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Anon is distracted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 minutes ago 850550700 >sit down to play video game >"let me just check 4chan and youtube first then i'll start" >5 hours later and still checking those websites >too late to play video game now >rinse and repeat this happen to anyone else? Anonymous 3 minutes ago 850550734 you filthy f------ casual
Anonymous 4 minutes ago 850550700 >sit down to play video game >"let me just check 4chan and youtube first then i'll start" >5 hours later and still checking those websites >too late to play video game now >rinse and repeat this happen to anyone else? Anonymous 3 minutes ago 850550734 you filthy f------ casual

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Anon saves his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:13:10 No.62918674 >dad is obese >eat all the sweets he buys to save him 75 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:46:37 No.62919028 >>62918674 (OP)# you could just throw the candy out. >>62919158 #
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:13:10 No.62918674 >dad is obese >eat all the sweets he buys to save him 75 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:46:37 No.62919028 >>62918674 (OP)# you could just throw the candy out. >>62919158 #

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Anon still has a chance | /r/Greentext

>be me >31y/o kissless loser >lost virginity to a prostitute at 27 >never been in a relationship >figured it's a mix between me being unattractive and my apathetic personality >believe I'm getting to that age when it's too late to bother starting a family since relatives have gotten 25 KB JPG married and had kids in their 20s >decided to order an Ancestry DNA kit, last week, for the hell of it >work on my family tree until it arrives >made it all the way back to my 3rd great- grandparents >noticed something interesting >one of my paternal great great grandfathers didn't get married and have a family until he was 50 >died 15 years later; 5 years after his youngest was born I might not be able to enjoy the chances of being a parent while l'm still young, but perhaps it's not too late to continue my legacy, since it's hereditary.
>be me >31y/o kissless loser >lost virginity to a prostitute at 27 >never been in a relationship >figured it's a mix between me being unattractive and my apathetic personality >believe I'm getting to that age when it's too late to bother starting a family since relatives have gotten 25 KB JPG married and had kids in their 20s >decided to order an Ancestry DNA kit, last week, for the hell of it >work on my family tree until it arrives >made it all the way back to my 3rd great- grandparents >noticed something interesting >one of my paternal great great grandfathers didn't get married and have a family until he was 50 >died 15 years later; 5 years after his youngest was born I might not be able to enjoy the chances of being a parent while l'm still young, but perhaps it's not too late to continue my legacy, since it's hereditary.

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Anon about politics | /r/Greentext

>>313715951(OP) # >hate high taxes >move to republican area with lower taxes >vote for candidates that want to raise taxes 44 KB JPG >??? >repeat I'm convinced that >99% of people are just braindead morons
>>313715951(OP) # >hate high taxes >move to republican area with lower taxes >vote for candidates that want to raise taxes 44 KB JPG >??? >repeat I'm convinced that >99% of people are just braindead morons

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Anon has a realisation that he's an incel. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon pulls the plug | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)12:16:54 No.850472923 >be me 18 >at bf's flat helping him out before moving out >cleaning kitchen >30 year old post-communist fridge louder than f----- plane engine >autism kicks in >plug out the fridge because loud >later bf gets panic attack or something >finish the work and get out as fast as possible >next day >bf's mom calls and says fridge defrosted and flood the floor >mfw i forgot to plug it back in >floor is destroyed >mfw they have to pay for it this s--- haunts me to this day
Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)12:16:54 No.850472923 >be me 18 >at bf's flat helping him out before moving out >cleaning kitchen >30 year old post-communist fridge louder than f----- plane engine >autism kicks in >plug out the fridge because loud >later bf gets panic attack or something >finish the work and get out as fast as possible >next day >bf's mom calls and says fridge defrosted and flood the floor >mfw i forgot to plug it back in >floor is destroyed >mfw they have to pay for it this s--- haunts me to this day

