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Anon likes 24 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)16:40:32 No.875075631 >Be me >Have Disney+ >One day binge watch 24 >Really like the Jack Bauer character >Start to dress like him 1.69 MB JPG >Give responses like "Dammit", "Give me the schematics" and "I don't have time to explain" in daily life more often >Start to cycle my days in hour segments, I have to finish my tasks within said hour, no matter how much I have to rush or how s--- it turns out >I normally wear headphones when I'm commuting, the only 3 things I listen to now are the 24 credits theme, Key Of Awesome "Man crush on Jack Bauer" or the 24 ticking clock sound effect for an hour >This week my autism has taken a new turn. Everyday when I get off the tube (subway), I run through the station, shouting "MOVE!" to anyone in the way and making sure to run into as many roasties as possible, as though I'm actually stopping a terrorist attack | I know l'm probably just experiencing an ego death and a mega autism mutation, but at the same time I'm cooler and more productive than I've ever been
: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)16:40:32 No.875075631 >Be me >Have Disney+ >One day binge watch 24 >Really like the Jack Bauer character >Start to dress like him 1.69 MB JPG >Give responses like "Dammit", "Give me the schematics" and "I don't have time to explain" in daily life more often >Start to cycle my days in hour segments, I have to finish my tasks within said hour, no matter how much I have to rush or how s--- it turns out >I normally wear headphones when I'm commuting, the only 3 things I listen to now are the 24 credits theme, Key Of Awesome "Man crush on Jack Bauer" or the 24 ticking clock sound effect for an hour >This week my autism has taken a new turn. Everyday when I get off the tube (subway), I run through the station, shouting "MOVE!" to anyone in the way and making sure to run into as many roasties as possible, as though I'm actually stopping a terrorist attack | I know l'm probably just experiencing an ego death and a mega autism mutation, but at the same time I'm cooler and more productive than I've ever been

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10 Gallon hat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/19(Tue)09:02:21 No.123956570 >At cinema >cowboy with 10 gallon hat sits in front of me >ask him to take off hat >head is the same size and shape as the hat 12 KB GIF
: Anonymous 11/12/19(Tue)09:02:21 No.123956570 >At cinema >cowboy with 10 gallon hat sits in front of me >ask him to take off hat >head is the same size and shape as the hat 12 KB GIF

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anon enjoys gas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.778520043 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing 148 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.778520043 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing 148 KB JPG

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anon throws a controller | /r/Greentext

controller.jpg 84 KB JPG >here's your controller bro : Anonymous 11/02/17(Thu)18:52:59 No.395523756 >toss me the controller bro >I can't, it keeps coming back
controller.jpg 84 KB JPG >here's your controller bro : Anonymous 11/02/17(Thu)18:52:59 No.395523756 >toss me the controller bro >I can't, it keeps coming back

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Anon goes for a run | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)12:43:49 No.6026769 I went running once >never run >not very good at all >look super unnatural >cop pulls up, asks me if l'm ok, and if I'm running from someone sad day
: Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)12:43:49 No.6026769 I went running once >never run >not very good at all >look super unnatural >cop pulls up, asks me if l'm ok, and if I'm running from someone sad day

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Jew in Attic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/18(Wed)00:44:08 No.46985577 I feel bad for Anne Frank. It's every girls nightmare to have the whole world read your diary. She also didn't get a single dollar out of it, which is every Jews nightmare. >>46985757 # >>46985788 # >>46985908 # >>46987296 # >>46987641 # >>46989472 # >>46990171 #
: Anonymous 07/25/18(Wed)00:44:08 No.46985577 I feel bad for Anne Frank. It's every girls nightmare to have the whole world read your diary. She also didn't get a single dollar out of it, which is every Jews nightmare. >>46985757 # >>46985788 # >>46985908 # >>46987296 # >>46987641 # >>46989472 # >>46990171 #

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Anon spends too much time on 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34524884 55 min. ago >be me >be in communications class >persuasive speech >autism = activate >start speech with "be me" >awkward silence from class should i just drop out?
Anonymous 34524884 55 min. ago >be me >be in communications class >persuasive speech >autism = activate >start speech with "be me" >awkward silence from class should i just drop out?

