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Anon predicts the Zelda movie trailer | /r/Greentext

GANON ZELDA Zelda movie trailer prediction >Nintendo and Sony presents: >How you like me now by the heavy starts playing >Giant grass field with camera panning over >Deep voice Narration: in the magical world of Hyrule, somethings gone wrong >Link who's played by Michael Cera wakes up and yawns for 10 seconds 116 KB JPG >The forest people are urged to have a meeting and a knight from Hyrule castle says "our princess Zelda has been kidnapped, we need a warrior from each tribe worthy to save her" >The trial is pulling a sword from a stone >Link who's still half asleep pulls it out breaking part of the sword and says "uh oh" >Training sequence where Link, a Goron who's played by Dwayne Johnson and a Zora played by Thomas Brodie Sangster have to run through an ancient fire temple solving puzzles >Cuts to a scene of a room filled with jars, Link says "I gotta smash em" as it cuts to the Goron and Zora looking at each other in silence while you hear shattering of pots >Cuts to Zelda who's played by Saoirse Ronan as she's kicking Ganondorfs (Jim Carrey) ass, and she gets caged by one of his minions played by Keegan Michael Key >Multiple different cuts with Link, the Goron and Zora as they cross the land of Hyrule >Cuts to them in a cave and Link swings his sword at an enemy making a loud "HYAAH" sound >Zora says "get on link" and let's Link ride him across lake hylia like he's David hasselhoff in the SpongeBob movie >Goron eats a rock and let's out a giant fart before the screen cuts to "2025" >Trailer ends with Link saying "why's my hand glowing? Why's my hand glowing??"
GANON ZELDA Zelda movie trailer prediction >Nintendo and Sony presents: >How you like me now by the heavy starts playing >Giant grass field with camera panning over >Deep voice Narration: in the magical world of Hyrule, somethings gone wrong >Link who's played by Michael Cera wakes up and yawns for 10 seconds 116 KB JPG >The forest people are urged to have a meeting and a knight from Hyrule castle says "our princess Zelda has been kidnapped, we need a warrior from each tribe worthy to save her" >The trial is pulling a sword from a stone >Link who's still half asleep pulls it out breaking part of the sword and says "uh oh" >Training sequence where Link, a Goron who's played by Dwayne Johnson and a Zora played by Thomas Brodie Sangster have to run through an ancient fire temple solving puzzles >Cuts to a scene of a room filled with jars, Link says "I gotta smash em" as it cuts to the Goron and Zora looking at each other in silence while you hear shattering of pots >Cuts to Zelda who's played by Saoirse Ronan as she's kicking Ganondorfs (Jim Carrey) ass, and she gets caged by one of his minions played by Keegan Michael Key >Multiple different cuts with Link, the Goron and Zora as they cross the land of Hyrule >Cuts to them in a cave and Link swings his sword at an enemy making a loud "HYAAH" sound >Zora says "get on link" and let's Link ride him across lake hylia like he's David hasselhoff in the SpongeBob movie >Goron eats a rock and let's out a giant fart before the screen cuts to "2025" >Trailer ends with Link saying "why's my hand glowing? Why's my hand glowing??"

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anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

I love my mom 25 KB JPG >Playing a high-stakes ranked competition on an online game >Only 4 people left, excluding my team >I have insanely perfect weapons/gear >99% chance of winning this >phone buzzes with a msg notification >"Hey sweetie can you help bring the groceries in? I'm in the driveway" >"Of course Mom" >Immediately leave match >Don't respond to teammates messages for the rest of the day (I'm talking to my mom) sorry guys, had to help with bags
I love my mom 25 KB JPG >Playing a high-stakes ranked competition on an online game >Only 4 people left, excluding my team >I have insanely perfect weapons/gear >99% chance of winning this >phone buzzes with a msg notification >"Hey sweetie can you help bring the groceries in? I'm in the driveway" >"Of course Mom" >Immediately leave match >Don't respond to teammates messages for the rest of the day (I'm talking to my mom) sorry guys, had to help with bags

