoolmates are doing something constructive >head for the smaller shady places because none of my mates ever want to go there and I want to check them out >find a loud, trashy place, few dents in the walls, folks have scars and big tattoos, icelandic pop-punk playing, ladies range from 18 to 40 but they're all in short skirts and heavy makeup >feels almost like home >there's some kind of a dance floor, looks crowded, I'm not drunk enough to dance yet but lil watch >see two dudes in the middle of it, not dancing but standing real close and staring at each other, and they don't look like they're gonna kiss >Ive worked enough with men and dogs to tell when a fight is coming >try to look for someone who looks like a bouncer, can't spot one >spot the DJ instead, communicate with my astonishingly s----- icelandic >he asks me what I want in fluent english, and I tell him those dude over there look like they're gonna fight, is there a bouncer somewhere or something >he promises he'll take care of it, keeps fiddling with the settings on his table >Ive taken 3 steps away from the DJ's box when the lights and the music stop. sudden dark silence >one single spotlight turns on, illuminating just those two dudes in the middle of the dance floor >the f------ Mortal Kombat theme starts playing >one of the dudes just f------ breaks down, starts laughing so hard he's crying >the other one looks like he's just p----- off more by this, but now everyone's staring and he can't just jump a guy who's holding onto his knee wheezing from laughter >so he just angrily storms out, apparently out of the whole club >funky lights and the normal dance music carries on like nothing happened >I get s-------- and get my wallet stolen that night, but that's a different story
File: juhlapuluja jpg (53 KB, 640x424) O Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri) 12:14:35 No.847760032 Being in quarantine really makes you think back to all the weird s--- you've seen. >Kópavogur, Iceland, saturday night, either 2016 or 2017, can't remember for sure >go out into clubs alone because all my schoolmates are doing something constructive >head for the smaller shady places because none of my mates ever want to go there and I want to check them out >find a loud, trashy place, few dents in the walls, folks have scars and big tattoos, icelandic pop-punk playing, ladies range from 18 to 40 but they're all in short skirts and heavy makeup >feels almost like home >there's some kind of a dance floor, looks crowded, I'm not drunk enough to dance yet but lil watch >see two dudes in the middle of it, not dancing but standing real close and staring at each other, and they don't look like they're gonna kiss >Ive worked enough with men and dogs to tell when a fight is coming >try to look for someone who looks like a bouncer, can't spot one >spot the DJ instead, communicate with my astonishingly s----- icelandic >he asks me what I want in fluent english, and I tell him those dude over there look like they're gonna fight, is there a bouncer somewhere or something >he promises he'll take care of it, keeps fiddling with the settings on his table >Ive taken 3 steps away from the DJ's box when the lights and the music stop. sudden dark silence >one single spotlight turns on, illuminating just those two dudes in the middle of the dance floor >the f------ Mortal Kombat theme starts playing >one of the dudes just f------ breaks down, starts laughing so hard he's crying >the other one looks like he's just p----- off more by this, but now everyone's staring and he can't just jump a guy who's holding onto his knee wheezing from laughter >so he just angrily storms out, apparently out of the whole club >funky lights and the normal dance music carries on like nothing happened >I get s-------- and get my wallet stolen that night, but that's a different story

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Anon had a good dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)03:57:15 No.62290856 >>62290541 (OP) # >get a text >look at my phone >phone screen isn't cracked >wake up >check time >phone screen is cracked
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)03:57:15 No.62290856 >>62290541 (OP) # >get a text >look at my phone >phone screen isn't cracked >wake up >check time >phone screen is cracked

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