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Anon is watching | /r/Greentext

>Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
>Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon helps his brother out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)09:50:57 No.844902178 >trying to sleep >brother busts into room >'MY PUBES ARE ON FIRE HELP!!!' >look down >burningbush.exe >casually grab glass of water by bed labeled 'pubic fire' 110 KB JPG >throw water onto his junk >fire goes out >'phew! Thanks bro, i owe you one' >i nod tiredly >lay back downand try to go to sleep
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)09:50:57 No.844902178 >trying to sleep >brother busts into room >'MY PUBES ARE ON FIRE HELP!!!' >look down >burningbush.exe >casually grab glass of water by bed labeled 'pubic fire' 110 KB JPG >throw water onto his junk >fire goes out >'phew! Thanks bro, i owe you one' >i nod tiredly >lay back downand try to go to sleep

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Anon is polite | /r/Greentext

>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget
>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget

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Anon is | /r/Greentext

At least 17 dead in US school shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga
At least 17 dead in US school shooting US & CANADA 1518715783500.jpg 583 KB JPG >be american >17 people die >American students do a celebratory conga

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Anon watches milf porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something
: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something

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Anon is a master schemer | /r/Greentext

>be me >14, about 10yrs ago >been beating my d--- like it owes me money for a couple years >friend gets me into smoking weed >combine my new hobby with my favorite pastime, wanking increases exponentially 94 KB JPG >callthatweedwhacking.gif >d--- is more worn down than a Congolese rubber farmer >dry, cracked and getting lumpy and s--- >idea.jpeg >order fleshlight to relieve the literal strangulation of my member >buttholeedition.raw >fleshlight doubles as weed stash spot >inabagstillyousickfucks.png >decide it's too risky having literally 99% of my identity just chillin in my closet under clothes >anotheridea@keeprollingoutthehits.net >find empty liquor bottle in trash >layer it above c-- sock nest and fleshlight but still under clothes >mom does laundry one day, finds liquor bottle >flips her s--- at the sight of it, stops going through closet and immediately confronts me >grounds me for two weeks, including stupid weekend camping trip >spend entire weekend more kentucky fried than the colonel himself, with my d--- in fleshlight more than it's out of it Sometimes you gotta lose a battle to win the war
>be me >14, about 10yrs ago >been beating my d--- like it owes me money for a couple years >friend gets me into smoking weed >combine my new hobby with my favorite pastime, wanking increases exponentially 94 KB JPG >callthatweedwhacking.gif >d--- is more worn down than a Congolese rubber farmer >dry, cracked and getting lumpy and s--- >idea.jpeg >order fleshlight to relieve the literal strangulation of my member >buttholeedition.raw >fleshlight doubles as weed stash spot >inabagstillyousickfucks.png >decide it's too risky having literally 99% of my identity just chillin in my closet under clothes >anotheridea@keeprollingoutthehits.net >find empty liquor bottle in trash >layer it above c-- sock nest and fleshlight but still under clothes >mom does laundry one day, finds liquor bottle >flips her s--- at the sight of it, stops going through closet and immediately confronts me >grounds me for two weeks, including stupid weekend camping trip >spend entire weekend more kentucky fried than the colonel himself, with my d--- in fleshlight more than it's out of it Sometimes you gotta lose a battle to win the war

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Anon has an accident | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)08:52:33 No.18598693 >wet the bed next to my bf >expect him to make some joke about me needing diapers >says if i do that again he'll kill me 380 KB PNG : Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)08:54:25 No.18598711 he should've killed you already >>18598756 #
E Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)08:52:33 No.18598693 >wet the bed next to my bf >expect him to make some joke about me needing diapers >says if i do that again he'll kill me 380 KB PNG : Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)08:54:25 No.18598711 he should've killed you already >>18598756 #

