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Anon impresses a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen 24 KB JPG >realize I dont even have paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away imgflip.com
: Anonymous 06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen 24 KB JPG >realize I dont even have paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away imgflip.com

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Anon does Cosplay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)13:50:54 No.61904889 >be 18 >cosplaying Jotaro from JoJo >a few girls are excited to see me >one fat Hetalia cosplayer follows me around >start going back to hotel room >notice her following me >tell her to go away >she proceeds to stick her hamburger sized hands down my pants >jerks me off until I c-- >didn't fight back because it felt kind of good >c-- inside pants and on her hand >she licks her hand, smiles, and says "Thanks Jotaro- sama-" >runs off >proceed to puke from shame >shower off the guilt >miss a panel with Bruce Campbell because I was in the shower F------ cons, I missed Bruce Campbell and ruined my pants.
Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)13:50:54 No.61904889 >be 18 >cosplaying Jotaro from JoJo >a few girls are excited to see me >one fat Hetalia cosplayer follows me around >start going back to hotel room >notice her following me >tell her to go away >she proceeds to stick her hamburger sized hands down my pants >jerks me off until I c-- >didn't fight back because it felt kind of good >c-- inside pants and on her hand >she licks her hand, smiles, and says "Thanks Jotaro- sama-" >runs off >proceed to puke from shame >shower off the guilt >miss a panel with Bruce Campbell because I was in the shower F------ cons, I missed Bruce Campbell and ruined my pants.

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Anon witnesses a tard event | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/31/13(Thu)19:11:53 No.513691304 I witnessed the most horrific Tard event. >Be in school >walking down crowded corridor 214 KB PNG >Spot tard holding sandwich >This tard is known for flipping out violently and a wrangler is nowhere to be seen. >Suddenly, amongst the crowd, someone bumps into the tard and knocks his sandwich out his hand. >A slice of ham lands on some quiet kid who is by his locker >ohgodno.avi >Like the horns of Jericho, the tard lets out noise that could bring down the walls of a fortress >He leaps on the quiet kid and tackles him to the ground, eyes glazed over in feral rage >ohshitnigger.jpg >The tard sinks his teeth into this kid's upper thigh, but somehow still roaring >little did I know, thta the quiet kid was suffering from PTSD from a violent dog attack >He flips his s--- and unleashes an epic 45-hit fist combo into the tards face >As the punches keep landing, the tard's face is slowly becoming mushier and redder >The tard increases his bite strengh and his growl grows louder >The quiet kid is now bawling his eyes out but he doesn't cease his furious punching >Blood is beginning to be splattered about the hall from the tard's face >the bite mark is now flowing freely with blood as well >like lightning, the quiet kid grabs the tard's forehead with one hand and right hooks him in the jaw with the other. >audiblecrack.mp3 >the tard flops off the kid and begins writing on the floor, smearing blood and saliva everywhere >the quiet kid looks at his bloodsoaked fists, pukes and passes out (probably from the pain of the bite) >MFW he broke a tard's jaw to free himself >MFW the hallway looks like the f------ somme >MFW at least 10 kids had to have counselling after seeing this Also, Tard stories general.
Anonymous 10/31/13(Thu)19:11:53 No.513691304 I witnessed the most horrific Tard event. >Be in school >walking down crowded corridor 214 KB PNG >Spot tard holding sandwich >This tard is known for flipping out violently and a wrangler is nowhere to be seen. >Suddenly, amongst the crowd, someone bumps into the tard and knocks his sandwich out his hand. >A slice of ham lands on some quiet kid who is by his locker >ohgodno.avi >Like the horns of Jericho, the tard lets out noise that could bring down the walls of a fortress >He leaps on the quiet kid and tackles him to the ground, eyes glazed over in feral rage >ohshitnigger.jpg >The tard sinks his teeth into this kid's upper thigh, but somehow still roaring >little did I know, thta the quiet kid was suffering from PTSD from a violent dog attack >He flips his s--- and unleashes an epic 45-hit fist combo into the tards face >As the punches keep landing, the tard's face is slowly becoming mushier and redder >The tard increases his bite strengh and his growl grows louder >The quiet kid is now bawling his eyes out but he doesn't cease his furious punching >Blood is beginning to be splattered about the hall from the tard's face >the bite mark is now flowing freely with blood as well >like lightning, the quiet kid grabs the tard's forehead with one hand and right hooks him in the jaw with the other. >audiblecrack.mp3 >the tard flops off the kid and begins writing on the floor, smearing blood and saliva everywhere >the quiet kid looks at his bloodsoaked fists, pukes and passes out (probably from the pain of the bite) >MFW he broke a tard's jaw to free himself >MFW the hallway looks like the f------ somme >MFW at least 10 kids had to have counselling after seeing this Also, Tard stories general.

