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Anon is german | /r/Greentext

EnW1_HNWEAYTRWN~2.jpg 66 KB JPG >germans when you call it the toilet instead of the poopenfarten
EnW1_HNWEAYTRWN~2.jpg 66 KB JPG >germans when you call it the toilet instead of the poopenfarten

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Anon meets a skinwalker | /r/Greentext


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Anon considers respawning | /r/Greentext


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Anon shits on his teacher | /r/Greentext

>be me >live in s------- country >get acces to a computer early childhood >learn a little bit of english online >play various different online games and learn a little bit more >reach highschool >our school is one of the first ones to 79 KB JPG introduce english as a subject >backinthedays.webm >get english lessons >mfw my s----- online english is at least 10x better than that of the teacher >mfw everybody thinks I am some kind of Shakespeare
>be me >live in s------- country >get acces to a computer early childhood >learn a little bit of english online >play various different online games and learn a little bit more >reach highschool >our school is one of the first ones to 79 KB JPG introduce english as a subject >backinthedays.webm >get english lessons >mfw my s----- online english is at least 10x better than that of the teacher >mfw everybody thinks I am some kind of Shakespeare

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Anon loses family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/25/15(Fri)14:08:30 No.659349701 >be 7 >living with mom and dad >one day men come and take me away from home >they put me in a concentration camp with others like me 71 KB JPG >we're put into groups based on race and height >stay there for a while >one day someone comes and buys me >they take me home and tie me up with wire >they stick hooks into me and slowly watch me die >they throw my body in the street >mfw im a christmas tree
: Anonymous 12/25/15(Fri)14:08:30 No.659349701 >be 7 >living with mom and dad >one day men come and take me away from home >they put me in a concentration camp with others like me 71 KB JPG >we're put into groups based on race and height >stay there for a while >one day someone comes and buys me >they take me home and tie me up with wire >they stick hooks into me and slowly watch me die >they throw my body in the street >mfw im a christmas tree

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Anon goes partying | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets buffaloed | /r/Greentext


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Anon is patriot | /r/Greentext


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Anon is good boy | /r/Greentext


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Anon's uncle is high af | /r/Greentext


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Anon misses high school | /r/Greentext


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Anon trains neck | /r/Greentext

File: imagem_2021-01-27_011759.png (802 KB, 2558x1439) O Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)06:48:50 No.59560705 >>59560726 >>59560746 >>59560998 >be me >train neck >hard to behead >be you >don't train neck >easy to behead >>>> O Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)06:51:21 No.59560746 ► >>59560982 >>59560705 (OP) >be you >have to suffer through two axe swings before beheaded >be me >only have to deal with the one swing without suffering
File: imagem_2021-01-27_011759.png (802 KB, 2558x1439) O Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)06:48:50 No.59560705 >>59560726 >>59560746 >>59560998 >be me >train neck >hard to behead >be you >don't train neck >easy to behead >>>> O Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)06:51:21 No.59560746 ► >>59560982 >>59560705 (OP) >be you >have to suffer through two axe swings before beheaded >be me >only have to deal with the one swing without suffering

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Damn boomers | /r/Greentext

>Be THC oil cartridge >Very popular among teens as it gets you extremely stoned and the smell dissipates faster than smoke 26 KB JPG >Kids are retarded and buy cheap cartridges from chinese Instagram accounts that ship directly to your house because they don't know how to use the darknet >Kids start getting sick by vaping low quality THC cartridges with dangerous ingredients >Big tobacco uses this as an opportunity to demonize all vapes, including nicotine vapes >boomers eat it up without question >Trump is set to ban vaping flavored nicotine juice >Cigarettes are still okay though Boomers are retarded. 237 Replies / 34 Images View Thread
>Be THC oil cartridge >Very popular among teens as it gets you extremely stoned and the smell dissipates faster than smoke 26 KB JPG >Kids are retarded and buy cheap cartridges from chinese Instagram accounts that ship directly to your house because they don't know how to use the darknet >Kids start getting sick by vaping low quality THC cartridges with dangerous ingredients >Big tobacco uses this as an opportunity to demonize all vapes, including nicotine vapes >boomers eat it up without question >Trump is set to ban vaping flavored nicotine juice >Cigarettes are still okay though Boomers are retarded. 237 Replies / 34 Images View Thread

