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Anon friend have a forbidden secret. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG subject back up What does she do with it, bros? 7 Replies / 3 Images 06/15/22(Wed)23:40:06 No.880222915 >Drinking beers with my buddy >Sex life comes up >Talks about his last gf >Mentions she doesn't swallow >Ask him what she does with it >Immediately changes the subject >Gets p----- when I try to bring the View Thread
Anonymous 11 KB JPG subject back up What does she do with it, bros? 7 Replies / 3 Images 06/15/22(Wed)23:40:06 No.880222915 >Drinking beers with my buddy >Sex life comes up >Talks about his last gf >Mentions she doesn't swallow >Ask him what she does with it >Immediately changes the subject >Gets p----- when I try to bring the View Thread

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Cats are built different | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:12:14 2013 No.28948961 File: 196 KB, 800x548, cat spotter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report] Quoted by: >>28951790 >>28954630>>28956072 >>28938581 >>28938665 You have to teach your cat something useful. I had a buddy whose cat was his spotter in online gaming. Back in the day in Planetside 1, his cat would spazz out and bat at the screen while he was playing. At first he just got annoyed that the cat was getting in the way, but after a little while he realized that the cat could SEE the predator-esque ripple outline of cloakers moving around and was batting at them. After he realized that he got a lot of angry PM's accusing him of hacking when he would pop cloakers as soon as they turned up on his screen.
Anonymous Wed Dec 18 15:12:14 2013 No.28948961 File: 196 KB, 800x548, cat spotter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report] Quoted by: >>28951790 >>28954630>>28956072 >>28938581 >>28938665 You have to teach your cat something useful. I had a buddy whose cat was his spotter in online gaming. Back in the day in Planetside 1, his cat would spazz out and bat at the screen while he was playing. At first he just got annoyed that the cat was getting in the way, but after a little while he realized that the cat could SEE the predator-esque ripple outline of cloakers moving around and was batting at them. After he realized that he got a lot of angry PM's accusing him of hacking when he would pop cloakers as soon as they turned up on his screen.

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Anon's life moves upside down | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)12:22:20 >21 years of my mom taking me to doctors trying to figure out what's wrong with me >keeps hinting to doctors that I have autism 24 KB JPG >keeps trying to show me movies and books with autistic people in them to get me to understand that I'm autistic >sends me to a school for autists and learning disabilities >doctor diagnoses me with PTSD >mom gets diagnosed with autism Anyone else know this feel? No.60581964
: Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)12:22:20 >21 years of my mom taking me to doctors trying to figure out what's wrong with me >keeps hinting to doctors that I have autism 24 KB JPG >keeps trying to show me movies and books with autistic people in them to get me to understand that I'm autistic >sends me to a school for autists and learning disabilities >doctor diagnoses me with PTSD >mom gets diagnosed with autism Anyone else know this feel? No.60581964

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Anon is absolutely not gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)11:56:09 No.862547989 >be me, not gay EST >have an irresistibly huge attraction to cocks, especially small feminine ones >don't really want to touch them, just want to f--- someone with 77 KB JPG one >realize God made femboys for this exact reason >set my Tinder bio to femboys only >have 5+ wanting me in a few hours >go through 3 of them within a few days, women never felt like this, it was an addiction >they keep calling me gay for some reason, but I'm not, it's not gay to f--- femboys I'm correct, right anons? Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)11:57:10 No.862548030 >>862547989 (OP) # your gay as f--- h---
: Anonymous 09/06/21 (Mon)11:56:09 No.862547989 >be me, not gay EST >have an irresistibly huge attraction to cocks, especially small feminine ones >don't really want to touch them, just want to f--- someone with 77 KB JPG one >realize God made femboys for this exact reason >set my Tinder bio to femboys only >have 5+ wanting me in a few hours >go through 3 of them within a few days, women never felt like this, it was an addiction >they keep calling me gay for some reason, but I'm not, it's not gay to f--- femboys I'm correct, right anons? Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)11:57:10 No.862548030 >>862547989 (OP) # your gay as f--- h---

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Anon is just a centrist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/21 (Wed)18:40:29 No.64474293 >be me, white, 21 >have cancer, get it treated with chemo at the hospital >it's abosulte hell, but I manage to survive it >leave the hospital 31 KB JPG >few days later, I'm in the urban area to buy groceries >it's really busy & theres angry people walking through the streets with signs up, can't be bothered to even read it. >hear some guy screaming 'SKINHEAD' >group of people wearing black clothes starts beating me up and kicking me for no reason, manage to pull through >now I'm in the hospital again >Didn't see any of their faces because they were wearing masks, so the police can't arrest anyone Just kill me already. I'm not a skinhead, nazi, whatever. I'm not even a right winger. Just a centrist
: Anonymous 07/07/21 (Wed)18:40:29 No.64474293 >be me, white, 21 >have cancer, get it treated with chemo at the hospital >it's abosulte hell, but I manage to survive it >leave the hospital 31 KB JPG >few days later, I'm in the urban area to buy groceries >it's really busy & theres angry people walking through the streets with signs up, can't be bothered to even read it. >hear some guy screaming 'SKINHEAD' >group of people wearing black clothes starts beating me up and kicking me for no reason, manage to pull through >now I'm in the hospital again >Didn't see any of their faces because they were wearing masks, so the police can't arrest anyone Just kill me already. I'm not a skinhead, nazi, whatever. I'm not even a right winger. Just a centrist

