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op receives an act of kindness in japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)23:32:31 No.2083467 > be in tokyo with family > go out late, and end up getting stuck at random subway station 30 minutes away from where we actually needed to go > random japanese dude walks up to us and asks us in perfect english “are you guys lost? do you guys need any help?" > all of us obviously say yes > walks with us out of the station > end up talking to him and learn more about each other as we walk > he explains that he's lived in japan and another english speaking country (not coming to my head rn) and that he understands the confusion of the japanese subway. > takes us to where the taxis are located, and tells the taxi driver exactly where to go > thank him for his help > see him walk back to the station as we pull away i wonder how he's doing now. i miss him. he literally went out of his way to help us. :(
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)23:32:31 No.2083467 > be in tokyo with family > go out late, and end up getting stuck at random subway station 30 minutes away from where we actually needed to go > random japanese dude walks up to us and asks us in perfect english “are you guys lost? do you guys need any help?" > all of us obviously say yes > walks with us out of the station > end up talking to him and learn more about each other as we walk > he explains that he's lived in japan and another english speaking country (not coming to my head rn) and that he understands the confusion of the japanese subway. > takes us to where the taxis are located, and tells the taxi driver exactly where to go > thank him for his help > see him walk back to the station as we pull away i wonder how he's doing now. i miss him. he literally went out of his way to help us. :(

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Anon gets stuck in Family Guy | /r/Greentext

>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" I immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night I'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes
>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" I immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night I'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes

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Anon farts | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a doctor | /r/Greentext

> be me > think i have diabetes > if your piss is sweet you are sick with it > decide to try it > piss in a spoon > try it, no taste, nothing > f---, maybe i have corona instead 4 KB PNG > maybe i can smell it? > smell piss > sniff a little bit of piss into my nose > its really salty > still have no taste of it > but i know i dont have diabetes >
> be me > think i have diabetes > if your piss is sweet you are sick with it > decide to try it > piss in a spoon > try it, no taste, nothing > f---, maybe i have corona instead 4 KB PNG > maybe i can smell it? > smell piss > sniff a little bit of piss into my nose > its really salty > still have no taste of it > but i know i dont have diabetes >

