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Anon snitches on The creator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god
: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god

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Anon Talks to God | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)21:50:59 No.61867797 >Be me ed, wi ate >Jan 5th, 2021 ent >Into psychedelics, mostly just LSD >Finally get my hands on some DMT >First hit made me feel like a body orgasm and euphoria but no real visuals >Readytoseegod.png ht and Sto 22 KB JPG >Do multiple hits to try to breakthrough to another dimension >l get sucked into a portal >No body orgasm >No euphoria >Just the spinning disembodied head of Mike Pence repeating "It's coming" over and over Was this him psychically warning me that Josh Hawley and all those other f------ were going to make a run on the capitol? View Thread
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)21:50:59 No.61867797 >Be me ed, wi ate >Jan 5th, 2021 ent >Into psychedelics, mostly just LSD >Finally get my hands on some DMT >First hit made me feel like a body orgasm and euphoria but no real visuals >Readytoseegod.png ht and Sto 22 KB JPG >Do multiple hits to try to breakthrough to another dimension >l get sucked into a portal >No body orgasm >No euphoria >Just the spinning disembodied head of Mike Pence repeating "It's coming" over and over Was this him psychically warning me that Josh Hawley and all those other f------ were going to make a run on the capitol? View Thread

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Anon calls out reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)11:17:12 No.844890355 >Be me >Want to make a post on 4chan >Make a nice wholesome story about my dad >Spend long time on it to make sure that it's good >Post my art 61 KB JPG >Some reddit normie sees this >He smells the karma and posts it in r/greentexts >He gets hundreds of upvotes from my hardwork >Mfw Why are redditers like this, Anons? They're probably going to see this thread and post it for karma. I see you, reddit.
: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)11:17:12 No.844890355 >Be me >Want to make a post on 4chan >Make a nice wholesome story about my dad >Spend long time on it to make sure that it's good >Post my art 61 KB JPG >Some reddit normie sees this >He smells the karma and posts it in r/greentexts >He gets hundreds of upvotes from my hardwork >Mfw Why are redditers like this, Anons? They're probably going to see this thread and post it for karma. I see you, reddit.

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Anon encouraging autism | /r/Greentext

File: 1392845401898.jpg (133 KB, 1024x768) Anonymous 01/27/16(Wed)00:11:50 No.665569372 >665570824 >665571122 >be me >be in high school >forced to sit next to autistic kid named Ben >fat neckbeard wears nothing but sweatpants and smells like cat piss. >everyday Ben asks me what did I have for dinner last night. >always tell him tacos >wow anon you sure like tacos >sure do f-----. >anyways one day I catch Ben checking out this 8/10 slut in class named Beth. >datass jpeg >"Hey Ben I bet you want her taco huh" >starts tarding out >REEEEEEEE >"Beth and Ben, sounds like a match in heaven" >"She's so beautiful anon I love her" >everyday start telling him to go for it. >"I can't anon i'm scared" >"you'll never know how she feels unless you ask her out" >days pass >one day during class Beth is dressed extra slutty. >"IM GÓNNA ÄSK HER" >the day has come >Ben stands up sweating like a Beth in a church. >walks over to her desk tripping over backpacks left and right >"B-b-b-beth?" >The look of disgust on her face is glorious >"yeah?" >"do you want to come over to my house and eat mac and cheese with me and my mom?" >Thereisagod. png >"We can play skylanders and cuddle" >my sides are in space >Beth looks over at me >"Jesus NO Ben, I'm dating Anon" >entire class is laughing >Ben walks slowily back to his seat >"Hey Ben wanna know about the taco I ate for dinner?" >Looks at me with tears in his eyes >MFW
File: 1392845401898.jpg (133 KB, 1024x768) Anonymous 01/27/16(Wed)00:11:50 No.665569372 >665570824 >665571122 >be me >be in high school >forced to sit next to autistic kid named Ben >fat neckbeard wears nothing but sweatpants and smells like cat piss. >everyday Ben asks me what did I have for dinner last night. >always tell him tacos >wow anon you sure like tacos >sure do f-----. >anyways one day I catch Ben checking out this 8/10 slut in class named Beth. >datass jpeg >"Hey Ben I bet you want her taco huh" >starts tarding out >REEEEEEEE >"Beth and Ben, sounds like a match in heaven" >"She's so beautiful anon I love her" >everyday start telling him to go for it. >"I can't anon i'm scared" >"you'll never know how she feels unless you ask her out" >days pass >one day during class Beth is dressed extra slutty. >"IM GÓNNA ÄSK HER" >the day has come >Ben stands up sweating like a Beth in a church. >walks over to her desk tripping over backpacks left and right >"B-b-b-beth?" >The look of disgust on her face is glorious >"yeah?" >"do you want to come over to my house and eat mac and cheese with me and my mom?" >Thereisagod. png >"We can play skylanders and cuddle" >my sides are in space >Beth looks over at me >"Jesus NO Ben, I'm dating Anon" >entire class is laughing >Ben walks slowily back to his seat >"Hey Ben wanna know about the taco I ate for dinner?" >Looks at me with tears in his eyes >MFW

