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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f-----
Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f-----

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Anon goes to GameStop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Today at Gamestop 04/16/19(Tue)11:06:28 No.458697650 Please be patient I have autism >Getting checked out by qt3.14 cashier girl >easily an 8/10 >buying Sekiro today >cashier girl asks "Do you want to donate to autism speaks today?" >"Haha no actually i'd prefer they stop speaking all together" 43 KB JPG >Her f------ face >The absolute disgust What the f--- is wrong with me /v/? Why did I have to waste 6 years of my life on this godforsaken site?
: Anonymous Today at Gamestop 04/16/19(Tue)11:06:28 No.458697650 Please be patient I have autism >Getting checked out by qt3.14 cashier girl >easily an 8/10 >buying Sekiro today >cashier girl asks "Do you want to donate to autism speaks today?" >"Haha no actually i'd prefer they stop speaking all together" 43 KB JPG >Her f------ face >The absolute disgust What the f--- is wrong with me /v/? Why did I have to waste 6 years of my life on this godforsaken site?

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Anon gets bad news | /r/Greentext

File: monke.jpg (81 KB, 899x527) Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu) No.845967807 > be me > at home > eating pizza > suddenly phone rings > pick up > voice says "monke has fall" > NO00O! > it no longer makes sense to live > continue eating pizza
File: monke.jpg (81 KB, 899x527) Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu) No.845967807 > be me > at home > eating pizza > suddenly phone rings > pick up > voice says "monke has fall" > NO00O! > it no longer makes sense to live > continue eating pizza

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Anon is indian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:54:22 No.62073940 Femanons, would you date an Indian man? 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:56:10 No.62073979 >>62073940 (OP) # Vikram, my moms computer needs updating again, get off 4chan and give her a call, ok?
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:54:22 No.62073940 Femanons, would you date an Indian man? 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:56:10 No.62073979 >>62073940 (OP) # Vikram, my moms computer needs updating again, get off 4chan and give her a call, ok?

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anon gets stocks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:18:55 No.846014840 >hear about the GameStop stock s--- >want to get in on it >room mate brags about having a 555-COME-ON-NOW bunch of GME and AMC stocks >bash his skull in with lead pipe >i NOW have GME and AMC 133 KB PNG stocks How can it be THIS easy???
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)22:18:55 No.846014840 >hear about the GameStop stock s--- >want to get in on it >room mate brags about having a 555-COME-ON-NOW bunch of GME and AMC stocks >bash his skull in with lead pipe >i NOW have GME and AMC 133 KB PNG stocks How can it be THIS easy???

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Anon fucks | /r/Greentext

File: cgtqramtins31.png (638 KB, 1080x1153) O Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)21:37:08 No.845984999 > Tis I, Chad > be banging some married 6/10 > good head and ok with spanking and loud moaning so not complaining > front door slams downstairs, must be the cuck > throw my shoe at him as he walks by the bedroom to instate and assert dominance > his wife screams at him > scuttles to his room quickly. i can hear him log on to his computer by the sound of his mechanical keyboard > hear him chuckle > woman is moaning in ecstacy while i flood her fertile womb with my seed > it's been a good day > he suddenly comes back, his face and clothes and fingers covered in orange dust > mumbles something about internet culture while pointing to his wife's creampied c---
File: cgtqramtins31.png (638 KB, 1080x1153) O Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)21:37:08 No.845984999 > Tis I, Chad > be banging some married 6/10 > good head and ok with spanking and loud moaning so not complaining > front door slams downstairs, must be the cuck > throw my shoe at him as he walks by the bedroom to instate and assert dominance > his wife screams at him > scuttles to his room quickly. i can hear him log on to his computer by the sound of his mechanical keyboard > hear him chuckle > woman is moaning in ecstacy while i flood her fertile womb with my seed > it's been a good day > he suddenly comes back, his face and clothes and fingers covered in orange dust > mumbles something about internet culture while pointing to his wife's creampied c---

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Anon finishes their exam | /r/Greentext

Literally just happened >be me >college student >taking exam online at midnight because Chinese Sneeze >hear screaming >whatever someone's drunk 6 KB JPG >screaming continues >open door and look outside >some old dude harassing college kids from the street >ignore it >screaming continues >imthoroughlyannoyed.exe >open door >tell guy to shut up or I'm calling the cops >tells me to do it and that I'm bitch >whatever >call cops >tell them someone's screaming and raising hell and give location >see police cruiser and sheriff stroll past house minutes later >hear yelling >hear gunshots Don't bother me while I'm taking quizzes you f------ junkie
Literally just happened >be me >college student >taking exam online at midnight because Chinese Sneeze >hear screaming >whatever someone's drunk 6 KB JPG >screaming continues >open door and look outside >some old dude harassing college kids from the street >ignore it >screaming continues >imthoroughlyannoyed.exe >open door >tell guy to shut up or I'm calling the cops >tells me to do it and that I'm bitch >whatever >call cops >tell them someone's screaming and raising hell and give location >see police cruiser and sheriff stroll past house minutes later >hear yelling >hear gunshots Don't bother me while I'm taking quizzes you f------ junkie

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Anon is Australian | /r/Greentext

>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad I'm not an American.
>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad I'm not an American.

