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Anon speaks out about r/greentext | /r/Greentext

: Leafman Le Reddit Goodthink NEEAAUUUUHA 09/04/22(Sun)12:05:23 No.70084331 78 KB JPG >Decide to look at reddit >find R/greentext >They simultaneously worship and hate us >They Think everything is fake >They Think everything is gay >The entire thing is run by troons >Comments filled with groomers >eternal circlejerk for doing goodthinks >brigades against anons who do wrongthinks We're not safe anymore, Anons. They're watching us.
: Leafman Le Reddit Goodthink NEEAAUUUUHA 09/04/22(Sun)12:05:23 No.70084331 78 KB JPG >Decide to look at reddit >find R/greentext >They simultaneously worship and hate us >They Think everything is fake >They Think everything is gay >The entire thing is run by troons >Comments filled with groomers >eternal circlejerk for doing goodthinks >brigades against anons who do wrongthinks We're not safe anymore, Anons. They're watching us.

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anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 962 KB GIF 02/16/22 (Wed)18:54:47 No.67457125 >boss calls me into his office with HR >he tells me they got a customer complaint that I was very "stand-off" and "distant" and that I need to communicate better and be more cheerful >for some reason say "Sorry, I'm austistic." >I'm not even diagnosed as autistic >he apologizes and tells me to get back to work >fast forward 2 weeks to today >coworkers tell me to check the website, front page is "Diversity and Equal Opportunity" and a "Get to know Our Team" >a slide show automatically starts and there's some of my black coworkers, someone in a wheel chair and then me from an office christmas party photo, with my name and blurb stating "Anon is autistic but we find his unique approach and creativity a huge attribute to >HR printed off a bunch of posters of "Our Diversity is Our Strength" and "Disabilities are different Abilities" and I'm on the disability one, they photoshopped a puzzle ribbon by me, they're framed all around the office >suddenly coworkers start treating me like an actual retard and women talk to me like I'm some sort of retarded child 11 >manager started calling me "big guy" and constantly asks if I need help despite being fine
Anonymous 962 KB GIF 02/16/22 (Wed)18:54:47 No.67457125 >boss calls me into his office with HR >he tells me they got a customer complaint that I was very "stand-off" and "distant" and that I need to communicate better and be more cheerful >for some reason say "Sorry, I'm austistic." >I'm not even diagnosed as autistic >he apologizes and tells me to get back to work >fast forward 2 weeks to today >coworkers tell me to check the website, front page is "Diversity and Equal Opportunity" and a "Get to know Our Team" >a slide show automatically starts and there's some of my black coworkers, someone in a wheel chair and then me from an office christmas party photo, with my name and blurb stating "Anon is autistic but we find his unique approach and creativity a huge attribute to >HR printed off a bunch of posters of "Our Diversity is Our Strength" and "Disabilities are different Abilities" and I'm on the disability one, they photoshopped a puzzle ribbon by me, they're framed all around the office >suddenly coworkers start treating me like an actual retard and women talk to me like I'm some sort of retarded child 11 >manager started calling me "big guy" and constantly asks if I need help despite being fine

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Anon doesn't know | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 791795067 193.2 kB PNG >be me >or not be me pic related 25 min. ago
Anonymous | 791795067 193.2 kB PNG >be me >or not be me pic related 25 min. ago

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Anon is too smart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous University Harem 37 KB PNG 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple
Anonymous University Harem 37 KB PNG 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple

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Anon fucks up the family dinner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat) 22:21:31 No.170333197 >having dinner >mum talking about her new dress >jokingly tell her "it makes you look like you're built for BBC" >sister spits out her drink laughing >mum doesn't get it at first, then becomes fuming >>170333238 # >>170333239 # >>170333249 # >>170333303 # >>170333319 # >>170333342 # >>170333466 #
: Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat) 22:21:31 No.170333197 >having dinner >mum talking about her new dress >jokingly tell her "it makes you look like you're built for BBC" >sister spits out her drink laughing >mum doesn't get it at first, then becomes fuming >>170333238 # >>170333239 # >>170333249 # >>170333303 # >>170333319 # >>170333342 # >>170333466 #

