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Anon discovers evolution | /r/Greentext

CLICK, CLACK, MOO Cows That Type >Be me as a kid >Love the book "Click Clack Moo, Cows That Type" >Be me as a teen >Enjoy Animal Farm immensely >Be me as an adult 275 KB JPG >Crippling hypnotized-cow-girl- hentai fetish The most marvelous of evolutions
CLICK, CLACK, MOO Cows That Type >Be me as a kid >Love the book "Click Clack Moo, Cows That Type" >Be me as a teen >Enjoy Animal Farm immensely >Be me as an adult 275 KB JPG >Crippling hypnotized-cow-girl- hentai fetish The most marvelous of evolutions

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Anon finds a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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anon hires an escort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)18:46:28 No.844936687 RT, Vi +V, 10hars (m +m)RT , RT m, RT, (m, +m, )RT, P; (m, + m,)T, m, T Tisat -Gm, Gm 二. TBsat 2 sat 3 1sat 2sat R u,(x + rp2) * – 20 5ỷ – 0žx + dz 1601638899698.jpg| 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)18:46:28 No.844936687 RT, Vi +V, 10hars (m +m)RT , RT m, RT, (m, +m, )RT, P; (m, + m,)T, m, T Tisat -Gm, Gm 二. TBsat 2 sat 3 1sat 2sat R u,(x + rp2) * – 20 5ỷ – 0žx + dz 1601638899698.jpg| 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw

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Anon helps his neighbor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52353826 leri >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards 1,5 MB JPG Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 52353835 Jeri •.. why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? 21 REPLIES
Anonymous | 52353826 leri >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards 1,5 MB JPG Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 52353835 Jeri •.. why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? 21 REPLIES

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Anon's family | /r/Greentext

AnonymouS No.6230655674 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.
AnonymouS No.6230655674 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.

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anon turns the tables | /r/Greentext

How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser 63 KB JPG >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. %3D Who is the loser now?
How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser 63 KB JPG >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. %3D Who is the loser now?

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Anon is a gamer | /r/Greentext

File: 1608499208340.png (338 KB, 750x734) Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)09:39:56 No.540431254 >>540432119 >>540432136 >>540432240 >»540432302 >>540432346 >>540434872 >>540434987 >>540436842 >>540437287 >>540440384 >>540441318 >>540441467 >Difficulty: Tell Me a Story >Aim Assist: On >Weapon Sway: Off >Invisibility While Prone: On >Slow Motion While Aiming: On >Autosave Before Every Encounter: On >Enemy Perception: Low >Enemy Accuracy: Low >Boss Fight Skip Option: On >100% Walkthrough open >Discord open for emotional support Time to game.
File: 1608499208340.png (338 KB, 750x734) Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)09:39:56 No.540431254 >>540432119 >>540432136 >>540432240 >»540432302 >>540432346 >>540434872 >>540434987 >>540436842 >>540437287 >>540440384 >>540441318 >>540441467 >Difficulty: Tell Me a Story >Aim Assist: On >Weapon Sway: Off >Invisibility While Prone: On >Slow Motion While Aiming: On >Autosave Before Every Encounter: On >Enemy Perception: Low >Enemy Accuracy: Low >Boss Fight Skip Option: On >100% Walkthrough open >Discord open for emotional support Time to game.

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anon doesn't axe murder someone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/16(Tue)00:35:04 No.702755839 >three years ago >really drunk >post my number on 4chan asking someone to call me and tell me a story til i fall asleep >this bald m------------ right here calls me 234 KB JPG >tells me a story about a bear who switches places with a human for a day >many keks til i fall asleep >becomes a weekly ritual >time goes on and its less stories and more general conversation >three years later hes getting married >asks me to be the best man in his wedding >whythefucknot.jpg >fly up the coast to stay at his house for the weekend >friends and family all know 'of' me so its kinda weird >but everyones really f------ chill especially his friends probably one of the best weekends of my life, all thanks to /b/. and to think i was gonna axe murder him.
: Anonymous 09/06/16(Tue)00:35:04 No.702755839 >three years ago >really drunk >post my number on 4chan asking someone to call me and tell me a story til i fall asleep >this bald m------------ right here calls me 234 KB JPG >tells me a story about a bear who switches places with a human for a day >many keks til i fall asleep >becomes a weekly ritual >time goes on and its less stories and more general conversation >three years later hes getting married >asks me to be the best man in his wedding >whythefucknot.jpg >fly up the coast to stay at his house for the weekend >friends and family all know 'of' me so its kinda weird >but everyones really f------ chill especially his friends probably one of the best weekends of my life, all thanks to /b/. and to think i was gonna axe murder him.

