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Anon is jelly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)11:18:23 No.846326694 > be me, have gf, have been dating for like three years > she lives in a different town now that I'm in college > been talking to girl in my class, getting to be pretty good friends, but nothing more > see her talking to another guy 4 KB JPG and get irrationally mad F---
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)11:18:23 No.846326694 > be me, have gf, have been dating for like three years > she lives in a different town now that I'm in college > been talking to girl in my class, getting to be pretty good friends, but nothing more > see her talking to another guy 4 KB JPG and get irrationally mad F---

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Anon likes horror | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:05:33 No.543598009 DAM >in uni, have to do a project for a meme subject >whatever, at least teacher is cute >have to analyze a concept that is both a product and an inspiration of post-industrial society 136 KB JPG >most students go for cookie cutter s--- like social media, television, fashion >dread the idea of having to work on a bland subject >decide to do it about horror media (especially movies) since l'm a big horror fan >literally go nuts on the project, having a shitload of fun and pouring all my autism into it >relate horror to primal fears, didactic stories, feminism, acceptable societal norms and taboos >include stories about Godzilla, Nightmare on Elm Street, Evil Dead, Cannibal Holocaust, American Psycho with gore pictures everywhere >get the best grade out of the whole class >report is full of annotations by the teacher abo horror movies recs and stuff she loved about the movies I mentionned like the final chainsaw setpiece in the Evil Dead remake. I was too beta to talk to her about it but I still remember this report as the most fun I ever had working on something in uni.
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:05:33 No.543598009 DAM >in uni, have to do a project for a meme subject >whatever, at least teacher is cute >have to analyze a concept that is both a product and an inspiration of post-industrial society 136 KB JPG >most students go for cookie cutter s--- like social media, television, fashion >dread the idea of having to work on a bland subject >decide to do it about horror media (especially movies) since l'm a big horror fan >literally go nuts on the project, having a shitload of fun and pouring all my autism into it >relate horror to primal fears, didactic stories, feminism, acceptable societal norms and taboos >include stories about Godzilla, Nightmare on Elm Street, Evil Dead, Cannibal Holocaust, American Psycho with gore pictures everywhere >get the best grade out of the whole class >report is full of annotations by the teacher abo horror movies recs and stuff she loved about the movies I mentionned like the final chainsaw setpiece in the Evil Dead remake. I was too beta to talk to her about it but I still remember this report as the most fun I ever had working on something in uni.

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anon wakes up | /r/Greentext

File: wojak-rain-feels.gif (852 KB, 500x717) Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)11:04:40 No.62245569 [Reply] >>62245671 >>62246689 >Cute girl invites me to come over to her house to work on school project >we're making quick progress >we finish early >tell her i should probably head home, don't want to be a nuisance >"aww, well that's alright, thank you for helping me" >"wait anon, before you go i want to show you something!" >"i know you said you liked this music, so i checked it out and they're pretty great!" >impressed that a girl would actually take the time to listen to my autistic taste in music >music playlist changes to some generic pop you'd hear on the radio > she's groovin >Come on anon, let's dance before you have to go! >l don't dance, i never dance. not even by myself >"uhh okay sure" >okay anon show me your moves! >i do some awkward disco moves, chicken dance >she thinks its hilarious, >i laugh harder than i have in years >music changes again, this time to a slow dance song >she yanks my hand and puts the other on her waist >anon, i absolutely love spending time with you. >"Me too, i had alot of fun today" >she smiles and looks down hiding her smile. >"Do you, like me?" >"yes of course i do! i've had a crush on you since the day we met" >"can i.?" >She closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss >i purse my lips to greet hers >RING RING RING RING RING RING >i wake up in bed >Tfw it was all a sad pathetic dream.
File: wojak-rain-feels.gif (852 KB, 500x717) Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)11:04:40 No.62245569 [Reply] >>62245671 >>62246689 >Cute girl invites me to come over to her house to work on school project >we're making quick progress >we finish early >tell her i should probably head home, don't want to be a nuisance >"aww, well that's alright, thank you for helping me" >"wait anon, before you go i want to show you something!" >"i know you said you liked this music, so i checked it out and they're pretty great!" >impressed that a girl would actually take the time to listen to my autistic taste in music >music playlist changes to some generic pop you'd hear on the radio > she's groovin >Come on anon, let's dance before you have to go! >l don't dance, i never dance. not even by myself >"uhh okay sure" >okay anon show me your moves! >i do some awkward disco moves, chicken dance >she thinks its hilarious, >i laugh harder than i have in years >music changes again, this time to a slow dance song >she yanks my hand and puts the other on her waist >anon, i absolutely love spending time with you. >"Me too, i had alot of fun today" >she smiles and looks down hiding her smile. >"Do you, like me?" >"yes of course i do! i've had a crush on you since the day we met" >"can i.?" >She closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss >i purse my lips to greet hers >RING RING RING RING RING RING >i wake up in bed >Tfw it was all a sad pathetic dream.

