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This is your Captain speaking | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)22:48:26 No.1953297 File: birdpepe.jpg (36 KB, 600x600) >>1953300 >>1953377 >>1953452 >be me 26 year old CA >flight attendant is a loose cannon >shrillest voice in the industry >can hear her giving safety announcements through the door even with our noise- cancelling headsets on >be pulling into gate to park >20 feet to go >suddenly hear flight attendant start shrieking >she is yelling at passengers to sit down because we're not at the gate yet >didn't even bother to use the PA, just f------ yelled using her painfully shrill voice >LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE SEAT BELT SIGN IS STILL ON, REMAIN SEATED >10 feet to go >I look at my FO >apologize for what's about to happen >he realizes what I'm about to do >eyes go wide, face goes pale >she's still yelling >5 feet >I haven't slowed down yet >lord have mercy on my soul >2 feet >Marshal gives a panicked X with his wands >this is the moment >I stomp on the brakes with my entire body weight >the aircraft comes to a violent stop, lurching forward and see-sawing while the landing gear attempts to absorb the sudden momentum shift >rightontheline.tiff >l hear someone in the back scream >a handful of people fall over and onto other passengers >other passengers p-----, why TF were these morons unbuckling, standing, and falling all over us >give a fake apology over the PA about the sudden stop, blame the ramp crew >some passengers give me a knowing smirk while they deplane >flight attendant thanks me for validating her sperging >mfw 76 people will never unbuckle during taxi ever again
O Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)22:48:26 No.1953297 File: birdpepe.jpg (36 KB, 600x600) >>1953300 >>1953377 >>1953452 >be me 26 year old CA >flight attendant is a loose cannon >shrillest voice in the industry >can hear her giving safety announcements through the door even with our noise- cancelling headsets on >be pulling into gate to park >20 feet to go >suddenly hear flight attendant start shrieking >she is yelling at passengers to sit down because we're not at the gate yet >didn't even bother to use the PA, just f------ yelled using her painfully shrill voice >LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE SEAT BELT SIGN IS STILL ON, REMAIN SEATED >10 feet to go >I look at my FO >apologize for what's about to happen >he realizes what I'm about to do >eyes go wide, face goes pale >she's still yelling >5 feet >I haven't slowed down yet >lord have mercy on my soul >2 feet >Marshal gives a panicked X with his wands >this is the moment >I stomp on the brakes with my entire body weight >the aircraft comes to a violent stop, lurching forward and see-sawing while the landing gear attempts to absorb the sudden momentum shift >rightontheline.tiff >l hear someone in the back scream >a handful of people fall over and onto other passengers >other passengers p-----, why TF were these morons unbuckling, standing, and falling all over us >give a fake apology over the PA about the sudden stop, blame the ramp crew >some passengers give me a knowing smirk while they deplane >flight attendant thanks me for validating her sperging >mfw 76 people will never unbuckle during taxi ever again

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The defenses have to hold | /r/Greentext

File: st,small,507x507-pad,600x(..).jpg (40 KB, 600x600) O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)06:47:22 No.62277845 [Reply] ►>>62278263 >Be me >Working from home, get email that new "Corporate Facebook" thing called Yammer for my company and sister-companies to use. >sign up, set profile picture to image related, post every morning some variation of "Have an awesome day everyone! :)" >Manager calls me last night >"Someone from the sister-company complained your profile picture was racist" he says >"How.. is Pepe, a smiling happy frog, racist?" >He does some quick googling, takes my side, but says he still has to ask me to change it because someone got the wrong idea >okfine.jpg >Spend a few hours frustrated, email him 4 paragraph email on how Pepe isn't racist, Hong Kong protesters use it, it originated from the "Boys club" comic, etc. Say whoever complained is completely wrong, and I am not going to use Yammer any more. His move, let's see what happens today boys, should I update? I have literally over 100k Pepe's on my PC, and it's only racist if you make it racist. I just want to use my happy frog and be happy.
File: st,small,507x507-pad,600x(..).jpg (40 KB, 600x600) O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)06:47:22 No.62277845 [Reply] ►>>62278263 >Be me >Working from home, get email that new "Corporate Facebook" thing called Yammer for my company and sister-companies to use. >sign up, set profile picture to image related, post every morning some variation of "Have an awesome day everyone! :)" >Manager calls me last night >"Someone from the sister-company complained your profile picture was racist" he says >"How.. is Pepe, a smiling happy frog, racist?" >He does some quick googling, takes my side, but says he still has to ask me to change it because someone got the wrong idea >okfine.jpg >Spend a few hours frustrated, email him 4 paragraph email on how Pepe isn't racist, Hong Kong protesters use it, it originated from the "Boys club" comic, etc. Say whoever complained is completely wrong, and I am not going to use Yammer any more. His move, let's see what happens today boys, should I update? I have literally over 100k Pepe's on my PC, and it's only racist if you make it racist. I just want to use my happy frog and be happy.

