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Anon has a heated argument online | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)05:34:18 No.68631152 >arguing with some f-- on reddit about how pitbulls are s----- dogs not too fond of gay >claims chihuahuas kill twice as many people people >sends the number of people who died in chihuahua, mexico 212 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)05:34:18 No.68631152 >arguing with some f-- on reddit about how pitbulls are s----- dogs not too fond of gay >claims chihuahuas kill twice as many people people >sends the number of people who died in chihuahua, mexico 212 KB JPG

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anon has a small dick | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/05/22(Mon)15:56:48 No.885135292 Mentat2.jpg 90 KB JPG >Girlfriend texts me out of the blue that she doesn't want to date anymore >Absolutely shocked, I call her right there and tell her this is a bad joke >"It's not a joke, I don't think we're right for each other" >I'm super confused, I thought everything was going well > She says "Your d--- is just too small" >Even more confused, I remind her that she's told me multiple times I'm the biggest she's been with >"Yes, when you're hard," she replies, "but you're just so small when you're soft. I'm sorry, this isn't going to work, goodbye." >mfw
Anonymous 09/05/22(Mon)15:56:48 No.885135292 Mentat2.jpg 90 KB JPG >Girlfriend texts me out of the blue that she doesn't want to date anymore >Absolutely shocked, I call her right there and tell her this is a bad joke >"It's not a joke, I don't think we're right for each other" >I'm super confused, I thought everything was going well > She says "Your d--- is just too small" >Even more confused, I remind her that she's told me multiple times I'm the biggest she's been with >"Yes, when you're hard," she replies, "but you're just so small when you're soft. I'm sorry, this isn't going to work, goodbye." >mfw

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Studying the blade | /r/Greentext

#HoltonWiseTV #RealEstateInvestingMade Easy Tenant Beheads Landlord with Samurai Sword | : Anonymous (ID: Mv0fsG7Z) 04/25/21 (Sun)08:34:49 No.318597036 we wuz.jpg 28 KB JPG >While you were paying attention in school I studied the blade >When you paid taxes I practised the blade >While you wasted years of your life working 9-5 to support your family I used the blade >Now that rent is due you're all unprepared. >Except for me >For I studied the blade >>318597329 #
#HoltonWiseTV #RealEstateInvestingMade Easy Tenant Beheads Landlord with Samurai Sword | : Anonymous (ID: Mv0fsG7Z) 04/25/21 (Sun)08:34:49 No.318597036 we wuz.jpg 28 KB JPG >While you were paying attention in school I studied the blade >When you paid taxes I practised the blade >While you wasted years of your life working 9-5 to support your family I used the blade >Now that rent is due you're all unprepared. >Except for me >For I studied the blade >>318597329 #

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Anon drives home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 170 KB JPG 10/13/22(Thu)21:25:09 No.70574772 >driving home >see woman walking dog on edge of the road >move over to give her space >she waves >*brain.exe has stopped working* >flips her off
: Anonymous 170 KB JPG 10/13/22(Thu)21:25:09 No.70574772 >driving home >see woman walking dog on edge of the road >move over to give her space >she waves >*brain.exe has stopped working* >flips her off

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anon tells a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 195 KB JPG 10/04/22(Tue)22:13:20 No.171810918 >3 vampires walk into a bar >one is from Germany, one is from Russia and the other is from England >The German vampire orders a beer with a shot of blood >The Russian vampire orders a vodka with a shot of blood as well >The English vampires orders a cup of hot water >The two others ask him: "why don't you drink any blood?" >The English vampire pulls out a used tampon and says: "It's tea time!"
: Anonymous 195 KB JPG 10/04/22(Tue)22:13:20 No.171810918 >3 vampires walk into a bar >one is from Germany, one is from Russia and the other is from England >The German vampire orders a beer with a shot of blood >The Russian vampire orders a vodka with a shot of blood as well >The English vampires orders a cup of hot water >The two others ask him: "why don't you drink any blood?" >The English vampire pulls out a used tampon and says: "It's tea time!"

