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Anon got a compliment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)20:41:52 No.59973539 v 082 - xfcFWAG.png (879 KB, 680x778) google yandex iqdb wait >>59972433 (OP) >Be at work a few days ago >Walking to the cafeteria with a few co-workers >Female co-worker: "You can really tell whom works out by the way the work attire fits" >Me: What do you mean? >Her: Like you, the clothes fit so good like it's custom tailored, especially the shoulders. Still thinking about it.
Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)20:41:52 No.59973539 v 082 - xfcFWAG.png (879 KB, 680x778) google yandex iqdb wait >>59972433 (OP) >Be at work a few days ago >Walking to the cafeteria with a few co-workers >Female co-worker: "You can really tell whom works out by the way the work attire fits" >Me: What do you mean? >Her: Like you, the clothes fit so good like it's custom tailored, especially the shoulders. Still thinking about it.

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Anon praise italians | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/15/18(Fri)09:47:08 No.38254737 >>38254911 >>38254980 >>38257272 >>38259506 >>38259665 >>38259884 >>38259973 >>38260451 >>38261346 >>38261583 >>38261592 >>38261967 >>38261998 >>38262007 >>38262945 File: 174.photobucket.com album().jpg (55 KB, 640x480) Italians have always copied good inventions from other cultures and made them exceptional Beretta took Walther's designs and made them sexy. They discovered noodles from China, removed the dog, and created pasta. They stole the idea of arches from the Etruscans and built colleseums and aqueducts. They took the Gladius from the celt-iberians and conquered the world with it. They learned about sex from the Greeks and realized you could also have it with women. Etc.
Anonymous 06/15/18(Fri)09:47:08 No.38254737 >>38254911 >>38254980 >>38257272 >>38259506 >>38259665 >>38259884 >>38259973 >>38260451 >>38261346 >>38261583 >>38261592 >>38261967 >>38261998 >>38262007 >>38262945 File: 174.photobucket.com album().jpg (55 KB, 640x480) Italians have always copied good inventions from other cultures and made them exceptional Beretta took Walther's designs and made them sexy. They discovered noodles from China, removed the dog, and created pasta. They stole the idea of arches from the Etruscans and built colleseums and aqueducts. They took the Gladius from the celt-iberians and conquered the world with it. They learned about sex from the Greeks and realized you could also have it with women. Etc.

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Anon is a thief | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Mozarella Theft 02/21/21(Sun)08:31:21 No.62431240 >buy 4 blocks of mozarella cheese >go through self checkout >3 are fancy kind 1 >1 is low cost discount kind >ring up low cost discount kind 4 times 25 KB JPG >say goodbye to the nice security lady out front
: Anonymous Mozarella Theft 02/21/21(Sun)08:31:21 No.62431240 >buy 4 blocks of mozarella cheese >go through self checkout >3 are fancy kind 1 >1 is low cost discount kind >ring up low cost discount kind 4 times 25 KB JPG >say goodbye to the nice security lady out front

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Anon finally makes it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/18(Thu)16:49:15 No.44875069 >fap all around my neighborhood, in bushes, behind trees etc >get noticed several times >"Police are looking for a man aged 20-30, muscular build" 158 KB JPG >"muscular build" >ffw finally made it Tell me your success stories, bros
: Anonymous 02/22/18(Thu)16:49:15 No.44875069 >fap all around my neighborhood, in bushes, behind trees etc >get noticed several times >"Police are looking for a man aged 20-30, muscular build" 158 KB JPG >"muscular build" >ffw finally made it Tell me your success stories, bros

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what have you done | /r/Greentext

File: 1346384153922.jpg-(22 KB, 398x500, Thumbs_up_kid_big.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: Uw3JUTaa) 08/30/12(Thu)23:35:53 No.422259943 Time for a story, /b/ >Bring girlfriend home >No one else is there >Ask for a b------ >She give it >S--- is cash >uh oh >S--- is literal cash >start rocketing 50's out of my ass >Never stops >Nation wide inflation occurs >Thousands of families lose their jobs and homes >America loses its position as a super power >Russia sees our weakness >After 17 long years of war, America falls >Russia takes over, enstates communism >Because of communist laws, my girlfiend is entitled to a b------ >She begins s------- rubbles, 10,000 a second >inflation occurs again >Russian controlled America falls victim to widespread poverty >The cycle continues >mfw despite spiraling the world into chaos I still got head Anonymous (ID: 6timwWoF) 08/30/12(Thu)23:36:36 No.422260087 wat Anonymous (ID: 12TZNJ+A) 08/30/12(Thu)23:37:27 No.422260236 wat Anonymous (ID: FZIVPL9X) 08/30/12(Thu)23:38:04 No.422260347 wat
File: 1346384153922.jpg-(22 KB, 398x500, Thumbs_up_kid_big.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: Uw3JUTaa) 08/30/12(Thu)23:35:53 No.422259943 Time for a story, /b/ >Bring girlfriend home >No one else is there >Ask for a b------ >She give it >S--- is cash >uh oh >S--- is literal cash >start rocketing 50's out of my ass >Never stops >Nation wide inflation occurs >Thousands of families lose their jobs and homes >America loses its position as a super power >Russia sees our weakness >After 17 long years of war, America falls >Russia takes over, enstates communism >Because of communist laws, my girlfiend is entitled to a b------ >She begins s------- rubbles, 10,000 a second >inflation occurs again >Russian controlled America falls victim to widespread poverty >The cycle continues >mfw despite spiraling the world into chaos I still got head Anonymous (ID: 6timwWoF) 08/30/12(Thu)23:36:36 No.422260087 wat Anonymous (ID: 12TZNJ+A) 08/30/12(Thu)23:37:27 No.422260236 wat Anonymous (ID: FZIVPL9X) 08/30/12(Thu)23:38:04 No.422260347 wat

