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Anon loves mommy and plot twists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 279 KB PNG 07/07/22(Thu)20:43:07 No.881614669 Mom stories anyone? >Be me, 7, 2nd grade >Dad is hardly around due to work so spend lots of time with mom >Mom took me to school almost all the time >D------ 7th graders made fun of me for some reason >One day, last week of school >Mom stays with me a little after dropping me up >Some kid calls me something stupid (I don't remember but it was probably something like mommy's boy) >Mom hears and goes up to him >Scolds the kid, the kid is super scared >Feel like the coolest kid in the world >Mom takes me home early >Get home >Get r---- by my dad kek good one anon : Anonymous >>881614669 (OP) # 07/07/22(Thu)20:48:49 No.881614908
: Anonymous 279 KB PNG 07/07/22(Thu)20:43:07 No.881614669 Mom stories anyone? >Be me, 7, 2nd grade >Dad is hardly around due to work so spend lots of time with mom >Mom took me to school almost all the time >D------ 7th graders made fun of me for some reason >One day, last week of school >Mom stays with me a little after dropping me up >Some kid calls me something stupid (I don't remember but it was probably something like mommy's boy) >Mom hears and goes up to him >Scolds the kid, the kid is super scared >Feel like the coolest kid in the world >Mom takes me home early >Get home >Get r---- by my dad kek good one anon : Anonymous >>881614669 (OP) # 07/07/22(Thu)20:48:49 No.881614908

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Anon Hates Rich Tech People | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BUSINESS INSIDER 07/02/22(Sat)17:43:53 No.25646499 I just got laid off from my dream job at Tesla without warning. I feel like my life got uprooted so a billionaire could save some money. Jenna Gyimesi June 29, 2022, 6:37 am Screenshot_20220702-154208_Chrome.jpg 163 KB JPG On this week's episode of "What a Retard"... Anonymous 07/02/22(Sat) 18:24:07 No.25646595 2240422F-8B1D-40AA-BD85-6D21AB2DA772.jpg 48 KB JPG >>25646499 (OP) # >Hello! >I'm a young, racially ambiguous, rich a------ >I'm going to complain about my rich a------ problems to you >You, with the 20+ year old car >You, who is struggling to pay for gas, groceries, and rent >You, who wasn't lucky enough to have had their parents pay for higher education >And then I'm going to go on to having no problems getting another job doing exactly what I'm doing here >Possibly for a lower six-figure income! >And then I'm going to complain about all of this to you >And I expect you to feel bad for me I hope he gets chained to the basement underneath a Nissan plant in Tennessee, where they will whip him day and night until he produces the next exploding Nissan Leaf.
: Anonymous BUSINESS INSIDER 07/02/22(Sat)17:43:53 No.25646499 I just got laid off from my dream job at Tesla without warning. I feel like my life got uprooted so a billionaire could save some money. Jenna Gyimesi June 29, 2022, 6:37 am Screenshot_20220702-154208_Chrome.jpg 163 KB JPG On this week's episode of "What a Retard"... Anonymous 07/02/22(Sat) 18:24:07 No.25646595 2240422F-8B1D-40AA-BD85-6D21AB2DA772.jpg 48 KB JPG >>25646499 (OP) # >Hello! >I'm a young, racially ambiguous, rich a------ >I'm going to complain about my rich a------ problems to you >You, with the 20+ year old car >You, who is struggling to pay for gas, groceries, and rent >You, who wasn't lucky enough to have had their parents pay for higher education >And then I'm going to go on to having no problems getting another job doing exactly what I'm doing here >Possibly for a lower six-figure income! >And then I'm going to complain about all of this to you >And I expect you to feel bad for me I hope he gets chained to the basement underneath a Nissan plant in Tennessee, where they will whip him day and night until he produces the next exploding Nissan Leaf.