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Anon has a minor inconvenience | /r/Greentext

03/07/21 (Sun)22:04:31 No.849038143 i swear to god i am f------ autistic or something. >be me, have a pretty hot girlfriend >use snapchat a lot with her, she's basically the only person i snap >send her a picture of myself with a boarder of black hearts >turns out i accidentally sent it to a friend i View Thread 03/07/21 (Sun)22:27:53 No.849039650 : Anonymous 49 KB PNG hadn't talked to in 2 years >mfw 6 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 78 KB JPG >>849038143 (OP) # >minor inconvenience >gUYS I Am AUTISTIc bro, shut the f--- up.
03/07/21 (Sun)22:04:31 No.849038143 i swear to god i am f------ autistic or something. >be me, have a pretty hot girlfriend >use snapchat a lot with her, she's basically the only person i snap >send her a picture of myself with a boarder of black hearts >turns out i accidentally sent it to a friend i View Thread 03/07/21 (Sun)22:27:53 No.849039650 : Anonymous 49 KB PNG hadn't talked to in 2 years >mfw 6 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 78 KB JPG >>849038143 (OP) # >minor inconvenience >gUYS I Am AUTISTIc bro, shut the f--- up.

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Anon uses the bathroom at school | /r/Greentext

School recently closed all except 2 of the bathrooms because of the stupid tik tok s--- >be senior in high school p----- off about the bathrooms 136 KB PNG >yesterday I drive out to a local asian make your own stir fry restaurant after school (seniors get off two hours earlier than underclassmen and can come back to just hang out or whatever) >make a bowl that contains ingredients and sauce that will produce the foul s--- the human digestive system can produce >go to the walmart nearby and pick up a bottle of milk (lactose intolerant) >drive back to school >head to the unlocked bathroom >chug the milk all in one go >I sweat in pain as I push out what feels like viscous streams of molten lava as I blow a mt st helens in this toilet >as I recover, the other two waiting in line vacate themselves from the bathroom >I flush the putrid waste knowing damn well it won't go down >the bell rings as the hallway begins to smell like a chain of a--- bead shaped garlic is ripped from Wario's unshaven a------ They may lock up our bathrooms, but they'll never lock up our spirit
School recently closed all except 2 of the bathrooms because of the stupid tik tok s--- >be senior in high school p----- off about the bathrooms 136 KB PNG >yesterday I drive out to a local asian make your own stir fry restaurant after school (seniors get off two hours earlier than underclassmen and can come back to just hang out or whatever) >make a bowl that contains ingredients and sauce that will produce the foul s--- the human digestive system can produce >go to the walmart nearby and pick up a bottle of milk (lactose intolerant) >drive back to school >head to the unlocked bathroom >chug the milk all in one go >I sweat in pain as I push out what feels like viscous streams of molten lava as I blow a mt st helens in this toilet >as I recover, the other two waiting in line vacate themselves from the bathroom >I flush the putrid waste knowing damn well it won't go down >the bell rings as the hallway begins to smell like a chain of a--- bead shaped garlic is ripped from Wario's unshaven a------ They may lock up our bathrooms, but they'll never lock up our spirit

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Anon is a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)06:11:17 No.785181182 >ok looking girl 55 >play online games and make friends >guys constantly protecting me in game cuz I'm a gamer girl 8 KB JPG >username is LOVE >men always calling me love and making sure I'm protected in game >befriend one, voice doesn't sound too bad >exchange pictures >literally the ugliest person I've ever seen What to do?
Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)06:11:17 No.785181182 >ok looking girl 55 >play online games and make friends >guys constantly protecting me in game cuz I'm a gamer girl 8 KB JPG >username is LOVE >men always calling me love and making sure I'm protected in game >befriend one, voice doesn't sound too bad >exchange pictures >literally the ugliest person I've ever seen What to do?

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Anon is not a dumbass | /r/Greentext

12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 : Anonymous >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie >not obsessed with male hierarchy >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.
12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 : Anonymous >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie >not obsessed with male hierarchy >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.

