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Bamboozled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me
Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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Anons in china | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/18(Wed)13:06:33 No.776592144 >chinese surveillance system checking peolpe on the streets >scans guy >1.300.000.000 possible matches 13 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/08/18(Wed)13:06:33 No.776592144 >chinese surveillance system checking peolpe on the streets >scans guy >1.300.000.000 possible matches 13 KB JPG

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: U0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: U0dTroQ 10/11/19(Fri)06:42:29 No.229478329 >be american >get sick >go backrupt 576 KB PNG View Thread

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anon does it himself! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:11:23 No.845994812 >be 12 >me and friend wonder if there really is a afterlife >come up with plan >friend will blow brains out 35 KB JPG >respawn >meet back up for pizza >bulletproof.jpg >he does the deed >14 years later >still no sign of him I knew he was to retarded to handle such a mission. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself >cocks gun None of you f--- touch my s--- while i'm gone
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:11:23 No.845994812 >be 12 >me and friend wonder if there really is a afterlife >come up with plan >friend will blow brains out 35 KB JPG >respawn >meet back up for pizza >bulletproof.jpg >he does the deed >14 years later >still no sign of him I knew he was to retarded to handle such a mission. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself >cocks gun None of you f--- touch my s--- while i'm gone

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life be hard tho | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/19(Sun)15:33:23 No.804637632 >be me >have one shot at life >be me 68 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 07/14/19(Sun)15:33:23 No.804637632 >be me >have one shot at life >be me 68 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon becomes gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw

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Anon becomes food critic | /r/Greentext

>be me >on the bike >going downhill fast >talking with my friends >my mouth wide open >went through a swarm of flies >some fly entered my mouth >"well, if it's already in my mouth 300 KB JPG let's see what it tastes like" It was a terrible combination of extremely sour and extremely bitter taste. Would not recommend. Don't eat flies, anons.
>be me >on the bike >going downhill fast >talking with my friends >my mouth wide open >went through a swarm of flies >some fly entered my mouth >"well, if it's already in my mouth 300 KB JPG let's see what it tastes like" It was a terrible combination of extremely sour and extremely bitter taste. Would not recommend. Don't eat flies, anons.

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Anon is underpaid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:05:04 No.845951089 Domino's dominos-im-just-trying-to-get-by-but-im-still-3764411.png 92 KB PNG >deliver $72 of pepperoni pizza to a black family in the hood >no tip
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)17:05:04 No.845951089 Domino's dominos-im-just-trying-to-get-by-but-im-still-3764411.png 92 KB PNG >deliver $72 of pepperoni pizza to a black family in the hood >no tip

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Anon steals karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/19(Sat)00:01:17 No.795089854 >Be me >Redditfag >goes on r/greentext >sort by top posts of all time >find first post that's older than 150 days >take a screen shot of the image 12 KB JPG >post on r/greentext >get over 30k upvotes >mfw I have more karma than 90% of other redditors
: Anonymous 03/16/19(Sat)00:01:17 No.795089854 >Be me >Redditfag >goes on r/greentext >sort by top posts of all time >find first post that's older than 150 days >take a screen shot of the image 12 KB JPG >post on r/greentext >get over 30k upvotes >mfw I have more karma than 90% of other redditors

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Anon loves social medias | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)21:04:20 No.62068436 >starting to make new friends at work >they ask if I'm on instagram >don't want to be that weirdo who doesn't have any social media >also don't want them to see I'm a But. Im different from them. 35 KB JPG weirdo who has 0 followers on instagram It's like the game is rigged.
: Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)21:04:20 No.62068436 >starting to make new friends at work >they ask if I'm on instagram >don't want to be that weirdo who doesn't have any social media >also don't want them to see I'm a But. Im different from them. 35 KB JPG weirdo who has 0 followers on instagram It's like the game is rigged.

