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Anon is french | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)12:42:41 No.849647451 >be french f----- >be faguette
Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)12:42:41 No.849647451 >be french f----- >be faguette

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Anon likes chocolate milk | /r/Greentext

>be me >angry as f--- >get home >feel like punching my door >go to fridge >get chocolate milk 153 KB GIF >drink milk >nerves calm >milk makes me happy >now in good mood >thanks milk
>be me >angry as f--- >get home >feel like punching my door >go to fridge >get chocolate milk 153 KB GIF >drink milk >nerves calm >milk makes me happy >now in good mood >thanks milk

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Anon tests his sexuality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)12:44:47 No.849652827 >be me >degenerate >get drunk af and decide to check if im bisexual one and for all >call a random dude from grindr to sad apu my place to f--- >he gets to my place 51 KB PNG >starts putting my d--- in his ass >w-- i dont want aids >uhh what about protection >"f--- you you wasted my f------ time" >"um... sorry?" >"let me at least c--" >realize this is f------ gross to me >dude proceeds to j------- and c-- on my stomach >holy f--- i wanna throw up >he leaves >spend the day washing myself and throwing up >still remember how awful that was sometimes at night >i confirmed im straight
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)12:44:47 No.849652827 >be me >degenerate >get drunk af and decide to check if im bisexual one and for all >call a random dude from grindr to sad apu my place to f--- >he gets to my place 51 KB PNG >starts putting my d--- in his ass >w-- i dont want aids >uhh what about protection >"f--- you you wasted my f------ time" >"um... sorry?" >"let me at least c--" >realize this is f------ gross to me >dude proceeds to j------- and c-- on my stomach >holy f--- i wanna throw up >he leaves >spend the day washing myself and throwing up >still remember how awful that was sometimes at night >i confirmed im straight

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Anon has an interesting experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)17:51:26 No.781496673 >Be me >Taking to friend >Says he f----- a Gatorade bottle and it felt really good >Decide to try it out later that day >D--- doesn't fit 154 KB PNG >idea.jpeg >Stick soft c--- in bottle and watch p--- until it's hard >When I achieved about a half chub I realized I f----- up >Try to pull out c--- but it was too late >Bottle squeezing my d--- with the force of 10 Ben Shapiros >On the ground writhing in pain >Bottle acting like a super c--- ring and keeping my d--- hard for over 10 minutes >Bust a fat nut in the gatorade bottle >Finally get my d--- out about a minute later Overall l'd rate the experience a 7/10 would do again.
: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)17:51:26 No.781496673 >Be me >Taking to friend >Says he f----- a Gatorade bottle and it felt really good >Decide to try it out later that day >D--- doesn't fit 154 KB PNG >idea.jpeg >Stick soft c--- in bottle and watch p--- until it's hard >When I achieved about a half chub I realized I f----- up >Try to pull out c--- but it was too late >Bottle squeezing my d--- with the force of 10 Ben Shapiros >On the ground writhing in pain >Bottle acting like a super c--- ring and keeping my d--- hard for over 10 minutes >Bust a fat nut in the gatorade bottle >Finally get my d--- out about a minute later Overall l'd rate the experience a 7/10 would do again.

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Anon gets advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:17:47 No.799888486 > Be me > Goes downstairs to the condo's gym > 9/10 girl on one of the treadmills > Says hi > Hops on the other treadmill 22 KB JPG besides her > She's perfect: 1.60m / mid to large boobs / brunette > We're both running and share some glances > She finishes her exercise > Smiles at me before leaving and says "goodbye" > feelsgoodman.jpg I've seen other girls there, but your average 5 or 6/10. Never such perfection. : Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:19:22 No.799888586 >>799888486 (OP) # Break into her house and c-- in her shampoo
: Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:17:47 No.799888486 > Be me > Goes downstairs to the condo's gym > 9/10 girl on one of the treadmills > Says hi > Hops on the other treadmill 22 KB JPG besides her > She's perfect: 1.60m / mid to large boobs / brunette > We're both running and share some glances > She finishes her exercise > Smiles at me before leaving and says "goodbye" > feelsgoodman.jpg I've seen other girls there, but your average 5 or 6/10. Never such perfection. : Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:19:22 No.799888586 >>799888486 (OP) # Break into her house and c-- in her shampoo