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Pretty worth it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps 14 KB JPG 01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb
: Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps 14 KB JPG 01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb

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Anon doesn't know how elevator works | /r/Greentext

>get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this
>get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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Why are boomers like this? Fr fr ong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous alamu 71 KB JPG 10/13/22(Thu)22:54:56 No.70573534 >be zoomer >see an old video game posted >hey that game looks cool how is it called? >HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS GAME OH MY GOD!! I'M LITERALLY SHAKING RN!! F------ ZOOMERS MAN!! FR FR ONG BROCCOLI HEADS LEAVE ME ALONE!! why are they like this?
: Anonymous alamu 71 KB JPG 10/13/22(Thu)22:54:56 No.70573534 >be zoomer >see an old video game posted >hey that game looks cool how is it called? >HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS GAME OH MY GOD!! I'M LITERALLY SHAKING RN!! F------ ZOOMERS MAN!! FR FR ONG BROCCOLI HEADS LEAVE ME ALONE!! why are they like this?

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Anon the prankster | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank >mfw that was the prank
23 KB JPG >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank >mfw that was the prank

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anon eats burger king | /r/Greentext

FLAME 53 KB JPG >be me in October 2015 >Unsuspecting high schooler >go to Burger King for lunch because it's tasty >see they have a new Black bun A1 Whopper for Halloween >order one to try it because ehh why not >it's immaculate in flavor and design > order a second one to go >later that evening have to use the bathroom >s--- and wipe >get up to flush and catch a glimpse of my turd, it's bright neon green >think nothing of it > next day happens and I bring my friends to BK with me, we all get an A1 Whopper >later that night in the group chat all my friends were freaking out about neon green s---- >turns out it was because of the food dye in the buns BK please bring that burger back
FLAME 53 KB JPG >be me in October 2015 >Unsuspecting high schooler >go to Burger King for lunch because it's tasty >see they have a new Black bun A1 Whopper for Halloween >order one to try it because ehh why not >it's immaculate in flavor and design > order a second one to go >later that evening have to use the bathroom >s--- and wipe >get up to flush and catch a glimpse of my turd, it's bright neon green >think nothing of it > next day happens and I bring my friends to BK with me, we all get an A1 Whopper >later that night in the group chat all my friends were freaking out about neon green s---- >turns out it was because of the food dye in the buns BK please bring that burger back

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Full Metal Zoomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/22(Wed)14:31:12 No.175445449 >>175444867 # >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! >Deadass? Im shook! 1.33 MB PNG Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish y'all, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET. >>175445507 # >>175446038 # >>175446533 # >>175450243 # >>175450296 # >>175450385 # >>175450405 # >>175452745 #
: Anonymous 10/12/22(Wed)14:31:12 No.175445449 >>175444867 # >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! >Deadass? Im shook! 1.33 MB PNG Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish y'all, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET. >>175445507 # >>175446038 # >>175446533 # >>175450243 # >>175450296 # >>175450385 # >>175450405 # >>175452745 #

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 410 KB PNG 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >tfw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/
: Anonymous 410 KB PNG 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >tfw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/

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anon is really into aviation | /r/Greentext