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >tfw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/
: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >tfw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/

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anon has nice tits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)07:42:31 No.845130302 Img-1610977327033.jpg 86 KB JPG >driving >notice shirt is inside out >pull into parking lot to correct it >fix shirt >guy pulls up >'hey nice t---' >hands me a 10 dollar bill >mfw i'm a guy
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)07:42:31 No.845130302 Img-1610977327033.jpg 86 KB JPG >driving >notice shirt is inside out >pull into parking lot to correct it >fix shirt >guy pulls up >'hey nice t---' >hands me a 10 dollar bill >mfw i'm a guy

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Unkindest cut | /r/Greentext

File: breadsliced.jpg (185 KB, 1200x800) Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)08:47:42 No.15414101 [Reply] >>15414421 >Work at sliced bread factory. >All bread is sliced using an automated cutting system with electronically adjusted blades for different thicknesses. >When setting up a pre-set for a new sliced bread product notice that not only can the blades be adjusted at individual different distances, but you can also set intervals on when the blades adjust. >Go into the preset for a standard wholemeal loaf and set every 1000th loaf to have a single slice twice the thickness as all the other slices. >lt's been 2 months and no one has noticed and there haven't been any call backs. >Weird satisfaction knowing that I'm f------ with people's heads when they just find a single slice twice and thick as the rest.
File: breadsliced.jpg (185 KB, 1200x800) Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)08:47:42 No.15414101 [Reply] >>15414421 >Work at sliced bread factory. >All bread is sliced using an automated cutting system with electronically adjusted blades for different thicknesses. >When setting up a pre-set for a new sliced bread product notice that not only can the blades be adjusted at individual different distances, but you can also set intervals on when the blades adjust. >Go into the preset for a standard wholemeal loaf and set every 1000th loaf to have a single slice twice the thickness as all the other slices. >lt's been 2 months and no one has noticed and there haven't been any call backs. >Weird satisfaction knowing that I'm f------ with people's heads when they just find a single slice twice and thick as the rest.

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Show your work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)21:57:23 No.845097683 > be dumb at math af > take the national exam and hope REPORTE DE RESULTADOS ESTUDIANTE •SABER 11°. RESULTADOS GLOBALES PUNTAJE GLOBAL to score minimum 300/500, otherwise my university plans are f----- De 500 puntos posibles, su puntaje global es 149 EN QUÉ PERCENTIL SE ENCUENTRA? Respecto a los evaluodos del poia, ustod esta aqui. > 2 mouths later 20 KB PNG > global score 149 > weird but wanna die right there > take the scores by subject and apply a formula to know the global score by myself > actual score is 356 > think i can really have a good future > scream "ma' venga rapido" with genuine happy eyes > she cames with grandma and brother > show them the math and score and say "everything's fine, the global score was wrong > mom is staring at my math > say "what happen?" > mfw she say i did that s--- wrong > my 149 score actually was right > mfw my brother look at me with those disappointed eyes > grandma just leave > mfw it make completely sense that i score 149 So anons, is there an even worse way to bait yourself?
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)21:57:23 No.845097683 > be dumb at math af > take the national exam and hope REPORTE DE RESULTADOS ESTUDIANTE •SABER 11°. RESULTADOS GLOBALES PUNTAJE GLOBAL to score minimum 300/500, otherwise my university plans are f----- De 500 puntos posibles, su puntaje global es 149 EN QUÉ PERCENTIL SE ENCUENTRA? Respecto a los evaluodos del poia, ustod esta aqui. > 2 mouths later 20 KB PNG > global score 149 > weird but wanna die right there > take the scores by subject and apply a formula to know the global score by myself > actual score is 356 > think i can really have a good future > scream "ma' venga rapido" with genuine happy eyes > she cames with grandma and brother > show them the math and score and say "everything's fine, the global score was wrong > mom is staring at my math > say "what happen?" > mfw she say i did that s--- wrong > my 149 score actually was right > mfw my brother look at me with those disappointed eyes > grandma just leave > mfw it make completely sense that i score 149 So anons, is there an even worse way to bait yourself?