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Alien Anon makes contact with human anons | /r/Greentext

1487814942468.jpg (11 KB, 247x327) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 69LMHPIK) E 02/22/17(Wed)19:53:55 No.113899337 >>113900328 >>113900346 >>113900361 >>113900362 >>113900564 >>113900 >>113902357 >>113902550 >>113903181 >>113903295 Be prepared. This is not a warning, this is a threat. We are coming. We will not be persuaded by your leaders or your people. You have been warned. Anonymous (ID: EBF2YQ/3) E 02/22/17(Wed)19:54:36 No.113899432 Anonymous (ID: 4qAUTGgi) 02/22/17(Wed)20:15:05 No.113902240 22113899432 aliens confirmed retarded >>113899337 (OP) >this is not a warning >you have been warned
1487814942468.jpg (11 KB, 247x327) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 69LMHPIK) E 02/22/17(Wed)19:53:55 No.113899337 >>113900328 >>113900346 >>113900361 >>113900362 >>113900564 >>113900 >>113902357 >>113902550 >>113903181 >>113903295 Be prepared. This is not a warning, this is a threat. We are coming. We will not be persuaded by your leaders or your people. You have been warned. Anonymous (ID: EBF2YQ/3) E 02/22/17(Wed)19:54:36 No.113899432 Anonymous (ID: 4qAUTGgi) 02/22/17(Wed)20:15:05 No.113902240 22113899432 aliens confirmed retarded >>113899337 (OP) >this is not a warning >you have been warned

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Anon likes beans. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)14:23:18 No.847133137 > Be me, 20. > Love beans, love how they taste, love how 6 days worth of food is 2 dollars. > worship Bush every night > friends think I'm gross, think beans are trashy > Try to explain to them that literally every nutrient you could ever need is in BUSH'S BEST Original NEO BAKED BEANS MGH N FA 317 KB JPG beans, its a nectar of the gods. > Call me names like filthy and stinky > "Anon, why do you fart so much?" > "Anon, you're making me waste all my money on candles, please go be smelly somewhere else" > Finally roommate says something that hits really hard > Realize I may never have a wife unless she's both deaf and nose-blind Or I give up beans > The choice here is obvious >I fall further into my self-destructive spiral and addiction to beans, I sacrifice all my basic needs for beans > stop drinking water, bushs bean juice will suffice > drop out of college to continue my studies in beans. > family refuses to speak to me, or even come within 10 feet of my bean forcefield > Decide l'll show the world this wasn't all for nothing > Spend a full week eating beans til my stomach physically can't take anymore. > Empty cans everywhere, paychecks all gone. > Already gained 20 pounds > If I eat one more bean ill explode like that scene in Monty Python Meaning of Life > Step outside. > My jaw unhinges to open my mouth to an inhuman diameter >I suck in all air within a 1 mile radius like Kirby. > Even inhale my neighbor while I'm at it. > Everyone's in shock, paralyzed in fear. > They know something's coming but don't even have the time to realize it > In an instant, the air in my stomach collides with the sulfur of the beans with such force that it has knocked off a neutron > something once thought to be impossible > invent the first radioactive sulfur isotope, with such untapped raw power, it makes humanities most powerful warheads look like bottle rockets. > squeeze my cheeks together > release Tsar Farta > My face melts off > The international space station wobbles View Thread
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)14:23:18 No.847133137 > Be me, 20. > Love beans, love how they taste, love how 6 days worth of food is 2 dollars. > worship Bush every night > friends think I'm gross, think beans are trashy > Try to explain to them that literally every nutrient you could ever need is in BUSH'S BEST Original NEO BAKED BEANS MGH N FA 317 KB JPG beans, its a nectar of the gods. > Call me names like filthy and stinky > "Anon, why do you fart so much?" > "Anon, you're making me waste all my money on candles, please go be smelly somewhere else" > Finally roommate says something that hits really hard > Realize I may never have a wife unless she's both deaf and nose-blind Or I give up beans > The choice here is obvious >I fall further into my self-destructive spiral and addiction to beans, I sacrifice all my basic needs for beans > stop drinking water, bushs bean juice will suffice > drop out of college to continue my studies in beans. > family refuses to speak to me, or even come within 10 feet of my bean forcefield > Decide l'll show the world this wasn't all for nothing > Spend a full week eating beans til my stomach physically can't take anymore. > Empty cans everywhere, paychecks all gone. > Already gained 20 pounds > If I eat one more bean ill explode like that scene in Monty Python Meaning of Life > Step outside. > My jaw unhinges to open my mouth to an inhuman diameter >I suck in all air within a 1 mile radius like Kirby. > Even inhale my neighbor while I'm at it. > Everyone's in shock, paralyzed in fear. > They know something's coming but don't even have the time to realize it > In an instant, the air in my stomach collides with the sulfur of the beans with such force that it has knocked off a neutron > something once thought to be impossible > invent the first radioactive sulfur isotope, with such untapped raw power, it makes humanities most powerful warheads look like bottle rockets. > squeeze my cheeks together > release Tsar Farta > My face melts off > The international space station wobbles View Thread