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Anon is the least racist 4channer | /r/Greentext

MY SIDES 47 KB JPG Let me tell you a story Anons that happened a little while ago. >be in school >school is in québec >liberal as f--- >inb4 québecfag >f------ deal with it >class is discussing multiverse theory >teacher is an annoying leftie hippie >try my best to ignore them and read my book >teacher mentions "if the mutliverse theory is true, there's an universe where hitler is right". >immediately say out loud "well duh it's this one". >whole class gets silent >look at me
MY SIDES 47 KB JPG Let me tell you a story Anons that happened a little while ago. >be in school >school is in québec >liberal as f--- >inb4 québecfag >f------ deal with it >class is discussing multiverse theory >teacher is an annoying leftie hippie >try my best to ignore them and read my book >teacher mentions "if the mutliverse theory is true, there's an universe where hitler is right". >immediately say out loud "well duh it's this one". >whole class gets silent >look at me

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anon describes patriarchy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Madami 126042391 11 min. ago >Can't be sent to prison. >Can't be drafted. >Given the right to vote w/o any stake in national consequences. >Is legally allowed to murder chrilden and celebrated for it. >Allowed to wear whatever they want in public while persecuting anyone else who wears something they don't like >Automatically presumed in 80%+ of instances to be the preferred guardian for kids. >Entitled to half her husbands wealth even if she is at fault for the marriage dying. >Can retroactively revoke consent she had previously given and ruin a man's career, social life and potentially force severe legal repercussions on her word alone. Patriarchy!
Anonymous Madami 126042391 11 min. ago >Can't be sent to prison. >Can't be drafted. >Given the right to vote w/o any stake in national consequences. >Is legally allowed to murder chrilden and celebrated for it. >Allowed to wear whatever they want in public while persecuting anyone else who wears something they don't like >Automatically presumed in 80%+ of instances to be the preferred guardian for kids. >Entitled to half her husbands wealth even if she is at fault for the marriage dying. >Can retroactively revoke consent she had previously given and ruin a man's career, social life and potentially force severe legal repercussions on her word alone. Patriarchy!

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anon's forbidden monster energy drink | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/28/13(Thu)06:09:54 UTC-8 No.518448623 Replies: >>518448648 >>518448852 >>518449112 >>518452257 >>518466242 >>518469495 okay guys i'll tell the story of C-- Jar 2010. >be me in highschool few years ago >graduate in 2010 >buddies and me need to think of epic senior prank ideas >cranes arent an option >hatch mastermind plan: Cumjar 2010 >the idea is simple, get a large glass jar and fill it with the c-- of every guy in school, then pour it on the headmaster's car >Cumjar 2010 spreads like wild fire >almost every male senior who wasnt a f------ p---- knows about the plan and has agreed to pitch in >cannot gradually fill jar over the course of say a week, no place to store cumjar, need to fill it on the spot >last day of school before graduation >all the guys meet at the bathrooms hardly anyone uses (near wood workshops) >take the jar in one at a time, j-------, come out, pass jar to the next guy >looking back on it now that was probably the gayest s--- i've ever done >three original masterminds (me and two friends) behind cumjar 2010 go last >cumjar is about 4/5 filled up with c-- >realize we have to carry a jar of c-- across the school from the bathroom we were at, over to the staff carpark >fuckthat.jpg >leave the school and take the street >long way around >find target car >pour c-- all over windscreen, doors, into every crack and crevace >c-- sets like icing on cake >leave the crime scene, destroy evidence >mfw the school knew exactly what happened, even the fact there was a jar involved >mfw we don't rat eachother out >mfw they don't know who was the mastermind >mfw they cant punish all of us >C-- Jar 2010
Anonymous 11/28/13(Thu)06:09:54 UTC-8 No.518448623 Replies: >>518448648 >>518448852 >>518449112 >>518452257 >>518466242 >>518469495 okay guys i'll tell the story of C-- Jar 2010. >be me in highschool few years ago >graduate in 2010 >buddies and me need to think of epic senior prank ideas >cranes arent an option >hatch mastermind plan: Cumjar 2010 >the idea is simple, get a large glass jar and fill it with the c-- of every guy in school, then pour it on the headmaster's car >Cumjar 2010 spreads like wild fire >almost every male senior who wasnt a f------ p---- knows about the plan and has agreed to pitch in >cannot gradually fill jar over the course of say a week, no place to store cumjar, need to fill it on the spot >last day of school before graduation >all the guys meet at the bathrooms hardly anyone uses (near wood workshops) >take the jar in one at a time, j-------, come out, pass jar to the next guy >looking back on it now that was probably the gayest s--- i've ever done >three original masterminds (me and two friends) behind cumjar 2010 go last >cumjar is about 4/5 filled up with c-- >realize we have to carry a jar of c-- across the school from the bathroom we were at, over to the staff carpark >fuckthat.jpg >leave the school and take the street >long way around >find target car >pour c-- all over windscreen, doors, into every crack and crevace >c-- sets like icing on cake >leave the crime scene, destroy evidence >mfw the school knew exactly what happened, even the fact there was a jar involved >mfw we don't rat eachother out >mfw they don't know who was the mastermind >mfw they cant punish all of us >C-- Jar 2010

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Anon worries about this world | /r/Greentext

>out for a drive >see someone texting while driving >enragement.exe >roll down my window >throw my beer at her f--- irresponsible drivers. the world is f------ doomed.
>out for a drive >see someone texting while driving >enragement.exe >roll down my window >throw my beer at her f--- irresponsible drivers. the world is f------ doomed.

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Anons life is unfair. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)07:27:41 No.63157818 662 KB PNG When did you realize that life was rigged against you? I'll start: >was quiet in high school, always tried to mind my own business even if it would be considered rude (e.g. wouldn't respond to people even if they called me by name), always kept my head down and made sure to walk a little fast in between classes >eventually rumor starts that i'm retarded and a future school shooter or some other s--- >spread around the school quickly since we didn't have much other drama >eventually get called into counselor's office one day >she tells me that i need to undergo a mandatory psychological evaluation to "make sure that you and others" are safe >ended up getting diagnosed with the tism at f------ 16 years old >assholes somehow couldn't keep it confidential either, so everyone knew >got treated like an ape until graduation, girls would speak to me in baby voices even though i was intelligent enough to be in advanced classes
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)07:27:41 No.63157818 662 KB PNG When did you realize that life was rigged against you? I'll start: >was quiet in high school, always tried to mind my own business even if it would be considered rude (e.g. wouldn't respond to people even if they called me by name), always kept my head down and made sure to walk a little fast in between classes >eventually rumor starts that i'm retarded and a future school shooter or some other s--- >spread around the school quickly since we didn't have much other drama >eventually get called into counselor's office one day >she tells me that i need to undergo a mandatory psychological evaluation to "make sure that you and others" are safe >ended up getting diagnosed with the tism at f------ 16 years old >assholes somehow couldn't keep it confidential either, so everyone knew >got treated like an ape until graduation, girls would speak to me in baby voices even though i was intelligent enough to be in advanced classes

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Anon mogs, do you? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/22(Sun)13:55:47 No.68213856 pp,504x498-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg 34 KB JPG >at the petrol station >guy across from me neckmogs but I heightmog that wristlet >feels kinda bad, make a mental note to start neckcurling >his gf comes out of the car >9/10 easily outlooksmaxxed him >must have socialmaxxed >upon closer inspection she's actually a 8/10 makeupfraudmaxxstress >feel a little better >on the way to the cashier a terrier barks at me >flinch but realize I speciesmog, get f----- you little s--- >F150 truckmogs me as I leave Are we just on this earth to mog and cope?
: Anonymous 09/04/22(Sun)13:55:47 No.68213856 pp,504x498-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg 34 KB JPG >at the petrol station >guy across from me neckmogs but I heightmog that wristlet >feels kinda bad, make a mental note to start neckcurling >his gf comes out of the car >9/10 easily outlooksmaxxed him >must have socialmaxxed >upon closer inspection she's actually a 8/10 makeupfraudmaxxstress >feel a little better >on the way to the cashier a terrier barks at me >flinch but realize I speciesmog, get f----- you little s--- >F150 truckmogs me as I leave Are we just on this earth to mog and cope?

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Anon trusts his therapist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:16:17 No.611013843 >>611013994 >>611014037 >>611014043 >>611014050 >>611014275 >>611014286 >>611014420 >>611014524 >>611014579 >>611014585 >>611014670 >>611014680 >>611014962 >>611015493 >>611016953 >>611017093 >>611017276 >>611017473 >>611017512 >>611017571 >>611017770 >>611017941 File: 1647440159317.png (2.2 MB, 1086x1245) I told my therapist that I am a p-------- two days ago. Everyone has been telling me I'm f----- and that I'm going to end up on the sex offender registry. My therapist is referring me to a sex offender therapist as well. How f----- am I for real? Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:18:36 No.611013994 ► >>611014034 >>611013843 Did you LITERALLY say the words "I am a p--------" or something along the lines of "I am attracted to 13 year-old girls"? Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)20:19:07 No.611014034 ► >>611014145 >>611013994 I told him I am attracted to young children, yes.
Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:16:17 No.611013843 >>611013994 >>611014037 >>611014043 >>611014050 >>611014275 >>611014286 >>611014420 >>611014524 >>611014579 >>611014585 >>611014670 >>611014680 >>611014962 >>611015493 >>611016953 >>611017093 >>611017276 >>611017473 >>611017512 >>611017571 >>611017770 >>611017941 File: 1647440159317.png (2.2 MB, 1086x1245) I told my therapist that I am a p-------- two days ago. Everyone has been telling me I'm f----- and that I'm going to end up on the sex offender registry. My therapist is referring me to a sex offender therapist as well. How f----- am I for real? Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:18:36 No.611013994 ► >>611014034 >>611013843 Did you LITERALLY say the words "I am a p--------" or something along the lines of "I am attracted to 13 year-old girls"? Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)20:19:07 No.611014034 ► >>611014145 >>611013994 I told him I am attracted to young children, yes.

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Anon summarizes the mac experience | /r/Greentext

22m (9/3 23:18). 88426676 1 Re. 0 Img.PNG 307KB (480 × 454) 1 Reply >be me >reached to customer support because the software and hardware for my audio interface is buggy >customer support agent asks for system report for my mac how safe is this? 20m (9/3 23:19). 88426693 >>88426676 (OP) 101%. because it just works ●●● :
22m (9/3 23:18). 88426676 1 Re. 0 Img.PNG 307KB (480 × 454) 1 Reply >be me >reached to customer support because the software and hardware for my audio interface is buggy >customer support agent asks for system report for my mac how safe is this? 20m (9/3 23:19). 88426693 >>88426676 (OP) 101%. because it just works ●●● :

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Anon meets pentesters | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:51:56 No.87039295 >Be software engineer >Constantly find new, serious vulnerabilities in our system, it's a miracle if we haven't been breached already >Report them, silence >Head of security, a middle-aged fat woman with LOTR teams background, decides to commision a pentest of the systems 58 KB JPG >In the initial meeting, the pentesters ask what they should test >Head of security obviously doesn't know anything about the architecture about the system and just tells them to go crazy and "may the force be with you" >In the final report the pentesters basically just tells us to stop using default credentials in a test environment Is this really what's been hyped up for years? Feels like a racket just to benefit non-technical heads of security and pentesters.
Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:51:56 No.87039295 >Be software engineer >Constantly find new, serious vulnerabilities in our system, it's a miracle if we haven't been breached already >Report them, silence >Head of security, a middle-aged fat woman with LOTR teams background, decides to commision a pentest of the systems 58 KB JPG >In the initial meeting, the pentesters ask what they should test >Head of security obviously doesn't know anything about the architecture about the system and just tells them to go crazy and "may the force be with you" >In the final report the pentesters basically just tells us to stop using default credentials in a test environment Is this really what's been hyped up for years? Feels like a racket just to benefit non-technical heads of security and pentesters.

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Anon is tried of being a comfort pillow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 115 KB JPG 02/11/22 (Fri) 17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing
: Anonymous I hate women 115 KB JPG 02/11/22 (Fri) 17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing

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anon needs to move tf out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat) 18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my own 164 KB PNG >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?
Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat) 18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my own 164 KB PNG >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?

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Anon shows off his secret sauce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 163 KB JPG 09/03/22(Sat)21:18:04 No.70075443 >be me in 6th grade > horny > decide to j------- in PE bathroom > people are actively going in and out > c-- > secret sauce on my hand > go into the locker room and up to my friend > heylookitscum.jpeg > he goes EWWWWW > panic > justkiddingitswater.mp4 > walk away 09/03/22(Sat)21:21:48 No.70075466 : Anonymous >>70075443 (OP) # and all I want is to f--- a hot woman
: Anonymous 163 KB JPG 09/03/22(Sat)21:18:04 No.70075443 >be me in 6th grade > horny > decide to j------- in PE bathroom > people are actively going in and out > c-- > secret sauce on my hand > go into the locker room and up to my friend > heylookitscum.jpeg > he goes EWWWWW > panic > justkiddingitswater.mp4 > walk away 09/03/22(Sat)21:21:48 No.70075466 : Anonymous >>70075443 (OP) # and all I want is to f--- a hot woman

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Anon is minute man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 127 KB JPG >Be me >23 09/03/22(Sat)21:56:32 No.27239372 >Masturbating since the age of 12 > nut 3 times a day for last 11 years without fail >depressed >feelingbad.jpeg >always anxious >no motivation >minute man in bed >mfw I realized I ruined my life and there's no way back
Anonymous 127 KB JPG >Be me >23 09/03/22(Sat)21:56:32 No.27239372 >Masturbating since the age of 12 > nut 3 times a day for last 11 years without fail >depressed >feelingbad.jpeg >always anxious >no motivation >minute man in bed >mfw I realized I ruined my life and there's no way back

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Anon tries his best | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 260 KB PNG 09/04/22 (Sun)02:37:23 No.70077703 >fathers day >mum's already told me what I need to cook for dinner >9am >dad, mum, me in one room >dad brings up how I perfectly cooked the (lamb loin) chops from about 5 days ago >not just a good job but outright saying "eating them the day after, they were still perfect" >mum insists on doing the cooking now >have heard her say at least three times "I don't know why I care, he's not my father" today >she's obviously in a bad mood with me yet is trying to act like she isn't Turns out I can do something right and still cause problems
: Anonymous 260 KB PNG 09/04/22 (Sun)02:37:23 No.70077703 >fathers day >mum's already told me what I need to cook for dinner >9am >dad, mum, me in one room >dad brings up how I perfectly cooked the (lamb loin) chops from about 5 days ago >not just a good job but outright saying "eating them the day after, they were still perfect" >mum insists on doing the cooking now >have heard her say at least three times "I don't know why I care, he's not my father" today >she's obviously in a bad mood with me yet is trying to act like she isn't Turns out I can do something right and still cause problems

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Anon lifts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I just beat my 20yr liberal si(...) 1.02 MB JPG 09/04/22(Sun)00:12:52 No.885023870 >be me average Andrew Tate enjoyer >Curling a makeshift 18kg weight in total (8 Kg kettlebell + two 5kg dumbbells tied to it with string) >Finishing my set >20 sec rest between 2nd and 3rd set >My bitch w---- f----- sister unties my weight and runs off with it to use it as a door stopper >I grab that dumbbell while she tries her hardest to even make me move >I stand still, calm, collected, downloading the data to execute a alpha male decision >She notices that her d--- body isn't strong enough to do anything to steal this weight or make me move >She screeches like a f------ pig >I let go out of pure disgust
: Anonymous I just beat my 20yr liberal si(...) 1.02 MB JPG 09/04/22(Sun)00:12:52 No.885023870 >be me average Andrew Tate enjoyer >Curling a makeshift 18kg weight in total (8 Kg kettlebell + two 5kg dumbbells tied to it with string) >Finishing my set >20 sec rest between 2nd and 3rd set >My bitch w---- f----- sister unties my weight and runs off with it to use it as a door stopper >I grab that dumbbell while she tries her hardest to even make me move >I stand still, calm, collected, downloading the data to execute a alpha male decision >She notices that her d--- body isn't strong enough to do anything to steal this weight or make me move >She screeches like a f------ pig >I let go out of pure disgust

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