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Anon poops at work | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [O Auto] File: flat,750x,075,f-pad,750x1(..).jpg (81 KB, 750x1000) O Anonymous 09/10/21(Fri)16:30:55 No.65328045 >Be at work yesterday >Taking a s--- >Get butt naked like I always do when I take a dump >Mid s--- the door opens >It's a Stacy >Forgot to lock the door >Unisex bathroom >She screams and slams the door shut >Later get called to HR >They ask me why I was naked >Tell them that's what I've always done when I s--- >Argument ensues >"The work environment is no place to be naked" >Tell them I don't care and that I refuse to stop >She pauses >Eventually says 'okay' after my long rant about how it's more comfortable >See Stacy later >Walk past her with my nose in the air like she always does to me Is this what being Chad feels like?
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [O Auto] File: flat,750x,075,f-pad,750x1(..).jpg (81 KB, 750x1000) O Anonymous 09/10/21(Fri)16:30:55 No.65328045 >Be at work yesterday >Taking a s--- >Get butt naked like I always do when I take a dump >Mid s--- the door opens >It's a Stacy >Forgot to lock the door >Unisex bathroom >She screams and slams the door shut >Later get called to HR >They ask me why I was naked >Tell them that's what I've always done when I s--- >Argument ensues >"The work environment is no place to be naked" >Tell them I don't care and that I refuse to stop >She pauses >Eventually says 'okay' after my long rant about how it's more comfortable >See Stacy later >Walk past her with my nose in the air like she always does to me Is this what being Chad feels like?

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Anon is an assistant manager | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)19:29:08 No.62522472 >be me, young assistant manager at job >busiest day of the week, an hour before the busiest hour >female coworker comes up to me, tells me that she wants to go home 60 KB JPG early >"w-- why its literally the busiest day and we are short-staffed during rush hour, we need you" >offer her easiest position for the day if she's feeling unwell, she literally just has to check people's ticket >she flies off the rail about how she has period cramps and shes in a bad mood blah blah woman bitching >lm super p----- off rn and realize she would just be a liability if she got kept today >send her home, recommend shift cut to the general manager >ffw she posts herself at a party later on instagram Holy f--- women are useless. This isn't the first woman who has had an absolute breakdown at work because she was on her period either
: Anonymous 02/27/21(Sat)19:29:08 No.62522472 >be me, young assistant manager at job >busiest day of the week, an hour before the busiest hour >female coworker comes up to me, tells me that she wants to go home 60 KB JPG early >"w-- why its literally the busiest day and we are short-staffed during rush hour, we need you" >offer her easiest position for the day if she's feeling unwell, she literally just has to check people's ticket >she flies off the rail about how she has period cramps and shes in a bad mood blah blah woman bitching >lm super p----- off rn and realize she would just be a liability if she got kept today >send her home, recommend shift cut to the general manager >ffw she posts herself at a party later on instagram Holy f--- women are useless. This isn't the first woman who has had an absolute breakdown at work because she was on her period either

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

>be me >around 13, never masturbated before >Had looked at pron, just couldn't nut because wasn't aroused >me and my friend send each other weird images all the time cause it's funny >sends me a pornhub thumbnail 59 KB JPG >"farting down my bf's throat while gaming" or something >laugh my ass off Curious.png >look it up and watch it >mfw instant r----------- >mfw fart fetish ever since
>be me >around 13, never masturbated before >Had looked at pron, just couldn't nut because wasn't aroused >me and my friend send each other weird images all the time cause it's funny >sends me a pornhub thumbnail 59 KB JPG >"farting down my bf's throat while gaming" or something >laugh my ass off Curious.png >look it up and watch it >mfw instant r----------- >mfw fart fetish ever since

