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Anon got more than he bargained for | /r/Greentext

>Finally got a gf >She never leaves me alone >No time for personal hobbies anymore >No time to smoke weed anymore >Talks to me everyday on the phone about some boring woman bs 6 KB PNG >Think about breaking up at times but I can't go back to the lonely void >Sex is cool too I guess | Have I been alone for too long? Being in a relationship is f------ exhausting.
>Finally got a gf >She never leaves me alone >No time for personal hobbies anymore >No time to smoke weed anymore >Talks to me everyday on the phone about some boring woman bs 6 KB PNG >Think about breaking up at times but I can't go back to the lonely void >Sex is cool too I guess | Have I been alone for too long? Being in a relationship is f------ exhausting.

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Anon likes orange | /r/Greentext


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Anon has secs with bottle | /r/Greentext


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Anon life was changed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WjLRHwvF /pol/ Anons saved my life. 01/26/21(Tue)01:12:56 No.305042042 Whats your story where Anons helped you out or left a positiv impact on your life? Heres a story about how 3 anons saved me from being homeless, morale & motivation self 68 КВ PNG destruction. >me, mid-20, no senpai, alone >jobless for months >lose 8kg, almost just skins and bones >money gets short, lose apartment &move in to s----- hostel >eating bread everyday & bread with eggs on weekends >no hope for job, since months my morale & psyche starts going to s---, no hope & 5eur left knowing il be homeless in a few days since I cant afford the hostel anymore & eith it will lose all hope for starting a new job with no internet etc Some american Anon makes a thread asking how poor euroanons can live without good food >me casually responding to the thread telling him that I dont know how I do it & you have no other options netherless >thinks nothing, keep browsing other /pol/ threads & masturbating >checks the thread 30min later >3 anons, 1american, 1indian & 1australian asks me for my bitcoin wallet(OP anon felt bad for me since he was the one starting the thread) >first I was thinking they want to f--- with me or whatever, but just in case I immedetaly start downloading a bitcoin app & create a wallet & post it >checks my bitcoin wallet & start freaking out as OP anon send me(on my saving method) a month worth of food in bitcoin >tears coming out >second anon from india sends me the same amount as OP &I start freaking out in the hostel walking with unknown energy & uplifted psyche >me starts wondering who the f--- these anons are, thanking them & explaining that if I was a girl I would give them p----
: Anonymous (ID: WjLRHwvF /pol/ Anons saved my life. 01/26/21(Tue)01:12:56 No.305042042 Whats your story where Anons helped you out or left a positiv impact on your life? Heres a story about how 3 anons saved me from being homeless, morale & motivation self 68 КВ PNG destruction. >me, mid-20, no senpai, alone >jobless for months >lose 8kg, almost just skins and bones >money gets short, lose apartment &move in to s----- hostel >eating bread everyday & bread with eggs on weekends >no hope for job, since months my morale & psyche starts going to s---, no hope & 5eur left knowing il be homeless in a few days since I cant afford the hostel anymore & eith it will lose all hope for starting a new job with no internet etc Some american Anon makes a thread asking how poor euroanons can live without good food >me casually responding to the thread telling him that I dont know how I do it & you have no other options netherless >thinks nothing, keep browsing other /pol/ threads & masturbating >checks the thread 30min later >3 anons, 1american, 1indian & 1australian asks me for my bitcoin wallet(OP anon felt bad for me since he was the one starting the thread) >first I was thinking they want to f--- with me or whatever, but just in case I immedetaly start downloading a bitcoin app & create a wallet & post it >checks my bitcoin wallet & start freaking out as OP anon send me(on my saving method) a month worth of food in bitcoin >tears coming out >second anon from india sends me the same amount as OP &I start freaking out in the hostel walking with unknown energy & uplifted psyche >me starts wondering who the f--- these anons are, thanking them & explaining that if I was a girl I would give them p----

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a snitch | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)13:57:06 No.62027701 File: thumb_motorcycle-pepe-2729905.png (22 KB, 200x256) >>62027882 >be at work delivering pizza >has the worst motorbike >play it cool so i gain the favour of a workmate >he thinks im cool >he starts smoking joints while working >he got caught >i was with him >i snitched like a bitch >now i have the fastest motorbike
O Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)13:57:06 No.62027701 File: thumb_motorcycle-pepe-2729905.png (22 KB, 200x256) >>62027882 >be at work delivering pizza >has the worst motorbike >play it cool so i gain the favour of a workmate >he thinks im cool >he starts smoking joints while working >he got caught >i was with him >i snitched like a bitch >now i have the fastest motorbike

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She found the Hammer | /r/Greentext

File: download (3).jpg (6 KB, 219x230) O Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)14:01:01 No.845738394 [Reply] >>845740214 >>845740340 >>845740600 Gf found the self defence hammer under my pillow, f--- she thinks i'm a serial killer. +7 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
File: download (3).jpg (6 KB, 219x230) O Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)14:01:01 No.845738394 [Reply] >>845740214 >>845740340 >>845740600 Gf found the self defence hammer under my pillow, f--- she thinks i'm a serial killer. +7 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.

