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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)10:37:28 No.846047056 ITT, weird wet dreams. Faggotville >be me POPULATION : OP >stopped watching p--- and jerking off for 3 days because was just not feeling it/ >had dream last night where I was in middle school again with my first 58 KB JPG gf >and we were horny af >f------ everywhere >wake up hard af with nut >j------- and nut thinking of the dream H--------, I never had a wet dream in forever, and this is like amazing. 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)10:37:28 No.846047056 ITT, weird wet dreams. Faggotville >be me POPULATION : OP >stopped watching p--- and jerking off for 3 days because was just not feeling it/ >had dream last night where I was in middle school again with my first 58 KB JPG gf >and we were horny af >f------ everywhere >wake up hard af with nut >j------- and nut thinking of the dream H--------, I never had a wet dream in forever, and this is like amazing. 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is in school | /r/Greentext


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Hep finds a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/19(Tue)08:46:58 No.52633633 >name Hep >Hep very small, very hungry >no have tribe, all day hunt small meat in bush >one day find big pig in big bush >pig needs lots of bonks, but Hep keep trying >bad pig go to sleep, Hep eat pig 9 KB PNG >no more hungry, and still have meat >Hep tired from doing bonks >put meat in pack, Hep did good job today >hug pack, Hep go to sleep >but then hear noise >open eyes, wild wuff sniff Hep >Hep scared, but stay very still >Wuff small, Wuff just bone >no wuff tribe, wuff all alone >Hep all alone too >Open pack, take meat in hand >Give to Wuff >Wuff take meat, no take hand >Wuff yawn, lay down >Hep and wuff hunt together now >Wuff find meat, Hep bonk meat >play game like catch-bone, chase, play-fight >Hep hug Wuff when sleep, no more cold >Hep not alone, Wuff gud fren What your gud fren story?
: Anonymous 05/28/19(Tue)08:46:58 No.52633633 >name Hep >Hep very small, very hungry >no have tribe, all day hunt small meat in bush >one day find big pig in big bush >pig needs lots of bonks, but Hep keep trying >bad pig go to sleep, Hep eat pig 9 KB PNG >no more hungry, and still have meat >Hep tired from doing bonks >put meat in pack, Hep did good job today >hug pack, Hep go to sleep >but then hear noise >open eyes, wild wuff sniff Hep >Hep scared, but stay very still >Wuff small, Wuff just bone >no wuff tribe, wuff all alone >Hep all alone too >Open pack, take meat in hand >Give to Wuff >Wuff take meat, no take hand >Wuff yawn, lay down >Hep and wuff hunt together now >Wuff find meat, Hep bonk meat >play game like catch-bone, chase, play-fight >Hep hug Wuff when sleep, no more cold >Hep not alone, Wuff gud fren What your gud fren story?

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Anon is a hypocrite | /r/Greentext

adfafdtrh.jpg 78 KB JPG >be me >go to the capitol raid >participate and shout things like "deomocrats are the devil" >everyone around me thinks I am one of them >go home that day pretty exhausted >get into comfy clothing and start posting on twitter how dumb all the people raiding the capitol are
adfafdtrh.jpg 78 KB JPG >be me >go to the capitol raid >participate and shout things like "deomocrats are the devil" >everyone around me thinks I am one of them >go home that day pretty exhausted >get into comfy clothing and start posting on twitter how dumb all the people raiding the capitol are

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)08:09:50 No.62079454 >be me, introverted smart boyo >no gf >shave and buy stockings >become gf myself >get love and sex I need, enjoy it 1.06 MB PNG Why wouldn't you do the same?
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)08:09:50 No.62079454 >be me, introverted smart boyo >no gf >shave and buy stockings >become gf myself >get love and sex I need, enjoy it 1.06 MB PNG Why wouldn't you do the same?

