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/fit/anon goes to the gym in January | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)08:14:43 No.788894136 >be me >demi-chad >decent body but personality of an autistic shoebox >can't talk to women because of it 81 KB JPG >be going to gym as per the usual before work >arrive at gym >"wow there's a lot of cars here" >go inside >ohmyfuck.jpg >400lbs tendie lords all over the f------ place >clogging every treadmill >clogging every weight bench >at least 12 of them just sitting in locker room drinking Gatorade and protein shakes >whatever >go to front of gym to use dumbbells >as I finish doing curls I here a loud >CRACK >turn and see a human shrek hit the floor with the force of 10,000 double d back t--- >run over to help him off the floor and out of the wreckage of the Bench >f--- this I'm out >go get dressed for work and on my way out >see the receptionist beset upon by at least 14 of these goodboys I f------ hate the January.
: Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)08:14:43 No.788894136 >be me >demi-chad >decent body but personality of an autistic shoebox >can't talk to women because of it 81 KB JPG >be going to gym as per the usual before work >arrive at gym >"wow there's a lot of cars here" >go inside >ohmyfuck.jpg >400lbs tendie lords all over the f------ place >clogging every treadmill >clogging every weight bench >at least 12 of them just sitting in locker room drinking Gatorade and protein shakes >whatever >go to front of gym to use dumbbells >as I finish doing curls I here a loud >CRACK >turn and see a human shrek hit the floor with the force of 10,000 double d back t--- >run over to help him off the floor and out of the wreckage of the Bench >f--- this I'm out >go get dressed for work and on my way out >see the receptionist beset upon by at least 14 of these goodboys I f------ hate the January.

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Anon has a petting fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:09:21 No.784110934 > walk down street > girl walking her dog > dog starts walking towards me > she pulls the dog away > "don't bother him" LET ME PET YOUR F------ 49 KB JPG DOG
: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)08:09:21 No.784110934 > walk down street > girl walking her dog > dog starts walking towards me > she pulls the dog away > "don't bother him" LET ME PET YOUR F------ 49 KB JPG DOG

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Anon Tries to do Math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: /SuwHCIG) E 10/24/17(Tue)21:58:13 No.146515311 v >>146515527 >>146515584 >>146513681 f------ wot m8? 5 x 3 = 15 this is incorrect? are you literally retarded? Anonymous (ID: NrhdzZYN) E 10/24/17(Tue)22:00:45 No.146515584 v>>146515739 >>146515311 three doesnt go in to fifteen so you couldnt multiply it Anonymous (ID: VY9YSBT/) 10/24/17(Tue)22:02:13 No.146515739 >>146515815 >>146516392 1504663094614.jpg (47 KB, 645x968) >>146515584 >three doesnt go in to fifteen Anonymous (ID: NrhdzZYN) E 10/24/17(Tue)22:02:58 No.146515815 v >>146515935 >>146515957 >>146515739 its an odd number Anonymous (ID: VY9YSBT/) 10/24/17(Tue)22:04:16 No.146515957 v >>146516077 >>146516392 1504593851088.png (50 KB, 645x729) >>146515815 >three doesn't go in to fifteen >its an odd number Anonymous (ID: NrhdzZYN) I 10/24/17(Tue)22:05:28 No.146516077 v >>146516154 >>146516646 >>146516804 >>146515957 google if 15 is an odd number if you dont believe me Anonymous (ID: VY9YSBT/) 10/24/17(Tue)22:06:19 No.146516154 v >>146516268 >>146516384 >>146516392 1507803849500.png (58 KB, 645x729) >>146516077 >three doesn't go in to fifteen >its an odd number >google if 15 is an odd number if you dont believe me Anonymous (ID: NrhdzZYN) 10/24/17(Tue)22:08:16 No.146516384 >>146516590 >>146516881 >>146516954 >>146516154 put it in the calculator Anonymous (ID: VY9YSBT/) E 10/24/17(Tue)22:10:13 No.146516590 v 1508791306376.png (561 KB, 6144x6144) >>146516384 >three doesn't go in to fifteen >its an odd number >google if 15 is an odd number if you dont believe me >put it in the calculator
Anonymous (ID: /SuwHCIG) E 10/24/17(Tue)21:58:13 No.146515311 v >>146515527 >>146515584 >>146513681 f------ wot m8? 5 x 3 = 15 this is incorrect? are you literally retarded? Anonymous (ID: NrhdzZYN) E 10/24/17(Tue)22:00:45 No.146515584 v>>146515739 >>146515311 three doesnt go in to fifteen so you couldnt multiply it Anonymous (ID: VY9YSBT/) 10/24/17(Tue)22:02:13 No.146515739 >>146515815 >>146516392 1504663094614.jpg (47 KB, 645x968) >>146515584 >three doesnt go in to fifteen Anonymous (ID: NrhdzZYN) E 10/24/17(Tue)22:02:58 No.146515815 v >>146515935 >>146515957 >>146515739 its an odd number Anonymous (ID: VY9YSBT/) 10/24/17(Tue)22:04:16 No.146515957 v >>146516077 >>146516392 1504593851088.png (50 KB, 645x729) >>146515815 >three doesn't go in to fifteen >its an odd number Anonymous (ID: NrhdzZYN) I 10/24/17(Tue)22:05:28 No.146516077 v >>146516154 >>146516646 >>146516804 >>146515957 google if 15 is an odd number if you dont believe me Anonymous (ID: VY9YSBT/) 10/24/17(Tue)22:06:19 No.146516154 v >>146516268 >>146516384 >>146516392 1507803849500.png (58 KB, 645x729) >>146516077 >three doesn't go in to fifteen >its an odd number >google if 15 is an odd number if you dont believe me Anonymous (ID: NrhdzZYN) 10/24/17(Tue)22:08:16 No.146516384 >>146516590 >>146516881 >>146516954 >>146516154 put it in the calculator Anonymous (ID: VY9YSBT/) E 10/24/17(Tue)22:10:13 No.146516590 v 1508791306376.png (561 KB, 6144x6144) >>146516384 >three doesn't go in to fifteen >its an odd number >google if 15 is an odd number if you dont believe me >put it in the calculator

