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Anon goes to McDonald's | /r/Greentext

File: 9f5.jpg (62 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 09/20/20(Sun)16:27:12 No.836366234 > be me > hanging at mcdonalds > see two gorls sitting near by > 8/10 and 6/10 respectively > 8/10 gets up to go to the bathroom > showtime.jpg > get up from my seat and lock eyes with 6/10 > approach her head on and sit down in her friend's seat > start rapidly shovelling 8/10's fries into my mouth > 6/10 is too shocked to do anything > when all the fries are gone I go back to my seat and resume eating my meal > 8/10 comes back and sees her fries are gone, starts yelling at her friend > you bitch why did you eat all my fries > it wasn't me it was that guy! She points at me > her friend just straight up doesn't believe her > accuses her of lying and walks out of the restaurant > 6/10 still sitting there, staring at me dumbfounded > casually finish eating my meal and leave > know she'll remember me for rest of her life > mfw girls think l'm unforgettable
File: 9f5.jpg (62 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 09/20/20(Sun)16:27:12 No.836366234 > be me > hanging at mcdonalds > see two gorls sitting near by > 8/10 and 6/10 respectively > 8/10 gets up to go to the bathroom > showtime.jpg > get up from my seat and lock eyes with 6/10 > approach her head on and sit down in her friend's seat > start rapidly shovelling 8/10's fries into my mouth > 6/10 is too shocked to do anything > when all the fries are gone I go back to my seat and resume eating my meal > 8/10 comes back and sees her fries are gone, starts yelling at her friend > you bitch why did you eat all my fries > it wasn't me it was that guy! She points at me > her friend just straight up doesn't believe her > accuses her of lying and walks out of the restaurant > 6/10 still sitting there, staring at me dumbfounded > casually finish eating my meal and leave > know she'll remember me for rest of her life > mfw girls think l'm unforgettable

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Anon has gets causgt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swire TO MEKT normiest site 136 KB JPG
: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swire TO MEKT normiest site 136 KB JPG

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Anon plays minecraft | /r/Greentext

>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom
>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom

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Anon has a racist professor | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds
Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds

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Anon has runas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago 772881820 >Working graveyard. >Little skank walks in to buy cigs. >She's wearing a thong bottom and a bandana for a top. >She gets Camel 99's, needs matches. >She strolls outside, lit up a smoke. >l follow, light up my own. >Smoking together, like nothing. >She takes off the bandana, and reties it. >Nice t---. >Are you gay Anon? >No lady, I'm liking the show. >That isn't the show, what happens when you lay me down is the show. >Hands me hotel key. >Walks away. >Get off work, head up street to hotel. >Open door to room, she's asleep. >Now what? >Note on TV, take a shower and crawl in naked. >What the hell >Take shower. >Crawl into bed naked, she's naked. >She turned over, not the right girl. >She screams, I run. >Nightly news says young lady got her purse stolen at bar, then attacked by naked man at hotel. >Police sketch sucks, no worries. >Lived in fear for 5years. >Never got popped.
Anonymous 6 hours ago 772881820 >Working graveyard. >Little skank walks in to buy cigs. >She's wearing a thong bottom and a bandana for a top. >She gets Camel 99's, needs matches. >She strolls outside, lit up a smoke. >l follow, light up my own. >Smoking together, like nothing. >She takes off the bandana, and reties it. >Nice t---. >Are you gay Anon? >No lady, I'm liking the show. >That isn't the show, what happens when you lay me down is the show. >Hands me hotel key. >Walks away. >Get off work, head up street to hotel. >Open door to room, she's asleep. >Now what? >Note on TV, take a shower and crawl in naked. >What the hell >Take shower. >Crawl into bed naked, she's naked. >She turned over, not the right girl. >She screams, I run. >Nightly news says young lady got her purse stolen at bar, then attacked by naked man at hotel. >Police sketch sucks, no worries. >Lived in fear for 5years. >Never got popped.

