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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 25 KB JPG 05/26/21 (Wed)14:31:24 No.63850296 >message a female friend who i get along with >tell her I'm still a virgin and that I think it would help me a lot and give me more confidence if I could lose it with her >no reply >she stops talking to me >meet irl due to common friends and she pretends I'm not there
Anonymous 25 KB JPG 05/26/21 (Wed)14:31:24 No.63850296 >message a female friend who i get along with >tell her I'm still a virgin and that I think it would help me a lot and give me more confidence if I could lose it with her >no reply >she stops talking to me >meet irl due to common friends and she pretends I'm not there

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Anon doesn't believe in steering wheel | /r/Greentext

Phineas Gage shown after the accident involving the iron rod. The image on the left shows where this rod went through his skull. >Proves the soul doesn't exist before you Nothing personnel, kid. 3d (10/5 9:24). 15697955 1 Reply >>15697906 (OP) it doesn't 3d (10/5 9:28) 15697964 6 Replies >>15697906 (OP) >rip out the steering axle on your car >crash into a ditch >conclude cars are not driven by humans
Phineas Gage shown after the accident involving the iron rod. The image on the left shows where this rod went through his skull. >Proves the soul doesn't exist before you Nothing personnel, kid. 3d (10/5 9:24). 15697955 1 Reply >>15697906 (OP) it doesn't 3d (10/5 9:28) 15697964 6 Replies >>15697906 (OP) >rip out the steering axle on your car >crash into a ditch >conclude cars are not driven by humans

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Anon doesn't like group work | /r/Greentext

things you didn't like from school Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)15:14:59 No.75177049 >"okay class get into pairs" >class has odd number of students
things you didn't like from school Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)15:14:59 No.75177049 >"okay class get into pairs" >class has odd number of students

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Anon orders pizza. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 446 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)16:20:19 No.75177767 >pizza man accidentally said he loves me >corrects himself and drives away i uh... i 10/24/23(Tue)16:32:00 No.75177916 Anonymous >>75177767 (OP) It's great how tolerant pizza places are of homosexuality these days.
Anonymous 446 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)16:20:19 No.75177767 >pizza man accidentally said he loves me >corrects himself and drives away i uh... i 10/24/23(Tue)16:32:00 No.75177916 Anonymous >>75177767 (OP) It's great how tolerant pizza places are of homosexuality these days.

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News: 4chan is a threat to society; 4chan: | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)15:10:01 No.75176996 [2] [Reply] I just s--- my pants ironically Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)15:21:34 No.75177124 >>75176996 (OP) No wonders why you don't get any fembots Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)15:21:37 No.75177126 Well next time do it unironically.
Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)15:10:01 No.75176996 [2] [Reply] I just s--- my pants ironically Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)15:21:34 No.75177124 >>75176996 (OP) No wonders why you don't get any fembots Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)15:21:37 No.75177126 Well next time do it unironically.

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Anon couldn't prevent. | /r/Greentext

10/24/23(Tue)11:02:05 No.75174802 A few days ago there was some 4channer who kept posting about how they were going to commit a school shooting. It seemed serious to me, so I tried to report it to their country's police, but I couldn't find any contact form. I was going to try to talk them out of it, but I instead decided to report it to 4chan as illegal content. As soon as I did they stopped posting and presumably were banned. I for some reason stupidly thought maybe 4chan would report it to their country's police. Anonymous 76 KB PNG One day later, they committed the school shooting and killed some of their schoolmates. The shooting happened yesterday. I know a lot of people here are edgy teens who like people dying, but whatever. And yes I am redditspacing. Tell me to go back. I don't care. I feel like if I had found some way to report it to the police, but didn't report it on 4chan, they wouldn't have known anything was going to happen and maybe the police could've stopped it in time. The 4chan ban may've also made them feel like they would be arrested soon, in which case reporting it may've actually caused it to happen, or at least happen then.
10/24/23(Tue)11:02:05 No.75174802 A few days ago there was some 4channer who kept posting about how they were going to commit a school shooting. It seemed serious to me, so I tried to report it to their country's police, but I couldn't find any contact form. I was going to try to talk them out of it, but I instead decided to report it to 4chan as illegal content. As soon as I did they stopped posting and presumably were banned. I for some reason stupidly thought maybe 4chan would report it to their country's police. Anonymous 76 KB PNG One day later, they committed the school shooting and killed some of their schoolmates. The shooting happened yesterday. I know a lot of people here are edgy teens who like people dying, but whatever. And yes I am redditspacing. Tell me to go back. I don't care. I feel like if I had found some way to report it to the police, but didn't report it on 4chan, they wouldn't have known anything was going to happen and maybe the police could've stopped it in time. The 4chan ban may've also made them feel like they would be arrested soon, in which case reporting it may've actually caused it to happen, or at least happen then.

