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Anon's friend has a big dick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)23:17:55 No.66963880 >b me >le incel >roommate gave me some of his condoms in front of all our friends as a joke gift to humiliate me >just to clarify, they were the exact ones 396 KB PNG he used when he had girls over >keep them there all year >this f----- constantly brags about his d--- size >"my d---- bigger than that (object)" >"oh yeah? you shouldve seen her after she took muh d---" >literally constant >end up moving out after the lease ended cuz i thought he may be gay and coming onto me after he asked if i ever wanted to experiment with another man >2 years pass >self improvement has paid off >somehow i have seduced a girl into my bedroom >remember the condoms in my drawer >get one out >im so hard for losing my virginity i figure it will go right on >tfw the condom is too small >tfw its not just too short but too skinny >tfw im only 6 inches meaning that f----- had a microdick >ended up f------ the girl raw tho so he did me a favor in the end >send him a d--- pic "by accident" to flex >he replays the snap i have never felt more gratified than that moment 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)23:17:55 No.66963880 >b me >le incel >roommate gave me some of his condoms in front of all our friends as a joke gift to humiliate me >just to clarify, they were the exact ones 396 KB PNG he used when he had girls over >keep them there all year >this f----- constantly brags about his d--- size >"my d---- bigger than that (object)" >"oh yeah? you shouldve seen her after she took muh d---" >literally constant >end up moving out after the lease ended cuz i thought he may be gay and coming onto me after he asked if i ever wanted to experiment with another man >2 years pass >self improvement has paid off >somehow i have seduced a girl into my bedroom >remember the condoms in my drawer >get one out >im so hard for losing my virginity i figure it will go right on >tfw the condom is too small >tfw its not just too short but too skinny >tfw im only 6 inches meaning that f----- had a microdick >ended up f------ the girl raw tho so he did me a favor in the end >send him a d--- pic "by accident" to flex >he replays the snap i have never felt more gratified than that moment 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon figures it out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/21(Sun)09:52:07 No.65881340 >do an experiment >make a thread 密です。 >reply to my own post with negative replies >other replies are all negative >make a new thread but the same 201 KB JPG >again reply but this time with neutral/positive comments >replies are more civil conclusion the first post sets the tone of the discussion and you can easily manipulate other anons into doing what you want
: Anonymous 10/24/21(Sun)09:52:07 No.65881340 >do an experiment >make a thread 密です。 >reply to my own post with negative replies >other replies are all negative >make a new thread but the same 201 KB JPG >again reply but this time with neutral/positive comments >replies are more civil conclusion the first post sets the tone of the discussion and you can easily manipulate other anons into doing what you want

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Anons Super Bowl party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/19(Thu)13:04:15 No.792044467 >be me >in car with gf and her family >mom and gf want to connect Bluetooth and play music >dad gets grumpy over it >Bluetooth isn't connecting properly >dad gets angrier 49 KB JPG >mom gets angry cause he's angry >texts my gf about it >they're now texting about her dad >l'm still here >pleasedontinvolveme.mp4 >Bluetooth finally connects >rap comes on in auto play >dad gets angry and yells >gf looks like about to cry >he apologizes and she plays different song >mom still upset >tension building between them >I haven't said a word the whole ride >Imnothere.png >almost at destination >bowling for 2 hours then super bowl party >wish me luck anons
: Anonymous 02/07/19(Thu)13:04:15 No.792044467 >be me >in car with gf and her family >mom and gf want to connect Bluetooth and play music >dad gets grumpy over it >Bluetooth isn't connecting properly >dad gets angrier 49 KB JPG >mom gets angry cause he's angry >texts my gf about it >they're now texting about her dad >l'm still here >pleasedontinvolveme.mp4 >Bluetooth finally connects >rap comes on in auto play >dad gets angry and yells >gf looks like about to cry >he apologizes and she plays different song >mom still upset >tension building between them >I haven't said a word the whole ride >Imnothere.png >almost at destination >bowling for 2 hours then super bowl party >wish me luck anons

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Anon uses adblock | /r/Greentext

File: me.jpg (63 KB, 680x763) Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:46:24 No.870542169 >It looks like you're using an ad blocker. YES.
File: me.jpg (63 KB, 680x763) Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:46:24 No.870542169 >It looks like you're using an ad blocker. YES.