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Sage advice | /r/Greentext

File: kermit-the-frog-recording(.).jpg (12 KB, 288x288) O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)14:50:42 No.847138993 [Reply] how can someone be around females in public and not come off as a desperate loser? Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)14:52:13 No.847139091 Step one: stop calling them "females" like some autist.
File: kermit-the-frog-recording(.).jpg (12 KB, 288x288) O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)14:50:42 No.847138993 [Reply] how can someone be around females in public and not come off as a desperate loser? Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)14:52:13 No.847139091 Step one: stop calling them "females" like some autist.

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You are not special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)23:34:27 No.146410665 >MY LIFE IS PEACEFUL AND I HAVE NO PHYSICAL THREATS AND PLENTY OF FOOD 97 KB JPG AAAAAAAAAAАННННННННННННННННННННННН ННННННННННННННННН >l'M LITERALLY GOING INSANE : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)23:36:56 No.146410766 >NOO00000000000000 I HAVE TO WORK IN AN AIR CONDITIONED OFFICE ALL DAY INSTEAD OF DOING HARD MANUAL LABOR FOR 12 HOURS AAAAAAААAАННННННН НELP МЕ
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)23:34:27 No.146410665 >MY LIFE IS PEACEFUL AND I HAVE NO PHYSICAL THREATS AND PLENTY OF FOOD 97 KB JPG AAAAAAAAAAАННННННННННННННННННННННН ННННННННННННННННН >l'M LITERALLY GOING INSANE : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)23:36:56 No.146410766 >NOO00000000000000 I HAVE TO WORK IN AN AIR CONDITIONED OFFICE ALL DAY INSTEAD OF DOING HARD MANUAL LABOR FOR 12 HOURS AAAAAAААAАННННННН НELP МЕ

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Brain cloud | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)00:01:29 No.146411840 >have comfy job I enjoy >can watch videos and listen to music all day while I work >but for no reason I can't stand being there 3.29 MB GIF >walk in at exactly 8am and walk out the second it hits 4pm even if I'm mid conversation >get home and do literally the exact same s--- I do at work for fun I can't understand it
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)00:01:29 No.146411840 >have comfy job I enjoy >can watch videos and listen to music all day while I work >but for no reason I can't stand being there 3.29 MB GIF >walk in at exactly 8am and walk out the second it hits 4pm even if I'm mid conversation >get home and do literally the exact same s--- I do at work for fun I can't understand it

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Anon's trash story | /r/Greentext

