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Anon tells the story of Seth the Tard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: f30Q+c1j) 06/13/12(Wed)03:27:18 No.405850895 >Be in fifth grade. >Mega tard named Seth is in my class >He f------ farts all the god damned time. >Ohgodkillmesoidon'thavetoendureitanylonger.jpg >One day ten minutes before PE >Seth walks up to my friends and I hanging around outside. >"Pass gas." >allmywhat.jpg >He shoves his hands down his pants, pulls out handfuls of putrid s---, flings them at us. >We flip the f--- out. >Huge mound of human s--- hits my friend >I flip out, had enough of human s--- being flung around. >Punch him in the face as hard as I can. >Bloody nose. >Starts screaming bloody murder. >PE teacher comes over, he says I just punched him in the face for no reason. >I point at my s--- covered friend, "Ma'am, he was literally throwing his s--- at us." >"DID YOU JUST SAY THE, 'S' WORD?" >"Uhm, my shirt is covered in poop..."-My friend. >"WE'RE GOING TO THE OFFICE!" >Get in trouble, my parents called. Almost expelled from school.. >I hate tards.
Anonymous (ID: f30Q+c1j) 06/13/12(Wed)03:27:18 No.405850895 >Be in fifth grade. >Mega tard named Seth is in my class >He f------ farts all the god damned time. >Ohgodkillmesoidon'thavetoendureitanylonger.jpg >One day ten minutes before PE >Seth walks up to my friends and I hanging around outside. >"Pass gas." >allmywhat.jpg >He shoves his hands down his pants, pulls out handfuls of putrid s---, flings them at us. >We flip the f--- out. >Huge mound of human s--- hits my friend >I flip out, had enough of human s--- being flung around. >Punch him in the face as hard as I can. >Bloody nose. >Starts screaming bloody murder. >PE teacher comes over, he says I just punched him in the face for no reason. >I point at my s--- covered friend, "Ma'am, he was literally throwing his s--- at us." >"DID YOU JUST SAY THE, 'S' WORD?" >"Uhm, my shirt is covered in poop..."-My friend. >"WE'RE GOING TO THE OFFICE!" >Get in trouble, my parents called. Almost expelled from school.. >I hate tards.

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Anon fall asleep on his keyboard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me
Anonymous 62 KB JPG 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me

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Anon identifies himself as truecel | /r/Greentext

