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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy
>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy

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Slip ‘N Slide | /r/Greentext

File: 769[1].png (955 KB, 871x867) /fit/ cringe Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)16:29:55 No.59587126 [Reply] >>59587459 >>59587462 >get /fit/ after 4 years of lifting, cutting >finally get with a girl at a party >we're in a bedroom making out (my first kiss + tongue kiss) >she takes my hand and puts it on her crotch >feel bold and go under the waistband >feel my first p---- >feel shocked and stutter >"w-w-woah... your p-p---- is so damp..." >she pauses for a sec but continues making out >go in with my fingers >"t-that's a soakin' pus' right there" >she lightly pushes me away and leaves the room
File: 769[1].png (955 KB, 871x867) /fit/ cringe Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)16:29:55 No.59587126 [Reply] >>59587459 >>59587462 >get /fit/ after 4 years of lifting, cutting >finally get with a girl at a party >we're in a bedroom making out (my first kiss + tongue kiss) >she takes my hand and puts it on her crotch >feel bold and go under the waistband >feel my first p---- >feel shocked and stutter >"w-w-woah... your p-p---- is so damp..." >she pauses for a sec but continues making out >go in with my fingers >"t-that's a soakin' pus' right there" >she lightly pushes me away and leaves the room

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Anon is 5'5 | /r/Greentext

File: 62410403.jpg (176 KB, 1000x1620) O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)14:14:18 No.62096357 [Reply] >>62097009 >>62097074 >>62097360 >dad finds out I'm gay >cool with it, at least to the point he doesn't change how he treats me >f----- two guys the other day >dad is over next morning >they left stuff behind >they arrive unannounced to get it >they try to tease me and get in >dad sees them >they take their stuff and leave >he puts two and two together and realizes I'm a bottom because I'm 5'5 and they were both over six feet tall >says "I'm okay with you being gay but can you at least be the one on top?" + 43 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)15:29:24 No.62097009 >>62096357 (OP) >I'm a bottom because I'm 5'5 and they were both over six feet tall Oh really? That's not how it works in my house.
File: 62410403.jpg (176 KB, 1000x1620) O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)14:14:18 No.62096357 [Reply] >>62097009 >>62097074 >>62097360 >dad finds out I'm gay >cool with it, at least to the point he doesn't change how he treats me >f----- two guys the other day >dad is over next morning >they left stuff behind >they arrive unannounced to get it >they try to tease me and get in >dad sees them >they take their stuff and leave >he puts two and two together and realizes I'm a bottom because I'm 5'5 and they were both over six feet tall >says "I'm okay with you being gay but can you at least be the one on top?" + 43 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)15:29:24 No.62097009 >>62096357 (OP) >I'm a bottom because I'm 5'5 and they were both over six feet tall Oh really? That's not how it works in my house.

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Anon likes fishing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)07:16:25 No.846118909 ITT: stupid s--- you've done while still new at work I'll start >start job at corporate office >go to bathroom >take s--- AUTISTIC CHILD AREA 103 KB JPG >try to flush >it won't flush >decide to go sneak styrofoam cup from break room to scoop out logs >get cup >fish the poo out of the forbidden soup >throw s--- filled cup in trash >no one knows why it still smelled like s--- in restroom after toilets were clean View Thread
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)07:16:25 No.846118909 ITT: stupid s--- you've done while still new at work I'll start >start job at corporate office >go to bathroom >take s--- AUTISTIC CHILD AREA 103 KB JPG >try to flush >it won't flush >decide to go sneak styrofoam cup from break room to scoop out logs >get cup >fish the poo out of the forbidden soup >throw s--- filled cup in trash >no one knows why it still smelled like s--- in restroom after toilets were clean View Thread

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Salt on French Fries

1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.
1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.