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There is hope | /r/Greentext

Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of 124.0 kB PNG $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >l asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now.
Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of 124.0 kB PNG $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >l asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now.

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Anon does tinder | /r/Greentext

3h (2/9 15:40) · 59765983 38 Re · 8 Img · JPG 5KB (224 × 225) 14 Replies > go onto tinder >put in my bio "female to male trans" even tho im not >leftie retard brainwashed but QT girls keep matching with me complementing and going out with me to fukk is this r---? either way I wont stop 3h (2/9 15:42) · 59765998 >>59765983 (OP) based 3h (2/9 15:42) · 59766009 1 Reply >>59765983 (OP) Doing good work, but make sure you don't get STDS from those w-----. Don't want you to any be out of commission for this.
3h (2/9 15:40) · 59765983 38 Re · 8 Img · JPG 5KB (224 × 225) 14 Replies > go onto tinder >put in my bio "female to male trans" even tho im not >leftie retard brainwashed but QT girls keep matching with me complementing and going out with me to fukk is this r---? either way I wont stop 3h (2/9 15:42) · 59765998 >>59765983 (OP) based 3h (2/9 15:42) · 59766009 1 Reply >>59765983 (OP) Doing good work, but make sure you don't get STDS from those w-----. Don't want you to any be out of commission for this.

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Anon is an actor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)16:48:30 No.543590368 1611769115326.jpg 96 KB JPG >Had to do a skit in HS English class about Macbeth with a partner in front of the class >l used a foam Minecraft iron sword as a prop
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)16:48:30 No.543590368 1611769115326.jpg 96 KB JPG >Had to do a skit in HS English class about Macbeth with a partner in front of the class >l used a foam Minecraft iron sword as a prop

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Anon makes a spear | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)15:27:32 No.846886353 Greentext thread people born today will never know what it feels like to push a >Be me sandwich >14 into a VCR. >Out in the woods with best friend >Carve sticks into spears, having a fun day >Friend goes around a bend to take a 31 KB JPG piss >Comes running back before he has a chance to рее >"Anon there's someone out here" >Ok lol it's a public forest you f----- >"You don't unders-" >Walk past him, go around bend >l see it >It's a f------ hobo having gay sex with another hobo >l gasp >They look >I look >One gets up, starts walking towards us >Scream like a f----- >Rub away, friend can't run quite as fast >He almost trips and the hobo almost gets him >l've never seen another human have such fear in his eyes >He falls, screams and gets grabbed by hobo >Eventually get to a main road >Flag down some hick in a pickup truck >It's the other hobo >Realise the other hobo is also my dad >Get r---- Anyone else got any stories?
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)15:27:32 No.846886353 Greentext thread people born today will never know what it feels like to push a >Be me sandwich >14 into a VCR. >Out in the woods with best friend >Carve sticks into spears, having a fun day >Friend goes around a bend to take a 31 KB JPG piss >Comes running back before he has a chance to рее >"Anon there's someone out here" >Ok lol it's a public forest you f----- >"You don't unders-" >Walk past him, go around bend >l see it >It's a f------ hobo having gay sex with another hobo >l gasp >They look >I look >One gets up, starts walking towards us >Scream like a f----- >Rub away, friend can't run quite as fast >He almost trips and the hobo almost gets him >l've never seen another human have such fear in his eyes >He falls, screams and gets grabbed by hobo >Eventually get to a main road >Flag down some hick in a pickup truck >It's the other hobo >Realise the other hobo is also my dad >Get r---- Anyone else got any stories?