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Anon orange in the ti | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)13:52:45 No.134576054 >in Croatia with my parents >walking down the street >a croat woman is tending to some little tree in her garden >my dad approaches her near the fence and says with thick slavic accent >"ORANGE?" >she says "yes" 55 KB JPG >we walk away ORANGE? yes. بن شاببرو مز عج اورانج بن شابيرو مزعج آورائج
: Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)13:52:45 No.134576054 >in Croatia with my parents >walking down the street >a croat woman is tending to some little tree in her garden >my dad approaches her near the fence and says with thick slavic accent >"ORANGE?" >she says "yes" 55 KB JPG >we walk away ORANGE? yes. بن شاببرو مز عج اورانج بن شابيرو مزعج آورائج

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Anon has skanina | /r/Greentext

A Anonymous I 197235376 2 hr. ago >>197232712 >tfw go to pub >tfw make bet with memesters that I can fit 20 £1 coins in my foreskin >ffw they say I can't >tfw tell them to get me 20 £1 coins and l'll prove it >tfw they give me 20 £1 coins >tfw put one under the foreskin >tfw take it out and put it to one side >tfw do this for the remaining 19 £1 coins >tfw "Oh, I guess you guys were right. Here, take your money back" >tfw no one wants it because it's been in my foreskin >tfw leave pub £20 richer by virtue of not being Jewish I tell you, those Rabbis missed an absolute racket by mutilating themselves.
A Anonymous I 197235376 2 hr. ago >>197232712 >tfw go to pub >tfw make bet with memesters that I can fit 20 £1 coins in my foreskin >ffw they say I can't >tfw tell them to get me 20 £1 coins and l'll prove it >tfw they give me 20 £1 coins >tfw put one under the foreskin >tfw take it out and put it to one side >tfw do this for the remaining 19 £1 coins >tfw "Oh, I guess you guys were right. Here, take your money back" >tfw no one wants it because it's been in my foreskin >tfw leave pub £20 richer by virtue of not being Jewish I tell you, those Rabbis missed an absolute racket by mutilating themselves.

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The student known as 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21 (Wed)21:32:53 No.62165987 >in ZOOM class for online uni lecture >everyone keeps webcam off except for prof >beginning last week, one guy would turn on his webcam, pick his You can call mei laser but in the gaming Morld real bfe all yount you're the loser 50 KB JPG nose, then turn it off >never speaks. looks like your average robot (fat, black circles under eyes, blatantly thinning long hair) >does this in random intervals roughly every 10 minutes >sometimes bites his nails or cleans his ears before turning the camera off again I just don't understand. Is it some sort of fetish, display of dominance? It's been going on way too regularly to be coincidental.
: Anonymous 02/03/21 (Wed)21:32:53 No.62165987 >in ZOOM class for online uni lecture >everyone keeps webcam off except for prof >beginning last week, one guy would turn on his webcam, pick his You can call mei laser but in the gaming Morld real bfe all yount you're the loser 50 KB JPG nose, then turn it off >never speaks. looks like your average robot (fat, black circles under eyes, blatantly thinning long hair) >does this in random intervals roughly every 10 minutes >sometimes bites his nails or cleans his ears before turning the camera off again I just don't understand. Is it some sort of fetish, display of dominance? It's been going on way too regularly to be coincidental.

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YLYL - dinner edition | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)23:46:44 No.15514671 >>15510560 (OP) # Food related not eating: >be 13 >hanging out with friends in the summer >we're all hungry >spend an hour going to each other's houses and scraping together just enough cash between us to walk to the local pizza shop and order a large pizza to split >walk like 4 miles through fields and some woods to get there from our neighborhood >order the pizza, wait around 20 mins for it to be ready >walking out the door >our klutz friend we made the mistake of letting carry the box trips >pizza flies out of the box and lands cheese side down in a patch of mud where the sidewalk cuts away around a tree >never let him forget about it for the past 20 years
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)23:46:44 No.15514671 >>15510560 (OP) # Food related not eating: >be 13 >hanging out with friends in the summer >we're all hungry >spend an hour going to each other's houses and scraping together just enough cash between us to walk to the local pizza shop and order a large pizza to split >walk like 4 miles through fields and some woods to get there from our neighborhood >order the pizza, wait around 20 mins for it to be ready >walking out the door >our klutz friend we made the mistake of letting carry the box trips >pizza flies out of the box and lands cheese side down in a patch of mud where the sidewalk cuts away around a tree >never let him forget about it for the past 20 years

