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Pride after the fall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)20:00:10 No.69888024 >Be 5"9 baldie male who's sub8 in every department except blue eyes >Standing at crowded bus terminal >Women are all giving me dirty looks except for a few who are absorbed into their phones >One lady in particular is giving me the devil's eye so hard that it feels like I'm actually becoming cursed 40 KB PNG >Pretty normal day for someone like me when I get the idea to go exist for a bit (huge problem) >Get a hug from my boyfriend >Suddenly the dirty looks are gone and even the witch has stopped paying attention >One of them is even smiling at me now
: Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)20:00:10 No.69888024 >Be 5"9 baldie male who's sub8 in every department except blue eyes >Standing at crowded bus terminal >Women are all giving me dirty looks except for a few who are absorbed into their phones >One lady in particular is giving me the devil's eye so hard that it feels like I'm actually becoming cursed 40 KB PNG >Pretty normal day for someone like me when I get the idea to go exist for a bit (huge problem) >Get a hug from my boyfriend >Suddenly the dirty looks are gone and even the witch has stopped paying attention >One of them is even smiling at me now

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Anon scares alpha males | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cool ZONE 04/17/21 (Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 465 KB PNG >be me >s------- in public university bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >I'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?' >panic >shout 'F--- OFF!' >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas
: Anonymous cool ZONE 04/17/21 (Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 465 KB PNG >be me >s------- in public university bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >I'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?' >panic >shout 'F--- OFF!' >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas

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Anon got no trickled down privilege | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 159 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)01:00:07 No.884258465 I hate my ancestors /b/ >dad's side of ancestors were slave owners >w-- I'm so f------ mad. How did my ancestors get to own slaves but my dad is a f------ wendys manager at age 57? Between the slave owners and me, someone f----- up so bad that now not only are we all going to hell for the slave owning sins but we couldn't even retain our slavery wealth to enjoy in this world. I was robbed of my white privilege.
Anonymous 159 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)01:00:07 No.884258465 I hate my ancestors /b/ >dad's side of ancestors were slave owners >w-- I'm so f------ mad. How did my ancestors get to own slaves but my dad is a f------ wendys manager at age 57? Between the slave owners and me, someone f----- up so bad that now not only are we all going to hell for the slave owning sins but we couldn't even retain our slavery wealth to enjoy in this world. I was robbed of my white privilege.

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Anon turns in a project | /r/Greentext

359 KB PNG > be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
359 KB PNG > be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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anon finds the solution | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: NOUg4QGN UCH 08/28/21(Sat)11:20:28 No.336511053 >hey >hey guys >hey guys, get this >if you separate your garbage into plastic, paper and glass >if you stop driving your car and 231 KB PNG use public transport instead >if you stop eating meat >if you pay your government more taxes (actually, this one is the most important one) >your government >your government >get this >your government >your government will reduce the temperature of the planet
Anonymous (ID: NOUg4QGN UCH 08/28/21(Sat)11:20:28 No.336511053 >hey >hey guys >hey guys, get this >if you separate your garbage into plastic, paper and glass >if you stop driving your car and 231 KB PNG use public transport instead >if you stop eating meat >if you pay your government more taxes (actually, this one is the most important one) >your government >your government >get this >your government >your government will reduce the temperature of the planet

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Anon whips and neigh neigh | /r/Greentext

87 KB PNG you have 10 seconds to prove your not a horse : Anonymous I can use a keyboard and mouse 08/16/22(Tue)21:20:28 No.884026691 08/16/22(Tue)21:21:29 No.884026741 Anonymous >>884026660 (OP) # >you're : Anonymous >>884026660 (OP) # S--- s--- s--- s--- s--- s--- s--- 08/16/22(Tue)21:23:18 No.884026821 08/16/22(Tue)21:23:27 No.884026826 : Anonymous How would a horse type this?
87 KB PNG you have 10 seconds to prove your not a horse : Anonymous I can use a keyboard and mouse 08/16/22(Tue)21:20:28 No.884026691 08/16/22(Tue)21:21:29 No.884026741 Anonymous >>884026660 (OP) # >you're : Anonymous >>884026660 (OP) # S--- s--- s--- s--- s--- s--- s--- 08/16/22(Tue)21:23:18 No.884026821 08/16/22(Tue)21:23:27 No.884026826 : Anonymous How would a horse type this?

