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Anon can’t get it up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:31:29 No.168224377 >get whisky d--- even if i drink oen pint >every single time a womans been interestted in me ive been drinking and cant get hard 437 KB GIF >>168224434 # >>168231695 # >>168232087 # >>168232434 # >>168233306 # >>168239293 # >>168239396 # : Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:32:51 No.168224434 >>168224377 # stop drinking retard >>168224489 # >>168224507 #
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:31:29 No.168224377 >get whisky d--- even if i drink oen pint >every single time a womans been interestted in me ive been drinking and cant get hard 437 KB GIF >>168224434 # >>168231695 # >>168232087 # >>168232434 # >>168233306 # >>168239293 # >>168239396 # : Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)11:32:51 No.168224434 >>168224377 # stop drinking retard >>168224489 # >>168224507 #

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Anon is a businessman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)15:50:37 No.65823522 >make a reddit account posing as a girl >repost nudes i got from /b/ >invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG >send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff >return that stuff for money >use that money to tip camgirls
: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)15:50:37 No.65823522 >make a reddit account posing as a girl >repost nudes i got from /b/ >invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG >send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff >return that stuff for money >use that money to tip camgirls

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue)09:52:57 No.3792971 >first date >ask what's her favorite dinosaur >ummm I don't know,stegosaurus maybe? >explain why she's wrong for next two hours
: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue)09:52:57 No.3792971 >first date >ask what's her favorite dinosaur >ummm I don't know,stegosaurus maybe? >explain why she's wrong for next two hours

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)08:41:44 No.878446942 >Be with friend >Friend goes to take a s--- >Friend leaves phone on table and unlocked >See opportunity to do a little trolling 39 KB JPG >Open his Facebook >"I'm gay." >Kek.jpeg >Phone starts blowing up >"Omg anon I knew it!" >"I still support you bro." >Dad starts yelling what's the f--- is this s---?! From upstairs >most people supporting and believing it. >Friend comes back out and notices all the notifications and hears dad yelling >Some people still question him to this day
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)08:41:44 No.878446942 >Be with friend >Friend goes to take a s--- >Friend leaves phone on table and unlocked >See opportunity to do a little trolling 39 KB JPG >Open his Facebook >"I'm gay." >Kek.jpeg >Phone starts blowing up >"Omg anon I knew it!" >"I still support you bro." >Dad starts yelling what's the f--- is this s---?! From upstairs >most people supporting and believing it. >Friend comes back out and notices all the notifications and hears dad yelling >Some people still question him to this day

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anon is serbian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)22:40:02 No.876602853 >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her 50 KB JPG >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >I explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay
Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)22:40:02 No.876602853 >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her 50 KB JPG >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >I explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay

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Anon gets an F | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (224 KB, 620x413) F □ Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)17:39:23 No.68385885 [Reply]► >>68386194 >turn in a paper for school using properly formatted grammar and paragraphs >instructor gives me an F; writes "reddit spacing, opinion discarded" on the top of the page
File: file.png (224 KB, 620x413) F □ Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)17:39:23 No.68385885 [Reply]► >>68386194 >turn in a paper for school using properly formatted grammar and paragraphs >instructor gives me an F; writes "reddit spacing, opinion discarded" on the top of the page

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why can't zoomers speak English? | /r/Greentext

>be me >20 year old zoomer >supersingle >try to talk to fellow zoomer girl >hello >THATS KINDA SUS 16 KB JPG >KPOP >TIKTOK >LOL I LOVE MEMES IM SO QUIRKY why are they like this
>be me >20 year old zoomer >supersingle >try to talk to fellow zoomer girl >hello >THATS KINDA SUS 16 KB JPG >KPOP >TIKTOK >LOL I LOVE MEMES IM SO QUIRKY why are they like this