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devs are smart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:57:50 No.595232358 >>595232409 >>595232435 >>595232487 >>595232604 >>595232652 >>595232841 >>595233531 >>595233616 >>595234743 The f--- kind of name is "Kid"? How am I supposed to look up p--- of her? >> Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:58:36 No.595232409 Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:58:55 No.595232435 >>595232358 (OP) # Devs played 4d chess with that one
Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:57:50 No.595232358 >>595232409 >>595232435 >>595232487 >>595232604 >>595232652 >>595232841 >>595233531 >>595233616 >>595234743 The f--- kind of name is "Kid"? How am I supposed to look up p--- of her? >> Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:58:36 No.595232409 Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:58:55 No.595232435 >>595232358 (OP) # Devs played 4d chess with that one

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anon have brain damage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/22(Mon) 20:55:35 No.880487594 >be me >have brain damage >go to chiropractor >chiropractor is lesbian so stop by shelter to get big dog 19 KB JPG >toughie blabbering about $250 or something but eventually says the word free >they tell me I have brain damage >thatswhyimhere.jpeg >go to pay >her slutty receptionist GF wants to charge me >I tell them I have brain damage >they tell me I have brain damage >I tell them I have brain damage >why are women like this
: Anonymous 06/20/22(Mon) 20:55:35 No.880487594 >be me >have brain damage >go to chiropractor >chiropractor is lesbian so stop by shelter to get big dog 19 KB JPG >toughie blabbering about $250 or something but eventually says the word free >they tell me I have brain damage >thatswhyimhere.jpeg >go to pay >her slutty receptionist GF wants to charge me >I tell them I have brain damage >they tell me I have brain damage >I tell them I have brain damage >why are women like this

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Femanon ruins a first date | /r/Greentext


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Anon quotes Attack on Titan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Kino moments 1603198234852.jpg 683 KB JPG >Reiner! Are you sure about this?! Are we really going to start our Attack on Titan?! : Anonymous 10/20/20(Tue)15:49:25 No.210426735 He didn't say that >>210426769 # >>210426814 # >>210427207 # 10/20/20(Tue)15:34:41 No.210426073
: Anonymous Kino moments 1603198234852.jpg 683 KB JPG >Reiner! Are you sure about this?! Are we really going to start our Attack on Titan?! : Anonymous 10/20/20(Tue)15:49:25 No.210426735 He didn't say that >>210426769 # >>210426814 # >>210427207 # 10/20/20(Tue)15:34:41 No.210426073

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Anon wants to break a finger | /r/Greentext

05/17/22(Tue)08:27:40 No.68662744 How do I break a finger as painlessly as possible? Called in sick to work, boss asked why and my autism kicked in and I said I broke my finger. 24 KB PNG Have decided on right pinky. Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)08:28:59 No.68662755 >>68662744 (OP) Just put it in a cast/brace without breaking it dumbass No, actually on second thought go slam your finger in a door hinge. Sage. Anonymous
05/17/22(Tue)08:27:40 No.68662744 How do I break a finger as painlessly as possible? Called in sick to work, boss asked why and my autism kicked in and I said I broke my finger. 24 KB PNG Have decided on right pinky. Anonymous 05/17/22(Tue)08:28:59 No.68662755 >>68662744 (OP) Just put it in a cast/brace without breaking it dumbass No, actually on second thought go slam your finger in a door hinge. Sage. Anonymous

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Anon is a beta snitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283
: Anonymous >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283

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Anon's not American | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ZUpBXMhn) Chocolate Oreo® Shake - Large BR OREO Shake chocolate How is that legal? 07/20/21(Tue)16:16:04 No.330796112 Nutrition Facts Allergy Data Serving Size 1 Serving (32 fl oz) Contains: Yes No Amount Per Serving Crustaceans X Calories 2600 Calories from Fat 1220 Eggs X % Daily Value* Fish x Milk Total Fat 135g 208% Saturated Fat 59g 295% Peanuts Trans Fat 2.5g Cholesterol 185mg 62% 74% Wheat Sodium 1770mg Total Carbohydrates 333g Dietary Fiber 13g Sugar 263g Protein 38g Vitamin A Vitamin C Calcium Iron 1626591965058.jpg 54 KB JPG 111% 52% 40% 8% 90% 80% Soy Tree Nuts
Anonymous (ID: ZUpBXMhn) Chocolate Oreo® Shake - Large BR OREO Shake chocolate How is that legal? 07/20/21(Tue)16:16:04 No.330796112 Nutrition Facts Allergy Data Serving Size 1 Serving (32 fl oz) Contains: Yes No Amount Per Serving Crustaceans X Calories 2600 Calories from Fat 1220 Eggs X % Daily Value* Fish x Milk Total Fat 135g 208% Saturated Fat 59g 295% Peanuts Trans Fat 2.5g Cholesterol 185mg 62% 74% Wheat Sodium 1770mg Total Carbohydrates 333g Dietary Fiber 13g Sugar 263g Protein 38g Vitamin A Vitamin C Calcium Iron 1626591965058.jpg 54 KB JPG 111% 52% 40% 8% 90% 80% Soy Tree Nuts

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