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Anon makes hot chocolate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/15/18(Thu)15:36:06 No.49300363 > be me > snowing > walk home > make hot chocolate > its good thank you hot chocolate 302 KB PNG 20 Replies / 8 Images View Thread
Anonymous 11/15/18(Thu)15:36:06 No.49300363 > be me > snowing > walk home > make hot chocolate > its good thank you hot chocolate 302 KB PNG 20 Replies / 8 Images View Thread

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Bradley is confused | /r/Greentext

R: 4 Why does everyone on here keep calling me anon or OP? My name is Bradley.
R: 4 Why does everyone on here keep calling me anon or OP? My name is Bradley.

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Anon likes Among Us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)20:29:45 No.61873459 >be me >August 2020 >learn about Henry Stickmin remaster >fuckyesmate.webm >see Innersloths other game among us >game is mix of comedy and 20 KB JPG horror >fun.jpg >game explodes in popularity >normies infect the game like a disease >Everywhere I go I see s-----, unfunny memes RED SUS GREEN SUS >this s--- is worse than fnaf and undertale >mfw I got into Among Us too late >mfw the normies ruined another indie game
: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)20:29:45 No.61873459 >be me >August 2020 >learn about Henry Stickmin remaster >fuckyesmate.webm >see Innersloths other game among us >game is mix of comedy and 20 KB JPG horror >fun.jpg >game explodes in popularity >normies infect the game like a disease >Everywhere I go I see s-----, unfunny memes RED SUS GREEN SUS >this s--- is worse than fnaf and undertale >mfw I got into Among Us too late >mfw the normies ruined another indie game

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Anon abuses the system | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 773650902 >be me, man >identify as a female because gender is a social construct >j------- >once I'm done, identify as male again >got jerked off by a gril >mfw got a h------ See you later virgins 4 REPLIES
Anonymous 1 hour ago 773650902 >be me, man >identify as a female because gender is a social construct >j------- >once I'm done, identify as male again >got jerked off by a gril >mfw got a h------ See you later virgins 4 REPLIES

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Anon goes to summer camp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/20(Wed)12:17:23 No.17487810 >>17486339 (OP) # >be me >l've seen what getting j----- on by a group of people does to a man, it is not pretty. >l wasn't a part of it , more of an 1.64 MB GIF observer, but when I was 12 or 13 I went to a sleep away summer camp and this is like when we were starting to discover p--- and fapping. >Some kid brought some playboys and naked playing cards, s--- like that with him. >Anyway, one kid in our cabin was a huge tool, stole stuff like food and money from other people in our cabin. >So half a dozen kids decided one night to wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m and take turns fapping in the bathroom, running out before they finished and blowing their load on the kid when he was sleeping. >Literally 6-8 kids did this, all over his face, sheets, upper body, and hands, one kid also did it in his shoes. >So everyone else wakes up the next morning and we all knew what had happened but this kid couldn't figure out why he was all sticky for like 15 minutes until a counselor forced it out of another kid. >When the kid found out he went absolutely nuts, like certifiably crazy mental breakdown. He had to leave the camp for psychiatric treatment. >Worst part was after he took a shower and went to leave he stepped in the j--- shoes >>17487839 # >>17487872 # >>17488850 # >>17489135 #
: Anonymous 07/15/20(Wed)12:17:23 No.17487810 >>17486339 (OP) # >be me >l've seen what getting j----- on by a group of people does to a man, it is not pretty. >l wasn't a part of it , more of an 1.64 MB GIF observer, but when I was 12 or 13 I went to a sleep away summer camp and this is like when we were starting to discover p--- and fapping. >Some kid brought some playboys and naked playing cards, s--- like that with him. >Anyway, one kid in our cabin was a huge tool, stole stuff like food and money from other people in our cabin. >So half a dozen kids decided one night to wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m and take turns fapping in the bathroom, running out before they finished and blowing their load on the kid when he was sleeping. >Literally 6-8 kids did this, all over his face, sheets, upper body, and hands, one kid also did it in his shoes. >So everyone else wakes up the next morning and we all knew what had happened but this kid couldn't figure out why he was all sticky for like 15 minutes until a counselor forced it out of another kid. >When the kid found out he went absolutely nuts, like certifiably crazy mental breakdown. He had to leave the camp for psychiatric treatment. >Worst part was after he took a shower and went to leave he stepped in the j--- shoes >>17487839 # >>17487872 # >>17488850 # >>17489135 #

