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Anon discovers an exploit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)07:40:05 No.862734590 >Be Me >Learn secret to unlimited free b------- >Super Chad mode activated >Really easy life hack >Dosnt matter if good looking or trash >Big d--- or tiny c--- >Follow these simple steps >Download Grindr Ring For B------ 36 KB JPG >Use buzz words like DTF, STR8, CLOSET >Instant matches >Meet up >Tell them you nervous about sex but willing to get sucked >F------ fall for it every time >C-- buckets in their mouths >Then leave >Don't touch their d---- and it's not gay >Ghost and repeat with next f-----
: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)07:40:05 No.862734590 >Be Me >Learn secret to unlimited free b------- >Super Chad mode activated >Really easy life hack >Dosnt matter if good looking or trash >Big d--- or tiny c--- >Follow these simple steps >Download Grindr Ring For B------ 36 KB JPG >Use buzz words like DTF, STR8, CLOSET >Instant matches >Meet up >Tell them you nervous about sex but willing to get sucked >F------ fall for it every time >C-- buckets in their mouths >Then leave >Don't touch their d---- and it's not gay >Ghost and repeat with next f-----

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Stay bold, ponytail | /r/Greentext


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Trypod.... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)06:22:23 No.65313883 > Working closing shift at supermarket > Closed five minutes ago but bloke is still doing his shopping > Coworkers complaining about him and making fun of him for being short 108 KB PNG > 30 seconds later absolutely jacked 5'6" man comes to my checkout > Huge grin on his face, go to scan his items > extralargecondoms.jpg > Finishes transaction and leaves store > The look on my coworker's faces I hope p---- slaying manlet bro lives a long and happy life
: Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)06:22:23 No.65313883 > Working closing shift at supermarket > Closed five minutes ago but bloke is still doing his shopping > Coworkers complaining about him and making fun of him for being short 108 KB PNG > 30 seconds later absolutely jacked 5'6" man comes to my checkout > Huge grin on his face, go to scan his items > extralargecondoms.jpg > Finishes transaction and leaves store > The look on my coworker's faces I hope p---- slaying manlet bro lives a long and happy life

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Here comes the sun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)10:17:13 No.65303041 >be a depressed zombie as a teenager >meds don't seem to work >brute force myself into doing basic life s--- like exercising and getting good grades >quit meds at the same time >do tolerably okay for a while 39 KB JPG >years later I relapse into a depression >develop coping strats to feel better like exercising more and getting more sunshine >all my gains are undone by insane binge eating >life is a continual uphill battle >finally cave in and go back on meds >combination of meds and healthy living combine to give me superpowers >mfw I realize most people get by feeling a tolerable 6/10 on the happiness scale most of the time >l just thought everybody was brute forcing through life feeling a 3/10 all the time Holy f--- bros.
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)10:17:13 No.65303041 >be a depressed zombie as a teenager >meds don't seem to work >brute force myself into doing basic life s--- like exercising and getting good grades >quit meds at the same time >do tolerably okay for a while 39 KB JPG >years later I relapse into a depression >develop coping strats to feel better like exercising more and getting more sunshine >all my gains are undone by insane binge eating >life is a continual uphill battle >finally cave in and go back on meds >combination of meds and healthy living combine to give me superpowers >mfw I realize most people get by feeling a tolerable 6/10 on the happiness scale most of the time >l just thought everybody was brute forcing through life feeling a 3/10 all the time Holy f--- bros.

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Anon learns new things about himself | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes a recommendation | /r/Greentext


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Anon takes advice from a Veteran | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes a huge mistake | /r/Greentext


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Anon Can Get Every Channel Now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)00:41:07 No.862663038 >meet girl off dating_app.exe >laying in bed watching streaming_service.mp4 >tell her i am cold >she cuddles up to me >10 minutes later 168 KB PNG >tell her i am still cold >she reaches over the side of the bed >another laptop in her hands >this is my linux, give me a second to fire it up >3 minutes later >this overheats really quickly so it will warm you up >0-ok thanks babe >is your penis cold by the way? >me *nods* >she wraps tin foil around the base and then puts the tip in her mouth >clicks resume watching on s_s.mp4 >me extremely comfy >warm laptop >warm mouth >not sure about the tin foil but my penis is very warm as well has anyone met a girl like this before?
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)00:41:07 No.862663038 >meet girl off dating_app.exe >laying in bed watching streaming_service.mp4 >tell her i am cold >she cuddles up to me >10 minutes later 168 KB PNG >tell her i am still cold >she reaches over the side of the bed >another laptop in her hands >this is my linux, give me a second to fire it up >3 minutes later >this overheats really quickly so it will warm you up >0-ok thanks babe >is your penis cold by the way? >me *nods* >she wraps tin foil around the base and then puts the tip in her mouth >clicks resume watching on s_s.mp4 >me extremely comfy >warm laptop >warm mouth >not sure about the tin foil but my penis is very warm as well has anyone met a girl like this before?