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Anon regrets his decision | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)07:59:53 No.403338817 >live in hawaii, roommates with my sister >sister woke me up >she asked if I wanted to f--- since we were both going to die soon >i agreed I wish I was joking. F--- my life. I'm 414 KB PNG never going to live this down. >>403338945 # >>403338998 # >>403339169 # >>403339270 # >>403339604 # >>403339691 # >>403339904 # >>403340069 # >>403340167 # >>403340291 # >>403340359 # >>403340437 # >>403340482 # >>403340491 # >>403340632 # >>403341379 # >>403341618 # >>403342432 #
: Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)07:59:53 No.403338817 >live in hawaii, roommates with my sister >sister woke me up >she asked if I wanted to f--- since we were both going to die soon >i agreed I wish I was joking. F--- my life. I'm 414 KB PNG never going to live this down. >>403338945 # >>403338998 # >>403339169 # >>403339270 # >>403339604 # >>403339691 # >>403339904 # >>403340069 # >>403340167 # >>403340291 # >>403340359 # >>403340437 # >>403340482 # >>403340491 # >>403340632 # >>403341379 # >>403341618 # >>403342432 #

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Anon’s gf deletes his Pepe folder. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)10:37:54 No.846953382 >finally get gf >she's on my computer >finds my pepe folder >"anon, what are these?" >"those are for shitposting" >"you don't need these anymore now that you've got me" 151 KB PNG >*deletes pepe folder* What do? 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)10:37:54 No.846953382 >finally get gf >she's on my computer >finds my pepe folder >"anon, what are these?" >"those are for shitposting" >"you don't need these anymore now that you've got me" 151 KB PNG >*deletes pepe folder* What do? 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon writes a story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)16:39:18 No.543589415 517.jpg 555 KB JPG >be me, 11yo >creative writing assignment >FFX just came out >just copy story, change up the names >we have to read our stories to groups kids in the class below ours >little bitch says I copied the story of the new Final Fantasy, her brother played it >"I don't know what the hell you're talking about"
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)16:39:18 No.543589415 517.jpg 555 KB JPG >be me, 11yo >creative writing assignment >FFX just came out >just copy story, change up the names >we have to read our stories to groups kids in the class below ours >little bitch says I copied the story of the new Final Fantasy, her brother played it >"I don't know what the hell you're talking about"

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Anon drives | /r/Greentext

le: 1388544365742.jpg (389 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)23:24:37 No.146251787 >>146251876 >>14625 > watch Drive with a friend > he calls me one day to pick him up and drive him somewhere > while getting ready, I put on a cool jacket and quickly download the OST from Drive >I go up to his place > he is waiting, with two girls, one of whom I remember back in high school, but who never spoke to me >I greet them with a slight nod, but do not say a word when entering > a friend smiles, doesn't laugh so as not to pan my thing > the high school girl sits in the passenger seat; I always had a crush on her > she starts talking to me >I always take five seconds before answering his questions as quickly as possible > on pendant rolls silently as the OST plays That Feet > the next day my friend said the girl talked a lot about me > "Really? What did she say?" > my friend does not answer because he does not exist >I have no friends > there were no girls > I look at the ceiling of my room
le: 1388544365742.jpg (389 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)23:24:37 No.146251787 >>146251876 >>14625 > watch Drive with a friend > he calls me one day to pick him up and drive him somewhere > while getting ready, I put on a cool jacket and quickly download the OST from Drive >I go up to his place > he is waiting, with two girls, one of whom I remember back in high school, but who never spoke to me >I greet them with a slight nod, but do not say a word when entering > a friend smiles, doesn't laugh so as not to pan my thing > the high school girl sits in the passenger seat; I always had a crush on her > she starts talking to me >I always take five seconds before answering his questions as quickly as possible > on pendant rolls silently as the OST plays That Feet > the next day my friend said the girl talked a lot about me > "Really? What did she say?" > my friend does not answer because he does not exist >I have no friends > there were no girls > I look at the ceiling of my room