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anon installs windows 98 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21 (Fri)10:27:43 No.846046556 >year 1999 >get pirated copy of windows 98 >install it walm at sarnct >soon as i plug in dial up >Bill f------ Gates bust through l Micrecoft window 59 KB JPG >'oops, looks like your Windows install is broke. Let me help you repair it' >picks up piece of broken glass and starts stabbing me >he grabs my ethernet cable >'im going to cut off your air ways at 1000 MBps!' >starts to choke me >c-- >i pass out >he throws CRT monitor on me >takes a s--- on my face >leaves And that is why i use Linux. F--- bill gates and microsoft
: Anonymous 01/29/21 (Fri)10:27:43 No.846046556 >year 1999 >get pirated copy of windows 98 >install it walm at sarnct >soon as i plug in dial up >Bill f------ Gates bust through l Micrecoft window 59 KB JPG >'oops, looks like your Windows install is broke. Let me help you repair it' >picks up piece of broken glass and starts stabbing me >he grabs my ethernet cable >'im going to cut off your air ways at 1000 MBps!' >starts to choke me >c-- >i pass out >he throws CRT monitor on me >takes a s--- on my face >leaves And that is why i use Linux. F--- bill gates and microsoft

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anon has an epiphany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP)# >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP)# >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon discovers Skittles secrets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/20(Fri)19:21:22 No.58286746 PRIDE EDITION FAMILYSI FRuits Skittles During Pride only one mainbos matters #onarainbous TOTALLYTHEBOMB.COM Skittles Is Removing The Color From Their Candies In Support Of Pride Month and I Want Some 1590184161939.jpg 668 KB JPG >skittles make "pride skittles" by removing the colored ones >whites only >it literally says SS on the candy you can't make this s--- up
: Anonymous 05/22/20(Fri)19:21:22 No.58286746 PRIDE EDITION FAMILYSI FRuits Skittles During Pride only one mainbos matters #onarainbous TOTALLYTHEBOMB.COM Skittles Is Removing The Color From Their Candies In Support Of Pride Month and I Want Some 1590184161939.jpg 668 KB JPG >skittles make "pride skittles" by removing the colored ones >whites only >it literally says SS on the candy you can't make this s--- up

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Anon is wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a 231 KB PNG source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site
: Anonymous 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a 231 KB PNG source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site

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Anon goes hollow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)06:45:32 No.542294379 ELDEN RING maxresdefault (1).jpg 79KB JPG >Miyazaki announces he's releasing some Elden Ring news >Hype is unreal >Presentation starts >"Elden Ring... will feature unforgiving combat, different classes, and a poison swamp area" >Presentation ends
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)06:45:32 No.542294379 ELDEN RING maxresdefault (1).jpg 79KB JPG >Miyazaki announces he's releasing some Elden Ring news >Hype is unreal >Presentation starts >"Elden Ring... will feature unforgiving combat, different classes, and a poison swamp area" >Presentation ends

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Anon doesn’t get women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days 70 KB JPG >millions of women consider this a great love story Why are women like this?
: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days 70 KB JPG >millions of women consider this a great love story Why are women like this?

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If he liquidates, he liquidates | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: aCJyA3D8 ) 01/28/21(Thu)20:46:17 No.26928524 File: 1611854898763.jpg (11 KB, 225x225) >>26928797 >>26929721 >>26926785 (OP) # >>26927126 # >Hedgie hedgie jump off ledgie >Liquidated by retards edgy >Bulls are comfy, Bulls are cool >Bulls bought $GME with loans from school >Hedgie shorts and hedgie dies >Bulls eat tendies, sauce, and fries
O Anonymous (ID: aCJyA3D8 ) 01/28/21(Thu)20:46:17 No.26928524 File: 1611854898763.jpg (11 KB, 225x225) >>26928797 >>26929721 >>26926785 (OP) # >>26927126 # >Hedgie hedgie jump off ledgie >Liquidated by retards edgy >Bulls are comfy, Bulls are cool >Bulls bought $GME with loans from school >Hedgie shorts and hedgie dies >Bulls eat tendies, sauce, and fries

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Anon has a friend over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)12:03:19 No.845975258 >break up with gf >best friend comes over on weekend >go out drinking >get home s-------- >I show him her nudes >He shows me his mom's nudes >long story >we start rubbing our d---- over our pants >"hey whose d--- is bigger? lol" >start jerking off next to each other >eventually jerk each other off >didn't even feel gay >go to bed and don't talk about it ever
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)12:03:19 No.845975258 >break up with gf >best friend comes over on weekend >go out drinking >get home s-------- >I show him her nudes >He shows me his mom's nudes >long story >we start rubbing our d---- over our pants >"hey whose d--- is bigger? lol" >start jerking off next to each other >eventually jerk each other off >didn't even feel gay >go to bed and don't talk about it ever

