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Swiss anon has an epiphany | /r/Greentext

Anonymous D 03/30/20(M >>120534148 (OP) >there is Spain >there is no Spleasure
Anonymous D 03/30/20(M >>120534148 (OP) >there is Spain >there is no Spleasure

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Anon has a bad dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)04:07:35 No.62290937 >be sleeping inside the dream >mom breaks into my room >she wakes me up >she calls me short >begin to chimp out uncontrollably >start screaming like i'm possessed >get up and start throwing things around >throw a computer at her all while screeching madly non- stop I'm not short. My mother has never tried to imply that I'm short. I think the stress, anger and hatred towards everything and everyone, is just seeping into my dreams now.
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)04:07:35 No.62290937 >be sleeping inside the dream >mom breaks into my room >she wakes me up >she calls me short >begin to chimp out uncontrollably >start screaming like i'm possessed >get up and start throwing things around >throw a computer at her all while screeching madly non- stop I'm not short. My mother has never tried to imply that I'm short. I think the stress, anger and hatred towards everything and everyone, is just seeping into my dreams now.

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Anon visits 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/18(Tue)06:19:52 No.777133570 >be me >be active poster on r/greentext and r/4Chan >decide to go to 4chans actual site >mfw all that shows up is 62 KB JPG loli p--- and pics of ex girlfriends >mfw im probably on a watchlist now >mfw I'm scarred for life >mfw F--- y'all I can't unsee this s---
: Anonymous 08/14/18(Tue)06:19:52 No.777133570 >be me >be active poster on r/greentext and r/4Chan >decide to go to 4chans actual site >mfw all that shows up is 62 KB JPG loli p--- and pics of ex girlfriends >mfw im probably on a watchlist now >mfw I'm scarred for life >mfw F--- y'all I can't unsee this s---

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Anon Calls Out Biden | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)12:52:33 No.847710353 >l wont ban fracking bans fracking first day killing tens of thousands of jobs >we'll slowly get away from Keystone over 2 years bans Keystone first day killing tens of thousands of jobs in Canada and 205 KB JPG US >we will forgive $50k in student loan debt last night at town hall he said he will not be doing any student loan debt. literally $0. >we will stand up to Putin and Xi last night said Chinese Islam internment camps are "just differences between nations" we have to overlook >we will give $15/hr national minimum wage day 1 if we have the house and senate Not happening. Now its talk of only Federal employees getting $15/hr with reduced work weeks >we will be giving 2k covid relief checks "out the door on day 1 of my presidency" may only be 1k and wont come until March/April >Has already solidified $248million in weapons deals with Raytheon $440million in the works to be signed next week >Trump is mismanaging Covid and killing people. We have a plan day 1 to slow the virus and deaths. tens of thousands have died due to covid since Biden took office and appears cuomo is responsible for 1/3 of the deaths when Trump was in office >We will lower health costs Insulin went from $60 to $360 day 1 due to an executive order reversing Trumps order reducing the cost (for no reason other than Trump bad) made with mematic
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)12:52:33 No.847710353 >l wont ban fracking bans fracking first day killing tens of thousands of jobs >we'll slowly get away from Keystone over 2 years bans Keystone first day killing tens of thousands of jobs in Canada and 205 KB JPG US >we will forgive $50k in student loan debt last night at town hall he said he will not be doing any student loan debt. literally $0. >we will stand up to Putin and Xi last night said Chinese Islam internment camps are "just differences between nations" we have to overlook >we will give $15/hr national minimum wage day 1 if we have the house and senate Not happening. Now its talk of only Federal employees getting $15/hr with reduced work weeks >we will be giving 2k covid relief checks "out the door on day 1 of my presidency" may only be 1k and wont come until March/April >Has already solidified $248million in weapons deals with Raytheon $440million in the works to be signed next week >Trump is mismanaging Covid and killing people. We have a plan day 1 to slow the virus and deaths. tens of thousands have died due to covid since Biden took office and appears cuomo is responsible for 1/3 of the deaths when Trump was in office >We will lower health costs Insulin went from $60 to $360 day 1 due to an executive order reversing Trumps order reducing the cost (for no reason other than Trump bad) made with mematic

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Anon watches a horror film | /r/Greentext

