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Anon is deranged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:47:00 No.543601905 Did no one else enjoy high school by acting so deranged nobody wanted to f--- with you? >blow every test of every subject out of the water and brag about it so people know you're smarter than them >workout like a madman at home, claim your fitness is natural >challenge jocks to pull up contests on the door frames and mop them up >drop voice an octave or two, threaten people with IM ABOUT TO COMMIT A MURDER SUICIDE LETS F------ GOOOO so people are uncomfortable confronting you >do whatever the f--- you like without consequence I honestly enjoyed high school despite not really having any friends. No clue what people said behind my back but they never said it to my face.
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:47:00 No.543601905 Did no one else enjoy high school by acting so deranged nobody wanted to f--- with you? >blow every test of every subject out of the water and brag about it so people know you're smarter than them >workout like a madman at home, claim your fitness is natural >challenge jocks to pull up contests on the door frames and mop them up >drop voice an octave or two, threaten people with IM ABOUT TO COMMIT A MURDER SUICIDE LETS F------ GOOOO so people are uncomfortable confronting you >do whatever the f--- you like without consequence I honestly enjoyed high school despite not really having any friends. No clue what people said behind my back but they never said it to my face.

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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?
: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?

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Anon started working out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/17/17(Sun)18:06:10 No.42894140 File: 39873912.jpg (46 KB, 1280x720) >>42879782 (OP) >start lifting for a girl >make some decent gains >girl starts showing interest >don't care because I'm into traps now Thanks /fit/
Anonymous 09/17/17(Sun)18:06:10 No.42894140 File: 39873912.jpg (46 KB, 1280x720) >>42879782 (OP) >start lifting for a girl >make some decent gains >girl starts showing interest >don't care because I'm into traps now Thanks /fit/

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Anon hates w*men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: xz5nGhkS ) 02/08/21(Mon)17:15:21 No.28138849 > doubled my money investing in crypto > Tell my sister to do the same > She doesn't want to do it > "crypto is dangerous Anon, you are just lucky" 21 KB JPG Why are women so f------ retarded? 11 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: xz5nGhkS ) 02/08/21(Mon)17:15:21 No.28138849 > doubled my money investing in crypto > Tell my sister to do the same > She doesn't want to do it > "crypto is dangerous Anon, you are just lucky" 21 KB JPG Why are women so f------ retarded? 11 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon almost commits murder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I almost committed murder. 02/08/21(Mon)18:21:50 No.62239682 >Hear someone knock at my door >I have no friends or family in this city >Look out my window >It's some dude wearing a f------ ski mask >Panic and load my .22 caliber airgun >Think about how I might f------ die 110 KB JPG tonight >I wasted my entire life just to get plugged in a f------ house robbery >Unlock the door and run behind my staircase with my gun pointed at the door >"COME IN" >It's my f------ brother. >He looks at me like I'm retarded >Walks past the door and asks if I have any snacks Is loneliness finally taking its toll on me or amI just retarded?
: Anonymous I almost committed murder. 02/08/21(Mon)18:21:50 No.62239682 >Hear someone knock at my door >I have no friends or family in this city >Look out my window >It's some dude wearing a f------ ski mask >Panic and load my .22 caliber airgun >Think about how I might f------ die 110 KB JPG tonight >I wasted my entire life just to get plugged in a f------ house robbery >Unlock the door and run behind my staircase with my gun pointed at the door >"COME IN" >It's my f------ brother. >He looks at me like I'm retarded >Walks past the door and asks if I have any snacks Is loneliness finally taking its toll on me or amI just retarded?

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 No.52625171 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily 21 KB PNG >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #
: Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 No.52625171 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily 21 KB PNG >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #

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Anon plays RDR2 | /r/Greentext

>playing Red Dead 2 >find woman yelling about voting rights >shoot her in the head 121 KB JPG
>playing Red Dead 2 >find woman yelling about voting rights >shoot her in the head 121 KB JPG

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Mom said I could post this this week | /r/Greentext

2:41 Embracing figures at Pompeii 'could have been gay lovers', after scan reveals they are both men f share CD040683-728B-46E2-9C39-6152B03FE828.png 1.67 MB PNG >be me >drinking wine with best bro >served 10 years in army together >saved my life once >named my son after the guy >mountain f------ explodes >find house and hide for shelter >give each other one last bro hug >ash burys us both >1900 years later get found >lol gay bois
2:41 Embracing figures at Pompeii 'could have been gay lovers', after scan reveals they are both men f share CD040683-728B-46E2-9C39-6152B03FE828.png 1.67 MB PNG >be me >drinking wine with best bro >served 10 years in army together >saved my life once >named my son after the guy >mountain f------ explodes >find house and hide for shelter >give each other one last bro hug >ash burys us both >1900 years later get found >lol gay bois