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Happy birthday Anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous SONONONG 07/09/21(Fri)19:36:55 No.64507277 Doritos 8 20210709_210433.jpg 1.82 MB JPG 21st Birthday >Was going to kill myself today >Parents get me this cake for my birthday >Going to kill myself tomorrow
: Anonymous SONONONG 07/09/21(Fri)19:36:55 No.64507277 Doritos 8 20210709_210433.jpg 1.82 MB JPG 21st Birthday >Was going to kill myself today >Parents get me this cake for my birthday >Going to kill myself tomorrow

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Anon's antisemitism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 348 KB PNG : Anonymous F--- em 10/24/23(Tue) 14:27:22 No.908212830 >thing happens >i blame the jews >thing doesnt happen >i blame the jews why do the jews make me do this? 10/24/23(Tue) 14:30:18 No.908212962
Anonymous 348 KB PNG : Anonymous F--- em 10/24/23(Tue) 14:27:22 No.908212830 >thing happens >i blame the jews >thing doesnt happen >i blame the jews why do the jews make me do this? 10/24/23(Tue) 14:30:18 No.908212962

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"Real chess players know that just because you lost a Queen doesn't mean you give up on a King

crazy-brazilian Follow Anonymous * 103 KB JPG 06/02/22(Thu)22:38:37 No.879367533 >be me, playing World of Warcraft >because of reasons that would be a longer story than this one, end up regularly with three german guys >they're all fluent in english, only switching back to german to briefly discuss how to say something in english so I can understand, too >one guy is my age, one is in his 40s or 50s, and the last one is 15 >from the way they talk, I realise that the kid and the 40-year-old know each other irl >at first I assume it's father and son, but apparently the kid is this guy's daughter's boyfriend >we play together, finish quests, a year goes by >become legit friends, I start learning german on duolingo to understand at least the basics >the kid and the other guy's daughter break up >the kid's beat up about it, I worry that we'll break apart too >I don't have friends irl, this possibility is unironically devastating >fortunately the gang stays together, we still play just the same >one day we're waiting for the 40-something to show up, he's late by like 40 minutes and he's never late >he logs in, and on the background of his mic we hear what sounds like a young woman yelling something in german before slamming a door >I ask the others what that was, the one my age answers first "Didn't catch the whole thing, something about someone not being allowed to start a collection. Was that your girl, Ulf? Sounds stormy in there." "She's good, she's good. She has a new boyfriend, that's all." "What, you don't like him?" "Ah, no, no. Seems like a good boy and all. I just asked her if he plays Warcraft." its-grape-juice-i-swear Follow m----------- we broke up over a year ago why did i just find out u still play chess on messenger with my dad stop 8:05 AM 01 May 21 Twitter for iPhone 27.9K Retweets and comments 305K Likes same energy 27 Red Sonnet @Red_Sonnet 1d Replying to @Texts Auras Real chess players know that just because you lost a queen doesn't mean you give up on a king 108 2,454 29.6K
crazy-brazilian Follow Anonymous * 103 KB JPG 06/02/22(Thu)22:38:37 No.879367533 >be me, playing World of Warcraft >because of reasons that would be a longer story than this one, end up regularly with three german guys >they're all fluent in english, only switching back to german to briefly discuss how to say something in english so I can understand, too >one guy is my age, one is in his 40s or 50s, and the last one is 15 >from the way they talk, I realise that the kid and the 40-year-old know each other irl >at first I assume it's father and son, but apparently the kid is this guy's daughter's boyfriend >we play together, finish quests, a year goes by >become legit friends, I start learning german on duolingo to understand at least the basics >the kid and the other guy's daughter break up >the kid's beat up about it, I worry that we'll break apart too >I don't have friends irl, this possibility is unironically devastating >fortunately the gang stays together, we still play just the same >one day we're waiting for the 40-something to show up, he's late by like 40 minutes and he's never late >he logs in, and on the background of his mic we hear what sounds like a young woman yelling something in german before slamming a door >I ask the others what that was, the one my age answers first "Didn't catch the whole thing, something about someone not being allowed to start a collection. Was that your girl, Ulf? Sounds stormy in there." "She's good, she's good. She has a new boyfriend, that's all." "What, you don't like him?" "Ah, no, no. Seems like a good boy and all. I just asked her if he plays Warcraft." its-grape-juice-i-swear Follow m----------- we broke up over a year ago why did i just find out u still play chess on messenger with my dad stop 8:05 AM 01 May 21 Twitter for iPhone 27.9K Retweets and comments 305K Likes same energy 27 Red Sonnet @Red_Sonnet 1d Replying to @Texts Auras Real chess players know that just because you lost a queen doesn't mean you give up on a king 108 2,454 29.6K