File: 1613036605958.jpg (79 KB, 982x539) Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)18:35:45 No.847104668 >be me >too lazy to throw out trash >trash can is 600 meters away >they are starting to smell really bad idea.exe >take empty Amazon box >tape it as pefectly i can to look brand new >put it out in front of door >1 days passess >wake up >go to check package >its gonne xd.png >next day two n------ come at my door knocking >open door >see package >they are angry as f--- >short n---- says something in the words of why did you pranked us n---- what.jpeg >close door from fear >call police cause they wouldn't leave >they hear sirens and run away mfw f------ left the package on my front door again <> Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)18:38:54 No.847104802 ► >>847104846 >>847104668_(OP) cool story /b/ro
File: 1613036605958.jpg (79 KB, 982x539) Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)18:35:45 No.847104668 >be me >too lazy to throw out trash >trash can is 600 meters away >they are starting to smell really bad idea.exe >take empty Amazon box >tape it as pefectly i can to look brand new >put it out in front of door >1 days passess >wake up >go to check package >its gonne xd.png >next day two n------ come at my door knocking >open door >see package >they are angry as f--- >short n---- says something in the words of why did you pranked us n---- what.jpeg >close door from fear >call police cause they wouldn't leave >they hear sirens and run away mfw f------ left the package on my front door again <> Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)18:38:54 No.847104802 ► >>847104846 >>847104668_(OP) cool story /b/ro

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Anon married his college girlfriend | /r/Greentext

File: j2h5kl23jjh534jk.jpg (10 KB, 300x168) Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)13:09:05 No.847128522 [Reply] >be me >got married to college girlfriend >she was beautiful, fit, hot, sexy 9/10 >she packed on about 100 pounds over the next four years >completely lost all attraction to her >tried to get us into fitness >tried to get us to eat healthy >she never did. always got mad that I was "pressuring" her to get thin for me >problems in the bedroom because I wasn't attracted to her >couldn't get it up. she was too fat and repulsive >ends in divorce today, two years later >she started working out and eating healthy >lost all the weight >now hotter than before we got married >posts before/after pictures on social media all the time. everyone praising her >"if he doesn't love me at my worst, he doesn't deserve me at my best" >but she only started getting better after we got divorced >WHAT THE F---
File: j2h5kl23jjh534jk.jpg (10 KB, 300x168) Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)13:09:05 No.847128522 [Reply] >be me >got married to college girlfriend >she was beautiful, fit, hot, sexy 9/10 >she packed on about 100 pounds over the next four years >completely lost all attraction to her >tried to get us into fitness >tried to get us to eat healthy >she never did. always got mad that I was "pressuring" her to get thin for me >problems in the bedroom because I wasn't attracted to her >couldn't get it up. she was too fat and repulsive >ends in divorce today, two years later >she started working out and eating healthy >lost all the weight >now hotter than before we got married >posts before/after pictures on social media all the time. everyone praising her >"if he doesn't love me at my worst, he doesn't deserve me at my best" >but she only started getting better after we got divorced >WHAT THE F---