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Anon loves ants | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/28/22(Tue)02:18:12 No.880981822 9 KB JPG >be me >enjoying my delicious icecream >a wasp lands on me >"hehe it wants to be my friend" >stings me >pain.png >I swat it away. >I find the wasp nest where it came from in my backyard. >I don't have any pest control items >i declare war on the wasps and toss whats left of my icecream on the wasp nest. >I go to work >Hours later, i come back and see ants have invaded the tree where the wasp nest was located. >The wasps go a------ and attack the incoming ants >The ants let the rest of the ant colony know that the ants are under attack. >Incoming massive ant army >Wasps are now under attack >Individual wasps are held down by ants and stung repeatedly. >Must be 1000 wasps vs 100,000 ants. >I listen to soviet march music from the game red alert 3 on repeat and watch a massive insect war breakout for a solid 3 hours. >Eventually the ants start breaching the wasp nest >Wasps abandon their nest with their young. >Yeah f--- them wasps, serves them right. >Next day, i see many corpses of fallen ants and wasps. >Everyday I salute the ants for their service and brave sacrifice before i go to work. >I love ants.
Anonymous 06/28/22(Tue)02:18:12 No.880981822 9 KB JPG >be me >enjoying my delicious icecream >a wasp lands on me >"hehe it wants to be my friend" >stings me >pain.png >I swat it away. >I find the wasp nest where it came from in my backyard. >I don't have any pest control items >i declare war on the wasps and toss whats left of my icecream on the wasp nest. >I go to work >Hours later, i come back and see ants have invaded the tree where the wasp nest was located. >The wasps go a------ and attack the incoming ants >The ants let the rest of the ant colony know that the ants are under attack. >Incoming massive ant army >Wasps are now under attack >Individual wasps are held down by ants and stung repeatedly. >Must be 1000 wasps vs 100,000 ants. >I listen to soviet march music from the game red alert 3 on repeat and watch a massive insect war breakout for a solid 3 hours. >Eventually the ants start breaching the wasp nest >Wasps abandon their nest with their young. >Yeah f--- them wasps, serves them right. >Next day, i see many corpses of fallen ants and wasps. >Everyday I salute the ants for their service and brave sacrifice before i go to work. >I love ants.

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Anon does philophosy | /r/Greentext

32 images (29).jpg 157 KB JPG >If matter/energy cannot be created or destroyed, then it will continue infinitely into the future. >If consciousness is the result of physical processes in the brain, and the matter that makes up my brain will continue to exist for an infinite amount of time, then eventually my brain will reform using the same matter in the same configuration and thus have the same consciousness. >If you cannot percieve time while unconscious, then there will appear to be no space between my death and my eventual rebirth
32 images (29).jpg 157 KB JPG >If matter/energy cannot be created or destroyed, then it will continue infinitely into the future. >If consciousness is the result of physical processes in the brain, and the matter that makes up my brain will continue to exist for an infinite amount of time, then eventually my brain will reform using the same matter in the same configuration and thus have the same consciousness. >If you cannot percieve time while unconscious, then there will appear to be no space between my death and my eventual rebirth