File: 1702866886005797.jpg (18 KB, 320x320) >> You are a fakecel if you have friends Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)17:57:00 No.76590726 >>76590818 >>76591231 >>76591302 >>76591338 >>76591418 >>76591419 >>76591591 >>76591607 I'm so f------ tired of people here claiming to be incels and then casually mentioning that they have a friend or a discord buddy. If you are able to make another human talk to you regularly you are basically a normie. You are socially competent. F--- off from this board. Just go get a girlfriend with all those social skills of yours. Why do you even come here? You have no idea what real loneliness feels like. Is it just to laugh at us? I'm f------ tired of how many people here are like this, there are no more than like 5% of truecels here. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)18:16:52 No.76590818 ► >>76590907 >>76590726 (OP) if this isn't bait then you're a despicable human being. it's nice to see people like you being alone. who the f--- are you to come here and gatekeep? drown in your own misery, you spineless f---. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)18:28:20 No.76590907 >>76591153 >>76591209 >>76591232 >>76590818 What is even remotely despicable about what I said? Why do you normies like to invade and s--- up everything? You literally have the rest of the internet to talk about how you have friends. You come here specificallty to make us truecels feel bad. The entitlement is insane Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:03:33 No.76591153 ► >>76591232 >>76590907 no don't you get it you're despicable because... you're lonely or something Neusch !!Obl0TN2+TWM 02/26/24(Mon)19:11:46 No.76591209 >>76591252 >>76590907 You are replying to a cuckold; a futile endeavour. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:13:58 No.76591231 >>76591252 >>76591398 >>76590726 (OP) So a 5'4" ugly autist is a fakecel because he has another ugly incel friend. What the f--- are you smoking, n-----? Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:14:14 No.76591232 >>76591398 >>76591438 >>76590907 >>76591153 you retards realize that having a conversation with people IRL is different from having friends on discord, right? or do i have to explain the difference to you too, mongrels? >entitlement you are not entitled to the use of this board, if you dont like the people that visit this board then get the f--- out, or get owned because you couldn't adapt. is it THAT hard to try befriending a person? even criminals have friends, if you don't have any then it's because you don't try or you're despicable, and since you seem to think you have tried then you're despicable. get a grip, the world won't stop moving because you decided to be bitter. you will be forgotten. so better get your ass moving. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:17:03 No.76591252 ► >>76591231 this thread is retarded, don't bother >>76591209 look at these tripfag retards, it's like if this board became a fiesta of people trying to be the incelest incel of them all Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:22:25 No.76591302 ► >>76590726 (OP). Holy based. The fake robots didn't like this one. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:26:11 No.76591326 ► "truecels" are as bad as leftist f------ that constantly make b------- reasons about how theyre oppressed more than another demographic Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:28:03 No.76591338 ► >>76590726 (OP) you are all actually hopeless holy f--- Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:37:06 No.76591398 >>76591585 >>76591838 >>76591911 >>76591231 >So a 5'4" ugly autist is a fakecel because he has another ugly incel friend Literally yes retard. He has enough social skills to make and keep a friend, which is a lot of social skills. >>76591232 >you retards realize that having a conversation with people IRL is different from having friends on discord, right? Not that different. It's funny that you speak as if everybody can just find a discord friend no problem. You are no different from Chad telling people "Just get a girlfriend bro, it's so easy" The gap between having a friend and having a girlfriend is much smaller than the gap between having no friends and having a friend. So if you were able to jump the first gap and get friends then you can jump the second gap relatively easily and get a gf. Therefore, if you have friends, you are a fakecel.
File: 1702866886005797.jpg (18 KB, 320x320) >> You are a fakecel if you have friends Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)17:57:00 No.76590726 >>76590818 >>76591231 >>76591302 >>76591338 >>76591418 >>76591419 >>76591591 >>76591607 I'm so f------ tired of people here claiming to be incels and then casually mentioning that they have a friend or a discord buddy. If you are able to make another human talk to you regularly you are basically a normie. You are socially competent. F--- off from this board. Just go get a girlfriend with all those social skills of yours. Why do you even come here? You have no idea what real loneliness feels like. Is it just to laugh at us? I'm f------ tired of how many people here are like this, there are no more than like 5% of truecels here. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)18:16:52 No.76590818 ► >>76590907 >>76590726 (OP) if this isn't bait then you're a despicable human being. it's nice to see people like you being alone. who the f--- are you to come here and gatekeep? drown in your own misery, you spineless f---. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)18:28:20 No.76590907 >>76591153 >>76591209 >>76591232 >>76590818 What is even remotely despicable about what I said? Why do you normies like to invade and s--- up everything? You literally have the rest of the internet to talk about how you have friends. You come here specificallty to make us truecels feel bad. The entitlement is insane Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:03:33 No.76591153 ► >>76591232 >>76590907 no don't you get it you're despicable because... you're lonely or something Neusch !!Obl0TN2+TWM 02/26/24(Mon)19:11:46 No.76591209 >>76591252 >>76590907 You are replying to a cuckold; a futile endeavour. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:13:58 No.76591231 >>76591252 >>76591398 >>76590726 (OP) So a 5'4" ugly autist is a fakecel because he has another ugly incel friend. What the f--- are you smoking, n-----? Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:14:14 No.76591232 >>76591398 >>76591438 >>76590907 >>76591153 you retards realize that having a conversation with people IRL is different from having friends on discord, right? or do i have to explain the difference to you too, mongrels? >entitlement you are not entitled to the use of this board, if you dont like the people that visit this board then get the f--- out, or get owned because you couldn't adapt. is it THAT hard to try befriending a person? even criminals have friends, if you don't have any then it's because you don't try or you're despicable, and since you seem to think you have tried then you're despicable. get a grip, the world won't stop moving because you decided to be bitter. you will be forgotten. so better get your ass moving. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:17:03 No.76591252 ► >>76591231 this thread is retarded, don't bother >>76591209 look at these tripfag retards, it's like if this board became a fiesta of people trying to be the incelest incel of them all Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:22:25 No.76591302 ► >>76590726 (OP). Holy based. The fake robots didn't like this one. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:26:11 No.76591326 ► "truecels" are as bad as leftist f------ that constantly make b------- reasons about how theyre oppressed more than another demographic Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:28:03 No.76591338 ► >>76590726 (OP) you are all actually hopeless holy f--- Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:37:06 No.76591398 >>76591585 >>76591838 >>76591911 >>76591231 >So a 5'4" ugly autist is a fakecel because he has another ugly incel friend Literally yes retard. He has enough social skills to make and keep a friend, which is a lot of social skills. >>76591232 >you retards realize that having a conversation with people IRL is different from having friends on discord, right? Not that different. It's funny that you speak as if everybody can just find a discord friend no problem. You are no different from Chad telling people "Just get a girlfriend bro, it's so easy" The gap between having a friend and having a girlfriend is much smaller than the gap between having no friends and having a friend. So if you were able to jump the first gap and get friends then you can jump the second gap relatively easily and get a gf. Therefore, if you have friends, you are a fakecel.