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German humor | /r/Greentext

195 KB JPG >3 vampires walk into a bar >one is from Germany, one is from Russia and the other is from England >The German vampire orders a beer with a shot of blood >The Russian vampire orders a vodka with a shot of blood as well >The English vampires orders a cup of hot water >The two others ask him: "why don't you drink any blood?" >The English vampire pulls out a used tampon and says: "It's tea time!"
195 KB JPG >3 vampires walk into a bar >one is from Germany, one is from Russia and the other is from England >The German vampire orders a beer with a shot of blood >The Russian vampire orders a vodka with a shot of blood as well >The English vampires orders a cup of hot water >The two others ask him: "why don't you drink any blood?" >The English vampire pulls out a used tampon and says: "It's tea time!"

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Anon has a coworker. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Stacy's Hidden Life 599 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)12:15:29 No.75175399 >be me >get Stacy coworker at retail job >early 20's, fine body, blonde, looks like young pic related >really nice, has a cool look, reads big books like Game of Thrones >has a chad bf who makes a lot of money but she still works to have her own income >slowly begin to realize something >other women immediately hate her >Karens and roasties go into giga cope and seethe mode the moment they see her >they act rude and try to say underhanded remarks but she obviously has the high ground >really enjoy the schadenfreude of roasties getting viciously mogged just by her standing there Meanwhile random guys are bringing her gifts and buying her lunch everyday. Sorry it had to happen like this Karens.
Anonymous Stacy's Hidden Life 599 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)12:15:29 No.75175399 >be me >get Stacy coworker at retail job >early 20's, fine body, blonde, looks like young pic related >really nice, has a cool look, reads big books like Game of Thrones >has a chad bf who makes a lot of money but she still works to have her own income >slowly begin to realize something >other women immediately hate her >Karens and roasties go into giga cope and seethe mode the moment they see her >they act rude and try to say underhanded remarks but she obviously has the high ground >really enjoy the schadenfreude of roasties getting viciously mogged just by her standing there Meanwhile random guys are bringing her gifts and buying her lunch everyday. Sorry it had to happen like this Karens.

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An oldie but a goodie. | /r/Greentext

File: creditcards.jpg (73 KB, 1200x800) LICEN 0123 45 WALKE 40 Who else here beat the system? Anonymous 01/04/21 (Mon)17:48:58 No.61714257 >be me >turn 18 last summer >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] No new posts [Post a Reply]
File: creditcards.jpg (73 KB, 1200x800) LICEN 0123 45 WALKE 40 Who else here beat the system? Anonymous 01/04/21 (Mon)17:48:58 No.61714257 >be me >turn 18 last summer >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] No new posts [Post a Reply]

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Anon just has that look to him | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)22:04:31 No.908205167 >Most recent job only worked a few hours >Made the most money I ever made >Got fired not even lasting a month because apparently I just make people uncomfortable with my presence 124 KB JPG There's no fixing this. My retail job wont take me back either. It's been months and no place is responding to me. I'm not a criminal I don't know why they wont respond. I envy wage cucks.
Anonymous 10/24/23(Tue)22:04:31 No.908205167 >Most recent job only worked a few hours >Made the most money I ever made >Got fired not even lasting a month because apparently I just make people uncomfortable with my presence 124 KB JPG There's no fixing this. My retail job wont take me back either. It's been months and no place is responding to me. I'm not a criminal I don't know why they wont respond. I envy wage cucks.