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Anon gets lump on balls examined | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)19:29:22 No.62910497 >>62910762 >>62910783 >>62910819 >>62910908 >>62910936 >be me, 22 yo autistic KHHV NEET >strange lump on balls, PANIC >hate talking to people but I cant lose balls, book doctors appointment >2 weeks later arive and wait in waiting room, never met my new doctor yet >"Is ANON here??", turn around and see hot af 30yo woman >ASDKJASKLNKLEN o s---, o f--, stay calm >get up and walk down hallway, she asks me how the wait was, I say "fine, how about you" >00000of kill me now >she opens door and lets me inside >two 20yo cute af girl med students are waiting >FUUUÜUUUUUUŪUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK >"Anon, please take a seat, I need a supurvisor to watch what Im doing for legal reasons" >she puts on rubber gloves >"Dont worry anon, this will only take a moment, please lie down and take your pants off" >the 2 med students stare at me while I take them off, trying my best not to look at them >doctor starts slowly rubbing my balls, one at a time >she finds the lump, now she starts massaging the lump >oh no, o f--, Im getting bigger. >"Im going to have to use the ultra sound to take a better look anon" >she presses the ultra sound machine to my ball >med students have to move one to each side to see whats happening >she turns the machine on and it starts vibrating HARD >l go full mast instantly, never been this hard before >the med students go red, but everyone stays silent >"hmmm good news anon! this lump shouldnt be a problem, it should fade in a few weeks" >WHAT >"stacy, becky, take a closer look here, remember what it looks like" >they lean in, towards each other so their heads are almost touching >my head is completly exposed and I can feel them breathing on it.. >l feel precum come out but they keep talking about the lump >l cant take it anymore, the way they smell, their legs, their hair almost touching my d---. >no. PLEASE NO, NOO0000000000 >COOM BURST OUT HARDER THAN EVER BEFORE >they both pull away, one got coom in her eyes >THẺ OTHÉR GOT IT IN HER MOUTH W-- >i put my pants on and get out of there ASAP > MY LIFE IS OVER
O Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)19:29:22 No.62910497 >>62910762 >>62910783 >>62910819 >>62910908 >>62910936 >be me, 22 yo autistic KHHV NEET >strange lump on balls, PANIC >hate talking to people but I cant lose balls, book doctors appointment >2 weeks later arive and wait in waiting room, never met my new doctor yet >"Is ANON here??", turn around and see hot af 30yo woman >ASDKJASKLNKLEN o s---, o f--, stay calm >get up and walk down hallway, she asks me how the wait was, I say "fine, how about you" >00000of kill me now >she opens door and lets me inside >two 20yo cute af girl med students are waiting >FUUUÜUUUUUUŪUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK >"Anon, please take a seat, I need a supurvisor to watch what Im doing for legal reasons" >she puts on rubber gloves >"Dont worry anon, this will only take a moment, please lie down and take your pants off" >the 2 med students stare at me while I take them off, trying my best not to look at them >doctor starts slowly rubbing my balls, one at a time >she finds the lump, now she starts massaging the lump >oh no, o f--, Im getting bigger. >"Im going to have to use the ultra sound to take a better look anon" >she presses the ultra sound machine to my ball >med students have to move one to each side to see whats happening >she turns the machine on and it starts vibrating HARD >l go full mast instantly, never been this hard before >the med students go red, but everyone stays silent >"hmmm good news anon! this lump shouldnt be a problem, it should fade in a few weeks" >WHAT >"stacy, becky, take a closer look here, remember what it looks like" >they lean in, towards each other so their heads are almost touching >my head is completly exposed and I can feel them breathing on it.. >l feel precum come out but they keep talking about the lump >l cant take it anymore, the way they smell, their legs, their hair almost touching my d---. >no. PLEASE NO, NOO0000000000 >COOM BURST OUT HARDER THAN EVER BEFORE >they both pull away, one got coom in her eyes >THẺ OTHÉR GOT IT IN HER MOUTH W-- >i put my pants on and get out of there ASAP > MY LIFE IS OVER

