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80% of you are Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 25 KB JPG 6 Replies 1 Image 05/15/21 (Sat)20:57:57 No.63684304 >chief, this guy has no social media >no job record >no pictures >no girlfriend >he's a ghost View Thread >>63684489 # Anonymous >>63684304 (OP) # >chief, we tried to pull a tail on him, but we cant even tell if hes got a car >he hasnt even got a drivers license on record >and when we looked for an address, the best we got was his mothers house >we did twenty days of surveillance and never saw him come in or out 05/15/21(Sat)21:05:57 No.63684381 >we ended up pulling up old tax records, and we cant even find a single job on record >all we found is that, in 2019, he made $26 dollars trading on robinhood >no known associates, address, jobs, nothing >this guy's a pro
: Anonymous 25 KB JPG 6 Replies 1 Image 05/15/21 (Sat)20:57:57 No.63684304 >chief, this guy has no social media >no job record >no pictures >no girlfriend >he's a ghost View Thread >>63684489 # Anonymous >>63684304 (OP) # >chief, we tried to pull a tail on him, but we cant even tell if hes got a car >he hasnt even got a drivers license on record >and when we looked for an address, the best we got was his mothers house >we did twenty days of surveillance and never saw him come in or out 05/15/21(Sat)21:05:57 No.63684381 >we ended up pulling up old tax records, and we cant even find a single job on record >all we found is that, in 2019, he made $26 dollars trading on robinhood >no known associates, address, jobs, nothing >this guy's a pro

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Chest dimorphism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 40.8k 12/22/21(Wed)06:32:32 No.66667428 r/TrueOffMyChest Posted by u/throw8784 14 hours ago 522 717 54 7443€ I hired a male sex worker for 2 hours just to hug me and hold me and I gave him flash cards of what to say to me. I'm a 22 year old female. I'm introverted, I had one boyfriend who cheated on me 8 months ago and since then found it incredibly difficult to socialize. Not that many people made an effort. I'm simple, I dont have social media, I have a few friends but they don't really speak to me much. I'm average looking. Pretty insecure since my breakup. Im in college and on weekends work a 12 hour shift at a fast food restaurant to make ends meet. I dont know I felt really lonely, so I knew of a guy who works with me who told me his friend is doing sex work. I found him on Facebook and he told me how much he charged. Also asked me a bunch of questions about my sexual health. I never planned on sleeping with him I just didn't want him to find me weird. Anyway we met at a hotel, I told him I didn't want to have sex I just wanted to be held and given words of affirmation and care. He agreed and I paid him. I gave him flashcards. They all said things like im proud of you, you're doing so well, you're strong, did you eat, are you okay, I know you can do it, etc etc. And he just held me until our hours was up and then I bolted and I feel so ashamed and had to tell someone. But I don't speak to anyone so here I am. Edit: thank you all for the kindest words and making me feel better and less ashamed. Yes thats me immediately upvoting. I'm not good with words, so please know I appreciate it more than you know. Thank you so so much. 2.6k Comments Share Save Hide Report allwomenshoulddie.png 101 KB PNG 87% Upvoted >male talking about never having any affection in his entire life >0 replies, at best aggressive comments, purely his own fault >female talking about momentary lack of affection >41 THOUSAND reactions, over 2 THOUSAND comments "you're amazing" "nothing wrong" "you're valid" "your feelings are important" And people wonder why mass shooters do it. F------ idiots.
: Anonymous 40.8k 12/22/21(Wed)06:32:32 No.66667428 r/TrueOffMyChest Posted by u/throw8784 14 hours ago 522 717 54 7443€ I hired a male sex worker for 2 hours just to hug me and hold me and I gave him flash cards of what to say to me. I'm a 22 year old female. I'm introverted, I had one boyfriend who cheated on me 8 months ago and since then found it incredibly difficult to socialize. Not that many people made an effort. I'm simple, I dont have social media, I have a few friends but they don't really speak to me much. I'm average looking. Pretty insecure since my breakup. Im in college and on weekends work a 12 hour shift at a fast food restaurant to make ends meet. I dont know I felt really lonely, so I knew of a guy who works with me who told me his friend is doing sex work. I found him on Facebook and he told me how much he charged. Also asked me a bunch of questions about my sexual health. I never planned on sleeping with him I just didn't want him to find me weird. Anyway we met at a hotel, I told him I didn't want to have sex I just wanted to be held and given words of affirmation and care. He agreed and I paid him. I gave him flashcards. They all said things like im proud of you, you're doing so well, you're strong, did you eat, are you okay, I know you can do it, etc etc. And he just held me until our hours was up and then I bolted and I feel so ashamed and had to tell someone. But I don't speak to anyone so here I am. Edit: thank you all for the kindest words and making me feel better and less ashamed. Yes thats me immediately upvoting. I'm not good with words, so please know I appreciate it more than you know. Thank you so so much. 2.6k Comments Share Save Hide Report allwomenshoulddie.png 101 KB PNG 87% Upvoted >male talking about never having any affection in his entire life >0 replies, at best aggressive comments, purely his own fault >female talking about momentary lack of affection >41 THOUSAND reactions, over 2 THOUSAND comments "you're amazing" "nothing wrong" "you're valid" "your feelings are important" And people wonder why mass shooters do it. F------ idiots.