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Anon visits the hood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:24:30 No.66961501 >At corner store. Just passing by. >The ghetto.jpeg >l just want to buy my s--- and gtfo. >4 or 5 year old kid walks into store >None of my business.png >Kid goes up to the clerk, points at candy, and says "Candy". 25 KB JPG >"You got money, kid?" >The kid says nothing and leaves. >None of my business.zip >A few mins later the kid is back. >He has a gun with him >Walks up to clerk and points the gun at him. >"Candy Nigguh!" >w-- >Clerk laughs. >The gun is clearly fake. >Kid has a serious expression and isnt playing around. >Clerk laughs some more and gives the kid some candy. Free of charge. >w-- >I hate the hood.
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:24:30 No.66961501 >At corner store. Just passing by. >The ghetto.jpeg >l just want to buy my s--- and gtfo. >4 or 5 year old kid walks into store >None of my business.png >Kid goes up to the clerk, points at candy, and says "Candy". 25 KB JPG >"You got money, kid?" >The kid says nothing and leaves. >None of my business.zip >A few mins later the kid is back. >He has a gun with him >Walks up to clerk and points the gun at him. >"Candy Nigguh!" >w-- >Clerk laughs. >The gun is clearly fake. >Kid has a serious expression and isnt playing around. >Clerk laughs some more and gives the kid some candy. Free of charge. >w-- >I hate the hood.

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Anon catches a smuggler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Baby Turmoil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Happens all the time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)10:30:33 No.786774273 > be me > depressed > goes to coffee shop > tries to order espresso > says depresso instead 303 KB PNG how was your day anons
: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)10:30:33 No.786774273 > be me > depressed > goes to coffee shop > tries to order espresso > says depresso instead 303 KB PNG how was your day anons

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Anon goes on Reddit, again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)21:06:01 No.870510333 > go on Reddit > Post a link to a news article > Don't comment on it, add any value, just post a link with the title matching the news headline > Get thousands of upvotes and multiple people spend their money to give me an award 21 KB JPG > Their face
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)21:06:01 No.870510333 > go on Reddit > Post a link to a news article > Don't comment on it, add any value, just post a link with the title matching the news headline > Get thousands of upvotes and multiple people spend their money to give me an award 21 KB JPG > Their face

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Anon is miserable | /r/Greentext

Leftists are laughing at us. They're not afraid. They're gloating and filled with joy. The system is rigged, and all our icons are disgraced. Even Jerry Falwell Jr. is a literal cuck. The party's only future is with Cubans and Mexicans. Libshits will never let us live the past year down. Kicked off every platform, finally discovered the free market doesn't actually work. Our own party turned against us. There's no point in even voting any longer. They're not afraid: they're 27 KB JPG overjoyed. Leftists are openly laughing at us. They're doxxing us, ratting us out to coworkers, friends, family, college deans, and law enforcement, they're getting us banned from everywhere and fired from our jobs and every new social media group is just another honeypot, and the cops we thought we were defending with blue line flags are shooting us like we're brown, and all while the leftists and liberals are openly mocking us and laughing in our faces. This last year has been one hell of a ride.
Leftists are laughing at us. They're not afraid. They're gloating and filled with joy. The system is rigged, and all our icons are disgraced. Even Jerry Falwell Jr. is a literal cuck. The party's only future is with Cubans and Mexicans. Libshits will never let us live the past year down. Kicked off every platform, finally discovered the free market doesn't actually work. Our own party turned against us. There's no point in even voting any longer. They're not afraid: they're 27 KB JPG overjoyed. Leftists are openly laughing at us. They're doxxing us, ratting us out to coworkers, friends, family, college deans, and law enforcement, they're getting us banned from everywhere and fired from our jobs and every new social media group is just another honeypot, and the cops we thought we were defending with blue line flags are shooting us like we're brown, and all while the leftists and liberals are openly mocking us and laughing in our faces. This last year has been one hell of a ride.

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Anon laughs at Canada's military | /r/Greentext

Trudeau promises military intervention if Trump refuses to leave office f in "The global democratic order must be enforced," stated Trudeau at a press conference this afternoon Jim Bronskill - The Canadian Press Posted: Nov 03, 2020 4:41 PM ET Trudeau issuing the dire warning at an impromptu press conference in Ottawa (Adrian Wyld/The Canadian Press) The Liberal government is promising immediate military intervention on American soil if Donald Trump refuses to leave office after the US presidential election today. 1604526638598.jpg 62 KB JPG Oh my God please let this happen E Anonymous 11/04/20(Wed)23:00:16 No.133506: All three tanks will be rolling towards DC
Trudeau promises military intervention if Trump refuses to leave office f in "The global democratic order must be enforced," stated Trudeau at a press conference this afternoon Jim Bronskill - The Canadian Press Posted: Nov 03, 2020 4:41 PM ET Trudeau issuing the dire warning at an impromptu press conference in Ottawa (Adrian Wyld/The Canadian Press) The Liberal government is promising immediate military intervention on American soil if Donald Trump refuses to leave office after the US presidential election today. 1604526638598.jpg 62 KB JPG Oh my God please let this happen E Anonymous 11/04/20(Wed)23:00:16 No.133506: All three tanks will be rolling towards DC