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Anon doesn't know Korea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ? 06/28/17(Wed)17:57:22 No.1223025 Ask a Korean that is proud of his country anything 40 KB PNG 243 Replies / 19 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: OE0PIP66 ) 06/28/17(Wed)22:54:10 No.1225455 >>1223025 (OP) # Pepsi isn't a f------ country retard
: Anonymous ? 06/28/17(Wed)17:57:22 No.1223025 Ask a Korean that is proud of his country anything 40 KB PNG 243 Replies / 19 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: OE0PIP66 ) 06/28/17(Wed)22:54:10 No.1225455 >>1223025 (OP) # Pepsi isn't a f------ country retard

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Anon finishes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Hamilton 05/16/18(Wed)14:28:36 No.45447213 >trying to pirate hamilton >Wait few hours to download >Finally finishes >lts just 3 hours of p--- >J------- Really I feel like I won in this 357 KB JPG situation View Thread
: Anonymous Hamilton 05/16/18(Wed)14:28:36 No.45447213 >trying to pirate hamilton >Wait few hours to download >Finally finishes >lts just 3 hours of p--- >J------- Really I feel like I won in this 357 KB JPG situation View Thread

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Anon is diagnosed with autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri) 13:16:24 No.875063890 >be me >In my twenties >Live at home with my parents >Get diagnosed with autism recently >Don't think much of it, nothing changed for me really >Come home one day after a hard day of sperging out 36 KB JPG >Go to room >My normal blanket is gone >Thefuck.jpeg >It's replaced with a f------ weighted blanket >It's nice and very soft but still ask parents about it because what, why, where, and how the f--- >They say that they did some research to look into what "kids like me" need >Ask what they mean >They f------ replaced my blanket because l'm an autist >Kind of annoyed but not too bad >But no, it gets worse anons. >My mom starts talking to me like I'm an actual retard now >She says something about how they want to do anything they can to accommodate me and my needs >Wut.tgif >She goes on to explain that she understands that kids with autism often have trouble with making it to the bathroom >WHATTHEFUCK. >l'm so confused by this point >She tells me they bought me diapers and that I don't have to wear them all the time but they expect me to wear them to bed >Spent the rest of the evening arguing with them about it with me telling them I didn't piss myself and her telling me it was just a precaution >She talked to my aunt and she's the one that brought it up because her friend has a tardbaby or some s--- >My dad gets so annoyed he finally tells me that I have to wear them to bed or I can't live with them because he doesn't plan on replacing my furniture >End up forced to wear one to bed >Ffw to now >Laying in bed with a f------ diaper and weighted blanket on me Just f------ kill me now anons.
: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri) 13:16:24 No.875063890 >be me >In my twenties >Live at home with my parents >Get diagnosed with autism recently >Don't think much of it, nothing changed for me really >Come home one day after a hard day of sperging out 36 KB JPG >Go to room >My normal blanket is gone >Thefuck.jpeg >It's replaced with a f------ weighted blanket >It's nice and very soft but still ask parents about it because what, why, where, and how the f--- >They say that they did some research to look into what "kids like me" need >Ask what they mean >They f------ replaced my blanket because l'm an autist >Kind of annoyed but not too bad >But no, it gets worse anons. >My mom starts talking to me like I'm an actual retard now >She says something about how they want to do anything they can to accommodate me and my needs >Wut.tgif >She goes on to explain that she understands that kids with autism often have trouble with making it to the bathroom >WHATTHEFUCK. >l'm so confused by this point >She tells me they bought me diapers and that I don't have to wear them all the time but they expect me to wear them to bed >Spent the rest of the evening arguing with them about it with me telling them I didn't piss myself and her telling me it was just a precaution >She talked to my aunt and she's the one that brought it up because her friend has a tardbaby or some s--- >My dad gets so annoyed he finally tells me that I have to wear them to bed or I can't live with them because he doesn't plan on replacing my furniture >End up forced to wear one to bed >Ffw to now >Laying in bed with a f------ diaper and weighted blanket on me Just f------ kill me now anons.