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Anon ponders on global warming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)10:48:13 No.843329524 >global warming causes sea levels to rise >rising sea levels flood coastal cities >flooding cities mean hundreds of millions of coastal bugmen are left homeless when everything they possess is washed away when their cities flood 37 KB JPG >coastal bugmen are now homeless refugees Remind me again why global warming is a bad thing?
: Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)10:48:13 No.843329524 >global warming causes sea levels to rise >rising sea levels flood coastal cities >flooding cities mean hundreds of millions of coastal bugmen are left homeless when everything they possess is washed away when their cities flood 37 KB JPG >coastal bugmen are now homeless refugees Remind me again why global warming is a bad thing?

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anon got in the wrong bus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous wrong bus 10/21/21(Thu)14:10:08 No.65844581 >be me, your typical 21y loser >get off from work >get on bus >halfway the road realize i got on the wrong bus >tell the driver to drop me off at the next stop or red light > walk home for the rest of the 8 KB JPG distance > never felt more alive in a long time for some reason > the weather was cloudy and windy, just howi like it >i used to take walks but never felt like i did today > when i got to the bottom of the stairs to my apartment i started feeling like s--- again 5 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous wrong bus 10/21/21(Thu)14:10:08 No.65844581 >be me, your typical 21y loser >get off from work >get on bus >halfway the road realize i got on the wrong bus >tell the driver to drop me off at the next stop or red light > walk home for the rest of the 8 KB JPG distance > never felt more alive in a long time for some reason > the weather was cloudy and windy, just howi like it >i used to take walks but never felt like i did today > when i got to the bottom of the stairs to my apartment i started feeling like s--- again 5 Replies View Thread

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Anon feels sorry | /r/Greentext