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Wholesome, real, and straight... maybe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:04:18 No.775181071 > be me > 2003 or so > go to mcd while high for some nice latenight food with my best pal > we both high af >i order tendies for us to share 64 KB PNG > we share them outside looking at the dark night sky > he asks what meaning of life is > idk bro what do u think > "Apart from all the science of were we come from, i think my life is just gonna be me chillin and enjoying the good emotions i feel, just like rn when im with my best bud" > mfw i realised life is what u make of it
: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:04:18 No.775181071 > be me > 2003 or so > go to mcd while high for some nice latenight food with my best pal > we both high af >i order tendies for us to share 64 KB PNG > we share them outside looking at the dark night sky > he asks what meaning of life is > idk bro what do u think > "Apart from all the science of were we come from, i think my life is just gonna be me chillin and enjoying the good emotions i feel, just like rn when im with my best bud" > mfw i realised life is what u make of it

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Anon has no fingers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon tries to socialize | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)15:09:25 No.66956034 >stand at bus stop with same cute girl every morning for weeks >yesterday shes not there >today shes back >say to her "had to stand here all by myself yesterday, was a bit lonely" 436 KB PNG >she turns to me and I smile back >she responds "thats uh... weird" >she rolls her widened eyes and puffs her cheeks, as if shes Jim from The Office and the camera just panned in on her face >we go back to standing in silence this happened over an hour ago and i keep replaying it over and over in my head should i have pursued or did i make that right call by just shutting up i really wish id said nothing at all, f---!
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)15:09:25 No.66956034 >stand at bus stop with same cute girl every morning for weeks >yesterday shes not there >today shes back >say to her "had to stand here all by myself yesterday, was a bit lonely" 436 KB PNG >she turns to me and I smile back >she responds "thats uh... weird" >she rolls her widened eyes and puffs her cheeks, as if shes Jim from The Office and the camera just panned in on her face >we go back to standing in silence this happened over an hour ago and i keep replaying it over and over in my head should i have pursued or did i make that right call by just shutting up i really wish id said nothing at all, f---!

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"Those bastards lied to me" | /r/Greentext

No. 870510680 01/12/22(Wed)06:19:14 EtJsllQXcAAZPrZ.jpg 31 KB 360x310 >come to 4chan to look at funny hilarious characters interact with each other in charming ways >instead see a lot of gore and p--- >try to rationalize seeing a lady get hit by a car while twerking >feel bad about bad things that happen to people >get called a n----- >try to look at normal p--- afterwards but everything looks gross now >hate women slightly now What the f--- was I thinking 8 replies, 4 images No. 870510768 01/12/22(Wed)06:22:36 1638080408380.png 75 KB 296x190 >>870510680 Welcome to the family you f------ n-----.
No. 870510680 01/12/22(Wed)06:19:14 EtJsllQXcAAZPrZ.jpg 31 KB 360x310 >come to 4chan to look at funny hilarious characters interact with each other in charming ways >instead see a lot of gore and p--- >try to rationalize seeing a lady get hit by a car while twerking >feel bad about bad things that happen to people >get called a n----- >try to look at normal p--- afterwards but everything looks gross now >hate women slightly now What the f--- was I thinking 8 replies, 4 images No. 870510768 01/12/22(Wed)06:22:36 1638080408380.png 75 KB 296x190 >>870510680 Welcome to the family you f------ n-----.

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Anons retarded friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)21:58:28 No.797021790 Autistic technology stories I'll start >be me 14 at the time >maths teacher let's our class go to the computer 4 KB PNG room >fuckyeah.jpg >download and play runescape on one of the computers >friend sitting next to me starts panicking and looks over at me >his screen got unplugged >howthefuckdidyoudothat.jpg >he tells me to plug it back in for him because he does not know how >and he says do NOT look at the screen >plug it in >mfw it's f------ furry p--- >mfw it's sonic vore This is why I can't be friends with that tardI have countless stories of him and his autism
: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)21:58:28 No.797021790 Autistic technology stories I'll start >be me 14 at the time >maths teacher let's our class go to the computer 4 KB PNG room >fuckyeah.jpg >download and play runescape on one of the computers >friend sitting next to me starts panicking and looks over at me >his screen got unplugged >howthefuckdidyoudothat.jpg >he tells me to plug it back in for him because he does not know how >and he says do NOT look at the screen >plug it in >mfw it's f------ furry p--- >mfw it's sonic vore This is why I can't be friends with that tardI have countless stories of him and his autism

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