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Anon meets Tard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)20:34:50 No.788782642 Story time >be me 16 at the time >high school >mates and | sneak away every lunch or free period and smoke weed 20 KB JPG >420.jpeg >do this all year >have retard kid in class, doug >dunno how but doug manages to follow us one lunch and watches us smoking weed >we see doug, didn't need him blabbing about it >we must befriend the tard >call doug over, show him how to light up >doug gets stoned >doug loves it, totally chill too >tard is cool keeping it secret >one day, doug lights up with us >"wanna hear why I like smoking anon?" >"I become a baked potato" >good on ya dougie, f------ champion.
: Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)20:34:50 No.788782642 Story time >be me 16 at the time >high school >mates and | sneak away every lunch or free period and smoke weed 20 KB JPG >420.jpeg >do this all year >have retard kid in class, doug >dunno how but doug manages to follow us one lunch and watches us smoking weed >we see doug, didn't need him blabbing about it >we must befriend the tard >call doug over, show him how to light up >doug gets stoned >doug loves it, totally chill too >tard is cool keeping it secret >one day, doug lights up with us >"wanna hear why I like smoking anon?" >"I become a baked potato" >good on ya dougie, f------ champion.

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Anon is a normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)16:56:02 No.61907313 >gf #1 after 2 years: "I'm not in love with you anymore" >gf #2 after 2 months: "don't think this is working out" >gf #3 after 5 years: "I can't offer you what you need" >gf #4 after 2 months: "it's me, not you" (quite literally) 43 KB JPG If I don't belong here, where the f--- DO I belong? #4 was literally a few hours ago, and I'm just so broken up about it. She was cute as f--- too. Any other robots like me exist? How the f--- have you accepted being continuously insufficient to the ones you love? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/17/21 (Sun) 17:02:45 No.61907418 >>61907313 (OP) # >If I don't belong here, where the f--- DO I belong Reddit, with the rest of the normalfags
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)16:56:02 No.61907313 >gf #1 after 2 years: "I'm not in love with you anymore" >gf #2 after 2 months: "don't think this is working out" >gf #3 after 5 years: "I can't offer you what you need" >gf #4 after 2 months: "it's me, not you" (quite literally) 43 KB JPG If I don't belong here, where the f--- DO I belong? #4 was literally a few hours ago, and I'm just so broken up about it. She was cute as f--- too. Any other robots like me exist? How the f--- have you accepted being continuously insufficient to the ones you love? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/17/21 (Sun) 17:02:45 No.61907418 >>61907313 (OP) # >If I don't belong here, where the f--- DO I belong Reddit, with the rest of the normalfags