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Weighed down by the past | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BRIDE 173 KB JPG 08/20/22(Sat)21:30:08 No.69888940 >am older femanon in early thirties >always been fat my entire life >maybe chubby during my high school years depending on how you feel about the term but just fat now >got married in 2013 >back in 2008 to 2011, I used to post fat fetish videos of myself on classic Youtube >it felt good seeing people comment on them and like parts of me that everyone had made fun of all my life >most of the videos were me playing up my fatness and doing stuff like eating or breaking buttons on small shirts >eventually got banned by Youtube >for years now I thought it all vanished >but yesterday I saw my old videos uploaded on a site called Stuffer DB >they have my face in them >they're all over the internet too and impossible to take down I'm scared, my husband isn't some super conservative guy but I don't know how he would react to these old videos. Plus we have three kids and I'm pregnant with a fourth, and I don't want their friends finding them. I actually hate the OnlyFans culture nowadays and just did these videos to make myself feel better.
: Anonymous BRIDE 173 KB JPG 08/20/22(Sat)21:30:08 No.69888940 >am older femanon in early thirties >always been fat my entire life >maybe chubby during my high school years depending on how you feel about the term but just fat now >got married in 2013 >back in 2008 to 2011, I used to post fat fetish videos of myself on classic Youtube >it felt good seeing people comment on them and like parts of me that everyone had made fun of all my life >most of the videos were me playing up my fatness and doing stuff like eating or breaking buttons on small shirts >eventually got banned by Youtube >for years now I thought it all vanished >but yesterday I saw my old videos uploaded on a site called Stuffer DB >they have my face in them >they're all over the internet too and impossible to take down I'm scared, my husband isn't some super conservative guy but I don't know how he would react to these old videos. Plus we have three kids and I'm pregnant with a fourth, and I don't want their friends finding them. I actually hate the OnlyFans culture nowadays and just did these videos to make myself feel better.

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smart fella or fart smella | /r/Greentext

add wire and connect it to wifi card > "ah, my masterpiece is complete" > le proud.png > slowly move mouse to wifi icon > "mcdonalds wifi" > icon starts moving > *put hands together to pray* > connecting.... > second-hand-ticking.png > connecting.... > *sweat dribbles down head* > connecting... connecting... > BOOM! > WIFI CONNECTS! > *eyes pop out of head towards screen* > w--.jpg > *jaw drops onto laptop keyboard* > "W-- FREE WIFI!!!!" > hackerman.jpg > have free wifi for life > *eyes flash into dollar signs* > go to mcdonalds later that day > worker tells me thank you > "no... thank YOU :)" > le smug.jpg Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat) 19:05:38 > be me > move into new apartment > broke.jpg > need wifi > no-wifi.png > le sad face > notice McDonalds across the street > thinking.jpg > *rubs chin* > "ah i have an idea" > *lightbulb pops lights above head* > dedicated_face.jpg > find old tin can > drill hole > hole is perfect size
add wire and connect it to wifi card > "ah, my masterpiece is complete" > le proud.png > slowly move mouse to wifi icon > "mcdonalds wifi" > icon starts moving > *put hands together to pray* > connecting.... > second-hand-ticking.png > connecting.... > *sweat dribbles down head* > connecting... connecting... > BOOM! > WIFI CONNECTS! > *eyes pop out of head towards screen* > w--.jpg > *jaw drops onto laptop keyboard* > "W-- FREE WIFI!!!!" > hackerman.jpg > have free wifi for life > *eyes flash into dollar signs* > go to mcdonalds later that day > worker tells me thank you > "no... thank YOU :)" > le smug.jpg Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat) 19:05:38 > be me > move into new apartment > broke.jpg > need wifi > no-wifi.png > le sad face > notice McDonalds across the street > thinking.jpg > *rubs chin* > "ah i have an idea" > *lightbulb pops lights above head* > dedicated_face.jpg > find old tin can > drill hole > hole is perfect size

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Anon streams. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri)03:39:42 No.69870318 63 KB JPG >streaming services seen as affordable alternative to cable >everything you could ever want to watch is on-demand in one place fast forward like ten years >every cable channel makes their own streaming service >everything you wanna watch is scattered across 20 different streaming services >combined price exceeds that of a cable plan media piracy will always remain a viable option
: Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri)03:39:42 No.69870318 63 KB JPG >streaming services seen as affordable alternative to cable >everything you could ever want to watch is on-demand in one place fast forward like ten years >every cable channel makes their own streaming service >everything you wanna watch is scattered across 20 different streaming services >combined price exceeds that of a cable plan media piracy will always remain a viable option

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Anon helps his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)09:56:31 No.609521397 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*
: Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)09:56:31 No.609521397 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*

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Anon accidentally his whole Super Nintendo | /r/Greentext