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Anon is sneaky | /r/Greentext

File: CD2A9086-BF36-4583-9397-6(...).jpg (10 KB, 300x250) O Anonymous 11/23/19(Sat)06:01:06 No.814682992 >be 22-year-old manchild >get new girlfriend >8/10 >f--- all the time >still play video games >still watch movies >still party with friends >dream life >i'm lovin' it >girlfriend allows it >but says things are gonna change once we have kids >three years go by >still living it up >girlfriend's getting impatient >wants to settle down >wants to seriously try for baby >f--- to our hearts' content >no pregnancies >girlfriend's frustrated as hell >breaks up with me >walks out door >devilish_smirk.jpg >mfw i got a vasectomy 2 years before we met
File: CD2A9086-BF36-4583-9397-6(...).jpg (10 KB, 300x250) O Anonymous 11/23/19(Sat)06:01:06 No.814682992 >be 22-year-old manchild >get new girlfriend >8/10 >f--- all the time >still play video games >still watch movies >still party with friends >dream life >i'm lovin' it >girlfriend allows it >but says things are gonna change once we have kids >three years go by >still living it up >girlfriend's getting impatient >wants to settle down >wants to seriously try for baby >f--- to our hearts' content >no pregnancies >girlfriend's frustrated as hell >breaks up with me >walks out door >devilish_smirk.jpg >mfw i got a vasectomy 2 years before we met

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Anon moves to Alabama | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.
Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.

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Anon tries lifting in the dark | /r/Greentext

F748910B-1FE5-408B-90AA-55E16AED1C16.jpg 1.92 MB JPG Anybody ever try lifting in the dark? My mom grounded me from the gym light because I'm always leaving it on; so I just haven't been using it. I don't even need to use the mirror anymore to know I have good form. Thread Theme: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p32b5 nNq1zw [Open] : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)20:46:53 No.55341825 Yeah, it's kinda based actually. What I do is pretend I'm Illidan and I was imprisoned by my brother, so to exact revenge I spend my time lifting so that I could go out and bang the s--- out of Tyrande. It's a little bit tough putting on the plates on and adjusting the safeties, but you get used to it. I like to turn on the Warcraft II OST on my bluetooth speaker and say his lines in-between my set. Makes me feel powerful and edgy. Malfurion can go f--- himself 7 KB JPG
F748910B-1FE5-408B-90AA-55E16AED1C16.jpg 1.92 MB JPG Anybody ever try lifting in the dark? My mom grounded me from the gym light because I'm always leaving it on; so I just haven't been using it. I don't even need to use the mirror anymore to know I have good form. Thread Theme: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p32b5 nNq1zw [Open] : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)20:46:53 No.55341825 Yeah, it's kinda based actually. What I do is pretend I'm Illidan and I was imprisoned by my brother, so to exact revenge I spend my time lifting so that I could go out and bang the s--- out of Tyrande. It's a little bit tough putting on the plates on and adjusting the safeties, but you get used to it. I like to turn on the Warcraft II OST on my bluetooth speaker and say his lines in-between my set. Makes me feel powerful and edgy. Malfurion can go f--- himself 7 KB JPG

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Anon has a happy dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:36:18 No.62247299 >be me in dream last night >taking a walk on a road in the middle of a field next to some guy >he's apparently a friend of mine in this dream >he's significantly taller than me and very handsome 54 KB JPG >we walk up to a crossroad >as we're about to part ways he wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses me on the head >instantly feel extreme relief and joy >he walks off and i lose sight of him >wake up Did I just become gay?
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:36:18 No.62247299 >be me in dream last night >taking a walk on a road in the middle of a field next to some guy >he's apparently a friend of mine in this dream >he's significantly taller than me and very handsome 54 KB JPG >we walk up to a crossroad >as we're about to part ways he wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses me on the head >instantly feel extreme relief and joy >he walks off and i lose sight of him >wake up Did I just become gay?