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Anon almost kills his classmate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)22:44:05 No.84508105 Here's another story from my s--- school. ... >be me, 15 >final week of secondary school >have history lesson before exam >history teacher is a suspected 157 KB JPG p-------- >we've been f------ with him non stop all year >This guy was close to breaking point, thanks to our shenanigans So far we had: >dressed up as death and banged on his window >filled his classroom with shredded newspaper >covered myself in fake blood and friend threw me into his classroom >friends kept asking him disgusting personal questions all year >final history lesson ever >teacher is already p----- off anyway >giving a lecture on the Holocaust >friend suddenly power throws water balloon directly at his head >Rekt.jpg >Teacher just stands there, facing away from us. Soaked Suspense.exe >suddenly turns around and full on charges at some random kid at the front of the class >tackles him over the desk knocking over a fat chick next to him >we're in hysterics, laughing and crying >suddenly realise >mfw >teacher has the kid pinned down on the floor >hands around his neck, kid is going purple >teacher is spitting in his face, calling him obscenities >he finally lets go after what seems like an eternity >kid motionless >we're motionless >teacher looks at us all, gives us the finger and walks out He didn't even notice the Dildo we'd left on his desk We never saw him again, and the kid suffered brain damage I miss school
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)22:44:05 No.84508105 Here's another story from my s--- school. ... >be me, 15 >final week of secondary school >have history lesson before exam >history teacher is a suspected 157 KB JPG p-------- >we've been f------ with him non stop all year >This guy was close to breaking point, thanks to our shenanigans So far we had: >dressed up as death and banged on his window >filled his classroom with shredded newspaper >covered myself in fake blood and friend threw me into his classroom >friends kept asking him disgusting personal questions all year >final history lesson ever >teacher is already p----- off anyway >giving a lecture on the Holocaust >friend suddenly power throws water balloon directly at his head >Rekt.jpg >Teacher just stands there, facing away from us. Soaked Suspense.exe >suddenly turns around and full on charges at some random kid at the front of the class >tackles him over the desk knocking over a fat chick next to him >we're in hysterics, laughing and crying >suddenly realise >mfw >teacher has the kid pinned down on the floor >hands around his neck, kid is going purple >teacher is spitting in his face, calling him obscenities >he finally lets go after what seems like an eternity >kid motionless >we're motionless >teacher looks at us all, gives us the finger and walks out He didn't even notice the Dildo we'd left on his desk We never saw him again, and the kid suffered brain damage I miss school

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Not Hungary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous [-1 09/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous [-1 09/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate 50 KB JPG

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The fats love Trump | /r/Greentext

>>303358903 >be lifelong republican >Trump supporter >hardcore Q believer >prepare for The Storm (previously The 248 KB PNG Happening) on 20th January >gear up and drive to DC the day before because on no- fly list >1200 miles but America is worth it >be packing my AR-15, Glock, tactical shotgun and hand crossbow (just in case) >hotel rejects my credit card because l'm on some list or something >who cares, l'll sleep in the car >car towed away because apparently I parked it on a no- parking zone >approach a police officer >turns out my Glock's magazines are illegal in DC >loudly claim my 2° amendment rights >be arrested anyway >spend the night in jail >nothing happens on the 20th >I lose my job because twitter >wife calls says she can't stay married to a terrorist >other republicans accuse me of being an antifa plant >mfw
>>303358903 >be lifelong republican >Trump supporter >hardcore Q believer >prepare for The Storm (previously The 248 KB PNG Happening) on 20th January >gear up and drive to DC the day before because on no- fly list >1200 miles but America is worth it >be packing my AR-15, Glock, tactical shotgun and hand crossbow (just in case) >hotel rejects my credit card because l'm on some list or something >who cares, l'll sleep in the car >car towed away because apparently I parked it on a no- parking zone >approach a police officer >turns out my Glock's magazines are illegal in DC >loudly claim my 2° amendment rights >be arrested anyway >spend the night in jail >nothing happens on the 20th >I lose my job because twitter >wife calls says she can't stay married to a terrorist >other republicans accuse me of being an antifa plant >mfw

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Anon helps his neighbour. | /r/Greentext