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Anon with his little tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon does not play games | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)01:32:54 No.542973931 File: uuuuuuu.png (276 KB, 444x466) >>542995163 >>543001340 >vidya discussion comes up at work >"haha yeah, the next Fifa blah blah blah, COD blah blah, Apex Legends this and that, Fornite skin dance floss LOL" >".anon you've been quiet today. I guess you don't play many video games then?" >10 speedruns submitted to leaderboards for 4 different games >".heh, yeah I guess not."
Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)01:32:54 No.542973931 File: uuuuuuu.png (276 KB, 444x466) >>542995163 >>543001340 >vidya discussion comes up at work >"haha yeah, the next Fifa blah blah blah, COD blah blah, Apex Legends this and that, Fornite skin dance floss LOL" >".anon you've been quiet today. I guess you don't play many video games then?" >10 speedruns submitted to leaderboards for 4 different games >".heh, yeah I guess not."

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Anon dodged a bullet | /r/Greentext

>be me >just graduated from high School >meet this girl through a friend of mine >we get along well >couple weeks later we start dating >she tells me about her ex, that 85 KB JPG apperently dumped her >Tell her im sorry >she sends me all these couple goals type of s--- Tik toks and even shares obvious interest in my hobbies(skiing, wakeboarding and gym) >we cuddle and watch movies and even cook together >obviossign.jpeg >after 2 weeks i ask her to be my gf >she says yes and we start to make out >feelsgoodman >drive home feeling happy and loved for one time >next day she calls me while im working out at my bros place >"anon i think its all going too fast between us“ >„ok take your time no pressure" >she continues ,that's sweet anon, but i think i don't wanna see you anymore" >w--.png >"a. al. right did i do sth wrong?" >"i just think we shouldn't be together and i don't really have feelings for you anymore, >she hangs up >im literally left speachless >the one timeI thought things were going well this s--- happens. I thought i had someone to talk to, i even planned her valentines present >I guess the gym is my therapy again >i mean what is the deal with woman these days
>be me >just graduated from high School >meet this girl through a friend of mine >we get along well >couple weeks later we start dating >she tells me about her ex, that 85 KB JPG apperently dumped her >Tell her im sorry >she sends me all these couple goals type of s--- Tik toks and even shares obvious interest in my hobbies(skiing, wakeboarding and gym) >we cuddle and watch movies and even cook together >obviossign.jpeg >after 2 weeks i ask her to be my gf >she says yes and we start to make out >feelsgoodman >drive home feeling happy and loved for one time >next day she calls me while im working out at my bros place >"anon i think its all going too fast between us“ >„ok take your time no pressure" >she continues ,that's sweet anon, but i think i don't wanna see you anymore" >w--.png >"a. al. right did i do sth wrong?" >"i just think we shouldn't be together and i don't really have feelings for you anymore, >she hangs up >im literally left speachless >the one timeI thought things were going well this s--- happens. I thought i had someone to talk to, i even planned her valentines present >I guess the gym is my therapy again >i mean what is the deal with woman these days

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Anon has dipressdeddedded | /r/Greentext

253243234554.jpg 18 KB JPG >open steam library >stare at games >open chrome >"google.com" >stare at screen >"youtube.com" >scroll down >close browser >stare at desktop icons of games >open steam library >repeat for 3 hours until it's socially acceptable to start making noise
253243234554.jpg 18 KB JPG >open steam library >stare at games >open chrome >"google.com" >stare at screen >"youtube.com" >scroll down >close browser >stare at desktop icons of games >open steam library >repeat for 3 hours until it's socially acceptable to start making noise