File :1223273739.jpg-(23 KB, 448x464) Anonymous 10/06/08(Mon)02:15:39 No.89346705 [Reply] I accidently my whole super nintendo. Is..is that safe? >> Anonymous 10/06/08(Mon)02:16:26 No.89346822 >>89346705 you did wat? >> Anonymous 10/06/08 (Mon)02:17:30 No.89346972 my whole super nintendo
File :1223273739.jpg-(23 KB, 448x464) Anonymous 10/06/08(Mon)02:15:39 No.89346705 [Reply] I accidently my whole super nintendo. Is..is that safe? >> Anonymous 10/06/08(Mon)02:16:26 No.89346822 >>89346705 you did wat? >> Anonymous 10/06/08 (Mon)02:17:30 No.89346972 my whole super nintendo

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Anon observes | /r/Greentext

R: 9/1: 3 Mosquito: >drains blood from their victim >rubs their hands afterwards Coincidence? I think not
R: 9/1: 3 Mosquito: >drains blood from their victim >rubs their hands afterwards Coincidence? I think not

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Anon is getting gigachad training | /r/Greentext

SCARED Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat) 08:13:01 No.69880434 [Reply] ► >>69881553 >started going to therapy >there's a shrink specializing in mens issues >~24 reviews, vast majority 5 stars >he's a 6'2" Chad Thundercock >what >was feeling depressed and stressed about work >teaches me how to unironically cope >works good enough, feel less bad >ask him about girls and dating >tells me about how it honestly isn't that easy, he used to be fat >but says that all the guys that need help with their dating has found some success >but only if they gave his advice and methods an honest try The guy looks like a literal Chad but he hasn't told me to just "be myself" or anything like that. Right now my "homework" is to talk to 2 girls I think are pretty without any expectations. Talking to them is the goal, it doesn't matter what happens.
SCARED Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat) 08:13:01 No.69880434 [Reply] ► >>69881553 >started going to therapy >there's a shrink specializing in mens issues >~24 reviews, vast majority 5 stars >he's a 6'2" Chad Thundercock >what >was feeling depressed and stressed about work >teaches me how to unironically cope >works good enough, feel less bad >ask him about girls and dating >tells me about how it honestly isn't that easy, he used to be fat >but says that all the guys that need help with their dating has found some success >but only if they gave his advice and methods an honest try The guy looks like a literal Chad but he hasn't told me to just "be myself" or anything like that. Right now my "homework" is to talk to 2 girls I think are pretty without any expectations. Talking to them is the goal, it doesn't matter what happens.

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Anon is not you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous me not you 27 KB JPG >be you >don't be me 08/17/22(Wed) 23:15:14 No.69850241 >you are you >be me >not you >i am me >you are not >i am me and not you >you are you >be you >not me Rookie mistake
: Anonymous me not you 27 KB JPG >be you >don't be me 08/17/22(Wed) 23:15:14 No.69850241 >you are you >be me >not you >i am me >you are not >i am me and not you >you are you >be you >not me Rookie mistake

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Anon gives dating advice(and its actually pretty decent) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 662 KB PNG 08/19/22 (Fri) 15:09:47 No.884169986 I want a girl that looks similar like this but I am afraid she would be out of my league. What should I do to improve? View Thread 08/19/22 (Fri)15:10:20 No.884170004 or like this cutie : Anonymous >>884169986 (OP) # your self confidence and self esteem. just like men women are attracted to all sorts of different body shapes, even the chubby ones. figure out who you are, and be that guy, confidently and with purpose. 08/19/22 (Fri)15:15:13 No.884170194 having a job that doesn't suck, and aspirations for the future are also good.
: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 662 KB PNG 08/19/22 (Fri) 15:09:47 No.884169986 I want a girl that looks similar like this but I am afraid she would be out of my league. What should I do to improve? View Thread 08/19/22 (Fri)15:10:20 No.884170004 or like this cutie : Anonymous >>884169986 (OP) # your self confidence and self esteem. just like men women are attracted to all sorts of different body shapes, even the chubby ones. figure out who you are, and be that guy, confidently and with purpose. 08/19/22 (Fri)15:15:13 No.884170194 having a job that doesn't suck, and aspirations for the future are also good.

