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Anon’s brother almost cracks his head | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Did my brother tried to kill m(...) 05/17/21(Mon)12:58:57 No.63712176 > Be me working with brother on some stupid s--- > Brother is holding a 16 inches pipe wrench (pic related) > All of the blank he swings it really f------ quick at my head, but doesnt hit me, but he was centimeters away from 1.6 MB PNG doing so > I tell him that what the f---? > He says he was trying to scare away a fly Did my brother just tried to kill me? : Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)13:15:10 No.63712346 >>63712176 (OP) # yes. kill him first >>63712518 # : Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)13:15:46 No.63712355 >>63712176 (OP) # no. kill him first
: Anonymous Did my brother tried to kill m(...) 05/17/21(Mon)12:58:57 No.63712176 > Be me working with brother on some stupid s--- > Brother is holding a 16 inches pipe wrench (pic related) > All of the blank he swings it really f------ quick at my head, but doesnt hit me, but he was centimeters away from 1.6 MB PNG doing so > I tell him that what the f---? > He says he was trying to scare away a fly Did my brother just tried to kill me? : Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)13:15:10 No.63712346 >>63712176 (OP) # yes. kill him first >>63712518 # : Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)13:15:46 No.63712355 >>63712176 (OP) # no. kill him first

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Anon gets the last laugh | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/18(Fri)15:30:41 No.48266835 >get bullied in school >girls rejected me >parents didn't give me enough attention >grow up to be a NEET incel drain on society take that, f------ 14 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 09/21/18(Fri)15:30:41 No.48266835 >get bullied in school >girls rejected me >parents didn't give me enough attention >grow up to be a NEET incel drain on society take that, f------ 14 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is a good friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)17:27:47 No.63686264 >Hey Bro, you left your shoes here 29 KB JPG Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)17:31:13 No.63686317 >Oh, thanks bro. Youre a good friend.
Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)17:27:47 No.63686264 >Hey Bro, you left your shoes here 29 KB JPG Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)17:31:13 No.63686317 >Oh, thanks bro. Youre a good friend.

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Anon discovers drop tests | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)04:29:04 No.854621780 drop test video >guy drops object that is being tested >it brakes guys on the ground : >yoooooo hooooolly shid and fard, how is that possible 7 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)04:29:04 No.854621780 drop test video >guy drops object that is being tested >it brakes guys on the ground : >yoooooo hooooolly shid and fard, how is that possible 7 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon gets a divorce. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES
Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES

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Anon experiences true freedom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)15:49:06 No.62938342 >family is on vacation >get the whole house to myself >buy beer and eat mcdonalds >can make as much noise as I can okay, now this is based and what true freedom feels like. 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)15:49:06 No.62938342 >family is on vacation >get the whole house to myself >buy beer and eat mcdonalds >can make as much noise as I can okay, now this is based and what true freedom feels like. 6 KB JPG

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Anon uses logic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon watches MILF porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up :Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu) 11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something
: Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me >19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class 41 KB JPG >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up :Anonymous 05/10/18(Thu) 11:55:54 No.45281651 >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something

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Anons boss is a memer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY

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Anon is making frens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)21:28:17 No.854597956 Is it too late to make new friends at 28? 49 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)21:28:53 No.854597997 I'll be your fren
: Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)21:28:17 No.854597956 Is it too late to make new friends at 28? 49 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/16/21(Sun)21:28:53 No.854597997 I'll be your fren

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Anon loses a /b/ro.... | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related
>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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Anon has been lied to | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: izbFOSop 05/17/21(Mon)10:45:09 No.12763197 >be me >meet sweet Russian girl on snap >aw yeah time to get me a based redpilled Russian gf >we get talking and send pics of our faces to each other >she's a 9/10 >she says she likes me and thinks 44 KB JPG I'm handsome >ask how Russia is >"it is okay. New generation is more tolerable and anti racist" >"Russian men are racist and homophobic which is not good" >mfw Russiabros w--? I thought your women were based? I was lied to. 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: izbFOSop 05/17/21(Mon)10:45:09 No.12763197 >be me >meet sweet Russian girl on snap >aw yeah time to get me a based redpilled Russian gf >we get talking and send pics of our faces to each other >she's a 9/10 >she says she likes me and thinks 44 KB JPG I'm handsome >ask how Russia is >"it is okay. New generation is more tolerable and anti racist" >"Russian men are racist and homophobic which is not good" >mfw Russiabros w--? I thought your women were based? I was lied to. 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is conceived in iran | /r/Greentext

>be me >have one shot at life >born gay in iran mfw PNG 429.57 KB
>be me >have one shot at life >born gay in iran mfw PNG 429.57 KB

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Anon is conscripted into the military | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "00000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week
>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "00000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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Anon fights for our country | /r/Greentext


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Anon doesn't get fooled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 min. ago >look kid, losing your virginity is not gonna make your life better. Lay down here, l'll show you. w-what's the correct move here? 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous 5 min. ago >>52564939 (OP) >Put her in a choke hold and hold a knife to her throat >Call out to the men that were hiding in wait to ambush you once your guard was down >Use her a hostage/shield to exit the building >Cut her face once you're outside then run If you think you're g----------- and not having your organs harvested then you're already dead.
Anonymous 9 min. ago >look kid, losing your virginity is not gonna make your life better. Lay down here, l'll show you. w-what's the correct move here? 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY Anonymous 5 min. ago >>52564939 (OP) >Put her in a choke hold and hold a knife to her throat >Call out to the men that were hiding in wait to ambush you once your guard was down >Use her a hostage/shield to exit the building >Cut her face once you're outside then run If you think you're g----------- and not having your organs harvested then you're already dead.

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