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Anon has a great mother | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)18:48:52 No. 45089266 File: 571.png (81 KB, 658x901) >>45089296 >go to hug mum >she dabs on me instead mummy no
O Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)18:48:52 No. 45089266 File: 571.png (81 KB, 658x901) >>45089296 >go to hug mum >she dabs on me instead mummy no

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Anon ruins a song | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)20:52:56 No.63981508 > be me > 2 weeks ago > open youtube tu put my music while doing homework > put my favorite song > almost a million views, not very 10 KB JPG famous > even memorized most of the top comments > be me today > puts fav song on youtube > millions of views and thousands of new comments > tf.mp4 > most people aiming for a specific part of the song > "Omg who else came here from @yourmom69" or some s--- > mfw when I realize it became famous on tik tok > not even the full song, just a 8 seconds clip of it I hate that song now.
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)20:52:56 No.63981508 > be me > 2 weeks ago > open youtube tu put my music while doing homework > put my favorite song > almost a million views, not very 10 KB JPG famous > even memorized most of the top comments > be me today > puts fav song on youtube > millions of views and thousands of new comments > tf.mp4 > most people aiming for a specific part of the song > "Omg who else came here from @yourmom69" or some s--- > mfw when I realize it became famous on tik tok > not even the full song, just a 8 seconds clip of it I hate that song now.

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Anon got pregnant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/27/17(Mon)17:59:00 No.752218163 >>752218266 >>752218318 >be 14, female >going through ugly teen phase >gaining weight like a champ >walking home with a friend >stupid bitch history teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom >really need to pee >oh f--- >literally p----- EVERYWHERE >friend looks confused as s--- >fuckfuckfuck >"uhhh.. oh S---, my water broke?" >thought my recent weight gain would support this >actually works >friend is freaking out whilst I claim being able to get home to get my mom to drive me to the hospital Couple of weeks later >f------ lie to my friend and say the baby died at birth >make a fake name for this baby I never had >luckily I'm good at fake crying a lot >beg friend to not bring it up ever again as it's "too painful" >she agrees >like it never happened to this day I'm a f------ retard
Anonymous 11/27/17(Mon)17:59:00 No.752218163 >>752218266 >>752218318 >be 14, female >going through ugly teen phase >gaining weight like a champ >walking home with a friend >stupid bitch history teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom >really need to pee >oh f--- >literally p----- EVERYWHERE >friend looks confused as s--- >fuckfuckfuck >"uhhh.. oh S---, my water broke?" >thought my recent weight gain would support this >actually works >friend is freaking out whilst I claim being able to get home to get my mom to drive me to the hospital Couple of weeks later >f------ lie to my friend and say the baby died at birth >make a fake name for this baby I never had >luckily I'm good at fake crying a lot >beg friend to not bring it up ever again as it's "too painful" >she agrees >like it never happened to this day I'm a f------ retard

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anon chills with spiderbro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)20:39:14 No.63981338 >be me >chilling in my room >windown open >pretty fat and loud fly enters my room >buzzes around for a few minutes >annoying as f--- but I'm too lazy to go chase it 14 KB JPG >suddenly it gets really loud >it flew into the web of spiderbro that lives in the corner of my room >two more minutes until the buzzing is gone for good love you spider bro. I knew it was the right thing to let you chill with me in my room.
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)20:39:14 No.63981338 >be me >chilling in my room >windown open >pretty fat and loud fly enters my room >buzzes around for a few minutes >annoying as f--- but I'm too lazy to go chase it 14 KB JPG >suddenly it gets really loud >it flew into the web of spiderbro that lives in the corner of my room >two more minutes until the buzzing is gone for good love you spider bro. I knew it was the right thing to let you chill with me in my room.

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Anon probably works at McDonald's | /r/Greentext

/b/ - Ask a guy... Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds ...
/b/ - Ask a guy... Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds ...

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Anon has high iq | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)20:45:00 No.50197127 >be me >not chad >join cuckold community >lots of girls are looking for guys they can cuck, it's their fetish 28 KB JPG >a lot of REALLY HOT chicks end up messaging me >get one to start dating me >the deal is she f---- me and is free to f--- others on the side and sometimes I have to watch >I lose my virginity to her >l immediately go no contact on her and start messaging the other girls through this community >f----- 4 chicks out of my league and it has only been 1 month since I joined. Who here /high IQ/?
: Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)20:45:00 No.50197127 >be me >not chad >join cuckold community >lots of girls are looking for guys they can cuck, it's their fetish 28 KB JPG >a lot of REALLY HOT chicks end up messaging me >get one to start dating me >the deal is she f---- me and is free to f--- others on the side and sometimes I have to watch >I lose my virginity to her >l immediately go no contact on her and start messaging the other girls through this community >f----- 4 chicks out of my league and it has only been 1 month since I joined. Who here /high IQ/?