21m (2/19 14:26) 146849008 1 Re 1 Img JPG 6KB (213 x 237) 1 Reply >watching some horror film >it's not particularly good but its entertaining >feel the need to go to the toilet >too lazy to get out of my chair >i know i could just pause it but I don't want to >end up s------- myself the worst part of all this is.... i ended up s------- myself becauseI was too lazy. it's not like I was "enthralled" by the movie or anything. is this the point of no return?
21m (2/19 14:26) 146849008 1 Re 1 Img JPG 6KB (213 x 237) 1 Reply >watching some horror film >it's not particularly good but its entertaining >feel the need to go to the toilet >too lazy to get out of my chair >i know i could just pause it but I don't want to >end up s------- myself the worst part of all this is.... i ended up s------- myself becauseI was too lazy. it's not like I was "enthralled" by the movie or anything. is this the point of no return?

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Anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

SUONE AREASI 3456785845354345.jpg 181 KB JPG I just got my PS2 : Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)17:30:47 No.378896270 why are you black
SUONE AREASI 3456785845354345.jpg 181 KB JPG I just got my PS2 : Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)17:30:47 No.378896270 why are you black

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Anon had a baby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)01:15:45 No.62399655 >be in library >have a baby with me >baby goes uh oh stinky poop >foot change the diaper >there's some russian lady, ask her directions for the 63 KB JPG toilets where I can change >responds in broken English, she's also going there >go first >start unwrapping the package >accidentally pull too hard, both legs are now in my hand >baby screams >start sweating, we can fix this >a few moments later the whole baby is disassembled on the changing table and I'm trying to figure out how the brains are supposed to go together like some three dimensional puzzle >f--- this, throw all the baby pieces to the garbage can >walk out, tell the russian lady it's all yours >walk away, hear a woman screaming behind me >wake up Why are all my dreams like this?
: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)01:15:45 No.62399655 >be in library >have a baby with me >baby goes uh oh stinky poop >foot change the diaper >there's some russian lady, ask her directions for the 63 KB JPG toilets where I can change >responds in broken English, she's also going there >go first >start unwrapping the package >accidentally pull too hard, both legs are now in my hand >baby screams >start sweating, we can fix this >a few moments later the whole baby is disassembled on the changing table and I'm trying to figure out how the brains are supposed to go together like some three dimensional puzzle >f--- this, throw all the baby pieces to the garbage can >walk out, tell the russian lady it's all yours >walk away, hear a woman screaming behind me >wake up Why are all my dreams like this?

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The art of de-escalation | /r/Greentext

File: juhlapuluja jpg (53 KB, 640x424) O Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri) 12:14:35 No.847760032 Being in quarantine really makes you think back to all the weird s--- you've seen. >Kópavogur, Iceland, saturday night, either 2016 or 2017, can't remember for sure >go out into clubs alone because all my schoolmates are doing something constructive >head for the smaller shady places because none of my mates ever want to go there and I want to check them out >find a loud, trashy place, few dents in the walls, folks have scars and big tattoos, icelandic pop-punk playing, ladies range from 18 to 40 but they're all in short skirts and heavy makeup >feels almost like home >there's some kind of a dance floor, looks crowded, I'm not drunk enough to dance yet but lil watch >see two dudes in the middle of it, not dancing but standing real close and staring at each other, and they don't look like they're gonna kiss >Ive worked enough with men and dogs to tell when a fight is coming >try to look for someone who looks like a bouncer, can't spot one >spot the DJ instead, communicate with my astonishingly s----- icelandic >he asks me what I want in fluent english, and I tell him those dude over there look like they're gonna fight, is there a bouncer somewhere or something >he promises he'll take care of it, keeps fiddling with the settings on his table >Ive taken 3 steps away from the DJ's box when the lights and the music stop. sudden dark silence >one single spotlight turns on, illuminating just those two dudes in the middle of the dance floor >the f------ Mortal Kombat theme starts playing >one of the dudes just f------ breaks down, starts laughing so hard he's crying >the other one looks like he's just p----- off more by this, but now everyone's staring and he can't just jump a guy who's holding onto his knee wheezing from laughter >so he just angrily storms out, apparently out of the whole club >funky lights and the normal dance music carries on like nothing happened >I get s-------- and get my wallet stolen that night, but that's a different story
File: juhlapuluja jpg (53 KB, 640x424) O Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri) 12:14:35 No.847760032 Being in quarantine really makes you think back to all the weird s--- you've seen. >Kópavogur, Iceland, saturday night, either 2016 or 2017, can't remember for sure >go out into clubs alone because all my schoolmates are doing something constructive >head for the smaller shady places because none of my mates ever want to go there and I want to check them out >find a loud, trashy place, few dents in the walls, folks have scars and big tattoos, icelandic pop-punk playing, ladies range from 18 to 40 but they're all in short skirts and heavy makeup >feels almost like home >there's some kind of a dance floor, looks crowded, I'm not drunk enough to dance yet but lil watch >see two dudes in the middle of it, not dancing but standing real close and staring at each other, and they don't look like they're gonna kiss >Ive worked enough with men and dogs to tell when a fight is coming >try to look for someone who looks like a bouncer, can't spot one >spot the DJ instead, communicate with my astonishingly s----- icelandic >he asks me what I want in fluent english, and I tell him those dude over there look like they're gonna fight, is there a bouncer somewhere or something >he promises he'll take care of it, keeps fiddling with the settings on his table >Ive taken 3 steps away from the DJ's box when the lights and the music stop. sudden dark silence >one single spotlight turns on, illuminating just those two dudes in the middle of the dance floor >the f------ Mortal Kombat theme starts playing >one of the dudes just f------ breaks down, starts laughing so hard he's crying >the other one looks like he's just p----- off more by this, but now everyone's staring and he can't just jump a guy who's holding onto his knee wheezing from laughter >so he just angrily storms out, apparently out of the whole club >funky lights and the normal dance music carries on like nothing happened >I get s-------- and get my wallet stolen that night, but that's a different story