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I can't believe you've done this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File 1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334 jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave
Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File 1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334 jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave

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Anon has a panic attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the 46 KB JPG target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore
: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the 46 KB JPG target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore

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Anon buys a belt | /r/Greentext

>be black GLOCI >cant pay rent >kids are starving >just got payed GUCCI >go to mall >guccibelt.jpg 25 KB JPG >have to have it >go home >flex on kids >life is good
>be black GLOCI >cant pay rent >kids are starving >just got payed GUCCI >go to mall >guccibelt.jpg 25 KB JPG >have to have it >go home >flex on kids >life is good

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Anon has no clue | /r/Greentext

>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon fucks an alien | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)06:48:35 No.62430158 >got back from a hotel room 30 minutes ago >f----- a hot asian escort >despite being hot she also looks eerily like an alien >keep staring at her face but she seems to really enjoy it 212 KB JPG >she starts dirty talking >i'm completely horned into retardation and say YEAH TAKE THAT HUMAN D--- >she seems confused which almost makes me burst out laughing >she continues dirty talking >tell her i'm going to c-- on her alien face >she thinks i'm calling her an illegal immigrant >mfw she starts doing race based dirty talk about her being a dirty chink
: Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)06:48:35 No.62430158 >got back from a hotel room 30 minutes ago >f----- a hot asian escort >despite being hot she also looks eerily like an alien >keep staring at her face but she seems to really enjoy it 212 KB JPG >she starts dirty talking >i'm completely horned into retardation and say YEAH TAKE THAT HUMAN D--- >she seems confused which almost makes me burst out laughing >she continues dirty talking >tell her i'm going to c-- on her alien face >she thinks i'm calling her an illegal immigrant >mfw she starts doing race based dirty talk about her being a dirty chink

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RIP to my guy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6gx6JwqQ 457978523 rate me 1-10. girls say im creepy also im a virgin bcuz of that xD 02/12/2013 04:49:54 AM Anonymous x3Gpümik 457985081 You look like what happens when you click randomize in the Oblivion character creation screen 02/12/2013 05:52:01 AM Anonymous 1AQ2Wjih 457985145 >>457985081 Enter charactar name >my sides Breton 02/12/2013 05:52:39 AM Face Anonymous WcSENIZI 457985329 Oliled >>457978523 Brawn >>457985081 Compotion It. It's you! THE HERO OF KVATCH! This is truly an honour! bane 02/12/2013 05:54:26 AM
Anonymous 6gx6JwqQ 457978523 rate me 1-10. girls say im creepy also im a virgin bcuz of that xD 02/12/2013 04:49:54 AM Anonymous x3Gpümik 457985081 You look like what happens when you click randomize in the Oblivion character creation screen 02/12/2013 05:52:01 AM Anonymous 1AQ2Wjih 457985145 >>457985081 Enter charactar name >my sides Breton 02/12/2013 05:52:39 AM Face Anonymous WcSENIZI 457985329 Oliled >>457978523 Brawn >>457985081 Compotion It. It's you! THE HERO OF KVATCH! This is truly an honour! bane 02/12/2013 05:54:26 AM

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Anon moves arm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG

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Anon likes animals | /r/Greentext

>at the museum >exhibit of extinct Australian animals >dinosaurs and giant echidnas and s--- >a group of teenage girls walk around going "ew ew ew!!" Are they actually disgusted by what they see? 37 KB JPG What is going on
>at the museum >exhibit of extinct Australian animals >dinosaurs and giant echidnas and s--- >a group of teenage girls walk around going "ew ew ew!!" Are they actually disgusted by what they see? 37 KB JPG What is going on

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Anon misread the situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:05:56 No.62283737 0C5A8D42549E48788FB2C376B11649A4.jpg 308 KB JPG >just now realizing my friends gf had a crush on me 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:58:14 No.62284378 >>62283737 (OP) # she was just being nice to you because she was your friend's gf anon.
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:05:56 No.62283737 0C5A8D42549E48788FB2C376B11649A4.jpg 308 KB JPG >just now realizing my friends gf had a crush on me 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:58:14 No.62284378 >>62283737 (OP) # she was just being nice to you because she was your friend's gf anon.

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Getting your groove back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:52:13 No.62388763 All the plane of existance says is: TOIL, SUFFER, GRILL CONSUME DEGRADE >sister comes over to my parents house with my aunt and cousin because she just broke up with her bf of 7 years or so >i don't even leave my room IJUSTAVANNA because my sister is a bitch but i overhear most of her whining and 60 KB JPG crying >my sister is leaving her kid here and going to jamaica with our cousin to get stuffed full of d--- her words not mine. this is a f------ joke. the kid is already here and luckily there's a spare room anyway but what the f---.
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:52:13 No.62388763 All the plane of existance says is: TOIL, SUFFER, GRILL CONSUME DEGRADE >sister comes over to my parents house with my aunt and cousin because she just broke up with her bf of 7 years or so >i don't even leave my room IJUSTAVANNA because my sister is a bitch but i overhear most of her whining and 60 KB JPG crying >my sister is leaving her kid here and going to jamaica with our cousin to get stuffed full of d--- her words not mine. this is a f------ joke. the kid is already here and luckily there's a spare room anyway but what the f---.

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