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Anon has a new femanon friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/19(Sat)11:22:53 No.50255501 >Make female friend in class >Little older than me, but still smaller than me and hot as hell >Starts inviting me out for coffee after class, just me and her 648 KB PNG >Text each other constantly >Goes on for about a month >Totally convinced she likes me, thinking about making a move >One day start talking about cats, say 'd never want one >"But anon, what if your future husband wants one?" >Silence, we just stare at each other >"...you're gay, right anon?" What the f--- I f------ hate women
: Anonymous 01/05/19(Sat)11:22:53 No.50255501 >Make female friend in class >Little older than me, but still smaller than me and hot as hell >Starts inviting me out for coffee after class, just me and her 648 KB PNG >Text each other constantly >Goes on for about a month >Totally convinced she likes me, thinking about making a move >One day start talking about cats, say 'd never want one >"But anon, what if your future husband wants one?" >Silence, we just stare at each other >"...you're gay, right anon?" What the f--- I f------ hate women

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Anon takes in a movie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/14(Sun)23:45:49 No.29298147 >ask girl out on a date >she says yes sask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare 153 KB JPG >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >he drops us off >as I'm getting out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >l clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >I roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date
Anonymous 10/26/14(Sun)23:45:49 No.29298147 >ask girl out on a date >she says yes sask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare 153 KB JPG >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >he drops us off >as I'm getting out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >l clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >I roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date

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Anon works | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 КВ PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 КВ PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"

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Anon is no longer depressed | /r/Greentext

Hitler plays among us 09/25/20(Fri)18:20:59 No.526132461 >Be me sick & depressed loser >Play among us >Name myself "Der Führer" >shitsandgiggles.jpeg >Go to Euro f-- servers >Join game 11 KB GIF >Players see name >Everyone says "heil hitler" >mfw when playing with actual nazis >Random f-- calls me sus >Everyone votes him out >Everyone says "heil" >Thirdreich.mp4 >Emergency meetings left and right >Purging un loyal players >Players say "what do >"Take him to ze camp" you think my führer" %3D >mfw when I'm actually important in life >Players say "heil" every meeting >No heil = sus >Horrified I turned game into nazi germany >shitmypants.zip >Imposter sent to camp >Game finishes >Decide that's enough games >Become cured >No longer sick & depressed
Hitler plays among us 09/25/20(Fri)18:20:59 No.526132461 >Be me sick & depressed loser >Play among us >Name myself "Der Führer" >shitsandgiggles.jpeg >Go to Euro f-- servers >Join game 11 KB GIF >Players see name >Everyone says "heil hitler" >mfw when playing with actual nazis >Random f-- calls me sus >Everyone votes him out >Everyone says "heil" >Thirdreich.mp4 >Emergency meetings left and right >Purging un loyal players >Players say "what do >"Take him to ze camp" you think my führer" %3D >mfw when I'm actually important in life >Players say "heil" every meeting >No heil = sus >Horrified I turned game into nazi germany >shitmypants.zip >Imposter sent to camp >Game finishes >Decide that's enough games >Become cured >No longer sick & depressed

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Anon is getting old | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49679001 16 mins ago •.. >tfw you ask people how old do they think you are and they say 30 >tfw I was offered a seat on the bus yesterday I'm only 27 I still have time.. 181.9 kB JPG
Anonymous | 49679001 16 mins ago •.. >tfw you ask people how old do they think you are and they say 30 >tfw I was offered a seat on the bus yesterday I'm only 27 I still have time.. 181.9 kB JPG

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anon is a excited easily | /r/Greentext