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Anon goes to the bathroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)06:29:58 No.875051616 Bathroom stories? >Elementary school, 4th grade >Need to go badly, Can't s--- when anyone else is in the bathroom >Walk in, waste time washing my hands until the other guys leave >Now have the bathroom all to myself, probably been in there for around 2 minutes now >just as I start to unload and let loose someone else walks 6 KB JPG in >they just stand there, don't even use the bathroom. >I quickly halt my release and try to conceal my presence >1 minute goes by >2 minutes >5 >this mf knows I can't s--- and is just waiting me out. I hate him >he starts pacing around the bathroom and tries looking under the stalls to see me >desperately need to s--- so I try doing it in silence as he is hunting me, each sound killing me a little more >been out of class for 10-15 minutes even though the bathroom is right next to our class so teacher starts to come looking >she peeks her head in the doorway and asks the other guy if anyone else is in there >"No... I don't see anyone else." >hear him finally wash his hands and leave >thank God >a wave of pure ecstasy and relief washes over me as I release the largest, most oppressive s--- in history. It was powerful, cracking the air like a whip. The smell was profuse and pungent. I thought I was going to crack the porcelain bowl. >Once I am finally done I walk out of the stall and see him. He hadn't actually left and faked me out. >"yeah, I thought so" before he slowly turns and walks away. >nothing but despair fills my heart in that moment. Saw him again in the bathroom a few months later. He takes his shirt off when he pees in the urinals.
: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)06:29:58 No.875051616 Bathroom stories? >Elementary school, 4th grade >Need to go badly, Can't s--- when anyone else is in the bathroom >Walk in, waste time washing my hands until the other guys leave >Now have the bathroom all to myself, probably been in there for around 2 minutes now >just as I start to unload and let loose someone else walks 6 KB JPG in >they just stand there, don't even use the bathroom. >I quickly halt my release and try to conceal my presence >1 minute goes by >2 minutes >5 >this mf knows I can't s--- and is just waiting me out. I hate him >he starts pacing around the bathroom and tries looking under the stalls to see me >desperately need to s--- so I try doing it in silence as he is hunting me, each sound killing me a little more >been out of class for 10-15 minutes even though the bathroom is right next to our class so teacher starts to come looking >she peeks her head in the doorway and asks the other guy if anyone else is in there >"No... I don't see anyone else." >hear him finally wash his hands and leave >thank God >a wave of pure ecstasy and relief washes over me as I release the largest, most oppressive s--- in history. It was powerful, cracking the air like a whip. The smell was profuse and pungent. I thought I was going to crack the porcelain bowl. >Once I am finally done I walk out of the stall and see him. He hadn't actually left and faked me out. >"yeah, I thought so" before he slowly turns and walks away. >nothing but despair fills my heart in that moment. Saw him again in the bathroom a few months later. He takes his shirt off when he pees in the urinals.

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Anon misses Emos | /r/Greentext

Anonymous B45tWh9U 105241343 1 hr. ago Whatever happens to emos? Where did they go? 29 REPLIES 9 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous H8G/1aFs 105241496 1 hr. ago If your social group is defined by a suicidal nature don't expect it to last a long time. 1 REPLY
Anonymous B45tWh9U 105241343 1 hr. ago Whatever happens to emos? Where did they go? 29 REPLIES 9 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous H8G/1aFs 105241496 1 hr. ago If your social group is defined by a suicidal nature don't expect it to last a long time. 1 REPLY

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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)19:28:36 No.86195773 1.28 MB JPG >have cracked several laptops by bearing my palms down on them why aren't they more sturdy Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)01:03:24 No.86199030 >>86195773 (OP) lose weight you fat p------------
Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)19:28:36 No.86195773 1.28 MB JPG >have cracked several laptops by bearing my palms down on them why aren't they more sturdy Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)01:03:24 No.86199030 >>86195773 (OP) lose weight you fat p------------

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Most Beautiful Greentext Ever Conceived. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what Il be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >dont think much other of it though -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks ifi would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >sofly say you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what Il be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >dont think much other of it though -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks ifi would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >sofly say you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife

