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Anon just wanted some pancakes. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 02/02/21 (Tue)19:48:24 No.15514415 "Can I have the fruit pancakes please?" >"The what? There's nothing on the menu called "fruit pancakes". "Th-the fresh fruit pancakes." >"Huh..." "Th-this one..." [points to menu] >"Say it." "What?" >"Say. It." "I'd like a... r-....rooty t-tooty...." >"Say it like you mean it." [starting to cry] "I-I want a r-r-rooty t-tooty f-f-....f- fresh n... n fruity...." Why do dining establishments like to humiliate their customers like this?
: Anonymous 39 KB JPG 02/02/21 (Tue)19:48:24 No.15514415 "Can I have the fruit pancakes please?" >"The what? There's nothing on the menu called "fruit pancakes". "Th-the fresh fruit pancakes." >"Huh..." "Th-this one..." [points to menu] >"Say it." "What?" >"Say. It." "I'd like a... r-....rooty t-tooty...." >"Say it like you mean it." [starting to cry] "I-I want a r-r-rooty t-tooty f-f-....f- fresh n... n fruity...." Why do dining establishments like to humiliate their customers like this?

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All the wrong moves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Tried to do the sex:/ 1.32 MB PNG 11/08/22(Tue) 19:34:29 No.70913465 Boys are so awkward dude :*) >be me >know a boy for a year or two that i met i high school >things get a bit tense between us and we do some sexting and talk abt doing stuff with eachother >be today >he invites me to come over and implies we would do something >i sit on his bed >he doesnt make any moves >leans his head on my shoulder >plzgodstop >he just keeps staring at me and occasionally sitting closer to me >still doesnt make a move >starts watching tiktoks >leave and go home Was he just being a gentleman or is he just super autistic, its like that hard, rub my thigh, go in for a kiss, compliment me, get on top of me. Jesus chirst im never gonna try to have sex again...
: Anonymous Tried to do the sex:/ 1.32 MB PNG 11/08/22(Tue) 19:34:29 No.70913465 Boys are so awkward dude :*) >be me >know a boy for a year or two that i met i high school >things get a bit tense between us and we do some sexting and talk abt doing stuff with eachother >be today >he invites me to come over and implies we would do something >i sit on his bed >he doesnt make any moves >leans his head on my shoulder >plzgodstop >he just keeps staring at me and occasionally sitting closer to me >still doesnt make a move >starts watching tiktoks >leave and go home Was he just being a gentleman or is he just super autistic, its like that hard, rub my thigh, go in for a kiss, compliment me, get on top of me. Jesus chirst im never gonna try to have sex again...

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Anon is stoic | /r/Greentext

Marcus Aurelius: "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." Marcus Aurelius 2022: @trad_west Anonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy. @trad_memes_
Marcus Aurelius: "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." Marcus Aurelius 2022: @trad_west Anonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy. @trad_memes_

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Anon don't understand economy. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 83 KB JPG 11/28/18 (Wed)18:37:23 No.786057786 >be me >go on Reddit >see that a post has gold and silver >wot.jpg >ffw a few weeks >see a post that made me laugh >click on button to give gold >a menu comes up to buy gold >confusion.jpg >click on buy gold >asks for a payment method >what the f--- >some f------ actually spend money to give a medal to posts and comments that they enjoy >mfw
Anonymous 83 KB JPG 11/28/18 (Wed)18:37:23 No.786057786 >be me >go on Reddit >see that a post has gold and silver >wot.jpg >ffw a few weeks >see a post that made me laugh >click on button to give gold >a menu comes up to buy gold >confusion.jpg >click on buy gold >asks for a payment method >what the f--- >some f------ actually spend money to give a medal to posts and comments that they enjoy >mfw

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Thank you Allah | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 120 KB JPG >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 120 KB JPG >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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anon is ready to settle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/22(Tue)12:24:43 No.70909471 Elizabeth 31 Recently Active 1667938890941545.jpg 441 KB JPG >alright i had my fun in my late teens and entire 20s, time to settle down >where are all the good men at?!
Anonymous 11/08/22(Tue)12:24:43 No.70909471 Elizabeth 31 Recently Active 1667938890941545.jpg 441 KB JPG >alright i had my fun in my late teens and entire 20s, time to settle down >where are all the good men at?!