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Anon keeps his job. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/18(Mon)12:21:55 No.4398047 ITT: Post your arch-nemesis and why (ays I'll start. >Be me >In college >Work at burger place on campus (will be 560 KB JPG left unnamed for privacy) >Not fancy, but not fast food either >Theres this one tard that walks in pretty much every f------ day without his parents >hes like 10 or something >We'll call him Big Tard (he was, to put it lightly, very chubby) >Smells like he hasn't showered in his lifetime >No idea how he even gets here >Every time he comes, he asks for "poato chip" >We don't have potato chips >Whenever I tell him, he gets visibly upset and stands there a while, then f---- off >Tell my manager >She says not to worry about it, leave the guy alone, hes probably just a kid with a mental disability Fast forward to a week or so after I tell my manager >Big Tard comes in with a bright idea >Asks for "potato chip" as usual >I tell him the same thing, trying my best to stay calm >He shouts at the top of his lungs "WHERE IS MY POTATO CHIP" >hes never shouted like this before >tell him to calm down, i dont have any, tell him that theres a convenience store like 2 blocks away >"MOMMY SAID I CAN HAVE POTATO CHIP" >Throws an absolute f------ tantrum >People sitting down look at me like I've done something horrible >He eventually gets tired and leaves after like 10 minutes of tantruming >One customer goes up to me >"You can't treat that kid like that" >Explain >He asks for my manager >Manager gets p----- (she's kinda uptight) >She gives me an official warning >p----- the next day >Big Tard comes in >ohno.png >He does the same f------ thing as the previous day >Manager sees >She gets p----- AGAIN >noneofthisismyfault.jpg >She f------ WRITES ME UP >That night, I begin to plan revenge on my bitch of a boss, but mostly on Big Tard >Want to get them both in one blow >idea.mp4 >Run to store >Buy bag of potato chips The next day >Thursday >l have closing duty on Thursdays (will be important later) >big Tard walks in >Demands potato chip >Tell him that I can order some for him to be shipped in, but l'l need his mommy's phone number >He doesn't even f------ question it >An hour later, he shows up with a sticky note with a phone number on it >Note absolutely reeks, don't want to touch it, but the revenge will be worth it >Tell him to come tomorrow at 8 AM sharp (when the store opens) >Say that there will be potato chips right behind the counter no matter what >He's a little annoyed about waiting, but he f---- off for the day A few hours later >Everyone else leaves >Before closing >Tape potato chips under countertop The next day >Call in sick to work >Manager always is the one who covers the counter when I'm gone >Grab phone >Ask friend to drive me to restaurant >He agrees >Tell him to park across the street and stay for a while >He's a bit confused, but he listens >Big Tard waiting outside before store opens, desperate to get in >Pull out phone, open camera >Zoom in on Big Tard (brand new phone, so I can zoom in pretty far with decent video quality) >Start recording > Store opens >Manager hasn't noticed potato chips taped to counter >Big Tard walks in >Demands "potato chip" >Manager says the usual >He tells her about the order I supposedly placed >She has no clue >He gets f------ p----- >She says she has no clue what hes talking about >He climbs over the f------ counter >She tries to stop him >He f------ PUNCHES HER with all of his tard strength >He sees the chips I planted and immediately rips them out from the tape >Screams louder than ever before right into manager's ear "LIAR! LIAR! STEALING MY POTATO CHIP!" >She tries to restrain him >He kicks her shin and steps on her foot >Runs out the door >I have it all on video >Send to his mom The next day >Manager p----- at me but worth it >Big Tard walks in with mom >She apologizes for everything he's done >Big Tard never shows up again >Victory >>43981146 # >>43981764 # >>43982074 #
: Anonymous 03/19/18(Mon)12:21:55 No.4398047 ITT: Post your arch-nemesis and why (ays I'll start. >Be me >In college >Work at burger place on campus (will be 560 KB JPG left unnamed for privacy) >Not fancy, but not fast food either >Theres this one tard that walks in pretty much every f------ day without his parents >hes like 10 or something >We'll call him Big Tard (he was, to put it lightly, very chubby) >Smells like he hasn't showered in his lifetime >No idea how he even gets here >Every time he comes, he asks for "poato chip" >We don't have potato chips >Whenever I tell him, he gets visibly upset and stands there a while, then f---- off >Tell my manager >She says not to worry about it, leave the guy alone, hes probably just a kid with a mental disability Fast forward to a week or so after I tell my manager >Big Tard comes in with a bright idea >Asks for "potato chip" as usual >I tell him the same thing, trying my best to stay calm >He shouts at the top of his lungs "WHERE IS MY POTATO CHIP" >hes never shouted like this before >tell him to calm down, i dont have any, tell him that theres a convenience store like 2 blocks away >"MOMMY SAID I CAN HAVE POTATO CHIP" >Throws an absolute f------ tantrum >People sitting down look at me like I've done something horrible >He eventually gets tired and leaves after like 10 minutes of tantruming >One customer goes up to me >"You can't treat that kid like that" >Explain >He asks for my manager >Manager gets p----- (she's kinda uptight) >She gives me an official warning >p----- the next day >Big Tard comes in >ohno.png >He does the same f------ thing as the previous day >Manager sees >She gets p----- AGAIN >noneofthisismyfault.jpg >She f------ WRITES ME UP >That night, I begin to plan revenge on my bitch of a boss, but mostly on Big Tard >Want to get them both in one blow >idea.mp4 >Run to store >Buy bag of potato chips The next day >Thursday >l have closing duty on Thursdays (will be important later) >big Tard walks in >Demands potato chip >Tell him that I can order some for him to be shipped in, but l'l need his mommy's phone number >He doesn't even f------ question it >An hour later, he shows up with a sticky note with a phone number on it >Note absolutely reeks, don't want to touch it, but the revenge will be worth it >Tell him to come tomorrow at 8 AM sharp (when the store opens) >Say that there will be potato chips right behind the counter no matter what >He's a little annoyed about waiting, but he f---- off for the day A few hours later >Everyone else leaves >Before closing >Tape potato chips under countertop The next day >Call in sick to work >Manager always is the one who covers the counter when I'm gone >Grab phone >Ask friend to drive me to restaurant >He agrees >Tell him to park across the street and stay for a while >He's a bit confused, but he listens >Big Tard waiting outside before store opens, desperate to get in >Pull out phone, open camera >Zoom in on Big Tard (brand new phone, so I can zoom in pretty far with decent video quality) >Start recording > Store opens >Manager hasn't noticed potato chips taped to counter >Big Tard walks in >Demands "potato chip" >Manager says the usual >He tells her about the order I supposedly placed >She has no clue >He gets f------ p----- >She says she has no clue what hes talking about >He climbs over the f------ counter >She tries to stop him >He f------ PUNCHES HER with all of his tard strength >He sees the chips I planted and immediately rips them out from the tape >Screams louder than ever before right into manager's ear "LIAR! LIAR! STEALING MY POTATO CHIP!" >She tries to restrain him >He kicks her shin and steps on her foot >Runs out the door >I have it all on video >Send to his mom The next day >Manager p----- at me but worth it >Big Tard walks in with mom >She apologizes for everything he's done >Big Tard never shows up again >Victory >>43981146 # >>43981764 # >>43982074 #