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Anon doesn't get his burger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ← # Mobile The cops arrested me Dordash + 02/25/24(Sun)13:20:22 No.20240571 Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. 12:49 AM O' Can you tell the cops to deliver my burger? r Type a message... 1000016557.jpg 324 KB JPG >one place selling burgers at this hour >get an order in 5 minutes before closing >salivating Sent ļ >guy parks near a cemetery for like 15 minutes on the way here >sends this
: Anonymous ← # Mobile The cops arrested me Dordash + 02/25/24(Sun)13:20:22 No.20240571 Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. 12:49 AM O' Can you tell the cops to deliver my burger? r Type a message... 1000016557.jpg 324 KB JPG >one place selling burgers at this hour >get an order in 5 minutes before closing >salivating Sent ļ >guy parks near a cemetery for like 15 minutes on the way here >sends this

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Anon practices wizardry and witchcraft | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous Magic is power 02/25/24(Sun)10:31:16 No.914462639 >be me >wizard >see traffic jam >cast enrage on drivers >watch the mayhem as drivers I CAST POORLY CROPPED IMAGE get out of their cars and beat the s--- out of eachother 57 KB JPG >watch granny beat little timmy with an umbrella >several guys seriously hospitalized >get held responsible because I cast the spell >go to court >all the drivers and their families are there >cast it again
:Anonymous Magic is power 02/25/24(Sun)10:31:16 No.914462639 >be me >wizard >see traffic jam >cast enrage on drivers >watch the mayhem as drivers I CAST POORLY CROPPED IMAGE get out of their cars and beat the s--- out of eachother 57 KB JPG >watch granny beat little timmy with an umbrella >several guys seriously hospitalized >get held responsible because I cast the spell >go to court >all the drivers and their families are there >cast it again

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It's a good plan | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)11:21:17 No.196653628 michael.png 2.67 MB PNG >always hear about how Michael Corleone is one of the most cunning characters in film history >finally watch The Godfather expecting some galaxy brain Machiavellian s--- >his master plan was to just f------ shoot everyone he doesn't like
:Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)11:21:17 No.196653628 michael.png 2.67 MB PNG >always hear about how Michael Corleone is one of the most cunning characters in film history >finally watch The Godfather expecting some galaxy brain Machiavellian s--- >his master plan was to just f------ shoot everyone he doesn't like

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/fit/bro BOmaxxes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 44 KB JPG 02/26/24(Mon)10:47:30 No.73680216 >stopped wearing deodorant >stopped holding my farts in >haven't had to wait for a machine in 3 weeks
: Anonymous 44 KB JPG 02/26/24(Mon)10:47:30 No.73680216 >stopped wearing deodorant >stopped holding my farts in >haven't had to wait for a machine in 3 weeks

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Anon is on a roll | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous sup /b 02/26/24(Mon)05:42:52 No.914505160 IMG_0546.jpg 107 KB JPG >cant stop now... later f------
: Anonymous sup /b 02/26/24(Mon)05:42:52 No.914505160 IMG_0546.jpg 107 KB JPG >cant stop now... later f------