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Shoplifters of the world, unite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)20:28:34 No.62915713 >Be me >at Wendys >be on Drive Thru >because I only ever work Drive Thru >because the only thing being better than your peers and being able to work every position gets you is the one no 216 KB PNG one else is able or wants to do >every headset is garbage >everyone is a struggle to hear even though I'm destroying my hearing with the volume| >trying to get lady's order >double burger plain >ask her to repeat herself because a ton of s--- is going on and the store is super loud >she repeats it super slow and condescending, ending with "Are. You. Understanding. What. I'm. Saying. To. You?" >Repeat the order back that I had already punched in, ending with "Are you going to keep giving me attitude?" >Whole store is like "WOAH OMG" >f------ GM wants me in the office immediately >lady is also like "Are you giving ME attitude?" >Everyone acting like I had called her a n----- unprovoked instead of responding to being insulted >coworker tripping over herself to apologize to the lady as I go to the office >get chewed out by gm >come back >lady drives off without her food >again, as if she had been gravely insulted and this would ruin her day >rest of the shift nobody even says anything about how I'm cool for saying it or that she was a bitch Remember that you are completely worthless, and any amount of pride or self-importance is an active detriment in today's society, because if you have it, it might just slip out and everyone will scream about it. Enjoy being walked on, it's all society wants from you.
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)20:28:34 No.62915713 >Be me >at Wendys >be on Drive Thru >because I only ever work Drive Thru >because the only thing being better than your peers and being able to work every position gets you is the one no 216 KB PNG one else is able or wants to do >every headset is garbage >everyone is a struggle to hear even though I'm destroying my hearing with the volume| >trying to get lady's order >double burger plain >ask her to repeat herself because a ton of s--- is going on and the store is super loud >she repeats it super slow and condescending, ending with "Are. You. Understanding. What. I'm. Saying. To. You?" >Repeat the order back that I had already punched in, ending with "Are you going to keep giving me attitude?" >Whole store is like "WOAH OMG" >f------ GM wants me in the office immediately >lady is also like "Are you giving ME attitude?" >Everyone acting like I had called her a n----- unprovoked instead of responding to being insulted >coworker tripping over herself to apologize to the lady as I go to the office >get chewed out by gm >come back >lady drives off without her food >again, as if she had been gravely insulted and this would ruin her day >rest of the shift nobody even says anything about how I'm cool for saying it or that she was a bitch Remember that you are completely worthless, and any amount of pride or self-importance is an active detriment in today's society, because if you have it, it might just slip out and everyone will scream about it. Enjoy being walked on, it's all society wants from you.

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Anon talks to a Normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)15:14:39 No.850498125 >be me >Normie asks where the nearest bus station is >ignore normie. I start to enter pre-reeee >normie taps me >"excuse me do you know where the nearest bus station is" 126 KB JPG >full Reeeeeeee incoming >tell normie there's one on the corner >she thanks me and goes to the corner >there isn't a bus stop there >Reeee averted
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)15:14:39 No.850498125 >be me >Normie asks where the nearest bus station is >ignore normie. I start to enter pre-reeee >normie taps me >"excuse me do you know where the nearest bus station is" 126 KB JPG >full Reeeeeeee incoming >tell normie there's one on the corner >she thanks me and goes to the corner >there isn't a bus stop there >Reeee averted

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Anon wants to fuck a toaster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #
: Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #

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Anon gives you options | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps 01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free 14 KB JPG >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb 10 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps 01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free 14 KB JPG >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb 10 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon throws a party | /r/Greentext