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Anon life is over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 149 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)19:51:13 No.908201051 >be me, robot KHV, pretty much an incel without the typical woman hating >might be bi. idk >message trans escort for service >she says chemistry is important, asks for pic >i send it >she doesn't say it, but seems kinda disappointed >chat on insta for couple days, try to show her I'm not a robot and I'm a completely normal person by sending her reels and memes She just called me annoying. what do? I'm a complete robot and I have never touched a girl before. Did I just get rejected by an trans escort? I thought they'd be more understanding than cis escorts. Should I just end it? Am I gay and retarded? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z! I'm not even that ugly, and I'm somewhat muscular. I'm a solid 4/10, if I lost weight, easily a 7. What the f--- is even going on anymore? I'm 21 and this is my life. No partying, no true friends, offering half a weeks salary to have sex for the first time in my life and STILL getting rejected. Am I spiraling into true inceldom and hatred? Is it too late for me? Who the f--- even gets rejected by escorts? I thought the whole point was if you gave them money they wouldn't care what you looked like. I'm completely clean and mentally sane and I still can't get a smidgen of p---- (d---, in this case). Is this the end of the road?
: Anonymous 149 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue)19:51:13 No.908201051 >be me, robot KHV, pretty much an incel without the typical woman hating >might be bi. idk >message trans escort for service >she says chemistry is important, asks for pic >i send it >she doesn't say it, but seems kinda disappointed >chat on insta for couple days, try to show her I'm not a robot and I'm a completely normal person by sending her reels and memes She just called me annoying. what do? I'm a complete robot and I have never touched a girl before. Did I just get rejected by an trans escort? I thought they'd be more understanding than cis escorts. Should I just end it? Am I gay and retarded? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z! I'm not even that ugly, and I'm somewhat muscular. I'm a solid 4/10, if I lost weight, easily a 7. What the f--- is even going on anymore? I'm 21 and this is my life. No partying, no true friends, offering half a weeks salary to have sex for the first time in my life and STILL getting rejected. Am I spiraling into true inceldom and hatred? Is it too late for me? Who the f--- even gets rejected by escorts? I thought the whole point was if you gave them money they wouldn't care what you looked like. I'm completely clean and mentally sane and I still can't get a smidgen of p---- (d---, in this case). Is this the end of the road?

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Anon frees himself from addiction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My road to sobriety >be me 32 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue) 10:11:20 No.908203594 >Addicted_fagottini.jpeg >Heavy into cocaine, alcohol and m----------- >One day i wake up and realize I don't want to be an addict before >Devise a brilliant plan while I masturbate in the morning as I take a s--- >I get the urge to do cocaine, so I start making packets of flour and random ass seasonings and convince myself it's cocaine >I snort it and it feels f------ terrible >Stops doing cocaine >Need_drinking.wav, the plan continues >I make the most disgusting cocktail by pouring vodka in a glass and dissolving some freshly harvested dingle berry in there, hair for garnish >Vodka martini, shaken not stirred >I drink the now brown drink and I puke all over the floor, haven't touched a drink after that and it's been a year >Final boss music begins, I must face my coomer self >I fail the first attempts with sheer power alone >I make a mix of acetone and lemon juice >I get horny and start fapping, so I pour the anti fapping chemical I've created, my c--- starts looking like a hairless cat >Sill want to fap even with a severely damaged d--- >My now brilliant sober mind remembers physics from school, in particular how metals like electricity or some s--- >Push a rod up my ass and taze the rod for maximum electrocution damage >Its_very_effevtive.mp4 >Gets erectile dysfunction but i don't fap anymore I did it bros, I'm finally free.
: Anonymous My road to sobriety >be me 32 KB JPG 10/24/23(Tue) 10:11:20 No.908203594 >Addicted_fagottini.jpeg >Heavy into cocaine, alcohol and m----------- >One day i wake up and realize I don't want to be an addict before >Devise a brilliant plan while I masturbate in the morning as I take a s--- >I get the urge to do cocaine, so I start making packets of flour and random ass seasonings and convince myself it's cocaine >I snort it and it feels f------ terrible >Stops doing cocaine >Need_drinking.wav, the plan continues >I make the most disgusting cocktail by pouring vodka in a glass and dissolving some freshly harvested dingle berry in there, hair for garnish >Vodka martini, shaken not stirred >I drink the now brown drink and I puke all over the floor, haven't touched a drink after that and it's been a year >Final boss music begins, I must face my coomer self >I fail the first attempts with sheer power alone >I make a mix of acetone and lemon juice >I get horny and start fapping, so I pour the anti fapping chemical I've created, my c--- starts looking like a hairless cat >Sill want to fap even with a severely damaged d--- >My now brilliant sober mind remembers physics from school, in particular how metals like electricity or some s--- >Push a rod up my ass and taze the rod for maximum electrocution damage >Its_very_effevtive.mp4 >Gets erectile dysfunction but i don't fap anymore I did it bros, I'm finally free.