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Anon has online classes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)20:55:59 No.846884244 >be me >redditard >start using reddit during zoom classes >all cool for the most part, I still pay attention and do 60 KB JPG classwork >this goes on for a while >ten minutes ago >the usual >find a post that's just a reuploaded eric andre clip >not even that funny, has a lot of swears >still laugh like three hyenas in heat >"oh s---, that was kind of loud, better check if I was muted" >disconnected from the call >too scared to rejoin the cal| what the f--- what if they heard me and just decided they were f------ done with me
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)20:55:59 No.846884244 >be me >redditard >start using reddit during zoom classes >all cool for the most part, I still pay attention and do 60 KB JPG classwork >this goes on for a while >ten minutes ago >the usual >find a post that's just a reuploaded eric andre clip >not even that funny, has a lot of swears >still laugh like three hyenas in heat >"oh s---, that was kind of loud, better check if I was muted" >disconnected from the call >too scared to rejoin the cal| what the f--- what if they heard me and just decided they were f------ done with me

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Anon is a decepticon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/19(Sat)01:19:31 No.22761156 >>22753938 (OP) # >Sitting at my laptop at night in the living room alone >The front door, which is right across from me, starts f------ 41 KB JPG exploding with knocks >Not like "rapraprap", " SLAM. SLAM. SLAM." >Eventually it stops >Literally all I have with me is a transformed MP-36 Megatron >Slowly approach the door with a fake gun >I see something shift around faintly because it's making a shadowy outline on the blinds >Yell "I have a gun!" and wave Megatron around >The figure backs away without speaking I stayed at that door for a long time f------ terrified about what to do next. But that was the time Megatron saved my ass.
: Anonymous 06/01/19(Sat)01:19:31 No.22761156 >>22753938 (OP) # >Sitting at my laptop at night in the living room alone >The front door, which is right across from me, starts f------ 41 KB JPG exploding with knocks >Not like "rapraprap", " SLAM. SLAM. SLAM." >Eventually it stops >Literally all I have with me is a transformed MP-36 Megatron >Slowly approach the door with a fake gun >I see something shift around faintly because it's making a shadowy outline on the blinds >Yell "I have a gun!" and wave Megatron around >The figure backs away without speaking I stayed at that door for a long time f------ terrified about what to do next. But that was the time Megatron saved my ass.

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Anon cockblocks himself | /r/Greentext

File: 1429329565496 jpg (36 KB, 300x360) Anonymous 12/16/16(Fri)13:48:20 No.715442556 [Reply] >>71 ITT: Times you cockblocked yourself like a retard, f'll start. >be me senoir year >no gf but i have a female friend i'm really close to >convince her to come over for some tea >ptoclaim my love for her (and that i want to f--- every hole she's got) >after a bit of talking she declines my advances >i concede >she leaves >the chair still smells like her >j------- to her smell >get a message from her >"Actuaily Anon ive changed my mind let's do this" >i awnser >"Na it's alright i alreafy jacked off" >"Ohh Ok." >wait 2 hour >realise what i did >cry myself to sleep What about you /b/rothers?
File: 1429329565496 jpg (36 KB, 300x360) Anonymous 12/16/16(Fri)13:48:20 No.715442556 [Reply] >>71 ITT: Times you cockblocked yourself like a retard, f'll start. >be me senoir year >no gf but i have a female friend i'm really close to >convince her to come over for some tea >ptoclaim my love for her (and that i want to f--- every hole she's got) >after a bit of talking she declines my advances >i concede >she leaves >the chair still smells like her >j------- to her smell >get a message from her >"Actuaily Anon ive changed my mind let's do this" >i awnser >"Na it's alright i alreafy jacked off" >"Ohh Ok." >wait 2 hour >realise what i did >cry myself to sleep What about you /b/rothers?