>Be Me >16 year old khv >have huge crush on qt3.14 cheerleader at my school >can't even think about her without getting a massive erection (my pp points straight up toward the sky so no one 45 KB JPG notices) >one weekend parents leave me home alone >decide to throw massive party >call everyone I know in my high school >about 100 people show up >everyone having a great time >qt from earlier is talking to me a lot >keeps brushing against my d--- and winking at me >party goes on well past 3am >everyone is pretty drunk (my dad has lots of beer in the basement) >everyone wants to be my friend now >"this is such a great party, anon" >about 3:45 or so people finally begin to leave >by 4:00 the only people left are me and qt >we're sitting on the couch together >grabs by thigh >leans in to kiss me >I smell the alcohol on her breath >I really want to get my baby carrot wet, but I also don't want her to accuse me of r--- later >tell her no thanks >she gets p----- and storms out the door >I hear her car start, and her tires squeal as she quickly drives away >loud crashing noise >ohshit >run outside as fast as I can >she hit a tree >car looks really bad >blood on the windshield (bruh moment) >walk towards car >decide to check to see if she's alive >open the door >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur
>Be Me >16 year old khv >have huge crush on qt3.14 cheerleader at my school >can't even think about her without getting a massive erection (my pp points straight up toward the sky so no one 45 KB JPG notices) >one weekend parents leave me home alone >decide to throw massive party >call everyone I know in my high school >about 100 people show up >everyone having a great time >qt from earlier is talking to me a lot >keeps brushing against my d--- and winking at me >party goes on well past 3am >everyone is pretty drunk (my dad has lots of beer in the basement) >everyone wants to be my friend now >"this is such a great party, anon" >about 3:45 or so people finally begin to leave >by 4:00 the only people left are me and qt >we're sitting on the couch together >grabs by thigh >leans in to kiss me >I smell the alcohol on her breath >I really want to get my baby carrot wet, but I also don't want her to accuse me of r--- later >tell her no thanks >she gets p----- and storms out the door >I hear her car start, and her tires squeal as she quickly drives away >loud crashing noise >ohshit >run outside as fast as I can >she hit a tree >car looks really bad >blood on the windshield (bruh moment) >walk towards car >decide to check to see if she's alive >open the door >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur

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Anon wants karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21 (Fri)02:46:09 No.850505968 >tries 4chan >looks for greentext >find p--- >find more p--- >now am horny >mfw I dont want horny >mfw I just want to look at greentexts 94 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)02:54:42 No.850506489 >>850505968 (OP) # Go back : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)02:57:05 No.850506653 >>850505968 (OP)_# Go back to your reddit snowflake safespace, if you want to find good greentext you gotta earn them by watching thousand of trap p--- threads. 122 KB GIF >>850506933 # : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)03:01:08 No.850506933 >>850506653 # tbf probably where i belong
: Anonymous 03/26/21 (Fri)02:46:09 No.850505968 >tries 4chan >looks for greentext >find p--- >find more p--- >now am horny >mfw I dont want horny >mfw I just want to look at greentexts 94 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)02:54:42 No.850506489 >>850505968 (OP) # Go back : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)02:57:05 No.850506653 >>850505968 (OP)_# Go back to your reddit snowflake safespace, if you want to find good greentext you gotta earn them by watching thousand of trap p--- threads. 122 KB GIF >>850506933 # : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)03:01:08 No.850506933 >>850506653 # tbf probably where i belong