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Anon uses deepfake | /r/Greentext

>be me >only with my dad and younger brother >mom died in a pretty horrific car crash accident, when one of the local drunks crashed into her >most people in town know that mom died this way 50 KB JPG enough of the background story lets go >brother gets home from school pretty angry >father asks what wrong with him, says its nothing >know that something isnt right and keep digging >after a few attempts he opens up and says that one kid at school keeps bullieng him about our moms death and that she desverd it and some immature stuff like that >tells me that he doesnt wanna tell, because he will just get sad >ask him the name of kid and he relucantly gives it to me >l go into my room and search the kid online >find his instagram >idea.jpg >he has a lot of pictures online in different positions and with differnt expressions >deepfake his face onto a few pron scenes and send it to his friends and family >mfw when his family decides to send their kid to a boarding school
>be me >only with my dad and younger brother >mom died in a pretty horrific car crash accident, when one of the local drunks crashed into her >most people in town know that mom died this way 50 KB JPG enough of the background story lets go >brother gets home from school pretty angry >father asks what wrong with him, says its nothing >know that something isnt right and keep digging >after a few attempts he opens up and says that one kid at school keeps bullieng him about our moms death and that she desverd it and some immature stuff like that >tells me that he doesnt wanna tell, because he will just get sad >ask him the name of kid and he relucantly gives it to me >l go into my room and search the kid online >find his instagram >idea.jpg >he has a lot of pictures online in different positions and with differnt expressions >deepfake his face onto a few pron scenes and send it to his friends and family >mfw when his family decides to send their kid to a boarding school

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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man
Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man

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Anon lives in video game | /r/Greentext

>Mfw I realize life is literally like an RPG. >People treat you differently depending on your race/class. >Each race has advantages and disadvantages. >Get XP by learning things through 46 KB JPG books. >lf you commit a crime in a town or city you will spend time in jail/prison. >Tfw only one save.
>Mfw I realize life is literally like an RPG. >People treat you differently depending on your race/class. >Each race has advantages and disadvantages. >Get XP by learning things through 46 KB JPG books. >lf you commit a crime in a town or city you will spend time in jail/prison. >Tfw only one save.

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Students do a celebratory conga line | /r/Greentext

At least 17 dead in US school shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga
At least 17 dead in US school shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga

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Anon is prankster | /r/Greentext

>be me >dad likes to pull pranks >has attachment to prank jump scare videos >has scared me every halloween with these 44 KB JPG >occasionally does it post/pre- halloween season >get suspicious every time i see a quiet/unassuming video >get tired of his b------- >fire vs fire.exe >july >tell him the smart tv isn't working >l really just have a black color on screen >he looks at the tv closely, inspecting >press play button on remote >video plays of typical demon girl jumping at the viewer, w/ loud screams, the whole enchilada >laughing, expecting dad to jump >look at him >he's holding his chest, and drops >he seems to writhe for a few seconds >stops moving >he had a heart attack >mfw I f------ killed him
>be me >dad likes to pull pranks >has attachment to prank jump scare videos >has scared me every halloween with these 44 KB JPG >occasionally does it post/pre- halloween season >get suspicious every time i see a quiet/unassuming video >get tired of his b------- >fire vs fire.exe >july >tell him the smart tv isn't working >l really just have a black color on screen >he looks at the tv closely, inspecting >press play button on remote >video plays of typical demon girl jumping at the viewer, w/ loud screams, the whole enchilada >laughing, expecting dad to jump >look at him >he's holding his chest, and drops >he seems to writhe for a few seconds >stops moving >he had a heart attack >mfw I f------ killed him

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Anon is Arthur Morgan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/18(Thu)10:26:19 No.49428422 Times when your autism has aided you >be me 22 >get red dead redemption 2 5 KB JPG >play it >its great >go home from university for thanksgiving break >friends and I decide to go to local college bar >thots galore >start drinking heavily >notice that recently whenever I get drunk I start to impersonate Arthur Morgan >his mannerisms >his walk >his f------ accent >get called a cowboy by multiple people at the bar >girls eyeing me >qt approaches me >calls me sexy and says lets dance >gets hot and heavy >she sticks her hands down my pants in crowded bar >alrightythen.png >receive handy mandy >shes gives me her number and says she wants to see me again >mfw I got an otphj and a chicks number by impersonating a f------ video game character
: Anonymous 11/22/18(Thu)10:26:19 No.49428422 Times when your autism has aided you >be me 22 >get red dead redemption 2 5 KB JPG >play it >its great >go home from university for thanksgiving break >friends and I decide to go to local college bar >thots galore >start drinking heavily >notice that recently whenever I get drunk I start to impersonate Arthur Morgan >his mannerisms >his walk >his f------ accent >get called a cowboy by multiple people at the bar >girls eyeing me >qt approaches me >calls me sexy and says lets dance >gets hot and heavy >she sticks her hands down my pants in crowded bar >alrightythen.png >receive handy mandy >shes gives me her number and says she wants to see me again >mfw I got an otphj and a chicks number by impersonating a f------ video game character