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Anon exercising his small talk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/10/21(Fri)16:23:17 No.65327552 >At work, dinner shift >Coworker (female) is next to me, rolling potato into balls to make gnocchi >Try to compliment her >'Nice balls' 50 KB JPG >Mfw
: Anonymous 09/10/21(Fri)16:23:17 No.65327552 >At work, dinner shift >Coworker (female) is next to me, rolling potato into balls to make gnocchi >Try to compliment her >'Nice balls' 50 KB JPG >Mfw

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Anon can‘t sing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)22:03:00 No.862771373 >ohhhhh >all of my friends are girls who have boyfriends >they don't want me they have a boyfriend 281 KB PNG >im so lonely somebody end me >its painful talking to them >they love talking about them >all of my friends are girls who have boyfriends >i suck at singing >please end me 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)22:03:00 No.862771373 >ohhhhh >all of my friends are girls who have boyfriends >they don't want me they have a boyfriend 281 KB PNG >im so lonely somebody end me >its painful talking to them >they love talking about them >all of my friends are girls who have boyfriends >i suck at singing >please end me 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Unused Benefits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)01:50:32 No.862729873 Regrets thread? Regrets thread SUFFER >be me 29 >working at a grocery store >meet a cute petite 18 year old mexican girl >after talking for a few days at work exchange numbers and hang out a couple 64 KB JPG of times outside of work >almost out of the blue asks how i'd feel if she wanted a fwb relationship >says she got out of a bad relationship and just wants sex for the time being >tell her i'm in and we keep texting and hang out a few more times >too nervous to ever invite her to my place and whenever the topic is brought up i get really awkward about it >after a month she barely talks to me >find out later she moved on to f------ another guy at work It's been 2 years since then and the whole thing haunts me. I'll never in my life again ever have that kind of option it makes me hate myself more.
: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)01:50:32 No.862729873 Regrets thread? Regrets thread SUFFER >be me 29 >working at a grocery store >meet a cute petite 18 year old mexican girl >after talking for a few days at work exchange numbers and hang out a couple 64 KB JPG of times outside of work >almost out of the blue asks how i'd feel if she wanted a fwb relationship >says she got out of a bad relationship and just wants sex for the time being >tell her i'm in and we keep texting and hang out a few more times >too nervous to ever invite her to my place and whenever the topic is brought up i get really awkward about it >after a month she barely talks to me >find out later she moved on to f------ another guy at work It's been 2 years since then and the whole thing haunts me. I'll never in my life again ever have that kind of option it makes me hate myself more.

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Angel on my shoulder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)12:15:55 No.63198165 >>63188193 (OP)# >Be me >Going for a run (cardio is the fundaments of all athleticism) >Along the way another runner is coming in my direction >Older man, chubby, trying his best and sweating his ass off >As he passes me, shout at him, clap my hands a few times >CMON DOING GOOD >He smiles and starts to run a bit harder I hope it made him happy and makes him go for runs more often
: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)12:15:55 No.63198165 >>63188193 (OP)# >Be me >Going for a run (cardio is the fundaments of all athleticism) >Along the way another runner is coming in my direction >Older man, chubby, trying his best and sweating his ass off >As he passes me, shout at him, clap my hands a few times >CMON DOING GOOD >He smiles and starts to run a bit harder I hope it made him happy and makes him go for runs more often

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E = McD² proof | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)05:34:06 No.63223371 >Female Friend claims she can't lose weight despite eating like 1000 kcal below her TDEE >F------ jump in telling her it's for sure her Hormones 26 KB JPG >Tell her how it is, she's almost certainly eating more than she thinks >Mention a f------ meal she had a few days ago that by itself was at least 1.5k kcal >Now l'm the a------ Whatever, I'll stop trying to help people trying to lose weight, it's always the same delusional b-------.
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)05:34:06 No.63223371 >Female Friend claims she can't lose weight despite eating like 1000 kcal below her TDEE >F------ jump in telling her it's for sure her Hormones 26 KB JPG >Tell her how it is, she's almost certainly eating more than she thinks >Mention a f------ meal she had a few days ago that by itself was at least 1.5k kcal >Now l'm the a------ Whatever, I'll stop trying to help people trying to lose weight, it's always the same delusional b-------.