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Anon is the /b/iano man | /r/Greentext

File: AFEABD8F-988D-4F94-AEB9-5753338B1728.jpg (99 KB, 900x900) O Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)21:07:04 No.845018086 [Reply] It's nine o' clock on a Saturday, regular crowd logs in There's an oldfag posting next to me, saying /b/s current state is a sin. He says, "Anon, can you post me a memory, when this place only had anime? It was sad and for weebs with no retarded memes and i think it was better that way." Make us a post, you're the /bliano man, Make us a post tonight Well we're all in the mood for some comedy, And you've got us feeling alright. Now Anon in the thread is a friend of mine, He gets me my p--- for free. And he's quick with a post about i----- or ghosts, But there's a feels thread where he'd rather be. He says, "Anon, I believe this is killing me" as he dreams of a Japanese spouse, "I'm sure l'd be a hentai artist, if I could just leave my mom's house." Now Anon is a welding bitcoin miner, Who never could land a girlfriend, And he's talking with Anon, who's close to a bannin', For lolis he tries to defend. And the f------ all rant about politics, As the junkies they slowly get stoned. They all post in thread about loneliness, But it's better than posting alone. Make us a post, you're the /bliano man, make us a post tonight Well we're all in the mood for some comedy, and you've got us feeling alright. It's a pretty good thread for a Saturday, and Hiroshi gives me a smile. "Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see to forget about life for a while And YLYL reeks of potassium! And we're pretty sure OP's a queer! And they sit in their beds, posting jokes in their threads and say "Man, what am I doing here?" Make us a post, you're the /b/iano man, make us a post tonight Well we're all in the mood for some comedy, and you've got us feeling alright.
File: AFEABD8F-988D-4F94-AEB9-5753338B1728.jpg (99 KB, 900x900) O Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)21:07:04 No.845018086 [Reply] It's nine o' clock on a Saturday, regular crowd logs in There's an oldfag posting next to me, saying /b/s current state is a sin. He says, "Anon, can you post me a memory, when this place only had anime? It was sad and for weebs with no retarded memes and i think it was better that way." Make us a post, you're the /bliano man, Make us a post tonight Well we're all in the mood for some comedy, And you've got us feeling alright. Now Anon in the thread is a friend of mine, He gets me my p--- for free. And he's quick with a post about i----- or ghosts, But there's a feels thread where he'd rather be. He says, "Anon, I believe this is killing me" as he dreams of a Japanese spouse, "I'm sure l'd be a hentai artist, if I could just leave my mom's house." Now Anon is a welding bitcoin miner, Who never could land a girlfriend, And he's talking with Anon, who's close to a bannin', For lolis he tries to defend. And the f------ all rant about politics, As the junkies they slowly get stoned. They all post in thread about loneliness, But it's better than posting alone. Make us a post, you're the /bliano man, make us a post tonight Well we're all in the mood for some comedy, and you've got us feeling alright. It's a pretty good thread for a Saturday, and Hiroshi gives me a smile. "Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see to forget about life for a while And YLYL reeks of potassium! And we're pretty sure OP's a queer! And they sit in their beds, posting jokes in their threads and say "Man, what am I doing here?" Make us a post, you're the /b/iano man, make us a post tonight Well we're all in the mood for some comedy, and you've got us feeling alright.

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Anon is confused about homosexuality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21 (Sat)09:36:36 No.846119679 >hear my whole life that being gay isn't a choice >learn about political lesbians who base their entire movement ! on pushing women to choose to be gay >be confused 106 KB PNG Seriously /b/ros how does this make any sense...are heterosexual women just a myth? : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)09:39:31 No.846119775 Women do not have sexualities. Their sexuality is W----. >>846119824 #
: Anonymous 01/30/21 (Sat)09:36:36 No.846119679 >hear my whole life that being gay isn't a choice >learn about political lesbians who base their entire movement ! on pushing women to choose to be gay >be confused 106 KB PNG Seriously /b/ros how does this make any sense...are heterosexual women just a myth? : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)09:39:31 No.846119775 Women do not have sexualities. Their sexuality is W----. >>846119824 #

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Jesus Marie! They‘re minerals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/19(Sat)00:31:16 No.798335037 >be me >have a pretty s-----, boring day >feels sucky >go home >look at rock and mineral collection >feel happier instantly 23 KB JPG Thank you rock and mineral collection
: Anonymous 04/27/19(Sat)00:31:16 No.798335037 >be me >have a pretty s-----, boring day >feels sucky >go home >look at rock and mineral collection >feel happier instantly 23 KB JPG Thank you rock and mineral collection