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Anon tells a scary story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)09:37:40 No.17374776 >>17374783 >>17374882 >>17374995 >>17375015 >>17375056 >>17376675 scariest story ever go Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)09:38:46 No.17374783 >>17374793 >>17374799 >>17374806 >>17374983 >>17374993 >>17375364 >>17376688 >>17376690 >>17374776 (OP). one time i visited 4chan and now it's like 13 years later and i'm still here
Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)09:37:40 No.17374776 >>17374783 >>17374882 >>17374995 >>17375015 >>17375056 >>17376675 scariest story ever go Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)09:38:46 No.17374783 >>17374793 >>17374799 >>17374806 >>17374983 >>17374993 >>17375364 >>17376688 >>17376690 >>17374776 (OP). one time i visited 4chan and now it's like 13 years later and i'm still here

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anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext


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anon is a piece of shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)11:39:01 No.845541005 1. join bottom of the barrel nothing stream with 0 viewers twitch 2. use reverse view bot to slowly make him think an audience is forming 16 KB JPG 3. watch the streamer go from doomer mode to HEY GUYS HOWS IT HANGING THANKS FOR TUNING INTO THE STREAM DONT FORGET TO FOLLOW 4. toss a $10 donation 5. now he's really hamming it up 6. start slowly reducing view bots 7. he gets more and more animated trying to keep the "audience" entertained 8. eventually it's just me 9. he looks like he's going to kill himself 10. chargeback the $10 and leave the stream
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)11:39:01 No.845541005 1. join bottom of the barrel nothing stream with 0 viewers twitch 2. use reverse view bot to slowly make him think an audience is forming 16 KB JPG 3. watch the streamer go from doomer mode to HEY GUYS HOWS IT HANGING THANKS FOR TUNING INTO THE STREAM DONT FORGET TO FOLLOW 4. toss a $10 donation 5. now he's really hamming it up 6. start slowly reducing view bots 7. he gets more and more animated trying to keep the "audience" entertained 8. eventually it's just me 9. he looks like he's going to kill himself 10. chargeback the $10 and leave the stream

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Anon gets high | /r/Greentext

>>35574459 # reminds me >get wisdom teeth removed >go home high as s--- >get on the computer >go to youtube >really want to listen to Led Zeppelin (I don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up >get mad >go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up >go to delete my browsing history like I usually do >"loop zoop" searched on youtube ~25
>>35574459 # reminds me >get wisdom teeth removed >go home high as s--- >get on the computer >go to youtube >really want to listen to Led Zeppelin (I don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up >get mad >go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up >go to delete my browsing history like I usually do >"loop zoop" searched on youtube ~25

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Anon plays some Skyrim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous jesus f--- 01/23/21(Sat)17:36:44 No.62000148 >be me >quarantining >continue my fallout addiction >bank over 1000 hours >get burnt out >i get back into skyrim >only have about 50 hours 121 KB JPG >h-------- theres a lot i missed >cant stop playing >my new addiction >i play constantly >ffw to today >redecorating my room irl >finish >im so exhausted >damn that was a lot of work i better quicksave >what >mfw
: Anonymous jesus f--- 01/23/21(Sat)17:36:44 No.62000148 >be me >quarantining >continue my fallout addiction >bank over 1000 hours >get burnt out >i get back into skyrim >only have about 50 hours 121 KB JPG >h-------- theres a lot i missed >cant stop playing >my new addiction >i play constantly >ffw to today >redecorating my room irl >finish >im so exhausted >damn that was a lot of work i better quicksave >what >mfw