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Anon gets grievously injured | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an Apartment Farmer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: W8imLrU6 >>385639035 (OP) >be me >buy 5 hens >buy 50lb bag of laying hen food >50lb bag last 1.5 months >50lb bag cost $11 >hens lay 4 eggs/day >mfw a get 15 dozen fresh eggs for $11 >cityfags btfo | 07/07/22(Thu)07:57:43 No.385646095
Anonymous (ID: W8imLrU6 >>385639035 (OP) >be me >buy 5 hens >buy 50lb bag of laying hen food >50lb bag last 1.5 months >50lb bag cost $11 >hens lay 4 eggs/day >mfw a get 15 dozen fresh eggs for $11 >cityfags btfo | 07/07/22(Thu)07:57:43 No.385646095

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Anon falls for the meme | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Who roads they squishy playmate? Omg me 07/07/22(Thu)16:38:47 No.69327036 699 KB PNG the greatest psyop this site ever pulled was the autistic gf meme >be normie tier loser, slightly spergy but no major issues >meet autistic tomboy online >she messages first, keeps the convo going and acts very interested >remember that according to you retards this is my best chance to ascend >we go on a picnic date at a local park >she shows up with noise cancelling headphones and a literal autism card (like in the joker movie, except explaining that she gets autistic meltdowns) >talks to me for an entire hour nonstop about the most random s--- >i said 3 words max >we get to the spot, i brought some supermarket sandwiches >doesnt touch them, the texture makes her uncomfortable >eats a protein bar and drinks some weird onions milk shake instead >spends 2 more hours rambling on about weird medical s--- >try to relate, tell her about an article i read related to the conversation >ignores every single word i said i thought having an autistic gf would mean i dont have to deal with typical woman b------- but just a couple hours talking to one and im already sick of it. dont fall for the me me lads.
: Anonymous Who roads they squishy playmate? Omg me 07/07/22(Thu)16:38:47 No.69327036 699 KB PNG the greatest psyop this site ever pulled was the autistic gf meme >be normie tier loser, slightly spergy but no major issues >meet autistic tomboy online >she messages first, keeps the convo going and acts very interested >remember that according to you retards this is my best chance to ascend >we go on a picnic date at a local park >she shows up with noise cancelling headphones and a literal autism card (like in the joker movie, except explaining that she gets autistic meltdowns) >talks to me for an entire hour nonstop about the most random s--- >i said 3 words max >we get to the spot, i brought some supermarket sandwiches >doesnt touch them, the texture makes her uncomfortable >eats a protein bar and drinks some weird onions milk shake instead >spends 2 more hours rambling on about weird medical s--- >try to relate, tell her about an article i read related to the conversation >ignores every single word i said i thought having an autistic gf would mean i dont have to deal with typical woman b------- but just a couple hours talking to one and im already sick of it. dont fall for the me me lads.

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gnidlokcuC | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a clown | /r/Greentext

12/20/20(Sun)16:01:47 No.61476013 >be me, have s----- nephew >Tell him that every time he does something bad boogie the clown writes something on his wall. >After the 5th time Boogie the clown will pay him a visit >Nephew is scared as piss about this and asks his parents if it's real >They tell him it's b------- so he starts acting up again. Anonymous 9 KB JPG >I write something on his wall each time >he gets scared after the 4th time >forgets about it a year later, acts up again and I write on his wall a 5th time saying "I'm coming" >Ask his mom if I can babysit him, she says sure >Dress up as a clown and knock on his door when he's expecting me. >His face was priceless, he froze up and couldn't even run, he fell on the ground and froze up. >It's been 4 years and he takes therapy now for his clown trauma. >The therapist, his parents, no one believes him that the clown visited him >I tell him I don't know what he's talking about and don't remember ever mentioning it.
12/20/20(Sun)16:01:47 No.61476013 >be me, have s----- nephew >Tell him that every time he does something bad boogie the clown writes something on his wall. >After the 5th time Boogie the clown will pay him a visit >Nephew is scared as piss about this and asks his parents if it's real >They tell him it's b------- so he starts acting up again. Anonymous 9 KB JPG >I write something on his wall each time >he gets scared after the 4th time >forgets about it a year later, acts up again and I write on his wall a 5th time saying "I'm coming" >Ask his mom if I can babysit him, she says sure >Dress up as a clown and knock on his door when he's expecting me. >His face was priceless, he froze up and couldn't even run, he fell on the ground and froze up. >It's been 4 years and he takes therapy now for his clown trauma. >The therapist, his parents, no one believes him that the clown visited him >I tell him I don't know what he's talking about and don't remember ever mentioning it.