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Anon handles danger ropes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Yesterday 1413695 innawoods autism thread >be me >cub scouts camping trip >its getting dark >scout master tells us to get wood n s--- for a bonfıre >go about 20 feet away from camp >see the perfect stick >grab it >its a rattlesnake tail >too retarded to run away >bring it over my head and swing it in circles >the snake can't come back and bite me >shout for help >everyone comes >sees me using a snake like a lasso >kids laughing, adults s------- pants >tell me to hit the snake against a tree as hard as I can >hope it breaks its neck >whip its head at mach speed into the biggest tree I could find >head explodes >adults don't know whether to congratulate or punish me >other kids think I'm hardcore >mfw my nickname was snake charmer from then on
Anonymous Yesterday 1413695 innawoods autism thread >be me >cub scouts camping trip >its getting dark >scout master tells us to get wood n s--- for a bonfıre >go about 20 feet away from camp >see the perfect stick >grab it >its a rattlesnake tail >too retarded to run away >bring it over my head and swing it in circles >the snake can't come back and bite me >shout for help >everyone comes >sees me using a snake like a lasso >kids laughing, adults s------- pants >tell me to hit the snake against a tree as hard as I can >hope it breaks its neck >whip its head at mach speed into the biggest tree I could find >head explodes >adults don't know whether to congratulate or punish me >other kids think I'm hardcore >mfw my nickname was snake charmer from then on

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Anon is a man of culture | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:16:02 No.154642473 >patient is 26 years old, never had sex, never been to a concert, has no friends and doesn't have a job >run a brain scan, check for a tumor, then check his browser history 29 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:20:32 No.154642654 >>154642473 (OP) # >why check his browser history? 86 KB JPG >>154643041 # >>154657984 # : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:30:46 No.154643041 >>154642654 # >a man who doesn't have sex will obviously become a p--- connoisseur, and I'm not gonna let such a curated selection to go unappreciated. 19 KB JPG >>154644997 # >>154662906 # >>154665287 # >>154665419 #
: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:16:02 No.154642473 >patient is 26 years old, never had sex, never been to a concert, has no friends and doesn't have a job >run a brain scan, check for a tumor, then check his browser history 29 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:20:32 No.154642654 >>154642473 (OP) # >why check his browser history? 86 KB JPG >>154643041 # >>154657984 # : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:30:46 No.154643041 >>154642654 # >a man who doesn't have sex will obviously become a p--- connoisseur, and I'm not gonna let such a curated selection to go unappreciated. 19 KB JPG >>154644997 # >>154662906 # >>154665287 # >>154665419 #

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Anon has an artistic girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)10:14:07 No.875059901 >be me, f------ lowlife >end up finding a girl in one of the trash ditches I frequent >art school dropout with blue-green hair, the type that's cute but can't keep a guy because she's f------ insane >ask her out anyway because l've got low standards 39 KB JPG >she says yes anyway because she's got low standards >get to know each other, she's actually funny and really sweet >says I'm the nicest guy she's ever dated >no f------ s--- most your exes should be in prison and one of them made me change my mind about the death penalty >life's great, sex is great, we move in together >she starts putting her life together, clear out the apartment together >we're both unemployed but she starts making art again >she starts drawing comics about our relationship, she looks like herself but drew me to be hot for some reason too >obviously never draws the bad sides or fights, just the cutesy stuff >she posts them online >they gain traction, people f------ love those grossly sweet relationship comics >she starts a patreon page, gets contacted by a print publisher, her career's picking up >meanwhile I'm still unemployed >living here rent free >mfw she can't ever dump me or she'll lose her job too
: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)10:14:07 No.875059901 >be me, f------ lowlife >end up finding a girl in one of the trash ditches I frequent >art school dropout with blue-green hair, the type that's cute but can't keep a guy because she's f------ insane >ask her out anyway because l've got low standards 39 KB JPG >she says yes anyway because she's got low standards >get to know each other, she's actually funny and really sweet >says I'm the nicest guy she's ever dated >no f------ s--- most your exes should be in prison and one of them made me change my mind about the death penalty >life's great, sex is great, we move in together >she starts putting her life together, clear out the apartment together >we're both unemployed but she starts making art again >she starts drawing comics about our relationship, she looks like herself but drew me to be hot for some reason too >obviously never draws the bad sides or fights, just the cutesy stuff >she posts them online >they gain traction, people f------ love those grossly sweet relationship comics >she starts a patreon page, gets contacted by a print publisher, her career's picking up >meanwhile I'm still unemployed >living here rent free >mfw she can't ever dump me or she'll lose her job too

