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Gordon on gear. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)08:20:40 No.102656591 45188D7700000578-0-image-a-18_1507291424887[1].jpg 53 KB JPG >Now, Cocaine >get the packet >knife, sharp >cut yes? >look at that color >rustic, simple >now, pound note >roll, tight >now this is my favorite >SNIFFF >f--- me >>102656784 # >>102658699 # >>102658907 # >>102662412 # >>102663687 #
: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)08:20:40 No.102656591 45188D7700000578-0-image-a-18_1507291424887[1].jpg 53 KB JPG >Now, Cocaine >get the packet >knife, sharp >cut yes? >look at that color >rustic, simple >now, pound note >roll, tight >now this is my favorite >SNIFFF >f--- me >>102656784 # >>102658699 # >>102658907 # >>102662412 # >>102663687 #

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Anon goes to prison | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] | > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "Ill suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.
File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] | > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "Ill suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.

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Anon trust the justice system | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/29/18(Sat)00:46:53 No.788487994 >get accused of r--- by landwhale feminist >spend the next few months worrying about getting falsely convicted >Cops give me details 13 KB JPG finally >gets expelled from her college >gets charged with slander >mfw the justice system works 1 Reply View Thread Anonymous 12/29/18(Sat)00:48:01 No.788488089 F--- yeah
Anonymous 12/29/18(Sat)00:46:53 No.788487994 >get accused of r--- by landwhale feminist >spend the next few months worrying about getting falsely convicted >Cops give me details 13 KB JPG finally >gets expelled from her college >gets charged with slander >mfw the justice system works 1 Reply View Thread Anonymous 12/29/18(Sat)00:48:01 No.788488089 F--- yeah

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Anon is a psychopath | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody 33 KB PNG possum >think Its dead, go to put it in garbage >notice Its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead
Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody 33 KB PNG possum >think Its dead, go to put it in garbage >notice Its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead

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Anon uses Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/19(Thu)15:00:09 No.52228531 >Decide to check out reddit to see if its as bad as everyone says >Go to the r/AmltheAsshole subreddit > First Post I see is of a some bitch getting pregnant at 17 wanting a abortion, boyfriend pleading her to 23 KB JPG keep the child says he'll raise it <Child is born she starts saying 'I HAVE PTSD FROM iT' >Father raises child >ffw 12 years her daughter wants to meet her >Literally wants no contact >Straight up rejects her own child >Everyone cheering her on >Any people who disagree get downvoted into oblivion What the f---? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 05/02/19(Thu)15:00:09 No.52228531 >Decide to check out reddit to see if its as bad as everyone says >Go to the r/AmltheAsshole subreddit > First Post I see is of a some bitch getting pregnant at 17 wanting a abortion, boyfriend pleading her to 23 KB JPG keep the child says he'll raise it <Child is born she starts saying 'I HAVE PTSD FROM iT' >Father raises child >ffw 12 years her daughter wants to meet her >Literally wants no contact >Straight up rejects her own child >Everyone cheering her on >Any people who disagree get downvoted into oblivion What the f---? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon buys crude oil | /r/Greentext

File: A4E57907-9815-46E6-BC13-8(..).jpg (261 KB, 840x562) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)07:50:31 No.844796744 [Reply] >be me >truly_unhinged.jpg >decide to purchase oil futures contract >accidentaly buy a barrel of crude oil shipped directly to my house >not know what to do with it for 2 weeks >super hot one day >get overheated as s---, decide to drink >get so drunk I grab my funnel and pump 2 gallons of crude oil into my ass >in the moment I wanted to save it for the right moment >thought it would be cool to s--- a f--- ton of oil all at once >get side tracked and watch finding Nemo >get to the part with the little squid girl in nemos school >arousedasfuck.png >realize my true purpose in life >uber to my local swimming pool >there are 3 pools but of course I decide to go to the one with the most children in it >still be drunk as f--- >sit down in the most populated area >start f------ swimming around like a big squid >moms are looking at me in confusion and disgust >one of them starts walking to the front desk, clearly going to call police >'it's time" >scream "IM GONNA INK" in the same voice I would have if I was mid orgasm >s--- 2 gallons of crude oil into the kiddie pool >children surface from the water visibly blinded and covered in my a--- oil >children screaming and crying all around >oil has spread farther than I ever imagined it would >make my escape >known as local squid man forever
File: A4E57907-9815-46E6-BC13-8(..).jpg (261 KB, 840x562) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)07:50:31 No.844796744 [Reply] >be me >truly_unhinged.jpg >decide to purchase oil futures contract >accidentaly buy a barrel of crude oil shipped directly to my house >not know what to do with it for 2 weeks >super hot one day >get overheated as s---, decide to drink >get so drunk I grab my funnel and pump 2 gallons of crude oil into my ass >in the moment I wanted to save it for the right moment >thought it would be cool to s--- a f--- ton of oil all at once >get side tracked and watch finding Nemo >get to the part with the little squid girl in nemos school >arousedasfuck.png >realize my true purpose in life >uber to my local swimming pool >there are 3 pools but of course I decide to go to the one with the most children in it >still be drunk as f--- >sit down in the most populated area >start f------ swimming around like a big squid >moms are looking at me in confusion and disgust >one of them starts walking to the front desk, clearly going to call police >'it's time" >scream "IM GONNA INK" in the same voice I would have if I was mid orgasm >s--- 2 gallons of crude oil into the kiddie pool >children surface from the water visibly blinded and covered in my a--- oil >children screaming and crying all around >oil has spread farther than I ever imagined it would >make my escape >known as local squid man forever