0025 US AIR FORE infernal lust >Be me >Get addicted to anthropomorphic airplane p--- >Join Air Force for unrelated reasons. >Now having to work around aircraft that now make me uncontrollably aroused. >Struggle with it my first few years in. >Now I've partially managed it >Now manifests differently. >Now get uncontrollably angry when my planes break due to poor maintenance. >Other maintainers f--- up one of my jets components. >It's like having someone beat my wife >They're beating all of my wives >UnfathomableRage.jpeg >Manifests in me chewing out other airmen and NCOS about their poor quality workmanship >The f------ t---- are touching my plane inappropriately >Leadership just takes it as me being passionate about attention to detail and excellence in all I do. >Promoted, more responsibilities and have to do more f------ work on the flightline. >Oh god no. >Myfuckingdick.jpeg >One of the new refuellers comes through the base, needs repairs. >"Anon go unfuck the jet" >Get down to the apron. >It's beautiful. Shiny new paint, glistening leading edges, my god it even has electronic countermeasures. Even seeing the blueprints in the T.O. is like f------ playboy magazine for me. >Diamonds.jpeg >Literally tucking my boner into my waistband as I work on it. >Crewchief asks me why I keep running my hand across the airframe >"Just checking for uhh.... delamination" >Finish up, Jet flies away. >Feelsbadman.jpeg >Go stare at the transient fighters to make myself feel better. >Go home and jerk it to fat tittied planes to relieve the unprecedented amount of sexual tension of the day. >Literally unable to achieve arousal to 3D women >Thefleshisinferior.mp4 >I have to repeat this process everyday until the end of my contract in several years. >Behavioral health will probably use me as a case study or take away my security clearance if I tell them. >I f------ love planes. Anons I really am serious this time I'm actually losing my f------ mind. I swear to God I'm gonna have a mental break, holy f---. 32m (10/13 3:52) 887232678 1 Reply >>887232116 (OP) >Get addicted to anthropomorphic airplane p--- W-- Post some of that s---
0025 US AIR FORE infernal lust >Be me >Get addicted to anthropomorphic airplane p--- >Join Air Force for unrelated reasons. >Now having to work around aircraft that now make me uncontrollably aroused. >Struggle with it my first few years in. >Now I've partially managed it >Now manifests differently. >Now get uncontrollably angry when my planes break due to poor maintenance. >Other maintainers f--- up one of my jets components. >It's like having someone beat my wife >They're beating all of my wives >UnfathomableRage.jpeg >Manifests in me chewing out other airmen and NCOS about their poor quality workmanship >The f------ t---- are touching my plane inappropriately >Leadership just takes it as me being passionate about attention to detail and excellence in all I do. >Promoted, more responsibilities and have to do more f------ work on the flightline. >Oh god no. >Myfuckingdick.jpeg >One of the new refuellers comes through the base, needs repairs. >"Anon go unfuck the jet" >Get down to the apron. >It's beautiful. Shiny new paint, glistening leading edges, my god it even has electronic countermeasures. Even seeing the blueprints in the T.O. is like f------ playboy magazine for me. >Diamonds.jpeg >Literally tucking my boner into my waistband as I work on it. >Crewchief asks me why I keep running my hand across the airframe >"Just checking for uhh.... delamination" >Finish up, Jet flies away. >Feelsbadman.jpeg >Go stare at the transient fighters to make myself feel better. >Go home and jerk it to fat tittied planes to relieve the unprecedented amount of sexual tension of the day. >Literally unable to achieve arousal to 3D women >Thefleshisinferior.mp4 >I have to repeat this process everyday until the end of my contract in several years. >Behavioral health will probably use me as a case study or take away my security clearance if I tell them. >I f------ love planes. Anons I really am serious this time I'm actually losing my f------ mind. I swear to God I'm gonna have a mental break, holy f---. 32m (10/13 3:52) 887232678 1 Reply >>887232116 (OP) >Get addicted to anthropomorphic airplane p--- W-- Post some of that s---

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anon has a bad day | /r/Greentext

File: B765A70B-OEF5-4018-AB7E-4(...).jpg (63 KB, 1000x1000) O Anonymous 10/13/22(Thu)11:22:35 No.70572475 ► >>70572485 >>70572495 >be me >at school >bad mood >piss in picrel >day later >head of sixth form calls all the males into a meeting >screams >says the culprit needs psychiatric help >said she hired a special hazard unit to dispose of it >are they gonna find my dna bros? >> Anonymous 10/13/22(Thu)11:23:52 No.70572485 >> Anonymous 10/13/22(Thu)11:25:05 No.70572495
File: B765A70B-OEF5-4018-AB7E-4(...).jpg (63 KB, 1000x1000) O Anonymous 10/13/22(Thu)11:22:35 No.70572475 ► >>70572485 >>70572495 >be me >at school >bad mood >piss in picrel >day later >head of sixth form calls all the males into a meeting >screams >says the culprit needs psychiatric help >said she hired a special hazard unit to dispose of it >are they gonna find my dna bros? >> Anonymous 10/13/22(Thu)11:23:52 No.70572485 >> Anonymous 10/13/22(Thu)11:25:05 No.70572495

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Anon has a Spiderbro | /r/Greentext

>have spiderbro >eats random bugs and s--- in my kitchen >once killed a mouse >we live happily together for a few months >one night, go to bars and pick up girl >bring girl home, end up heading to my bedroom >spiderbro is on wall >girl screams runs home >get so angry I kill spiderbro for denying me my needs >find out from friend couple days later that the girl had herpes >spiderbro knew >sadface.jpg
>have spiderbro >eats random bugs and s--- in my kitchen >once killed a mouse >we live happily together for a few months >one night, go to bars and pick up girl >bring girl home, end up heading to my bedroom >spiderbro is on wall >girl screams runs home >get so angry I kill spiderbro for denying me my needs >find out from friend couple days later that the girl had herpes >spiderbro knew >sadface.jpg

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Anon gets confused (not OP) | /r/Greentext


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