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Anon is a true winner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/21 (Sat)13:42:45 No.844411090 >be me >6th grade with friend >playing Yu-Gi-Oh >he is kicking my ass >getting p----- 25 KB PNG >he gets me to 0 life points >'haha i win' >'i still have one trap card active' >'oh yeah? What's that?" >leap over table and start punching him >mfw i drop him to zero conscience points
: Anonymous 01/09/21 (Sat)13:42:45 No.844411090 >be me >6th grade with friend >playing Yu-Gi-Oh >he is kicking my ass >getting p----- 25 KB PNG >he gets me to 0 life points >'haha i win' >'i still have one trap card active' >'oh yeah? What's that?" >leap over table and start punching him >mfw i drop him to zero conscience points

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OP is back where he belongs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----
: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----

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Anon hires hooker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri) 18:46:28 No.844936687 RT, V +V, m, + m, ber (m + m)RT P, RT m, RT, (m, +m, )RT, (m, + m, Isat 2 sat IBsat Gm, Gm 3. Isat 2.sat u. (x + rp2) * - 20sý – wx + 26 V(x - T 1601638899698.jpg 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri) 18:46:28 No.844936687 RT, V +V, m, + m, ber (m + m)RT P, RT m, RT, (m, +m, )RT, (m, + m, Isat 2 sat IBsat Gm, Gm 3. Isat 2.sat u. (x + rp2) * - 20sý – wx + 26 V(x - T 1601638899698.jpg 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw

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OP is single again | /r/Greentext

>finally get a gf at 30 years old >she is going through my pictures on my phone >anon why do you have hundreds of green cartoon frogs saved in your camera roll? This is weird. Can you delete them? 316 KB PNG >call her a fat pig and tell her to get out of my apartment 7 Replies /1 Image View Thread
>finally get a gf at 30 years old >she is going through my pictures on my phone >anon why do you have hundreds of green cartoon frogs saved in your camera roll? This is weird. Can you delete them? 316 KB PNG >call her a fat pig and tell her to get out of my apartment 7 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Anon goes hunting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)17:03:25 No.48158703 >>48142212 # >12 gauge slugs are a good solution to every problem you encounter in the woods that has at least 3 legs 82 KB JPG What the hell has 3 legs? >>48158733 # : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)17:07:10 No.48158733 >>48158703 # Me with an erection.
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)17:03:25 No.48158703 >>48142212 # >12 gauge slugs are a good solution to every problem you encounter in the woods that has at least 3 legs 82 KB JPG What the hell has 3 legs? >>48158733 # : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)17:07:10 No.48158733 >>48158703 # Me with an erection.

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anon is 12 | /r/Greentext

03/03/18(Sat)09:09:13 : Anonymous >be 12 >vitamin B12 Cobolamin 65 KB JPG
03/03/18(Sat)09:09:13 : Anonymous >be 12 >vitamin B12 Cobolamin 65 KB JPG

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Anon reveals the life of a former class clown | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)13:22:35 No.62193449 >be me >Autistic spaz >S----- home life growing up >Pretty much no friends for first few years of school >Start to clown around in class 116 KB JPG >Finally get attention >Realize that being a clown is my only path to a semi normal social life >Become a modern day jester, trade my comedic abilities for a place to sit at lunch >Nothing was sacred, i never took anything serious, many laughs were had, i got in trouble so much but it never >Your mom died? Get clowned >Teacher getting mad that the class won't be quiet? Get clowned >School assembly? Get clowned >Black people? Get clowned >Eventually graduate, go to uni >Clownish antics are still appreciated by fellow students, but professors were having none of it >Get kicked out of a class or two because of it, eventually learn better >Still able to have a decent social circle, but over the years it becomes clear that more and more people are getting annoyed by what I do >Graduate college >Most people just see me as annoying >Long time friends get upset with me >"Anon, why can't you take anything seriously" >"That's not funny" >Social circle keeps getting smaller and smaller, eat alone at lunch and hardly know any coworkers >Don't really talk to kids from school anymore >Right back where I started socially >Tfw bred for this role by society and tossed to the side when they were done with me What do I do now?
: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)13:22:35 No.62193449 >be me >Autistic spaz >S----- home life growing up >Pretty much no friends for first few years of school >Start to clown around in class 116 KB JPG >Finally get attention >Realize that being a clown is my only path to a semi normal social life >Become a modern day jester, trade my comedic abilities for a place to sit at lunch >Nothing was sacred, i never took anything serious, many laughs were had, i got in trouble so much but it never >Your mom died? Get clowned >Teacher getting mad that the class won't be quiet? Get clowned >School assembly? Get clowned >Black people? Get clowned >Eventually graduate, go to uni >Clownish antics are still appreciated by fellow students, but professors were having none of it >Get kicked out of a class or two because of it, eventually learn better >Still able to have a decent social circle, but over the years it becomes clear that more and more people are getting annoyed by what I do >Graduate college >Most people just see me as annoying >Long time friends get upset with me >"Anon, why can't you take anything seriously" >"That's not funny" >Social circle keeps getting smaller and smaller, eat alone at lunch and hardly know any coworkers >Don't really talk to kids from school anymore >Right back where I started socially >Tfw bred for this role by society and tossed to the side when they were done with me What do I do now?