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Anon has to fap to gay porn now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)05:36:30 No.49503680 Anonymn >autists and incels report thots to the IRS WHO REPORTED MY PREMILM SNAPCHAT TO THE IRS? IM BEING F------ AUDITED. My new hobby is reporting thots to the IRS. You con help too. For every subetantial tip, you can be fnancially rewarded httpswww.rgo/oompliance/whisteblower >Thots stop posting nudes and informant award httpswww.sgor/inaviduals/how do you report suspected ta-fraud activty Turmbir and instagram ane enpecially proftable hunting grounda. De your part to stap cyber prostnation p--- 102 KB JPG >Autists and incels have nothing to fap to anymore >Turn to gay p--- to satisfy themselves Good job retards, you're playing right into the Jew agenda.
: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)05:36:30 No.49503680 Anonymn >autists and incels report thots to the IRS WHO REPORTED MY PREMILM SNAPCHAT TO THE IRS? IM BEING F------ AUDITED. My new hobby is reporting thots to the IRS. You con help too. For every subetantial tip, you can be fnancially rewarded httpswww.rgo/oompliance/whisteblower >Thots stop posting nudes and informant award httpswww.sgor/inaviduals/how do you report suspected ta-fraud activty Turmbir and instagram ane enpecially proftable hunting grounda. De your part to stap cyber prostnation p--- 102 KB JPG >Autists and incels have nothing to fap to anymore >Turn to gay p--- to satisfy themselves Good job retards, you're playing right into the Jew agenda.

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Anon had a great idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)20:17:41 No.844861756 >be me >extremely constipated >tried everything >in huge amount of pain and desperate for relief >have 'great idea' >go to petco and get a gerbil 5 KB JPG >brief him on his mission >operation declog is a go >send the little fella into the cavernous deeps >godspeednibbles.bmp >a couple hours go by and i dont feel him >getting worried >mfw currently at petco to get a rescue gerbil Hold on nibbles help is on the way
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)20:17:41 No.844861756 >be me >extremely constipated >tried everything >in huge amount of pain and desperate for relief >have 'great idea' >go to petco and get a gerbil 5 KB JPG >brief him on his mission >operation declog is a go >send the little fella into the cavernous deeps >godspeednibbles.bmp >a couple hours go by and i dont feel him >getting worried >mfw currently at petco to get a rescue gerbil Hold on nibbles help is on the way

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Anon collects cool ass rocks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)09:37:17 No.28380896 >costs a few bucks >if it works, you improve your quality of life physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. >if it doesn't work, you have some cool ass rocks that makes you feel better when looking at it. Seems like a win-win to me. 476 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)09:37:17 No.28380896 >costs a few bucks >if it works, you improve your quality of life physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. >if it doesn't work, you have some cool ass rocks that makes you feel better when looking at it. Seems like a win-win to me. 476 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon is alone | /r/Greentext

>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

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Memory of water | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21 (Thu)05:48:23 No.63976770 >be me >thirsty as f--- >drink water >immediately feel sharp pains as if i had swallowed a bunch of razors >literally fall to the ground due to the pain What the f--- 127 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)05:52:34 No.63976797 >>63976770 (OP) # Did you check the water for razors before you Frank it? >>63976819 #
: Anonymous 06/03/21 (Thu)05:48:23 No.63976770 >be me >thirsty as f--- >drink water >immediately feel sharp pains as if i had swallowed a bunch of razors >literally fall to the ground due to the pain What the f--- 127 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)05:52:34 No.63976797 >>63976770 (OP) # Did you check the water for razors before you Frank it? >>63976819 #