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Anon gave a ticket straight to Hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/18(Sat)12:17:57 No.766549240 story time /b/ >be me >9 years old and in 4th grade >my 2 closest friends were a pair of twins >they're muslim >one day at lunch i had pizza rolls 79 KB PNG >one of them asks "hey anon, can we have a pizza roll" >i gladly give them one >fast forward to now and me being 15 >i realize my mom only gave me pepperoni pizza rolls >i gave them pork >mfw i gave them a ticket straight to hell
: Anonymous 04/21/18(Sat)12:17:57 No.766549240 story time /b/ >be me >9 years old and in 4th grade >my 2 closest friends were a pair of twins >they're muslim >one day at lunch i had pizza rolls 79 KB PNG >one of them asks "hey anon, can we have a pizza roll" >i gladly give them one >fast forward to now and me being 15 >i realize my mom only gave me pepperoni pizza rolls >i gave them pork >mfw i gave them a ticket straight to hell

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Anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)21:49:33 No.65310615 >be me >have a crush on a girl from college >she doesn't have a fb only insta, snap and twitter >refuse to join insta so make a 8 KB JPG twitter for the first time to follow her >she follows me back >cooms.jpg >realize if you follow the right people it's not as annoying >actually find a community l'm into and meet people online where we talk about our hobbies, trade pictures and stuff >they all encourage me to ask my crush out >notice she isn't follow me anymore but I can still send her a dm >she tells me I'm a disgusting p------------ and should rot in hell >w--.png >turns out f------ twitter shows what you f------ liked to your followers Anons I liked a lot of loli s--- how can I turn this around 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)21:49:33 No.65310615 >be me >have a crush on a girl from college >she doesn't have a fb only insta, snap and twitter >refuse to join insta so make a 8 KB JPG twitter for the first time to follow her >she follows me back >cooms.jpg >realize if you follow the right people it's not as annoying >actually find a community l'm into and meet people online where we talk about our hobbies, trade pictures and stuff >they all encourage me to ask my crush out >notice she isn't follow me anymore but I can still send her a dm >she tells me I'm a disgusting p------------ and should rot in hell >w--.png >turns out f------ twitter shows what you f------ liked to your followers Anons I liked a lot of loli s--- how can I turn this around 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is a gaslit sissy | /r/Greentext


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Anon enters the cybersecurity space | /r/Greentext

7h (9/9 2:42) · 83294801 50 Re · 10 Img · PNG 448KB · (600 × 624) 19 Replies >finally got a cybersecurity job >boss starts every meeting with "hey hackerstars!" >coworkers use anime images or 1337 haxOr ones as their outlook and slack photos >our DC and other infrastructure is named after quirky star wars s--- >they all are on twitter •..
7h (9/9 2:42) · 83294801 50 Re · 10 Img · PNG 448KB · (600 × 624) 19 Replies >finally got a cybersecurity job >boss starts every meeting with "hey hackerstars!" >coworkers use anime images or 1337 haxOr ones as their outlook and slack photos >our DC and other infrastructure is named after quirky star wars s--- >they all are on twitter •..

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Anon got a fan | /r/Greentext

>>46575716 # >be me >neighbour has heavily disabled son 2.98 MB PNG >l'm talking Steven hawkings levels of qaudraspazzed >outside gym master race >one day I'm lifting and he's in the neighbors garden >l'm benching my 1RM >here a noise >look up and see this little spazoid cheering and bobbing his head >now every time I lift he wheels himself out and cheers me on >mfw I now lift for him >>46575873 # >>46575916 # >>46575954 # >>46575963 # >>46576013 # >>46576043 # >>46576233 # >>46578453 # >>46578580 # >>46578865 # >>46582317 # >>46582488 # >>46582583 # >>46582599 #
>>46575716 # >be me >neighbour has heavily disabled son 2.98 MB PNG >l'm talking Steven hawkings levels of qaudraspazzed >outside gym master race >one day I'm lifting and he's in the neighbors garden >l'm benching my 1RM >here a noise >look up and see this little spazoid cheering and bobbing his head >now every time I lift he wheels himself out and cheers me on >mfw I now lift for him >>46575873 # >>46575916 # >>46575954 # >>46575963 # >>46576013 # >>46576043 # >>46576233 # >>46578453 # >>46578580 # >>46578865 # >>46582317 # >>46582488 # >>46582583 # >>46582599 #