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We live, they sleep | /r/Greentext

File: 5.jpg (217 KB, 820x888) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)15:16:34 No.61863405 [Reply] >>61863690 >>61864162 >yesterday mom sends me a text while I'm at work >some hour long low resolution video of an old geezer screaming about random insane s---(Imao I ain't watching that) >today she asked me if I watched the video she sent me >say no >told me that I'm a spoiled snowflake for not caring that pedophiles are going to be in charge of america and told me I'm brainwashed by mainstream media >told her I don't even watch tv >she just calls me a sheep My mother is pretty annoying
File: 5.jpg (217 KB, 820x888) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)15:16:34 No.61863405 [Reply] >>61863690 >>61864162 >yesterday mom sends me a text while I'm at work >some hour long low resolution video of an old geezer screaming about random insane s---(Imao I ain't watching that) >today she asked me if I watched the video she sent me >say no >told me that I'm a spoiled snowflake for not caring that pedophiles are going to be in charge of america and told me I'm brainwashed by mainstream media >told her I don't even watch tv >she just calls me a sheep My mother is pretty annoying

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Anon like vsauce.... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >l have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >l have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon got proposed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my 72 KB PNG house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >I pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone
: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my 72 KB PNG house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >I pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone

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anon has an argument | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ago •.. >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ago •.. >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon explains why he hates Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)14:14:18 No.844836247 200T >The human likes to feel like it belongs >Dopamine is released making us feel good when people like us >Upvotes on as post are a clear indication of how many people agree with tumble facetn 272 KB JPG you, giving you a small dopamine rush >Controversial, difficult, or unpopular talking points are ignored, downvoted, or removed >Uninspired, easy, popular, items are upvoted to the top where even more people can see them and upvote them >The only visible content is safe, mild, hivemind garbage Reddit started going downhill around 2016 but I had to leave last year. Absolute asscheeks >>844837638 #
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)14:14:18 No.844836247 200T >The human likes to feel like it belongs >Dopamine is released making us feel good when people like us >Upvotes on as post are a clear indication of how many people agree with tumble facetn 272 KB JPG you, giving you a small dopamine rush >Controversial, difficult, or unpopular talking points are ignored, downvoted, or removed >Uninspired, easy, popular, items are upvoted to the top where even more people can see them and upvote them >The only visible content is safe, mild, hivemind garbage Reddit started going downhill around 2016 but I had to leave last year. Absolute asscheeks >>844837638 #