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Unconventional warfare | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21 (Mon)16:46:26 No.62238391 >used to dress up as a ninja and throw paper throwing stars >teacher gets p----- i could poke someone's eye out >"a ninja can never miss" >chuck another at a can across 278 KB JPG the room >quietly run out the door while the teacher is distracted watching where it's going >hear the can fall into the garbage as i flee >dumb boomer lecturing me even though i'm not there >notices i'm gone and starts yelling >jump into an empty trash can in the hall >camouflage perfectly with the black garbage bag >hear other kids trying to hide their laughter >later find out he looked behind the door and stormed off to do boomer things >teacher didn't know who i was either >ninjutsu success
: Anonymous 02/08/21 (Mon)16:46:26 No.62238391 >used to dress up as a ninja and throw paper throwing stars >teacher gets p----- i could poke someone's eye out >"a ninja can never miss" >chuck another at a can across 278 KB JPG the room >quietly run out the door while the teacher is distracted watching where it's going >hear the can fall into the garbage as i flee >dumb boomer lecturing me even though i'm not there >notices i'm gone and starts yelling >jump into an empty trash can in the hall >camouflage perfectly with the black garbage bag >hear other kids trying to hide their laughter >later find out he looked behind the door and stormed off to do boomer things >teacher didn't know who i was either >ninjutsu success

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Two parent households | /r/Greentext

File: AFA5D113-CE9C-4541-B867-6(...).jpg (72 KB, 406x434) Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)19:15:40 No.62225441 >>62225465 >>62225485 >>62 >>62226221 >>62226344 >>62226409 >l am a 25 year old KHV >mother always tells me I need to get married and have kids >I say how would that happen if I was not able to get a gf in all this time >dad tells me to stop being a f----- U Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)19:17:49 No.62225465 >>62226286 >>62225441 (OP)# i started dating girls 8 years before that age. O Anonymous 02/O7/21(Sun)19:20:17 No 62225485
File: AFA5D113-CE9C-4541-B867-6(...).jpg (72 KB, 406x434) Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)19:15:40 No.62225441 >>62225465 >>62225485 >>62 >>62226221 >>62226344 >>62226409 >l am a 25 year old KHV >mother always tells me I need to get married and have kids >I say how would that happen if I was not able to get a gf in all this time >dad tells me to stop being a f----- U Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)19:17:49 No.62225465 >>62226286 >>62225441 (OP)# i started dating girls 8 years before that age. O Anonymous 02/O7/21(Sun)19:20:17 No 62225485

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Anon Meets An Artist | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)06:45:37 No.846837045 >846837279 >>846837288 >>846837578 >>846849366 File: 1595125848475.jpg (149 KB, 800x1200) >>846836294 >be me >caretaker of the molerat folk >be reading a book in the corner, everyone is in bed >coworker gets ready to leave >suddenly marge comes out of her nest >he hand is covered in red and starts fingerpainting on the wall >ask her w-- >says she found her private paint in her underwear while tickling herself >thinks this paint has a nice color and wants to make a pretty picture on the wall >basically she was mastubating and found out she had just started her period >it was chunky with clots so she thought it was paint >she draws a sun thats smiling in uteral lining on the wall as im dry heaving >give her some paper so she can "express her creativity in her room" >she takes it and giggles while going back to her cave >get gloves on and scrape the scabby painting off the wall >cowerker is laughing at me while he leaves for the night
O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)06:45:37 No.846837045 >846837279 >>846837288 >>846837578 >>846849366 File: 1595125848475.jpg (149 KB, 800x1200) >>846836294 >be me >caretaker of the molerat folk >be reading a book in the corner, everyone is in bed >coworker gets ready to leave >suddenly marge comes out of her nest >he hand is covered in red and starts fingerpainting on the wall >ask her w-- >says she found her private paint in her underwear while tickling herself >thinks this paint has a nice color and wants to make a pretty picture on the wall >basically she was mastubating and found out she had just started her period >it was chunky with clots so she thought it was paint >she draws a sun thats smiling in uteral lining on the wall as im dry heaving >give her some paper so she can "express her creativity in her room" >she takes it and giggles while going back to her cave >get gloves on and scrape the scabby painting off the wall >cowerker is laughing at me while he leaves for the night

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Anon tastes cum. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)23:19:42 No.846874457 i tasted my own c--, it was salty and i gaged do girls really like this stuff? 41 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)23:19:42 No.846874457 i tasted my own c--, it was salty and i gaged do girls really like this stuff? 41 KB JPG

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Anon takes experimental drugs | /r/Greentext