>>140705670 (OP) # >Sitting down in an empty public toilet cubicle taking a s--- >Some guy takes the stall next to me >Feel awkward, so I try to break the ice and ask him if he likes movies >He doesn't respond >Start getting nervous, repeat my question but this time louder >He says "not really" >Ask him if he's heard of Drive >He says "No" >Feel kinda mad and hit the wall of the stall that he's on in a fit of rage >Instantly regret it >Say "Sorry" >He doesn't respond >Feel really bad >Hold some money under the stall as a peace offering >He doesn't take it >Tell him to take it >He says no >Feel really freaked out so I wipe, get up and leave >Wait outside the door of the toilet to apologise >See him come out >Say "I just want to apologise" >He says "F--- off"
>>140705670 (OP) # >Sitting down in an empty public toilet cubicle taking a s--- >Some guy takes the stall next to me >Feel awkward, so I try to break the ice and ask him if he likes movies >He doesn't respond >Start getting nervous, repeat my question but this time louder >He says "not really" >Ask him if he's heard of Drive >He says "No" >Feel kinda mad and hit the wall of the stall that he's on in a fit of rage >Instantly regret it >Say "Sorry" >He doesn't respond >Feel really bad >Hold some money under the stall as a peace offering >He doesn't take it >Tell him to take it >He says no >Feel really freaked out so I wipe, get up and leave >Wait outside the door of the toilet to apologise >See him come out >Say "I just want to apologise" >He says "F--- off"

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Anon likes spiders | /r/Greentext

>be me >most people around my town are f--- that hate spiders >only person on my block not scared of spiders >spiders live in my room >mfw no fly or moth pisses me off again because spider bros cleaned them up >mfwI dont have to worry about bugs again Pepe and fren. 98,6 kB PNG
>be me >most people around my town are f--- that hate spiders >only person on my block not scared of spiders >spiders live in my room >mfw no fly or moth pisses me off again because spider bros cleaned them up >mfwI dont have to worry about bugs again Pepe and fren. 98,6 kB PNG

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Anon has his priorities | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)01:21:23 No.65843061 >tfw just spent $300 on lego that I needed for food and rent 198 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)01:21:23 No.65843061 >tfw just spent $300 on lego that I needed for food and rent 198 KB JPG

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Faulty mechanism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Evangelion after sex 10/21/21(Thu)03:54:18 No.65842903 >Had sex all night with a girl I like >woke up before her >Want to take a walk home, but think it could be rude to leave without telling her goodbye. >Go to her TV and turn on Netflix 347 KB PNG >See that she was watching Evangelion >Put it on and blast the opening at full volume >Oh s--- I woke her up >She comes sit next to me >Ask her if she wants to have sex again? >She says she is not in the mood because she is hanged over and her vagina is soar >She start talking about me going home because she got stuff to do >Somehow I do not get the cue and ask her if she would like to jerk me off, since her vagina is soar >She get super angry at me >W-- is wrong with me? >W-- did I not leave in the morning, to text her afterwards?
: Anonymous Evangelion after sex 10/21/21(Thu)03:54:18 No.65842903 >Had sex all night with a girl I like >woke up before her >Want to take a walk home, but think it could be rude to leave without telling her goodbye. >Go to her TV and turn on Netflix 347 KB PNG >See that she was watching Evangelion >Put it on and blast the opening at full volume >Oh s--- I woke her up >She comes sit next to me >Ask her if she wants to have sex again? >She says she is not in the mood because she is hanged over and her vagina is soar >She start talking about me going home because she got stuff to do >Somehow I do not get the cue and ask her if she would like to jerk me off, since her vagina is soar >She get super angry at me >W-- is wrong with me? >W-- did I not leave in the morning, to text her afterwards?

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Anon is in racial veteran difficulty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)10:34:47 No.865316748 >be born half black half white Hispanic >Blacks don't like me because light skin and Hispanic >Hispanics don't like me because half black >Whites call me Dorito the explorer 509 KB JPG Who the f--- set my life to veteran difficulty. Seriously, f--- you!
: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)10:34:47 No.865316748 >be born half black half white Hispanic >Blacks don't like me because light skin and Hispanic >Hispanics don't like me because half black >Whites call me Dorito the explorer 509 KB JPG Who the f--- set my life to veteran difficulty. Seriously, f--- you!