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Many such cases

: Anonymous 11/08/23(Wed)05:20:35 No.191839909 Only the people who keep moving forward can know for sure. It's because I'm an idiot. oh no no no.jpg346 KB JPG.jpg 346 KB JPG >a very hyped and popular TV show/movie >The ending is the worst thing you've ever seen Every f------ time
: Anonymous 11/08/23(Wed)05:20:35 No.191839909 Only the people who keep moving forward can know for sure. It's because I'm an idiot. oh no no no.jpg346 KB JPG.jpg 346 KB JPG >a very hyped and popular TV show/movie >The ending is the worst thing you've ever seen Every f------ time

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anon is confused | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/7/2023, 7:39:46 PM No.43570235 2134 KB PNG > be me > 22 year old pizza delivery driver > trying to get fit > 30 y/o coworker is pretty toned, if a bit awkward > start working out with him, actually get in decent shape > invite him home for lunch/to watch football after a month of working out weekly together > wife makes us food > delicious > wife starts massaging my shoulders cause she loves me > notice coworker staring > says "must be nice to have a free masseuse" > wife offers to rub his shoulders > resists at first, but we convince him > after 3 minutes stands up while starting to cry > keeps saying hes sorry and leaves, won't explain > text him asking if he's okay > doesn't respond > both of us super confused > give it a half hour and then rail my wife on the couch > pic related
Anonymous 11/7/2023, 7:39:46 PM No.43570235 2134 KB PNG > be me > 22 year old pizza delivery driver > trying to get fit > 30 y/o coworker is pretty toned, if a bit awkward > start working out with him, actually get in decent shape > invite him home for lunch/to watch football after a month of working out weekly together > wife makes us food > delicious > wife starts massaging my shoulders cause she loves me > notice coworker staring > says "must be nice to have a free masseuse" > wife offers to rub his shoulders > resists at first, but we convince him > after 3 minutes stands up while starting to cry > keeps saying hes sorry and leaves, won't explain > text him asking if he's okay > doesn't respond > both of us super confused > give it a half hour and then rail my wife on the couch > pic related

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Anon gets his cover blown | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)17:33:05 No.908959898 download (2).jpg 7 KB JPG >the pretty girls at work found out I'm autistic, again
: Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)17:33:05 No.908959898 download (2).jpg 7 KB JPG >the pretty girls at work found out I'm autistic, again

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Anon takes an evening walk | /r/Greentext


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friend sent me this lmao | /r/Greentext

File: CA8C9633-C810-4B75-8F66-D(...).gif (1.64 MB, 500x374) O I almost failed no nut november Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)11:22:16 No.908935451 >>908935521 >be me >somehow make it to day 7 of no nut november >also be dumbass who has a habit of edging or looking at sexy pics without thinking >feel my heart sink as the unmistakable feeling of an orgasm begins to boil up >imminentdeath.wav >somewhere deep within I just feel something say >no >using all of my physical and mental willpower against the nut >onepunchmanop1.mp4 >I fight it with all of my might and actually feel it begin to go back >w-- its working >using the power within I send both the j--- and the orgasm back down >feeling of both relief and newfound confidence >realize that what got my into it was stupid >also realize that I'm more capable than I though >picrel Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)11:23:59 No.908935521 >>908935451 (OP) # hey how about just not yanking your p----- and shutting about about it
File: CA8C9633-C810-4B75-8F66-D(...).gif (1.64 MB, 500x374) O I almost failed no nut november Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)11:22:16 No.908935451 >>908935521 >be me >somehow make it to day 7 of no nut november >also be dumbass who has a habit of edging or looking at sexy pics without thinking >feel my heart sink as the unmistakable feeling of an orgasm begins to boil up >imminentdeath.wav >somewhere deep within I just feel something say >no >using all of my physical and mental willpower against the nut >onepunchmanop1.mp4 >I fight it with all of my might and actually feel it begin to go back >w-- its working >using the power within I send both the j--- and the orgasm back down >feeling of both relief and newfound confidence >realize that what got my into it was stupid >also realize that I'm more capable than I though >picrel Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)11:23:59 No.908935521 >>908935451 (OP) # hey how about just not yanking your p----- and shutting about about it