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Anon is watching | /r/Greentext

>Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
>Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon helps his brother out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)09:50:57 No.844902178 >trying to sleep >brother busts into room >'MY PUBES ARE ON FIRE HELP!!!' >look down >burningbush.exe >casually grab glass of water by bed labeled 'pubic fire' 110 KB JPG >throw water onto his junk >fire goes out >'phew! Thanks bro, i owe you one' >i nod tiredly >lay back downand try to go to sleep
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)09:50:57 No.844902178 >trying to sleep >brother busts into room >'MY PUBES ARE ON FIRE HELP!!!' >look down >burningbush.exe >casually grab glass of water by bed labeled 'pubic fire' 110 KB JPG >throw water onto his junk >fire goes out >'phew! Thanks bro, i owe you one' >i nod tiredly >lay back downand try to go to sleep

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Anon is polite | /r/Greentext

>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget
>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget

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Anon is | /r/Greentext

At least 17 dead in US school shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga
At least 17 dead in US school shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga

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Anon watches milf porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something
: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something

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Anon is a master schemer | /r/Greentext

>be me >14, about 10yrs ago >been beating my d--- like it owes me money for a couple years >friend gets me into smoking weed >combine my new hobby with my favorite pastime, wanking increases exponentially 94 KB JPG >callthatweedwhacking.gif >d--- is more worn down than a Congolese rubber farmer >dry, cracked and getting lumpy and s--- >idea.jpeg >order fleshlight to relieve the literal strangulation of my member >buttholeedition.raw >fleshlight doubles as weed stash spot >inabagstillyousickfucks.png >decide it's too risky having literally 99% of my identity just chillin in my closet under clothes >anotheridea@keeprollingoutthehits.net >find empty liquor bottle in trash >layer it above c-- sock nest and fleshlight but still under clothes >mom does laundry one day, finds liquor bottle >flips her s--- at the sight of it, stops going through closet and immediately confronts me >grounds me for two weeks, including stupid weekend camping trip >spend entire weekend more kentucky fried than the colonel himself, with my d--- in fleshlight more than it's out of it Sometimes you gotta lose a battle to win the war
>be me >14, about 10yrs ago >been beating my d--- like it owes me money for a couple years >friend gets me into smoking weed >combine my new hobby with my favorite pastime, wanking increases exponentially 94 KB JPG >callthatweedwhacking.gif >d--- is more worn down than a Congolese rubber farmer >dry, cracked and getting lumpy and s--- >idea.jpeg >order fleshlight to relieve the literal strangulation of my member >buttholeedition.raw >fleshlight doubles as weed stash spot >inabagstillyousickfucks.png >decide it's too risky having literally 99% of my identity just chillin in my closet under clothes >anotheridea@keeprollingoutthehits.net >find empty liquor bottle in trash >layer it above c-- sock nest and fleshlight but still under clothes >mom does laundry one day, finds liquor bottle >flips her s--- at the sight of it, stops going through closet and immediately confronts me >grounds me for two weeks, including stupid weekend camping trip >spend entire weekend more kentucky fried than the colonel himself, with my d--- in fleshlight more than it's out of it Sometimes you gotta lose a battle to win the war

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Anon has an accident | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)08:52:33 No.18598693 >wet the bed next to my bf >expect him to make some joke about me needing diapers >says if i do that again he'll kill me 380 KB PNG : Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)08:54:25 No.18598711 he should've killed you already >>18598756 #
E Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)08:52:33 No.18598693 >wet the bed next to my bf >expect him to make some joke about me needing diapers >says if i do that again he'll kill me 380 KB PNG : Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)08:54:25 No.18598711 he should've killed you already >>18598756 #

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