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Anon is a h4ck3r | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)15:38:27 No.80046749 >pirate game >screen flashes to black and my background is gone 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)15:41:19 No.80046775 >>80046749 (OP) # >pirate game >OS is now in hebrew
: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)15:38:27 No.80046749 >pirate game >screen flashes to black and my background is gone 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)15:41:19 No.80046775 >>80046749 (OP) # >pirate game >OS is now in hebrew

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Anon supports the disabled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)10:12:12 No.543170328 >>543168960 (OP) # >be villain >designing labyrinth to house my treasure/secret weapon >fill it with traps and hire mercenaries to guard it >install wheelchair ramps next to staircases because I want to make it accessible for disabled 38 KB JPG adventurers
: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)10:12:12 No.543170328 >>543168960 (OP) # >be villain >designing labyrinth to house my treasure/secret weapon >fill it with traps and hire mercenaries to guard it >install wheelchair ramps next to staircases because I want to make it accessible for disabled 38 KB JPG adventurers

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Anon wants drone | /r/Greentext

>be me >live on second floor >want a drone so bad think theyre cool >dad buys drone >wants to surprize me >he comes with the drone to my window >im jerking off >see drone >start f------ screaming >dad starts screaming >crashes drone >what to do now
>be me >live on second floor >want a drone so bad think theyre cool >dad buys drone >wants to surprize me >he comes with the drone to my window >im jerking off >see drone >start f------ screaming >dad starts screaming >crashes drone >what to do now

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Rise of the Planet of the Monke | /r/Greentext

File: 1325296312001.jpg (15 KB, 271x290) Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)04:49:30 No.62186101 [Reply] >>62186787 >>62186864 Why are people so insanely f------ stupid? >Be me in school >Around 13/14 >In maths >4/10 girl sits on my table and so does 6/10 girl >"Anon?" >Yes? >"Is brexit a country?" >Mfw we both live in the uk >"No it isn't a country" >"Oh okay, thanks anon" >Get back to work >"Oh and anon? >"Yes?" >"Is Africa a country?" Genuinely lost hope for the future for a while after that
File: 1325296312001.jpg (15 KB, 271x290) Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)04:49:30 No.62186101 [Reply] >>62186787 >>62186864 Why are people so insanely f------ stupid? >Be me in school >Around 13/14 >In maths >4/10 girl sits on my table and so does 6/10 girl >"Anon?" >Yes? >"Is brexit a country?" >Mfw we both live in the uk >"No it isn't a country" >"Oh okay, thanks anon" >Get back to work >"Oh and anon? >"Yes?" >"Is Africa a country?" Genuinely lost hope for the future for a while after that

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Anon likes cons | /r/Greentext

>Be me, 10 >3rd class in elementary >Feel the need to piss >Go to bathroom >Piss, but feel the log coming on >Started farting, sharting while still 317 KB PNG pissing >Not gonna make it to the stall >S--- in urinal, hoping the blue color of the soap would balance out the celery green s--- >Nope, smells like dashcon still >Throw water from the sink into the urinal hoping it would wash it out >Been in there for at least 20 minuted by now >The urinal looks like an art project you would see in California, s--- and piss and soap started leaking onto the floor tiles >Give up, go back to class >The whole bathroom was out of order for a week >Janitor slipped on it the first time he entered the mess >Nobody ever asked who it was
>Be me, 10 >3rd class in elementary >Feel the need to piss >Go to bathroom >Piss, but feel the log coming on >Started farting, sharting while still 317 KB PNG pissing >Not gonna make it to the stall >S--- in urinal, hoping the blue color of the soap would balance out the celery green s--- >Nope, smells like dashcon still >Throw water from the sink into the urinal hoping it would wash it out >Been in there for at least 20 minuted by now >The urinal looks like an art project you would see in California, s--- and piss and soap started leaking onto the floor tiles >Give up, go back to class >The whole bathroom was out of order for a week >Janitor slipped on it the first time he entered the mess >Nobody ever asked who it was

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Anon finds inner peace | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)23:38:58 No.846558294 >be me >gf broke up with me yesterday >it sucks but the feelings mutual >don't want another one for a little bit >use the money i was gonna spend on valentine's day for her on myself >buy he-man and skeletor >innerpeace.jpg 256 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)23:38:58 No.846558294 >be me >gf broke up with me yesterday >it sucks but the feelings mutual >don't want another one for a little bit >use the money i was gonna spend on valentine's day for her on myself >buy he-man and skeletor >innerpeace.jpg 256 KB PNG

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Anon has a tall gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/29/19(Mon)12:55:52 No.805828449 >be me >be 5"5 manlet >dating a 6"3 girl >everytime we get into an argument she just lifts me up and puts me on this high cupboard >cant leave untill i say sorry to her 25 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/29/19(Mon)12:55:52 No.805828449 >be me >be 5"5 manlet >dating a 6"3 girl >everytime we get into an argument she just lifts me up and puts me on this high cupboard >cant leave untill i say sorry to her 25 KB PNG

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Geography for beginners | /r/Greentext