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Anon hates women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 85 KB JPG 11/28/21(Sun)14:45:06 No.867559071 God I hate women. >be me >arrange date with a girl I met on OkCupid >confirm date is still happen 1 hour before going >arrive at location 10mins early >girl hasn't arrived 10mins after set time >text girl to see if shell be running late >no response >wait for 40mins >no response >send a text telling her I'm going home. It's too cold. >no response >still hasn't responded F--- women. Why do they feel like it's ok to make someone wait in the freezing cold. If you aint feeling it f------ let the person know asap so they don't waste their time. Hopefully the w---- will meet do this to dome autist and he will stalk her and r--- her. I'm f------ done.
: Anonymous 85 KB JPG 11/28/21(Sun)14:45:06 No.867559071 God I hate women. >be me >arrange date with a girl I met on OkCupid >confirm date is still happen 1 hour before going >arrive at location 10mins early >girl hasn't arrived 10mins after set time >text girl to see if shell be running late >no response >wait for 40mins >no response >send a text telling her I'm going home. It's too cold. >no response >still hasn't responded F--- women. Why do they feel like it's ok to make someone wait in the freezing cold. If you aint feeling it f------ let the person know asap so they don't waste their time. Hopefully the w---- will meet do this to dome autist and he will stalk her and r--- her. I'm f------ done.

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Anon has a malicious idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 648 KB PNG 01/23/20(Thu)11:56:49 No.819094755 >be me >20 yo student >doing little computer repairs for money >get call from friend working at warehouse >"Anon, there is this huge pile of laptops that has to be thrown away. I asked my boss if I could take them and he said yes. They seem pretty recent, come and see them, maybe you can earn quite some money off it" >see pictures >lots of Thinkpad T440 >whynot.jpg >go to friend >inspect laptops >most of them have problems, but some work fine >load them on car >head back home >a------ jumps a red light and t-bones the back of my car >police comes sees dashcam footage and says this a------ was in fault >submit insurance compensation >maliciousidea.gif >put all 50 laptops into compensation mfw I receive 30000$ in compensation for mostly broken laptops 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 648 KB PNG 01/23/20(Thu)11:56:49 No.819094755 >be me >20 yo student >doing little computer repairs for money >get call from friend working at warehouse >"Anon, there is this huge pile of laptops that has to be thrown away. I asked my boss if I could take them and he said yes. They seem pretty recent, come and see them, maybe you can earn quite some money off it" >see pictures >lots of Thinkpad T440 >whynot.jpg >go to friend >inspect laptops >most of them have problems, but some work fine >load them on car >head back home >a------ jumps a red light and t-bones the back of my car >police comes sees dashcam footage and says this a------ was in fault >submit insurance compensation >maliciousidea.gif >put all 50 laptops into compensation mfw I receive 30000$ in compensation for mostly broken laptops 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon gets put in his place | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 757 KB PNG 09/28/19(Sat)11:37:48 Anonymous Bad thread No.111908715 Anonymous >woooow look we stacked a bunch of rocks on top of eachother >please clap 09/28/19(Sat)11:43:12 No.111908983 09/28/19(Sat)11:44:34 No.111909056 yea thats kiddie s--- remember that famous denmark construction like uuuhh wait you dont have any denmark more like nolandmarks Imao >>111909912 # >>111910166 # >>111910244 # >>111910271 # >>111910337 # >>111910383 # >>111910512 # >>111910534 # >>111910535 # >>111910593 # >>111910616 # >>111910734 # >>111910789 # >>111910822 # >>111910844 #
Anonymous 757 KB PNG 09/28/19(Sat)11:37:48 Anonymous Bad thread No.111908715 Anonymous >woooow look we stacked a bunch of rocks on top of eachother >please clap 09/28/19(Sat)11:43:12 No.111908983 09/28/19(Sat)11:44:34 No.111909056 yea thats kiddie s--- remember that famous denmark construction like uuuhh wait you dont have any denmark more like nolandmarks Imao >>111909912 # >>111910166 # >>111910244 # >>111910271 # >>111910337 # >>111910383 # >>111910512 # >>111910534 # >>111910535 # >>111910593 # >>111910616 # >>111910734 # >>111910789 # >>111910822 # >>111910844 #

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