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Anon had a good dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)03:57:15 No.62290856 >>62290541 (OP) # >get a text >look at my phone >phone screen isn't cracked >wake up >check time >phone screen is cracked
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)03:57:15 No.62290856 >>62290541 (OP) # >get a text >look at my phone >phone screen isn't cracked >wake up >check time >phone screen is cracked

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Anon have consideration | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)22:38:07 No.847742910 >posts legit p--- > uses "ducking" instead of "f------" to make it family freindly thanks anon 552 KB PNG >>847743023 #
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)22:38:07 No.847742910 >posts legit p--- > uses "ducking" instead of "f------" to make it family freindly thanks anon 552 KB PNG >>847743023 #

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Anon meets a smoker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)18:50:0 >Stranger walks up to me >"Hey, got a smoke?" >"No, sorry, I don't smoke." >"That's good. You shouldn't." %31 11 14 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)18:50:0 >Stranger walks up to me >"Hey, got a smoke?" >"No, sorry, I don't smoke." >"That's good. You shouldn't." %31 11 14 KB JPG

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

File: 2e1lxv.jpg (31 KB, 645x729) Anonymous 12/07/20(Mon)20:19:10 No.841815467 ► >>841815600 >>841815623 >>841815734 >be me >18 >lazy unproductive little s--- > dad always telling me to get a job >sick of being a retard >write up a CV >filled full of lies, but whatever >go to walmart >use way too much hand sanitizer >trip on the doormat >see the doorman >approach him, hands still lubed up with sanitizer >see his name tag >"Hello, George, I would like to hand in a CV" >looks at me with disgust, takes him a few seconds to reply >"okay, give me your CV" >go to get the CV out of my bag >forgot that i had a huge bottle of hot sauce in there >open bag >hot sauce spills >hot sauce f------ everywhere, as well as rolling papers >hand him my crumpled up CV, which is now covered in hot sauce and hand sanitizer >he looks me dead in the eye and says "i hope you get the job" >"you too" >tfw they still haven't called me back why can't i find a job?
File: 2e1lxv.jpg (31 KB, 645x729) Anonymous 12/07/20(Mon)20:19:10 No.841815467 ► >>841815600 >>841815623 >>841815734 >be me >18 >lazy unproductive little s--- > dad always telling me to get a job >sick of being a retard >write up a CV >filled full of lies, but whatever >go to walmart >use way too much hand sanitizer >trip on the doormat >see the doorman >approach him, hands still lubed up with sanitizer >see his name tag >"Hello, George, I would like to hand in a CV" >looks at me with disgust, takes him a few seconds to reply >"okay, give me your CV" >go to get the CV out of my bag >forgot that i had a huge bottle of hot sauce in there >open bag >hot sauce spills >hot sauce f------ everywhere, as well as rolling papers >hand him my crumpled up CV, which is now covered in hot sauce and hand sanitizer >he looks me dead in the eye and says "i hope you get the job" >"you too" >tfw they still haven't called me back why can't i find a job?

