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Anon Goes to the Capital Riot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 4L6LX51S 01/07/21(Thu)05:36:19 No.300828706 4C222E75-E895-4C1C-8024-12008D0D3CA0.jpg 53 KB JPG >>300817088 (OP) # >"Mmmmm that's a mighty fine brap hog." >"If I put my head down, will anyone hear me sniff?" >"Will they even care?" >"I think she farted."
Anonymous (ID: 4L6LX51S 01/07/21(Thu)05:36:19 No.300828706 4C222E75-E895-4C1C-8024-12008D0D3CA0.jpg 53 KB JPG >>300817088 (OP) # >"Mmmmm that's a mighty fine brap hog." >"If I put my head down, will anyone hear me sniff?" >"Will they even care?" >"I think she farted."

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anon goes blind | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:26:44 No.4901415 >>4901425 >>4901509>>4901520 >>4902454 >>4907640 >>> File: frega.jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >tfw i used to read in sunlight when i was younger now i have cataracts. >tfw have to dictate my posts to my little brother. Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat) 14:02:29 No.4902454 >>4902474 >>4902650 >>4902673 >>4904173 >>4906512 >>49 >>4901415 >>>4901520 "Can you repeat that back to me please"? "Yeah, that's it. Now attach a picture of a sad frog" a-a sad frog"? "Just open the folder labeled 'frog and feels' " "W-wha... what is this? There are hundreds of them. What are these for"? # "Nevermind that. Just look for the one called 'fregg', that looks like it had a seizure and attach it." "Yes, that's perfect, you can send it now"
Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:26:44 No.4901415 >>4901425 >>4901509>>4901520 >>4902454 >>4907640 >>> File: frega.jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >tfw i used to read in sunlight when i was younger now i have cataracts. >tfw have to dictate my posts to my little brother. Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat) 14:02:29 No.4902454 >>4902474 >>4902650 >>4902673 >>4904173 >>4906512 >>49 >>4901415 >>>4901520 "Can you repeat that back to me please"? "Yeah, that's it. Now attach a picture of a sad frog" a-a sad frog"? "Just open the folder labeled 'frog and feels' " "W-wha... what is this? There are hundreds of them. What are these for"? # "Nevermind that. Just look for the one called 'fregg', that looks like it had a seizure and attach it." "Yes, that's perfect, you can send it now"

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Anon takes blue pill to stay in the matrix | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/16/22(Sat)17:27:46 No.882132533 73 KB PNG >have a s----- lonely life >will never have friends, a girlfriend, a good happy life >one day dream about having a girlfriend >she is extremely cute, after i wake up, i am both happy from the dream and sad that its over >i start dreaming about her or other girls in the next nights >also dream that i have a lot of friends, cool cars, yachts, even superpowers >start meditating before sleeping to influence my dreams >learn lucid dreaming to improve it >after a few months, i became a true dream director >i can now create my own reality in my dreams >spend up to 16 hours sleeping >at this point, my real life feels like a nightmare and my dreams like the life i deserve why havent you taken the dream pill yet anons?
Anonymous 07/16/22(Sat)17:27:46 No.882132533 73 KB PNG >have a s----- lonely life >will never have friends, a girlfriend, a good happy life >one day dream about having a girlfriend >she is extremely cute, after i wake up, i am both happy from the dream and sad that its over >i start dreaming about her or other girls in the next nights >also dream that i have a lot of friends, cool cars, yachts, even superpowers >start meditating before sleeping to influence my dreams >learn lucid dreaming to improve it >after a few months, i became a true dream director >i can now create my own reality in my dreams >spend up to 16 hours sleeping >at this point, my real life feels like a nightmare and my dreams like the life i deserve why havent you taken the dream pill yet anons?

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Anon questions his sexuality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Am I gay? I'm sickened But curious 11 KB JPG CH : Anonymous Yes. 09/02/22(Fri) 18:41:13 No.27231188 I've f----- multiple men and trannies (M-F). But I've also had sex with women. More women than men. I've only ever had LTR's with women. Am I gay? I kind of want to know in case this really is just my lot in life. 09/02/22 (Fri) 18:42:02 No.27231192 >Am I gay? >I've f----- multiple men a- Stopped right there.
Anonymous Am I gay? I'm sickened But curious 11 KB JPG CH : Anonymous Yes. 09/02/22(Fri) 18:41:13 No.27231188 I've f----- multiple men and trannies (M-F). But I've also had sex with women. More women than men. I've only ever had LTR's with women. Am I gay? I kind of want to know in case this really is just my lot in life. 09/02/22 (Fri) 18:42:02 No.27231192 >Am I gay? >I've f----- multiple men a- Stopped right there.