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Anon is a couch fucker | /r/Greentext

File: 1515265048322 jpg (63 KB, 610x800) Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)20 59:44 No.42487151 42487352 be me > be 17 > have uncontrollable boners > have uncontrollable urge to fap > jerk it twice a day, everyday > masturbate on the living room sofa > it's comfy asf and no one goes there > too lazy to get tissue > c-- between the pillows > "Il sometimes use the pillows like a fleshlight > do this everyday for 2 years > eventually dad smells something > encounter.mp3 > he blames my effeminate beta male younger brother > false alarm > he's been caught pillow humping before > dad brings him to the living roam > brother tries to explain, dad thinks he's lying, gets mad > dad punches him in the gut > dad beats him so bad, he pisses himself. > dad leaves my little brother crying in his own piss > his face whern Now, what keeps me up at night isn't what happened to my brother. What bugs me is the boner I got from seeing it.
File: 1515265048322 jpg (63 KB, 610x800) Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)20 59:44 No.42487151 42487352 be me > be 17 > have uncontrollable boners > have uncontrollable urge to fap > jerk it twice a day, everyday > masturbate on the living room sofa > it's comfy asf and no one goes there > too lazy to get tissue > c-- between the pillows > "Il sometimes use the pillows like a fleshlight > do this everyday for 2 years > eventually dad smells something > encounter.mp3 > he blames my effeminate beta male younger brother > false alarm > he's been caught pillow humping before > dad brings him to the living roam > brother tries to explain, dad thinks he's lying, gets mad > dad punches him in the gut > dad beats him so bad, he pisses himself. > dad leaves my little brother crying in his own piss > his face whern Now, what keeps me up at night isn't what happened to my brother. What bugs me is the boner I got from seeing it.

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Anon likes to larp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)08:49:51 No.9363694 >be me >redditfag >unironically a zoomer >pretend to use 4chan >make "be me" post even though no one does that anymore 276 KB JPG >add pepe image even though 4chan hates it now >make "le wholesome" post even though people here are nihilistic assholes >screenshot own thread >don't even crop out the date and time that shows the thread was made literally seconds ago >post on r/4chan and r/greentext >get fake internet points from a bunch of other redditfags that don't actually use 4chan F--- you if you do this
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)08:49:51 No.9363694 >be me >redditfag >unironically a zoomer >pretend to use 4chan >make "be me" post even though no one does that anymore 276 KB JPG >add pepe image even though 4chan hates it now >make "le wholesome" post even though people here are nihilistic assholes >screenshot own thread >don't even crop out the date and time that shows the thread was made literally seconds ago >post on r/4chan and r/greentext >get fake internet points from a bunch of other redditfags that don't actually use 4chan F--- you if you do this

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Anon visits a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)18:30:08 No.61847196 >be me >be 10 >at friends house >really need a s--- but too shy to go downstairs and walk past his family >ITS COMING >HOLD IT >a little turtle head pops out and rolls down my trouser leg without me realising >we're playing lego or some s--- >friend picks up a small black ball >oh s--- >literally oh s--- >he doesnt know what it is >he keeps lightly squeezing it >ask to have a look >he passes me it >i throw it out of the open window immediately and tell him it was old chocolate Anyway then i nicked some bionicle
Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)18:30:08 No.61847196 >be me >be 10 >at friends house >really need a s--- but too shy to go downstairs and walk past his family >ITS COMING >HOLD IT >a little turtle head pops out and rolls down my trouser leg without me realising >we're playing lego or some s--- >friend picks up a small black ball >oh s--- >literally oh s--- >he doesnt know what it is >he keeps lightly squeezing it >ask to have a look >he passes me it >i throw it out of the open window immediately and tell him it was old chocolate Anyway then i nicked some bionicle