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Anon's therapist thinks he's gay. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)20:10:14 No.42703665 >talking to therapist >asking s--- about my personal life one day, friends and family s--- >asks if ever had a gf >say no >she asks if l'm gay >tell her no and ask why she'd think that >she says it's strange l'm so uncomfortable around her plus I'm a virgin so she just assumed >get mad call her a c--- >she tells me I shouldn't be ashamed to be gay >tell her to suck a d--- >she laughs >storm out and never go back
: Anonymous 01/23/18(Tue)20:10:14 No.42703665 >talking to therapist >asking s--- about my personal life one day, friends and family s--- >asks if ever had a gf >say no >she asks if l'm gay >tell her no and ask why she'd think that >she says it's strange l'm so uncomfortable around her plus I'm a virgin so she just assumed >get mad call her a c--- >she tells me I shouldn't be ashamed to be gay >tell her to suck a d--- >she laughs >storm out and never go back

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Anon is polish | /r/Greentext

Polska >Be me >Be 1/8th polish but don't speak any >Started my new job a couple weeks ago >The guy I sit next to asks if I'm part Polish >'Uhhhh yeah, I guess' >He asks me what is my favourite phrase in Polish >Don't speak any but I decide to humour him >'Oh well there are many I could choose from but my favourite is Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' >He says 'Sorry what?' >I repeat 'Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' >He asks what it means >'Oh it's a very beautiful phrase in Polish, it means I am a weeping willow searching for love' >He repeats it to make sure he heard correctly >'Shnare shnoshnoshnoshnosh?" >l pretend to correct him >Shnare ShnoshNOSHnoshnosh' >We go back and forth with this made up Polish phrase several times over >Mfw about 10 other people in the office are now looking at us like we're mentally ill >All they heard was me and this other guy repeatedly saying 'Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' to one another
Polska >Be me >Be 1/8th polish but don't speak any >Started my new job a couple weeks ago >The guy I sit next to asks if I'm part Polish >'Uhhhh yeah, I guess' >He asks me what is my favourite phrase in Polish >Don't speak any but I decide to humour him >'Oh well there are many I could choose from but my favourite is Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' >He says 'Sorry what?' >I repeat 'Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' >He asks what it means >'Oh it's a very beautiful phrase in Polish, it means I am a weeping willow searching for love' >He repeats it to make sure he heard correctly >'Shnare shnoshnoshnoshnosh?" >l pretend to correct him >Shnare ShnoshNOSHnoshnosh' >We go back and forth with this made up Polish phrase several times over >Mfw about 10 other people in the office are now looking at us like we're mentally ill >All they heard was me and this other guy repeatedly saying 'Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' to one another

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Anon was at a healthy weight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)07:20:40 No.846116817 >be me >at a healthy weight >discover butter 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)07:20:40 No.846116817 >be me >at a healthy weight >discover butter 8 KB JPG

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)15:25:14 No. Pese be patient 1 have >be me >14 >find out about 4chan fast forward a month >find out im gay >get diagnosed with autism mfw im the prime target for 4chan bullying
O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)15:25:14 No. Pese be patient 1 have >be me >14 >find out about 4chan fast forward a month >find out im gay >get diagnosed with autism mfw im the prime target for 4chan bullying

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Anon forgets how to sleep | /r/Greentext

O F--- Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:02:32 No.62094685 >>62094688 >>62095182 >Be me >Going to bed >Put covers on >Forget to close eyes >Stay awake for 6 hours before realizing I have to close my eyes to sleep >Sleep.png
O F--- Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:02:32 No.62094685 >>62094688 >>62095182 >Be me >Going to bed >Put covers on >Forget to close eyes >Stay awake for 6 hours before realizing I have to close my eyes to sleep >Sleep.png

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Anon is in a movie. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/20(Sat)20:36:38 No.826674449 >at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying раpers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/02/20(Sat)20:36:38 No.826674449 >at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying раpers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is Judas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god
: Anonymous 2/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god