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Anon is rich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: zoW9Bkss 01/27/21(Wed)07:31:18 No.26635352 >told gf l'd get a job >decided to learn how to trade stocks instead during 2020 >bought 100 shares of gme and some gme options >gf said l'd never make it in life and that my way of "getting to the top" is flawed 33 KB JPG >she breakups with me for some random discord dude she met online >3 months later l'm now rich Should I tell her I've made it? or keep it to myself also l'm in AMC now
: Anonymous (ID: zoW9Bkss 01/27/21(Wed)07:31:18 No.26635352 >told gf l'd get a job >decided to learn how to trade stocks instead during 2020 >bought 100 shares of gme and some gme options >gf said l'd never make it in life and that my way of "getting to the top" is flawed 33 KB JPG >she breakups with me for some random discord dude she met online >3 months later l'm now rich Should I tell her I've made it? or keep it to myself also l'm in AMC now

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Anon knows the law | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)11:30:40 No.145709376 >>145709109_(OP)_# If it's the day before their 18th birthday, American courts see them as 18. There was a whole legal precedent set in WW1 because some kid wanted to go to war but they said you're not 18 and he successfully argued that because it was the day before his bodysuit birthday and he was born on day 1 (not day zero) he was 18 years of age. The courts agreed that the day before your 18th birthday, your 17 years and 365 days old, or 18. I'll try to find the case but it's really interesting. >>145709640 # >>145709699 # >>145709881 # : Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)11:42:24 No.145709640 >>145709376 # nerd
: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)11:30:40 No.145709376 >>145709109_(OP)_# If it's the day before their 18th birthday, American courts see them as 18. There was a whole legal precedent set in WW1 because some kid wanted to go to war but they said you're not 18 and he successfully argued that because it was the day before his bodysuit birthday and he was born on day 1 (not day zero) he was 18 years of age. The courts agreed that the day before your 18th birthday, your 17 years and 365 days old, or 18. I'll try to find the case but it's really interesting. >>145709640 # >>145709699 # >>145709881 # : Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)11:42:24 No.145709640 >>145709376 # nerd

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Anon is satisfied | /r/Greentext

File: J4qXoO6.jpg (20 KB, 300x300) Happy feels thread Happy Anonymous 04/11/18(Wed)16:02:07 No.44612105 >Be me today >Walking home >See that grapes are cheap >Buy grapes >Eat grapes while walking >Be me, satisfied 1 replies omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 04/11/18(Wed)16:05:19 No.44612177 >>44612105 >listen to music >i like music >it's good music >thank you music O Anonymous 04/11/18(Wed)16:06:10 No.44612204 >>44612105 >Imagine being this easy to satisfy Anonymous 04/11/18(Wed)16:06:55 No.44612223 >be me depressed the whole day > Sees anon on r9k is happy > Feels happy for anon >No longer depressed >Thank you anon
File: J4qXoO6.jpg (20 KB, 300x300) Happy feels thread Happy Anonymous 04/11/18(Wed)16:02:07 No.44612105 >Be me today >Walking home >See that grapes are cheap >Buy grapes >Eat grapes while walking >Be me, satisfied 1 replies omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 04/11/18(Wed)16:05:19 No.44612177 >>44612105 >listen to music >i like music >it's good music >thank you music O Anonymous 04/11/18(Wed)16:06:10 No.44612204 >>44612105 >Imagine being this easy to satisfy Anonymous 04/11/18(Wed)16:06:55 No.44612223 >be me depressed the whole day > Sees anon on r9k is happy > Feels happy for anon >No longer depressed >Thank you anon