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Poor anon... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)03:43:20 No.861077570 >Be me > 12yo >Normal day at school >gym locker room >changing to gym clothing >hear yelling at the other lockers while changing 54 KB JPG >Dude has an empty plastic water bottle >crowd near him >all of them watch him whip out his dong and piss inside the bottle >piss was cloudy as hell >mfw he started drinking it >finishes it and start the period normally I just wanted to exercise
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)03:43:20 No.861077570 >Be me > 12yo >Normal day at school >gym locker room >changing to gym clothing >hear yelling at the other lockers while changing 54 KB JPG >Dude has an empty plastic water bottle >crowd near him >all of them watch him whip out his dong and piss inside the bottle >piss was cloudy as hell >mfw he started drinking it >finishes it and start the period normally I just wanted to exercise

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anon cant comprehend twitter | /r/Greentext


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anon is relatable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)07:55:47 No.64986777 >have something to do >put it off until the 11th hour >finally do it in an adrenaline fueled panic >wow that was easy, why didn't I do it earlier 90 KB GIF Every time.
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)07:55:47 No.64986777 >have something to do >put it off until the 11th hour >finally do it in an adrenaline fueled panic >wow that was easy, why didn't I do it earlier 90 KB GIF Every time.

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Anon ruins a moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)20:49:42 No.861103952 >be me >need to take a s--- >go to toilet >the same time as i go in i hear my brother outside >he found out his girlfriend cheated on him >window is slightly opened >can't close it because taking a s--- >hear everything >have the loudest most vile s--- ever >sounds like a portal to hell opening >at the same time hear brother arguing with his girlfriend >they're both crying >pretty sure they can hear the reckoning sorry for ruining an emotional moment for you bro
Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)20:49:42 No.861103952 >be me >need to take a s--- >go to toilet >the same time as i go in i hear my brother outside >he found out his girlfriend cheated on him >window is slightly opened >can't close it because taking a s--- >hear everything >have the loudest most vile s--- ever >sounds like a portal to hell opening >at the same time hear brother arguing with his girlfriend >they're both crying >pretty sure they can hear the reckoning sorry for ruining an emotional moment for you bro

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Anon tells story about a ham sandwich. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/31/13(Thu)19:11:53 No.513691304 I witnessed the most horrific Tard event. >Be in school >walking down crowded corridor 214 KB PNG >Spot tard holding sandwich >This tard is known for flipping out violently and a wrangler is nowhere to be seen. >Suddenly, amongst the crowd, someone bumps into the tard and knocks his sandwich out his hand. >A slice of ham lands on some quiet kid who is by his locker >ohgodno.avi >Like the horns of Jericho, the tard lets out noise that could bring down the walls of a fortress >He leaps on the quiet kid and tackles him to the ground, eyes glazed over in feral rage >ohshitnigger.jpg >The tard sinks his teeth into this kid's upper thigh, but somehow still roaring >little did I know, thta the quiet kid was suffering from PTSD from a violent dog attack >He flips his s--- and unleashes an epic 45-hit fist combo into the tards face >As the punches keep landing, the tard's face is slowly becoming mushier and redder >The tard increases his bite strengh and his growl grows louder >The quiet kid is now bawling his eyes out but he doesn't cease his furious punching >Blood is beginning to be splattered about the hall from the tard's face >the bite mark is now flowing freely with blood as well >like lightning, the quiet kid grabs the tard's forehead with one hand and right hooks him in the jaw with the other. >audiblecrack.mp3 >the tard flops off the kid and begins writing on the floor, smearing blood and saliva everywhere >the quiet kid looks at his bloodsoaked fists, pukes and passes out (probably from the pain of the bite) >MFW he broke a tard's jaw to free himself >MFW the hallway looks like the f------ somme >MFW at least 10 kids had to have counselling after seeing this Also, Tard stories general.
Anonymous 10/31/13(Thu)19:11:53 No.513691304 I witnessed the most horrific Tard event. >Be in school >walking down crowded corridor 214 KB PNG >Spot tard holding sandwich >This tard is known for flipping out violently and a wrangler is nowhere to be seen. >Suddenly, amongst the crowd, someone bumps into the tard and knocks his sandwich out his hand. >A slice of ham lands on some quiet kid who is by his locker >ohgodno.avi >Like the horns of Jericho, the tard lets out noise that could bring down the walls of a fortress >He leaps on the quiet kid and tackles him to the ground, eyes glazed over in feral rage >ohshitnigger.jpg >The tard sinks his teeth into this kid's upper thigh, but somehow still roaring >little did I know, thta the quiet kid was suffering from PTSD from a violent dog attack >He flips his s--- and unleashes an epic 45-hit fist combo into the tards face >As the punches keep landing, the tard's face is slowly becoming mushier and redder >The tard increases his bite strengh and his growl grows louder >The quiet kid is now bawling his eyes out but he doesn't cease his furious punching >Blood is beginning to be splattered about the hall from the tard's face >the bite mark is now flowing freely with blood as well >like lightning, the quiet kid grabs the tard's forehead with one hand and right hooks him in the jaw with the other. >audiblecrack.mp3 >the tard flops off the kid and begins writing on the floor, smearing blood and saliva everywhere >the quiet kid looks at his bloodsoaked fists, pukes and passes out (probably from the pain of the bite) >MFW he broke a tard's jaw to free himself >MFW the hallway looks like the f------ somme >MFW at least 10 kids had to have counselling after seeing this Also, Tard stories general.

