Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon is a professional retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I HATE BEING A ROBOT 06/24/21(Thu)14:33:40 No.64289325 >Be at airport >Plane leaves in two hours >Decide to go the airport restaurant >Order some food >Kinda nervous about flying, only done it a few times before 8 KB JPG >Call parents to calm my nerves >Food arrives, get some water >Friends detect l'm nervous, try to cheer me up >Water arrives >Girl who gives me it is supermodel-tier 10/10 >Immediately lock up, total robot moment >Start shaking really bad when she puts the water down >Know that she knows >Feel like I'm going to be sick, s--- myself and c-- at the same time >She turns and leaves >Shaking so bad >My gf gives me a hug >l move to hug her back, accidentally knock over the water >Shitshitshitshitshit >Realise I'm going to have to ask the 10/10 for a tissue >Nope.jpg >Pay for the food whilst trying to ignore the giant puddle >Leave immediately, tell my friends I don't feel good >Spend next two hours playing candy crush >Still thinking about it a week later WHY AM I LIKE THIS???
: Anonymous I HATE BEING A ROBOT 06/24/21(Thu)14:33:40 No.64289325 >Be at airport >Plane leaves in two hours >Decide to go the airport restaurant >Order some food >Kinda nervous about flying, only done it a few times before 8 KB JPG >Call parents to calm my nerves >Food arrives, get some water >Friends detect l'm nervous, try to cheer me up >Water arrives >Girl who gives me it is supermodel-tier 10/10 >Immediately lock up, total robot moment >Start shaking really bad when she puts the water down >Know that she knows >Feel like I'm going to be sick, s--- myself and c-- at the same time >She turns and leaves >Shaking so bad >My gf gives me a hug >l move to hug her back, accidentally knock over the water >Shitshitshitshitshit >Realise I'm going to have to ask the 10/10 for a tissue >Nope.jpg >Pay for the food whilst trying to ignore the giant puddle >Leave immediately, tell my friends I don't feel good >Spend next two hours playing candy crush >Still thinking about it a week later WHY AM I LIKE THIS???

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon has weird tastes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)21:47:25 No.849212403 >Be me >Love picking scabs >Have picked scabs since a child >Covered in scars >Have several open scabs at all times 36 KB JPG >Try keep them open so they remain dry and not fleshy, so I can pick them off better >Aim to not make the scabs bleed as I pick them >Eat the scabs >Have one scab thats been open for almost 2 years >Love the scab >Have eaten from it almost every day Why do I do this?
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)21:47:25 No.849212403 >Be me >Love picking scabs >Have picked scabs since a child >Covered in scars >Have several open scabs at all times 36 KB JPG >Try keep them open so they remain dry and not fleshy, so I can pick them off better >Aim to not make the scabs bleed as I pick them >Eat the scabs >Have one scab thats been open for almost 2 years >Love the scab >Have eaten from it almost every day Why do I do this?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon DM’s a jojo reference | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/19(Mon)02:13:41 No.68628658 >Be me >DMing a party for Curse of Strahd, 5e >Giving very brief description of module, something about traveling across the lands to defeat an ultra-powerful vampire lord 100 KB JPG >See players all start to look at each other >One asks if all the players can have known each other before the game started >"Sure" >They tell me they'll make the party >l ask if they're sure they want to do this on their own, as I usually help them with character creation >They ensure me they've got it this time >Not even a day later on Discord >Realize all my players are weebs as they send me pic related and ask if it's okay if they play them for this campaign >Can't tell if they're serious >Haven't responded yet I can't tell if this will be the worst or best game I'm about to DM : Anonymous 09/30/19(Mon)02:31:06 No.68628877 >>68628658_(OP) # Do it. You have to do it. Assume they're serious until proven otherwise. FIVE DIOS 63 KB PNG
: Anonymous 09/30/19(Mon)02:13:41 No.68628658 >Be me >DMing a party for Curse of Strahd, 5e >Giving very brief description of module, something about traveling across the lands to defeat an ultra-powerful vampire lord 100 KB JPG >See players all start to look at each other >One asks if all the players can have known each other before the game started >"Sure" >They tell me they'll make the party >l ask if they're sure they want to do this on their own, as I usually help them with character creation >They ensure me they've got it this time >Not even a day later on Discord >Realize all my players are weebs as they send me pic related and ask if it's okay if they play them for this campaign >Can't tell if they're serious >Haven't responded yet I can't tell if this will be the worst or best game I'm about to DM : Anonymous 09/30/19(Mon)02:31:06 No.68628877 >>68628658_(OP) # Do it. You have to do it. Assume they're serious until proven otherwise. FIVE DIOS 63 KB PNG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon's b-day | /r/Greentext