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anon played Elden Ring | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)13:56:58 No.908936739 ▶ >"You sure you want me to remove my socks? i've been wearing them all day long. My feet must be incredible dirty. Oh you actually prefer them when they're stinky? that is so strange, i have never met anyone quite like you, tarnished. What's that? you want me to spread open my toes for you, that is such an odd request. I am not of this world so i do not quite understand the costumes of this land. Are all tarnished this peculiar? Tarnished, why are you removing your belt? i see, so you wish to touch yourself while smelling my stinky feet, you really are a curious character. Smelling my stinky feet is truly necessary to destroy the Edtree. I will trust in you, go ahead and smell my feet, tarnished, get a big whiff, one that fills your lungs. For this moment forward i will stop washing my feet, and i will let you smell them as often as you wish. It is my duty to guide you to the Edtree."
Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)13:56:58 No.908936739 ▶ >"You sure you want me to remove my socks? i've been wearing them all day long. My feet must be incredible dirty. Oh you actually prefer them when they're stinky? that is so strange, i have never met anyone quite like you, tarnished. What's that? you want me to spread open my toes for you, that is such an odd request. I am not of this world so i do not quite understand the costumes of this land. Are all tarnished this peculiar? Tarnished, why are you removing your belt? i see, so you wish to touch yourself while smelling my stinky feet, you really are a curious character. Smelling my stinky feet is truly necessary to destroy the Edtree. I will trust in you, go ahead and smell my feet, tarnished, get a big whiff, one that fills your lungs. For this moment forward i will stop washing my feet, and i will let you smell them as often as you wish. It is my duty to guide you to the Edtree."

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Anon is a jellybean enthusiast | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)21:00:27 No.908910278 >be me >jelly bean enthusiast >favorite candy >best combination to eat in small handfuls is: cotton candy, creme soda, tutti frutti. youre welcome
Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)21:00:27 No.908910278 >be me >jelly bean enthusiast >favorite candy >best combination to eat in small handfuls is: cotton candy, creme soda, tutti frutti. youre welcome

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anon tells it as it is. | /r/Greentext

TRAILER HD 2:13 THE MARVELS Final Trailer (2023) 11K views • 8 hours ago absolute state of marvel Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)05:16:22 No.191824832 [Reply] >iron man suit on the thumbnail >20 second flashback to Avengers >some unintresting black vilain with magic hammer and multidimensional s-o-y-slop >black girl magic! they are f------ desperate >>191838176
TRAILER HD 2:13 THE MARVELS Final Trailer (2023) 11K views • 8 hours ago absolute state of marvel Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)05:16:22 No.191824832 [Reply] >iron man suit on the thumbnail >20 second flashback to Avengers >some unintresting black vilain with magic hammer and multidimensional s-o-y-slop >black girl magic! they are f------ desperate >>191838176

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Anon brushes his hair | /r/Greentext

File: ETAXDaHX0AEbzNU.png (29 KB, 300x301) Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)19:12:45 No.75333749 >>75333779 >>75333834 >Be me, brushing my hair >sweep my hand across my head >there's a gap somewhere that didn't reach my hand >press it >there's a dent, w-- >keep touching it to make sure >it's not my hair, it's an actual dent in the middle of my head >90% sure it wasn't there before what the f---? how is this possible? why? Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)19:15:54 No.75333779 >>75333749 (OP) # It's a lobe cavity, you might develop one very rapidly when you get older and don't get much social interaction. More may appear in the coming months, so make sure you get extra pillows and consult your GD. Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)19:21:44 No.75333834 File: 1674767011703.jpg (25 KB, 400x400) >>75333749 (OP) # That is where we should have horns growing out. But sadly we don't have them anymore so there is holes in the head.
File: ETAXDaHX0AEbzNU.png (29 KB, 300x301) Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)19:12:45 No.75333749 >>75333779 >>75333834 >Be me, brushing my hair >sweep my hand across my head >there's a gap somewhere that didn't reach my hand >press it >there's a dent, w-- >keep touching it to make sure >it's not my hair, it's an actual dent in the middle of my head >90% sure it wasn't there before what the f---? how is this possible? why? Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)19:15:54 No.75333779 >>75333749 (OP) # It's a lobe cavity, you might develop one very rapidly when you get older and don't get much social interaction. More may appear in the coming months, so make sure you get extra pillows and consult your GD. Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)19:21:44 No.75333834 File: 1674767011703.jpg (25 KB, 400x400) >>75333749 (OP) # That is where we should have horns growing out. But sadly we don't have them anymore so there is holes in the head.