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Anon discovered Skittles secrets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/20(Fri)19:21:22 No.58286746 PRIDE EDITION FAMILYSI FRuits Skittles During Pride only one mainbos matters #onarainbous TOTALLYTHEBOMB.COM Skittles Is Removing The Color From Their Candies In Support Of Pride Month and I Want Some 1590184161939.jpg 668 KB JPG >skittles make "pride skittles" by removing the colored ones >whites only >it literally says SS on the candy you can't make this s--- up
: Anonymous 05/22/20(Fri)19:21:22 No.58286746 PRIDE EDITION FAMILYSI FRuits Skittles During Pride only one mainbos matters #onarainbous TOTALLYTHEBOMB.COM Skittles Is Removing The Color From Their Candies In Support Of Pride Month and I Want Some 1590184161939.jpg 668 KB JPG >skittles make "pride skittles" by removing the colored ones >whites only >it literally says SS on the candy you can't make this s--- up

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Anon is autist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 766239472 10 min. ago •.. >be me >on airport >f------ around on mom's wheelchair >she's waiting in the car >trying to ride up a small hill >suddenly a black guy runs towards me and pushes me all the way up >I say thanks >he goes back to his luggage a few steps away >am scared to stand up now >mfw 139.9 kB PNG 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 766239750 4 min. ago you f------ autist
Anonymous | 766239472 10 min. ago •.. >be me >on airport >f------ around on mom's wheelchair >she's waiting in the car >trying to ride up a small hill >suddenly a black guy runs towards me and pushes me all the way up >I say thanks >he goes back to his luggage a few steps away >am scared to stand up now >mfw 139.9 kB PNG 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 766239750 4 min. ago you f------ autist

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May you find your tower | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)15:22:55 No.59337751 File: a07.jpg (314 KB, 1357x960) >>59339920 >be me >recently got hungarian gf >loves my body, especially my back >calls me big guy unironically >4U >Ask what it is in hungarian > She says "Hústorony", which literally translates to "meat tower" >mfw I am now the meattower WAGMI
Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)15:22:55 No.59337751 File: a07.jpg (314 KB, 1357x960) >>59339920 >be me >recently got hungarian gf >loves my body, especially my back >calls me big guy unironically >4U >Ask what it is in hungarian > She says "Hústorony", which literally translates to "meat tower" >mfw I am now the meattower WAGMI

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Anon is strapped | /r/Greentext

Hey /k/, I'm afraid of being targeted by the junkies and bangers that I have to ride the bus with; I want to start a micro-hive so I can defensive carry bees or wasps (pic related). Hear me out: 35 KB JPG >The longer I'm a bee keeper the more ril get stung, and the greater resistance 'l develop to the sting's effects. I can probably find a pheromone spray to keep the bees on my side, too. >I'm a scrawny femme with no defensive training and a lot of neck injuries, so I can easily be overpowered, disamed, or incapacitated. If any of that happens with conventional carry-choices I'm screwed. As lang as I release the bees they'll continue to do God's work even if I'm unconscious or constrained. >Some peopie are thug lyfe enough to not be intimidated by being shot or stabbed. Nobody is thug lyfe enough to not be intimated by bees. Bees are mortally terrifying. >ff I pull a knife or gun then the crowd will instantly tun on me and yell at me to stop, because I can still be reasoned with. >If I pull a jar of bees the crowd will turn on my aggressor because I can release the bees at any moment, and a swarm of angry bees cannot be reasoned with. >If I pull a knife or gun then I have to deal with the legalities of doing so, and witness reports from the crowd could condemn me. >If I pull a jar of bees the cops will disregard the call because it's too outlandish. What're your thoughts, /k/?
Hey /k/, I'm afraid of being targeted by the junkies and bangers that I have to ride the bus with; I want to start a micro-hive so I can defensive carry bees or wasps (pic related). Hear me out: 35 KB JPG >The longer I'm a bee keeper the more ril get stung, and the greater resistance 'l develop to the sting's effects. I can probably find a pheromone spray to keep the bees on my side, too. >I'm a scrawny femme with no defensive training and a lot of neck injuries, so I can easily be overpowered, disamed, or incapacitated. If any of that happens with conventional carry-choices I'm screwed. As lang as I release the bees they'll continue to do God's work even if I'm unconscious or constrained. >Some peopie are thug lyfe enough to not be intimidated by being shot or stabbed. Nobody is thug lyfe enough to not be intimated by bees. Bees are mortally terrifying. >ff I pull a knife or gun then the crowd will instantly tun on me and yell at me to stop, because I can still be reasoned with. >If I pull a jar of bees the crowd will turn on my aggressor because I can release the bees at any moment, and a swarm of angry bees cannot be reasoned with. >If I pull a knife or gun then I have to deal with the legalities of doing so, and witness reports from the crowd could condemn me. >If I pull a jar of bees the cops will disregard the call because it's too outlandish. What're your thoughts, /k/?