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Femanon tries to get an abortion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)20:10:24 No.782820861 >Be me >17 fem >Try to get abotion >Start to hear whispers in my ear >Look behind me >Needle goes into my throat and I get knocked out 7 KB JPG >Wake up >Im tied to a chair >Look around >See Ben Shapiro >Pulls bat out >Hits me so hard I cant move >Takes the baby out, no painkiller >Says "Libtard, I will raise this baby" >Bleed and die in the middle of nowhere >All I see is ben sapiro chant a magic spell, and the baby grows into a clone of Ben Shapiro >I die a few minutes later
: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)20:10:24 No.782820861 >Be me >17 fem >Try to get abotion >Start to hear whispers in my ear >Look behind me >Needle goes into my throat and I get knocked out 7 KB JPG >Wake up >Im tied to a chair >Look around >See Ben Shapiro >Pulls bat out >Hits me so hard I cant move >Takes the baby out, no painkiller >Says "Libtard, I will raise this baby" >Bleed and die in the middle of nowhere >All I see is ben sapiro chant a magic spell, and the baby grows into a clone of Ben Shapiro >I die a few minutes later

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Anon kills a hamster | /r/Greentext

>>34905987 (OP) # > Be 9 year old me > Get a paratrooper Action Man with parachute > Tie parachute to family hamster > Drop it from the 4th floor > Watch the hamster crash on the 109 KB JPG ground > Old lady nearby starts to scream in horror > SonlAmDisappoint.png > Too much of a p---- to get downstairs to retrieve the corpse > Mom gets home, finds the dead hamster and scolds me > Remember my dad laughing his ass off when she told him what I did in the evening
>>34905987 (OP) # > Be 9 year old me > Get a paratrooper Action Man with parachute > Tie parachute to family hamster > Drop it from the 4th floor > Watch the hamster crash on the 109 KB JPG ground > Old lady nearby starts to scream in horror > SonlAmDisappoint.png > Too much of a p---- to get downstairs to retrieve the corpse > Mom gets home, finds the dead hamster and scolds me > Remember my dad laughing his ass off when she told him what I did in the evening

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Anon likes rocks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/19(Sat)00:31:16 No.798335037 >be me >have a pretty s-----, boring day >feels sucky >go home >look at rock and mineral collection 23 KB JPG >feel happier instantly Thank you rock and mineral collection
: Anonymous 04/27/19(Sat)00:31:16 No.798335037 >be me >have a pretty s-----, boring day >feels sucky >go home >look at rock and mineral collection 23 KB JPG >feel happier instantly Thank you rock and mineral collection

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Every fucking time | /r/Greentext

File: banana pepe.png (191 KB, 610x435) Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)02:32:07 No.845843622 >be me >19 year old white guy >just started university >theres this qt in one of my classes >i talk to her a little bit >she asks me to come over to her place >at first we have some snacks and talk but then we make out >its so good >then all of a sudden she says something >"hey anon i have to tell you a little secret" say ok what is it >she gets up, pulls down her pants and aims her a------ towards me >im too stunned to say anything >then after a second of silence a r--- dwarf launches out of her a------ and latches onto my face >should have known >the r--- dwarf starts jerking its 4 foot c--- >i grab its c--- and start swinging it around like a lasso >i open the window and throw it out onto the street >immediately gets hit by a truck >crisis averted >look back at the girl >shes a pile of ash >damn r--- dwarves >stay safe anons.
File: banana pepe.png (191 KB, 610x435) Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)02:32:07 No.845843622 >be me >19 year old white guy >just started university >theres this qt in one of my classes >i talk to her a little bit >she asks me to come over to her place >at first we have some snacks and talk but then we make out >its so good >then all of a sudden she says something >"hey anon i have to tell you a little secret" say ok what is it >she gets up, pulls down her pants and aims her a------ towards me >im too stunned to say anything >then after a second of silence a r--- dwarf launches out of her a------ and latches onto my face >should have known >the r--- dwarf starts jerking its 4 foot c--- >i grab its c--- and start swinging it around like a lasso >i open the window and throw it out onto the street >immediately gets hit by a truck >crisis averted >look back at the girl >shes a pile of ash >damn r--- dwarves >stay safe anons.

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