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Anon likes water | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/18(Mon)13:33:13 No.42997879 ITT: Water appreciation thread >Be me >Feeling sick >Think drinking coffee will make me warmer and better 72 KB JPG >IAmStupid.jpg >Feel like am gonna f------ faint and dizzy as hell >Search up "Does drinks that will stop dizziness" >Water.exe >OH YES >Run down to vending machine >Gets water and drinks it down like a ethiopian woman after a b------ >Feel better >Thanks water, Thank you :)
: Anonymous 02/05/18(Mon)13:33:13 No.42997879 ITT: Water appreciation thread >Be me >Feeling sick >Think drinking coffee will make me warmer and better 72 KB JPG >IAmStupid.jpg >Feel like am gonna f------ faint and dizzy as hell >Search up "Does drinks that will stop dizziness" >Water.exe >OH YES >Run down to vending machine >Gets water and drinks it down like a ethiopian woman after a b------ >Feel better >Thanks water, Thank you :)

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Anon gets friendzoned | /r/Greentext

>go on a date with a girl >goes fine, its awkward occasionally, but its not the worst first date ive ever had Oh wish i coud be a cat. >end of the night I walk her to the door, we make out for a while, she tells me she wants to see me again 52 KB JPG and seems really excited about it >this morning wake up to a text saying that "im a really nice guy" and that "she loves hanging out with me" but we should just be friends because she isnt looking for anything serious and doesnt want me to get hurt Dating is a f------ nightmare, why the f--- do I subject myself to this s---.
>go on a date with a girl >goes fine, its awkward occasionally, but its not the worst first date ive ever had Oh wish i coud be a cat. >end of the night I walk her to the door, we make out for a while, she tells me she wants to see me again 52 KB JPG and seems really excited about it >this morning wake up to a text saying that "im a really nice guy" and that "she loves hanging out with me" but we should just be friends because she isnt looking for anything serious and doesnt want me to get hurt Dating is a f------ nightmare, why the f--- do I subject myself to this s---.

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Anon needs to shit | /r/Greentext


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The reich stuff | /r/Greentext


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Anon uses Linux | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:04:14 No.63329932 >and heres our sons room, you can see hes different from the others 196 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:05:33 No.63329945 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:14:57 No.63330006 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:27:57 No.63330507 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:52:39 No.63330666 >>63329932 (OP) # >Oh, good morning, dear sir or madam. Do you have a moment to talk about open source software? 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:04:14 No.63329932 >and heres our sons room, you can see hes different from the others 196 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:05:33 No.63329945 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:14:57 No.63330006 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:27:57 No.63330507 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:52:39 No.63330666 >>63329932 (OP) # >Oh, good morning, dear sir or madam. Do you have a moment to talk about open source software? 40 KB JPG

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Water bird | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)08:36:11 No.63421833 >have the same reoccurring dream 1-2 times a week >always with my old high school class for some sort of class reunion 22 KB JPG >usually at the beach or the high school's pool >everyone decides to go into the water for a swim >become terrified of my ex-classmates seeing my skeletal figure without a shirt on >start frantically pacing around to regain my composure >finally decide to just bite the bullet and enjoy my time with my classmates >change into swimsuit >head into the pool >the second I enter the room everyone stops what they're doing and turns to me >panic >everyone, including the lifeguards, start pointing and laughing at my body >wakeup covered in sweat >realize I have a subconscious fear of people seeing my disgusting body I'M STILL A DYEL BUT I THOUGHT LIFTING WOULD MAKE IT STOP AAAAAAAH
: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)08:36:11 No.63421833 >have the same reoccurring dream 1-2 times a week >always with my old high school class for some sort of class reunion 22 KB JPG >usually at the beach or the high school's pool >everyone decides to go into the water for a swim >become terrified of my ex-classmates seeing my skeletal figure without a shirt on >start frantically pacing around to regain my composure >finally decide to just bite the bullet and enjoy my time with my classmates >change into swimsuit >head into the pool >the second I enter the room everyone stops what they're doing and turns to me >panic >everyone, including the lifeguards, start pointing and laughing at my body >wakeup covered in sweat >realize I have a subconscious fear of people seeing my disgusting body I'M STILL A DYEL BUT I THOUGHT LIFTING WOULD MAKE IT STOP AAAAAAAH