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)19:05:24 No.862704923 >Made an American friend. >He calls me Britfag I call him Americunt. It's our thing. >Few days ago I took him to the pub and got him a packet of Crisp and a Pint of Guinness >lt was the first time he had it. >He started to slap his thigh and said HOT TM 192 KB GIF DOG that was good >MFW Americans really say HOT DOG when they get excited. tl;dr: Made an Americunt friend was surprised when they stuff like HOT DOG when they get excited
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)19:05:24 No.862704923 >Made an American friend. >He calls me Britfag I call him Americunt. It's our thing. >Few days ago I took him to the pub and got him a packet of Crisp and a Pint of Guinness >lt was the first time he had it. >He started to slap his thigh and said HOT TM 192 KB GIF DOG that was good >MFW Americans really say HOT DOG when they get excited. tl;dr: Made an Americunt friend was surprised when they stuff like HOT DOG when they get excited

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It’s a Whole Process | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)01:02:15 No.65239476 >you can't just make coffee with hot tap water >NO0000000 you have to boil cold tap water first 16 KB PNG
: Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)01:02:15 No.65239476 >you can't just make coffee with hot tap water >NO0000000 you have to boil cold tap water first 16 KB PNG

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OP is losing his mind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/21(Fri)02:14:47 No.566325327 >be 27 >virgin >girl I went to uni with a few years ago calls me >"hey anon i'm really sorry to do this but I had a baby and I think it's yours" >uh bitch that's f------ 506 KB PNG impossible we never had sex >"what the f--- are you talking about are you serious" >start arguing >get a DNA test just to shut her the f--- up >it's positive what the f--- am I losing my f------ mind
: Anonymous 08/06/21(Fri)02:14:47 No.566325327 >be 27 >virgin >girl I went to uni with a few years ago calls me >"hey anon i'm really sorry to do this but I had a baby and I think it's yours" >uh bitch that's f------ 506 KB PNG impossible we never had sex >"what the f--- are you talking about are you serious" >start arguing >get a DNA test just to shut her the f--- up >it's positive what the f--- am I losing my f------ mind

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Brother, I Am Disappoint | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/21(Wed)21:53:47 No.65225466 >younger brother recently got his license >gifted him a car for his 18th birthday >also installed a dashcam in the car, just in case >he gets into a car accident a month later >ah, this should be an open and shut case. 108 KB PNG he has a dash cam mfw I learn he left the dashcam unplugged this entire time, since he got the car, just so he could charge his phone
: Anonymous 09/01/21(Wed)21:53:47 No.65225466 >younger brother recently got his license >gifted him a car for his 18th birthday >also installed a dashcam in the car, just in case >he gets into a car accident a month later >ah, this should be an open and shut case. 108 KB PNG he has a dash cam mfw I learn he left the dashcam unplugged this entire time, since he got the car, just so he could charge his phone

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Anon explains flies. | /r/Greentext


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Anon becomes a reddit mod | /r/Greentext

jpg (75 KB, 672x800) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)19:06:09 No.862682532 v >be me >bored as f--- >decide to finally go on reddit >create an account >the first thing i notice is a button >"create your own community" >create a subreddit >"yeahwathever.png" >sudden realization that by doing so, i would become a reddit mod >it's like Jesus himself is presenting in front of me on Damascus' road >immediately close the browser hoping to delete the process >it's too late, the sub has been created >mfw i'm now a reddit mod >mfw my honor has been destroyed >mfw this will probably be posted on r/greentext
jpg (75 KB, 672x800) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)19:06:09 No.862682532 v >be me >bored as f--- >decide to finally go on reddit >create an account >the first thing i notice is a button >"create your own community" >create a subreddit >"yeahwathever.png" >sudden realization that by doing so, i would become a reddit mod >it's like Jesus himself is presenting in front of me on Damascus' road >immediately close the browser hoping to delete the process >it's too late, the sub has been created >mfw i'm now a reddit mod >mfw my honor has been destroyed >mfw this will probably be posted on r/greentext

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