File: images.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)08:15:45 No.64286630 >be me >Today is my birthday >No friends or anyone to celebrate >Supposed to be sad because social stigma >Choose not to be and have a good night >Pic related And that's how you flip their normie script boys O Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)08:17:42 No.64286645 File: mg7wjnt4wqr41.jpg (93 KB, 1125x1107) Happy birth date anniversary anon
File: images.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)08:15:45 No.64286630 >be me >Today is my birthday >No friends or anyone to celebrate >Supposed to be sad because social stigma >Choose not to be and have a good night >Pic related And that's how you flip their normie script boys O Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)08:17:42 No.64286645 File: mg7wjnt4wqr41.jpg (93 KB, 1125x1107) Happy birth date anniversary anon

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism

Anon doesn't like women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Do you think you will be MGTOW(...) 06/24/21(Thu)12:31:44 No.64287025 when you are older will you >see blackpills daily about the evils of women >last one was about a guy giving up his dream of being a doctor for his high school sweetheart to be a dad 413 KB JPG >has 3 kids and reach their 50s together >daughter does DNA test and turns out this guys wife had an 11 year affair with neighbor and none of the kids are his >kills himself I just cant even like females anymore besides sexually wanting to f--- them Im coming to the conclusion even when they want to settle because they are getting ugly and old that they wont be loyal at all so I will have to accept being alone vs being with those selfish things caring for one
: Anonymous Do you think you will be MGTOW(...) 06/24/21(Thu)12:31:44 No.64287025 when you are older will you >see blackpills daily about the evils of women >last one was about a guy giving up his dream of being a doctor for his high school sweetheart to be a dad 413 KB JPG >has 3 kids and reach their 50s together >daughter does DNA test and turns out this guys wife had an 11 year affair with neighbor and none of the kids are his >kills himself I just cant even like females anymore besides sexually wanting to f--- them Im coming to the conclusion even when they want to settle because they are getting ugly and old that they wont be loyal at all so I will have to accept being alone vs being with those selfish things caring for one

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon hustles | /r/Greentext

No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars
No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture terrestrial plant font

We all know anon is lying about having a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)10:07:14 No.63077507 >used to have a hot ass gf >big ass DD t--- and skinny >they were perky and super nice >looked like tessa fowler or gianna michaels type s--- >miss them and still j------- to them 38 KB JPG >she has kids now and its been years and im pretty sure shes fat and destroyed >i lost a bunch of the pictures since then so ive just been jerking off to them same ones 10 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)10:36:12 No.63077832 >>63077507 (OP) # Well anon i come to r9k nowadays to laugh at people, so how or why did you lose her?
: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)10:07:14 No.63077507 >used to have a hot ass gf >big ass DD t--- and skinny >they were perky and super nice >looked like tessa fowler or gianna michaels type s--- >miss them and still j------- to them 38 KB JPG >she has kids now and its been years and im pretty sure shes fat and destroyed >i lost a bunch of the pictures since then so ive just been jerking off to them same ones 10 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)10:36:12 No.63077832 >>63077507 (OP) # Well anon i come to r9k nowadays to laugh at people, so how or why did you lose her?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

anon finds a loli | /r/Greentext

>be me, work at pizza place >sometimes a little girl will come in and pick up a pizza by herself every week or so >female staff love her and know her by name >i always thought she lived across the street or something >today she came in soaked from head to toe >find out she lives a mile away >mfw this little loli walked a mile in the rain to pick up a pizza
>be me, work at pizza place >sometimes a little girl will come in and pick up a pizza by herself every week or so >female staff love her and know her by name >i always thought she lived across the street or something >today she came in soaked from head to toe >find out she lives a mile away >mfw this little loli walked a mile in the rain to pick up a pizza

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext eyelash smile jaw gesture font happy

Anons tinder match hasn't done DMT | /r/Greentext

No.244428596 hours ago 1601829110194.jpg JPG 336.1 KIB 2000x1000 >match with girl >Get her number >Text >Asks me what type of podcasts I like >l tell her I listen to Joe rogan >She says "...seriously dude?" >Me: "hell yeah I love joe rogan!" >She gives me a peace sign emoji >"Unable to deliver message" 11 >Check tinder >She unmatched me Why does this s--- happen? 3 replies
No.244428596 hours ago 1601829110194.jpg JPG 336.1 KIB 2000x1000 >match with girl >Get her number >Text >Asks me what type of podcasts I like >l tell her I listen to Joe rogan >She says "...seriously dude?" >Me: "hell yeah I love joe rogan!" >She gives me a peace sign emoji >"Unable to deliver message" 11 >Check tinder >She unmatched me Why does this s--- happen? 3 replies