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Family practice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)06:49:30 No.70840125 >finally caved in and got a practice gf >years go by and we have a practice wedding >now she's pregnant with my 2nd practice kid I'm in way too deep now bros...
: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)06:49:30 No.70840125 >finally caved in and got a practice gf >years go by and we have a practice wedding >now she's pregnant with my 2nd practice kid I'm in way too deep now bros...

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Anon sleepwalks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)21:26:23 No.888416026 /b/ros Please help me what the f--- do I do >be me >sleepwalker since birth >staying at new friends house overnight >go to sleep >dream I am pissing in toilet >wake up >p----- f------ all over the inside of their fridge >hundreds of dollars of food ruined >broke college student, cant pay for all of that and still eat this week Holy f------ s--- what do I do hes not awake yet I need help FAST
: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)21:26:23 No.888416026 /b/ros Please help me what the f--- do I do >be me >sleepwalker since birth >staying at new friends house overnight >go to sleep >dream I am pissing in toilet >wake up >p----- f------ all over the inside of their fridge >hundreds of dollars of food ruined >broke college student, cant pay for all of that and still eat this week Holy f------ s--- what do I do hes not awake yet I need help FAST

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Anon is selling goats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Kiko goats 108 KB PNG 05/19/22(Thu)04:23:09 No.4175436 >sell a 5 month old goat for $300 >it costs $20/month to raise = $100 >profit = $300-$100 = $200. >only need to sell 500 kiko goats per year to make 6 figures WAGMI with kiko goats. : Anonymous >>4175436 (OP) # who tf is buying 05/19/22(Thu)04:39:00 No.4175451 >>4175464 # >>4175557 # >>4175635 #
: Anonymous Kiko goats 108 KB PNG 05/19/22(Thu)04:23:09 No.4175436 >sell a 5 month old goat for $300 >it costs $20/month to raise = $100 >profit = $300-$100 = $200. >only need to sell 500 kiko goats per year to make 6 figures WAGMI with kiko goats. : Anonymous >>4175436 (OP) # who tf is buying 05/19/22(Thu)04:39:00 No.4175451 >>4175464 # >>4175557 # >>4175635 #