>be north korea >sanctioned by basically everyone >need to spend half of budget on military to survive as a nation >get mocked internationally >have to protect top scientists from assassination 404 KB JPG >only resource is s----- coal >land is hard to farm and mostly infertile >still have rapidly growing GDP >have nuclear energy >building new cities where people once starved >have a ski resort, water park, etc >be africa >get world aid from basically everyone one >people sent over to help with development >get loan forgiveness >have 60% of the worlds mineral wealth >vast plots of very fertile land >have oil, coal, uranium as energy resources >still poor >fight each other 24/7 >nothing works >barely have roads and electricity >mass famines occur all the time why is africa so useless?
>be north korea >sanctioned by basically everyone >need to spend half of budget on military to survive as a nation >get mocked internationally >have to protect top scientists from assassination 404 KB JPG >only resource is s----- coal >land is hard to farm and mostly infertile >still have rapidly growing GDP >have nuclear energy >building new cities where people once starved >have a ski resort, water park, etc >be africa >get world aid from basically everyone one >people sent over to help with development >get loan forgiveness >have 60% of the worlds mineral wealth >vast plots of very fertile land >have oil, coal, uranium as energy resources >still poor >fight each other 24/7 >nothing works >barely have roads and electricity >mass famines occur all the time why is africa so useless?

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OP is a Fake Alpha | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)03:33:16 No.846600151 Im the most Alpha person in here 31 KB PNG | Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)03:35:18 No.846600227 >>846600151 (OP) # >weak chin >s----- haircut >low res photo >looks like a school shooter >probably anorexic s--- bait f----- 1/10 beta as s---
: Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)03:33:16 No.846600151 Im the most Alpha person in here 31 KB PNG | Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)03:35:18 No.846600227 >>846600151 (OP) # >weak chin >s----- haircut >low res photo >looks like a school shooter >probably anorexic s--- bait f----- 1/10 beta as s---

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Anon plays World of Warcraft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)22:37:30 No.543119594 Zandeiwi Trol Panten WoW Height.png 3.17 MB PNG >play WoW on a US RP server >blizzard introduces new black skin tones for humans >my character of 11 years is a human warrior >l decide to take advantage of the new stuff >make him black and give him a new face >attend a guild event >l start getting whispers going "Uhmmm w--??" >guild chat erupts with people commenting that my character is suddenly black >they tell me I can't just change my character's race >l'm "culturally appropriating black culture" and that "those new additions weren't made for people like me" >guild leader wants to discuss it in discord where he tells me that he knows l'm white IRL and it's "just not okay" Am I really in the wrong here? Apart from playing on an RP server, obviously.
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)22:37:30 No.543119594 Zandeiwi Trol Panten WoW Height.png 3.17 MB PNG >play WoW on a US RP server >blizzard introduces new black skin tones for humans >my character of 11 years is a human warrior >l decide to take advantage of the new stuff >make him black and give him a new face >attend a guild event >l start getting whispers going "Uhmmm w--??" >guild chat erupts with people commenting that my character is suddenly black >they tell me I can't just change my character's race >l'm "culturally appropriating black culture" and that "those new additions weren't made for people like me" >guild leader wants to discuss it in discord where he tells me that he knows l'm white IRL and it's "just not okay" Am I really in the wrong here? Apart from playing on an RP server, obviously.

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Anon buys Sekiro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Today at Gamestop 04/16/19(Tue)11:06:28 No.458697650 Flease be patiet I have ounien >Getting checked out by qt3.14 cashier girl >easily an 8/10 >buying Sekiro today >cashier girl asks "Do you want to donate to autism speaks today?" >"Haha no actually i'd prefer they stop speaking all together" 43 KB JPG >Her f------ face >The absolute disgust What the f--- is wrong with me /v/? Why did I have to waste 6 years of my life on this godforsaken site?
: Anonymous Today at Gamestop 04/16/19(Tue)11:06:28 No.458697650 Flease be patiet I have ounien >Getting checked out by qt3.14 cashier girl >easily an 8/10 >buying Sekiro today >cashier girl asks "Do you want to donate to autism speaks today?" >"Haha no actually i'd prefer they stop speaking all together" 43 KB JPG >Her f------ face >The absolute disgust What the f--- is wrong with me /v/? Why did I have to waste 6 years of my life on this godforsaken site?

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Anon meets chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i willt each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!
: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i willt each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!