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Anon hates his son. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21 (Thu)12:05:46 No.847128271 I low key hate my son. I gotta get this off my chest. >Be me 20 years ago. 1999. Complete nerd. >Nintendo all day long. No social life. 75 KB JPG >S--- at sports. >Couldn't talk to girls. School sucked. School dances sucked. >Tried working out and getting fit but my social awkwardness was always my downfall. >Lost virginity to fat ugly girl in senior year. We hooked up a bunch of times. >She got pregnant. >We got married because of the kid. >My dreams of being a traveller out the f------ window. >Broke as s---. S----- apartment. Fast forward 20 years. 2019 >I lost all muscle, balding hard core, and l'm a solid 2/10. I've only gotten uglier. S--- self esteem. >My wife is fatter than ever. Diabetic now. >Tried to start my own IT company. Struggling financially. >but my son.... my f------ son... that f------ offspring that ruined my life >My son works out, charismatic, plays basketball and volleyball in college >My son is the Chad I always wanted to be >My son is g----------- left right and center. I see his snapchats from another account. >He's having threeways and partying with these hot college girls I could only j------- to online. >Straight A student too >He's living the life I always wanted when I was his age. >l'm proud of him, sure, but I hate that I never got to live the life he did. >l can't anymore. I regret not being like that. >My son has no idea how much I struggled and it's thrown in my face every time I see him date another girl. >I look at my wife and I cry. What do I do? How do I get throught this?
: Anonymous 02/11/21 (Thu)12:05:46 No.847128271 I low key hate my son. I gotta get this off my chest. >Be me 20 years ago. 1999. Complete nerd. >Nintendo all day long. No social life. 75 KB JPG >S--- at sports. >Couldn't talk to girls. School sucked. School dances sucked. >Tried working out and getting fit but my social awkwardness was always my downfall. >Lost virginity to fat ugly girl in senior year. We hooked up a bunch of times. >She got pregnant. >We got married because of the kid. >My dreams of being a traveller out the f------ window. >Broke as s---. S----- apartment. Fast forward 20 years. 2019 >I lost all muscle, balding hard core, and l'm a solid 2/10. I've only gotten uglier. S--- self esteem. >My wife is fatter than ever. Diabetic now. >Tried to start my own IT company. Struggling financially. >but my son.... my f------ son... that f------ offspring that ruined my life >My son works out, charismatic, plays basketball and volleyball in college >My son is the Chad I always wanted to be >My son is g----------- left right and center. I see his snapchats from another account. >He's having threeways and partying with these hot college girls I could only j------- to online. >Straight A student too >He's living the life I always wanted when I was his age. >l'm proud of him, sure, but I hate that I never got to live the life he did. >l can't anymore. I regret not being like that. >My son has no idea how much I struggled and it's thrown in my face every time I see him date another girl. >I look at my wife and I cry. What do I do? How do I get throught this?

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Anon may be gay | /r/Greentext

> be me > taking a s--- > oh_man_its_pretty_big.exe > comes out > feeling satisfied.mp3 > ah yees > flush it > mfw its bigger than my d--- > mfw i liked it am i gay ?
> be me > taking a s--- > oh_man_its_pretty_big.exe > comes out > feeling satisfied.mp3 > ah yees > flush it > mfw its bigger than my d--- > mfw i liked it am i gay ?

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/tv/ explains a tradition to his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)15:24:15 No.139971074 Goose.jpg 289 KB JPG >See that guy posted the letter N, now I have to reply to him with the letter I
: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)15:24:15 No.139971074 Goose.jpg 289 KB JPG >See that guy posted the letter N, now I have to reply to him with the letter I

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Anon plays healer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:30:28 No.543918161 yuck_1600.jpg 189 KB JPG >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >he's a healer : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:33:21 No.543918434 Healer is actually the most alpha class Without you the entire group would fail You are keeping everyone alive
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:30:28 No.543918161 yuck_1600.jpg 189 KB JPG >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >he's a healer : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:33:21 No.543918434 Healer is actually the most alpha class Without you the entire group would fail You are keeping everyone alive

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Anon's piss bottle problem | /r/Greentext

>>847098442 >be 15 year old me >absolutely disgusting neet goblin >drink a s--- ton of pic related, several per day >literally just piss in all of them and toss them around the room >fast forward a few years >moving out and have to clean room >well over a decade of f------ piss bottles >spend several days filling up backpack with piss bottles, walking them into the woods and dumping them >by the time i am done there is this f------ massive pile of hundreds of piss bottles in a small clearing sometimes i wonder if i could see them on google maps. think i'm gonna check
>>847098442 >be 15 year old me >absolutely disgusting neet goblin >drink a s--- ton of pic related, several per day >literally just piss in all of them and toss them around the room >fast forward a few years >moving out and have to clean room >well over a decade of f------ piss bottles >spend several days filling up backpack with piss bottles, walking them into the woods and dumping them >by the time i am done there is this f------ massive pile of hundreds of piss bottles in a small clearing sometimes i wonder if i could see them on google maps. think i'm gonna check

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Anon lives in a society | /r/Greentext

File: 046BF16A-EA44-4647-A4DB-2(...).jpg (75 KB, 482x427) O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:28:41 No.847094640 [Reply] >live in america + 17 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)18:47:06 No.847098578 File: 1528397862225.jpg (176 KB, 468x468) >live
File: 046BF16A-EA44-4647-A4DB-2(...).jpg (75 KB, 482x427) O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:28:41 No.847094640 [Reply] >live in america + 17 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)18:47:06 No.847098578 File: 1528397862225.jpg (176 KB, 468x468) >live