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Anon is Canadian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 5NpCnUc0) 07/06/22 (Wed)14:52:33 No.385552030 >>385552265 >>385553025 >>385556581 >>385559341 >be canadian >wake up for morning shift after working close shift >realize it's a privilege to work a minimum wage job >do a covid test in the bathroom while i decide if it's worth brushing my teeth or just wear a mask >listening to CBC while I get ready >need to make sure I'm up to date with appropriate flags and gender on my tiktok profile >hear news about another systemic abuse in the USA >struggle with my ego when I hear that there's a social problem I can't be a part of >leave my small basement apartment while my roommate collects government handouts for free >realize I will never own or inherit a house >not stressed, as I have no practical skills to maintain a house >also natives didn't own land, so why should i, i don't want to be rude, this is their land after all >take bus to work >give up my seat for nose-picking booger-eating somalian family >apologize, but feel guilty because I don't really mean it >need coffee before shift starts >struggle through translating the punjabi wagie as I order timmies >get double double >get to job finally >pray 5 times to the rainbow flag >don my rainbow uniform, it's June afterall >help poc customers sort out problems a google search could resolve >don't make solving the problem look too easy, as that might make them self conscious >also avoid eye contact, as that's a micro aggression >paycheck is finally here >tell the ladies in HR they are doing a useful job as they hand me a cheque after f------ up my direct deposit >have to compliment Trudeau before I'm allowed to deposit my money >most of my money goes to funding ukraine, boomer healthcare, or trudeaus offshore account instead of fixing roads >remember I'm a globally conscious-pilled citizen who takes the bus >at least the money isn't going to cops >decide between rent or luxury peanut butter for the rest of my budget >oops, spend most of my money on weed >hear news that someone was shot in america >thank god I'm not american
Anonymous (ID: 5NpCnUc0) 07/06/22 (Wed)14:52:33 No.385552030 >>385552265 >>385553025 >>385556581 >>385559341 >be canadian >wake up for morning shift after working close shift >realize it's a privilege to work a minimum wage job >do a covid test in the bathroom while i decide if it's worth brushing my teeth or just wear a mask >listening to CBC while I get ready >need to make sure I'm up to date with appropriate flags and gender on my tiktok profile >hear news about another systemic abuse in the USA >struggle with my ego when I hear that there's a social problem I can't be a part of >leave my small basement apartment while my roommate collects government handouts for free >realize I will never own or inherit a house >not stressed, as I have no practical skills to maintain a house >also natives didn't own land, so why should i, i don't want to be rude, this is their land after all >take bus to work >give up my seat for nose-picking booger-eating somalian family >apologize, but feel guilty because I don't really mean it >need coffee before shift starts >struggle through translating the punjabi wagie as I order timmies >get double double >get to job finally >pray 5 times to the rainbow flag >don my rainbow uniform, it's June afterall >help poc customers sort out problems a google search could resolve >don't make solving the problem look too easy, as that might make them self conscious >also avoid eye contact, as that's a micro aggression >paycheck is finally here >tell the ladies in HR they are doing a useful job as they hand me a cheque after f------ up my direct deposit >have to compliment Trudeau before I'm allowed to deposit my money >most of my money goes to funding ukraine, boomer healthcare, or trudeaus offshore account instead of fixing roads >remember I'm a globally conscious-pilled citizen who takes the bus >at least the money isn't going to cops >decide between rent or luxury peanut butter for the rest of my budget >oops, spend most of my money on weed >hear news that someone was shot in america >thank god I'm not american