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)03:58:18 No.855959910 perfectdate.jpg 130 KB JPG >been chatting with this girl on tinder >5/10, not thin but not fat, seems nice >probably the best i'll ever get >"let's meet up for dinner, anon! i know the best place. you'll love it." >if i'm gonna pull this off, i will have to use every fiber of my being to suppress my autism >before meeting her, i make a checklist >"don't ramble about minecraft/anime/roblox/pokemon/the star wars prequels/dogecoin" >"don't complain about having asperger's" >"don't lecture her about the jews" >we finally meet >"anon! hello there!" >"GENERAL KENOBI!" >"...what?" >"...oh, it's just...that's what general grievous says in the star wars prequels.." >"...what?" >"you'll have to excuse me, i have asperger's...i just..when i heard you say 'hello there' i had to say 'GENERAL KENOBI-" KILL DATE.EXE RESTART DATE.EXE >"anon! hello there!" >"hi! it's so great to finally meet you! i'm starving!" >"you will love the baked ziti. i order it every time i'm here!" >"i hope i can pay for it in dogecoin!" >"...do..dogecoin? what's that?" >"dogecoin is a cryptocurrency. elon musk is a big fan of dogecoin. elon musk has asperger's. have i mentioned that i have asperger's?" >"..." >"have you ever played minecraft? it kicks ass. it's like legos, but the legos are on your computer-" KILL DATE.EXE RESTART DATE.EXE >"anon! hello there!" >we both order the baked ziti >we really hit it off >"anon..do you want to go back to my place?" >successfully fight off the urge to make excited pikachu noises >we're at her place >making out >"anon, i'm so f------ horny...i want you to whisper in my ear. tell me what you want to do to me." >lean in >whisper >"hey..." >"...let me tell you about the Jews." KILL DATE.EXE RESTART DATE.EXE 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)04:02:04 No.855960109 kys
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)03:58:18 No.855959910 perfectdate.jpg 130 KB JPG >been chatting with this girl on tinder >5/10, not thin but not fat, seems nice >probably the best i'll ever get >"let's meet up for dinner, anon! i know the best place. you'll love it." >if i'm gonna pull this off, i will have to use every fiber of my being to suppress my autism >before meeting her, i make a checklist >"don't ramble about minecraft/anime/roblox/pokemon/the star wars prequels/dogecoin" >"don't complain about having asperger's" >"don't lecture her about the jews" >we finally meet >"anon! hello there!" >"GENERAL KENOBI!" >"...what?" >"...oh, it's just...that's what general grievous says in the star wars prequels.." >"...what?" >"you'll have to excuse me, i have asperger's...i just..when i heard you say 'hello there' i had to say 'GENERAL KENOBI-" KILL DATE.EXE RESTART DATE.EXE >"anon! hello there!" >"hi! it's so great to finally meet you! i'm starving!" >"you will love the baked ziti. i order it every time i'm here!" >"i hope i can pay for it in dogecoin!" >"...do..dogecoin? what's that?" >"dogecoin is a cryptocurrency. elon musk is a big fan of dogecoin. elon musk has asperger's. have i mentioned that i have asperger's?" >"..." >"have you ever played minecraft? it kicks ass. it's like legos, but the legos are on your computer-" KILL DATE.EXE RESTART DATE.EXE >"anon! hello there!" >we both order the baked ziti >we really hit it off >"anon..do you want to go back to my place?" >successfully fight off the urge to make excited pikachu noises >we're at her place >making out >"anon, i'm so f------ horny...i want you to whisper in my ear. tell me what you want to do to me." >lean in >whisper >"hey..." >"...let me tell you about the Jews." KILL DATE.EXE RESTART DATE.EXE 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)04:02:04 No.855960109 kys

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Anon's dad is Conservative | /r/Greentext

File: 02557E39-D43C-493C-B6A9-F(.).png (269 KB, 686x614) O Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)19:46:15 No.855975991 >855976047>855976082 >My conservative Italian dad thinks that it's 'less masculine' to listen to music with a female singer >l accidentally played 2 songs by Heart when we were in my car together >Now he's yelling at my mom and saying that she raised a f----- >My dad literally thinks I'm gay because of some songs that I like >l've had a gf since I was 16 What the f--- O Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)19:47:08 No.855976047 >>855975991 (OP) Lmao your dad is a repressed homosexual sorry bro Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)19:47:43 No.855976082 >>855975991 (OP) Your dad sounds pretty based tbh
File: 02557E39-D43C-493C-B6A9-F(.).png (269 KB, 686x614) O Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)19:46:15 No.855975991 >855976047>855976082 >My conservative Italian dad thinks that it's 'less masculine' to listen to music with a female singer >l accidentally played 2 songs by Heart when we were in my car together >Now he's yelling at my mom and saying that she raised a f----- >My dad literally thinks I'm gay because of some songs that I like >l've had a gf since I was 16 What the f--- O Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)19:47:08 No.855976047 >>855975991 (OP) Lmao your dad is a repressed homosexual sorry bro Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)19:47:43 No.855976082 >>855975991 (OP) Your dad sounds pretty based tbh

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Anon gets saved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like hell >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------ >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt
: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like hell >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------ >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt

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Anon is a home shitter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 790778394 Weird achievements thread >be me >never taken a s--- in school >only 5 more months until high school graduation >im going to make it 5 REPLIES O IMAGES
Anonymous 1 hour ago 790778394 Weird achievements thread >be me >never taken a s--- in school >only 5 more months until high school graduation >im going to make it 5 REPLIES O IMAGES

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Anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: +917P4PJ ) 12/13/18(Thu)08:21:13 No.196540593 Am I white? 144 KB PNG 27 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: VZWV9MDE 12/13/18(Thu)08:39:23 No.196541672 >>196540593 (OP) # did you blowtorch that nipple, what the f---.
: Anonymous (ID: +917P4PJ ) 12/13/18(Thu)08:21:13 No.196540593 Am I white? 144 KB PNG 27 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: VZWV9MDE 12/13/18(Thu)08:39:23 No.196541672 >>196540593 (OP) # did you blowtorch that nipple, what the f---.