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Anon has an ass blaster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)02:27:48 No.804439604 Why are all your greentexts about depressing s--- or bad life events? Let's spruce this up... >be me, 11 >be infamous among my friends and family for my horrendous farts 93 KB JPG >parents start grounding me for farting around them, even if non-maliciously >at Walmart, feel urge to fart >sprint 10 feet behind us, don't look, bend over and let a behemoth loose >20 second ass blaster >run back to family >brother dying of laughter, ask what's up >"You just f------ farted in that old woman's face, Anon!" >turn around and look at frail old woman trying to back out of the line with her electric scooter, people behind her won't move so she's stuck in the stench >mfw
: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)02:27:48 No.804439604 Why are all your greentexts about depressing s--- or bad life events? Let's spruce this up... >be me, 11 >be infamous among my friends and family for my horrendous farts 93 KB JPG >parents start grounding me for farting around them, even if non-maliciously >at Walmart, feel urge to fart >sprint 10 feet behind us, don't look, bend over and let a behemoth loose >20 second ass blaster >run back to family >brother dying of laughter, ask what's up >"You just f------ farted in that old woman's face, Anon!" >turn around and look at frail old woman trying to back out of the line with her electric scooter, people behind her won't move so she's stuck in the stench >mfw

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Classic love story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/11(Sun)01:39:39 No.32604186490 File1304228379.jpg-(12 KB, 281x236, 1294729042581.jpg) >Long-term gf just broke up with me >At coffee shop trying to think of how to get my s--- together >notice cute girl is has been looking at me for some time окау >smile at her and wave a little >go back to staring at my coffee >look up to see her sitting next to me >asks me what's wrong >little reluctant, think it's a trick >It isn't >feelsgoodman.jpg >she was dumped recently too >accidently stare at her cleavage as she's talking >start to get hard >feel a hand run up my leg >see her breathing a bit hard >asks if I like what I see >guide her hand to my zipper >she unzips my fanny pack by mistake >spaghetti falls out >try to clean it up with my sock >start to cry >get embarrassed and fart watery diarrhea all over my man skirt >smear s--- all over the window and ask her to marry me >mfw she said no
Anonymous 05/01/11(Sun)01:39:39 No.32604186490 File1304228379.jpg-(12 KB, 281x236, 1294729042581.jpg) >Long-term gf just broke up with me >At coffee shop trying to think of how to get my s--- together >notice cute girl is has been looking at me for some time окау >smile at her and wave a little >go back to staring at my coffee >look up to see her sitting next to me >asks me what's wrong >little reluctant, think it's a trick >It isn't >feelsgoodman.jpg >she was dumped recently too >accidently stare at her cleavage as she's talking >start to get hard >feel a hand run up my leg >see her breathing a bit hard >asks if I like what I see >guide her hand to my zipper >she unzips my fanny pack by mistake >spaghetti falls out >try to clean it up with my sock >start to cry >get embarrassed and fart watery diarrhea all over my man skirt >smear s--- all over the window and ask her to marry me >mfw she said no

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Anon eata baby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:01:40 No.845655261 >start seeing this girl from tinder >we actually get along really well and things are vibin >on our second date she told me that she had an abortion >l say when >she said two weeks ago because she just broke up with her ex over 86 KB JPG it >be supportive but still grossed out >anyway >the night is going great >she comes over and we smoke some weed >put on a movie and just start chillen >start hooking up >sexy time coming >l go down on her >she's rollin in the hills of joy >l feel like a champ >really high tho >start to get paranoid >"what if I can taste the baby?" >so stoned I start to freak out in my head while I am eating her out >l feel sick, stomach starts to turn >l puke directly into her p---- because I think I'm tasting baby >she screams in horror >she runs out of my apartment with vomit in her vag >we stop texting I think I blew it guys
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:01:40 No.845655261 >start seeing this girl from tinder >we actually get along really well and things are vibin >on our second date she told me that she had an abortion >l say when >she said two weeks ago because she just broke up with her ex over 86 KB JPG it >be supportive but still grossed out >anyway >the night is going great >she comes over and we smoke some weed >put on a movie and just start chillen >start hooking up >sexy time coming >l go down on her >she's rollin in the hills of joy >l feel like a champ >really high tho >start to get paranoid >"what if I can taste the baby?" >so stoned I start to freak out in my head while I am eating her out >l feel sick, stomach starts to turn >l puke directly into her p---- because I think I'm tasting baby >she screams in horror >she runs out of my apartment with vomit in her vag >we stop texting I think I blew it guys

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anons coworker snaps | /r/Greentext