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anon is a zoo keeper | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 73 KB GIF 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?
Anonymous 73 KB GIF 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?

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anon cheats his way through highschool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous School 08/24/22(Wed)11:23:29 No.884460822 >be me, high school >Don't know s--- in class >Decide to download an app to cheat >The app takes me to a YouTube channel where a guy tells me answers and explains how to do the problem so I can pass the tests >I use this to get through high school Did anyone else cheat like this? 142 KB PNG : Anonymous >>884460822 (OP) # W-- are you on about? 08/24/22(Wed)11:24:42 No.884460867 : Anonymous You literally just learned.. with extra steps 08/24/22(Wed)11:24:50 No.884460873
: Anonymous School 08/24/22(Wed)11:23:29 No.884460822 >be me, high school >Don't know s--- in class >Decide to download an app to cheat >The app takes me to a YouTube channel where a guy tells me answers and explains how to do the problem so I can pass the tests >I use this to get through high school Did anyone else cheat like this? 142 KB PNG : Anonymous >>884460822 (OP) # W-- are you on about? 08/24/22(Wed)11:24:42 No.884460867 : Anonymous You literally just learned.. with extra steps 08/24/22(Wed)11:24:50 No.884460873

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Anon offends the pedos | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 108 KB PNG 09/02/22(Fri)23:02:31 No.884977263 >BUT THEY'RE JUST DRAWINGS!!!! THEY'RE NOT REAL CHILDREN!!!!!!!!
Anonymous 108 KB PNG 09/02/22(Fri)23:02:31 No.884977263 >BUT THEY'RE JUST DRAWINGS!!!! THEY'RE NOT REAL CHILDREN!!!!!!!!

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Anon simps | /r/Greentext

29 KB JPG >no anon you're totally right >everytime you donate $100 to her she thinks of you the rest of the day and no one else >no way is she getting piped down by random men she links up with on tinder like other girls no way >no way does she possibly have a chad bf with washboard abs and a huge d--- that she hides off stream because it will hurt her viewership and donations >just because there's 45,000 people watching doesn't mean she's not thinking of just you, you're a top donator Anon >she knows who you are she totally does and she definitely thinks about you all the time outside of twitch >that other guy donated $500 but she's not in it for the money Anon she's doing it so she can meet men like you >of course she's going to reach out to you one of these days Anon, just keep sending her expensive donations >you bought all her merch Anon and she knows that you did you're definitely special >you better not miss one second of her stream Anon otherwise you might miss when she pulls her t--- out just for you and risks loosing her 6 to 7 figure paying career >it's all for you Anon, just keep donating, it will happen!
29 KB JPG >no anon you're totally right >everytime you donate $100 to her she thinks of you the rest of the day and no one else >no way is she getting piped down by random men she links up with on tinder like other girls no way >no way does she possibly have a chad bf with washboard abs and a huge d--- that she hides off stream because it will hurt her viewership and donations >just because there's 45,000 people watching doesn't mean she's not thinking of just you, you're a top donator Anon >she knows who you are she totally does and she definitely thinks about you all the time outside of twitch >that other guy donated $500 but she's not in it for the money Anon she's doing it so she can meet men like you >of course she's going to reach out to you one of these days Anon, just keep sending her expensive donations >you bought all her merch Anon and she knows that you did you're definitely special >you better not miss one second of her stream Anon otherwise you might miss when she pulls her t--- out just for you and risks loosing her 6 to 7 figure paying career >it's all for you Anon, just keep donating, it will happen!

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Anon tries nofap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 53 KB JPG ever. 09/02/22(Fri)23:45:13 No.70063582 >Nofap >Day 4 >Take huge s--- >after I finish my d--- starts leaking precum This is so f------ gay, worst idea
Anonymous 53 KB JPG ever. 09/02/22(Fri)23:45:13 No.70063582 >Nofap >Day 4 >Take huge s--- >after I finish my d--- starts leaking precum This is so f------ gay, worst idea

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Anon is alone all the time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous It's better for me to be a gir(...) 09/02/22(Fri)20:21:33 No.884969001 I really like being taken out on dates and have the man pay for the dinner and movie. I don't ever have to worry about being able to afford anything. If I were a dude, I'd be alone all the time. I never had any money or any smarts/ talent to earn any money. All I know is style and fashion how to be cute/pretty looking! 572 KB PNG
Anonymous It's better for me to be a gir(...) 09/02/22(Fri)20:21:33 No.884969001 I really like being taken out on dates and have the man pay for the dinner and movie. I don't ever have to worry about being able to afford anything. If I were a dude, I'd be alone all the time. I never had any money or any smarts/ talent to earn any money. All I know is style and fashion how to be cute/pretty looking! 572 KB PNG

