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Anon is an elite hackerman | /r/Greentext

Ibl Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)09:40:21 No.845707015 >be me >elite hackerman >i have ransomed more than 69 terabytes of nudes >i have the nudes of the hottest women in the world >i leak onlyfans once and fbi gets involved >i freak out >i hide all the evidence > readys escape tunnel > readys plan b >plan b is suicide > fbi knock on door > turns out they just wanted some nudes
Ibl Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)09:40:21 No.845707015 >be me >elite hackerman >i have ransomed more than 69 terabytes of nudes >i have the nudes of the hottest women in the world >i leak onlyfans once and fbi gets involved >i freak out >i hide all the evidence > readys escape tunnel > readys plan b >plan b is suicide > fbi knock on door > turns out they just wanted some nudes

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Anon dabbles in the supernatural | /r/Greentext


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Anon is good at math | /r/Greentext


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Anon was the ugly kid | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a sick fuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:42:47 No.845661732 >watching TV >see another Bread for the World commercial for the 50th time today >j------- for the 50th time today 53 KB JPG Ever since i discovered i have a malnutrition fetish, i notice more of these starvation charity commercials playing. Like they are c--- teasing me or something. Who knew charities were so naughty
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:42:47 No.845661732 >watching TV >see another Bread for the World commercial for the 50th time today >j------- for the 50th time today 53 KB JPG Ever since i discovered i have a malnutrition fetish, i notice more of these starvation charity commercials playing. Like they are c--- teasing me or something. Who knew charities were so naughty

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext


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I think Anon likes Godzilla more | /r/Greentext

I'm sorry, but the amount of retards that think King Kong is going to win against Godzilla is hilarious. Like seriously, let's match them up: 190 KB PNG King Kong: >super strong >monkey >probably eats his own s--- >died to airplanes/bullets Godzilla >atomic breath >sprial atomiC ray >nuclear pulse >energy absorption >super durability >regenative healing factor >immense super strength >super stamina >can use its tail for attack >flight >can live either in the water or land >intelligence that can surpass humans >people actully had to more effort in killing him than just using guns Seriously, I am all ears, how can king kong win this?
I'm sorry, but the amount of retards that think King Kong is going to win against Godzilla is hilarious. Like seriously, let's match them up: 190 KB PNG King Kong: >super strong >monkey >probably eats his own s--- >died to airplanes/bullets Godzilla >atomic breath >sprial atomiC ray >nuclear pulse >energy absorption >super durability >regenative healing factor >immense super strength >super stamina >can use its tail for attack >flight >can live either in the water or land >intelligence that can surpass humans >people actully had to more effort in killing him than just using guns Seriously, I am all ears, how can king kong win this?

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Gigachad helps anon in the kitchen | /r/Greentext

gigachad2.jpg 67 KB JPG >Hey soyjak, I just finished cleaning the kitchen. You really need to take better care of your pans - I had to soak the cast iron one overnight and scrub the hell out of it with steel wool just to get all that grime off the bottom.
gigachad2.jpg 67 KB JPG >Hey soyjak, I just finished cleaning the kitchen. You really need to take better care of your pans - I had to soak the cast iron one overnight and scrub the hell out of it with steel wool just to get all that grime off the bottom.

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Anon has it good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)10:08:19 No.53656767 >be boomer >cooking steak on the grill >using spare college degrees to fuel fire >smells like when we used to ORISTAL napalm the g---- >flip steak >top side of steak is branded with 100 KB JPG Ronald Reagan's face >l can feel the patriotism coursing through my veins >pick up bottle of steak sauce >bottle is empty These damn millennials are f------ us in the ass.
: Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)10:08:19 No.53656767 >be boomer >cooking steak on the grill >using spare college degrees to fuel fire >smells like when we used to ORISTAL napalm the g---- >flip steak >top side of steak is branded with 100 KB JPG Ronald Reagan's face >l can feel the patriotism coursing through my veins >pick up bottle of steak sauce >bottle is empty These damn millennials are f------ us in the ass.

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anon buys a sex robot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)20:59:35 No.845684149 >buy sex droid from amazon >boot her up walm >'BeckyAl version 0.9304 running on Windows Vista' >'who is user?' Microroft 59 KB JPG >point to me >she stares at me for a few moments >she reaches for gun on nearby table and blows her motherboard out of her cranium >mfw it is the 3rd bot to do this in a row Well i guess its back to r----- for casual sex
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)20:59:35 No.845684149 >buy sex droid from amazon >boot her up walm >'BeckyAl version 0.9304 running on Windows Vista' >'who is user?' Microroft 59 KB JPG >point to me >she stares at me for a few moments >she reaches for gun on nearby table and blows her motherboard out of her cranium >mfw it is the 3rd bot to do this in a row Well i guess its back to r----- for casual sex