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Anon snitches on The creator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god
: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god

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Anon Talks to God | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)21:50:59 No.61867797 >Be me ed, wi ate >Jan 5th, 2021 ent >Into psychedelics, mostly just LSD >Finally get my hands on some DMT >First hit made me feel like a body orgasm and euphoria but no real visuals >Readytoseegod.png ht and Sto 22 KB JPG >Do multiple hits to try to breakthrough to another dimension >l get sucked into a portal >No body orgasm >No euphoria >Just the spinning disembodied head of Mike Pence repeating "It's coming" over and over Was this him psychically warning me that Josh Hawley and all those other f------ were going to make a run on the capitol? View Thread
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)21:50:59 No.61867797 >Be me ed, wi ate >Jan 5th, 2021 ent >Into psychedelics, mostly just LSD >Finally get my hands on some DMT >First hit made me feel like a body orgasm and euphoria but no real visuals >Readytoseegod.png ht and Sto 22 KB JPG >Do multiple hits to try to breakthrough to another dimension >l get sucked into a portal >No body orgasm >No euphoria >Just the spinning disembodied head of Mike Pence repeating "It's coming" over and over Was this him psychically warning me that Josh Hawley and all those other f------ were going to make a run on the capitol? View Thread

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Anon calls out reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)11:17:12 No.844890355 >Be me >Want to make a post on 4chan >Make a nice wholesome story about my dad >Spend long time on it to make sure that it's good >Post my art 61 KB JPG >Some reddit normie sees this >He smells the karma and posts it in r/greentexts >He gets hundreds of upvotes from my hardwork >Mfw Why are redditers like this, Anons? They're probably going to see this thread and post it for karma. I see you, reddit.
: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)11:17:12 No.844890355 >Be me >Want to make a post on 4chan >Make a nice wholesome story about my dad >Spend long time on it to make sure that it's good >Post my art 61 KB JPG >Some reddit normie sees this >He smells the karma and posts it in r/greentexts >He gets hundreds of upvotes from my hardwork >Mfw Why are redditers like this, Anons? They're probably going to see this thread and post it for karma. I see you, reddit.

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Anon encouraging autism | /r/Greentext