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I wasted some of my limited time on earth reading this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21 (Mon)15:04:33 No.846889093 >be me >invite a dude over for sex >we both are doing this for first time >he's older and closeted >pphard.jpg >ask him if he's comfortable 459 KB JPG >he says yes so I slip it in >he moans >gettinghotinhere.mp3 >he moans something quiet so I stop and ask what he said >consent is important I said “hit it like a child" >immediately go soft >tell him l'm just nervous >he leaves >go to bathroom and furiously whack it
: Anonymous 02/08/21 (Mon)15:04:33 No.846889093 >be me >invite a dude over for sex >we both are doing this for first time >he's older and closeted >pphard.jpg >ask him if he's comfortable 459 KB JPG >he says yes so I slip it in >he moans >gettinghotinhere.mp3 >he moans something quiet so I stop and ask what he said >consent is important I said “hit it like a child" >immediately go soft >tell him l'm just nervous >he leaves >go to bathroom and furiously whack it

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Just wasn't Space Force material | /r/Greentext

File: bigsad.jpg (17 KB, 320x212) O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)14:50:19 No.846888042 [Reply] I just had to send my son off into the marines he's mentally retarded and will probably die right away or kill the wrong people lol kid is such a f----- please respond and wish my retarded son luck by saying "Oorah!" and some kind words O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)14:51:37 No.846888140 He'll be fine, he sounds exactly like the average Marine.
File: bigsad.jpg (17 KB, 320x212) O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)14:50:19 No.846888042 [Reply] I just had to send my son off into the marines he's mentally retarded and will probably die right away or kill the wrong people lol kid is such a f----- please respond and wish my retarded son luck by saying "Oorah!" and some kind words O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)14:51:37 No.846888140 He'll be fine, he sounds exactly like the average Marine.

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/fit/izen doing what he loves most. | /r/Greentext

File: images (53).jpg (8 KB, 226x223) O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:23:55 No.59757739 >>59757772 Started training legs late last year more >girl over watching movie on the couch >she mires my arms and chest >sits on top and kisses me >wraps legs around waist and I go to get up and carry to double couch >similar to a 55kg box squat? >sit down on couch again and then stand up again while keeping tension in my quads >repeat 3 times while she's kissing so doesn't really notice >just did one set of x4 box squats >idea.png >stand up and carry her across house to bedroom in similar to lunge motion >mfw i did a leg workout when I was supposed to have sex >l was so happy guys, I finally started to feel good about my legs recently and this topped it off Super stoked and went to the gym the next day in my short shorts and hit legs Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:26:41 No.59757772 >>59757832 >>59757849 >>59757739 (OP) Based. What do you do for legs mate >> Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:31:04 No.59757832 >>59757875 >>59757772 He squats thots
File: images (53).jpg (8 KB, 226x223) O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:23:55 No.59757739 >>59757772 Started training legs late last year more >girl over watching movie on the couch >she mires my arms and chest >sits on top and kisses me >wraps legs around waist and I go to get up and carry to double couch >similar to a 55kg box squat? >sit down on couch again and then stand up again while keeping tension in my quads >repeat 3 times while she's kissing so doesn't really notice >just did one set of x4 box squats >idea.png >stand up and carry her across house to bedroom in similar to lunge motion >mfw i did a leg workout when I was supposed to have sex >l was so happy guys, I finally started to feel good about my legs recently and this topped it off Super stoked and went to the gym the next day in my short shorts and hit legs Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:26:41 No.59757772 >>59757832 >>59757849 >>59757739 (OP) Based. What do you do for legs mate >> Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:31:04 No.59757832 >>59757875 >>59757772 He squats thots

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Anon decides to fap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >l literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...
Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >l literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...

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Femanon just needs help | /r/Greentext

File: F836349E-5FEC-412A-BF83-B(...).jpg (31 KB, 828x745) O Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:31:47 No.846934026 ► >>8 >>846934264 >>846934298 >>846934359 >>846934388 >>846934390 >>846 >>846935763 >>846935766 >>846935778 >>846935897 >>846936344 >>846 >>846940211 >>846940430 >>846940459 >>846940874 >>846941020 >>846 >>846945954 >>846946985 >>846947441 >>846947727 >be me >girl >have a s----- life >post about it on 4chan looking for some kind of help >mention l'm a girl on post >get virtually r---- by neckbeards
File: F836349E-5FEC-412A-BF83-B(...).jpg (31 KB, 828x745) O Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:31:47 No.846934026 ► >>8 >>846934264 >>846934298 >>846934359 >>846934388 >>846934390 >>846 >>846935763 >>846935766 >>846935778 >>846935897 >>846936344 >>846 >>846940211 >>846940430 >>846940459 >>846940874 >>846941020 >>846 >>846945954 >>846946985 >>846947441 >>846947727 >be me >girl >have a s----- life >post about it on 4chan looking for some kind of help >mention l'm a girl on post >get virtually r---- by neckbeards