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Anons computer dies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)17:14:36 No.845668083 >*hear grinding noise* >*start to stumble* >*looks at me* >*sad 80s movie music starts to play* >i've seen things you people 394 KB PNG wouldn't believe >folders and folders of memes in the 'Documents' directory >20 chrome tabs of questionable hentai up at once then suddenly closed >movies and games pirated in mass >all those moments...will be lost in time >like, tears...in rain >*looks at me and smiles* >time, to die >*dove flys away in slow motion* >mfw my hard drive of the last 12 years just died
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)17:14:36 No.845668083 >*hear grinding noise* >*start to stumble* >*looks at me* >*sad 80s movie music starts to play* >i've seen things you people 394 KB PNG wouldn't believe >folders and folders of memes in the 'Documents' directory >20 chrome tabs of questionable hentai up at once then suddenly closed >movies and games pirated in mass >all those moments...will be lost in time >like, tears...in rain >*looks at me and smiles* >time, to die >*dove flys away in slow motion* >mfw my hard drive of the last 12 years just died

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Anon destroy white kids | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)23:36:10 No.138321587 >in primary school >white kid calls me some racist O9 s--- >l tell him santa isn't real >he starts crying and tells the teacher 90 KB JPG >l get in trouble does this happen in your country
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)23:36:10 No.138321587 >in primary school >white kid calls me some racist O9 s--- >l tell him santa isn't real >he starts crying and tells the teacher 90 KB JPG >l get in trouble does this happen in your country

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Anon barbecues chicken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)07:23:02 No.48496147 >be dinner time >barbecuing chicken >touch the chicken breast See ya later virgins 151 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)07:23:02 No.48496147 >be dinner time >barbecuing chicken >touch the chicken breast See ya later virgins 151 KB JPG

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Anon doesn't know war | /r/Greentext

aab4b10cb33410d587a7191e363e00d2.jpg 52 KB JPG >be me >have robot friends during WW2 >we're in our comfy foxholes >drinking some hot joe Why does WW2 look so aesthetic? : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)19:03:50 No.62009417 >>62009182 (OP) # >Dan gets up to s--- and steps on a Land mine >F--- F--- F--- the perimeter was supposed to be clear >We all rush to help him >One legs gone the other a mangled mess >Belly cut open by shrapnel, he's desperately trying to hold his intestines in >On the grass a mixture of s--- and Blood >He's crying and screamin for his mother >John gives him double the dose of morphine to lessen his suffering >Still crying, gives me a letter he was supposed to send to his girlfriend back home >Begs me to tell her he died heroically >Finally loses consciusness >Take his body to home base and get back in the Fox hole >Cant forget his cries >I Need to s--- too >Could have been me
aab4b10cb33410d587a7191e363e00d2.jpg 52 KB JPG >be me >have robot friends during WW2 >we're in our comfy foxholes >drinking some hot joe Why does WW2 look so aesthetic? : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)19:03:50 No.62009417 >>62009182 (OP) # >Dan gets up to s--- and steps on a Land mine >F--- F--- F--- the perimeter was supposed to be clear >We all rush to help him >One legs gone the other a mangled mess >Belly cut open by shrapnel, he's desperately trying to hold his intestines in >On the grass a mixture of s--- and Blood >He's crying and screamin for his mother >John gives him double the dose of morphine to lessen his suffering >Still crying, gives me a letter he was supposed to send to his girlfriend back home >Begs me to tell her he died heroically >Finally loses consciusness >Take his body to home base and get back in the Fox hole >Cant forget his cries >I Need to s--- too >Could have been me

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Anon is 5'8 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)10:31:55 No.46352572 ► >>46352656 >>46352799 >>46343607 (OP) >Go to police station to get a new passport >Stand against the wall to measure height >It says 177 cm >Old one states that my height is 178 >"Looks like you've shrunk" the old lady says as she picks me up and place me on her desk >"Alright little man, sign here" >My signature is difficult to read as I have to hold pencil with both arms while crying >Shamefully exist the police station through the dog hatch
Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)10:31:55 No.46352572 ► >>46352656 >>46352799 >>46343607 (OP) >Go to police station to get a new passport >Stand against the wall to measure height >It says 177 cm >Old one states that my height is 178 >"Looks like you've shrunk" the old lady says as she picks me up and place me on her desk >"Alright little man, sign here" >My signature is difficult to read as I have to hold pencil with both arms while crying >Shamefully exist the police station through the dog hatch

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Anon describes a historical possibility | /r/Greentext

dqv7qdxijg341.jpg 77 KB JPG How would history change if there was a giant disembodied hand that zooms around the planet and crushes one random person with its index finger every day? It's called The Hand and it's always slightly faster than you.
dqv7qdxijg341.jpg 77 KB JPG How would history change if there was a giant disembodied hand that zooms around the planet and crushes one random person with its index finger every day? It's called The Hand and it's always slightly faster than you.