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Anon exhibits attention seeking behaviour | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)02:29:40 No.914497574 I once used /b/ as my personal army without asking or even saying a word... > work at a large electronics manufacturer, in product/technical support > among other duties, test and troubleshoot streaming apps on our TVs and other media devices > boss gives us his personal netflix, disney, amazon, hulu and youtube login details (he claimed them as work related expenses) > boss becomes a cocksucking a------ > check email and passwords provided by boss on other sites (facebook, hotmail, yahoo, google, linkedin) > stupid wanker uses the same login and password across everything > his personal facebook and linkedin accounts are also approved owners/admins to our company's facebook and linkedin accounts > paste the email and password along with logos for each of the sites in a jpg > post the jpg with no comment on a /b/ "shouldn't share" thread > sit back and watch the mayhem as one or more /b/tards run rampant through his and my employer accounts, changing recovery emails and passwords and basically locking him and us out of everything. >>914500987 # Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)04:00:32 No.914500987 >>914497574 # why do you paste this in every thread? this is a boring story that we all did as edgy teens at some point or other
Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)02:29:40 No.914497574 I once used /b/ as my personal army without asking or even saying a word... > work at a large electronics manufacturer, in product/technical support > among other duties, test and troubleshoot streaming apps on our TVs and other media devices > boss gives us his personal netflix, disney, amazon, hulu and youtube login details (he claimed them as work related expenses) > boss becomes a cocksucking a------ > check email and passwords provided by boss on other sites (facebook, hotmail, yahoo, google, linkedin) > stupid wanker uses the same login and password across everything > his personal facebook and linkedin accounts are also approved owners/admins to our company's facebook and linkedin accounts > paste the email and password along with logos for each of the sites in a jpg > post the jpg with no comment on a /b/ "shouldn't share" thread > sit back and watch the mayhem as one or more /b/tards run rampant through his and my employer accounts, changing recovery emails and passwords and basically locking him and us out of everything. >>914500987 # Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)04:00:32 No.914500987 >>914497574 # why do you paste this in every thread? this is a boring story that we all did as edgy teens at some point or other

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Hutus did nothing wrong you say? Go on, anon . . . | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: fa28P4/j) 02/26/24 (Mon)14:54:10 No.459863337 File: 1704624726399905.jpg (74 KB, 481x481) Anonymous 03/26/18(Mon)13:38:54 No.4362112 27 KB JPG My grandpa is a Rwandan genocide denier. I have no idea why. We live in Wales, have no connection to Rwanda and he isn't a conspiracy kind of guy in general. He has never been to Rwanda or met a Rwandan yet in his house he has pages of documents 'proving the hoax', such as a full script for the movie Hotel Rwanda with a bunch of random letters from the words highlighted showing 'the secret messages' from the director. He says that Paul Kagame doesn't exist and that 'every picture of bodies 'is clearly in Burundi' and has huge printouts of aerial photographs of Burundi to prove it. Not sure what he has against Rwanda but if you bring it up to him he calls you a 'Tutsi liar'. >>459859955 Czeched I see your glock but will stick with my sweet fuddy five.
Anonymous (ID: fa28P4/j) 02/26/24 (Mon)14:54:10 No.459863337 File: 1704624726399905.jpg (74 KB, 481x481) Anonymous 03/26/18(Mon)13:38:54 No.4362112 27 KB JPG My grandpa is a Rwandan genocide denier. I have no idea why. We live in Wales, have no connection to Rwanda and he isn't a conspiracy kind of guy in general. He has never been to Rwanda or met a Rwandan yet in his house he has pages of documents 'proving the hoax', such as a full script for the movie Hotel Rwanda with a bunch of random letters from the words highlighted showing 'the secret messages' from the director. He says that Paul Kagame doesn't exist and that 'every picture of bodies 'is clearly in Burundi' and has huge printouts of aerial photographs of Burundi to prove it. Not sure what he has against Rwanda but if you bring it up to him he calls you a 'Tutsi liar'. >>459859955 Czeched I see your glock but will stick with my sweet fuddy five.