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Femanon is a closet lesbian | /r/Greentext

File: images (14) (2).jpg (17 KB, 738x416) Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)19:06:49 No.75333701 >>75333721 >>75333731 >>75333793 >>75333844 >>75333706 >Be me, a closeted turbo lesbian >Living in a homophobic country >Stumble across this cozy burger place with a 60s psychedelic theme >THE CUTEST brunette I've ever seen standing at the cash register >Attention is solely on me because the place is empty with a thunderstorm outside >Mumbles my order because her cute smile was driving me into a nervous breakdown >She just giggles and tells me to write down my order if I am not sure >Do that >Brings me my order and adds fries to them even though I haven't paid for it >Brings it to her attention and she just winks at me >Already going through a period so I holding myself back from bursting into tears >Tfw I came back another day and never saw her again >Tfw I'll never have this stranger >Tfw I realize I'll probably die alone
File: images (14) (2).jpg (17 KB, 738x416) Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)19:06:49 No.75333701 >>75333721 >>75333731 >>75333793 >>75333844 >>75333706 >Be me, a closeted turbo lesbian >Living in a homophobic country >Stumble across this cozy burger place with a 60s psychedelic theme >THE CUTEST brunette I've ever seen standing at the cash register >Attention is solely on me because the place is empty with a thunderstorm outside >Mumbles my order because her cute smile was driving me into a nervous breakdown >She just giggles and tells me to write down my order if I am not sure >Do that >Brings me my order and adds fries to them even though I haven't paid for it >Brings it to her attention and she just winks at me >Already going through a period so I holding myself back from bursting into tears >Tfw I came back another day and never saw her again >Tfw I'll never have this stranger >Tfw I realize I'll probably die alone

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Anon considers Christianity | /r/Greentext

File: Reddragon.jpg (119 KB, 464x599) Should I become a christian because I'm an incel? Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)20:52:00 No.75334726 ▶ >>75334950 >Never had sex >Hate hookup culture >Despise p--- and hoes >Want a pure gf >Fear of going to hell >Never hurt anyone Should I become a christian because I'm an incel?
File: Reddragon.jpg (119 KB, 464x599) Should I become a christian because I'm an incel? Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)20:52:00 No.75334726 ▶ >>75334950 >Never had sex >Hate hookup culture >Despise p--- and hoes >Want a pure gf >Fear of going to hell >Never hurt anyone Should I become a christian because I'm an incel?

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Anon meets a woman | /r/Greentext

File: x5k793wl8it81.jpg (60 KB, 1434x1080) Depression Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue) 20:53:25 No.75334742 >>75334823 >>75334884 >be me >25 KHV depressoid p--- addict >woman approaches me and gives me her number for the first time in my life >we actually have a good long running conversation >haven't thought about p--- in a week >urge to compulsively masturbate is gone >don't even know if the conversation will last W-- happened?
File: x5k793wl8it81.jpg (60 KB, 1434x1080) Depression Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue) 20:53:25 No.75334742 >>75334823 >>75334884 >be me >25 KHV depressoid p--- addict >woman approaches me and gives me her number for the first time in my life >we actually have a good long running conversation >haven't thought about p--- in a week >urge to compulsively masturbate is gone >don't even know if the conversation will last W-- happened?

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Anon's parents get divorced | /r/Greentext

File: 1696451650253473.jpg (346 KB, 800x1017) ITT: odd or f----- up things you did with your parents thread Anonymous 11/07/23 (Tue)20:55:13 No.75334766 >>75334774 >>75334787 T Sweet X-tete. I'll begin myself >be me >turkish but was born in germany so I have german citizenship >come from a household where the relationship is a bit shaky, in short though: my parents divorce >Dad ends up living alone and is too retarded to figure out the household, he for whatever reason concludes that he should get a maid (as those are apparently common even in middle class in the middle east) >rather than hire one through some company or whatever, he alongside myself, approaches random arab or brown in general woman that he see's out in the streets, and asks them if they want to work as maids >the weirdest part would be that it eventually works. However whenever the maids do even the tiniest mistake or annoy him, he threatens to report them to the german authorities as the women in question are usually illegal immigrants >has told one on the german authorities and she got deported infact what unusual things did you guys do with your parents?
File: 1696451650253473.jpg (346 KB, 800x1017) ITT: odd or f----- up things you did with your parents thread Anonymous 11/07/23 (Tue)20:55:13 No.75334766 >>75334774 >>75334787 T Sweet X-tete. I'll begin myself >be me >turkish but was born in germany so I have german citizenship >come from a household where the relationship is a bit shaky, in short though: my parents divorce >Dad ends up living alone and is too retarded to figure out the household, he for whatever reason concludes that he should get a maid (as those are apparently common even in middle class in the middle east) >rather than hire one through some company or whatever, he alongside myself, approaches random arab or brown in general woman that he see's out in the streets, and asks them if they want to work as maids >the weirdest part would be that it eventually works. However whenever the maids do even the tiniest mistake or annoy him, he threatens to report them to the german authorities as the women in question are usually illegal immigrants >has told one on the german authorities and she got deported infact what unusual things did you guys do with your parents?