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Anon has sex | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_20210104-172635~2.png (205 KB, 720x260) O Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)11:04:27 >Be me. >23 yo kissless virgin. >Been working at Walmart for 5 years. >Work with a qt. >5/10 but she's nice to me. >Invited her over last night to "watch Netflix." >ThatMeansFucking.png >Third episode of I survived I get over my fear and put my arm around her. >This activates her inner slut and we start making out. >Dart my tongue like a lizard because it's my first time. >She still wants it. >Finally f--- her. >Everything was going good except the condom felt s-----. >She's f------ me back and says she's about to c--. >"Wow I'm great at sex." >She arches her back and says she's c------. >She yells like a howler monkey and put on a show. >No milk.jpeg. >She obviously didn't c-- and is lying to me. >Immediately ruined my concentration. >l f------ go soft in her. >She asks if there's something wrong. >Obviously. >I tell her "you don't have to lie to me about c------ I'm not an idiot." >She gets upset and leaves. >Finish with my hand. >Now she won't talk to me at work.
File: Screenshot_20210104-172635~2.png (205 KB, 720x260) O Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)11:04:27 >Be me. >23 yo kissless virgin. >Been working at Walmart for 5 years. >Work with a qt. >5/10 but she's nice to me. >Invited her over last night to "watch Netflix." >ThatMeansFucking.png >Third episode of I survived I get over my fear and put my arm around her. >This activates her inner slut and we start making out. >Dart my tongue like a lizard because it's my first time. >She still wants it. >Finally f--- her. >Everything was going good except the condom felt s-----. >She's f------ me back and says she's about to c--. >"Wow I'm great at sex." >She arches her back and says she's c------. >She yells like a howler monkey and put on a show. >No milk.jpeg. >She obviously didn't c-- and is lying to me. >Immediately ruined my concentration. >l f------ go soft in her. >She asks if there's something wrong. >Obviously. >I tell her "you don't have to lie to me about c------ I'm not an idiot." >She gets upset and leaves. >Finish with my hand. >Now she won't talk to me at work.

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Anon has a rabbit problem | /r/Greentext

File: 1342803271459.jpg-(31 KB, 291x300, rabbit1-291x300.jpg) 8O Anonymous 07/20/12(Fri)12:54:31 No.3146586 H I have a garden. Never mind what's in it. Not your business. F--- you. Now that I'm done with my faggoty little life story, here's the point: I've got a rabbit problem. That insufferable little n----- thinks it can eat my s---. Revenge time. It's not hard to trap a rabbit. You get a cage that shuts when the brainless little s--- wanders into it for a snack. What's hard as f--- is to figure out what that rabbit cares about. I waited up for it. It came out a a little past midnight and I was careful not to scare it. Go ahead! Chew that s--- up! Hop on home at your leisure! You'll see what happens. I followed it. It got away from me 4 times on 4 nights before I found its home... and its wife or whatever rabbits have. Two cages, two rabbits. First night. Easy. Stupid m------------. Those rabbits were not happy. They didn't like being caged. I kept them warm and safe though and even bought them rabbit foo... and another rabbit. A male rabbit. I asked the girl at the store if there was one that stuck out as being dominant -- the jerk of the group. A rabbit alpha. When I threw that hulking, ill-mannered, floppy-eared pet-store reject in with that bastard rabbit's beloved and he had to watch her precious little bunny p--- hole get stuffed again and again by the biggest, baddest tough-guy j------ of a rabbit that I could find, it made him jump and chew his cage and freak out like only desperate jealousy could. I kept them. He had to watch them have babies. 3 litters, before I decided enough was enough. Take that, you little f-----. Replies: >>3146592 Replies to this post: >>3146592 Anonymous 07/20/12(Fri)12:55:43 No.3146592 QDA >>3146586 10/10 Thread Tools Posts: 9 Images: 1 /r9k/ - Board Index O Preload images (1/1) O Expand images Ir9k/
File: 1342803271459.jpg-(31 KB, 291x300, rabbit1-291x300.jpg) 8O Anonymous 07/20/12(Fri)12:54:31 No.3146586 H I have a garden. Never mind what's in it. Not your business. F--- you. Now that I'm done with my faggoty little life story, here's the point: I've got a rabbit problem. That insufferable little n----- thinks it can eat my s---. Revenge time. It's not hard to trap a rabbit. You get a cage that shuts when the brainless little s--- wanders into it for a snack. What's hard as f--- is to figure out what that rabbit cares about. I waited up for it. It came out a a little past midnight and I was careful not to scare it. Go ahead! Chew that s--- up! Hop on home at your leisure! You'll see what happens. I followed it. It got away from me 4 times on 4 nights before I found its home... and its wife or whatever rabbits have. Two cages, two rabbits. First night. Easy. Stupid m------------. Those rabbits were not happy. They didn't like being caged. I kept them warm and safe though and even bought them rabbit foo... and another rabbit. A male rabbit. I asked the girl at the store if there was one that stuck out as being dominant -- the jerk of the group. A rabbit alpha. When I threw that hulking, ill-mannered, floppy-eared pet-store reject in with that bastard rabbit's beloved and he had to watch her precious little bunny p--- hole get stuffed again and again by the biggest, baddest tough-guy j------ of a rabbit that I could find, it made him jump and chew his cage and freak out like only desperate jealousy could. I kept them. He had to watch them have babies. 3 litters, before I decided enough was enough. Take that, you little f-----. Replies: >>3146592 Replies to this post: >>3146592 Anonymous 07/20/12(Fri)12:55:43 No.3146592 QDA >>3146586 10/10 Thread Tools Posts: 9 Images: 1 /r9k/ - Board Index O Preload images (1/1) O Expand images Ir9k/