Orange F 01:21 M M A ... 1m (1/18 1:19) · 845086978 JPG · 64KB · (400 × 388) >be me >13 years old >neighbour is old, scary m------------ >asks my dad to help him out with his housework >dad tells me to go and help him >I go around, he starts talking to me about his experiences >tells me he is ex military and his wife died whilst he was deployed, >told me he can't remember the last time he said he loved her >he came back and lived alone in the house ever since >mfw >tells me to cherish everything and tell people that I love them more often >finish the housework and return home >enter my living room to tell my parents that I love them >w--.mp4 >mom is riding dad cowgirl, finger in her ass calling her a dirty slut >run to my room >they assumed I was a typical teenager when I stopped talking to them >moved out last year and haven't spoken to them since |II
Orange F 01:21 M M A ... 1m (1/18 1:19) · 845086978 JPG · 64KB · (400 × 388) >be me >13 years old >neighbour is old, scary m------------ >asks my dad to help him out with his housework >dad tells me to go and help him >I go around, he starts talking to me about his experiences >tells me he is ex military and his wife died whilst he was deployed, >told me he can't remember the last time he said he loved her >he came back and lived alone in the house ever since >mfw >tells me to cherish everything and tell people that I love them more often >finish the housework and return home >enter my living room to tell my parents that I love them >w--.mp4 >mom is riding dad cowgirl, finger in her ass calling her a dirty slut >run to my room >they assumed I was a typical teenager when I stopped talking to them >moved out last year and haven't spoken to them since |II

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Anon gets tech support from his bro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)14:29:08 No.845072561 >be me >retard >redditfag >mfw >want to go to 4chan to steal a greentext to get that sweet karma >think I'm typing "4chan.org" >unfortunately am retard and 29 KB JPG actually typing "greentext.org" >get mad when page shows up as error >think it is because of s----- internet >try again tomorrow >still doesn't work >ask brother for help >comes over and asks what's wrong >"I'm trying to get into 4chan" >brother looks at url >"Ah, I see the problem" >"What's the problem?" >"You're f------ retarded" >he then tells me I typed "greentext.org" and proceeds to fix the url >mfw What's the quickest way to kill my self bros?
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)14:29:08 No.845072561 >be me >retard >redditfag >mfw >want to go to 4chan to steal a greentext to get that sweet karma >think I'm typing "4chan.org" >unfortunately am retard and 29 KB JPG actually typing "greentext.org" >get mad when page shows up as error >think it is because of s----- internet >try again tomorrow >still doesn't work >ask brother for help >comes over and asks what's wrong >"I'm trying to get into 4chan" >brother looks at url >"Ah, I see the problem" >"What's the problem?" >"You're f------ retarded" >he then tells me I typed "greentext.org" and proceeds to fix the url >mfw What's the quickest way to kill my self bros?