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Anon wants to be the cool uncle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)17:52:47 No.67915460 Traumatic Family Stories? THAT'S SCARY I DON'T KNOW >living at home with parents >brother and his family visiting >they have a 5 year old kid >shut in so don't leave my room to talk to them whole time they're visiting >"OK ANON WE'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE" >uh, I guess I should at least go out and see them off so mom doesn't have another talk with me about being 84 KB PNG antisocial >all standing around the door waiting for them to leave but the actual adults are talking to each other >take a piece of candy from a bowl on the kitchen counter >F--- it, I can be the cool uncle, I'll give a piece to the kid >kid really happy, feels good >kids happily shows her mom, my Sister in Law >SIL suddenly goes a------ >Screaming at the kid, how she already told them no and how it's wrong to blatantly ignore the rules, theft >really tearing into the kid >they're just blubbering now >"B-BB- BUT I DIDN'T-- A-A ANON IS. IS THE-" >SIL: "STOP! I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth tonight" >slowly slink back to room while kid is dragged out crying and they leave I just wanted to be a cool uncle
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)17:52:47 No.67915460 Traumatic Family Stories? THAT'S SCARY I DON'T KNOW >living at home with parents >brother and his family visiting >they have a 5 year old kid >shut in so don't leave my room to talk to them whole time they're visiting >"OK ANON WE'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE" >uh, I guess I should at least go out and see them off so mom doesn't have another talk with me about being 84 KB PNG antisocial >all standing around the door waiting for them to leave but the actual adults are talking to each other >take a piece of candy from a bowl on the kitchen counter >F--- it, I can be the cool uncle, I'll give a piece to the kid >kid really happy, feels good >kids happily shows her mom, my Sister in Law >SIL suddenly goes a------ >Screaming at the kid, how she already told them no and how it's wrong to blatantly ignore the rules, theft >really tearing into the kid >they're just blubbering now >"B-BB- BUT I DIDN'T-- A-A ANON IS. IS THE-" >SIL: "STOP! I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth tonight" >slowly slink back to room while kid is dragged out crying and they leave I just wanted to be a cool uncle

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life's not fair | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago im-offing-myself.jpg (16.8 KB, 320x320) 50570874 Women HATE Thread >be me >working since i was 14 years old >fried burguers, painted wall, did whatever to get ends meet >studied math like a pig >get stupid job as math teacher where students throw s--- at me >make 60 thousand a year >pretend im happy >be belle delphine >be woman >wear make up >learn how to stick tongue out >make 120 thousand a week on Patreon only >will probably be a millionaire in two months Why the f--- is this s--- allowed? I've never been so close to suicide before. This society does not deserve jack. I thought I was a p------------, but now I realize I'm too good for this. I'm out.
Anonymous 1 hour ago im-offing-myself.jpg (16.8 KB, 320x320) 50570874 Women HATE Thread >be me >working since i was 14 years old >fried burguers, painted wall, did whatever to get ends meet >studied math like a pig >get stupid job as math teacher where students throw s--- at me >make 60 thousand a year >pretend im happy >be belle delphine >be woman >wear make up >learn how to stick tongue out >make 120 thousand a week on Patreon only >will probably be a millionaire in two months Why the f--- is this s--- allowed? I've never been so close to suicide before. This society does not deserve jack. I thought I was a p------------, but now I realize I'm too good for this. I'm out.

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anon has his life changed | /r/Greentext

jpg (314 kB, 1920x1200) No.50772233 Anonymous 3 hr. ago How has 4chan changed your life >I just called my mom a n----- 13 replies
jpg (314 kB, 1920x1200) No.50772233 Anonymous 3 hr. ago How has 4chan changed your life >I just called my mom a n----- 13 replies

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