File: 1392845401898.jpg (133 KB, 1024x768) Anonymous 01/27/16(Wed)00:11:50 No.665569372 >665570824 >665571122 >be me >be in high school >forced to sit next to autistic kid named Ben >fat neckbeard wears nothing but sweatpants and smells like cat piss. >everyday Ben asks me what did I have for dinner last night. >always tell him tacos >wow anon you sure like tacos >sure do f-----. >anyways one day I catch Ben checking out this 8/10 slut in class named Beth. >datass jpeg >"Hey Ben I bet you want her taco huh" >starts tarding out >REEEEEEEE >"Beth and Ben, sounds like a match in heaven" >"She's so beautiful anon I love her" >everyday start telling him to go for it. >"I can't anon i'm scared" >"you'll never know how she feels unless you ask her out" >days pass >one day during class Beth is dressed extra slutty. >"IM GÓNNA ÄSK HER" >the day has come >Ben stands up sweating like a Beth in a church. >walks over to her desk tripping over backpacks left and right >"B-b-b-beth?" >The look of disgust on her face is glorious >"yeah?" >"do you want to come over to my house and eat mac and cheese with me and my mom?" >Thereisagod. png >"We can play skylanders and cuddle" >my sides are in space >Beth looks over at me >"Jesus NO Ben, I'm dating Anon" >entire class is laughing >Ben walks slowily back to his seat >"Hey Ben wanna know about the taco I ate for dinner?" >Looks at me with tears in his eyes >MFW
File: 1392845401898.jpg (133 KB, 1024x768) Anonymous 01/27/16(Wed)00:11:50 No.665569372 >665570824 >665571122 >be me >be in high school >forced to sit next to autistic kid named Ben >fat neckbeard wears nothing but sweatpants and smells like cat piss. >everyday Ben asks me what did I have for dinner last night. >always tell him tacos >wow anon you sure like tacos >sure do f-----. >anyways one day I catch Ben checking out this 8/10 slut in class named Beth. >datass jpeg >"Hey Ben I bet you want her taco huh" >starts tarding out >REEEEEEEE >"Beth and Ben, sounds like a match in heaven" >"She's so beautiful anon I love her" >everyday start telling him to go for it. >"I can't anon i'm scared" >"you'll never know how she feels unless you ask her out" >days pass >one day during class Beth is dressed extra slutty. >"IM GÓNNA ÄSK HER" >the day has come >Ben stands up sweating like a Beth in a church. >walks over to her desk tripping over backpacks left and right >"B-b-b-beth?" >The look of disgust on her face is glorious >"yeah?" >"do you want to come over to my house and eat mac and cheese with me and my mom?" >Thereisagod. png >"We can play skylanders and cuddle" >my sides are in space >Beth looks over at me >"Jesus NO Ben, I'm dating Anon" >entire class is laughing >Ben walks slowily back to his seat >"Hey Ben wanna know about the taco I ate for dinner?" >Looks at me with tears in his eyes >MFW

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We live, they sleep | /r/Greentext

File: 5.jpg (217 KB, 820x888) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)15:16:34 No.61863405 [Reply] >>61863690 >>61864162 >yesterday mom sends me a text while I'm at work >some hour long low resolution video of an old geezer screaming about random insane s---(Imao I ain't watching that) >today she asked me if I watched the video she sent me >say no >told me that I'm a spoiled snowflake for not caring that pedophiles are going to be in charge of america and told me I'm brainwashed by mainstream media >told her I don't even watch tv >she just calls me a sheep My mother is pretty annoying
File: 5.jpg (217 KB, 820x888) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)15:16:34 No.61863405 [Reply] >>61863690 >>61864162 >yesterday mom sends me a text while I'm at work >some hour long low resolution video of an old geezer screaming about random insane s---(Imao I ain't watching that) >today she asked me if I watched the video she sent me >say no >told me that I'm a spoiled snowflake for not caring that pedophiles are going to be in charge of america and told me I'm brainwashed by mainstream media >told her I don't even watch tv >she just calls me a sheep My mother is pretty annoying

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Anon like vsauce.... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >l have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >l have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon got proposed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my 72 KB PNG house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >I pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone
: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my 72 KB PNG house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >I pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone

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anon has an argument | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ago •.. >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ago •.. >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon explains why he hates Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)14:14:18 No.844836247 200T >The human likes to feel like it belongs >Dopamine is released making us feel good when people like us >Upvotes on as post are a clear indication of how many people agree with tumble facetn 272 KB JPG you, giving you a small dopamine rush >Controversial, difficult, or unpopular talking points are ignored, downvoted, or removed >Uninspired, easy, popular, items are upvoted to the top where even more people can see them and upvote them >The only visible content is safe, mild, hivemind garbage Reddit started going downhill around 2016 but I had to leave last year. Absolute asscheeks >>844837638 #
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)14:14:18 No.844836247 200T >The human likes to feel like it belongs >Dopamine is released making us feel good when people like us >Upvotes on as post are a clear indication of how many people agree with tumble facetn 272 KB JPG you, giving you a small dopamine rush >Controversial, difficult, or unpopular talking points are ignored, downvoted, or removed >Uninspired, easy, popular, items are upvoted to the top where even more people can see them and upvote them >The only visible content is safe, mild, hivemind garbage Reddit started going downhill around 2016 but I had to leave last year. Absolute asscheeks >>844837638 #

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