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Anon gets a massage | /r/Greentext

Anonymous apres 11/05/23(Sun)15:35:13 No.75311559 >be me, 30 year old khv wizard >Back-and-shoulders day at the gym, working out with a much younger coworker (22) who asked for my help to get in shape >coworker offers lunch at his house after we get done, I take him up on it >when we get there he introduces me to his wife, very pleasant young woman, she makes a lunch for us >coworker asks me to stay to watch football, I agree to >his wife asks how things are going at the gym, she thanks me for helping him out >realize this is the first positive thing a woman has said to me in a long time >during the game, coworker sits on the floor in front of his wife who sits on the couch and massages his shoulders >coworker notices me staring >I say It must be nice to have a free masseuse >they laugh and she says Come here, your turn >I try to say no, but neither of them will have any of that and the coworker practically drags me over to sit on the floor in front of his wife >she begins to rub my shoulders and I am not exaggerating when I tell you it was the most pleasurable physical experiences I have ever felt, this is the first time that a woman has touched me with gentleness >Struck by an intense wave of depression as I realize that my younger coworker has figured out how to convince a woman to touch him gently at 22 while I am f------ 30 years old and still cannot even figure out how to get a woman to go on a date with me. 477 KB GIF >My coworker has figured out how not to be a lonely man at 22 and I am a 30 year old man who has never even kissed a girl >actually start crying and stand up to leave >both of them ask me what is wrong and try to keep me from leaving >I just keep saying I am sorry and run out to my car, feel deep shame as I watch them stare at me sobbing in my car as I back out of their driveway and speed off >coworker texts me asking me to call him when I can I hate myself so much, I cannot stand it. I bore witness to a life literally a hundred times better than my own and it broke me.
Anonymous apres 11/05/23(Sun)15:35:13 No.75311559 >be me, 30 year old khv wizard >Back-and-shoulders day at the gym, working out with a much younger coworker (22) who asked for my help to get in shape >coworker offers lunch at his house after we get done, I take him up on it >when we get there he introduces me to his wife, very pleasant young woman, she makes a lunch for us >coworker asks me to stay to watch football, I agree to >his wife asks how things are going at the gym, she thanks me for helping him out >realize this is the first positive thing a woman has said to me in a long time >during the game, coworker sits on the floor in front of his wife who sits on the couch and massages his shoulders >coworker notices me staring >I say It must be nice to have a free masseuse >they laugh and she says Come here, your turn >I try to say no, but neither of them will have any of that and the coworker practically drags me over to sit on the floor in front of his wife >she begins to rub my shoulders and I am not exaggerating when I tell you it was the most pleasurable physical experiences I have ever felt, this is the first time that a woman has touched me with gentleness >Struck by an intense wave of depression as I realize that my younger coworker has figured out how to convince a woman to touch him gently at 22 while I am f------ 30 years old and still cannot even figure out how to get a woman to go on a date with me. 477 KB GIF >My coworker has figured out how not to be a lonely man at 22 and I am a 30 year old man who has never even kissed a girl >actually start crying and stand up to leave >both of them ask me what is wrong and try to keep me from leaving >I just keep saying I am sorry and run out to my car, feel deep shame as I watch them stare at me sobbing in my car as I back out of their driveway and speed off >coworker texts me asking me to call him when I can I hate myself so much, I cannot stand it. I bore witness to a life literally a hundred times better than my own and it broke me.