Weird coworker finally snapped >go into break room to get coffee >notice coworker at lamination machine on other side of room >he starts laughing maniacally While shoving a ham sandwich into lamination machine 40 KB JPG >stand in corner drinking coffee watching the madness unfold >disgonnabegud.png >pieces of ham and bread come out laminated >take sip of coffee >he starts spanking the lamination machine while screaming 'yeah yeah!!! YEAH!! >take another sip of coffee >he starts slamming the machine against the wall while screaming 'laminate my soul!!! >pour more coffee into cup >boss finally walks in >sees the madness >'w--?? Why did you do this!?' >coworker does weird irish jig than grabs crotch and says >'because f--- you mutha fuckaaaa!!! >he does a half ass moon walk out door and out of building >boss p----- i didn't stop him I couldn't interrupt a true autist at work
Weird coworker finally snapped >go into break room to get coffee >notice coworker at lamination machine on other side of room >he starts laughing maniacally While shoving a ham sandwich into lamination machine 40 KB JPG >stand in corner drinking coffee watching the madness unfold >disgonnabegud.png >pieces of ham and bread come out laminated >take sip of coffee >he starts spanking the lamination machine while screaming 'yeah yeah!!! YEAH!! >take another sip of coffee >he starts slamming the machine against the wall while screaming 'laminate my soul!!! >pour more coffee into cup >boss finally walks in >sees the madness >'w--?? Why did you do this!?' >coworker does weird irish jig than grabs crotch and says >'because f--- you mutha fuckaaaa!!! >he does a half ass moon walk out door and out of building >boss p----- i didn't stop him I couldn't interrupt a true autist at work

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Anon is indian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)05:40:35 No.783858609 Tests on Delhi eateries show high level of faecal matter in street food >be indian The tute hy inattute ef Managemert, Canerng rt hut Psts shows ehmign tuna otEo teteria stiena eitatisthee aecks >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges 3.37k SHARES DD 185 KB JPG >almost choke on a child's spinal column >ride on the roof of a victorian train to the call center >"hello this is Robert from Microsoft Computer Center, and we have detected a viru.." click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home through streets filled with garbage and s--- >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan in the street who happened to be on the way >wipe anus with hand >get home, eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth >superpower by 2020
: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)05:40:35 No.783858609 Tests on Delhi eateries show high level of faecal matter in street food >be indian The tute hy inattute ef Managemert, Canerng rt hut Psts shows ehmign tuna otEo teteria stiena eitatisthee aecks >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges 3.37k SHARES DD 185 KB JPG >almost choke on a child's spinal column >ride on the roof of a victorian train to the call center >"hello this is Robert from Microsoft Computer Center, and we have detected a viru.." click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home through streets filled with garbage and s--- >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan in the street who happened to be on the way >wipe anus with hand >get home, eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth >superpower by 2020

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Anon likes moles | /r/Greentext

>be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like I'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention
>be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like I'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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Anon tells God to fuck off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)07:44:50 No.845722322 >>845717242 >be me >raised by strict christian grandparents whole life >turn 18 >living with gf >suffer drug induced psychosis >experience the book of revelations >trumpets blaring >God letting us all die >spend the next two years as an agoraphobic with PTSD from psychosis >get over that s--- >realize I'm a p------------ and God is willing to torture people to convert them making him a p------------ >tell god "f--- you"
: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)07:44:50 No.845722322 >>845717242 >be me >raised by strict christian grandparents whole life >turn 18 >living with gf >suffer drug induced psychosis >experience the book of revelations >trumpets blaring >God letting us all die >spend the next two years as an agoraphobic with PTSD from psychosis >get over that s--- >realize I'm a p------------ and God is willing to torture people to convert them making him a p------------ >tell god "f--- you"

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Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous He's here 01/25/21(Mon)10:56:05 No.62024417 >be me >24 >parents just renovated the basement >newmasturbationdungeon.png >they open the walls, put on new floor and everythings 42 КВ ЈPG >been using the place a lot mostly for gaming >mfw been hearing voice the past 3 days >one night i even heard them making plans on how they could tie me up >excusemewhatthefuck.jpeg >this morning alone in my room making model plans while my parents are off to work >from the corner of my eye see a rocking hard 12 inch penis attached from what seems to be a small deformed man standing in the door frame >take a second look >it dissapeared >00000HSHIT.mp3 >ran to the door and locked it >been sobbing in the corner of my room while listening to the sound of wet meat banging on my door Please anons tell me this isn't real R--- dwarf does not existe
: Anonymous He's here 01/25/21(Mon)10:56:05 No.62024417 >be me >24 >parents just renovated the basement >newmasturbationdungeon.png >they open the walls, put on new floor and everythings 42 КВ ЈPG >been using the place a lot mostly for gaming >mfw been hearing voice the past 3 days >one night i even heard them making plans on how they could tie me up >excusemewhatthefuck.jpeg >this morning alone in my room making model plans while my parents are off to work >from the corner of my eye see a rocking hard 12 inch penis attached from what seems to be a small deformed man standing in the door frame >take a second look >it dissapeared >00000HSHIT.mp3 >ran to the door and locked it >been sobbing in the corner of my room while listening to the sound of wet meat banging on my door Please anons tell me this isn't real R--- dwarf does not existe

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