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Awoken Giant | /r/Greentext

>Befriend this guy that's fluent in Japanese >Be Northern Irish guy that's bored >We go to Japan >Have fun sightseeing >Get left in his apartment in Sanya >Was supposed to go home like three weeks ago >Can't speak Japanese 897 KB PNG >A bunch of big scary Japanese men always hang around and start intimidating me if I go outside >Stay inside and eat what's left of the food >A middle aged Japanese women shows up and says my pal was arrested >She looks like a weird liberal artsy type >Takes me out to eat, takes to me to a Sumo match and introduces me to these filmmakers >They ask if I want to star in a film for what would be the equivalent of 5 grand >I agree to it and apparently it's a LGBT "romance" >Basically have to play a "thug" that falls in love with a Russian "trans girl" >The guy I'm staring alongside is a Russian twink/crossdresser called "Alex" >Doing normal acting scenes >One day on the set a J-- man burst into my room with a tattooed J-- woman >Made me pull down my trousers and show them my d--- >The woman started jerking me while the guy measured my d--- >After I was hard she stopped jerking and the guy just gave me the thumbs up >Had to do an STD test then I was told to f--- the Russian crossdresser >Instructed to act shocked when I "find" his c--- but then I'm supposed to "punish" him with my d--- >Then I had to do a "romantic" scene where I made slow tender love to him in a hotel >When I'm f------ this guy the older female staff are getting way too excited with their mouths all agape >One old woman starts masturbating on set >Had to do a few scenes where I topped and sucked the d--- of Korean femboy called "Hyeon" I was given an extra grand for my "skills" and a plane ticket home. No women will ever forgive me for what I did...
>Befriend this guy that's fluent in Japanese >Be Northern Irish guy that's bored >We go to Japan >Have fun sightseeing >Get left in his apartment in Sanya >Was supposed to go home like three weeks ago >Can't speak Japanese 897 KB PNG >A bunch of big scary Japanese men always hang around and start intimidating me if I go outside >Stay inside and eat what's left of the food >A middle aged Japanese women shows up and says my pal was arrested >She looks like a weird liberal artsy type >Takes me out to eat, takes to me to a Sumo match and introduces me to these filmmakers >They ask if I want to star in a film for what would be the equivalent of 5 grand >I agree to it and apparently it's a LGBT "romance" >Basically have to play a "thug" that falls in love with a Russian "trans girl" >The guy I'm staring alongside is a Russian twink/crossdresser called "Alex" >Doing normal acting scenes >One day on the set a J-- man burst into my room with a tattooed J-- woman >Made me pull down my trousers and show them my d--- >The woman started jerking me while the guy measured my d--- >After I was hard she stopped jerking and the guy just gave me the thumbs up >Had to do an STD test then I was told to f--- the Russian crossdresser >Instructed to act shocked when I "find" his c--- but then I'm supposed to "punish" him with my d--- >Then I had to do a "romantic" scene where I made slow tender love to him in a hotel >When I'm f------ this guy the older female staff are getting way too excited with their mouths all agape >One old woman starts masturbating on set >Had to do a few scenes where I topped and sucked the d--- of Korean femboy called "Hyeon" I was given an extra grand for my "skills" and a plane ticket home. No women will ever forgive me for what I did...

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Anon had to reject a girl | /r/Greentext

File: Why did it have to be you.jpg (34 KB, 473x460) When I get what I want, I don't want what I get Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)19:32:00 No.30805381 ► >Be 17 >Not a total loser, I can actually talk to girls and make them laugh and feel comfortable >Fall into the Disney romance ideology >Always feeling sad about being lonely >One day get an anonymous love letter from some girl >She writes about how she has secretly loved me for months >"Anon, I believe the sound of your laughter is the most beautiful thing in the world, I love the way your eyes shine with the sun" >Holy hell, is she the one? >Because it was an anonymous letter I thought about how it could be absolutely any kind of girl out there and I stay hopeful about it >I_hope_she's_as_beautiful_as_in_my_dreams.jpg >Days go by and I don't get any other kind of signs from her or anything >Start to feel even lonelier at the idea of love being so close yet so unreachable because I just don't know who she is >Some two weeks later I get a message from some classmate from my art class >She confesses her love for me and tells me she sent the letter >Feel absolutely devastated, this girl is ugly and chubby and I wouldn't want to be with her >I reject her >Later realize life literally threw love right to my face when I most wanted it and I said no >Professionals_have_standards.jpg >I become what I swore to destroy, I became the male counterpart to the cute girl that rejects the shy guy because he's ugly despite her feeling "lonely" >I didn't even feel bad about rejecting her, what bothered me the most is that I thought whoever sent the letter would be someone I would consider lovable which made me get not sad but mad >Go back to feeling lonely >At least I'm sure that I am very much lovable, must be a matter of time I tell myself Did I make a mistake, what do I do now? I'd say I feel even lonelier now.
File: Why did it have to be you.jpg (34 KB, 473x460) When I get what I want, I don't want what I get Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)19:32:00 No.30805381 ► >Be 17 >Not a total loser, I can actually talk to girls and make them laugh and feel comfortable >Fall into the Disney romance ideology >Always feeling sad about being lonely >One day get an anonymous love letter from some girl >She writes about how she has secretly loved me for months >"Anon, I believe the sound of your laughter is the most beautiful thing in the world, I love the way your eyes shine with the sun" >Holy hell, is she the one? >Because it was an anonymous letter I thought about how it could be absolutely any kind of girl out there and I stay hopeful about it >I_hope_she's_as_beautiful_as_in_my_dreams.jpg >Days go by and I don't get any other kind of signs from her or anything >Start to feel even lonelier at the idea of love being so close yet so unreachable because I just don't know who she is >Some two weeks later I get a message from some classmate from my art class >She confesses her love for me and tells me she sent the letter >Feel absolutely devastated, this girl is ugly and chubby and I wouldn't want to be with her >I reject her >Later realize life literally threw love right to my face when I most wanted it and I said no >Professionals_have_standards.jpg >I become what I swore to destroy, I became the male counterpart to the cute girl that rejects the shy guy because he's ugly despite her feeling "lonely" >I didn't even feel bad about rejecting her, what bothered me the most is that I thought whoever sent the letter would be someone I would consider lovable which made me get not sad but mad >Go back to feeling lonely >At least I'm sure that I am very much lovable, must be a matter of time I tell myself Did I make a mistake, what do I do now? I'd say I feel even lonelier now.