File: CA08378A-9CA4-4340-BA25-6(...).jpg (289 KB, 640x663) EXODUS 17A/ U Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)16:56:51 No.849605257 [Reply] >girl looks at me and smiles >i immediately get an erection what the f--- have i become
File: CA08378A-9CA4-4340-BA25-6(...).jpg (289 KB, 640x663) EXODUS 17A/ U Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)16:56:51 No.849605257 [Reply] >girl looks at me and smiles >i immediately get an erection what the f--- have i become

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Anon is born | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)11:07:36 No.849648570 >one chance at life >born in Bosnia and Herzegovina 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)11:07:36 No.849648570 >one chance at life >born in Bosnia and Herzegovina 45 KB JPG

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Anon has a hot mom | /r/Greentext


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Anon was happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/20(Sun)08:59:18 No.56866189 >be me, lonely guy >go out at night walking around my city >suddenly see a group of people >go up to them and start a conversation, we hit it off >everyone finds me funny and nice, 8 KB JPG there are a few girls in the group as well who are into me >we all grab some beers and go to a park and sit on the grass >sit with them for three hours, it feels like no time has passed at all >at the end we make a group chat on WhatsApp and plan to meet up again >happiest l've felt in years >wake up
: Anonymous 02/23/20(Sun)08:59:18 No.56866189 >be me, lonely guy >go out at night walking around my city >suddenly see a group of people >go up to them and start a conversation, we hit it off >everyone finds me funny and nice, 8 KB JPG there are a few girls in the group as well who are into me >we all grab some beers and go to a park and sit on the grass >sit with them for three hours, it feels like no time has passed at all >at the end we make a group chat on WhatsApp and plan to meet up again >happiest l've felt in years >wake up

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Anon has lucid dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)11:13:36 No.27427172 >read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" | immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >I can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night I'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes 14 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)11:13:36 No.27427172 >read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" | immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >I can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night I'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes 14 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon likes pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my “friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >I smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there
: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my “friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >I smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there

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Anon thinks he's special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:24:41 No.53599618 >be me in highschool >one day the teacher asks the class what album or song he should play >most of the class asked him to play lil pump or BTS or whatever s--- to have the teacher play >teacher picks me and I say Master of Puppets album from Metallica >he plays it and the entire class is saying to pick 73 KB JPG something else >MFW I'm the only one that enjoys rock and metal music of my class >MFW everyone is saying that it's garbage : Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:28:12 No.53599650 >>53599618 (OP) # Yeah you were born in the wrong generation huh? Take your boomer rock and f--- off to the nursing home. >>53599805 #
: Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:24:41 No.53599618 >be me in highschool >one day the teacher asks the class what album or song he should play >most of the class asked him to play lil pump or BTS or whatever s--- to have the teacher play >teacher picks me and I say Master of Puppets album from Metallica >he plays it and the entire class is saying to pick 73 KB JPG something else >MFW I'm the only one that enjoys rock and metal music of my class >MFW everyone is saying that it's garbage : Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:28:12 No.53599650 >>53599618 (OP) # Yeah you were born in the wrong generation huh? Take your boomer rock and f--- off to the nursing home. >>53599805 #

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Anon is sad. I'm sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/17(Thu)23:08:41 No.738807804 >be me >riding my motorcycle >get hit by a car >damn it hurts but I walk it off >the girl that hit me is hammered >call 911 because she has a 60 KB JPG massive gash on her head >she's off to the ambulance >after the crash we get to know each other >she's tall, blonde and cute >we begin to date after 6 months of talking >3 years later >got married and my wife just got pregnant. We have a house on the bottom of a beautiful hill >reminds me of Bliss >kek >1 year later >my 3 month old son is growing so fast. >drive him to the doctor's office for a checkup >turn left >a car heading towards me >l swerve out of the way holding my son >l wake up in a hospital >I had gotten into a motorcycle crash 3 weeks ago >but wasn't In a car? >been in a coma the whole time >l ask what happened to the driver >she died I want my family back.
: Anonymous 07/13/17(Thu)23:08:41 No.738807804 >be me >riding my motorcycle >get hit by a car >damn it hurts but I walk it off >the girl that hit me is hammered >call 911 because she has a 60 KB JPG massive gash on her head >she's off to the ambulance >after the crash we get to know each other >she's tall, blonde and cute >we begin to date after 6 months of talking >3 years later >got married and my wife just got pregnant. We have a house on the bottom of a beautiful hill >reminds me of Bliss >kek >1 year later >my 3 month old son is growing so fast. >drive him to the doctor's office for a checkup >turn left >a car heading towards me >l swerve out of the way holding my son >l wake up in a hospital >I had gotten into a motorcycle crash 3 weeks ago >but wasn't In a car? >been in a coma the whole time >l ask what happened to the driver >she died I want my family back.