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Anon Goes Clothes Shopping | /r/Greentext

File: 1696896244213913.jpg (17 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)23:35:47 No.17851045 ► >>17851058 >>17851171 >>17851956 >>17853636 >>17853639 >>17853759 >>17855150 >"100% verified [European nation] cotton" >Go to store >"Made in China" >> Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)01:00:34 No.17851171 ► File: 1692851975942777.jpg (354 KB, 3000x1680) >>17851058 >>17851045 (OP) NOW YUO SEE... >2500€ Premium Piece of Clothing >Made in Vietnam, Made in Bangladesh >Cashmere >20% Polyester, 40% Cotton, 30% Alpaca, 10% Cashmere, 100% Cupro Lining, >> Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)07:40:06 No.17851824 ► File: IMG_0164.jpg (120 KB, 250x323) 方大利风情旅游区欢 WELCOME TO ITALIAN STYLE TOWN >fine Italian wool Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)09:57:37 No.17851956 ► >>17851045 (OP) >MADE IN ITALY (big letters highlighted on website) >contains italian* yarn (microscopic letters on back of tag) >made in bangladesh. assembled in toilet. follow care tag to ensure lasting enjoyment. do not wash. lay flat to dry. no sun. discoloration resulting from exposure to light is not defect - contribute to unique characteristic of special garment. CAUTION- do not sit on light colored upholstery. >Chinese characters and gobbledygook squiggle line writings >engrish >No Refunds. Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)06:08:39 No.17853033 >'"""'premium"*" Polyester Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)06:12:51 No.17853042 File: 1636816772766.png (453 KB, 521x521) >heritage line >'"""'made in USA >actually made in changladesh but the label is sewn on in Guam >300+tip ☐ Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)16:43:48 No.17853636 ► >>17851045 (OP) >grow cotton in eu >ship cotton to china to be woven into fabric >ship fabric to bangladesh to be sewn into clothes >ship clothes back to eu problem, regulators? Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)16:49:44 No.17853639 ► File: 1691202362621342.jpg (30 KB, 500x500) >>17851045 (OP) >store says made in America >receive jacket >made in Brooklyn Thanks Crye Precision
File: 1696896244213913.jpg (17 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/20/23(Fri)23:35:47 No.17851045 ► >>17851058 >>17851171 >>17851956 >>17853636 >>17853639 >>17853759 >>17855150 >"100% verified [European nation] cotton" >Go to store >"Made in China" >> Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)01:00:34 No.17851171 ► File: 1692851975942777.jpg (354 KB, 3000x1680) >>17851058 >>17851045 (OP) NOW YUO SEE... >2500€ Premium Piece of Clothing >Made in Vietnam, Made in Bangladesh >Cashmere >20% Polyester, 40% Cotton, 30% Alpaca, 10% Cashmere, 100% Cupro Lining, >> Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)07:40:06 No.17851824 ► File: IMG_0164.jpg (120 KB, 250x323) 方大利风情旅游区欢 WELCOME TO ITALIAN STYLE TOWN >fine Italian wool Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)09:57:37 No.17851956 ► >>17851045 (OP) >MADE IN ITALY (big letters highlighted on website) >contains italian* yarn (microscopic letters on back of tag) >made in bangladesh. assembled in toilet. follow care tag to ensure lasting enjoyment. do not wash. lay flat to dry. no sun. discoloration resulting from exposure to light is not defect - contribute to unique characteristic of special garment. CAUTION- do not sit on light colored upholstery. >Chinese characters and gobbledygook squiggle line writings >engrish >No Refunds. Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)06:08:39 No.17853033 >'"""'premium"*" Polyester Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)06:12:51 No.17853042 File: 1636816772766.png (453 KB, 521x521) >heritage line >'"""'made in USA >actually made in changladesh but the label is sewn on in Guam >300+tip ☐ Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)16:43:48 No.17853636 ► >>17851045 (OP) >grow cotton in eu >ship cotton to china to be woven into fabric >ship fabric to bangladesh to be sewn into clothes >ship clothes back to eu problem, regulators? Anonymous 10/22/23(Sun)16:49:44 No.17853639 ► File: 1691202362621342.jpg (30 KB, 500x500) >>17851045 (OP) >store says made in America >receive jacket >made in Brooklyn Thanks Crye Precision

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