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Anon sacrifice magic for sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)04:09:43 No.846648233 I went on a date for the first time in 6 years and we ended up kissing. I might finally lose my virginity at 29 years old. Looks like I won't be a wizard after all 7 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)04:09:43 No.846648233 I went on a date for the first time in 6 years and we ended up kissing. I might finally lose my virginity at 29 years old. Looks like I won't be a wizard after all 7 KB JPG

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Anon has a nightmare | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/20(Sat)01:06:25 No.841624918 >be me >middle of the night >can't sleep >decide to go get a glass of water >walk past parent's bedroom >door's open >look in 9 KB PNG >mom and dad are having sex >audibly gasp >they notice >ask me to join >scream in horror >wake up >sit up in bed, next to my two naked dads >breathe a sigh of relief close call anons
: Anonymous 12/05/20(Sat)01:06:25 No.841624918 >be me >middle of the night >can't sleep >decide to go get a glass of water >walk past parent's bedroom >door's open >look in 9 KB PNG >mom and dad are having sex >audibly gasp >they notice >ask me to join >scream in horror >wake up >sit up in bed, next to my two naked dads >breathe a sigh of relief close call anons

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/biz/ discusses Elon musk and dogecoin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: KKDA+uPB 02/04/21(Thu)09:56:52 No.27695240 >>27694996 # How many billionaires do you see promoting DOGE? I see exactly 1 Also Elon if ur reading this can I have a job, I have no skills of any kind but I'm incredibly racist >>27695551 # >>27697978 # >>27699302 # >>27699494 # >>27699603 # >>27700022 # >>27700211 #
: Anonymous (ID: KKDA+uPB 02/04/21(Thu)09:56:52 No.27695240 >>27694996 # How many billionaires do you see promoting DOGE? I see exactly 1 Also Elon if ur reading this can I have a job, I have no skills of any kind but I'm incredibly racist >>27695551 # >>27697978 # >>27699302 # >>27699494 # >>27699603 # >>27700022 # >>27700211 #

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Keep your head up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)20:18:50 No.59560705 >be me >train neck >hard to behead >be you >don't train neck 802 KB PNG >easy to behead 6 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)20:21:21 No.59560746 >>59560705 (OP) # >be you >have to suffer through two axe swings before beheaded >be me >only have to deal with the one swing without suffering >>59560982 #
: Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)20:18:50 No.59560705 >be me >train neck >hard to behead >be you >don't train neck 802 KB PNG >easy to behead 6 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)20:21:21 No.59560746 >>59560705 (OP) # >be you >have to suffer through two axe swings before beheaded >be me >only have to deal with the one swing without suffering >>59560982 #

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Anon moves | /r/Greentext

O Comertown Kootenai National Forest BLACKFEET INDIAN RESERVATION FORT PECK INDIAN RESERVATION Williston Flathead National Forest Coeur d'Alene Great Falls Glendive Missoula Dickinson MONTANA Helena Nez Perce Clearwater Miles City National Billings Forests Bozeman Payette lational Forest 18 hr 2 min 1,213 miles CH Spearfish Yellowstone National Park Rexburg Bridger-Teton Idaho Falls National Forest Salmon-Challis National Forest Rapid City Boise ampa IDAHO PINE RIDG RESERVATI Jackson Pocatello WYOMING Twin Falls Ogden Salt Läke City Fort Collins UINTAH Provo AND OURAY RESERVATION Denver ADA Unite Grand COLORADO Junction UTAH Moab Colorado Springs Durango Ovirgin | Moving Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)16:00:58 No.9415858 >be me >born in small town in utah >New job offer in some random town in monatana >Later virgins
O Comertown Kootenai National Forest BLACKFEET INDIAN RESERVATION FORT PECK INDIAN RESERVATION Williston Flathead National Forest Coeur d'Alene Great Falls Glendive Missoula Dickinson MONTANA Helena Nez Perce Clearwater Miles City National Billings Forests Bozeman Payette lational Forest 18 hr 2 min 1,213 miles CH Spearfish Yellowstone National Park Rexburg Bridger-Teton Idaho Falls National Forest Salmon-Challis National Forest Rapid City Boise ampa IDAHO PINE RIDG RESERVATI Jackson Pocatello WYOMING Twin Falls Ogden Salt Läke City Fort Collins UINTAH Provo AND OURAY RESERVATION Denver ADA Unite Grand COLORADO Junction UTAH Moab Colorado Springs Durango Ovirgin | Moving Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)16:00:58 No.9415858 >be me >born in small town in utah >New job offer in some random town in monatana >Later virgins