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anon makes a tinder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 100 KB PNG 11/02/22 (Wed)13:44:57 No.888382323 >make Tinder >live in b------ low-population area in red state (hence making a Tinder) >be not unattractive so expect to match with at least a few girls Instead, every girl on Tinder >looks at least 10 years older than she actually is >80+% are medically obese >has trashy gross upper thigh tattoos (is this a new trend?) >excessive tattoos in general >has those disgusting bull noserings (is this also some retarded new tik tok trend?) >vaccinated good goy seal of approval >bio says "I'm not here for sex, if you're a f------ swipe right" yet has multiple pictures in bikinis and lingerie showing off her (unattractive) body >single mothers with disgusting brown abominations >women who are clearly well into their 30s and 40s saying they are 21 and 22 I don't get a chance to go out a lot because there's nowhere to meet people in my area, but please tell me it's not like this in the entire country, and please tell me that Tinder only has low quality females and it's not truly THAT bad out there. Please reassure me because holy f---.
: Anonymous 100 KB PNG 11/02/22 (Wed)13:44:57 No.888382323 >make Tinder >live in b------ low-population area in red state (hence making a Tinder) >be not unattractive so expect to match with at least a few girls Instead, every girl on Tinder >looks at least 10 years older than she actually is >80+% are medically obese >has trashy gross upper thigh tattoos (is this a new trend?) >excessive tattoos in general >has those disgusting bull noserings (is this also some retarded new tik tok trend?) >vaccinated good goy seal of approval >bio says "I'm not here for sex, if you're a f------ swipe right" yet has multiple pictures in bikinis and lingerie showing off her (unattractive) body >single mothers with disgusting brown abominations >women who are clearly well into their 30s and 40s saying they are 21 and 22 I don't get a chance to go out a lot because there's nowhere to meet people in my area, but please tell me it's not like this in the entire country, and please tell me that Tinder only has low quality females and it's not truly THAT bad out there. Please reassure me because holy f---.

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Anon likes moles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like I'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention
: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like I'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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Anon Understands Women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 11/24/21(Wed)12:09:57 No.66284400 I have been thinking a lot about this and there really is no reason I should not have a girlfriend, and I genuinely think I am entitled to one >You're probably ugly and have bad hygiene!!! False. I shower on the daily and am quite attractive >You probably don't have a job or a stable income!!! Again false. I make $80,000 yearly, while many here make more this is more than enough to live comfortably and support a family. >You don't know how to talk to women!!! Once again false. I have studied women for quite some time and am quite familiar with their thought patterns and mannerisms >Women don't owe you anything!!! Yep you guessed it, False. As a well functioning, contributing member of society it is of the nation's best interest I obtain a wife and breed by high IQ genes for the next generation. I understand women are largely impulsive and still rely on their evolutionary desires in picking a mate (remember I have studied them for quite a while now. These urges however lead them to low IQ thugs who are incapable of even sticking around for the child and thus leads to a single mother epidemic we have now, proving that women cannot be trusted in picking a suitable mate for themselves. We've let women have their freedom for years now and we are seeing the effects of it in a decaying society, the government must step in and regulate marriages and I am a prime example of someone who deserves a wife. Curious to know what you guys think?
: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 11/24/21(Wed)12:09:57 No.66284400 I have been thinking a lot about this and there really is no reason I should not have a girlfriend, and I genuinely think I am entitled to one >You're probably ugly and have bad hygiene!!! False. I shower on the daily and am quite attractive >You probably don't have a job or a stable income!!! Again false. I make $80,000 yearly, while many here make more this is more than enough to live comfortably and support a family. >You don't know how to talk to women!!! Once again false. I have studied women for quite some time and am quite familiar with their thought patterns and mannerisms >Women don't owe you anything!!! Yep you guessed it, False. As a well functioning, contributing member of society it is of the nation's best interest I obtain a wife and breed by high IQ genes for the next generation. I understand women are largely impulsive and still rely on their evolutionary desires in picking a mate (remember I have studied them for quite a while now. These urges however lead them to low IQ thugs who are incapable of even sticking around for the child and thus leads to a single mother epidemic we have now, proving that women cannot be trusted in picking a suitable mate for themselves. We've let women have their freedom for years now and we are seeing the effects of it in a decaying society, the government must step in and regulate marriages and I am a prime example of someone who deserves a wife. Curious to know what you guys think?

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Full Zoomer Jacket | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)10:06:17 No.169343560 fr.png 1.33 MB PNG >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! H >Deadass? Im shook! Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish all of you, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET.
Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)10:06:17 No.169343560 fr.png 1.33 MB PNG >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! H >Deadass? Im shook! Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish all of you, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET.