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Anon slaps his friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous big-boned friend 02/25/24(Sun)21:55:24 No.76587189 was buying a lunchbox earlier today and it reminded me of a story from back in freshman year >be me >14 yrs old >have this one friend in school whos pretty big-boned >great guy really, we're super good friends and play vidya all the time >he's like half a foot taller than me though 114 KB JPG >one day think of a funny prank >go up to him in the hallway after 3rd period >"hey what's up anon" >"hey buddy can you hold this for me" >hand him my fuzzy chewbacca lunchbox >he extends both hands out and holds it >with both hands occupied, he has no way to defend himself >i slap his left t---- with my left hand >i slap his right t---- with my right hand >the ol'one-two >they jiggle back and forth a moment >i grab my lunchbox outta his hands and run away because he'd beat my ass in a fight >laugh about it online later that night with him on discord >on call with him as i write this right now >hes still a great guy and a super good friend pic related its the lunchbox
Anonymous big-boned friend 02/25/24(Sun)21:55:24 No.76587189 was buying a lunchbox earlier today and it reminded me of a story from back in freshman year >be me >14 yrs old >have this one friend in school whos pretty big-boned >great guy really, we're super good friends and play vidya all the time >he's like half a foot taller than me though 114 KB JPG >one day think of a funny prank >go up to him in the hallway after 3rd period >"hey what's up anon" >"hey buddy can you hold this for me" >hand him my fuzzy chewbacca lunchbox >he extends both hands out and holds it >with both hands occupied, he has no way to defend himself >i slap his left t---- with my left hand >i slap his right t---- with my right hand >the ol'one-two >they jiggle back and forth a moment >i grab my lunchbox outta his hands and run away because he'd beat my ass in a fight >laugh about it online later that night with him on discord >on call with him as i write this right now >hes still a great guy and a super good friend pic related its the lunchbox

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They do look cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DREDD 02/26/24(Mon)06:01:44 No.914489719 bef40b0542f65030465163a646013186.jpg 653 KB JPG >Be media corp >Make fictional thing where fascism is satirized and show everyone how bad fascism is >Everybody ends up liking the fascists, cosplays the fascists, LARPs the fascists, identifies with the fascists >It happens every single time What did they mean by this
: Anonymous DREDD 02/26/24(Mon)06:01:44 No.914489719 bef40b0542f65030465163a646013186.jpg 653 KB JPG >Be media corp >Make fictional thing where fascism is satirized and show everyone how bad fascism is >Everybody ends up liking the fascists, cosplays the fascists, LARPs the fascists, identifies with the fascists >It happens every single time What did they mean by this

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Anon is tired of it all | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 53 KB JPG 02/25/24(Sun)16:32:37 No.76583807 >Be me >Straight >Gay s--- >Even more gay s--- >Gay s--- yet once again >Gayest piece of literature ever written >gayshit.mp3 >gayshit.mp4 >gayshit.gs(gay s---) >MFW gay s--- >Still straight Why are y'all f------ like this?
Anonymous 53 KB JPG 02/25/24(Sun)16:32:37 No.76583807 >Be me >Straight >Gay s--- >Even more gay s--- >Gay s--- yet once again >Gayest piece of literature ever written >gayshit.mp3 >gayshit.mp4 >gayshit.gs(gay s---) >MFW gay s--- >Still straight Why are y'all f------ like this?

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Anon meets up with his friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 7CNg9HeN 02/24/24(Sat)15:02:02 No.19661225 >went out to meet old friends/acquaintances >"you got a job yet anon?" >me: "uh.... not yet im searching man" "its been years already why are you still like this? you plan to be a wifeless childless otaku bro? *everyone else starts chuckling* >literally sweated so f------ hard my shirt is visibly wet >they saw that and continued to poke fun at me until they change topic about some random political s--- I cant ucknig take it anymore : Anonymous (ID: 7CNg9HeN) 145 KB JPG 02/24/24(Sat)15:02:54 No.19661227 I CANT EVEN GREEN ARROW CORRECTLY F--- FUFKC F--- F--- F--- F--- I HATE MYSELFI FUFKCUF KCUFKC F--- I HATE MY F------ SELF F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- I WILL NEVER DESERVE HAPPINESS F--- F--- F--- F--- UFKCU FKC UFKC UFKC UF9OF F--- F--- F---
: Anonymous (ID: 7CNg9HeN 02/24/24(Sat)15:02:02 No.19661225 >went out to meet old friends/acquaintances >"you got a job yet anon?" >me: "uh.... not yet im searching man" "its been years already why are you still like this? you plan to be a wifeless childless otaku bro? *everyone else starts chuckling* >literally sweated so f------ hard my shirt is visibly wet >they saw that and continued to poke fun at me until they change topic about some random political s--- I cant ucknig take it anymore : Anonymous (ID: 7CNg9HeN) 145 KB JPG 02/24/24(Sat)15:02:54 No.19661227 I CANT EVEN GREEN ARROW CORRECTLY F--- FUFKC F--- F--- F--- F--- I HATE MYSELFI FUFKCUF KCUFKC F--- I HATE MY F------ SELF F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- I WILL NEVER DESERVE HAPPINESS F--- F--- F--- F--- UFKCU FKC UFKC UFKC UF9OF F--- F--- F---

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Air Superiority | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/24(Tue)12:53:22 No.76292561 1701387226776176.png 171 KB PNG >ugly cute broken femcel girl >envision our entire lives together >says she only wants men who are put together and not broken themselves
: Anonymous 01/30/24(Tue)12:53:22 No.76292561 1701387226776176.png 171 KB PNG >ugly cute broken femcel girl >envision our entire lives together >says she only wants men who are put together and not broken themselves

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Anon forgets how valentines works | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous Help relationship advice Dawit 82 KB JPG 02/25/24(Sun)17:30:18 No.914476571 >get girlfriend >date for 3ish months >valentines day comes >she gets me shirt and a fun couples game >i didnt get her anything didnt think gifts were necessary > say ordered you a band sweatshirt dont worry it'll be here sometime next week >next week goes by >work is destroying me it is so f------ stressful >mention I plan on taking her out to dinner >completely forget I said that >weekend comes >give her band sweatshirt >visibly disappointed >we have sex >she seems out of it entire time >leaves >text me next day says Im inconsiderate >says im not thoughtful >she is kind of right about it >she asks if i think we should continue the relationship >I said yes >work is totally taking over my life leaving me emotionally drained and exhausted no emotional energy no physical energy what the f--- do I do?
:Anonymous Help relationship advice Dawit 82 KB JPG 02/25/24(Sun)17:30:18 No.914476571 >get girlfriend >date for 3ish months >valentines day comes >she gets me shirt and a fun couples game >i didnt get her anything didnt think gifts were necessary > say ordered you a band sweatshirt dont worry it'll be here sometime next week >next week goes by >work is destroying me it is so f------ stressful >mention I plan on taking her out to dinner >completely forget I said that >weekend comes >give her band sweatshirt >visibly disappointed >we have sex >she seems out of it entire time >leaves >text me next day says Im inconsiderate >says im not thoughtful >she is kind of right about it >she asks if i think we should continue the relationship >I said yes >work is totally taking over my life leaving me emotionally drained and exhausted no emotional energy no physical energy what the f--- do I do?

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Demon Apple | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 99 KB JPEG 2/25/2024, 10:40:14 AM >be me >hungry >apple in fridge >want apple.jpeg >grab apple >drop apple on ground >f---.png >pick up >wash apple >act like nothing happened >go to cut apple >only have plastic knife >ok this will work.gif No.31681527 >its working >knife too dull have to use lots of pressure >knife snaps >becomes sharper than a scalpel >oh no.txt >plastic scalpel cuts my thumb with precision >one point five inch gash.hdr >f--- this apple I wasnt hungry anyway.mp3
Anonymous 99 KB JPEG 2/25/2024, 10:40:14 AM >be me >hungry >apple in fridge >want apple.jpeg >grab apple >drop apple on ground >f---.png >pick up >wash apple >act like nothing happened >go to cut apple >only have plastic knife >ok this will work.gif No.31681527 >its working >knife too dull have to use lots of pressure >knife snaps >becomes sharper than a scalpel >oh no.txt >plastic scalpel cuts my thumb with precision >one point five inch gash.hdr >f--- this apple I wasnt hungry anyway.mp3

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Anon wants to stop keymaxxing | /r/Greentext

File: istockphoto-1325992666-612x612.jpg (23 KB, 612x408) Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)01:35:01 No.2763058 >>2763059 >>2763061 >>2763148 >>2763154 I want to open my door from either side, can I just bore a hole in the door and use a chain with two padlocks either side?? SO tired of keys Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)01:46:28 No.2763061 >>2763062 >>2763058 (OP) padlocks take keys bro, just leave it unlocked. seriously anyone who was coming in is coming in regardless of if it's locked or not. Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)05:19:49 No.2763148 ► >>2763058 (OP) Hi everyone, Lockpicking Lawyer here and what I have for you today is a f------ retard who thinks that locks are useful and can't be opened in like 30 seconds by someone with half the skills I have, not to mention that literally anyone could just break through your window and walk in. Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)11:25:34 No.2763235>>2763309 >>2763643 >>2763123 Basically all locks are easily defeated if the person attacking knows anything about defeating locks. Locks are for keeping out teenagers and opportunistic dipshits that are too stupid to learn how to shim, pick, etc and too cowardly to just smash their way in Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)15:26:30 No.2763309 ► >>2763235 >keeping out opportunistic dipshits and stupid cowards So 90% of thieves. 5 Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)01:48:32 No.2763062 >>2763123 File: 71EYTWJVD+L_AC_UF894 100().jpg (72 KB, 894x661) >>2763061 >padlocks take keys bro Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)04:17:22 No.2763123 ► >>2763235 >>2763062 I'm pretty sure these are easily defeated. Regardless, burning to death choking on cyanide fumes and smoke sounds less than based. 6 7 3 1 CO >>2763235 >Basically all locks are easily defea- 2 Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)03:59:05 No.2763643 ► File: Security.jpg (38 KB, 640x607) 8
File: istockphoto-1325992666-612x612.jpg (23 KB, 612x408) Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)01:35:01 No.2763058 >>2763059 >>2763061 >>2763148 >>2763154 I want to open my door from either side, can I just bore a hole in the door and use a chain with two padlocks either side?? SO tired of keys Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)01:46:28 No.2763061 >>2763062 >>2763058 (OP) padlocks take keys bro, just leave it unlocked. seriously anyone who was coming in is coming in regardless of if it's locked or not. Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)05:19:49 No.2763148 ► >>2763058 (OP) Hi everyone, Lockpicking Lawyer here and what I have for you today is a f------ retard who thinks that locks are useful and can't be opened in like 30 seconds by someone with half the skills I have, not to mention that literally anyone could just break through your window and walk in. Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)11:25:34 No.2763235>>2763309 >>2763643 >>2763123 Basically all locks are easily defeated if the person attacking knows anything about defeating locks. Locks are for keeping out teenagers and opportunistic dipshits that are too stupid to learn how to shim, pick, etc and too cowardly to just smash their way in Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)15:26:30 No.2763309 ► >>2763235 >keeping out opportunistic dipshits and stupid cowards So 90% of thieves. 5 Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)01:48:32 No.2763062 >>2763123 File: 71EYTWJVD+L_AC_UF894 100().jpg (72 KB, 894x661) >>2763061 >padlocks take keys bro Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)04:17:22 No.2763123 ► >>2763235 >>2763062 I'm pretty sure these are easily defeated. Regardless, burning to death choking on cyanide fumes and smoke sounds less than based. 6 7 3 1 CO >>2763235 >Basically all locks are easily defea- 2 Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)03:59:05 No.2763643 ► File: Security.jpg (38 KB, 640x607) 8

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