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Anon does V-day | /r/Greentext

No.749218743 20 minutes ago JPG 14.3 KiB 395x372 Wanted to share something with you /b/ >Be me 21, very poor and broke at Uni. >Has a rich qt as gf. >She loves me, never asks for gifts. >just my company and me helping her in studies. >Life is good. >Valentines week comes and GF not even once mentions about it. >Still.. I love her and wants to impress her. >l collect all my savings and finally have enough bucks to buy something. Go to the mall. >Everything is so expensive. >Everything is out of reach. >Luckily finds a nice perfume, because she loves perfumes. >hoping she would like. >Spends the rest of money on nice gift wrap. >Left with no money even for the public transport. >Doesn't matter cuz in love. >Walks 3 miles to home. The V-Day comes. >We both chillin in my room. >I show her the gift. >She gets really excited. >Opens it up, in a hurry. >Me scared if she will like it. >She really loves it. >Hellyeah.jpeg >Starts jumping around with tears in her eyes. >Hugs me tight, >Kisses me. >We both cry, Alot! >That gift was only worth 25$ and it meant the world to her. >l would never let her go lads. >I love her. Peace 2 replies
No.749218743 20 minutes ago JPG 14.3 KiB 395x372 Wanted to share something with you /b/ >Be me 21, very poor and broke at Uni. >Has a rich qt as gf. >She loves me, never asks for gifts. >just my company and me helping her in studies. >Life is good. >Valentines week comes and GF not even once mentions about it. >Still.. I love her and wants to impress her. >l collect all my savings and finally have enough bucks to buy something. Go to the mall. >Everything is so expensive. >Everything is out of reach. >Luckily finds a nice perfume, because she loves perfumes. >hoping she would like. >Spends the rest of money on nice gift wrap. >Left with no money even for the public transport. >Doesn't matter cuz in love. >Walks 3 miles to home. The V-Day comes. >We both chillin in my room. >I show her the gift. >She gets really excited. >Opens it up, in a hurry. >Me scared if she will like it. >She really loves it. >Hellyeah.jpeg >Starts jumping around with tears in her eyes. >Hugs me tight, >Kisses me. >We both cry, Alot! >That gift was only worth 25$ and it meant the world to her. >l would never let her go lads. >I love her. Peace 2 replies

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Anon meets Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i willt each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!
: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i willt each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!

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Anon Feels Loved | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48471330 1 t sitten 0.. >be me >lonely >have cat >find out cats like back scratches >give cat back scratches >cat loves it >cat now follows me around and I give the good scratch >I love cat >cat loves me 37,5 kB JPG >I feel loved >not lonely >yes
Anonymous | 48471330 1 t sitten 0.. >be me >lonely >have cat >find out cats like back scratches >give cat back scratches >cat loves it >cat now follows me around and I give the good scratch >I love cat >cat loves me 37,5 kB JPG >I feel loved >not lonely >yes

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Anon gets roasted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/21(Wed)15:23:10 No.855914316 190 15 STICKS OF GUM. 15 OPPORTUNITIES TO CONNECT. IMG_20210602_151936_01.jpg 881 KB JPG Do all of these people also have 15 chromosomes? This is some of the worst artwork I've ever seen. They all look retarded. : Anonymous 06/02/21(Wed)15:24:35 No.855914394 >>855914316 (OP) # turn your monitor on >>855914448 # : Anonymous 06/02/21(Wed)15:25:42 No.855914448 >>855914394 # Smooth one f-----
: Anonymous 06/02/21(Wed)15:23:10 No.855914316 190 15 STICKS OF GUM. 15 OPPORTUNITIES TO CONNECT. IMG_20210602_151936_01.jpg 881 KB JPG Do all of these people also have 15 chromosomes? This is some of the worst artwork I've ever seen. They all look retarded. : Anonymous 06/02/21(Wed)15:24:35 No.855914394 >>855914316 (OP) # turn your monitor on >>855914448 # : Anonymous 06/02/21(Wed)15:25:42 No.855914448 >>855914394 # Smooth one f-----

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