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Anon gets a wife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/20(Tue)18:49:24 No.837338101 >Be me >Wagie at fast food restaurant >Be assigned to train new girl >7/10 Nip girl >English is clearly not her first language >When she speaks there is a clear and noticeable accent >Two weeks of on the job training occurs >Teach her just about all the only useful s--- in about two days >Spend the rest of the training period basically shooting the s--- and getting to know each other and sometimes s--- talking particularly annoying or douchey customers >We both work 11-8 shifts, mine are Sunday- Thursday, hers are Monday-Friday >Decide to hang out with each other one Friday after she's off >We spend the night basically driving around, getting food, boring s--- like that >We're at the building she lived in, when she kisses me >End up banging in back seat of my car And that is the origin story of meeting the woman who'd become my wife.
: Anonymous 10/06/20(Tue)18:49:24 No.837338101 >Be me >Wagie at fast food restaurant >Be assigned to train new girl >7/10 Nip girl >English is clearly not her first language >When she speaks there is a clear and noticeable accent >Two weeks of on the job training occurs >Teach her just about all the only useful s--- in about two days >Spend the rest of the training period basically shooting the s--- and getting to know each other and sometimes s--- talking particularly annoying or douchey customers >We both work 11-8 shifts, mine are Sunday- Thursday, hers are Monday-Friday >Decide to hang out with each other one Friday after she's off >We spend the night basically driving around, getting food, boring s--- like that >We're at the building she lived in, when she kisses me >End up banging in back seat of my car And that is the origin story of meeting the woman who'd become my wife.

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anon spikes some coffee | /r/Greentext

File: 1397423706682.jpg-(24 KB, 240x320, image.jpg) Anonymous (ID: bRtEjz9E) 04/13/14(Sun)17:15:06 UTC-4 No.542087314 >Be me >Last day of 8th grade >Really faggy athlete who acts like he's superior to everybody >Me and friends decide to put laxatives on his coffee >More people hear about it >Coffee ends up with 12 laxatives in it >3-4 hours later in gym class >Running laps when suddenly f-- grabs ass >Tries to make it to bathroom but trips >S--- starts running down his shorts >Autistic girl standing behind him >S--- gets all over her legs Autistic girl screams and pukes >Horrid smell fills gym >Makes more kids puke ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING >Puke and s--- all over floor >Gym teacher hurries towards exit but slips in s--- >He pukes all over >Me and friends laughing asses off >Nerdy f-- tells on everyone that put laxatives in his coffee >17 kids expelled from school
File: 1397423706682.jpg-(24 KB, 240x320, image.jpg) Anonymous (ID: bRtEjz9E) 04/13/14(Sun)17:15:06 UTC-4 No.542087314 >Be me >Last day of 8th grade >Really faggy athlete who acts like he's superior to everybody >Me and friends decide to put laxatives on his coffee >More people hear about it >Coffee ends up with 12 laxatives in it >3-4 hours later in gym class >Running laps when suddenly f-- grabs ass >Tries to make it to bathroom but trips >S--- starts running down his shorts >Autistic girl standing behind him >S--- gets all over her legs Autistic girl screams and pukes >Horrid smell fills gym >Makes more kids puke ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING >Puke and s--- all over floor >Gym teacher hurries towards exit but slips in s--- >He pukes all over >Me and friends laughing asses off >Nerdy f-- tells on everyone that put laxatives in his coffee >17 kids expelled from school

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Anon has an experience with skittles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)22:42:50 No.844845888 I may have f----- up here. >About an hour ago >Sitting at my PC >Get bored and decide to put as many skittles as I can under my foreskin 11 KB PNG >Run out of skittles >Continue playing game and forget about them >10 minutes later a take them out, the head of my penis is sticky as f--- >40 minutes later go for a piss >Sit back in chair >Urethra begins to burn like Satan himself >Go to toilet, piss again >Feels like acid >ffw to now and it still burns what now
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)22:42:50 No.844845888 I may have f----- up here. >About an hour ago >Sitting at my PC >Get bored and decide to put as many skittles as I can under my foreskin 11 KB PNG >Run out of skittles >Continue playing game and forget about them >10 minutes later a take them out, the head of my penis is sticky as f--- >40 minutes later go for a piss >Sit back in chair >Urethra begins to burn like Satan himself >Go to toilet, piss again >Feels like acid >ffw to now and it still burns what now