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Two and a Half Men | /r/Greentext


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Anon is Potentially Racist | /r/Greentext


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Service is spotty | /r/Greentext


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Professional Survivalist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SigXH9xF 10/20/21(Wed)13:27:49 No.344164275 >van life Youtuber goes on the run into the wilderness with little supplies >dies BRIAN LAUNDRIE LAW ENFORCEMENT FINDS HUMAN REMAINS Near Brian's Belongings This s--- is too retarded to be real 121 KB JPG 47 Replies / 10 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: SigXH9xF 10/20/21(Wed)13:27:49 No.344164275 >van life Youtuber goes on the run into the wilderness with little supplies >dies BRIAN LAUNDRIE LAW ENFORCEMENT FINDS HUMAN REMAINS Near Brian's Belongings This s--- is too retarded to be real 121 KB JPG 47 Replies / 10 Images View Thread

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Anon drops his cents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it Todo lo que no se reproduce no es de Dios 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml
: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it Todo lo que no se reproduce no es de Dios 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml

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Anon hates Reddit Mods | /r/Greentext


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anon is in disbelief | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)07:17:47 No.29131 >yeah bro you just take the flying tube to the other side of the world! it's that simple! does anyone actually believe in this s---? 212 KB JPG
Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)07:17:47 No.29131 >yeah bro you just take the flying tube to the other side of the world! it's that simple! does anyone actually believe in this s---? 212 KB JPG

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Anon is trying to be Jesus Christ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)15:40:45 No.61062269 >I'm 27 and don't enjoy anything anymore >read the New Testament >become a Christian >Start practicing nofap >get a job 80 KB JPG >fix my relationship with my parents >start fasting and exercising frequently >quit p--- and m----------- >start practicing guitar >meditate everyday for 15 minutes >suddenly everything becomes enjoyable again >Even the sunlight is beautiful >walking down a forest trail is incredible >feel the best I've felt in years I'm 27 and I'm starting to enjoy things again. Is this the beginning of the road?
: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)15:40:45 No.61062269 >I'm 27 and don't enjoy anything anymore >read the New Testament >become a Christian >Start practicing nofap >get a job 80 KB JPG >fix my relationship with my parents >start fasting and exercising frequently >quit p--- and m----------- >start practicing guitar >meditate everyday for 15 minutes >suddenly everything becomes enjoyable again >Even the sunlight is beautiful >walking down a forest trail is incredible >feel the best I've felt in years I'm 27 and I'm starting to enjoy things again. Is this the beginning of the road?

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Anon gets mail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/21(Wed)22:30:18 No.865300402 >>865294273 # >be me >in basic training >mail time >drill sergeant inspects every package to make sure there is no contraband 181 KB JPG >my name is called >ohshit.jpeg >my first letter >can't believe somebody actually sent me something >expecting a letter from mom or something >it's a thick letter from my friends back home >uh oh >drill sergeant opens the letter and dumps out the contents because he's an a------ >out pours streams of gay bara and trap p--- and hentai on photocopy paper >a never ending stream >everyone looking in shock, comrades laughing like hyenas >drill picks up the main letter and reads it aloud >"hey anon, you told me in your last letter that you were fantasizing about the cute boys in your platoon and thought you might like some material to hold you over, enjoy XOXO" >i am horrified >platoon mates are howling >even the drills are laughing their asses off >have to throw away the p--- because it's contraband >rest of basic get called "jigglypuff" by the drills because it sounds gay and it catches on to the rest of the company
: Anonymous 10/20/21(Wed)22:30:18 No.865300402 >>865294273 # >be me >in basic training >mail time >drill sergeant inspects every package to make sure there is no contraband 181 KB JPG >my name is called >ohshit.jpeg >my first letter >can't believe somebody actually sent me something >expecting a letter from mom or something >it's a thick letter from my friends back home >uh oh >drill sergeant opens the letter and dumps out the contents because he's an a------ >out pours streams of gay bara and trap p--- and hentai on photocopy paper >a never ending stream >everyone looking in shock, comrades laughing like hyenas >drill picks up the main letter and reads it aloud >"hey anon, you told me in your last letter that you were fantasizing about the cute boys in your platoon and thought you might like some material to hold you over, enjoy XOXO" >i am horrified >platoon mates are howling >even the drills are laughing their asses off >have to throw away the p--- because it's contraband >rest of basic get called "jigglypuff" by the drills because it sounds gay and it catches on to the rest of the company

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Anon got a compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:36:28 No.62896081 >girl in 11th grade once said I have pretty eyebrows and the girl next to her agreed >still remember it to this day 195 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:36:28 No.62896081 >girl in 11th grade once said I have pretty eyebrows and the girl next to her agreed >still remember it to this day 195 KB PNG

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