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Anon gets a taste of fame | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)19:11:52 No.846450793 >be me >post s----- greentext on reddit >get 20k upvotes >so thats pretty neat 284 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)19:11:52 No.846450793 >be me >post s----- greentext on reddit >get 20k upvotes >so thats pretty neat 284 KB PNG

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Anon about communists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: iib/Hmnc ) 02/04/21(Thu)13:03:18 No.306542480 >"Workers of the world unite" >doesn't work 205 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: iib/Hmnc ) 02/04/21(Thu)13:03:18 No.306542480 >"Workers of the world unite" >doesn't work 205 KB JPG View Thread

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Powers of persuasion | /r/Greentext


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Anon wants money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NxhBpv0e) 01/29/21(Fri)09:46:33 No.26948209 >tfw a new get rich quick scheme pops up every 10 minutes that you're not a part of 178 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: NxhBpv0e) 01/29/21(Fri)09:46:33 No.26948209 >tfw a new get rich quick scheme pops up every 10 minutes that you're not a part of 178 KB JPG

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Manual Matrix Glitch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/17/13(Fri)15:28 No.12646957 One time I perpetrated a reality glitch on my gf. >Be in college >Walk gf to bus stop that takes her to the building her classroom is in. (It's a big college.) >She gets on bus. >I start sprinting towards a bike I had placed hours earlier at a bike rack. >Look behind me as I ride away, bus doesn't leave until about 30 seconds after I take off. >Make it to the building (1 mile from where I started) >Quickly lock bike up and go just inside the doorway of the building. >See bus approaching. >Walk outside >Just happen to run into gf >Say hey, what's up? >She is visibly shaken, and asks how I got here. >l explain that I had to use the building's computer lab after class and was just leaving. >She says she was just talking to me 3 minutes ago. >l just roll my eyes, chuckle and walk away. >Later learn she had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. >I haven't told her what really happened to this day.
Anonymous 05/17/13(Fri)15:28 No.12646957 One time I perpetrated a reality glitch on my gf. >Be in college >Walk gf to bus stop that takes her to the building her classroom is in. (It's a big college.) >She gets on bus. >I start sprinting towards a bike I had placed hours earlier at a bike rack. >Look behind me as I ride away, bus doesn't leave until about 30 seconds after I take off. >Make it to the building (1 mile from where I started) >Quickly lock bike up and go just inside the doorway of the building. >See bus approaching. >Walk outside >Just happen to run into gf >Say hey, what's up? >She is visibly shaken, and asks how I got here. >l explain that I had to use the building's computer lab after class and was just leaving. >She says she was just talking to me 3 minutes ago. >l just roll my eyes, chuckle and walk away. >Later learn she had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. >I haven't told her what really happened to this day.

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Anon remembers having confidence | /r/Greentext

No.62131000 1 hour ago missionsuceeded.jpg JPG 67.9 KİB 750x920 >Be me >15 >My friend group decides we are all gonna take turn giving each other compliments >My turn to compliment one of the girls >Can't think of anything to say >"Anon, its your turn" >Panic >Dumbidea.jpg >l say "You have a nice ass" >Everyone starts laughing >mfw she genuinely looks happy to have her ass complimented >Mission succeeded I wish I still had that kind of confidence
No.62131000 1 hour ago missionsuceeded.jpg JPG 67.9 KİB 750x920 >Be me >15 >My friend group decides we are all gonna take turn giving each other compliments >My turn to compliment one of the girls >Can't think of anything to say >"Anon, its your turn" >Panic >Dumbidea.jpg >l say "You have a nice ass" >Everyone starts laughing >mfw she genuinely looks happy to have her ass complimented >Mission succeeded I wish I still had that kind of confidence

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