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Anon Knows Gun Fu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)13:53:43 No.63051822 INSIDER Taekwondo Olympian beaten up and requires surgery after random street attack bdawson@insider.com (Bethany Dawson) 6 hrs ago O Like O 71 Comments 117 1 Microsoft tae kwon dont.jpg 72 KB JPG >learns martial arts for self defense BAND
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)13:53:43 No.63051822 INSIDER Taekwondo Olympian beaten up and requires surgery after random street attack bdawson@insider.com (Bethany Dawson) 6 hrs ago O Like O 71 Comments 117 1 Microsoft tae kwon dont.jpg 72 KB JPG >learns martial arts for self defense BAND

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Anon is self-destructive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)23:09:07 No.64992375 >Be me >18, soon to be 19 >work has party once a year, most people who work there are in between 16-20, so everybody gets super drunk/high >Im s-------- and start talking to 13 KB JPG one of my coworkers and we hit it off >hook up after party >ffw a week later, she clearly caught feelings, weve hung out a few times since then and hooked up again >sent her a pic she wanted to have while hanging out >my contact name on her phone says my love >i dont really feel the same way towards her >find out shes 16 1/2 >barely legal for us to have sex in my state >dont feel comfortable continuing relationship, especially because of her age, and im going to college soon and dont want a long distance relationship >Dont want to tell her how i feel because it would break her heart and it would make things at work really awkward What the f--- do i do?
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)23:09:07 No.64992375 >Be me >18, soon to be 19 >work has party once a year, most people who work there are in between 16-20, so everybody gets super drunk/high >Im s-------- and start talking to 13 KB JPG one of my coworkers and we hit it off >hook up after party >ffw a week later, she clearly caught feelings, weve hung out a few times since then and hooked up again >sent her a pic she wanted to have while hanging out >my contact name on her phone says my love >i dont really feel the same way towards her >find out shes 16 1/2 >barely legal for us to have sex in my state >dont feel comfortable continuing relationship, especially because of her age, and im going to college soon and dont want a long distance relationship >Dont want to tell her how i feel because it would break her heart and it would make things at work really awkward What the f--- do i do?

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Anon is back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----
: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----

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Prayers for this madlad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/21(Sat)01:13:55 No.2075703 »2075650 This behavior is borderline Sigma >goes to Afghanistan right when the LCAME Taliban is taking over >openly walks the streets and has no care in the world 31 KB JPG >is hanging out in a city that is about to become the 21st century equivalent of Saigon >posts his picture AND his entire name on 4chan, a site notorious for punishing those that breach the enforced anonymity >gives zero f---- about all caution or advice contrary to his own plans Miles, you are a f------ madlad and I really wish you all the best. I hope if I see you on the news, it will be about how you managed a daring escape from the clutches of the Taliban. If you die, you will die a legend, but if you live, you will return to civilization as a hero. >>2075790 #
: Anonymous 08/14/21(Sat)01:13:55 No.2075703 »2075650 This behavior is borderline Sigma >goes to Afghanistan right when the LCAME Taliban is taking over >openly walks the streets and has no care in the world 31 KB JPG >is hanging out in a city that is about to become the 21st century equivalent of Saigon >posts his picture AND his entire name on 4chan, a site notorious for punishing those that breach the enforced anonymity >gives zero f---- about all caution or advice contrary to his own plans Miles, you are a f------ madlad and I really wish you all the best. I hope if I see you on the news, it will be about how you managed a daring escape from the clutches of the Taliban. If you die, you will die a legend, but if you live, you will return to civilization as a hero. >>2075790 #

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Anon loves his dog Rusty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)21:02:00 No.221083 >have to leave town for a week >leave Rusty at parents' place >come back next week >Rusty is so excited to see me he jumps into my arms I love Rusty and it warms my heart he loves me too
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)21:02:00 No.221083 >have to leave town for a week >leave Rusty at parents' place >come back next week >Rusty is so excited to see me he jumps into my arms I love Rusty and it warms my heart he loves me too

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The what now?!? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)14:44:07 No.861088347 >dad found the piss freezer OD 4 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)14:44:07 No.861088347 >dad found the piss freezer OD 4 KB JPG

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