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Anon has game | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/24/12(Thu)08:10:11 No.2545562 >be at party >9/10 checking me out >dance with her >stare in eyes >shes got moon earrings >F--- JUST REMEMBERED >run out of party >drive home >spend whole night checking out lunar eclipse >no regrets
O Anonymous 05/24/12(Thu)08:10:11 No.2545562 >be at party >9/10 checking me out >dance with her >stare in eyes >shes got moon earrings >F--- JUST REMEMBERED >run out of party >drive home >spend whole night checking out lunar eclipse >no regrets

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Ano stands up to a chad | /r/Greentext

>be me >xboxfag >more of a casual gamer, just play every now and then >pretty good tho >enjoy my time, distracts me from life 16 KB JPG >enter xxx_pu55yslayer_xxx >f------ chad >always joins my games without me inviting him >f---- up whatever I'm doing >makes fun of me >knows I'm a virgin >lol just get laid anon >f------ chad >one day I'm playing cod just doing my thing >he joins >"lol 1v1 me bro" >f------ fine >epicgamertime.jpg >l rain hell upon him with the force of a thousand virgins >he doesn't get a single kill >feelsgood.gif >he's f------ p----- >"F------ AiMb0t" >starts cursing at me >makes fun of me >says l'll never get laid >oh that's it >the camel's back has shattered >plan devised >tell him I'm going to f--- his mom >"..dude what?" >l leave the game and start planning >l use my epic gamer skills to find out where this f----- lives >l show up to his house while he's at school >knock on the door >his mom answers the door with open arms >sweet lady, almost makes me feel bad for what I'm about to do >almost >we go into her living room and make conversation >laughing at all my jokes >l go in for the kiss >she hesitates at first but I'm persistent >manonamission >she gives in to my charm and kisses back >getting steamy >l penetrate her as soon as I hear the front door open >'mom I'm home!" >he walks in just to see me balls feel in the woman who spawned him >look of absolute horror and disgust on his face >he runs out of the house >mom's crying >l leave, my work done >mfw my brother finally stopped joining my games
>be me >xboxfag >more of a casual gamer, just play every now and then >pretty good tho >enjoy my time, distracts me from life 16 KB JPG >enter xxx_pu55yslayer_xxx >f------ chad >always joins my games without me inviting him >f---- up whatever I'm doing >makes fun of me >knows I'm a virgin >lol just get laid anon >f------ chad >one day I'm playing cod just doing my thing >he joins >"lol 1v1 me bro" >f------ fine >epicgamertime.jpg >l rain hell upon him with the force of a thousand virgins >he doesn't get a single kill >feelsgood.gif >he's f------ p----- >"F------ AiMb0t" >starts cursing at me >makes fun of me >says l'll never get laid >oh that's it >the camel's back has shattered >plan devised >tell him I'm going to f--- his mom >"..dude what?" >l leave the game and start planning >l use my epic gamer skills to find out where this f----- lives >l show up to his house while he's at school >knock on the door >his mom answers the door with open arms >sweet lady, almost makes me feel bad for what I'm about to do >almost >we go into her living room and make conversation >laughing at all my jokes >l go in for the kiss >she hesitates at first but I'm persistent >manonamission >she gives in to my charm and kisses back >getting steamy >l penetrate her as soon as I hear the front door open >'mom I'm home!" >he walks in just to see me balls feel in the woman who spawned him >look of absolute horror and disgust on his face >he runs out of the house >mom's crying >l leave, my work done >mfw my brother finally stopped joining my games

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Anon is boomer | /r/Greentext

>be boomer >cooking steak on the grill >using spare college degrees to fuel fire >smells like when we used to CRISTAL napalm the g---- >flip steak >top side of steak is branded with 100 KB JPG Ronald Reagan's face >I can feel the patriotism coursing through my veins >pick up bottle of steak sauce >bottle is empty These damn millennials are f------ us in the ass.
>be boomer >cooking steak on the grill >using spare college degrees to fuel fire >smells like when we used to CRISTAL napalm the g---- >flip steak >top side of steak is branded with 100 KB JPG Ronald Reagan's face >I can feel the patriotism coursing through my veins >pick up bottle of steak sauce >bottle is empty These damn millennials are f------ us in the ass.