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Anon goes to the skatepark | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)15:29:19 No.845076177 *CLAP* *CLAP* peepoclap.png 91 KB PNG >at skate park with friends >trying to do tricks >best we can do are s----- kickflips and alis >guy in a wheelchair is watching us >guy doesn't say anything just stares at us >about an hour passes and he rolls over to us >'hey kids, you wanna see a awesome trick? >we all say yeah >mfw he screams 'WWWWWEEE' and rolls himself into on coming traffic and gets hit my a semi
Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)15:29:19 No.845076177 *CLAP* *CLAP* peepoclap.png 91 KB PNG >at skate park with friends >trying to do tricks >best we can do are s----- kickflips and alis >guy in a wheelchair is watching us >guy doesn't say anything just stares at us >about an hour passes and he rolls over to us >'hey kids, you wanna see a awesome trick? >we all say yeah >mfw he screams 'WWWWWEEE' and rolls himself into on coming traffic and gets hit my a semi

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Anon too tired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/20(Thu)14:29:52 No.818106847 > home from school > relaxtime.wav > hit the bed > instantly become tired > also horny > can't j-------, too tired > can't sleep, too horny 37 KB PNG > forever stuck in limbo help
: Anonymous 01/09/20(Thu)14:29:52 No.818106847 > home from school > relaxtime.wav > hit the bed > instantly become tired > also horny > can't j-------, too tired > can't sleep, too horny 37 KB PNG > forever stuck in limbo help

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Anon gets asked to hang out | /r/Greentext

Feels Thread >Be me >21 skinny awkward > Don't have a lot of friends > Never dated anyone > Just go to work and college > Out of nowhere a cute 7/10 girl invites me to hangout >I get excited, start to brag to my family and co workers >Day comes, I get ready >little sister helps me, pick out clothes, she's excited to see me so happy. > Drive to address she sends me > Pull up, its a weird, business. > Go inside, People sitting around. > See her, we start talking. > Slowly realize that it's a multi level marketing presentation. > Realize she only wanted to make money off of me. >I leave >Go home little Sister asks why I'm home so early. > Go in room and cry 858.6 kB PNG > I haven't felt this crappy in a long time.
Feels Thread >Be me >21 skinny awkward > Don't have a lot of friends > Never dated anyone > Just go to work and college > Out of nowhere a cute 7/10 girl invites me to hangout >I get excited, start to brag to my family and co workers >Day comes, I get ready >little sister helps me, pick out clothes, she's excited to see me so happy. > Drive to address she sends me > Pull up, its a weird, business. > Go inside, People sitting around. > See her, we start talking. > Slowly realize that it's a multi level marketing presentation. > Realize she only wanted to make money off of me. >I leave >Go home little Sister asks why I'm home so early. > Go in room and cry 858.6 kB PNG > I haven't felt this crappy in a long time.

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Anon liquidates wall street | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: GQRUUFC5 01/28/21(Thu)03:25:50 No.26732908 sunn EE79D70B-DBEA-4461-B710-4513C198C512.jpg 215 KB JPG >liqudated a bunch of Jews on Holocaust Rememberance day Holy f--- reddit is actually based for once 52 Replies / 17 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: GQRUUFC5 01/28/21(Thu)03:25:50 No.26732908 sunn EE79D70B-DBEA-4461-B710-4513C198C512.jpg 215 KB JPG >liqudated a bunch of Jews on Holocaust Rememberance day Holy f--- reddit is actually based for once 52 Replies / 17 Images View Thread

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