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Dear god what have i done. | /r/Greentext

File: 1375611936713.gif-(478 KB, 250x144, in the face.gif) >Build up my courage tp sit with her >We get to talking >Turns out we have a lot in common Anonymous (ID: oD/Tqp/6) 08/04/13(Sun)06:25:36 No.497619150 [Reply] Replies: >>497626642 >>497627301 >>497627452 Dear god /b/ what have I done >Be 16 in highschool >Beta virgin, very very few friends >New girl in school >6/10, frizzly hair and really long birdlegs >We keep in touch and eventually begin dating >Loose my virginity to her, feelsgoodman.jpg >My new relationship makes me more confident about life >Begin working out more, eating more properly >Begin expanding my circle of friends, feeling cooler and cooler >However my >Break up with her via text break up with get in a huge fight >Everyone makes fun of her, calling her "Birdy" "Big Bird" "Bird Legs" etc. >See her at lunch one day all by herself, even I have friends to sit with >Feel really bad for her my gaining in popularity means my gf begins to drag me down >Everyone starts telling me "Why are you dating Birdlegs" or "I can't believe you are you going out with that Birdy girl" >Stupidly listen to them cuz I'm an arrogant male teenager >Decide to break up with her >We we german >She mentions that she's been there for me since I was a loser >Few girls are crying >Wonder what's going on >Blow her off and say I don't like her anymore >She calls me crying, I have none of it and hang up >Feel like boss for dumping the only girl ever liked me >Next day come to school feeling chipper >Everyone's got their heads hung and looking somber >Friend walks up to me, tells me "I'm really sorry" >Sorry about what? >"You don't know?" he says somberly, "I thought of all people you would have heard first..." >Heard about what f------ tell me goddammit >"I thought everyone had heard... about the Bird" >Bird bird bird >Bird is the word >Don't you know about the bird? >Well everybody knows that the bird is the word >Buh buh oo mao mao buh buh oo mao mao
File: 1375611936713.gif-(478 KB, 250x144, in the face.gif) >Build up my courage tp sit with her >We get to talking >Turns out we have a lot in common Anonymous (ID: oD/Tqp/6) 08/04/13(Sun)06:25:36 No.497619150 [Reply] Replies: >>497626642 >>497627301 >>497627452 Dear god /b/ what have I done >Be 16 in highschool >Beta virgin, very very few friends >New girl in school >6/10, frizzly hair and really long birdlegs >We keep in touch and eventually begin dating >Loose my virginity to her, feelsgoodman.jpg >My new relationship makes me more confident about life >Begin working out more, eating more properly >Begin expanding my circle of friends, feeling cooler and cooler >However my >Break up with her via text break up with get in a huge fight >Everyone makes fun of her, calling her "Birdy" "Big Bird" "Bird Legs" etc. >See her at lunch one day all by herself, even I have friends to sit with >Feel really bad for her my gaining in popularity means my gf begins to drag me down >Everyone starts telling me "Why are you dating Birdlegs" or "I can't believe you are you going out with that Birdy girl" >Stupidly listen to them cuz I'm an arrogant male teenager >Decide to break up with her >We we german >She mentions that she's been there for me since I was a loser >Few girls are crying >Wonder what's going on >Blow her off and say I don't like her anymore >She calls me crying, I have none of it and hang up >Feel like boss for dumping the only girl ever liked me >Next day come to school feeling chipper >Everyone's got their heads hung and looking somber >Friend walks up to me, tells me "I'm really sorry" >Sorry about what? >"You don't know?" he says somberly, "I thought of all people you would have heard first..." >Heard about what f------ tell me goddammit >"I thought everyone had heard... about the Bird" >Bird bird bird >Bird is the word >Don't you know about the bird? >Well everybody knows that the bird is the word >Buh buh oo mao mao buh buh oo mao mao

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Beast mode. | /r/Greentext

FB_IMG_1657564527522.jpg 39 KB JPG >Keeps his word to The Boys. >Tells Butcher about Homelander being his son right after he finds out. >Despite having some doubts, he sticks to the plan until the very end. >Gets betrayed because "muh wife's son cuckery" >Tanks everyone and only loses because plot demands it.
FB_IMG_1657564527522.jpg 39 KB JPG >Keeps his word to The Boys. >Tells Butcher about Homelander being his son right after he finds out. >Despite having some doubts, he sticks to the plan until the very end. >Gets betrayed because "muh wife's son cuckery" >Tanks everyone and only loses because plot demands it.