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Anon has a point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/19(Sat)01:05:04 No.791590505 >be me >right now >toasting toaster stroodles at 12 am 7 KB JPG >be you >rn >not toasting toaster stroodles at 12 am >why live
: Anonymous 02/02/19(Sat)01:05:04 No.791590505 >be me >right now >toasting toaster stroodles at 12 am 7 KB JPG >be you >rn >not toasting toaster stroodles at 12 am >why live

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Austin powers cure depression | /r/Greentext


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Anon wonders about his husband | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son? 1 reply
Anonymous No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son? 1 reply

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Anon is short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close 44 KB JPG >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #
: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close 44 KB JPG >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #

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Anon laughs at domestic abuse | /r/Greentext

No.62189509 1 hour ago 1504100378640.jpg JPG 42.3 KiB 640x633 >police arrives at my building >try to investigate what happened >roastie got pistol whipped almsot to death by her criminal boyfriend >always was cocky about how her bf is a criminal and that she's untouchable >mfw 2 replies No.62189546 1 hour ago >>62189509 (OP) she won't press charges. Eventually it will be an ambulance coming to collect her body 1 reply ... ...
No.62189509 1 hour ago 1504100378640.jpg JPG 42.3 KiB 640x633 >police arrives at my building >try to investigate what happened >roastie got pistol whipped almsot to death by her criminal boyfriend >always was cocky about how her bf is a criminal and that she's untouchable >mfw 2 replies No.62189546 1 hour ago >>62189509 (OP) she won't press charges. Eventually it will be an ambulance coming to collect her body 1 reply ... ...

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Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto Girls the things that are Girl’s | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)06:21:37 No.62186730 File: 1612459764541.png (137 KB, 600x600) >>62186626 (OP) # >be 4 year old me in kindergarten >some girl's gloves get stolen >teachers sit us all in a circle >all the girls are instantly dismissed because they would never steal >dwindles down to me and two other kids >teachers forcing us to confess >can't take the pressure and confess even tho I didn't do it >it was actually some girl who hid the gloves >get called the glove thief for the next 3 years
Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)06:21:37 No.62186730 File: 1612459764541.png (137 KB, 600x600) >>62186626 (OP) # >be 4 year old me in kindergarten >some girl's gloves get stolen >teachers sit us all in a circle >all the girls are instantly dismissed because they would never steal >dwindles down to me and two other kids >teachers forcing us to confess >can't take the pressure and confess even tho I didn't do it >it was actually some girl who hid the gloves >get called the glove thief for the next 3 years

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Anon is a famous author | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/19(Wed)05:47:18 No.125495590 >The 23andme has returned, I shall finally prove my 100% Anglo genetic history >W-What is this? Five... percent... WELSH? >I STOOD AGHAST AT THE 19 KB JPG PERVERTED REFLECTION OF MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, HANDS TURNED TO SLIMY WEBBED APPENDAGES SECRETING A FOUL SMELLING OILY SUBSTANCE STAINING THE CARPET. EYES SHRIVELLED TO LIZARD-LIKE HUSKS L ATTEMPTED TO SCREAM BUT ALL THAT UTTERED FORTH FROM MY CUPPED MAW WAS THE HORRIFIC CRY OF GHAR'LOPEATH. MINE EARS WOULD HAVE BEEN PIERCED IF THEY HAD NOT RECOILED ENTIRELY INTO THE SKULL LEAVING ME DEAFENED CONFUSED WRITHING ON THE FLOOR >>125495662 # >>125495665 # >>125495682 # >>125495711 # >>125495990 # >>125496802 # >>125497813 # >>125497870 # >>125499984 # >>125500878 # >>125501005 #
: Anonymous 12/11/19(Wed)05:47:18 No.125495590 >The 23andme has returned, I shall finally prove my 100% Anglo genetic history >W-What is this? Five... percent... WELSH? >I STOOD AGHAST AT THE 19 KB JPG PERVERTED REFLECTION OF MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, HANDS TURNED TO SLIMY WEBBED APPENDAGES SECRETING A FOUL SMELLING OILY SUBSTANCE STAINING THE CARPET. EYES SHRIVELLED TO LIZARD-LIKE HUSKS L ATTEMPTED TO SCREAM BUT ALL THAT UTTERED FORTH FROM MY CUPPED MAW WAS THE HORRIFIC CRY OF GHAR'LOPEATH. MINE EARS WOULD HAVE BEEN PIERCED IF THEY HAD NOT RECOILED ENTIRELY INTO THE SKULL LEAVING ME DEAFENED CONFUSED WRITHING ON THE FLOOR >>125495662 # >>125495665 # >>125495682 # >>125495711 # >>125495990 # >>125496802 # >>125497813 # >>125497870 # >>125499984 # >>125500878 # >>125501005 #

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Anon loves smart writing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)11:44:51 No.146132037 1611133744187.png 197 KB PNG >why didn't you just blooga the ooga booga? woah...
: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)11:44:51 No.146132037 1611133744187.png 197 KB PNG >why didn't you just blooga the ooga booga? woah...

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