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Anon watches 13 reasons why | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769156213 2 hr ago >Depressed teen >Tell parents >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the Why noald deal gied lie! ANETFLIX OINAL SERIES second season B REASONS WHY >F----- lul >l try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per 6.7 kB JPG >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 769156270 2 hr ago >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol
Anonymous | 769156213 2 hr ago >Depressed teen >Tell parents >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the Why noald deal gied lie! ANETFLIX OINAL SERIES second season B REASONS WHY >F----- lul >l try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per 6.7 kB JPG >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 769156270 2 hr ago >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol

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Anon is constipated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)20:17:41 No.844861756 >be me >extremely constipated >tried everything >in huge amount of pain and desperate for relief >have 'great idea' >go to petco and get a gerbil 5 KB JPG >brief him on his mission >operation declog is a go >send the little fella into the cavernous deeps >godspeednibbles.bmp >a couple hours go by and i dont feel him >getting worried >mfw currently at petco to get a rescue gerbil Hold on nibbles help is on the way
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)20:17:41 No.844861756 >be me >extremely constipated >tried everything >in huge amount of pain and desperate for relief >have 'great idea' >go to petco and get a gerbil 5 KB JPG >brief him on his mission >operation declog is a go >send the little fella into the cavernous deeps >godspeednibbles.bmp >a couple hours go by and i dont feel him >getting worried >mfw currently at petco to get a rescue gerbil Hold on nibbles help is on the way

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anons friends have gaymecube | /r/Greentext

File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) 2>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >l got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted
File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) 2>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >l got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted

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anon uses windows 10 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)17:37:55 No.844850013 >study to be a system administrator >get all my certificates >get job >job helps me learn in detail about windows 10 and computer 15 KB JPG hardware >learn powershell >finally ready to put my master plan in action >buy fleshlight and attach it to computers CD drive >create powershell script to open and close CD drive >make powershell script that makes Cortana say things like 'oh yeah anon, stick your pinky in one of my back USB ports' and '2 inches is above average anon' All my hard work has paid off. Im in love
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)17:37:55 No.844850013 >study to be a system administrator >get all my certificates >get job >job helps me learn in detail about windows 10 and computer 15 KB JPG hardware >learn powershell >finally ready to put my master plan in action >buy fleshlight and attach it to computers CD drive >create powershell script to open and close CD drive >make powershell script that makes Cortana say things like 'oh yeah anon, stick your pinky in one of my back USB ports' and '2 inches is above average anon' All my hard work has paid off. Im in love

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

jb] - Randöm Settings Home Anonymous (ID: (IfxGELXM) 10/18/14(Sat)16:19:04 No.574571714 Most autistic thing you've ever done? I'll start No >Be me >Unemployed >Have the first job 73 KB PNG interview I've had in months >Get dressed to look professional Skipping ahead >Waiting in a room with all the other potential employees >Sitting next to a qt3.14 >We're talking a bit and she seems into me, I crack a few jokes and she even laughs >Everyone is called in for the recruitment presentation >Manager begins presentation by welcoming us all, he then says that if anyone is in the wrong place now is the time to walk out >Trying to get everyone to laugh I stand up and say "Well in that case l'll just be going" and head to the door >No one laughs, qt looking at me like I just insulted her dying grandfather >Walk out of the room so I don't look like a complete idiot
jb] - Randöm Settings Home Anonymous (ID: (IfxGELXM) 10/18/14(Sat)16:19:04 No.574571714 Most autistic thing you've ever done? I'll start No >Be me >Unemployed >Have the first job 73 KB PNG interview I've had in months >Get dressed to look professional Skipping ahead >Waiting in a room with all the other potential employees >Sitting next to a qt3.14 >We're talking a bit and she seems into me, I crack a few jokes and she even laughs >Everyone is called in for the recruitment presentation >Manager begins presentation by welcoming us all, he then says that if anyone is in the wrong place now is the time to walk out >Trying to get everyone to laugh I stand up and say "Well in that case l'll just be going" and head to the door >No one laughs, qt looking at me like I just insulted her dying grandfather >Walk out of the room so I don't look like a complete idiot

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