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Best friends dillema | /r/Greentext

11/07/23(Tue)18:27:10 No.33442597 Im an incel but I recently started feeling attraction towards my chad best friend... I want him so bad but presentable like this to him I am not. I dont even think of women anymore much he is occupying my mind all day. He has completely stolen my heart and Ive known him all my life... I wish we could be together. I dont know what to do now because love to a man is something I rarely experienced before and never to this level... It was always him in our childhood and our teenage years and now in college I only just now realised Im in actual love. : Anonymous 23 KB JPG Im crying in my bed as Im typing this realising he will probably never see me as anything other than the loser friend who tries to fit in... My heart is racing 11/07/23(Tue)18:34:33 No.33442667 Anonymous this is such a sweet post I hope u get him 11/07/23(Tue)18:35:20 No.33442672 : Anonymous >>33442597 (OP) # if you start estrogen you might be able to get him : Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)18:37:14 No.33442686 gl sister i hope your chad bf (best friend) becomes your chad bf (romantic)
11/07/23(Tue)18:27:10 No.33442597 Im an incel but I recently started feeling attraction towards my chad best friend... I want him so bad but presentable like this to him I am not. I dont even think of women anymore much he is occupying my mind all day. He has completely stolen my heart and Ive known him all my life... I wish we could be together. I dont know what to do now because love to a man is something I rarely experienced before and never to this level... It was always him in our childhood and our teenage years and now in college I only just now realised Im in actual love. : Anonymous 23 KB JPG Im crying in my bed as Im typing this realising he will probably never see me as anything other than the loser friend who tries to fit in... My heart is racing 11/07/23(Tue)18:34:33 No.33442667 Anonymous this is such a sweet post I hope u get him 11/07/23(Tue)18:35:20 No.33442672 : Anonymous >>33442597 (OP) # if you start estrogen you might be able to get him : Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)18:37:14 No.33442686 gl sister i hope your chad bf (best friend) becomes your chad bf (romantic)

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Anon discovers the reality of OCD | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BA 10 KB JPG 11/07/23(Tue) 13:00:22 No.75334197 >Be me >Have been in a relationship for almost two years now >I love her to death but her OCD is exhausting >She can't leave a room without turning the light switch on and off 50 times >She has to open and close the door multiple times before leaving >She has to repeat actions multiple times so her "hands feel even" >She's afraid of kitchen floors and can't walk in kitchens without special slippers >She thinks everything is contaminated and is constantly disinfecting everything >Her hands are always raw because she washes them so much Even with therapy and medication she suffers so much. Sometimes I think I should break up because she deserves someone who can help her. But she's so perfect otherwise. Sigh
: Anonymous BA 10 KB JPG 11/07/23(Tue) 13:00:22 No.75334197 >Be me >Have been in a relationship for almost two years now >I love her to death but her OCD is exhausting >She can't leave a room without turning the light switch on and off 50 times >She has to open and close the door multiple times before leaving >She has to repeat actions multiple times so her "hands feel even" >She's afraid of kitchen floors and can't walk in kitchens without special slippers >She thinks everything is contaminated and is constantly disinfecting everything >Her hands are always raw because she washes them so much Even with therapy and medication she suffers so much. Sometimes I think I should break up because she deserves someone who can help her. But she's so perfect otherwise. Sigh

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Anon has a family movie night | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex iqdb wait v >>88111638 >>88111677 >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"
Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex iqdb wait v >>88111638 >>88111677 >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"

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Lowest female standards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 795 KB JPG 11/07/23(Tue)19:14:20 No.908927356 Why can't I find a man who >Has a penis >isn't racist >doesn't watch p---/masturbate >makes $100k+ >is over 5'10 >Doesn't have a criminal record >Isn't gay >isn't bisexual >isn't fat >has muscles but not too much >isn't ugly >has his own house
: Anonymous 795 KB JPG 11/07/23(Tue)19:14:20 No.908927356 Why can't I find a man who >Has a penis >isn't racist >doesn't watch p---/masturbate >makes $100k+ >is over 5'10 >Doesn't have a criminal record >Isn't gay >isn't bisexual >isn't fat >has muscles but not too much >isn't ugly >has his own house

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