>be khhv neet >apply to be part of drug trial for some extra money >goes well in the beginning but after a couple of weeks start shrinking >researchers find out it's some genetic defect and nobody else in the trial shrinks >end up staying in research lab in a lab rat cage for further testing >researcher from different division stumbles upon you and thinks you're adorable >she drops by every lunch break and gives you food and picks you out of the cage and plays with you >slowly befriend her over the span of a few weeks >convince her to ask the higher ups if you can stay with her >they agree >you're full on dating at this point and you've picked up a hobby of painting figurines >it's pretty easy since they're basically the same size as you or bigger >eventually the experiments on you end and you move in with her full time >non-disclosure agreement ends and pictures of you leak online >suddenly overnight celebrity >start streaming painting figurines >gf is easily able to quit her job due to all the donations >tfw you're the breadwinner even though you're tiny
>be khhv neet >apply to be part of drug trial for some extra money >goes well in the beginning but after a couple of weeks start shrinking >researchers find out it's some genetic defect and nobody else in the trial shrinks >end up staying in research lab in a lab rat cage for further testing >researcher from different division stumbles upon you and thinks you're adorable >she drops by every lunch break and gives you food and picks you out of the cage and plays with you >slowly befriend her over the span of a few weeks >convince her to ask the higher ups if you can stay with her >they agree >you're full on dating at this point and you've picked up a hobby of painting figurines >it's pretty easy since they're basically the same size as you or bigger >eventually the experiments on you end and you move in with her full time >non-disclosure agreement ends and pictures of you leak online >suddenly overnight celebrity >start streaming painting figurines >gf is easily able to quit her job due to all the donations >tfw you're the breadwinner even though you're tiny

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Ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I got a new roommate 01/28/21(Thu)22:04:59 No.62077295 >be me, a few minutes ago >hear knocking coming from my door >open the door >be met with the eerie stillness of the night >mfw I probably let a ghost enter 105 KB JPG my room just now
: Anonymous I got a new roommate 01/28/21(Thu)22:04:59 No.62077295 >be me, a few minutes ago >hear knocking coming from my door >open the door >be met with the eerie stillness of the night >mfw I probably let a ghost enter 105 KB JPG my room just now

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Grave digger | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)16:28:00 No.305665585 File: 1fe.png (59 KB, 658x662) >>305663403 >be me >9 years old >elementary school >20 min drive from Columbine in CO >Columbine happens >everyone freaking out all the time >leave my backpack in hallway >get pulled into principals office >"Whats this anon?" >Principal pulls out plastic sandbox shovel with rounded edges >"A toy shovel" >"It's a weapon, isn't it anon?" >"What, no, it's a toy" >"Yeah but someone might think it's a weapon" >"What how" >Principal holds up toy shovel in the air >"What if you held it up like this and threatened someone from across the playground? Wouldn't it seem like a weapon then?" >mfw true story.
O Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)16:28:00 No.305665585 File: 1fe.png (59 KB, 658x662) >>305663403 >be me >9 years old >elementary school >20 min drive from Columbine in CO >Columbine happens >everyone freaking out all the time >leave my backpack in hallway >get pulled into principals office >"Whats this anon?" >Principal pulls out plastic sandbox shovel with rounded edges >"A toy shovel" >"It's a weapon, isn't it anon?" >"What, no, it's a toy" >"Yeah but someone might think it's a weapon" >"What how" >Principal holds up toy shovel in the air >"What if you held it up like this and threatened someone from across the playground? Wouldn't it seem like a weapon then?" >mfw true story.

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Anon is fucked | /r/Greentext

>Start studying for an exam I have in two weeks >Can't concentrate hard enough >After two hours I give up and stop studying >Try to do something else as can literally feel my brain burning for all the things I have to study in just two weeks >Try opening a game >Get stuck in the main menu as I tell myself I should study for the exam >At the same time just remembering how much I have to study makes me feel anxious and I do not want to study anymore >Get stuck in this loop of "I should study but I do not want to study" >Do nothing for the next five hours and the anxiety just rises up even more Why am I like this?
>Start studying for an exam I have in two weeks >Can't concentrate hard enough >After two hours I give up and stop studying >Try to do something else as can literally feel my brain burning for all the things I have to study in just two weeks >Try opening a game >Get stuck in the main menu as I tell myself I should study for the exam >At the same time just remembering how much I have to study makes me feel anxious and I do not want to study anymore >Get stuck in this loop of "I should study but I do not want to study" >Do nothing for the next five hours and the anxiety just rises up even more Why am I like this?

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Anon is under 6'0 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)13:03:11 No.62205732 >wake up >5'10 still 31 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)13:03:11 No.62205732 >wake up >5'10 still 31 KB JPG

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