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Alpha behavior | /r/Greentext

File: SV5w8LxgwLkjk6YG3xULKG.jpg (1.36 MB, 1000x757) O Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)07:45:51 No.61843609 [Reply] >>61844859 >be me >got a pupper from one of the local shelters a few weeks ago >super sweet and kind dog that loves to be pet from everyone >everytime I go for a walk with her everyone stops and tells me how cute she is >yesterday >going for a walk >two super cute girls approach >dog goes crazy towards them >girls start petting her and tell me how cute she is >we talk for a while about puppies and stuff, one of them has one too >"maybe our dogs can become friends, we can bring them together to the dog park" >fuckyes.png >dog starts to walk around smelling the floor >ohno.exe >she s---- the BIGGEST and STINKIEST crap ever >the stench overcomes our facemasks >must be the bone I gave her in the morning so she would stay calm while I was away >girls have to step away from the f------ smell >they go away without saying nothing and with a disgust expression on their faces Why bros?
File: SV5w8LxgwLkjk6YG3xULKG.jpg (1.36 MB, 1000x757) O Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)07:45:51 No.61843609 [Reply] >>61844859 >be me >got a pupper from one of the local shelters a few weeks ago >super sweet and kind dog that loves to be pet from everyone >everytime I go for a walk with her everyone stops and tells me how cute she is >yesterday >going for a walk >two super cute girls approach >dog goes crazy towards them >girls start petting her and tell me how cute she is >we talk for a while about puppies and stuff, one of them has one too >"maybe our dogs can become friends, we can bring them together to the dog park" >fuckyes.png >dog starts to walk around smelling the floor >ohno.exe >she s---- the BIGGEST and STINKIEST crap ever >the stench overcomes our facemasks >must be the bone I gave her in the morning so she would stay calm while I was away >girls have to step away from the f------ smell >they go away without saying nothing and with a disgust expression on their faces Why bros?

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Anon doesn't like pony play | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"
Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon has a potential | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)00:20:48 No.844766211 >wake up >coom EAT >eat SLEEP >Coom REPEAT >sleep >coom 113 KB JPG >wake up >Coom >eat >coom
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)00:20:48 No.844766211 >wake up >coom EAT >eat SLEEP >Coom REPEAT >sleep >coom 113 KB JPG >wake up >Coom >eat >coom

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Anon has cuck dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)16:50:48 No.844760563 >Just had the most Beta f------ cuck dream ever and I'm actually worried about my psyche from this quarantine. >At a campfire party talking to people, almost pick up a cute girl, end up bringing this really fat chick home 25 KB JPG >I refuse to sleep with bigger girls >Get in bed with her, put a condom on, in my f------ dream w-- >She like, lifts her fat fold to get my d--- in. I'm not even fully hard in my dream. >She literally s---- on me, and is so embarrassed she leaves my house while I'm walking to the bathroom with weird chunks of s--- on me >I clean myself off, and try to masturbate in the bathroom >Wake up mid dream wank. I have NEVER had a dream of jerking off, or banging a fat girl. Am I this starved for human attention?
: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)16:50:48 No.844760563 >Just had the most Beta f------ cuck dream ever and I'm actually worried about my psyche from this quarantine. >At a campfire party talking to people, almost pick up a cute girl, end up bringing this really fat chick home 25 KB JPG >I refuse to sleep with bigger girls >Get in bed with her, put a condom on, in my f------ dream w-- >She like, lifts her fat fold to get my d--- in. I'm not even fully hard in my dream. >She literally s---- on me, and is so embarrassed she leaves my house while I'm walking to the bathroom with weird chunks of s--- on me >I clean myself off, and try to masturbate in the bathroom >Wake up mid dream wank. I have NEVER had a dream of jerking off, or banging a fat girl. Am I this starved for human attention?

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anon goes back to prison | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)19:08:11 No.844773509 BDDB153A-E175-4152-B15E-90F3AC8BC131.jpg| 26 KB JPG >going back to prison for the 4th time It's the only way i can get laid /b/ros
: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)19:08:11 No.844773509 BDDB153A-E175-4152-B15E-90F3AC8BC131.jpg| 26 KB JPG >going back to prison for the 4th time It's the only way i can get laid /b/ros

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