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Anon plays Overwatch | /r/Greentext

O how do i fix this anons?? Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)23:20:52 >be me >19 >9/10 looks but autistic >always been kinda desperate for girls >my bad social skills and confidence destroys my potential >after yet another friendzone i finally give up >begin to focus on myself >hit the gym >build confidence >discover /fit/ and become even more autistic >start acknowledging my genetic advantage (9/10 looks) >in my mind i am basically a chad >haven't talked to any girls since my recent friendzone (lockdown) >bored >queue up for some Overwatch games >get teamed up with mercy main e-girl twice in a row >she recognizes my name and says hello or some s--- >instantly feel myself blushing, sweaty palms, rising pulse ect. i f------ hate this
O how do i fix this anons?? Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)23:20:52 >be me >19 >9/10 looks but autistic >always been kinda desperate for girls >my bad social skills and confidence destroys my potential >after yet another friendzone i finally give up >begin to focus on myself >hit the gym >build confidence >discover /fit/ and become even more autistic >start acknowledging my genetic advantage (9/10 looks) >in my mind i am basically a chad >haven't talked to any girls since my recent friendzone (lockdown) >bored >queue up for some Overwatch games >get teamed up with mercy main e-girl twice in a row >she recognizes my name and says hello or some s--- >instantly feel myself blushing, sweaty palms, rising pulse ect. i f------ hate this

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I loved grade 7 | /r/Greentext

>be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way >we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground >she tells me to take my pants off >lol wut >ask her why >tells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off >standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk >try not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf >recess is over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home >tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out >tells my dad >ive made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs. johnson
>be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way >we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground >she tells me to take my pants off >lol wut >ask her why >tells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off >standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk >try not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf >recess is over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home >tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out >tells my dad >ive made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs. johnson

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Anon tries to flirt | /r/Greentext

Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking 273 KB PNG >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up"
Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking 273 KB PNG >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up"

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Anon has a panic attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG

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Anon took his therapist's advice | /r/Greentext

>go to therapist >ask for help with being social >she gives me homework >say hello to 20 people on the street before our next session >okletsdothis.gif >walking home from her office, pass a middle aged guy >"hi! how are you?" >holyshitididit.mp4 >"not too bad! how are you? god it's cold out!" 84.3 kB PNG >f--- he's starting a conversation. >"eh yeah... i dont like cold" >"do you live nearby? i'm just across here. maybe a cup of tea will warm you up" >wow this is easy, i'm already making friends >we go up to his apartment and he puts the kettle on >"so good christmas? spend it with your gf?" he asks >"um... no. with my parents. no gf" >"oh. break up with your last one recently?" >"uh... i've never had a gf" >"that's strange, nice looking young fella like yourself" he says and winks at me. >he sits down next to me and puts his hand on my knee and starts moving it up my thigh "ehhh i have to go to the bathroom" i say and run out of his apartment my therapist almost got me sodomized
>go to therapist >ask for help with being social >she gives me homework >say hello to 20 people on the street before our next session >okletsdothis.gif >walking home from her office, pass a middle aged guy >"hi! how are you?" >holyshitididit.mp4 >"not too bad! how are you? god it's cold out!" 84.3 kB PNG >f--- he's starting a conversation. >"eh yeah... i dont like cold" >"do you live nearby? i'm just across here. maybe a cup of tea will warm you up" >wow this is easy, i'm already making friends >we go up to his apartment and he puts the kettle on >"so good christmas? spend it with your gf?" he asks >"um... no. with my parents. no gf" >"oh. break up with your last one recently?" >"uh... i've never had a gf" >"that's strange, nice looking young fella like yourself" he says and winks at me. >he sits down next to me and puts his hand on my knee and starts moving it up my thigh "ehhh i have to go to the bathroom" i say and run out of his apartment my therapist almost got me sodomized

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Anon defeats a redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >not know anything about 4chan >forge greentexts on mspaint for karma >horny redditor finds dumb discrepency >downvote redditor 21 KB JPG >redditor defeated
: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >not know anything about 4chan >forge greentexts on mspaint for karma >horny redditor finds dumb discrepency >downvote redditor 21 KB JPG >redditor defeated

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Muscle girls rule | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting shoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #
: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting shoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #

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