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Anon might be autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Story time anons: >be me >wandering Walmart cuz bored after work 16 KB JPG >enter tech department >7/10 qt walks up to me >phone sales girl >starts asking me about my phone and what carrier I use etc. >autism.exe >need to do something with my hands >pull keys out of pocket and start fiddling with them >have tiny tape measure on keys >start playing with it >justthetip.png >drop my keys while still holding tip >oh fug oh fug oh fug >spaghetti.jpg >idea.ppt >pulls up on tape measure >continues to pull >eventually it reaches the end and pulls the keys with it >without breaking eye contact or bending down >suck back in tape measure tape >metallicwhoosh.mp3 >7/10 qt looks concerned but continues with her shpiel >speak for the first time since she started talking to me 5 minutes ago >say no thanks and leaves >spaghetti trailing behind me I might genuinely be autistic, at this point wouldn't surprise me. Pic related. 05/18/22(Wed)21:13:14 No.878426020
: Anonymous Story time anons: >be me >wandering Walmart cuz bored after work 16 KB JPG >enter tech department >7/10 qt walks up to me >phone sales girl >starts asking me about my phone and what carrier I use etc. >autism.exe >need to do something with my hands >pull keys out of pocket and start fiddling with them >have tiny tape measure on keys >start playing with it >justthetip.png >drop my keys while still holding tip >oh fug oh fug oh fug >spaghetti.jpg >idea.ppt >pulls up on tape measure >continues to pull >eventually it reaches the end and pulls the keys with it >without breaking eye contact or bending down >suck back in tape measure tape >metallicwhoosh.mp3 >7/10 qt looks concerned but continues with her shpiel >speak for the first time since she started talking to me 5 minutes ago >say no thanks and leaves >spaghetti trailing behind me I might genuinely be autistic, at this point wouldn't surprise me. Pic related. 05/18/22(Wed)21:13:14 No.878426020

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Anon has integrity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Nietzsche spinning in his grave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LIRI7Taz 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >f----- teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living
: Anonymous (ID: LIRI7Taz 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >f----- teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living

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Anon has ball cancer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Question 05/19/22(Thu)09:59:18 No.31883152 Accidentally grabbed my balls today. God damn, my guys are pretty big now. It's really hard to hold both of 'em in one hand. So, should I be proud? 68 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)10:00:21 No.31883160 Dude you're suffering from tumor, testicle tumor,more like ball cancer. 2 Replies
: Anonymous Question 05/19/22(Thu)09:59:18 No.31883152 Accidentally grabbed my balls today. God damn, my guys are pretty big now. It's really hard to hold both of 'em in one hand. So, should I be proud? 68 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)10:00:21 No.31883160 Dude you're suffering from tumor, testicle tumor,more like ball cancer. 2 Replies

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Anon on American war movies. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)05:10:54 No.68688990 Why do modern American war movies lie about everything? Pic related being the best example: LONE SURVIVOR >The Taliban knew the seals were there immediately because they used helicopters in a f------ valley >They were never compromised by civie 274 KB JPG goat farmers (made up) >The Taliban sent 7-12 fighters max to ambush the the team (not 100 like in the film) >Danny got killed immediately after the ambush started >Marcus ran off without firing a single shot (the man who rescued him checked his kit/vest) >Axleson wandered off and died elsewhere >Murphy was the only one shown actively fighting the ambush on video, until he was hit and started crying out for Marcus to come back and help them (he didn't) >They didn't kill a single Taliban fighter during the ambush >Marcus forced the villagers who saved him to not utter a word of this to anyone
Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)05:10:54 No.68688990 Why do modern American war movies lie about everything? Pic related being the best example: LONE SURVIVOR >The Taliban knew the seals were there immediately because they used helicopters in a f------ valley >They were never compromised by civie 274 KB JPG goat farmers (made up) >The Taliban sent 7-12 fighters max to ambush the the team (not 100 like in the film) >Danny got killed immediately after the ambush started >Marcus ran off without firing a single shot (the man who rescued him checked his kit/vest) >Axleson wandered off and died elsewhere >Murphy was the only one shown actively fighting the ambush on video, until he was hit and started crying out for Marcus to come back and help them (he didn't) >They didn't kill a single Taliban fighter during the ambush >Marcus forced the villagers who saved him to not utter a word of this to anyone

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Anon makes profit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)19:29:30 No.878441064 >>878440788 # > in bed with the girls > one nut in each mouth > lord Jesus this is better than a homeless f----- finding heroin > tell them to suck harder, l'm almost c------ > j--- > look down and realize there were 4 girls, one on each of my 4 nuts > remember that a radioactive spider bit me last week > profit
: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)19:29:30 No.878441064 >>878440788 # > in bed with the girls > one nut in each mouth > lord Jesus this is better than a homeless f----- finding heroin > tell them to suck harder, l'm almost c------ > j--- > look down and realize there were 4 girls, one on each of my 4 nuts > remember that a radioactive spider bit me last week > profit

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Anon admires Hank Hill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him 51 KB PNG in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?
: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him 51 KB PNG in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?

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Anon watches Black Panther | /r/Greentext

07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 : Anonymous >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" 374 KB JPG >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw
07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 : Anonymous >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" 374 KB JPG >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw

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sleepover pranks | /r/Greentext


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