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Anon hates clostrophobics | /r/Greentext

No.62384065 15 hours ago >>62382958 I wish i could delete my entire childhood from my memory the amount of spreg s--- i did was unreal >be me >girl next to me off handle told me she is clostrophobic >idea.jpg >hold my hands up to form a wall >start yelling the walls are closing in the walls are closing in >she starts crying >get yelled at by teacher but still somehow think it was funny 3 replies
No.62384065 15 hours ago >>62382958 I wish i could delete my entire childhood from my memory the amount of spreg s--- i did was unreal >be me >girl next to me off handle told me she is clostrophobic >idea.jpg >hold my hands up to form a wall >start yelling the walls are closing in the walls are closing in >she starts crying >get yelled at by teacher but still somehow think it was funny 3 replies

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Anon is a snitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)09:32:35 No.846992635 >Be me >Ex gf has a new boyfriend >Let's go stalk the guy >Finds out he has a weed buisness >Find out he's not very smart >Starting a folder with all the proofs 112 KB JPG >Send it to the police >1 month later >Friend tells me that police had a warrant for her appartment, they found out that she was storing the weed for her bf >She's sleeping in jail right now Am la genius anons ?
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)09:32:35 No.846992635 >Be me >Ex gf has a new boyfriend >Let's go stalk the guy >Finds out he has a weed buisness >Find out he's not very smart >Starting a folder with all the proofs 112 KB JPG >Send it to the police >1 month later >Friend tells me that police had a warrant for her appartment, they found out that she was storing the weed for her bf >She's sleeping in jail right now Am la genius anons ?

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Anon was found | /r/Greentext

>be me >sign up for twitter >shitpost >make unfunny jokes >alt girl warns me to stop >ignore cause f--- them >wake up next morning >house on fire >the alt girl army has found me
>be me >sign up for twitter >shitpost >make unfunny jokes >alt girl warns me to stop >ignore cause f--- them >wake up next morning >house on fire >the alt girl army has found me

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Anon gets a rose | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous diverting expecation 02/12/21(Fri)08:08:54 No.62293177 My friend got cucked by the teacher. Comedy ensues. >be my friend >edgy 17yo ultravirgin >literally no contacts to women >diealone.jpg >enough of a nihilist to not care about 31 KB JPG building contacts so lack of p---- is normal >ffw to valentine day >people are giving out roses at school >typical social f--- and chads getting useless attention >"hey anon there is a rose for you" >What.mp3 >so there is someone who cares about me >images of a shy girl confessing pop up in head >beautiful relationship of pure love >a ray of hope through all the sadness of the world >Finally some p---- >the rose has a message >anticipation is through the roof >can't wait to boast about p---- slaying to my friend >"hang in there bud" -teacher >dread.jpg >tfw I am so depressed that only hope of getting recognition is pity >friends laughing their asses off >go home >get naked >pop open a bottle of booze f------ chads gamers rise up
: Anonymous diverting expecation 02/12/21(Fri)08:08:54 No.62293177 My friend got cucked by the teacher. Comedy ensues. >be my friend >edgy 17yo ultravirgin >literally no contacts to women >diealone.jpg >enough of a nihilist to not care about 31 KB JPG building contacts so lack of p---- is normal >ffw to valentine day >people are giving out roses at school >typical social f--- and chads getting useless attention >"hey anon there is a rose for you" >What.mp3 >so there is someone who cares about me >images of a shy girl confessing pop up in head >beautiful relationship of pure love >a ray of hope through all the sadness of the world >Finally some p---- >the rose has a message >anticipation is through the roof >can't wait to boast about p---- slaying to my friend >"hang in there bud" -teacher >dread.jpg >tfw I am so depressed that only hope of getting recognition is pity >friends laughing their asses off >go home >get naked >pop open a bottle of booze f------ chads gamers rise up

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Anon loves his grandpa | /r/Greentext