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

>be me >american >go outside >get shot by black guy >wale up in hospital Ohno.jpg 482 KB JPG >have to sell house, car, dog, wife, both of my legs, left eyeball, right kidney, left nut, both n------, right ear and my favorite hat to pay off hospital bills >scrounge up around $13,000 >doesn't even cover cough-drop fee >mfw
>be me >american >go outside >get shot by black guy >wale up in hospital Ohno.jpg 482 KB JPG >have to sell house, car, dog, wife, both of my legs, left eyeball, right kidney, left nut, both n------, right ear and my favorite hat to pay off hospital bills >scrounge up around $13,000 >doesn't even cover cough-drop fee >mfw

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Anon gets fucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)16:58:01 No.862761451 >play Rust >get f----- daily >See you later, virgins 7 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)16:58:01 No.862761451 >play Rust >get f----- daily >See you later, virgins 7 KB JPG

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anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)11:02:35 No.82871741 169 KB JPG >implement system that hunts down pedos >invade everyone's privacy >people start switching to android >say that everyone switching to android will be suspected of being a p--- >people will be forced to stick with apple if they don't wanna get hunted down by the feds >??? >profit how does he do it?
Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)11:02:35 No.82871741 169 KB JPG >implement system that hunts down pedos >invade everyone's privacy >people start switching to android >say that everyone switching to android will be suspected of being a p--- >people will be forced to stick with apple if they don't wanna get hunted down by the feds >??? >profit how does he do it?

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Chad reveals his motivation. | /r/Greentext


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anon make a constructive criticism of modern black rappers | /r/Greentext

flat,750x1000,075,f.u2.jpg 106 KB JPG >be generic n---- rapper >brag about dealing drugs and killing people in your songs >get arrested >doesn't understand why he has been put in jail >immediatly make a song about how cops are racist when he gets out why are rappers like this ? 100
flat,750x1000,075,f.u2.jpg 106 KB JPG >be generic n---- rapper >brag about dealing drugs and killing people in your songs >get arrested >doesn't understand why he has been put in jail >immediatly make a song about how cops are racist when he gets out why are rappers like this ? 100

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Anon Has Layers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous who else Ogre here? 09/08/21(Wed)22:14:04 No.65311899 >Born with Enlarged pituitary gland >Grew to 7'3 440Lbs >Knees constantly hurt >can't wear normal clothes. >Constant looks of fear, nobody want to get close to me or talk to me 54 KB JPG >Doomed to be an outcast forver. Everyone looks at the little dwarfs and feels sad. But nobody looks at the big guy and asks if he's ok. Some times I get so angry I just want to roar at everyone when they're all Making a bunch of noise socializing. Something I can never experience. Other times I just want to cry alone.
: Anonymous who else Ogre here? 09/08/21(Wed)22:14:04 No.65311899 >Born with Enlarged pituitary gland >Grew to 7'3 440Lbs >Knees constantly hurt >can't wear normal clothes. >Constant looks of fear, nobody want to get close to me or talk to me 54 KB JPG >Doomed to be an outcast forver. Everyone looks at the little dwarfs and feels sad. But nobody looks at the big guy and asks if he's ok. Some times I get so angry I just want to roar at everyone when they're all Making a bunch of noise socializing. Something I can never experience. Other times I just want to cry alone.

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