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Anon gets kicked out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)16:11:17 No.845050615 >be me >mom tells mel can't live off her forever and that I need to get a job >tell her I can't imagine working and that i'd rather be homeless >she doesn't say anything >redpill her more about how my birth was her fault and that I didn't choose to be born so 70 KB PNG now she has to take responsibility for me >she starts to cry a little bit >tell her to stop crying because she's an adult >few days later I come home from the liquor store >her and a couple of family friends are over >one of them tells me I have to move out right now >tell them I have no place to go >they say I have to move anyway >basically getting kicked out of my own house >tell mom she owes me for all those years I was on social security and she was basically living off me and my brother's autismbucks >tell her she should feel ashamed because she spent some of that money on herself instead of giving it to me and that she was basically stealing from me and my brother the entire time >one of the guys comes out of my room with a suitcase full of clothes | >throws them outside and tells me to leave >mom is crying >this is b------- >he tries to force me out of the house >throws me off the porch >start screaming and crying >lay there for at least 5 minutes screaming and crying >scream and cry so hard I start coughing in between crying >tear down all her wind chimes and start wrecking her flower bed >one of the guys comes out and tries to wrestle me away form the house >spit in his face and throw plants/windchimes at him until he goes back inside >keep screaming and crying until she lets me back inside >immediately head to me room to watch my favorite twitch streamer to calm me down >use mom's debit card to donate to him so I can get the text to speech bot to say how my mom almost killed me
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)16:11:17 No.845050615 >be me >mom tells mel can't live off her forever and that I need to get a job >tell her I can't imagine working and that i'd rather be homeless >she doesn't say anything >redpill her more about how my birth was her fault and that I didn't choose to be born so 70 KB PNG now she has to take responsibility for me >she starts to cry a little bit >tell her to stop crying because she's an adult >few days later I come home from the liquor store >her and a couple of family friends are over >one of them tells me I have to move out right now >tell them I have no place to go >they say I have to move anyway >basically getting kicked out of my own house >tell mom she owes me for all those years I was on social security and she was basically living off me and my brother's autismbucks >tell her she should feel ashamed because she spent some of that money on herself instead of giving it to me and that she was basically stealing from me and my brother the entire time >one of the guys comes out of my room with a suitcase full of clothes | >throws them outside and tells me to leave >mom is crying >this is b------- >he tries to force me out of the house >throws me off the porch >start screaming and crying >lay there for at least 5 minutes screaming and crying >scream and cry so hard I start coughing in between crying >tear down all her wind chimes and start wrecking her flower bed >one of the guys comes out and tries to wrestle me away form the house >spit in his face and throw plants/windchimes at him until he goes back inside >keep screaming and crying until she lets me back inside >immediately head to me room to watch my favorite twitch streamer to calm me down >use mom's debit card to donate to him so I can get the text to speech bot to say how my mom almost killed me

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Anon gets harassed | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/10/17(Fri)03:03:41 No 43522875 >>43520443 (OP) >Walking down the street when a woman whistles at me >l instantly stop >Tum towars her and fast-walk at her >She is smiling >Smile turns to fear when she sees my angry expression >I slap her right across the face with all my might >Her friends gasp loudly and try to comfart her >They can't believe this could happen to them >Continue walking Why are women so f------ rude?
O Anonymous 11/10/17(Fri)03:03:41 No 43522875 >>43520443 (OP) >Walking down the street when a woman whistles at me >l instantly stop >Tum towars her and fast-walk at her >She is smiling >Smile turns to fear when she sees my angry expression >I slap her right across the face with all my might >Her friends gasp loudly and try to comfart her >They can't believe this could happen to them >Continue walking Why are women so f------ rude?

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Anon goes to England | /r/Greentext

File: 1336681229.gif-(940 KB, 320x286, dont.gif) Anonymous 05/10/12(Thu)16:20 No. 12528401 >go to england >head to restaurant to try and preserve gainz >my watch is set to my countries timezone >ask someone what the time is >TAAM? WANK MY ARSE IN UR FACE C--- >have no idea what he just said to me >notice he doesn't have a watch on >no one in england has a watch >big ben starts to chime >everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs >man crashes his car trying to count the bongs >waitress drops my order on the floor trying to count her fingers >man running down the street: Ol ITS 7 BONG >mfw
File: 1336681229.gif-(940 KB, 320x286, dont.gif) Anonymous 05/10/12(Thu)16:20 No. 12528401 >go to england >head to restaurant to try and preserve gainz >my watch is set to my countries timezone >ask someone what the time is >TAAM? WANK MY ARSE IN UR FACE C--- >have no idea what he just said to me >notice he doesn't have a watch on >no one in england has a watch >big ben starts to chime >everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs >man crashes his car trying to count the bongs >waitress drops my order on the floor trying to count her fingers >man running down the street: Ol ITS 7 BONG >mfw