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Anon doesn’t do charity work | /r/Greentext

341 KB JPG >Be me >Typical fast food wagie >Working the drive thru today >balding simp hands me extra cash >tells me he wants to pay for the cute girl behind him. >I pocket the extra cash as a tip This is not a f------ soup kitchen, and I do not do charity work. F------ cucks.
341 KB JPG >Be me >Typical fast food wagie >Working the drive thru today >balding simp hands me extra cash >tells me he wants to pay for the cute girl behind him. >I pocket the extra cash as a tip This is not a f------ soup kitchen, and I do not do charity work. F------ cucks.

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Anon underestimates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 94 KB JPG 09/02/22 (Fri)06:47:20 No.884936523 >waves once >f------ dies
: Anonymous 94 KB JPG 09/02/22 (Fri)06:47:20 No.884936523 >waves once >f------ dies

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Anon and his sister | /r/Greentext

08/21/22(Sun)00:52:43 No.884258195 : Anonymous (OP) # >>884257641 >learned how to fap >tried to get my sister to jerk me off >I just fapped while she watched >told her to tell me when to stop >she said nothing >I fapped until I came >she acted surprised but watched the whole thing >never spoke of it or actually did anything underwhelming but the attempt was made >>884286500 #
08/21/22(Sun)00:52:43 No.884258195 : Anonymous (OP) # >>884257641 >learned how to fap >tried to get my sister to jerk me off >I just fapped while she watched >told her to tell me when to stop >she said nothing >I fapped until I came >she acted surprised but watched the whole thing >never spoke of it or actually did anything underwhelming but the attempt was made >>884286500 #

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Anon Talks About China | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous China an a------ Serbe The Guardian News Leyl Tawa Taiwan shoots down drone off Chinese coast for first time Acomp edhe d 09/02/22 (Fri) 10:17:22 No.884943551 499 KB JPG >Taiwan gonna be an independent country soon >China provoking Taiwan like they did to Hong Kong >Western countries starts shifting their manufacturing and investing from China to Taiwan >Taiwan is world #1 microchip manufacturer >China being a salty f--
: Anonymous China an a------ Serbe The Guardian News Leyl Tawa Taiwan shoots down drone off Chinese coast for first time Acomp edhe d 09/02/22 (Fri) 10:17:22 No.884943551 499 KB JPG >Taiwan gonna be an independent country soon >China provoking Taiwan like they did to Hong Kong >Western countries starts shifting their manufacturing and investing from China to Taiwan >Taiwan is world #1 microchip manufacturer >China being a salty f--

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Femanon is a shit person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 107 KB JPG 09/02/22 (Fri) 17:56:51 No.884961353 >be me >24 y/o femanon, been f------ the same guy for 6 years >never had much sexual experience outside my bf >bf decides to join the military >i can finally unleash my inner slut >fast forward to now >bf has been deployed for six months, told him when he gets back i will marry him >i have already f----- at least 15 guys while he was gone >while hes out there in the field suffering, probably gonna die, i've been out here living the dream >life is good He has no idea ive been cheating on him Imao
Anonymous 107 KB JPG 09/02/22 (Fri) 17:56:51 No.884961353 >be me >24 y/o femanon, been f------ the same guy for 6 years >never had much sexual experience outside my bf >bf decides to join the military >i can finally unleash my inner slut >fast forward to now >bf has been deployed for six months, told him when he gets back i will marry him >i have already f----- at least 15 guys while he was gone >while hes out there in the field suffering, probably gonna die, i've been out here living the dream >life is good He has no idea ive been cheating on him Imao