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Anon changes his mind | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/13(Sun)20:15:03 UTC-4 No.513020284 Replies: 22513022101 »5130 ITT. Fastfood stories ril start >be me living at uni >go to Subway to pick up some lunch before class >down time, only 2 other people in there >employee hears the bell and comes out from the back >9/10 skinny blond >holding her phone up to her ear but not talking >I wait a bit and she gives me look >figure she's on hold and I'd better order >Ya, 'Il have a 6-inch BLT on Italian and- >c--- cuts me off >"Cant you see I'm on the f------ phone?r >mtw swait for 2 minutes, 3 more people get in line behind me >finally she finishes listening to her phone >"Alright, the hell do you want?" >dat filename >her mistake was bitching at me, a former Subway employee >time to f--- up her day >order a footlong double-meat meatball sub on honey wheat bread >that bread tears easier than any other and meatball subs are impossible to close correctly with a regular amount of meatballs >make her microwave that s--- for 2 minutes >she tries to use napkins to take it out so she's not burned >fails miserably >order all the vegies >she tries to place a tiny bit of each kind on it >make her double everything >guy behind me laughing his ass off >bread is stretched completely open and tearing >time to destroy this sandwich for sure >ask for oil, say tell her l say when she's used enough >wait for her to stop on her own >make her double that >oil bottle is basically empty >added an assortment of other sauces >just picked the ones that would dye her uniform the best colors >sandwich is 40% sauces >she calls me an a------ and attempts to close the damn thing >sandwich immediaty spews all of its contents all over her uniform, $200 jeans, and 500 shoes >she starts crying >lean over the counter >Tve changed my mind, I'd like a 6-inch BLT on Italian."
Anonymous 10/27/13(Sun)20:15:03 UTC-4 No.513020284 Replies: 22513022101 »5130 ITT. Fastfood stories ril start >be me living at uni >go to Subway to pick up some lunch before class >down time, only 2 other people in there >employee hears the bell and comes out from the back >9/10 skinny blond >holding her phone up to her ear but not talking >I wait a bit and she gives me look >figure she's on hold and I'd better order >Ya, 'Il have a 6-inch BLT on Italian and- >c--- cuts me off >"Cant you see I'm on the f------ phone?r >mtw swait for 2 minutes, 3 more people get in line behind me >finally she finishes listening to her phone >"Alright, the hell do you want?" >dat filename >her mistake was bitching at me, a former Subway employee >time to f--- up her day >order a footlong double-meat meatball sub on honey wheat bread >that bread tears easier than any other and meatball subs are impossible to close correctly with a regular amount of meatballs >make her microwave that s--- for 2 minutes >she tries to use napkins to take it out so she's not burned >fails miserably >order all the vegies >she tries to place a tiny bit of each kind on it >make her double everything >guy behind me laughing his ass off >bread is stretched completely open and tearing >time to destroy this sandwich for sure >ask for oil, say tell her l say when she's used enough >wait for her to stop on her own >make her double that >oil bottle is basically empty >added an assortment of other sauces >just picked the ones that would dye her uniform the best colors >sandwich is 40% sauces >she calls me an a------ and attempts to close the damn thing >sandwich immediaty spews all of its contents all over her uniform, $200 jeans, and 500 shoes >she starts crying >lean over the counter >Tve changed my mind, I'd like a 6-inch BLT on Italian."

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Anon is belle delphine | /r/Greentext

File: 303C378A-F84E-4F1E-A497-B(.).jpg (46 KB, 510x451) Anonymous (ID: LimqxmqT) 05/24/20(Sun)16:42:31 No.258658039 >Be white >Be thin >aww yeah thinandwhiteprivilege.png >Have wealthy parents >Attend expensive private school in the UK thanks to wealthy parents >Become internet phenomenon in 2010s >Siblings are relatively unknown >Loved and hated in equal measure >Criticized by jealous fat western feminists >Darling of alt-right autistic western weeaboos >Subject of thousands of internet memes created by incels on facebook, reddit, 4chan etc. >Be Bashar al-Assad Pic unrelated
File: 303C378A-F84E-4F1E-A497-B(.).jpg (46 KB, 510x451) Anonymous (ID: LimqxmqT) 05/24/20(Sun)16:42:31 No.258658039 >Be white >Be thin >aww yeah thinandwhiteprivilege.png >Have wealthy parents >Attend expensive private school in the UK thanks to wealthy parents >Become internet phenomenon in 2010s >Siblings are relatively unknown >Loved and hated in equal measure >Criticized by jealous fat western feminists >Darling of alt-right autistic western weeaboos >Subject of thousands of internet memes created by incels on facebook, reddit, 4chan etc. >Be Bashar al-Assad Pic unrelated

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >l will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy
| Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >l will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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anon sleeps on his friends couch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 No.845659188 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone 26 KB JPG sex >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?" >'you like it when daddy s---- himself? >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 No.845659188 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone 26 KB JPG sex >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?" >'you like it when daddy s---- himself? >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls

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