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Anon meets a latina | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am
Anonymous 16 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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Anon solves the problem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/10/14(Wed) 11:43:03 No.28608503 >Doing deadlifts >Some f------ kid runs around my gym >Runs into my leg as I'm trying to lockout the lift 58 KB JPG >l drop the bar into the ground, loudly >Tell the kid to piss off >His mother shows up, angry as f--- >Tells me to stop lifting around the kids >Reply that she should keep the kids away from me >Next day >F------ kid is bothering me again when im doing chest >Slam the weights loudly right next to him >Kid cries, tells his mom that I'm scary >The mom flips out, gives me a huge rant about what a meathead I am >l yell back, she eventually starts crying and runs off with both her kids >She moves out, never see her or the little s---- again >Homegym masterrace >>28608544 # >>28608562 #
Anonymous 09/10/14(Wed) 11:43:03 No.28608503 >Doing deadlifts >Some f------ kid runs around my gym >Runs into my leg as I'm trying to lockout the lift 58 KB JPG >l drop the bar into the ground, loudly >Tell the kid to piss off >His mother shows up, angry as f--- >Tells me to stop lifting around the kids >Reply that she should keep the kids away from me >Next day >F------ kid is bothering me again when im doing chest >Slam the weights loudly right next to him >Kid cries, tells his mom that I'm scary >The mom flips out, gives me a huge rant about what a meathead I am >l yell back, she eventually starts crying and runs off with both her kids >She moves out, never see her or the little s---- again >Homegym masterrace >>28608544 # >>28608562 #

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Anon in the Military | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)02:14:16 No.62089777 >Be me >Live in the original tortilla land >Go to military summer camp a few years ago >Going really nice, like it >One day a tard gets assigned to our 10 KB JPG company >We now have to carry this dead weight with us Ffw a few days >Go visit a nearby military base >Walk 3 km to the bus stop >Tard asks if he can go to the bathroom > Officer says no >1'5 hours in the bus >Doesn't go to the bus' bathroom for some reason >We get to the base >We form up at the hangar/hall >200 kids and many military personnel >the tard starts pissing himself >everybody looking and laughing, even the soldiers were laughing >the sergeant just looks away with dissapointment >goes back to the base with the same pant >Mfw we were the piss company for the rest of the camp
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)02:14:16 No.62089777 >Be me >Live in the original tortilla land >Go to military summer camp a few years ago >Going really nice, like it >One day a tard gets assigned to our 10 KB JPG company >We now have to carry this dead weight with us Ffw a few days >Go visit a nearby military base >Walk 3 km to the bus stop >Tard asks if he can go to the bathroom > Officer says no >1'5 hours in the bus >Doesn't go to the bus' bathroom for some reason >We get to the base >We form up at the hangar/hall >200 kids and many military personnel >the tard starts pissing himself >everybody looking and laughing, even the soldiers were laughing >the sergeant just looks away with dissapointment >goes back to the base with the same pant >Mfw we were the piss company for the rest of the camp

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Anon plays vidya | /r/Greentext

>be me as a child >spend all day everyday playing video games >fake sickness to stay home and play starcraft >be teen and keep playing vidya >skip school to stay competitive in online shooters >end up dropping out of high school >on welfare living with parents as a 28 year old useless hedonist >still playing video games everyday as an adult >spend what little money I have on alcohol, weed and steam games that can't be torrented >would rather do this than anything else >stalk old mates on facebook and laugh at their wagie positions and being married to women past their prime and forced to take care of future slaves (kids) F--- school and f--- work. I will never work a day in my life. I will never contribute anything to this society. My life is video games only.
>be me as a child >spend all day everyday playing video games >fake sickness to stay home and play starcraft >be teen and keep playing vidya >skip school to stay competitive in online shooters >end up dropping out of high school >on welfare living with parents as a 28 year old useless hedonist >still playing video games everyday as an adult >spend what little money I have on alcohol, weed and steam games that can't be torrented >would rather do this than anything else >stalk old mates on facebook and laugh at their wagie positions and being married to women past their prime and forced to take care of future slaves (kids) F--- school and f--- work. I will never work a day in my life. I will never contribute anything to this society. My life is video games only.

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Anon plays Persona | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)14:25:29 No.542333413 09/10 SA Evening Nanako Welcome home! maxresdefault (24).jpg 63 KB JPG >go to school >talk to no one >go home alone immediately after school >nobody greats you >go straight to bedroom and sit at computer until you fall asleep >never go to any events or festivals >never increase any stats Has anyone actually tried roleplaying themselves in Persona?
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)14:25:29 No.542333413 09/10 SA Evening Nanako Welcome home! maxresdefault (24).jpg 63 KB JPG >go to school >talk to no one >go home alone immediately after school >nobody greats you >go straight to bedroom and sit at computer until you fall asleep >never go to any events or festivals >never increase any stats Has anyone actually tried roleplaying themselves in Persona?

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