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anon fixes game consoles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous AL 264 KB JPG 07/07/22(Thu)14:22:05 No.881598974 >be me >PC and game console repair as a side job >Kid no older than 12 calls >Sounds nervous, tells me that his family's PS2 isn't working >He and his mom bring it to my workshop >It won't read discs, luckily I have a spare disc drive >Unscrew it, swap them >Console is overheating for some reason >Open the console >Loads of weed and coke bags inside of it >Kids mom looks at me shocked, I start laughing my ass off >Turns out the kids dad was hiding his addiction behind the family's back and left some proof inside the console >Dad gets arrested >Kid gets his PS2 working again What a great day
: Anonymous AL 264 KB JPG 07/07/22(Thu)14:22:05 No.881598974 >be me >PC and game console repair as a side job >Kid no older than 12 calls >Sounds nervous, tells me that his family's PS2 isn't working >He and his mom bring it to my workshop >It won't read discs, luckily I have a spare disc drive >Unscrew it, swap them >Console is overheating for some reason >Open the console >Loads of weed and coke bags inside of it >Kids mom looks at me shocked, I start laughing my ass off >Turns out the kids dad was hiding his addiction behind the family's back and left some proof inside the console >Dad gets arrested >Kid gets his PS2 working again What a great day

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Gabe gets all the bitches | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets bullied by mum | /r/Greentext


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Anon takes matter into his own hands | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a family man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 47 KB GIF 07/05/22(Tue)12:53:08 No.604851741 >mfw my sim managed to marry the local goth singer and have a happy family and both of them got the faithful moodlet
: Anonymous 47 KB GIF 07/05/22(Tue)12:53:08 No.604851741 >mfw my sim managed to marry the local goth singer and have a happy family and both of them got the faithful moodlet

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Anon is br*tish | /r/Greentext

File: 1289152006.jpg (79 KB, 840x780, ImSoBritish.jpg) I'M SO BRITISH I S--- THE QUEEN Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:46:46 No.285473XXX >my face when americans call "wobbly flip-shutters" doors >my face when americans call a "Small Ben" a clock >my face when americans call a "chimey pushknob" a doorbell >my face when americans call "niffy loo pudding" feces >my face when americans call a "Hooty tooty point and shooty" a gun >my face when Americans call a "beef wellington ensemble with lettuce" a hamburger >my face when americans call "crockety snapwickets" markers >my face when americans call "cold on the cob" popsicles >my face when americans call a "loony chuckle fairy" a clown >my face when americans call a "cuff-link time Johnny" a watch Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:49:07 No.285473XXX I lol'd...hard Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:49:44 No.285473XXX >cold on the cob LOL Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:51:04 No.285474XXX I'm English, and these are funny. Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12-51-16 No 285474XXX
File: 1289152006.jpg (79 KB, 840x780, ImSoBritish.jpg) I'M SO BRITISH I S--- THE QUEEN Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:46:46 No.285473XXX >my face when americans call "wobbly flip-shutters" doors >my face when americans call a "Small Ben" a clock >my face when americans call a "chimey pushknob" a doorbell >my face when americans call "niffy loo pudding" feces >my face when americans call a "Hooty tooty point and shooty" a gun >my face when Americans call a "beef wellington ensemble with lettuce" a hamburger >my face when americans call "crockety snapwickets" markers >my face when americans call "cold on the cob" popsicles >my face when americans call a "loony chuckle fairy" a clown >my face when americans call a "cuff-link time Johnny" a watch Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:49:07 No.285473XXX I lol'd...hard Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:49:44 No.285473XXX >cold on the cob LOL Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12:51:04 No.285474XXX I'm English, and these are funny. Anonymous 11/07/10(Sun)12-51-16 No 285474XXX

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext


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Anon plays Runescape | /r/Greentext


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Anon got Mandela'd | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UFGX+P80 > be me > live near minneapolis > go to 2018 x games > fruit of the loom is a sponsor 07/07/22(Thu)00:25:15 No.385603124 > logo is on the scoreboard > there's a cornucopia > be me some time later > hear about the cornucopia mandela effect > remember the cornucopia logo at the x games > watch the replay from the broadcast on youtube > there's no cornucopia WHAT THE ABSOLUTE F---
Anonymous (ID: UFGX+P80 > be me > live near minneapolis > go to 2018 x games > fruit of the loom is a sponsor 07/07/22(Thu)00:25:15 No.385603124 > logo is on the scoreboard > there's a cornucopia > be me some time later > hear about the cornucopia mandela effect > remember the cornucopia logo at the x games > watch the replay from the broadcast on youtube > there's no cornucopia WHAT THE ABSOLUTE F---

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