>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me
>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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Anon doesn't have regrets | /r/Greentext

>be me 6 years ago >16 year old no gf virgin >whole region has power outage >spotty recovery so everyone goes to library for internet >computer to my right taken by qt 3.14 punk girl in houndstooth jacket >she starts browsing /x/ >want to say something but too embarrased with mom to my left >she leaves >be me today >21 year old no gf virgin >know now i was so f------ ugly back then she wouldn't have talked to me anyway >tfw no regret
>be me 6 years ago >16 year old no gf virgin >whole region has power outage >spotty recovery so everyone goes to library for internet >computer to my right taken by qt 3.14 punk girl in houndstooth jacket >she starts browsing /x/ >want to say something but too embarrased with mom to my left >she leaves >be me today >21 year old no gf virgin >know now i was so f------ ugly back then she wouldn't have talked to me anyway >tfw no regret

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How could you be so Heartless | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)03:42:38 No.543743709 BRADYGAMES SIGNATURE SERIES GUIDE TAKE YOUR GAME FURTHEE" DisNEr I IARC ENDX INHDOID HEARS COVERS PLAYSAON2 COMPUTER ENTERAINMENT SYSTEM BASED ON A GAME RATED BY THE ESRB Writen by Eizobeth Holinger, with Matt Berner, Dovid Cassady& Greg Sepelok bvg SQUARE ENIX. IMG_20210209_223238_273.jpg 94 KB JPG >Be me at age 10 >Parents leaving for the weekend for their anniversary >Best friend comes over. His parents live across the street and don't mind if he stays over >Older sister doesn't give a damn what we do as long as we're quiet... >Get a huge mountain of soda, chips, order some pizzas, and any other kind of junk food we could find at the gas station down the road. >Hitch up the PS2 >Pop in the new game... >And crack open this m----------- The single greatest night of my childhood
Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)03:42:38 No.543743709 BRADYGAMES SIGNATURE SERIES GUIDE TAKE YOUR GAME FURTHEE" DisNEr I IARC ENDX INHDOID HEARS COVERS PLAYSAON2 COMPUTER ENTERAINMENT SYSTEM BASED ON A GAME RATED BY THE ESRB Writen by Eizobeth Holinger, with Matt Berner, Dovid Cassady& Greg Sepelok bvg SQUARE ENIX. IMG_20210209_223238_273.jpg 94 KB JPG >Be me at age 10 >Parents leaving for the weekend for their anniversary >Best friend comes over. His parents live across the street and don't mind if he stays over >Older sister doesn't give a damn what we do as long as we're quiet... >Get a huge mountain of soda, chips, order some pizzas, and any other kind of junk food we could find at the gas station down the road. >Hitch up the PS2 >Pop in the new game... >And crack open this m----------- The single greatest night of my childhood

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Anon can't find his wine | /r/Greentext

No.62391738 24 minutes ago >buy a bag of random stuff, a 2-liter of pop, and a bottle of wine >go through self checkout and leave >go home and put stuff away >can't find wine >look everywhere, it's not in my car or anywhere in the house >go back to the store and assumel left it there >customer service tells me to bring another one up >do so >OG customer service lady is gone and have to re-explain the situation >thought I left the wine at the self checkout and just wanted a new one >lady calls loss prevention >loss prevention checks the cameras and makes me wait 20 minutes >comes back out and tells me she saw me take all the bags >ask her if she's sure and if she saw the next customer take it maybe? >she says no, the bags were flat >get infuriated >leave and yell F--- THIS PLACE >go home >find wine on floor behind something
No.62391738 24 minutes ago >buy a bag of random stuff, a 2-liter of pop, and a bottle of wine >go through self checkout and leave >go home and put stuff away >can't find wine >look everywhere, it's not in my car or anywhere in the house >go back to the store and assumel left it there >customer service tells me to bring another one up >do so >OG customer service lady is gone and have to re-explain the situation >thought I left the wine at the self checkout and just wanted a new one >lady calls loss prevention >loss prevention checks the cameras and makes me wait 20 minutes >comes back out and tells me she saw me take all the bags >ask her if she's sure and if she saw the next customer take it maybe? >she says no, the bags were flat >get infuriated >leave and yell F--- THIS PLACE >go home >find wine on floor behind something

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