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Anon is a weeb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why do weebs like D&D so much(...) 03/25/21(Thu)22:41:46 No.78294878 >be me >huge history nerd >love Japan for its history and culture >never consumed anime in my life >oblivious to almost every single reference you can throw at me >the only Japanese media l've consumed are old samurai and action movies so tresome 68 KB JPG >decide to make D&D game set in a fantasy version of Sengoku Japan (this was near the release of Sekiro, so I was inspired) >advertise it online so I can find players >explicitly mention that I do not watch anime and that this will not be an anime game >1/3 people that want to join are Narutards, Jojofags, or some other f------ animes that I can't remember the name of >they come to me with premade characters that have incredibly OP homebrew b------- >"t-this character was inspired by [edgy anime protagonist]" >all of them are "UwU OwO~ xd nuzzles your bulgy wulgy" sounding f------ >end up not running it because I can't f------ deal with these people I know 4chan is full of weebs and you're going to roast me alive, but good lord I can't f------ stand these retards. I just wanted to run a cool samurai game. 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous Why do weebs like D&D so much(...) 03/25/21(Thu)22:41:46 No.78294878 >be me >huge history nerd >love Japan for its history and culture >never consumed anime in my life >oblivious to almost every single reference you can throw at me >the only Japanese media l've consumed are old samurai and action movies so tresome 68 KB JPG >decide to make D&D game set in a fantasy version of Sengoku Japan (this was near the release of Sekiro, so I was inspired) >advertise it online so I can find players >explicitly mention that I do not watch anime and that this will not be an anime game >1/3 people that want to join are Narutards, Jojofags, or some other f------ animes that I can't remember the name of >they come to me with premade characters that have incredibly OP homebrew b------- >"t-this character was inspired by [edgy anime protagonist]" >all of them are "UwU OwO~ xd nuzzles your bulgy wulgy" sounding f------ >end up not running it because I can't f------ deal with these people I know 4chan is full of weebs and you're going to roast me alive, but good lord I can't f------ stand these retards. I just wanted to run a cool samurai game. 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon buys condoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)23:11:08 No.850533992 >go to store >buy box of magnum condoms >cashier girl blushes and gives me her number >guy behind me tells me 'go get em tiger' >walk out proudly 2 KB JPG >get home >blow condoms up and use them as drumsticks for air druming
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)23:11:08 No.850533992 >go to store >buy box of magnum condoms >cashier girl blushes and gives me her number >guy behind me tells me 'go get em tiger' >walk out proudly 2 KB JPG >get home >blow condoms up and use them as drumsticks for air druming

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Anon is multitasking while in a calculus class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)00:20:11 No.23833156 >mfw switching between 20 tabs of p--- during calculus class 159 KB JPG >>23833159 # >>23834865 #
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)00:20:11 No.23833156 >mfw switching between 20 tabs of p--- during calculus class 159 KB JPG >>23833159 # >>23834865 #

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Anon is a incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)17:19:22 No.62913429 >How dare you judge a woman based on her PAST >It's not like it's shaped her into what she is NOW or has any influence on what she may do in the FUTURE! 55 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)17:30:17 No.62913552 >What the F--- do you mean you have STANDARDS?! >You're a f------ INCEL! 20 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)17:19:22 No.62913429 >How dare you judge a woman based on her PAST >It's not like it's shaped her into what she is NOW or has any influence on what she may do in the FUTURE! 55 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)17:30:17 No.62913552 >What the F--- do you mean you have STANDARDS?! >You're a f------ INCEL! 20 KB PNG

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Anon likes dogs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)09:00:31 No.784213670 >be me >watching stupid videos on youtube >accidentally wake up pupper >pupper is not mad, just wants pats >goes back to sleep while getting A.W.E.S.O.M. - O 11 KB JPG pats I love my dog /b/. Why can't people be more like dogs
: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)09:00:31 No.784213670 >be me >watching stupid videos on youtube >accidentally wake up pupper >pupper is not mad, just wants pats >goes back to sleep while getting A.W.E.S.O.M. - O 11 KB JPG pats I love my dog /b/. Why can't people be more like dogs

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Anon plays the chad card | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)17:38:52 No.850507432 >be me >Instantly click with 8/10 girl >Spend lots of time with her >She is really touchy and laughs at every joke >Jokingly asks me on a date >Played the Alpha/chad card and 50 KB JPG basically rejected her >She's talking less and less with me >Started dating with some other guy And 3 am every day it jumps into my mind
: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)17:38:52 No.850507432 >be me >Instantly click with 8/10 girl >Spend lots of time with her >She is really touchy and laughs at every joke >Jokingly asks me on a date >Played the Alpha/chad card and 50 KB JPG basically rejected her >She's talking less and less with me >Started dating with some other guy And 3 am every day it jumps into my mind

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Anon makes a new post | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_20210325-08472(...).jpg (373 KB, 879x571) O Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)08:48:16 No.850485742 [Reply] >Вe 17 >Flying Fortress
File: Screenshot_20210325-08472(...).jpg (373 KB, 879x571) O Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)08:48:16 No.850485742 [Reply] >Вe 17 >Flying Fortress

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