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Silence not violence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymóuš 02/0 |(Sun)18:51:53 Nó.146252871 >cook some tasty food >crack open a cold beer >turn on some kino >primed for optimum kino viewing experience >start watching kino 150 KB JPG >neighbours dog starts barking >car alarm goes off >birds chirping loudly >people having loud conversation outside window >plane flies overhead 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)18:54:03 No.146252960 >mom starts vacuuming 112 KB PNG
: Anonymóuš 02/0 |(Sun)18:51:53 Nó.146252871 >cook some tasty food >crack open a cold beer >turn on some kino >primed for optimum kino viewing experience >start watching kino 150 KB JPG >neighbours dog starts barking >car alarm goes off >birds chirping loudly >people having loud conversation outside window >plane flies overhead 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)18:54:03 No.146252960 >mom starts vacuuming 112 KB PNG

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Anon is not even German | /r/Greentext

B7ykhpZCMAlmkPR[1].jpg (67 KB, 600x436) google igdb wait I Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:46:51 No.30903012 v >>30903052 >>30903058 >>30903079 >>30903110 >>30903151 >>30903168 >>30903205 >>30903248 >>30903317 >>30903518 >>30903524 >>30903537 >>30903653 >>30903688 >>30904260 >>30904268 >>30904343 >>30904353 >>30904581 >>30905773 >>30906176 >>30906196 >>30906211 >>30906252 >>30906715 >>30909832 >>30910199 A fairy appears and says you can have any single gun in the world for free. You cannot sell the gun or trade it, you must keep it. If your country has any firearm laws preventing it, they make an exception for you. What do you choose and why? E I Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:50:15 No.30903048 v Orban cannon. 69dabf1f04ed54034f5cf8552(.).pa (55 KB, 736x489) google igdb wait IAnonymous 08/07/16(Sun)10:42:34 No.30903561 v >>30903650 >30910185 EU says goodbye.jpg (79 KB, 500x319) google igdb wait If the wish includes unlimited ammo, pic related. DORA and i dont need to explain why >>30904806 >>30903650 >>30903561 >be anon >magical fairy shows up >says I can have any gun I want >evil grin spreads across my face >ICH VIL HAB DER SCHWERER GUSTAV, BITTE >I'm not even german >fairy rolls its eyes and flicks wand >marvel of german engineering appears in my back yard >and also my neighbour gary's yard >f--- you gary, I dare you to say something about this >f------ gary Anyway >I start wondering what to shoot it at >suddenly it comes to me >all those f------ years >all that lunch money >all the wedgies and swirlies >every single moment comes rushing back >Chad >manage to ignore my endless, thundering erection long enough to have a rough idea of how to load it >don't have a crane, though >buy a couple floor jacks, eventually figure out a way to make it work >still gunna have to muscle it around >spend the next 10 days getting it ready to fire >have to take breaks to masturbate to how awesome this thing is >finally get it ready to fire >only took 2 hernias and a torn ligament >its aimed at chad's house >and his stupid f------ truck >f--- you chad >I know this is gunna be loud >really loud >double up on the earpro because I'm a f------ gear queer >dressed up in my German ww2 repro gear for the occasion >make last minute checks >FEUER!! >fire >the entire neighbourhood shakes >every window shattered >every car alarm going off >I'm pretty sure that crack den down the street just exploded to0 >this is going to be on the f------ richter scale >looking in the general direction of chad's house >see a flash and black smoke on the edge of the horizon >several seconds later, sounds like a thunder clap >l can hear sirens >they don't even know where to go >people 5 miles away reported a gunshot >people 3 miles away reported an explosion >people near Chad are all f------ dead >l levelled his entire neighbourhood though >cops were scared it was nuclear >Turns out chad was at work >prepare for the next shot >f------ chad