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Anon has financial solutions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 507 KB JPG 06/03/22 (Fri)15:06:21 No.68895124 >$100 an hour to go to a therapist >$0 to just tell yourself "it is what it is"
: Anonymous 507 KB JPG 06/03/22 (Fri)15:06:21 No.68895124 >$100 an hour to go to a therapist >$0 to just tell yourself "it is what it is"

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Anon’s girlfriend is a cuck. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)08:59:00 No.885171683 >be me, in a 4 year relationship with my girlfriend, everything is going great >one day she approaches me and says she wants to open up the relationship 100 KB JPG >my heart drops, my breath catches in my throat and the world darkens as I imagine our inevitable future breakup >"not for me but just for you, I want to see you with other girls" >turns out she gets turned on seeing me have sex with other women, and even wants to join in eventually >so yeah, life is great
: Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)08:59:00 No.885171683 >be me, in a 4 year relationship with my girlfriend, everything is going great >one day she approaches me and says she wants to open up the relationship 100 KB JPG >my heart drops, my breath catches in my throat and the world darkens as I imagine our inevitable future breakup >"not for me but just for you, I want to see you with other girls" >turns out she gets turned on seeing me have sex with other women, and even wants to join in eventually >so yeah, life is great

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Anon prepares to game | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad-thinkpad-5d9ec41(...).jpg (24 KB, 758x644) >Multicore Rendering: Disabled >Effects: Low >View Distance: Low >Shadows: Off >Motion Blur: Off >Friendly Fire: Off >Difficulty: Easy >Tutorials: On >Cheats: Enabled >CPU Handicap: 50% Yep. It's gaming time. Anonymous 08/02/22(Tue)22: >Resolution: 800x600 >Aspect Ratio: 16:9 >V-Sync: Off >Refresh rate: 60Hz >Field of View: 75 >Subtitles: On >Antialiasing: Off >Texture Filtering: Bilinear >Texture detail: Low >Model detail: Low >Water detail: Simple Reflections >Shader detail: Low >Color Correction: Disabled
File: gigachad-thinkpad-5d9ec41(...).jpg (24 KB, 758x644) >Multicore Rendering: Disabled >Effects: Low >View Distance: Low >Shadows: Off >Motion Blur: Off >Friendly Fire: Off >Difficulty: Easy >Tutorials: On >Cheats: Enabled >CPU Handicap: 50% Yep. It's gaming time. Anonymous 08/02/22(Tue)22: >Resolution: 800x600 >Aspect Ratio: 16:9 >V-Sync: Off >Refresh rate: 60Hz >Field of View: 75 >Subtitles: On >Antialiasing: Off >Texture Filtering: Bilinear >Texture detail: Low >Model detail: Low >Water detail: Simple Reflections >Shader detail: Low >Color Correction: Disabled

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Anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)09:56:31 No.609521397 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*
Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)09:56:31 No.609521397 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*

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Anon graduates from training | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB PNG 02/19/21(Fri)18:30:30 No.62409173 >be me >think i'm an incel >realize i've never actually tried to seduce a girl >which makes me single by choice, not involuntary celibate >get Tinder, start watching pua s--- >take care of myself, start having hobbies >ask some girls out >get rejected >now I'm officially an incel how do you do, fellow social retards
: Anonymous 22 KB PNG 02/19/21(Fri)18:30:30 No.62409173 >be me >think i'm an incel >realize i've never actually tried to seduce a girl >which makes me single by choice, not involuntary celibate >get Tinder, start watching pua s--- >take care of myself, start having hobbies >ask some girls out >get rejected >now I'm officially an incel how do you do, fellow social retards

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Anon Is Also Schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I commit nefarious acts 362 KB PNG 11/07/21(Sun)11:29:37 No.66059693 >coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around but secretly leaving lines on doors and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic View Thread
: Anonymous I commit nefarious acts 362 KB PNG 11/07/21(Sun)11:29:37 No.66059693 >coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around but secretly leaving lines on doors and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic View Thread

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proof height privilege exists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)14:49:01 No.70831290 >be me, several months ago >at college >overhear women talking about the Buffalo shooting >"Why are all these shooters always ugly, short guys?" >"Well, this last guy was actually like 6'2" >"Ohhh. Well that's alright, then" >TFW I didn't actually believe anything people said about women on this board until that moment >MFW
: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)14:49:01 No.70831290 >be me, several months ago >at college >overhear women talking about the Buffalo shooting >"Why are all these shooters always ugly, short guys?" >"Well, this last guy was actually like 6'2" >"Ohhh. Well that's alright, then" >TFW I didn't actually believe anything people said about women on this board until that moment >MFW

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