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Anon has a fren | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/19(Wed)15:59:52 No.805441893 >be me 25 >basicslly no friends irl no one cares for me >parents ignore me because i grew up to become a failure >work as car mechanic 245 KB JPG >been smoking weed for 9 years daily >order my stuff from a guy who ive known from school >he basically has anything Weed, speed, Mdma, even heroin or Crocodile and some s--- > works like this i have 2 letterboxes infront of my house >one for usual mail one for him >he has a key i have one i put money inside text him what i want he takes money and leaves the weed > never disapointed me > decide to end my lofe because its s--- no love no friends no family only weed vidya car repairs and me > text him i want heroin about 1 gram > come home from work next day open "drug letterbox" > find a Blunt and a note Note reads:"Hey anon, come around sometime im always home after 7pm" and an adress in my city written on Friday 7:30 pm >go to adress >ring doorbell >dealer opens door >a burst off weed smell hits me in the face with the force of a thousand raging gods >we go inside >sit on couch >he asks why i want the H >tell him i wanted to od >we sit there for 4 hours tslking and smoking >he tells me i can come around whenever i want >calls me a friend >even gives me discount on weed if i promise him not to order anything else >promise him >mfw someone cared for me >MFW someone called me friend for the first time in years Thanks dealer fren
: Anonymous 07/24/19(Wed)15:59:52 No.805441893 >be me 25 >basicslly no friends irl no one cares for me >parents ignore me because i grew up to become a failure >work as car mechanic 245 KB JPG >been smoking weed for 9 years daily >order my stuff from a guy who ive known from school >he basically has anything Weed, speed, Mdma, even heroin or Crocodile and some s--- > works like this i have 2 letterboxes infront of my house >one for usual mail one for him >he has a key i have one i put money inside text him what i want he takes money and leaves the weed > never disapointed me > decide to end my lofe because its s--- no love no friends no family only weed vidya car repairs and me > text him i want heroin about 1 gram > come home from work next day open "drug letterbox" > find a Blunt and a note Note reads:"Hey anon, come around sometime im always home after 7pm" and an adress in my city written on Friday 7:30 pm >go to adress >ring doorbell >dealer opens door >a burst off weed smell hits me in the face with the force of a thousand raging gods >we go inside >sit on couch >he asks why i want the H >tell him i wanted to od >we sit there for 4 hours tslking and smoking >he tells me i can come around whenever i want >calls me a friend >even gives me discount on weed if i promise him not to order anything else >promise him >mfw someone cared for me >MFW someone called me friend for the first time in years Thanks dealer fren

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Anon's first post | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:00 No.847744971 >be me >decide to finally make a post on 4chan after years of lurking >nobody responds >keep waiting >keep waiting >keep waiting 70 KB JPG >the only person who responds calls me a f----- >post dies >even in a website full of losers I'm a bigger one then all of them >mfw : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:55 No.847745022 f-----
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:00 No.847744971 >be me >decide to finally make a post on 4chan after years of lurking >nobody responds >keep waiting >keep waiting >keep waiting 70 KB JPG >the only person who responds calls me a f----- >post dies >even in a website full of losers I'm a bigger one then all of them >mfw : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:55 No.847745022 f-----

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