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Anon exposes a reddit mod. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous r/ProveTheIncelWrong. Posted by u/AdvocateDoogy The Advocate 5 days ago So, you think you have me figured out? 11/08/22 (Tue)23:45:54 No.70914696 Everybody's quick to call me a groomer, I've noticed. An incel shows you a screenshot of one of my comments (taken out of context, something incels certainly love to do, see the blackpill theories), and all of a sudden you believe them. BEATLES Posted by u/Kinda Done03 06 days ago -sigh- Hear ye, hear ye! Hello everyone. It came to attention recently that our own mod was/is grooming young girls. He has been removed and banned from this sub permanently. As a victim of grooming myself I will not let this stand. If you or someone you suspect is being groomed call CPS in your area and tell a trusted adult. Please do not fall for the flattery or talks these predators do. 167 KB PNG >main mod of r/IncelTear >also founded r/Prove ThelncelWrong >spend all day literally obsessed with incels >ends up being a groomer p--- added bonus >this was called out much earlier and brought to ITS attention, ironically by incels, but was initially dismissed because they wanted to cover for their own for so long average reddit mod moment
Anonymous r/ProveTheIncelWrong. Posted by u/AdvocateDoogy The Advocate 5 days ago So, you think you have me figured out? 11/08/22 (Tue)23:45:54 No.70914696 Everybody's quick to call me a groomer, I've noticed. An incel shows you a screenshot of one of my comments (taken out of context, something incels certainly love to do, see the blackpill theories), and all of a sudden you believe them. BEATLES Posted by u/Kinda Done03 06 days ago -sigh- Hear ye, hear ye! Hello everyone. It came to attention recently that our own mod was/is grooming young girls. He has been removed and banned from this sub permanently. As a victim of grooming myself I will not let this stand. If you or someone you suspect is being groomed call CPS in your area and tell a trusted adult. Please do not fall for the flattery or talks these predators do. 167 KB PNG >main mod of r/IncelTear >also founded r/Prove ThelncelWrong >spend all day literally obsessed with incels >ends up being a groomer p--- added bonus >this was called out much earlier and brought to ITS attention, ironically by incels, but was initially dismissed because they wanted to cover for their own for so long average reddit mod moment

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femanon is a mechanic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 154 KB JPG 11/08/22(Tue)12:41:47 No.70907544 >work at a auto repair shop >guy comes in with a very specific old car >says he usually does his own repairs but this was a tricky issue >start fixing it, he asks me to explain it so he can learn >walk him through the process, he comes up next to me >we're pressed together. kinda nice >mentions i'm a better mechanic than him, i laugh and agree because i can see his questionable craftsmanship through the whole machine >after i finish, he mentions he has a project bike at his house he needs help with, offers to pay me extra to do a house call >show up the next night, help him fix the bike >he offers to let me ride it after all my hard work >he gets on behind me, wraps his arms around my waist >pressed together. kinda nice. >i drive around for a bit, he offers to drive >we swap, me wrapped around him >he guns it >i shout he's a better driver than me >he laughs and agrees >ffw three years, we're about to have our second child >>this will never happen i think my habit of daydreaming is beginning to cast a terribly melancholic shadow over my daily life. 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 154 KB JPG 11/08/22(Tue)12:41:47 No.70907544 >work at a auto repair shop >guy comes in with a very specific old car >says he usually does his own repairs but this was a tricky issue >start fixing it, he asks me to explain it so he can learn >walk him through the process, he comes up next to me >we're pressed together. kinda nice >mentions i'm a better mechanic than him, i laugh and agree because i can see his questionable craftsmanship through the whole machine >after i finish, he mentions he has a project bike at his house he needs help with, offers to pay me extra to do a house call >show up the next night, help him fix the bike >he offers to let me ride it after all my hard work >he gets on behind me, wraps his arms around my waist >pressed together. kinda nice. >i drive around for a bit, he offers to drive >we swap, me wrapped around him >he guns it >i shout he's a better driver than me >he laughs and agrees >ffw three years, we're about to have our second child >>this will never happen i think my habit of daydreaming is beginning to cast a terribly melancholic shadow over my daily life. 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anons argue | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Z/6fH2x/ 26 KB JPG 02/19/18(Mon)07:42:29 Alex went to school and got shot dead. How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? No.161082716 Anonymous (ID: WTOe2XN5 02/19/18(Mon)07:45:05 No.161082898 >>161082716 (OP) # >How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? I'm pretty confident Alex won't be shot dead again, so I think we have this one covered. >>161083006 # >>161086083 # >>161086843 # >>161086991 #
Anonymous (ID: Z/6fH2x/ 26 KB JPG 02/19/18(Mon)07:42:29 Alex went to school and got shot dead. How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? No.161082716 Anonymous (ID: WTOe2XN5 02/19/18(Mon)07:45:05 No.161082898 >>161082716 (OP) # >How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? I'm pretty confident Alex won't be shot dead again, so I think we have this one covered. >>161083006 # >>161086083 # >>161086843 # >>161086991 #

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Well then.. | /r/Greentext

Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KiB 404x512 www. >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up
Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KiB 404x512 www. >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up

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Brilliant idea from anon. Do you agree with anon? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 20 148 KB JPG 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?
: Anonymous 20 148 KB JPG 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?