B7ykhpZCMAlmkPR[1].jpg (67 KB, 600x436) google igdb wait I Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:46:51 No.30903012 v >>30903052 >>30903058 >>30903079 >>30903110 >>30903151 >>30903168 >>30903205 >>30903248 >>30903317 >>30903518 >>30903524 >>30903537 >>30903653 >>30903688 >>30904260 >>30904268 >>30904343 >>30904353 >>30904581 >>30905773 >>30906176 >>30906196 >>30906211 >>30906252 >>30906715 >>30909832 >>30910199 A fairy appears and says you can have any single gun in the world for free. You cannot sell the gun or trade it, you must keep it. If your country has any firearm laws preventing it, they make an exception for you. What do you choose and why? E I Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:50:15 No.30903048 v Orban cannon. 69dabf1f04ed54034f5cf8552(.).pa (55 KB, 736x489) google igdb wait IAnonymous 08/07/16(Sun)10:42:34 No.30903561 v >>30903650 >30910185 EU says goodbye.jpg (79 KB, 500x319) google igdb wait If the wish includes unlimited ammo, pic related. DORA and i dont need to explain why >>30904806 >>30903650 >>30903561 >be anon >magical fairy shows up >says I can have any gun I want >evil grin spreads across my face >ICH VIL HAB DER SCHWERER GUSTAV, BITTE >I'm not even german >fairy rolls its eyes and flicks wand >marvel of german engineering appears in my back yard >and also my neighbour gary's yard >f--- you gary, I dare you to say something about this >f------ gary Anyway >I start wondering what to shoot it at >suddenly it comes to me >all those f------ years >all that lunch money >all the wedgies and swirlies >every single moment comes rushing back >Chad >manage to ignore my endless, thundering erection long enough to have a rough idea of how to load it >don't have a crane, though >buy a couple floor jacks, eventually figure out a way to make it work >still gunna have to muscle it around >spend the next 10 days getting it ready to fire >have to take breaks to masturbate to how awesome this thing is >finally get it ready to fire >only took 2 hernias and a torn ligament >its aimed at chad's house >and his stupid f------ truck >f--- you chad >I know this is gunna be loud >really loud >double up on the earpro because I'm a f------ gear queer >dressed up in my German ww2 repro gear for the occasion >make last minute checks >FEUER!! >fire >the entire neighbourhood shakes >every window shattered >every car alarm going off >I'm pretty sure that crack den down the street just exploded to0 >this is going to be on the f------ richter scale >looking in the general direction of chad's house >see a flash and black smoke on the edge of the horizon >several seconds later, sounds like a thunder clap >l can hear sirens >they don't even know where to go >people 5 miles away reported a gunshot >people 3 miles away reported an explosion >people near Chad are all f------ dead >l levelled his entire neighbourhood though >cops were scared it was nuclear >Turns out chad was at work >prepare for the next shot >f------ chad

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Anon is chaotic evil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File :1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334.jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave
Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File :1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334.jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave

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Anon gets drunk with his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)06:44:33 No.62231753 >>62230411 # >manage to get a gf at 23 >move in together >things are really looking good for me >two years go by >seriously think of marrying this girl in the near future "screaming begins agnin 57 KB JPG >one day get drunk at home with her >she says she's been f------ her coworker who she introduced me to and who i thought of as a decent enough guy >figure she's just drunk and making stuff up >go through her phone just in case >mfw she's been sexting and exchanging nudes with him for about 10 months >leave the apartment while she's ranting about how good at bed her coworker is >she's moves in with him a month after Anyway, that's how i came back here, i don't think i'll be leaving again soon...
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)06:44:33 No.62231753 >>62230411 # >manage to get a gf at 23 >move in together >things are really looking good for me >two years go by >seriously think of marrying this girl in the near future "screaming begins agnin 57 KB JPG >one day get drunk at home with her >she says she's been f------ her coworker who she introduced me to and who i thought of as a decent enough guy >figure she's just drunk and making stuff up >go through her phone just in case >mfw she's been sexting and exchanging nudes with him for about 10 months >leave the apartment while she's ranting about how good at bed her coworker is >she's moves in with him a month after Anyway, that's how i came back here, i don't think i'll be leaving again soon...

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