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Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)16:00:55 No.845052760 That'll be $17 >Plus tip >Plus sales tax >Plus no mask fee >Plus union dues >Plus delivery fee >Plus gas tax 389 KB PNG >Plus being white fee >Plus slave reparations >Plus donation to BLM movement >Plus non-vegan food fee >Plus suspected Trump supporter fee >Plus donation to Biden reelection fund >Plus inconvenience fee Your total is $2851. Would that be cash* or credit card**? >* cash payments will incur a 67,5% cash handling fee. >** Credit card payments will incur a 65% transaction fee.
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)16:00:55 No.845052760 That'll be $17 >Plus tip >Plus sales tax >Plus no mask fee >Plus union dues >Plus delivery fee >Plus gas tax 389 KB PNG >Plus being white fee >Plus slave reparations >Plus donation to BLM movement >Plus non-vegan food fee >Plus suspected Trump supporter fee >Plus donation to Biden reelection fund >Plus inconvenience fee Your total is $2851. Would that be cash* or credit card**? >* cash payments will incur a 67,5% cash handling fee. >** Credit card payments will incur a 65% transaction fee.

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Lilliam Pumpernickel | /r/Greentext

>be me >be 17 >be so mentally retarded I get kicked out of all school and start a riot at a 32 KB JPG juvenile detention center > be with skii mask one day >he says anon if you're going 70 miles per hour how long does it take to go 70 miles? >l ascend >in a new realm of existence >speak with Jesus Christ himself >I come back from my trip with Jesus >l know the true answer to this question >my eyes start glowing >I rise from the floor >the dinosaur was walked > 70nigga >everyone in a 30 mile radius is disintegrated >l am lil pump
>be me >be 17 >be so mentally retarded I get kicked out of all school and start a riot at a 32 KB JPG juvenile detention center > be with skii mask one day >he says anon if you're going 70 miles per hour how long does it take to go 70 miles? >l ascend >in a new realm of existence >speak with Jesus Christ himself >I come back from my trip with Jesus >l know the true answer to this question >my eyes start glowing >I rise from the floor >the dinosaur was walked > 70nigga >everyone in a 30 mile radius is disintegrated >l am lil pump

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Anon finds the scapegoat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)01:13:27 No.61905523 >be me >In middle school/high school >Have a junkie older brother >Parents had the balls to kick him out of the house, but wouldn't do anything to stop him from coming over >Brother has bad habit of stealing our s---, booze, pills, food, and anything valuable not 146 KB PNG locked away would either disappear completely or vanish for a few days and then randomly reappear >A few times this lead to a confrontation but nothing more >one time l'm just home alone, see some pizza in the fridge, and eat it >Turns out pizza was for my brother >Mom got mad and I blamed it on my older brother, i was a good kid in school and didn't get in trouble so she believed me >Eventually realized I could use this to my advantage, and throughout high school I would just take a case of beer or bottle of vodka up to my room and drink it at night, take one of my dad's cigars, or just take food in general and blame it on my brother >They never expected me and some of these incidents lead to fights that further ostracized my brother from the family >My brother has sobered up and is a good member of society and I've never told anyone the truth >lf you're out here I'm sorry Mark
: Anonymous 01/18/21(Mon)01:13:27 No.61905523 >be me >In middle school/high school >Have a junkie older brother >Parents had the balls to kick him out of the house, but wouldn't do anything to stop him from coming over >Brother has bad habit of stealing our s---, booze, pills, food, and anything valuable not 146 KB PNG locked away would either disappear completely or vanish for a few days and then randomly reappear >A few times this lead to a confrontation but nothing more >one time l'm just home alone, see some pizza in the fridge, and eat it >Turns out pizza was for my brother >Mom got mad and I blamed it on my older brother, i was a good kid in school and didn't get in trouble so she believed me >Eventually realized I could use this to my advantage, and throughout high school I would just take a case of beer or bottle of vodka up to my room and drink it at night, take one of my dad's cigars, or just take food in general and blame it on my brother >They never expected me and some of these incidents lead to fights that further ostracized my brother from the family >My brother has sobered up and is a good member of society and I've never told anyone the truth >lf you're out here I'm sorry Mark

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