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture

Anon doesn’t like Steven Coward | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)04:36:49 No.857528642 >Loser who hangs around college campuses he is not enrolled at >Picks fights with retarded freshmen cause he thinks it makes him look good >Picks fight with some 80 KB JPG other retard online >Retard brings along a professional >NoShows because of professional >Cries online about how unfair the retard was to him Why is the right so full of cowards?
: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)04:36:49 No.857528642 >Loser who hangs around college campuses he is not enrolled at >Picks fights with retarded freshmen cause he thinks it makes him look good >Picks fight with some 80 KB JPG other retard online >Retard brings along a professional >NoShows because of professional >Cries online about how unfair the retard was to him Why is the right so full of cowards?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext sleeve font

Anon hates the therapy crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)08:27:17 No.857553114 >be me >depressed as f--- >contemplating suicide >try to see therapist >every single therapist in the entire state is taking no Mron nerged 102 KB JPG patients >go to gp >says the hospital has a therapist and refers her to me >have to wait three weeks to see her >have a somewhat awkward but good talk that lasts 50 minutes >my next session with her is in 2 months >f--- 2021 >f--- therapy crisis View Thread
: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)08:27:17 No.857553114 >be me >depressed as f--- >contemplating suicide >try to see therapist >every single therapist in the entire state is taking no Mron nerged 102 KB JPG patients >go to gp >says the hospital has a therapist and refers her to me >have to wait three weeks to see her >have a somewhat awkward but good talk that lasts 50 minutes >my next session with her is in 2 months >f--- 2021 >f--- therapy crisis View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Autismatic for the people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/21 (Wed)15:37:22 No.64279436 >be me >kinda feminine so people automatically assume l'm gay >haven't had any emotional or physical connection to a person in a long time >really f------ shy 59 KB PNG >don't understand social queues >never been able to get a gf >meet this one girl >think she understands me >shes really f------ cool, helps me a lot with emotions n stuff >thought this girl was flirting with me >she was really f------ hot, had the same sense of humor as me >finally ask her out >goes on a massive tangent about how she has no attraction to me and doesn't want me to get the wrong idea >next day starts telling me about boys she likes >flash forward a few months to today, been diagnosed with autism >just want a hug I know this isn't exactly the place to ask for advice on this stuff, just kinda wanted to get it out of my system. what am I doing wrong?
: Anonymous 06/23/21 (Wed)15:37:22 No.64279436 >be me >kinda feminine so people automatically assume l'm gay >haven't had any emotional or physical connection to a person in a long time >really f------ shy 59 KB PNG >don't understand social queues >never been able to get a gf >meet this one girl >think she understands me >shes really f------ cool, helps me a lot with emotions n stuff >thought this girl was flirting with me >she was really f------ hot, had the same sense of humor as me >finally ask her out >goes on a massive tangent about how she has no attraction to me and doesn't want me to get the wrong idea >next day starts telling me about boys she likes >flash forward a few months to today, been diagnosed with autism >just want a hug I know this isn't exactly the place to ask for advice on this stuff, just kinda wanted to get it out of my system. what am I doing wrong?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant font

DocAnon The Prequel | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/16(Thu)06:47:58 No.675573664 I Am Veteran Doctor >Be a new doctor >Very new >Man comes in with pains in the stomach >He said he hasn't ate in 4 days >Don't know what to do >Put leaches on his legs >After 17 jars he looks really pale >Are you a vampire? >"Nay" >That is what a vampire would say.manuscript >He is stabbed with a stake >He dies >l remember that vampires die if stabbed in the heart with wooden stake >He died so he must have been a vampire >King rewards me with 20 silver pieces and a nice hat >l am Doctor O reddit
Anonymous 03/24/16(Thu)06:47:58 No.675573664 I Am Veteran Doctor >Be a new doctor >Very new >Man comes in with pains in the stomach >He said he hasn't ate in 4 days >Don't know what to do >Put leaches on his legs >After 17 jars he looks really pale >Are you a vampire? >"Nay" >That is what a vampire would say.manuscript >He is stabbed with a stake >He dies >l remember that vampires die if stabbed in the heart with wooden stake >He died so he must have been a vampire >King rewards me with 20 silver pieces and a nice hat >l am Doctor O reddit

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon likes skittles | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Russian is a based language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [•19 06/23/21(Wed)06:11:44 No.147266204 >Because of the ISS, NASA astronauts have to learn fluent Russian >Because of Russian collaboration, chinese astronauts have to learn fluent Russian 7 KB JPG >In the future, Russian will be the language of space much like how English is the language of trade or French of the language of Africa
: Anonymous [•19 06/23/21(Wed)06:11:44 No.147266204 >Because of the ISS, NASA astronauts have to learn fluent Russian >Because of Russian collaboration, chinese astronauts have to learn fluent Russian 7 KB JPG >In the future, Russian will be the language of space much like how English is the language of trade or French of the language of Africa

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a rapper | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext