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Anon is an alcoholic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 29 KB JPG I'm retarded 07/29/21(Thu)12:34:43 No.859899343 >be me >borderline alcoholic >try not drink anymore >manage 5 days without alcohol >feels good man >wanna reward myself >reward myself with a drink

: Anonymous 29 KB JPG I'm retarded 07/29/21(Thu)12:34:43 No.859899343 >be me >borderline alcoholic >try not drink anymore >manage 5 days without alcohol >feels good man >wanna reward myself >reward myself with a drink

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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1804906840 158.5 kB PNG positive dad stories thread 9 min. ago >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

Anonymous 1804906840 158.5 kB PNG positive dad stories thread 9 min. ago >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

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Anon has a crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 178 KB JPG >Be Me >3rd year at Uni >Have huge crush on shy Big T---- GothGirl from a few of my classes 01/17/20(Fri)04:34:46 No.818649289 >Rumours going around campus that she sent a naughty video to one of the chads >Got sent video of the shy Big T---- Goth Girl last week >Nothing extreme >Just sucking dildo Screenshot included >How do I get it so that the dildo is replaced by my c--- >I've jerked off so many times to this clip >I need her lips to be wrapped around my c--- so bad >How do I make this happen >What should be my plan of attack 22 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

: Anonymous 178 KB JPG >Be Me >3rd year at Uni >Have huge crush on shy Big T---- GothGirl from a few of my classes 01/17/20(Fri)04:34:46 No.818649289 >Rumours going around campus that she sent a naughty video to one of the chads >Got sent video of the shy Big T---- Goth Girl last week >Nothing extreme >Just sucking dildo Screenshot included >How do I get it so that the dildo is replaced by my c--- >I've jerked off so many times to this clip >I need her lips to be wrapped around my c--- so bad >How do I make this happen >What should be my plan of attack 22 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon talks about his adventures | /r/Greentext

Anonymous stupid s--- I did as a kid 01/09/24(Tue)18:15:50 No.912115156 I once stripped a bunch of sparklers (the firework, UK) into a pile on aluminium foil, and lit it on stone steps. I swear to god it was so bright we could not look at it. If I remembered right, it melted stone, but we were dumbass kids so maybe it was just the substance from the sparklers that melted. 1.28 MB JPG I climbed so many trees, I shat outside, I once tasted my own pee. I made bonfires, I got stuck in quicksand-like mud, I hit my head hard. I found clay and made clay statues bigger than me, I dug massive holes in sand, I carried around nettles, I 'borrowed' my dad's Stihl saw and went around cutting s--- up until it ran out of ~~battery~~ petrol. I jumped over a stream of water and fell in, then got caught in the current. I ate random berries, I made nettle soup and ate it, I climbed over a fence and got spiked by a rusty nail. There's so much more I can't remember. What are your stupid childhood adventures?

Anonymous stupid s--- I did as a kid 01/09/24(Tue)18:15:50 No.912115156 I once stripped a bunch of sparklers (the firework, UK) into a pile on aluminium foil, and lit it on stone steps. I swear to god it was so bright we could not look at it. If I remembered right, it melted stone, but we were dumbass kids so maybe it was just the substance from the sparklers that melted. 1.28 MB JPG I climbed so many trees, I shat outside, I once tasted my own pee. I made bonfires, I got stuck in quicksand-like mud, I hit my head hard. I found clay and made clay statues bigger than me, I dug massive holes in sand, I carried around nettles, I 'borrowed' my dad's Stihl saw and went around cutting s--- up until it ran out of ~~battery~~ petrol. I jumped over a stream of water and fell in, then got caught in the current. I ate random berries, I made nettle soup and ate it, I climbed over a fence and got spiked by a rusty nail. There's so much more I can't remember. What are your stupid childhood adventures?

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Anon gets harassed at work. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/22(Mon)15:23:23 No.69288424 >get pulled into the manager's office >"You are very boring anon and you need to work on that. Try to engage more with your co-workers!" 1.69 MB JPG Why can't they leave us alone? Isn't that why they hire us? We are there just to work. I just want to wage in peace without this cooperate bs being thrown at me.

: Anonymous 07/04/22(Mon)15:23:23 No.69288424 >get pulled into the manager's office >"You are very boring anon and you need to work on that. Try to engage more with your co-workers!" 1.69 MB JPG Why can't they leave us alone? Isn't that why they hire us? We are there just to work. I just want to wage in peace without this cooperate bs being thrown at me.

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Rendered useless | /r/Greentext

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At least he trys bros | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 235 KB PNG 05/10/22(Tue)08:13:15 No.68566750 >dad helping me move >we dont talk much >unpack all my gay anime s--- >dad points at my rem and ram figures >"Hey cool sailor moons" >"Thanks" At least he trys bros

: Anonymous 235 KB PNG 05/10/22(Tue)08:13:15 No.68566750 >dad helping me move >we dont talk much >unpack all my gay anime s--- >dad points at my rem and ram figures >"Hey cool sailor moons" >"Thanks" At least he trys bros

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anon loves revenge | /r/Greentext

01/11/23 (Wed)21:34:52 No.71783429 >Be me in uni 10 years ago >Get bullied for 2 years by passive aggressive pretty boy chad >He spread rumors about me, turned people against me, and got my then girlfriend to cheat on me with him >I'm 100 percent sure he f----- my girlfriend just to bully me because he made sure i found out and he was a good looking chad and she was obese. He also dated hot girls so he had no motive to f--- my 240 pound girlfriend. 42 KB JPG >I literally did nothing to him, i don't even know why he targeted me. He was the only person to seriously bully : Anonymous me >2020 >Find out he owns a pizza place because his father gave it to him >spoiled f----- >4.6 star average on google >LETS SEE IF I CAN CHANGE THAT! >Got a bunch of google accounts >Use each one for two or three weeks >Leave a couple random reviews for other places, usually giving them 4-5 stars >Leave him a 1 star review (occasionally 2 just to mix things up) >reset IP address, delete cookies >rinse and repeat >Use different writing styles. Make sure there is no noticeable pattern in my names >Have done this consistently for 2 and a half years >knocked his rating down to a 2.2 on google >Google apparently never caught me because not a single one of my negative reviews was taken down, and I would have noticed despite having made so many I won't stop until I put him out of business or one of us is dead.

01/11/23 (Wed)21:34:52 No.71783429 >Be me in uni 10 years ago >Get bullied for 2 years by passive aggressive pretty boy chad >He spread rumors about me, turned people against me, and got my then girlfriend to cheat on me with him >I'm 100 percent sure he f----- my girlfriend just to bully me because he made sure i found out and he was a good looking chad and she was obese. He also dated hot girls so he had no motive to f--- my 240 pound girlfriend. 42 KB JPG >I literally did nothing to him, i don't even know why he targeted me. He was the only person to seriously bully : Anonymous me >2020 >Find out he owns a pizza place because his father gave it to him >spoiled f----- >4.6 star average on google >LETS SEE IF I CAN CHANGE THAT! >Got a bunch of google accounts >Use each one for two or three weeks >Leave a couple random reviews for other places, usually giving them 4-5 stars >Leave him a 1 star review (occasionally 2 just to mix things up) >reset IP address, delete cookies >rinse and repeat >Use different writing styles. Make sure there is no noticeable pattern in my names >Have done this consistently for 2 and a half years >knocked his rating down to a 2.2 on google >Google apparently never caught me because not a single one of my negative reviews was taken down, and I would have noticed despite having made so many I won't stop until I put him out of business or one of us is dead.

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Misplaced Otaku | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vLaHcsaP) 4chan was founded as an antime forum and uninvited guests will forever be newfags. 97 KB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)06:26:44 No.19359828 Anime website. >original userbase mostly consisted out of ADTRW refugees >/b/'s original title was Anime/Random >mascot is a manga character >second mascot is an idolmaster character >anime themed banners for non-anime boards, as well as general anime and touhou themed banners >"t bh", "s m h" and "f a m" are filtered to "desu", "baka" and "senpai" >mods SHAME you with public bans if you deny that it's anime website

Anonymous (ID: vLaHcsaP) 4chan was founded as an antime forum and uninvited guests will forever be newfags. 97 KB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)06:26:44 No.19359828 Anime website. >original userbase mostly consisted out of ADTRW refugees >/b/'s original title was Anime/Random >mascot is a manga character >second mascot is an idolmaster character >anime themed banners for non-anime boards, as well as general anime and touhou themed banners >"t bh", "s m h" and "f a m" are filtered to "desu", "baka" and "senpai" >mods SHAME you with public bans if you deny that it's anime website

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Divine Opposition | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Did god have my back here? 533 KB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)07:55:09 No.912105667 >be me 18M >f------- gypsy bullies me >one day he f---- with me during an exam and f---- my first semester grade up (doesnt really matter overall but still f--- him) >pray to god in latin to punish him severely >next day on my birthday his heart literally stops >They revived him but hes still in a coma Is this a coincidence?

Anonymous Did god have my back here? 533 KB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)07:55:09 No.912105667 >be me 18M >f------- gypsy bullies me >one day he f---- with me during an exam and f---- my first semester grade up (doesnt really matter overall but still f--- him) >pray to god in latin to punish him severely >next day on my birthday his heart literally stops >They revived him but hes still in a coma Is this a coincidence?

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The Silent Yearning | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ABH WESTE THE FO wanita mo HOWT ALARA 140 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)10:22:42 No.76054570 >go to friend's baby's first birthday party >his wife hugs everyone (including me) when we leave and says thanks for coming >literally the most intimate touch i've had by a female in the same age bracket I love her now, bros

Anonymous ABH WESTE THE FO wanita mo HOWT ALARA 140 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)10:22:42 No.76054570 >go to friend's baby's first birthday party >his wife hugs everyone (including me) when we leave and says thanks for coming >literally the most intimate touch i've had by a female in the same age bracket I love her now, bros

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Anon describes the emotional rollercoaster of life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 135 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)11:12:09 No.912112144 >born >happy 10 years >confused and sad next 10 years >depressed next 30 years >indifferent next 30 years >die

Anonymous 135 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)11:12:09 No.912112144 >born >happy 10 years >confused and sad next 10 years >depressed next 30 years >indifferent next 30 years >die

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A Shift in Heart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 330 KB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)09:10:48 No.76054132 >Girl text me >We went on few dates >kissing >groping >she opens up to me >I open up to her > a lot of sexual tension >Wake up one day and I'm no longer attracted to her >We haven't talked on few days >I'm 100% fine with this and relived Does this happens in your c---?

Anonymous 330 KB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)09:10:48 No.76054132 >Girl text me >We went on few dates >kissing >groping >she opens up to me >I open up to her > a lot of sexual tension >Wake up one day and I'm no longer attracted to her >We haven't talked on few days >I'm 100% fine with this and relived Does this happens in your c---?

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Anon Doesn't Understand Duke Leto Atreides | /r/Greentext

File: dunepart1_dukeletoatreides_3.jpg (101 KB, 684x821) Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)08:30:37 No.194536541 ► >>194537989 >>194538829 >>194539032 >>194540058 >>194540088 >>194540465 >>194540577 >>194541096 >>194542874 >>194542891 >>194545456 >>194545802 >>194546166 >>194550163 >>194553766 >>194554182 >>194556543 >>194557733 >>194562972 >>194563544 >>194563662 >>194563862 >>194565834 >>194567446 >>194568228 >Know full well your wife is a witch with training from conspirators for the Emperor >Watch your only heir go through hellish fever dreams and anguish >Whole heartedly embroil yourself in ultimate face off with mortal enemy combatants in harshest landscape known only to watch your kingdom implode Was the Duke a noble leader or a naive retard? ☐ Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)08:33:55 No.194536706 ► >>194556461 >>194567265 he really turned out to be such an awful actor its unreal ☐ Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)08:32:13 No.194536615 ► >>194537348 >>194537848 >>194543975 >>194557079 >>194563054 File: 1704341170729576.gif (3.94 MB, 640x392) ☐ Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon )08:45:22 No.194537348 ► >>194549573 >>194565086 >>194536615 >Somehow, the Harkonnen betrayed us OPTIONS Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)08:54:04 No.194537848 ► >>194537897 >>194538058 >>194536615 *sigh* somehow Duncan Idaho returned >>194545327 >construction started.. >building ready to place >training... >unit ready James Per >wormsign >spice harvester under attack >unit lost Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)11:57:51 No.194546882 ► >>194547160 >>194547691 >>194550675 File: 1700615702548561.jpg (366 KB, 1295x979) 8007 >> Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)12:57:23 No. 194550313 ► >>194555588 >>194558928 File: Frank-Herbert-September-2(...).jpg (243 KB, 1024x1283) STARPORT 13 >Brian, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Lady Jessica? You know, the matriarch of House Atreides - descended from the manipulative Bene Gesserit! - whom I used to serialize of in Analog Science Fact & Fiction? Well what I didn't mention back then was Jessica was also totally into i-----: all stern and motherly and horny like Jocasta in Oedipus Rex or what will later come to be known as the MILF subculture. In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Xev Bellringer who will be born 2 years after I die. Brian, I will be entrusting you with my estate. If there is ever a movie adaptation of my work you must make sure they get this Jessica right - make sure she is what the Fremen would have called a eahirat muthirat haqiqia, a real sexy bitch.

File: dunepart1_dukeletoatreides_3.jpg (101 KB, 684x821) Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)08:30:37 No.194536541 ► >>194537989 >>194538829 >>194539032 >>194540058 >>194540088 >>194540465 >>194540577 >>194541096 >>194542874 >>194542891 >>194545456 >>194545802 >>194546166 >>194550163 >>194553766 >>194554182 >>194556543 >>194557733 >>194562972 >>194563544 >>194563662 >>194563862 >>194565834 >>194567446 >>194568228 >Know full well your wife is a witch with training from conspirators for the Emperor >Watch your only heir go through hellish fever dreams and anguish >Whole heartedly embroil yourself in ultimate face off with mortal enemy combatants in harshest landscape known only to watch your kingdom implode Was the Duke a noble leader or a naive retard? ☐ Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)08:33:55 No.194536706 ► >>194556461 >>194567265 he really turned out to be such an awful actor its unreal ☐ Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)08:32:13 No.194536615 ► >>194537348 >>194537848 >>194543975 >>194557079 >>194563054 File: 1704341170729576.gif (3.94 MB, 640x392) ☐ Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon )08:45:22 No.194537348 ► >>194549573 >>194565086 >>194536615 >Somehow, the Harkonnen betrayed us OPTIONS Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)08:54:04 No.194537848 ► >>194537897 >>194538058 >>194536615 *sigh* somehow Duncan Idaho returned >>194545327 >construction started.. >building ready to place >training... >unit ready James Per >wormsign >spice harvester under attack >unit lost Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)11:57:51 No.194546882 ► >>194547160 >>194547691 >>194550675 File: 1700615702548561.jpg (366 KB, 1295x979) 8007 >> Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)12:57:23 No. 194550313 ► >>194555588 >>194558928 File: Frank-Herbert-September-2(...).jpg (243 KB, 1024x1283) STARPORT 13 >Brian, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Lady Jessica? You know, the matriarch of House Atreides - descended from the manipulative Bene Gesserit! - whom I used to serialize of in Analog Science Fact & Fiction? Well what I didn't mention back then was Jessica was also totally into i-----: all stern and motherly and horny like Jocasta in Oedipus Rex or what will later come to be known as the MILF subculture. In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Xev Bellringer who will be born 2 years after I die. Brian, I will be entrusting you with my estate. If there is ever a movie adaptation of my work you must make sure they get this Jessica right - make sure she is what the Fremen would have called a eahirat muthirat haqiqia, a real sexy bitch.

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Hilarious mental image | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 404 KB PNG >Mildly schizo unironically >Living in house with 5 roommates >In the middle of the night I have this half dream where I'm performing a major show and I'm about to scream "WHAT THE F---- UP MILWAUKEE" >for some reason my half ass brain actually wakes up and I scream this out with a perfect metal scream >F------ everyone ends up in my room and I start bawling telling them it's my f----- up brain 01/09/24(Tue)21:45:29 No.912109101 >be me >Former metal band vocalist now in my late 30s >Turns out one of my roommates was twitch streaming and clipped it : Anonymous >Same thing borderline happens again within the same week What do I do about this? 977 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)21:46:14 No.912109121 >wakes up >WHAT THE F---- UP MILWAUKEE >goes back to sleep

: Anonymous 404 KB PNG >Mildly schizo unironically >Living in house with 5 roommates >In the middle of the night I have this half dream where I'm performing a major show and I'm about to scream "WHAT THE F---- UP MILWAUKEE" >for some reason my half ass brain actually wakes up and I scream this out with a perfect metal scream >F------ everyone ends up in my room and I start bawling telling them it's my f----- up brain 01/09/24(Tue)21:45:29 No.912109101 >be me >Former metal band vocalist now in my late 30s >Turns out one of my roommates was twitch streaming and clipped it : Anonymous >Same thing borderline happens again within the same week What do I do about this? 977 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)21:46:14 No.912109121 >wakes up >WHAT THE F---- UP MILWAUKEE >goes back to sleep

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Anon does a magic trick | /r/Greentext

Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >I got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >"just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies: >>187606189 >>187606194 >>187606297 >>187606380 >>187606458 >>187606547 >>187606763 >>187607212 >>187609156 >>187609419 >>187609460

Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >I got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >"just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies: >>187606189 >>187606194 >>187606297 >>187606380 >>187606458 >>187606547 >>187606763 >>187607212 >>187609156 >>187609419 >>187609460

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