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Anon believes that milk is peepee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/22(Fri)19:56:05 No.18197155 >Be five >Read picture book about farm animals at school >Conclude that cows have multiple, funny looking penises and that cow's milk is just cow peepee >Start telling all my classmates >Teacher tells me I'm wrong and to stop. Refuses to explain further >Lunch time comes around >Tell my milk-peepee hypothesis to all the other kids sitting at the table with me >All the other kids join me in refusing to drink milk >Get sentenced to eating at the punishment table for the rest of the week. Teachers still refuse to explain anything >"God why are adults so stupid. Milk is obviously peepee. I know! I'll prove it to them!" >At home, I take a plastic bottle of chocolate milk, pour out the milk, and fill it with piss and chocolate syrup >Leave it on the teachers desk the next day >The day after that, recess is cancelled for our class and we all have to listen to a lecture from the Principle explaining that no, milk is not urine
: Anonymous 08/05/22(Fri)19:56:05 No.18197155 >Be five >Read picture book about farm animals at school >Conclude that cows have multiple, funny looking penises and that cow's milk is just cow peepee >Start telling all my classmates >Teacher tells me I'm wrong and to stop. Refuses to explain further >Lunch time comes around >Tell my milk-peepee hypothesis to all the other kids sitting at the table with me >All the other kids join me in refusing to drink milk >Get sentenced to eating at the punishment table for the rest of the week. Teachers still refuse to explain anything >"God why are adults so stupid. Milk is obviously peepee. I know! I'll prove it to them!" >At home, I take a plastic bottle of chocolate milk, pour out the milk, and fill it with piss and chocolate syrup >Leave it on the teachers desk the next day >The day after that, recess is cancelled for our class and we all have to listen to a lecture from the Principle explaining that no, milk is not urine

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anon is a wagecuck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: t6cSyr3u) 16 KB JPG 02/28/22(Mon)11:21:31 No.364133988 >me >live in mid size city in flyover nowheresville >make $15/hr (considered a good wage here) >can only get 25 hrs a week because obongocare >$1500 a month before taxes, $1200 after >$750 goes to rent+utilities for studio apartment >$100 goes to groceries, rice and beans, and bulk purchases only >$115 a month for phone and internet, cheapest possible >$90 or so to gas >$44 for car insurance Which leaves me with a WHOPPING >$101 With which to spend on myself. Any emergency, health issue, or car trouble and I'm absolutely f-----. This is the considered above average to the $11/hr pay. I will never own a home. I will never be able to raise a family. I will live and die in the f------ pod. >The American experiment has utterly failed and I hate you all
Anonymous (ID: t6cSyr3u) 16 KB JPG 02/28/22(Mon)11:21:31 No.364133988 >me >live in mid size city in flyover nowheresville >make $15/hr (considered a good wage here) >can only get 25 hrs a week because obongocare >$1500 a month before taxes, $1200 after >$750 goes to rent+utilities for studio apartment >$100 goes to groceries, rice and beans, and bulk purchases only >$115 a month for phone and internet, cheapest possible >$90 or so to gas >$44 for car insurance Which leaves me with a WHOPPING >$101 With which to spend on myself. Any emergency, health issue, or car trouble and I'm absolutely f-----. This is the considered above average to the $11/hr pay. I will never own a home. I will never be able to raise a family. I will live and die in the f------ pod. >The American experiment has utterly failed and I hate you all

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Reply guys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 09/02/22(Fri)04:00:16 No.70054300 >be me >manage to get date with tinder grill >Ididn'tthinkl'dmakeitthisfar.jpg >get coffee with her, go for walk, stop at thriftstore, walk some more >really nervous at first but realize we have a lot of similarities which calms me down >conversation flows easily, only a few lulls. >she laughs at my jokes >date ends, walk her to her car and say bye (she let me know beforehand she only had a couple hours before work for date) >wait til next day to text cause I heard you're supposed to do that >tell her I had a great time seeing her, and that I'd like to go out again sometime >brought up reference from before about what the next date should be, also heard you should do that >that was 12 hours ago >no reply >feel like it was all an act and she didn't like the date at all Am I screwed bros? Is she just playing hard to get? Or am I just an anxious f--- and this is normal. I know this isn't the right place to ask but I've never made it this far and it's stressing me out.
: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 09/02/22(Fri)04:00:16 No.70054300 >be me >manage to get date with tinder grill >Ididn'tthinkl'dmakeitthisfar.jpg >get coffee with her, go for walk, stop at thriftstore, walk some more >really nervous at first but realize we have a lot of similarities which calms me down >conversation flows easily, only a few lulls. >she laughs at my jokes >date ends, walk her to her car and say bye (she let me know beforehand she only had a couple hours before work for date) >wait til next day to text cause I heard you're supposed to do that >tell her I had a great time seeing her, and that I'd like to go out again sometime >brought up reference from before about what the next date should be, also heard you should do that >that was 12 hours ago >no reply >feel like it was all an act and she didn't like the date at all Am I screwed bros? Is she just playing hard to get? Or am I just an anxious f--- and this is normal. I know this isn't the right place to ask but I've never made it this far and it's stressing me out.

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