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anon has the magic strike | /r/Greentext

>television not acting right >hit it >it starts acting right| >washer machine not acting right >hit it >washer machine starts acting 29 KB JPG right >son not acting right >hit him >go to jail for assault of a minor
>television not acting right >hit it >it starts acting right| >washer machine not acting right >hit it >washer machine starts acting 29 KB JPG right >son not acting right >hit him >go to jail for assault of a minor

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

1h (10/12 14:30) · 12222241 1 Re · 0 Img · JPG· 30KB · (414 × 318) 1 Reply >IM COMPLETELY CERTAIN, THERE IS NO ONE LIVING INSIDE YOUR FAN >ITS SPINNING BECAUSE OF UUUUH ELE-ELECTRICTY YEAH, THERE DEFINITELY ISNT ANYBODY SPINNING IT WITH THEIR HANDS MANUALLY JUST ELECTRICITY BRO
1h (10/12 14:30) · 12222241 1 Re · 0 Img · JPG· 30KB · (414 × 318) 1 Reply >IM COMPLETELY CERTAIN, THERE IS NO ONE LIVING INSIDE YOUR FAN >ITS SPINNING BECAUSE OF UUUUH ELE-ELECTRICTY YEAH, THERE DEFINITELY ISNT ANYBODY SPINNING IT WITH THEIR HANDS MANUALLY JUST ELECTRICITY BRO

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The great fart wars | /r/Greentext

>be in 8th grade >have secret fart wars with a guy from 7th grade >whenever we pass each other in school we would fart at each other when nobody was around or make slow movements like secret 41 KB JPG agents to fart unnoticed >we make more and more risky maneuvers trying to outfart each other >one day I see him alone standing in the middle of the school yard >sprint towards him, grab him by the jacket and let the most rancid foul fart blast out of my ass >stand there victorious and proud over his shallow husk >suddenly he bursts into tears of laughter >niggawhut? >turn around >headmistress was walking closeby and stands there starring at me with a face of shock and disgust >guy is literally rolling on the floor laughing >l panic and run away with tears in my eyes >this was the day i defeated myself in the fart wars Haven't farted since
>be in 8th grade >have secret fart wars with a guy from 7th grade >whenever we pass each other in school we would fart at each other when nobody was around or make slow movements like secret 41 KB JPG agents to fart unnoticed >we make more and more risky maneuvers trying to outfart each other >one day I see him alone standing in the middle of the school yard >sprint towards him, grab him by the jacket and let the most rancid foul fart blast out of my ass >stand there victorious and proud over his shallow husk >suddenly he bursts into tears of laughter >niggawhut? >turn around >headmistress was walking closeby and stands there starring at me with a face of shock and disgust >guy is literally rolling on the floor laughing >l panic and run away with tears in my eyes >this was the day i defeated myself in the fart wars Haven't farted since

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Who’s that girl? | /r/Greentext

File: 07188DC7-6D6E-4631-B02D-4(...).jpg (10 KB, 133x236) Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)13:39:30 No.846538150 [Reply] >>846539464 >new gf of one month >comfortable talking to eachother about anything >opens up to me >says she's bi >letsfuckingo.mov >might get some double c--- surprise >week goes by >calls me up while I'm shopping >says to come straight up to her room when come home >says there may or may not be another woman there >h-------- here it is >buy s--- >drive home so fast im practically sliding down the road >arrive and go upstairs >she's waiting for me >ask where she is >"right here anon" >pulls out knife and stabs me all of a sudden, calling me a home invader >mfw she meant bipolar
File: 07188DC7-6D6E-4631-B02D-4(...).jpg (10 KB, 133x236) Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)13:39:30 No.846538150 [Reply] >>846539464 >new gf of one month >comfortable talking to eachother about anything >opens up to me >says she's bi >letsfuckingo.mov >might get some double c--- surprise >week goes by >calls me up while I'm shopping >says to come straight up to her room when come home >says there may or may not be another woman there >h-------- here it is >buy s--- >drive home so fast im practically sliding down the road >arrive and go upstairs >she's waiting for me >ask where she is >"right here anon" >pulls out knife and stabs me all of a sudden, calling me a home invader >mfw she meant bipolar

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That hurts | /r/Greentext

File: 1447801133114.jpg (116 KB, 1920x1080) Anonymous 11/17/15(Tue)19:08:54 No.24340048 [Reply] How do orcs know what menus are? +4 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 11/17/15(Tue)19:15:52 No.24340172 Same way you know what a vagina is They heard other people talking about them
File: 1447801133114.jpg (116 KB, 1920x1080) Anonymous 11/17/15(Tue)19:08:54 No.24340048 [Reply] How do orcs know what menus are? +4 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 11/17/15(Tue)19:15:52 No.24340172 Same way you know what a vagina is They heard other people talking about them

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anon can't sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)19:28:20 No.846566063 >can't sleep >break into neighbor's house and cuddle with him >he starts freaking out >choke him out 112 KB PNG >he passes out >spoon with him >best sleep in a while
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)19:28:20 No.846566063 >can't sleep >break into neighbor's house and cuddle with him >he starts freaking out >choke him out 112 KB PNG >he passes out >spoon with him >best sleep in a while

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this is so fucking sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #

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anon calls suicide hotline | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/21 (Fri)01:43:15 No.846590604 >going through alot of s--- >call suicide hotline >guy asks me to tell him what is causing my problems >start telling him >mfw 5 minutes in i hear a single gunshot from the other end of the 12 KB JPG phone
: Anonymous 02/05/21 (Fri)01:43:15 No.846590604 >going through alot of s--- >call suicide hotline >guy asks me to tell him what is causing my problems >start telling him >mfw 5 minutes in i hear a single gunshot from the other end of the 12 KB JPG phone

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