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Anon got his way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)01:51:31 No.62271235 >be me, last year >sitting in university library >headphones on, taking notes from textbook >feel tap on shoulder >ignore it, whoever it is will 611 KB PNG go away >feel tap on shoulder again >ignore again >hand is placed on my textbook and starts tapping it >painted nails, goddamnit it's a female >slide textbook away, keep ignoring >hand comes over from other side, placed on textbook yet again >grab hand and shove away as hard as I can >feel thud on the floor, can see people look out of the corner of my eye >ignore this too >subtly turn down music to listen >woman is crying, sounds like she's still laying on the floor >another female voice is talking (sounds like consolation), eventually both start moving away >get back to studying, haven't moved from my chair or even looked at them at this point >finish up a couple hours later and go back to dorm >get an email from the dean telling me that there was a complaint filed against me, have to attend meetings and go through disciplinary procedures >oh s--- I'm gonna get expelled >mfw I find out that the girl was from a feminist club and was trying to recruit me as a "male ally" >mfw there was a security camera in the library that captured everything >mfw the university dismissed the complaint and actually wanted to investigate her for instigating
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)01:51:31 No.62271235 >be me, last year >sitting in university library >headphones on, taking notes from textbook >feel tap on shoulder >ignore it, whoever it is will 611 KB PNG go away >feel tap on shoulder again >ignore again >hand is placed on my textbook and starts tapping it >painted nails, goddamnit it's a female >slide textbook away, keep ignoring >hand comes over from other side, placed on textbook yet again >grab hand and shove away as hard as I can >feel thud on the floor, can see people look out of the corner of my eye >ignore this too >subtly turn down music to listen >woman is crying, sounds like she's still laying on the floor >another female voice is talking (sounds like consolation), eventually both start moving away >get back to studying, haven't moved from my chair or even looked at them at this point >finish up a couple hours later and go back to dorm >get an email from the dean telling me that there was a complaint filed against me, have to attend meetings and go through disciplinary procedures >oh s--- I'm gonna get expelled >mfw I find out that the girl was from a feminist club and was trying to recruit me as a "male ally" >mfw there was a security camera in the library that captured everything >mfw the university dismissed the complaint and actually wanted to investigate her for instigating

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Anon becomes autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no
: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Annon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:41:08 No.62277325 >woke up from a dream where i had a gf again 49 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:41:08 No.62277325 >woke up from a dream where i had a gf again 49 KB JPG

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Anon at a party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)20:38:14 No.847109416 >at a party >girl approaches me >whispers into my ear >"come to my place and l'll beat the s--- out of you" >Why would she wanna do that? She probably meant "I want to s--- on you" 57 KB JPG >fair enough >mfw she actually beats the s--- out of me : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)20:40:10 No.847109516 >>847109416 (OP) # Back to Red dit NOW
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)20:38:14 No.847109416 >at a party >girl approaches me >whispers into my ear >"come to my place and l'll beat the s--- out of you" >Why would she wanna do that? She probably meant "I want to s--- on you" 57 KB JPG >fair enough >mfw she actually beats the s--- out of me : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)20:40:10 No.847109516 >>847109416 (OP) # Back to Red dit NOW

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Anon isn't picky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:25:37 No.62270914 >Be me >At grocery store getting general foodstuffs >Go to deli >qt3.14 behind the counter 10 KB JPG "Could I get 250 grams of sliced ham" "Is black forest okay?" >Can't hear her through the mask "Blunt force? I don't care how they kill it just the regular kind is good" >Gives me a look of disgust >... >Goddamnit >God f------ damnit Masks are making interaction 10x harder for social retards like myself
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:25:37 No.62270914 >Be me >At grocery store getting general foodstuffs >Go to deli >qt3.14 behind the counter 10 KB JPG "Could I get 250 grams of sliced ham" "Is black forest okay?" >Can't hear her through the mask "Blunt force? I don't care how they kill it just the regular kind is good" >Gives me a look of disgust >... >Goddamnit >God f------ damnit Masks are making interaction 10x harder for social retards like myself

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