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anon goes to the doctor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)18:08:24 No.845998550 _91408619_55df76d5-2245-41c1-8031-07a4da3f313f.jpg 29 KB JPG >go to doctor >female nurse touches my arm to take blood pressure >c-- while flacid I dont get touched much
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)18:08:24 No.845998550 _91408619_55df76d5-2245-41c1-8031-07a4da3f313f.jpg 29 KB JPG >go to doctor >female nurse touches my arm to take blood pressure >c-- while flacid I dont get touched much

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Anon is trapped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.44291860 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG >>44291943 #
: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.44291860 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG >>44291943 #

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Anon knows basic biology | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Jab0+LDQ ) 01/28/21(Thu >>305502762 (OP) >Why is Ben Shapiro such a f------ Jew? He has jewish parents
Anonymous (ID: Jab0+LDQ ) 01/28/21(Thu >>305502762 (OP) >Why is Ben Shapiro such a f------ Jew? He has jewish parents

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Anon looses billions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: do6PaYs7 )01/27/21(Wed)16:22:06 No.26728952 >make rigged casino >make it so slot machines have a 0% chance of paying out >make it a progressive jackpot worth millions upon billions of dollars >nobody wins for many years >finally after all this time someone finds a bug in the system and the dreaded jackpot finally hits >comes time to pay out but dont have nearly enough to do so, this scenario was never planned for, has to pay by 83 KB PNG law >forced to sell the casino and everything in it >NOO00000000000000000000000000000C YOU PLAYED THE SLOT MACHINE WRONG YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOSE NOO00000000000000000
: Anonymous (ID: do6PaYs7 )01/27/21(Wed)16:22:06 No.26728952 >make rigged casino >make it so slot machines have a 0% chance of paying out >make it a progressive jackpot worth millions upon billions of dollars >nobody wins for many years >finally after all this time someone finds a bug in the system and the dreaded jackpot finally hits >comes time to pay out but dont have nearly enough to do so, this scenario was never planned for, has to pay by 83 KB PNG law >forced to sell the casino and everything in it >NOO00000000000000000000000000000C YOU PLAYED THE SLOT MACHINE WRONG YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOSE NOO00000000000000000

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Bamboozled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me
Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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Anons in china | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/18(Wed)13:06:33 No.776592144 >chinese surveillance system checking peolpe on the streets >scans guy >1.300.000.000 possible matches 13 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/08/18(Wed)13:06:33 No.776592144 >chinese surveillance system checking peolpe on the streets >scans guy >1.300.000.000 possible matches 13 KB JPG

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: U0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: U0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread

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anon does it himself! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:11:23 No.845994812 >be 12 >me and friend wonder if there really is a afterlife >come up with plan >friend will blow brains out 35 KB JPG >respawn >meet back up for pizza >bulletproof.jpg >he does the deed >14 years later >still no sign of him I knew he was to retarded to handle such a mission. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself >cocks gun None of you f--- touch my s--- while i'm gone
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:11:23 No.845994812 >be 12 >me and friend wonder if there really is a afterlife >come up with plan >friend will blow brains out 35 KB JPG >respawn >meet back up for pizza >bulletproof.jpg >he does the deed >14 years later >still no sign of him I knew he was to retarded to handle such a mission. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself >cocks gun None of you f--- touch my s--- while i'm gone

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life be hard tho | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/19(Sun)15:33:23 No.804637632 >be me >have one shot at life >be me 68 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 07/14/19(Sun)15:33:23 No.804637632 >be me >have one shot at life >be me 68 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon becomes gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw

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Anon becomes food critic | /r/Greentext

>be me >on the bike >going downhill fast >talking with my friends >my mouth wide open >went through a swarm of flies >some fly entered my mouth >"well, if it's already in my mouth 300 KB JPG let's see what it tastes like" It was a terrible combination of extremely sour and extremely bitter taste. Would not recommend. Don't eat flies, anons.
>be me >on the bike >going downhill fast >talking with my friends >my mouth wide open >went through a swarm of flies >some fly entered my mouth >"well, if it's already in my mouth 300 KB JPG let's see what it tastes like" It was a terrible combination of extremely sour and extremely bitter taste. Would not recommend. Don't eat flies, anons.

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Anon is underpaid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:05:04 No.845951089 Domino's dominos-im-just-trying-to-get-by-but-im-still-3764411.png 92 KB PNG >deliver $72 of pepperoni pizza to a black family in the hood >no tip
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:05:04 No.845951089 Domino's dominos-im-just-trying-to-get-by-but-im-still-3764411.png 92 KB PNG >deliver $72 of pepperoni pizza to a black family in the hood >no tip

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