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Anon is crying for help | /r/Greentext

C04E14F0-99C2-449E-BE39-2AE29E45F60D.jpg 243 KB JPG >be me >reclusive and antisocial >has a good paying job >do my job very well and efficiently due to avoiding people and wasting time on socializing >boss books me a professional training abroad where i have to go for a full week >company is covering everything >anxiety because i hate leaving home and traveling >look up the training subject >"social skills and communication" >F---.WAV I'm in constant state of high anxiety and panic attacks Help..
C04E14F0-99C2-449E-BE39-2AE29E45F60D.jpg 243 KB JPG >be me >reclusive and antisocial >has a good paying job >do my job very well and efficiently due to avoiding people and wasting time on socializing >boss books me a professional training abroad where i have to go for a full week >company is covering everything >anxiety because i hate leaving home and traveling >look up the training subject >"social skills and communication" >F---.WAV I'm in constant state of high anxiety and panic attacks Help..

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Anon evades the law. | /r/Greentext

>be me >be 22 >get pulled over for speeding >tell officer that I don't have my license >officer asks for my vehicle registration papers >tell him I don't have any because I stole the car and murdered the owner and his remains are in the trunk 42 KB JPG >officer calls for backup >5 minutes later a senior officer yells at me to step out of my car >they search my car and find nothing >senior officer asks me for my drivers license and registration papers >give them to him >senior officer tells me other officer said that I stole the car and murdered the owner >"betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too" >mfw I successfully evaded a speeding ticket
>be me >be 22 >get pulled over for speeding >tell officer that I don't have my license >officer asks for my vehicle registration papers >tell him I don't have any because I stole the car and murdered the owner and his remains are in the trunk 42 KB JPG >officer calls for backup >5 minutes later a senior officer yells at me to step out of my car >they search my car and find nothing >senior officer asks me for my drivers license and registration papers >give them to him >senior officer tells me other officer said that I stole the car and murdered the owner >"betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too" >mfw I successfully evaded a speeding ticket

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Anon is sad AF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)18:38:40 >Having a gender norm lesson in school No.48926795 >Supposed to write about how boys are and how girls are up on the wall >Girls start writing empowering s--- on their wall, while smearing 35 KB JPG the boys >Boys are trash >Boys f--- around >Boys are dumb >On and on >I write "Boys are stoic" on the wall to prove a point >One writes "Boys are disposable" while giggling >The girls start laughing That's just f------ cruel.
: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)18:38:40 >Having a gender norm lesson in school No.48926795 >Supposed to write about how boys are and how girls are up on the wall >Girls start writing empowering s--- on their wall, while smearing 35 KB JPG the boys >Boys are trash >Boys f--- around >Boys are dumb >On and on >I write "Boys are stoic" on the wall to prove a point >One writes "Boys are disposable" while giggling >The girls start laughing That's just f------ cruel.

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Anon Gets Fit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/22(Tue)09:32:40 No.68893486 130783643800120110725-22047-1euk606.jpg 25 KB JPG >be me >get fit >went from 0 girls hitting on me to having literal fat goblins hitting on me Is it all about the face after all huh?
: Anonymous 11/08/22(Tue)09:32:40 No.68893486 130783643800120110725-22047-1euk606.jpg 25 KB JPG >be me >get fit >went from 0 girls hitting on me to having literal fat goblins hitting on me Is it all about the face after all huh?

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anon is a bear | /r/Greentext

: Bear 11/05/22(Sat) 08:32:25 No.70866057 ADN.COM Bear breaks into Colorado house, plays the piano but not very well 20221104_113622.jpg 83 KB JPG canary SHARE >be me, bear >break into house >see a piano and decide to try using it >don't notice the security camera >it's uploaded online and everyone laughs at me >mfw
: Bear 11/05/22(Sat) 08:32:25 No.70866057 ADN.COM Bear breaks into Colorado house, plays the piano but not very well 20221104_113622.jpg 83 KB JPG canary SHARE >be me, bear >break into house >see a piano and decide to try using it >don't notice the security camera >it's uploaded online and everyone laughs at me >mfw

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